Sunday, December 30, 2007


noun. Not cool, dude.

Related term: mega-Fonzie.

Real citation: "The TSN Thumb and Runners: Santa must have left a steaming pile of reindeer poo in their stockings; because they've been out with a vengeance since Christmas. These Anti-Fonzies are truely worthless. Just a couple of anonymous Chachi's looking for a good time. Little cyber-vandals without a voice. Mental midgets marking the territories of others with their poodlescent behavior. Beware the big dogs little nippers. One day you're going to get caught."
(Jan. 4, 2007, "The Grim Blogger," The Sporting News,

Made-up citation: "The anti-Christ is superior to an anti-Fonzie in the areas of blood-soaked apocalyptic showdowns and grooming."

Wednesday, December 26, 2007


adj. Mega-acrobatic, like a Jedi knight or swamp monkey. Those little bastards are flippier than they sound, trust me.

Real citation: “That they never looked timid and still don't. So what if they're not whirly-twirly-leapy-flippy?”
(April 24, 2007, Star Wars: Message Boards,

Made-up citation: “I once tried to learn a backflip, but I am about as whirly-twirly-leapy-flippy as a bear that just ate a family, a community, and some badgers.”


noun. Someone who, according to sources, is done.

Steve McNair, Trent Dilfer, Damon Huard, Vinny Testaverde, Gus Frerotte, Trent Green, Daunte Culpepper, Brian Griese, Byron Leftwich
Comments: Really, it makes zero sense for any NFL team to start another season by telling its fans, ‘We're going into the season with (any of the above guys) as our starting QB.’ These guys should be finished in that capacity. Please tell me I'm right. Please. I'm begging you.”
(Bill Simmons, Dec. 21, 2007, “Lamenting our national arms crisis,”

Made-up citation: “All my exes are either now friends or fork-in-the-backers, which may not be the greatest word choice of this era.”

Monday, December 24, 2007


noun. An explosion of boobliness that no mind can fathom and no bra can contain.

Real citation: “My breasts spill out the top. (I was horrified to discover the tabloid press had a name for this: quadriboobage!) My breasts spill out the bottom. They spill out everywhere boobs can spill out, basically. But even if my breasts never fit what I felt inside, it seemed like at some point -- at some point! -- I should still have a bra that fit.”
(Sarah Hepola, Dec. 10, 2007, "Busting Out," Salon,

Made-up citation: "When the coffee shop started offering iced quadriboobage tea latte, quadriboobage with steamed milk, and kids’ quadriboobage, I suspected a change in management.”


noun. The hypothetical recipient of a mythological sex act that may or may not have been invented by Zeus and some farm animals: the Dirty Sanchez.

Real citation: “Was Screech the sanchezer, or was he the sanchezee? It matters.”
(Dec. 18, 2006,

Made-up citation: “In life, we are either Sanchezers or Sanchezees, said my biology teacher, before the arraignment.”

Sunday, December 23, 2007


adj. Butthole-y. Not to be confused with asshole-y. Feel free to confuse with bunghole-y.

Real citation: “But besides any of that, it wasn't even a good diss. Joel in particular is deserving of far greater teasing considering the havoc he wreaks on this city and its women and blind dogs after 17 drinks and a $120 bar tab. PM ME FOR THE DETAILZ AND YOU WILL THEN OWN HIS ASS ON THE WWW 4 LYF. And honestly, I don't think that Jose even has any buttholistic tendencies so you should just focus your extreme web anger on Joel for now ok????”
(Nov. 30, 2005,

Made-up citation: “Holistic medicine is a nontraditional needle in the back; buttholistic medicine is a trepan-tastic drill in the head.”


adj. Like chocolicious, but the dark, sweet joy was replaced with a Biblical disease-o-rama.

Real citation: “Mmmm tasty! lepro-licious!”
(Sept. 19, 2006, Joinee Forum,

Made-up citation: “The best thing I can say about your biscuits is that they are not lepro-licious. I can’t say that about the coffee.”

Thursday, December 20, 2007


noun. ‘Cause it’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with a NUCLEAR BOMB. SHUT UP AND KILL ME DEAD, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Real citation: “In a classic example of morning Song-Stuck-in-the-Headitude, I woke up the other day singing the following aberrant version of the old Beatles fave, "A Day in the Life:"”
(March 27, 2006, Lucy’s Spleen,

Made-up citation: “Song-stuck-in-the-headitude is a type of brain bleach moment that offends only one sense, unlike that time… That one time when… Huh, guess the bleach worked. Yay!”


noun. Who has time for cumbersome priests and crosses and holy water these days?

Real citation: “Maybe she's a ‘poser’ and had no idea what you meant by that. Probably thinking ‘Blessed Be’ is some kind of Christian insta-exorcism.”
(May 17, 2007,

Made-up citation: “My Christmas wish list: demon-possessed villagers, an insta-exorcism kit, towels, God’s blessing, and oatmeal stout. Hey, the righteous get thirsty.”

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


noun. Sanity. Cool, refreshing sanity.

Real citation: “Now, in Call of Cthulhu d20, spellcasters are just average schmoes whose need (or perverse desire) to cast a spell outweighs their commitment to continued non-bugnuttery.”
(Sept. 11, 2005,

Made-up citation: “I’d like to live a life of non-bugnuttery, but I speak to flowers about clouds. Hardware stores like me. Paper clips don’t.”


verb. To remove—by hook, crook, or spork—all that is douchebaggy from a “person” or object.

Real citation: “So here's my idea: I can de-douchebagify your Internet dating profile. I'll do it for free. I want people to be happy and find love! Send me your profile and I'll spruce it up and I GUARANTEE greater returns on romance. What do ya'll think? That's my new small business idea.”
(Nov. 15, 2006, Diary of a Mad Brown Woman,

Made-up citation: “To de-douchebagify you would take a trained team of therapists, surgeons, bartenders, and humanitarians--but losing the mustache is a good start.”

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

spoogeaholic screwpuppet

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.


adj. Sometimes those good bongo vibes leak into the brain, ruining the furniture.

Real citation: "2:59 p.m.
A Ninth and H drum-playing lunk
Was deep in a bongozoid funk
He’d broken probation
With vile vibrations
Pursuant to drumming while drunk."
(Kevin L. Hoover, Dec. 15, 2006, The Arcata Eye,

Made-up citation: “I have had bongozoid periods. Sadly, as a percussionist, I am an inspired interior decorator.”

American assload

noun. USA! USA! The metric system can go fuck itself.

Real citation: "how do you convert a metric ass load to an american ass load?"
(BigKahuna855, May 3, 2005,;f=5;t=011641;p=1)

Made-up citation: "The dollar is looking puny these days, but the American assload is looming ever-larger, due to significant increases in the really gross national butt-size."


adj. Pseudo-Irish--better check the family tree for stereotypes and leprechauns.

Real citation: "I also filled out dozens of forms to finalize my stay in Dublin: gas, electricity, apartment, retirement fund (oh yes, real soon now), social security and all that mandatory stuff. Now living in the new and permanent apartment it feels like.. well not Irish..ishy but living, not visiting."
(April 2, 2007, Everything is Mossible,

Made-up citation: "I have an Irish-ishy heritage, along with some British blood, which is why I hate myself and blew up my own smoothie maker."

Monday, December 17, 2007


noun. A doojigger. Possibly, a doowhackey.

Related term: thingahoosits.

Real citation: “I dont think Tarantino was trying to take credit for the film at all. Because they say Tarantino Presents, but they make it clear that someone else directed and all that foozamabob.”
(April 18, 2004, Discussion Boards,

Made-up citation: “Give me the foozamabob, Fred. Don’t throw away your life!”


noun. A clusterbleep built for innocent little children and demented high school biology students.

Related terms: clusterboink, clusterbop, clustercoitus, clusterduck, clusterfiretruck, clusterfornicate, clusterfrack, clusterfreak, clusterfrell, clusterfrick, clusterfrig, clusterfug, clusterhump, clusterplook, clusterpork, clusterschmuck, clustersmurf.

Real citation: “Yep, I like Snell. I think he could be a bad ass like Pedro. As my dad says, I should let it go about Pedro, but there is still a hit out on Fred Claire and Delino DeShields over that clusterfrog. Yeah, let's trade Lowe. I don't trust a guy who can be distracted by shiny new dime. I am not saying Lowe is stupid, but if he wasn't a pitcher, I get the impression he would make one fine village idiot.)
(Nov. 10, 1007, the big blue wrecking crew,

Made-up citation: “My love life is a clusterfrog, and the frog’s dead, and his spleen has been extracted, and I fear I shall croak no more. And I think I’m on a menu.”

Sunday, December 16, 2007


noun. This takes “playing with Confederate money” to a new level.

Real citation: “see? that makes more sense than cyber-pseudo-robo-booobies
(Jan. 5, 2007, Transformers New Zealand Message Boards,

Made-up citation: “I hate MySpace. All I get out of it are invitations from cyber-pseudo-robo-babes with cyber-pseudo-robo-booobies who want to be my cyber-pseudo-robo-friends. But man cannot—will not!—live on imaginary porno people alone.”


noun. A smart academic or determined enthusiast who plooks like a Viking. Excuse me, studies like a Viking. Make that, studies Vikings. Whatever, I'm tired.

Real citation: “As a vikingologist....I am disappointed at the way the vikings are portrayed in this movie.”
(Feb. 14, 2007,

Made-up citation: “Because I love Swedish pancakes and accept Thor as my personal savior, I consider myself a Viking--and I don’t care what Vikingologists say. Hey, at least I’m not living in a fantasy world."

Saturday, December 15, 2007


noun. You are here.

Related terms: Assclownistan, Batshitistan, Duckfuckistan, East Buttfuckistan, Lower Buttmunchistan, Whackjobistan, Where-the-fuck-istan.

Real citation: "If the internet was a country, it would be 'I'mboredsowhere'sthepornistan'"
(Buck Williams, June 22, 2007, We're Right and You're Wrong!,

Made-up citation: "If the answer can't be found in I'mboredsowhere'sthepornistan, the answer can't be found, according to librarians. Er, make that wankerologists."

Thursday, December 13, 2007


noun. A soaper and frother and celebrator of one’s own balls, or one’s fellow man’s balls, or the balls of a goat.

Real citation: “Once safe in the cool air of the parking lot, I realized there's a good chance the dude probably suffers from some sort of psychosis/mental disorder. Then again, there's always the chance that he's just a creepy dude. Either way, if I had to choose, I think I'd take the grandpas lathering their balls at me to ol' Nyarrrmy. With the ball-latherers, you know what you're getting -- lathered balls. That's as far is it ever goes. With Nyarrrmy? Who the fuck knows?!”
(Nov. 5, 2006, Crabbydad,

Made-up citation: “In a totalitarian testicular society, ball-latherers and goat-ball-lickers are more important than doctors and lawyers, said my political science professor.”


noun. The victim of a ratfuck. Oh, like they say, the humanity.

Real citation: “Yesterday, a young inexperienced political partisan whose judgment was as deficient as her legal training, testified before the House Judiciary Committee. She was the ratfuckee.”
(May 24, 2007, The Nitty Gritty,

Made-up citation: “I hate my mind, so I’ll gladly be your brain-suckee. But I have my dignity, and I will never be your butler. However, I will entertain offers for the position of ratfuckee or minion.”

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


noun. Mumbo-jumbo, gobbledy-gook, or other higgledy-piggledy-type gibble-gabble.

Real citation: "Sydney's all, why? Note-Taking Guy's all, we just need you to take some general physical tests -- MRI, lumbar puncture, CT scan, et cetera. You know, nothing too SERIOUS or anything. Vaughn turns to The Weasel: "What the hell is going on here?" Sydney's all, um, how about NO on those tests? Lindsay's all, Agent Bristow, we respectfully ask you to mumbledy-moomba. Sydney's all, BITE ME, BITCH. I've answered all your stupid fucking questions, but if you want to STICK NEEDLES IN ME, you're gonna have to tell me what in the HELL is going on here. Lindsay's all, that's top secret. Syd's all, top secret MY ASS. How's about I take your pale butt outside and do a little top-secret dance on your SKULL?"
(Erin, "The Prophesy," page 4,

Made-up citation: "After the yada yada and the mumbledy-moomba and the jibber-jabber were edited out, the Presidential debates were reduced to nothing but prepositions and some very nice hair."


noun. A painful predicament, when literal, for the ass-owner. In the metaphorical cases, pain is well-distributed amongst friends and countrymen.

Real citation: "Even taking into account the licensing difficulties I suspect that it could have been stated more clearly. And then there's the whole _Lungbarrow_ problem that's brought up by the use of "brother" rather than "I have a, well, the relationship is something like a brother," which would at least have left open the possibility that Irving was a Cousin who avoided being namechecked during _Lungbarrow_ and later managed to overcome the family trait of iron-rod-up-one's-assedness and chose to hit the road."
(William December Starr, Nov. 9, 2001,

Made-up citation: "Like diabetes, alcoholism, and flying-squirrel ownership, iron-rod-up-one's-assedness is hereditary. It can only be overcome through sugar, alcohol, and adorable exotic pets."

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


adj. Sorta kinda like you and me, rulers of the world! The highest rung on the food chain! At least until insatiable mecha-lizards from outer space show up.

Real citation: "Name: Khon'u
Gender: ...think Guy
Race: Human-esque-ish-like"
(The Kneumatic Pnight, Dec. 1, 2004,

Made-up citation: "What an adorable, adorable child. He's...human-esque-ish-like. And he's smart, smart as houses."


noun. The not-so-sweet sounds of male self-love.

Real citation: "3. Position as in #2. Mindfuck me: walk around the bed, talk quiet filth. Let me hear your hand on yourself, soft whuckwhuckwhucking. Kneel astride me and fuck my mouth. Unload on me exactly where you choose."
("What I want," Jan. 26, 2005, Pussy Talk,

Made-up citation: "Note to dorm residents: If your roommate is whuckwhuckwhucking himself while you're in the room, you are permitted immediate relief via the swift employment of a baseball bat."


noun. Beat-the-dead-horsey-tude.

Real citation: "Yup. Real cliche, there. Say--you don't suppose that its cliche status has anything to to with the hoariness and done-to-deathitude of the *thing itself*, do you?"
(Russell B. Goode, Sept. 5, 2002,

Made-up citation: "In politics, which has the highest done-to-deathitude rating: Jesus-mentioning, liberal-lambasting, Reagan-revering, intern-violating, focus-group-humping, or pant-hooting?"


noun. A citizen with the gift of gab, feminine wiles, and a pet monkey. In the interests of accuracy, the pet monkey is optional, and citizenship is irrelevant.

Real citation: "A liberal blowhard or blowhardette"
("The Campus Scout Quiz," Jan. 21, 2004, Daily Illini,

Made-up citation: "Despite stereotypes that insist blowhardettes breed like rabbits and flood the streets of the tri-state area, men are the real world-champion yammerers."

Monday, December 10, 2007


noun. A sudden, moist development. Sources indicate someone took a peepee in the teepee.

Related term: insta-redemption.

Real citation: "Monday, November 6 3:28 p.m. A dashing gent clad in bandana and alcohol made a big splash on the sidewalk outside a Valley West restaurant – the type better confined to a restroom. His getaway strategy, based on milling around next to his acrid insta-pond of processed beverage, proved inadequate."
(Kevin L. Hoover, Nov. 6, 2006, The Arcata Eye,

Made-up citation: "My pooch was so excited to see me that he made an insta-pond of Biblical proportions in his friend's condo. Guess that's why Mom always said, 'Massive, uncontrollable urination is the sincerest form of flattery.'"


adj. Ping! Gak! Meep! There goes my creepydar.

Related terms: cop-outy, sticky-outy, non-sticky-outy.

Real citation: "I've seen Svankmajer's Alice. I get creeped out by dolls in general and this Alice is a doll that moves, doubly creepy-outy (for me)."
(merlot, March 16, 2005, The Third Eye Film Society,

Made-up citation: "Of all my cousins, you are the least creepy-outy. Let's make out."

Sunday, December 09, 2007


noun. Syllabically, crap times six.

Real citation: “Do what I did when I went so long without the Curmudgeon Fix: I watched Cowboy Bebop’s 'Ballad of Fallen Angels' episode until I was braced with enough of what is good and right in artwork, to deal with Johnson’s strip crapolapalooza. Yes, it’s cheating to use anime as a vaccine but dammit, you don’t deal with a plague like Foobville without intensive countermeasures.”
(Jan. 8, 2007, The Comics Curmudgeon,

Made-up citation: “’The Wire is the biggest crapolapalooza on TV,’ said the nutsopath, breaking my batshitometer.”

hit the smutpot

verb phrase. Something naughty leprechauns might know about.

Real citation: “Sharking is a real thing. Go to google and type in sharking pictures and I bet you will feel like you hit either the jackpot or smutpot.”
(HickoryColt, Dec. 6, 2007, “2-8: "Secrets and Lies" 2007.12.06,” Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: “I apologize to web-searchers who tried to hit the smutpot but ended up here. All I have are words, non-boner-giving words."

Thursday, December 06, 2007


adj. The opposite of blessedly-boobed. At least boobaphobes won't be traumatized by alarming deficits in the boobological region.

Real citation: “In a crowd of that many men, maybe one extremely foolish man out of 100 will hit on me. Here, I was completely invisible, which was a blast. When we got really jammed in, I almost felt bad for boobing on those mens. 'Sorry I am touching you with my dirty pillows!' I wanted to say. But they didn't care. Those leather daddies were too busy humiliating each other, drinking beer, and checking out the (non-beboobed) scenery.”
(Aug. 22, 2006, I, Asshole,

Made-up citation: "The Zen master said, 'Non-beboobed is no substitute for cat-bepooped.' I became enlightened and started herding cats."


noun. A multi-poled version of sad-sackism.

Real citation: “July 4th was a bust like I knew it would be. I drunk dialed (though I barely drank) and ended up in sad-sack mode with ye olde partner in sad-to-manic-sackery.”
(July 8, 2007, I love you in the face,

Made-up citation: "Sad-to-manic-sackery is an annoying trait, but it beats leprosy."

Wednesday, December 05, 2007


noun. A polecat-type individual who is awesomer and chrome-platier than his peers.

Real citation: “Likes...: Movies. A little too much in fact. Video Games (obviously).. And all the other stuff I’ve probably mentioned. OH. FERRETS! Perhaps even bioengineered super robo ferrets.”

Made-up citation: “Super-robo-ferrets are a pest; that’s true. However, in many circumstances, they are preferable to super-robo-mole-monsters.”


adj. Sometimes “orgasm-y” just isn’t enough to blow your English teacher’s skirt up.

Real citation: “Ok...first off...your first time will not be "good"...special maybe. but not good. So don't expect some mindblowing orgasmological time.”
(Oct 14, 2002,

Made-up citation: “Astrotechnological problems become orgasmological issues when spacemen get their weenies stuck in the Tang-dispenser.”

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


noun. The next step in our evolutionary journey--if we play our cards right.

Related terms: poodlehuahua, wienerhuahua.

Real citation: “As to the issue of who's been tampering with my potables, well, Mister Malice blames Mister Monkey. He says we should take him back to the Labs, toss him into the teleporter with a dog and see if we can make a ‘chimphuahua.’”
(June 7, 2003,

Made-up citation: "If gays are allowed to marry, pretty soon chimphuahuas will marry hellhounds. Their marriage bed will be a mud pit filled with pig ears, barbecued stem cells, chicken-fried flags, and mud. That's where gay liberal madness leads!"


noun. An eco-friendly hole that may also be dork-friendly.

Real citation: “Wow, cool enviro hobbit hole!”
(Aug. 3, 2007, The Bee Buzz,

Made-up citation: “I feel good about purchasing an enviro-hobbit-hole, though I’m a little tired of chasing the little critters away. Hobbitcest is sick and wrong, and those stains don’t come out.”

Bond villain-y

adj. Slightly less cartoonish than Scooby-doo-villain-y.

Related terms: Bond villain-esque, Bond villain-ish.

Real citation: “They're basically supposed to be the Marvel equivalent of The Rogues. A gang of thieves who use high tech weapons and, in the case of two of them, super powers to pull of robberies, but stay out of the Bond villain-y take over the world plots and are above the actions of cold blooded psychos like Osborn or Purple Man.”
(Oct. 3, 2007, SuperHeroHype Boards,

Made-up citation: “Our relationship is getting stale… Why don’t you put on something Bond villain-y, and I’ll search my closet for something special-forces-y. That’ll put some holy-cowsers in our trousers.”


adj. Crest go boom. Me go sad(ish).

Real citation: “Even though I had kind of spoiled it by being ungracious about red wine earlier so he looked crestfallenish.”
(Oct. 29, 2005,

Made-up citation: “Spilt milk makes me melancholy. Spilt growlers of expensive beer leave me crestfallenish. And overturned vats of virgin blood really chafe my nipples.”

Monday, December 03, 2007


noun. The underpublicized, web-footed cousin of the poopoohead and poopoowad.

Real citation: “lauren lover i miss seein u poopooheadbutt
(May 1, 2007,

Made-up citation: "To understand the true character of a poopooheadbutt, watch how he reacts in time of trouble."


noun. A potentially painful process that, despite its health hazards, does tend to conserve space.

Real citation: “Today, after lunch at the Mexican joint next to the karate school, Patrick and I got into a wreck in his car. For once, I was glad he never took me up on the motorcycle/sidecar idea I'm constantly proposing. That's really the only drawback to the sidecar, instant smushification in case of an accident.”
(Cody Powell, Sept. 2, 2004,

Made-up citation: "I'm scared of heights, women, men, smushification, intimacy, spiders, feral cats, and miffed polar bears."

Thursday, November 29, 2007


noun. Look out smurfwads and non-fugly-blubber-wads. There’s a new wad in town.

Related terms: motherfuckface, motherfuckhead, motherfucknut.

Real citation: “i switched to tucson recruiters because im sick of dealing with this vegas motherfuckwad
(April 17, 2007,

Made-up citation: “My therapist says I should try to find the motherlovewad in every motherfuckwad. I fired her.”


noun. A virtue that is seldom mentioned in the Bible or the finest finishing schools on the Eastern seaboard.

Real citation: “being popular does not dispel the state of ‘jackassery’. you know as well as i do that popularity does not presuppose ‘non-jackassitude’. one may be popular and a jackass. g-dubs is.”
(Dec. 18, 2002,

Made-up citation: “Fred, you don’t have a scrap of decency. But sweet Jesus, haven’t you got a morsel of non-jackassitude?”

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


noun. A crapamajig.

Real citation: “I think you're right stillshimpy re: Gina. Not only did Pegasus have to do a blind jump seconds before a double dose of nukes came their way, they had to sever the docking thingahoosits prematurely and leave with their knickers down. Unless Gina knew Cain, the soldier, very well, she couldn't have guessed that. Hell, Cain didn't even know that she would try something like that.”
(LFNikita, Nov. 26, 2007, “4-0: "Razor" 2007.11.24,” Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: “I would never pay fifty bucks for a thingahoosits. I wouldn’t even pay that much for a night with your mom. Then again, I’ve never had a thingahoosits…”


adj. Euphemistic to the umpteenth power—we’re talking hundreds of Courics here.

Real citation: “Euphemtastic! Read in a letter, from the director of the ASU School of Life Sciences: '...potentially hazardous substances in the wrong hands can seriously jeopardize the quality of life in our society.' Brilliant. Now, if you'll excuse me, potentially boring works of literature are about to seriously jeopardize the quality of life of my evening.
(Aug. 26, 2003, smoking the bones,

Made-up citation: “Here’s a euphemtastic expression: the freedom bag. I don’t look forward to a future of freedom-probing and freedom-washing—my ass and brain are sensitive.”

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


noun. A useful tool for brain surgeons, mindplookers, and cannibal chefs.

Real citation: “Unless it's a NeuroSpatula of Unrelenting Pain, then....... well........”
(March 28, 2006,

Made-up citation: “Damn it, henchgoon! How many times do I have to tell you to sanitize the neurospatula and exorcism tongs?”


adj. Mmm...tastes like front-runner.

Real citation: “’Decisively Democrat’: include a little of every flavor without committing to exactly what flavor the ice-cream is. The result: a treat that tries to fit everyone's taste but, as a result, is so mixed up it appeals to no one. It's Hilary-licious!”
(Aug. 2, 2005, Wonkette,

Made-up citation: “I am ready for a Hillary-licious new America. Or an Obama-rama. Even a Rudy-palooza would be OK. Hell, let’s elect Satan. Just get me a new President stat!”

Monday, November 26, 2007


noun. Like a cockawhatever, but more famous. Not necessarily more hygienic.

Related terms: celebubot, celebubrat, celebucaust, celebu-chef, celebudrunk, celebudude, celebu-ex-con, celebufreak, celebu-gasmic, celebu-idiot, celebu-mediawhore, celebupod, celebu-rexic, celebuspawn, celebu-shambles, celebutard, celebutart, celebutot, celebuturd, celebutwin, celebu-wraith, golden celebutwit triumverate.

Real citation: “I wouldn't put it past any celebuwhatever--they routinely amaze me with their hairbrained schemes (has SL *done* anything other than be born to famous people?).”
(Dec. 28, 2005, Bad Advice,

Made-up citation: "I'd love to be a celebuwhatever, but I am just a tin-plated robowhatever, built to destroy. Meep-meep, bzzzzzzt-meep, bzzzzzzt-meep."

go mentalish

verb phrase. Go postalish, if not postalish-bionic.

Real citation: “I ruin everyone i've ever dated i never leave a guy and have them either not cry, breakdown, go mentalish or go cold and any combination you'd like to throw in there of all those.”
(July 9, 2007, Nexopia,

Made-up citation: “As I write this, my batshit dog is going mentalish because his fluffball friend doesn't want to play. I swear, he could wear out five fluffballs a day; I should rent him out."

Sunday, November 25, 2007


noun. A perfect stocking stuffer for the buttily challenged or legally compromised.

Real citation: “Seriously. It's like they're begging to be crushed. I can't think of a company with less sense of humor than Sony, and I really can't think of anyone who protects his IP better than Lucas. They're going to combine to form some sort of mega-legal-robo-proctologist, and they're not going to stop until they get to the back of the SWGEMU team's teeth.”
(June 26, 2006, Slashdot,

Made-up citation: “Mom! Joey left my mega-legal-robo-proctologist out in the rain, and its threatening to sue and anally probe us.”


adj. Payback-y; blowback-y; karma-y.

Real citation: “FORESHADOWY GOODNESS: When Giles tells Buffy that this is not the worst mistake she'll ever make, it is very similar to the scene later on in the season, in Innocence, after Buffy has made yet another mistake, of a far more repercussiony nature, in sleeping with Angel and thus releasing his inner beast.”

Made-up citation: “If God is truly a repercussiony God, then why do I have to disembowel my enemies myself? I could use a little help here, big guy—hint hint.”


adj. A word that will never be applied to Barry White.

Related terms: nano-bionic-whateverization, nano-douche-bot, nanoschlong, nanotesticles, nano-wand of love.

Real citation: “My God, Peter. Why on earth you would approvingly quote a man who called the passengers on the two WTC-crashed flights “scaredy cats” escapes me entirely. That you continue to offer these watery mealy-mouthed defenses of that nano-souled charlatan simply makes me want to give up on you.”
(Sept. 12, 2007, Blowhards,

Made-up citation: “Come see my presentation, ‘Nano-souledness: Technological innovation or existential nightmare?’ Free donuts to audience members without souls.”


noun. Like a poodle-in-law, but with slightly less pooping on the sidewalk.

Real citation: “I actually suggested to my mom several days ago that we buy that book for my sis, but I can see that the BIL needs to read it first. If I have to, I will not only beat him with the book, I will have my brothers video-tape it and post it on YouTUBE! (just kidding, but it could happen, if butthead-in-law doesn't cooperate).”
(Nov. 13, 2007, Conservative Underground,

Made-up citation: “According to the critical-period hypothesis, if I don’t smother my butthead-in-law with a pillow this weekend, the baby Jesus will cry.”

Friday, November 23, 2007


noun. Two donuts were minding their own business. Then their life-giving inner goo was so callously siphoned. Those donuts had families, sir!

Real citation: “Apparently the problem was rather more dire than I suspected, as I found out after a three-quarter hour and two-donut-dejellification wait.”
(June 4, 2007, Riklblog,

Made-up citation: “I don’t care for your views on abortion and taxes. However, your doctoral work on two-donut-dejellification is intriguing.”


noun. Fucking abounds. Sometimes, simultaneously.

Real citation: “so, what you are asking for, is a transgenerational simul-fuck?”
(Nov. 15, 2007,

Made-up citation: “A clusterfuck, a simul-fuck, and a castrofuck walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Cheney’s been waiting.’”

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.


noun. Love can happen anywhere, but it’s more likely on the sofa than in a vat. If only someone had told me!

Real citation: “Later, when he comforts her after their failed attempt at some couch-makeouting, I felt it was mostly to further his sexless agenda. He can comfort her, because comforting her ensures that he can keep things status quo.”
(Asa Hawks, Oct. 11, 2006, "The Old Dexter Thread," Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: “If couch-makeouting equals first base, then I regret to inform you that your mom has gone to seventh base with five guys in a three-block radius.”


noun. Congressrodent.

Real citation: “Nevada Democrat congresswad Harry Reid has been busted for crooked dealings. Democrats reading this can mince words. They can twist and whine and produce obscure laws and say "technically, he didn't violate X law as it existed on X date." I am sure they will. But that doesn't change the fact that Harry Reid is a crooked scumbag.”
(Oct. 11, 2006, Lou Minatti,

Made-up citation: “When I feel worthless, and there’s no hope, and I might as well end it all, seven words bring me back from the depths of despair: At least I’m not a congresswad. Huzzah!”


adj. Fantastically sorority-y.

Real citation: “friday we drove to college of charleston where we immediately started boozing and i made an ass of myself while singing fuck the pain away. ooops, i was a bit sororitastic.”
(Dec. 7, 2006,

Made-up citation: “Nothing can break the sororitastic bond…but tune in tonight when a renegade nun-in-chief gives it her best shot.”

Monday, November 19, 2007


noun. Technobabble with a dab of bozoness for flavor.

Real citation: “The guy could have said "one tenth of an inch" and been clear and correct but tried to jazz it up by adding pseudo-bozo-techno-lingo and just got it wrong-o.”
(Jan. 9, 2002,

Made-up citation: “I understand very little pseudo-bozo-techno-lingo, yet I am fluent in Klingon, Swedish chefese, and zoo noises.”


noun. Everybody dies, even adorable bunnies, squirrels, and dentists.

Real citation: “I just went for lunch and noticed that it hurts when I try to open my jaw too far. This is entirely new, and originated when I went to the specialist (ontodontist). Maybe it is unreasonable of me to blame, but I suspect his unwisely placed injections are causing this trouble. Need I say that dentisticide is imminent? The only thing stopping my from doing silly things is the fact that I really, really don't want to see ANY DENTISTS OR DOCTORS EVER AGAIN. Sorry for shouting but I do feel quite strongly about the matter.”
(Feb. 23, 2006, Questing Beast,

Made-up citation: “My tooth feels weird after a filling; it felt just fine before. Grounds for dentisticide?"

Sunday, November 18, 2007


noun. Like truthiness, but the slippery truth has been replaced with skanky family fun.

Real citation: “I just found out that Colin Farrell is in a movie of Home at the End of the World! I must have it! Okay, slight incestiness, but still! Such a gorgeous book - though I never got to finish it ;_; stupid library fines! *wants film*”
(June 10, 2007, Only Latin Can Save Mankind!,

Made-up citation: "Barfologists agree that incestiness is less gross than incest, yet grosser than your oozing cyst. That's not an oozing cyst? A thousand pardons."


noun. The art and science of the bippy-smooch--that most practical of all mouthjobs.

Real citation: “If we're all just gonna kiss each others asses, then really, why bother even comin' on here. it's answerology, not asskissology....“
(July 10, 2006, Answerology,

Made-up citation: "As a guidance counselor, I recommend a minor in asskissology to all students, regardless of major. I also provide free chapstick and a Coke."

Thursday, November 15, 2007


noun. A precise mind-molesting instrument. I beg your pardon! A mind-molestation-detecting instrument. Oh my.

Real citation: “Shallow Grave and A Simple Plan are fairly high on the mindfuckometer too. Good to see, anyways :)”
(May 13, 2003,

Made-up citation: “Want to know if you’ve been neurodoublefucked or merely brainboozled? Order a mindfuckometer today and receive a free whisk."


noun. A nun above all others, with the biggest ruler in the tri-state area.

Real citation: “A curmudgeonly octogenarian offers his crumbling Danish castle to the Russian Orthodox Church, but then clashes with the new nun-in-chief about how to run the place in accomplished docu 'The Monastery.'"
(Dec. 28, 2006, Filmchat,

Made-up citation: "Little girl, you can be anything when you grow up: the nun-in-chief, a despotette-wannabe, a celebu-shambles. It's all up to you. Now run down to the meth lab and fetch my slippers."

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


noun. Enrich your diet with coconut-bananas--er, cuckoo-bananas.

Real citation: “[locked from a certain gravel voiced psychonutball guy who shall remain nameless]”
(March 23, 2007,

Made-up citation: "If you look deep into the heart of a psychonutball, you'll find somebody's psycho-love-ball."


adj. A super-sweet, cream-filled period of won’t-last-itude.

Real citation: “Seriously. Binky, did you R-U-N-N-O-F-T with Mister Dub, and now you're living a life of blissful honeymoonitude so you no longer need us? That'd be AWESOME.”
(July 6, 2007, Snider Board,

Made-up citation: “After the honeymoonitude is over, most couples will be challenged by financial, psychological, religious, cultural, and zoological problems. Yes, for some, sheepherding isn’t just a vocation; it’s a romantic comedy.”

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


noun. One notch lower on the evolutionary ladder than your mom--er, than a scumbucket. Your mom is very sweet, a great humanitarian. In bed, anyway.

Real citation: “You will cherrypie! Scumbucketface!”
(Feb. 17, 2007, Conquer Club,

Made-up citation: "English teachers say that 'scumbucketface' is an awkward word to make plural--it sounds too much like scumbucketfeces."


adj. Moderately dumbassified.

Real citation: “Over her shoulder, she says 'well, yeah' like we're semi-moronish for even asking. She continues to walk away, leaving us in the hall looking at her.”
(April 24, 2007,

Made-up citation: "A full box of rocks is moronic; two or three rocks are semi-moronish, according to neurologists. To estimate your own intelligence, count your rocks."

Monday, November 12, 2007


noun. A little adorable poop. If only we could see it, and pet it, and make it our friend...

Real citation: “(a) ... because I'm prejudiced against nanopoop chemistry: George Whitesides, Sumio Iijima, and Stoddart (forgot his first name, the molecular machines guy)”
(Oct. 9, 2007,

Made-up citation: "Compared to big dogs, my rat terrier is a nanopooper--for which I am grateful. Thanks, Odin! You too, Thor."


adj. When "wankery" isn't enough to impress your English teacher.

Real citation: “No. It's self righteous high horse riding wankeristical uh... material? :p Yeah I ran out of stupid words :P so we'll stick with sarcasm, it's easy!”
(June 13, 2007 ,

Made-up citation: "Grad school is to Jamaica as wankeristical is to tropical. I learned that and other problematic lessons in grad school."


noun. An unholy cross-breed of proud man, frightened rabbit, and demented assistant.

Related terms: henchboobs, henchchicken, henchdoofus, henchdork, henchgoon, henchho, henchmoron, henchnoncorporeal being, henchscum.

Real citation: "Ganbare Goemon 2 - Resting in the Ryukyu Resort, Goemon and Ebisumaru's vacation is cut short by the Wise Man of Iga's creation, Sasuke. He informs the two of the evil 'Western' General, Magginesu, who has set his sights on Japan. Having already taken over Oedo, he works on the rest of the land. Being on the other side of the island, the three set out to make it back to Oedo, and encounter Magginesu's hench-Bunny-men along the way."
(Online Life,

Made-up citation: "My finances won't permit the acquisition of a trained cadre of minions and consultants. But I can probably afford some adorable hench-bunny-men--think I'll get a six-pack."


adj. Not reptilian, Martian, freaky, or insectoid.

Real citation: “I'll be a normal persony thing”
(Jan. 25, 2003,

Made-up citation: "My dates have been so insta-hellish lately that I am starting to feel not-so-normal-persony. Or maybe there's just food in my beard...anybody got a mirror?"

Sunday, November 11, 2007


noun. A more attractive wad than most.

Real citation: “Good morning, boobwad.”
(mendhak, May 18, 2006,

Made-up citation: "'An optimist is a person who is always looking for new definitions of the word 'boobwad,' according to some hootchie-wad."


noun. Winkie-wilter.

Real citation: “Those lips, that hair, those bold assertions--it's every neocon's Rita Hayworth wet dream, though I suspect that even the most tail-thumping horndog will find the presence of this goateed git in the frame something of a cock-crinkler, to quote Kingsley Amis again, and the inclusion of this old boulder will do nothing to improve sap production.”
(James Wolcott, July 12, 2007,

Made-up citation: "Ever have sex with your girlfriend in her mom's bed, surrounded by images of Mickey Mouse and Jesus? Um, me neither. I'm also not sure if the rodent or the savior is more of a cock-crinkler."

Friday, November 09, 2007


noun. Brains go bye-bye. Insert explosion sounds here.

Real citation: "Seriously though, it's an open invite. I'd love to work with anybody that is a member of this studio as we are all professionals and the quality of the work being produced here is outstanding in every regard. So who wants to do a ten pager that's going to blow people's minds? I'm a mind blower upper! C'mon!"
(Dec. 7, 2005, EnemyOne,

Made-up citation: "Here's a canine mind-blower-upper: Why is my 12-pound dog brave enough to hump a great dane yet wimpy enough to squeak after getting hit in the face with a leaf?"


noun. A stache of pooey proportions.

Real citation: “Picked up a green flannel shirt and some baggy kakhi dress pants from the thrift store. It looks so fucking ridiculous...And when I throw sneakers and a do rag into the mix, it's over...It's just over. I even grew out a crapstache and everything. I'll have pics before it's all said and done.”
(Oct. 27, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Most bearded men make fun of crapstaches, and many fembots sneer at fake boobs. Well, God doesn't care for other gods, so maybe hypocrisy is divinely inspired, like bingo and vampire-hunters."

Thursday, November 08, 2007


noun. The transcendent essence of that which we all bow to, poop in, or drink from: the porcelain god.

Real citation: “But this one is different. Down near Thaksin bridge, in SE Central Bangkok, there is a public toilet that makes me smile every time I pass it. The attendants have turned it into a magical haven of toiletitude. As you walk down the path, you are surrounded by small trees in pots, and even a water feature full of lotus flowers.”
(May 22, 2006, lexa lotus (everywhere),

Made-up citation: "The new Superman comic attempts to humanize the man of steel by unveiling his Fortress of Toiletitude and seventeen illegitimate super-children."


adj. Blarghhhhhhhh...

Real citation: “Eurgh... anesthetic sucks! Nausea-tastic- but oh do I love anti-nausea drugs.”
(March 6, 2007, Kite Fantastic,

Made-up citation: "If your pill-bottle label has words like 'nausea-tastic' and 'berry-licious,' you may not be dealing with a reputable pharmacist. Consult your pharmacist immediately."

Wednesday, November 07, 2007


adj. Chock full o' non-eviltude.

Real citation: “The Welding mask reminded me of Vader in a non-vaderish kind of way =).”
(Nov. 7, 2005,

Made-up citation: “I don’t have high expectations for the next President. I'll settle for non-Vaderish and semi-mammalian."


adj. Goopy and spooky. May cause ibby-jibbies.

Related terms: ectoplasmology, ectoplasmologist.

Real citation: “Ectoplasmological testing is useless in this case instance. Now if you want to talk UV light testing procedures of Stradivari's varnishes and surface preparaions, bring it on. Make sure you've got plenty of experience before you start running your mouth, though.”
(Aug. 11, 2007, eBay Forums,

Made-up citation: "My dog is losing hair, and the vet can't figure out why... What if his problem is more ectoplasmological than parasitical? Might be time to try the exorcism tongs."

Monday, November 05, 2007


noun. A shitbuckethead, but younger.

Real citation: “he is always an arse that is why we love him so :pwe love that poopoobuckethead.”
(Nov. 2, 2001,

Made-up citation: "My therapist is concerned that I think of myself as a poopoobuckethead. She's trying to talk me up to buckethead."


noun. A quality that's about as straight as my gay uncle.

Real citation: “Finally, straightforwardiness from somebody!”
(March 10, 2007,

Made-up citation: "I admire your penitence, but I deplore your straightforwardiness. Are you done with those pita chips?"


verb. Now you see balls. Now you don't. Tada!

Related terms: deballify, deballification, denutification, renutification.

Real citation: "I know they will be fine, and I know that Marci's friend's dad and stepmom are taking turns staying awake all night so that they can keep an eye on them, I have already given them my permission to shoot/skin/denutify any potential cherry-poppers."
(June 23, 2006, Tidbits O' Chunks,

Made-up citation: "If God decided to denutify all men and start over with a race of self-replicating super-women, do you think I could hide on the moon from his ball-busting wrath?"


noun. A dumbshit qualified to be a nun. Or a rockette. Or a female rocket scientist. Doh!

Real citation: “DumbShitette and DumbShit”

Made-up citation: "You're not a dumbshitette, darling. We'll unfreeze your tongue from that pesky fence eventually."

Sunday, November 04, 2007


noun. A Linus--as Arrested Development's Buster calls the tallywhacker.

Real citation: “Thanks for the phone call today. Your timing couldn't have been more perfect and having the image of Queen Elizabeth down on her knee's choking on the ole' man-chete' totally got me through the rest of my shitty-ass day. THANKS!”
(June 27, 2007,

Made-up citation: "To my daughter: Any dude who brags about his man-chete deserves to be nuked. There are WMDs in the cabinet for this purpose."


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Thursday, November 01, 2007


noun. A multitude of assitude heretofore unimagined by assologists, buttheads, or civilians.

Related terms: crapitudinousness, funkitudinousness, skankitudinousness.

Real citation: “Lucky Charms, almost uniquely among cereals, possesses an irreducible assitudinousness: it will taste like that whether you immerse it in milk, water, V8, Pennzoil or Fletcher's Castoria.”
(Aug. 31, 2007,

Made-up citation: "Ah, the Phoenix Suns...the NBA team with the least assitudinousness. They are a non-assy oasis in a brown, buttocky sea. Ew."


noun. You've heard of "playing with confederate money"? Well, some women are playing with stainless-steel, indestructible, nipple-blaster-equipped money.

Related terms: robo-boob, robo-nipple, robo-rack.

Real citation: “Admit it, you just want some robo boobage.”
(April 26, 2005, TFans Transformers Community,

Made-up citation: "I went into science for the robo-boobage. I'm staying in science for the robo-zombie army."


adj. A poodle by marriage, not by adoption or romance.

Real citation: “I promise a real blog tomorrow at the latest. And then a recap of this weekend's Guyse Family Christmas events will come Sunday afternoon. I'll give you a teaser... it will surely involve chain smoking in-laws, a Christmas Ham, a geriatric poodle-in-law, 2 toddlers, no less than 3 inflatable beds, and Dirty Santa.”
(Dec. 18, 2003, My Little Life,

Made-up citation: "Any wife of mine is going to get a pretty sweet deal: access to my yacht, walks with her poodle-in-law, summers in South Carolina, and three easily treatable VDs."


adj. To quote the great Nelson Mandela: "Ha ha!" Or was that Nelson from The Simpsons...

Real citation: “Of all the possible reasons to get kicked out of school, this one makes for the best anecdote by far. Expelled for politely questioning a fellow student's belief in leprechauns. I would have been much less polite. More laugh-in-your-facey.”
(Nov. 27, 2006,

Made-up citation: "These are difficult times for Odin, with so few worshippers. Please pray to him in a supportive, penitent way. He doesn't care for that laugh-in-your-facey stuff. And he may only have one eye, but his ravens see all--and I mean all, poopstick."

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


adj. Blessed-union-y.

Real citation: “The mass was pretty long with all the readings and hymns but I guess it's sweet in a way -- all formal and holy-matrimonialish.”
(Sept. 26, 2004, Banana Pen,

Made-up citation: "This coffee shop is nice, but can we skip the priest, the rice, the veil, the cake, and the bridesmaids? They seem a little holy-matrimonialish for chess club."


adj. An omnipotent, omniscient, freaking awesome fuckish word.

Real citation: “So we decided to go out to dinner, and picked a local Tex-Mex restaurant. Where Alex thought it'd be fun to spend the evening climbing over Anna and throwing silverware, and where a roaming omnifucking mariachi band made it impossible to even think clearly, much less talk clearly.”
(Sept. 4, 2007, “Having Fun - The Dragon*Con Report,”

Made-up citation: "'Sweet omnifucking Lord!' is almost not blasphemous."


noun. Take an asswipe. Add a buttwad. Subtract an assbutt. Voila.

Real citation: “dude...whats with all the racist bullshit on here? Get a fucking life you wadwipe. I have no problems with a little name calling but racism is just weak and outdated. It really diminishes the validity of the board.”
(Sept. 24, 2007, Stillers Talk,

Made-up citation: "In a world of buttwipes, I am a wadwipe. And I don't trust buttwipes."


adj. More poignant than poignant, less poignant than poignantastic.

Real citation: “Thanks also for 'Leftover Lady.' What can I say, I think it’s a very poignantistic poem and Jade’s kookificness is very loveable.”
(May 19, 2006, fourfour,

Made-up citation: "I dated a chemistry teacher, but we had no chemistry. I dated a philosophy teacher who couldn't think. Then I went out with a gym teacher who shaved cats. Is that ironic, poignantistic, or just sad?"

Monday, October 29, 2007


noun. A doofus who is alive! Aiiiieeeeeeeeee!

Real citation: “Good thing I am pretty thick-skinned...when SDV called The Sage and myself 'Frankendoofus', I nearly peed my pants from laughter! Between SDV and his Canadian buddy Alex, I should have enough material to keep me going through the month of April.”
(April 1, 2007,

Made-up citation: "Was John Kerry ever called 'Frankendoofus'? I'm no historian. These aren't even my pants."


noun. A minion, underling, goon, or assistant with the gift of gab.

Real citation: “A spokeshenchman for the un-named evil genius said: “dropping bombs on these dingbats doesn’t work, so a death-ray from outer space would be a waste of time. We might as well twist their genes around until they start acting like humans rather than a sackful of civets on heat, then we can steal their oil and tax the beAllah out of the bastards”.”
(Nov. 19, 2003, Daily Diatribe,

Made-up citation: "Thank you for coming to our cult. My spokeshenchman will explain our plans to herd cats and re-eye the blind. Dings Dongs will be served."

Sunday, October 28, 2007


noun. Look deep into the eyes of a person with no balls or a pile of bird poop, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: “If I had said I was going to Santa Cruz, you would have given yourself credit for ‘changing my mind.’ Just a little more proof of your utter chickenshititude.”
(Eamon, April 22, 2003,

Made-up citation: "There's a lot of chickenshititude in my family. And a lot of love. And a lot of flat feet."


noun. A metric frakload. Or so.

Real citation: “No way dude thats mine!!! I'll give you a frakzillion dollars for it bebop!!”
(April 19, 2007, Newsarama,

Made-up citation: "My favorite restaurant--Heaven on Seven--makes shrimp a frakzillion different ways. That is why I love them. But they are closed on the weekend. That is why I hate them."

Thursday, October 25, 2007


noun. The ability to detect willies-causing creeptasticness, squickage, and barf-me-outitude.

Related terms: gaydar, straightdar, bi-dar, sexual-geniusdar, hickdar, loserdar, boob-dar, penis-dar, big dick-dar, hair-dar, porn-dar, sex-dar, food-dar, sleep-dar, money-dar, ho-dar, slut-dar, babe-dar, virgin-dar, jailbaitdar, hottie-dar, weirdo-dar, jerk-dar, moron-dar, dorkdar, skankdar, freak-dar, ass-dar, asshole-dar, Pretentious Club-going New York Assholedar, someone-is-staring-at-my-ass-dar, “Jesus Freak” dar, zombie-dar, fake-boob-dar, camel toe-dar, dogdar, catdar, ratdar.

Real citation: “I think he either knowingly, or by accident, was part of sending her on that flight. He was REALLY creepy I think. Maybe that is nothing, but I tend to listen to my creepydar when it starts to ping.”
(March 26, 2006,

Made-up citation: "My daughter will be raised with a honed creepydar and retractable, unbreakable claws, like Wolverine. And she'll have all the Barbies and cheeses she desires."


adv. and int. You expect me to define this? Please.

Real citation: “puh-puh-puh-puh-LEEZE be my friend!?!?!?”
(July 13, 2006,

Made-up citation: "The student said, 'Can I puh-puh-puh-puh-leeze squeeze my cheese?' The teacher replied, 'Yes, you may.'"


noun. That odor is not the sweet stench of freedom.

Real citation: "Also, it is not our business to judge the level of 'non-democraciness' of states, especially because 'freedom of press' is among major criteria to make this judgement."

Made-up citation: "Egypt is in a state of non-democraciness. So is Mother's basement."


noun. Someone slightly less loathsome than a dickheadbuttwad.

Real citation: “I am done talking to you, dickheadbutt…”
(Pietman, June 2, 2007, Keo-co-za,

Made-up citation: "In Canada, dickheadbutts are called hoserologists, according to the Department of Comparative Linguistics at a local university."

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

metric dumpload

noun. Dude, that is a LOT. 90 billion Courics!

Related terms: metric buttload, metric assload, metric arseload, metric heinie-load, metric bootyload, metric poop-load, metric poo-load, metric shitload, metric crapload, metric crudload, metric turdload, metric fuckload, metric boatload, metric truckload, metric smurfload, metric dickload, metric cockload, metric pantload, metric pantsload, metric jesus-load, metric monkeyload.

Real citation: “Get your metric dumpload of fabulousness here!”
(SortaSavageLike, June 23, 2006, The Ledge,

Made-up citation: "Words that should scare you: a metric dumpload of love."


adj. Having an indeterminate amount of manhood, or a questionable relationship to manhood, or a total lack of manhood.

Real citation: “But we DID have the ultimate holyday, FATHER'S DAY!!! Okay, to be honest it also was something religious based but everybody called it father's day because all fathers did something proletarian, stupid and manhoodish on this day, read: Get drunk, move to the bowling center using a small hand-held wagon full of booze and beer, go bowling, get the cart again and move to the next place where you can get even more drunk, etc. ... and all of that without any women EXCEPT for those that are going to get physical with you this day ... of course every person with balls participated, not just the real fathers!”
(Jan. 16, 2006, Your house my house,

Made-up citation: "My innards froth with testosterone. I belch machismo for breakfast. Don't make me perform a manhoodish display that would only disgrace our families."

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


noun. An expert in all things killy.

Real citation: “If you want a book that will alter your prospective even if you are a hard line assassinationologist or slightly skeptical about the assassination of J.F.K then this is for you.”
(Nov. 14, 2000,

Made-up citation: "I was faced with only two career options: assassinationologist and assassin. Frankly speaking, I am that much of an ass."


noun. A process that covers people, stuff, and woodland critters with the primal essence of the universe: goop.

Real citation: "I agree with everything said above, and I will add that the cap must be seated properly and firmly. I'd say that 90% of the goopification that occurs with paints is usually from that. If the cap is damaged in some way or the mating surface has paint on it then you end up with goop in the bottle. When I thin paints, I usually use the manufacturer's recommended agent. That is unless I am positive about a substitute."
(MortarMagnet, July 21, 2006,

Made-up citation: "My campaign stands for five principles: Unification. De-nastification. Goopification. Braindeadification. Pre-schmoopification."

Monday, October 22, 2007


adj. Mmmm....boob-tastic-osity. Boobophobes beware!

Real citation: “peekabooblicious
(May 20, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Once again, I apologize to all earnest web surfers who seek peekabooblicious delights. All I have to offer are words and letters. But did you realize that some letters have boobs? Ever look at a B closely? Ok, so the boobs are in the wrong position--but can you say you're in the alphabet?"


adj. Do I seem like a bigger blogger and a larger lexicographer and a meatier man if I admit I don't know what in the name of Jesus this word is talking about? Does it just mean "yummy"?

Related terms: breakiest-outiest, chill-outiest, cop-outiest, down-and-outiest, far-outiest, freak-outiest, freaking-outiest, hangy-outiest, knock-outiest, making-outiest, old-lady-kicking-outiest, self-outiest, selling-outiest, sellingest-outiest, shout-outiest, sticky-outiest, way-outiest, worn-outiest.

Real citation: “Yes, single estate. The absence of the multiplicity of estates was as mouthwatering as the colonial occupation of India. Maybe even more so. Sao Tomé, yo, you make a mean chocolate, my native people friends. Thanks for keeping it a single estate and thanks for keeping it real all these years. Your mousse is the lightest, the fluffiest, the dreamiest, the cloudspuniest, the whiffle-fluffer-blissed-outiest. The extent to which Africa knows chocolate blows this reviewer's mind.”
(Meridith Rohana, June 3, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I snuck a look at my doctor's chart. It read: avocado... whiffle-fluffer-blissed-outiest... insurgency... scrapbook... mollusk. Should I worry?"

Sunday, October 21, 2007


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noun. A sleazeball from the wrong end of the bell jar. Or is that the bell curve? I'm not exactly a sleaze surgeon myself.

Real citation: “Guess what? None of them wanted it. One sleazetard agreed to buy it and then later recanted, saying to me, ‘I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.’”
(Drew, Jan. 24, 2006,

Made-up citation: "'All men are either sleazetards or wankers,' said my mother. 'Then I shall be a wanktard,' I vowed that day."

Friday, October 19, 2007


noun. The little guy that's putting Massengill out of business.

Real citation: “That's Yoni, girlfriend,- -nano-douche-bot to the rescue...”
(Dec. 14, 2006, VideoSift,

Made-up citation: "I never thought I'd live to see the nano-douche-bot. Ms. Pacman is now my second-favorite ultra-cleansing electro-feminine product."


adj. White male.

Real citation: “In Which I Alienate My Bepenised-European-American Readers"
(May 8, 2006, Tiny Cat Pants,

Made-up citation: "As a Bepenised-European-American, I bid you a fond good morning, between bites of white bread and sips of delicious 2% milk."

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


noun. An adorable dog breed--part poodle, poodle, poodle, and cocker spaniel--with a name it will never, ever live down.

Related terms: poocockapoopoo, cockapoopoopoo.

Real citation: “Or a poopoopoocock, which sounds very dirty. LOL NT”
(Feb. 6, 2007, Animal House,

Made-up citation: "'Want to meet Mr. Wiggles, my poopoopoocock?' is not a pick-up line recommended by anybody."


noun. How "asshat" is translated in the technical journals.

Real citation: “Toadvision for 1.4 would suck. What's next, some buttocks-hat smacktard will make the wallhack for 1.4 too?”
(June 17, 2003, Vault Network,

Made-up citation: "On a scale of butthole to buttocks-hat, how dumb do you think I am?"

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


noun. Because "assface" just isn't enough in this day and age. Inflation, you know.

Related terms: wadface, fuckwadface.

Real citation: "The grapevine says McGrath's wanted for narcotics. Somehow I don't think he'd do well in prison. Happy St. Patty's Asswadface!"
(March 17, 2007,

Made-up citation: "My inner Costanza and inner asswadface frequently engage in steel cage slapfights. Why couldn't I have an inner Sean Connery and inner smurf?"


noun. Nutso-cuckoo-ism. Or bugfuck-loonball-ism. Little of both, really.

Related terms: batshit-crazyism.

Real citation: “6 More Months Of Batshitism
(July 20, 2006,

Made-up citation: "My family has a history of poor judgment, flat feet, and rabid batshitism. Our end of the gene pool is a kiddie pool filled with dog pee and elephant snot."

Jeebus H. Cripes on a pogo stick

exclamation. In standard English, this can be loosely translated as "Jesus H. Christ on a crosstown bus."

Related expressions: Jeebus H. Cripes on a cracker, Jeebus H. Cripes on a popsicle stick.

Real citation: “Jeebus H Cripes on a pogo stick. You drones are so clouded to reality it’s beyond amazing.”
(March 25, 2006, Apple Matters,

Made-up citation: "When the Bills pulled out a soul-crushing loss to the Cowboys a few weeks ago, I had three thoughts: 1) Jeebus H. Cripes on a pogo stick! 2) I'm glad I don't live in Buffalo anymore. 3) I wish I were a chicken wing and someone would eat me and then throw the bones to a rabid dog."


adj. Lacking all traditional bridal qualities, such as beauty, grace, and X-ray vision.

Real citation: “I don't like weddings, get weddings, or understand why gals plan them way in advance either. (When I get married, I plan on eloping. I like neither wedding dressers nor jewelry, and I don't even want an engagement ring---that's how un-bride-y I am.)”
(berrieh, Oct. 6, 2007, “2-1: "SeinfeldVision" 2007.10.04,” Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "Sweetheart, you're not un-bride-y. Stop saying that. You're going to make the bestest bride ever. Now hold still while I get the duct tape. OK, Phil?"

Monday, October 15, 2007


verb. To systematically remove an over-the-shoulder boulder-holder from a woman, mannequin, cybabe, or disturbing uncle.

Real citation: “I will reiterate and agree with Kat at the same time: Ladies, if you're a 36D, debraify. (or even if you're not)”
(June 27, 2006, Dave Barry’s Blog,

Made-up citation: "A woman can debraify herself in six seconds with one hand--even while wearing a shirt, sweater, and parka. Can your fancy iPhone do that?"


adj. 1) A British alternative to fanfuckingtasticlicious. 2) Better call a doctor/acquire a bucket.

Real citation: "I watched this bloody movie three times. Tonight will be the fourth. Fanbloodytasticlicious movie."
(kuching, Dec. 20, 2006,

Made-up citation: "To lower my cholesterol, I must avoid foods that are fatty, cheesy, fanbloodytasticlicious, and good. Stab me in the brain. Please?"

Sunday, October 14, 2007


adj. An abundance of crap heretofore unimagined by fecalologists, encompassing about a kabillion Courics.

Real citation: “Looking for a decidedly unofficial center of downtown? You could do worse than the small square called Liberty Plaza one block from the WTC site, a few blocks north of the still-wonderfully-seedy Lower Greenwich Street (go and you ll see what we mean), right on Broadway, just south of City Hall and (more usefully, since you can t fight the former) J & R Music World, and just west of the mucho-crapitudinous Nassau Street Shopping District.”

Made-up citation: "I'm glad I make you feel safe and tingly, Eliza. However, you make me feel mucho-crapitudinous and dizzy. Also, there's a rash."