Wednesday, March 31, 2010


adj. Quasi-soon-y.

Real citation: "Working on Tumblr setup right now. Will update soon-ish-esque."
(Feb. 9, 2010,
Brett Sandusky, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Movie title first draft: Apocalypse Soon-ish-esque."

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


noun. Much more delicious than a lava-ologist.

Real citation: "i am a frappachino-ologist.. best frappachino from starbucks is green tea with skim milk and 2 shots of rasp.. i know I am a genius"
(March 17, 2010, Lauren Mann, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I think I would make a good frappachino-ologist or bounty hunter. It's a shame I was forced to go into the family business and become a luchador."

Monday, March 29, 2010


noun. A body type characterized by rigidity and awesomeness and hardly any mashed potato-like consistency.

Real citation: "'Dancers have different body types from footballers,' says Nicki de Leon, consultant physiotherapist with the British company Random Dance, who also treats pro footballers. 'They are usually ectomorphs — tall, willowy, thin. They don’t increase muscle bulk easily, but tend to be hypermobile, with too much movement at each joint. Whether hypermobile people are good dancers, or dancing makes them hypermobile, nobody knows.' Footballers are often hardbastardomorphs — although de Leon uses the technical term, mesomorph — characterised by an athletic body that builds muscle easily."
(March 21, 2010, Paul Croughton, Times Online,

Made-up citation: "I'm trying to become a hardbastardomorph after years of being a softninnyomorph."

Friday, March 26, 2010


adj. Prejudiced against our Cylon brothers, sisters, and toasters.

Real citation: "If you are weirdly and obsessively Cylonophobic, you could be a closeted Cylon. Look at Colonel Tigh. He’s all about Cylon bashing and the so called 'Cylon agenda'. Doesn’t he seem like he’s probably a Cylon himself? He has that look about him. You know what I’m talking about."
(March 29, 2007, St. George Blog,

Made-up citation: "I am not Cylonophobic and never have been. If Lucy Lawless removes the restraining order, I'll prove it."

Thursday, March 25, 2010


noun. New name for a sex toy?

Real citation: "Just love the gasm-thingy ;p RT @safitarn: I feel sexy after exercising.. All this sweat, this natural blush.. Sport-gasm"
(Jan. 9, 2010, Windra Bakrie, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Don't bogart the gasm-thingy! You're really getting on my nerves, Aunt Petunia."

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


verb. An aha-y process, often accompanied by a "doh".

Real citation: "Thought I'd share it here: Last night, I got epiphany-ified. I want to do Lykonian Saga as a webcomic. Something that doesn't require--"
(Feb. 15, 2010, Malunis, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "My life has two distinct periods: pre-epiphany and epiphany-ified. I'm so much happier since I realized I was meant to have sex with orcs."

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


noun. Sometimes the world ends with a whimper, but usually it's with a glop.

Real citation: "It's not exactly snow here, not exactly rain. More like cold, wet glop. Glop-pocalypse??"
(March 20, 2010, featherchick, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I'm ready for the glop-pocalypse. Full-body condom, activated!"

Monday, March 22, 2010

ad peeseum

adv. Like ad nauseam, but number-one-ier.

Real citation: "Dog: sniff spot, pee on spot, sniff own pee, pee on pee, continue ad peeseum."
(March 19, 2010, ChiNurse, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Blah blah ad peeseum is bad; yada yada ad pooseum is worse."

Sunday, March 21, 2010


adj. Well, it is Sunday, isn't it?

Real citation: "#putGodfirst going to church-omatic."
(Feb. 21, 2010,
Jose Orduna, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Using automatic weapons in a church-omatic setting is seriously no-good-omatic, according to the Bible."

Saturday, March 20, 2010


adj. A far better life than "giant-spitting-earthworm-having".

Real citation: "settling into this new doglet-having life. she's really, really cute, soft, sweet, edible! oh, wait, not the last one."
(Feb. 28, 2010, writeanya, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I like being a doglet-having dude. It's worth a little pee on the couch. Hey, if I exiled folks for peeing off the grid, we'd never be able to invite your mom back."

Friday, March 19, 2010


noun. A tremendous quality in a cookie. Or a butler, if you eat your butlers.

Real citation: " - Cookie-tastic-ness."
(Feb. 6, 2010, Jill, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I can't get enough cookie-tastic-ness. Ever since I was a lad, I quite preferred it to ball-of-dung-itude."

Thursday, March 18, 2010


noun. A surgery that could be simple or precarious, depending on where the interstellar noggin hatched.

Real citation: "surgery went completed alien-head-ectomy! Jme"
(Feb. 5, 2010, Jamie Elias, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "As long as my annual alien-head-ectomy is covered by Obama's health plan, I'll be happy--and loyal to planet earth."

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


noun. or adj. This describes either an important person or one of the factions on Lost. I'd say more, but a polar bear just ate me.

Real citation: "@Fox4649 clock just gave me a headache. thanks. lost lost lost lost lost! Sawyer is the new anti-ANTI-Jacob. Yesss!"
(Feb. 16, 2010, Debi Norton, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "When watching Lost, I am completely in the anti-anti-Jacob camp. Also, I have been sent by the Dharma Initiative to marry Lucy Lawless. I don't argue with destiny."

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


noun. I just call it "Buffalo, NY" or "home" or "why I hate myself".

Real citation: "snow-pocalypse-icane-mageddon."
(Feb. 26, 2010,
Julie Schneider, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "There's only one way to survive a snow-pocalypse-icane-mageddon: constant sex. If you don't believe me, ask your mom. She's a real survivalist."

Monday, March 15, 2010


verb. The process of removing all meadow muffin material from a mushroom, shoe, or loved one.

Real citation: "Thank God for the time change! My family depends on the extra hours our kids spend in the fields, nuturing cannabis & de-cowpatting shrooms."
(March 12, 2010, Kat, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Well, I spent another day de-cowpatting the gazebo... I think it's almost ready for the human sacrifice."

Sunday, March 14, 2010


adj. Sounds kinda bunny-y to me.

Real citation: "Took Two Career Tests Today, They Said: Fighter Plot And Murder Trial Attorney. Really? These Are Too Un-World-Domination-istic For Me."
(Feb. 16, 2010, Alex Carey, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I've always been an un-world-domination-istic fellow, but now I have these nukes. Things are looking up for old Liz Lemon!"

Saturday, March 13, 2010


noun. I don't know what this is, but it sounds delicious.

Real citation: "@Wordie re: shrimpoluminescence, can we also say 'squidoluminescence'?"
(March 10, 2010,
Jeremy K, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I liked District 9. The squidoluminescence of those prawns really got to me. Or do I mean
shrimpoluminescence? Man, I'd be a lousy luminescence-ologist."

Friday, March 12, 2010


noun. A quality found in just about everybody--except that guy.

Real citation: "Student receptionists are less-helpful versions of old lady receptionists w/ the added bonus of having an ugh-why-am-I-here?-F-MY-LIFE-itude"
(Nov. 13, 2009, Adam Tamez, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "When things go wrong, and my soul loses its floaties, drowning in a sea of ugh-why-am-I-here?-F-MY-LIFE-itude, I know what to do: Unfortunately, I can't divulge such information. Not without a cash deposit or signed picture of Christina Hendricks."

Thursday, March 11, 2010


noun. The only despicable quality I cannot ascribe to your mom (so far).

Real citation: "@theJosephDrug Mwahaha. Now i dont feel soo alone anymore. You understand my manwhore-iness."
(Feb. 18, 2010, Nick Jonas, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Elves love me for my manwhore-iness. Smurfs hate me for it. So that evens out."

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


noun. If not for this process, I think Beyonce would be dating me.

Real citation: "I've heard the word 'swagger' used to mean 'business pressence' three times today. This is the Jay-Z-ification of America."
(Feb. 23, 2010,
Mitchell Morrison, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Every time I initiate the Jay-Z-ification of my life, I end up setting off the Pee-wee-Herman-ifier. Blurgh."

Tuesday, March 09, 2010


noun. A real word-thief-arino.

Real citation: "Howdy Tweeter-diddly-eeter-inos, I'm pissed at Nick simmons, for being a plagarize-iddly-izer."
(March 3, 2010,
Jonathan Jamieson, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "A writing class without plagiarize-iddly-izers is like a spring day without a great dane peeing in your ear."

Monday, March 08, 2010


adj. In grad school, we just said problematic. But we were awful little frakwads, so what did we know?

Real citation: "Just saw 'solutionist-oriented' in a brand agency's Google copy. This is problemist-oriented."
(March 8, 2010, Nancy Friedman, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "My problem is I'm too problemist-oriented. I'm positive the volcano will explode, and I start drinking lava just in case."


adj. Swaddling isn't just for infants, you know.

Real citation: "To test the idea that horns help females compete more effectively, the researchers bred beetles in the lab and counted their offspring under a variety of circumstances. When females of different sizes had to compete for dung, the larger ones flourished while smaller ones produced very few dung-swaddled eggs. And when researchers paired females of about the same body size, those with proportionately heftier horns had more offspring."
(March 2, 2010, Susan Milius, "Rise of female weaponry driven by poop fights," Science Daily,

Made-up citation: "Do you prefer dung-swaddled bacon or bacon-swaddled dung? (Market research)."

Sunday, March 07, 2010


adj. Ahhhhh... Ohhhhhh.... Excuse me, could I get some privacy here?

Real citation: "Tempur-Pedic mattresses, while comfort-gasmic to lie on, would terrible for all activities sexual."
(Feb. 17, 2010,
Edward Langstone, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "If the prisoners say your dungeon is comfort-gasmic, it might be time to renovate."

Saturday, March 06, 2010


noun. The date of birth for most food babies.

Real citation: "Anybody want a pair of tickets to @dannymichel at Jane Bond tomorrow? Don't think we'll be up to going, post gastro-pocalypse, unfortunately"
(Feb. 13, 2010, Annie Bee, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I wouldn't be much help in a post-gastro-pocalypse world--unless I bazooka-barfed the pain away. Then, anything is possible."

Friday, March 05, 2010


noun. If you think improperly used semi-colons don't hurt anyone, try sticking one straight up your wang.

Real citation: "@DrObvious Tweet fighting would entail somethings called 'nimble finger tactics' and 'punctu-gression', I imagine. I really could be wrong."
(Feb. 14, 2010, Bree Hartwig, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I have a real tendency toward punctu-gression. I once killed a man with only three commas and an em dash. And that man had a family!"

Thursday, March 04, 2010


verb. It happened after Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider and Gilligan was sodomized by a medium-rare fish (the real origin of Aquaman).

Real citation: "Montana costume being super-hero-ified this very minute :)"
(Feb. 19, 2010, Hannah Livingstone, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Well, it's my birthday. Is it too much to ask that I be super-hero-ified too? Where's the radioactive petting zoo?"

Wednesday, March 03, 2010


adj. Haven't I defined this word before?

Real citation: "processing panos again, this feels kind of deja-vu-istic."
(Feb. 13, 2010, Hil Long, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "This is a deja-vu-istic day... These new hostages seem very familiar..."

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Hayden Panetiwhateverthefuckhernameis

noun. I know she's a babe. That's about it. I knew I should have finished my degree in babe-ology.

Real citation: "The loathing that Emily has for Hayden Panetiwhateverthefuckhernameis is only rivaled by the hate I've seen professed against KStew"
(Feb. 22, 2010,
Kristen Nicole, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I would ask Hayden Panetiwhateverthefuckhernameis to marry me, but I don't want to bring children into the world with the name Panetiwhateverthefuckhernameis-Peters. That's really the only thing stopping me."

Monday, March 01, 2010


noun. A part of the brain that takes up a lot of real estate in my cerebellumajig.

Real citation: "#masterchef has just going and the plate-of-food-ometer is already registering several points!"
(Feb. 18, 2010, Jess Thomas, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "My plate-of-food-ometer is going bananas! Where are you hiding the platter of bacon? Tell me and I'll give you those children back."