non-fugly-blubber-wad

adj. Easy on the fugliness, heavy on the blubber, and waddy as all get out.

Real citation: "Nor, even, was the uptick the result of Holly Marie Combs's efforts, which waned as Combs the actress took a backseat to Combs the mother of an actual, honest-to-God non-dead-eyed non-bemulleted non-fugly-blubber-wad infant of her own."
(Demian, "TWoP Staff Round-Up," page 6, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=56&story=8159&page=6&sort=&limit=)

Made-up citation: "I'm a non-schmuckish, non-gigantamundo, non-penis-centric, non-lame-oid, non-surgical-glove-clad, non-fugly-blubber-wad guidance counselor. I love sushi, a sense of humor, puggles, money, Rocky IV, and smoking crack till I oscillate like a broken grandfather clock."