Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Boy Scout-edness

noun. A quality found in precious few supervillains, sewer rats, or Girl Scouts.

Real citation: "Vacations, money, guilt and Boy Scout-edness
So the annual vacation is approaching fast and furious. This time in two weeks we'll be sitting in Newark airport waiting for a flight to Shannon, Ireland."
(Dec. 30, 2008, Kinderpunk Musings, http://maladrin.blogspot.com/2008/12/vacations-money-guilt-and-boy-scout.html)

Made-up citations: "For a death cult, I think our organization has plenty of Boy Scout-edness. We are always prepared, and we make the tightest knots in town. The uniforms are also nifty."

Monday, March 30, 2009


adv. When the buttmunches inherit the earth, this word will be popular. Wait, that already happened? Never mind.

Real citation: "This guy is hilarious!!! I'm so happy I have him. His class will be buttmunchily hard but I'm hoping his humor will ease the pain."
(Aug. 6, 2008, Listen to the Beat, http://welcometocorruption.blogspot.com/2006_08_06_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "A ballet dancer who buttmunchily bounces and bobbles is a buffoon, according to the handbook."


adj. Like bepancaked, but that's toilet water, not maple syrup, bucko.

Real citation: "vegans are impossible to take seriously
they do not eat enough meat so their arguments are all puny and easily beswirlied"
(Jan. 17, 2009, Fur Affinity Forums, http://forums.furaffinity.net/showthread.php?t=34991&page=3)

Made-up citation: "According to my doctor, only morbidly beswirlied people are at risk for post-traumatic swirly disorder. Man, I need a new doctor."

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Vic Mackey-esque

adj. This is the way I do everything, from shooting coworkers in the face to baking cupcakes.

Real citation: Vic Mackey-ish, Vic Mackey-ness.

Real citation: "There's exactly one dancer jittering to 'Kickstart My Heart,' and exactly one dude in attendance, sitting on a folding chair so far from the stage that we have to walk in between them to hit the bathroom. Turns out, Mons (and every other strip club in Tampa) had been violating the 'no dancing within six feet of the patrons' rule for, oh, EVER, and they just happened to decide to enforce it on this particular night, setting up a Vic Mackey-esque raid on every adult establishment in the entire county. The only upside was that the bust went down while we were in transit, so we weren't hauled away like the rest of the pathetic cubicle-dwellers. Still, the night ended at a Hooters with a bad taste in our mouths...and not the good kind of bad, either. Thanks ever so much, Tampa PD. Jackholes."
(Oct. 21, 2008, Deadspin, http://deadspin.com/5066606/no-more-cowbell-the-wretchedness-of-tampa-bays-fledgling-fanbase)

Made-up citation: "Is this the temp agency? Please send me the most Vic Mackey-esque nun you got. We are having issues."

Saturday, March 28, 2009


noun. Henchfolk of various genders, as mandated by the evil-minion equal-rights act of 1995.

Real citation: "Our new Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, and hench-lady-men-partners Shiela Bair of FDIC, and Benny (Chopper Ben) Bernanke, Federal Reserve Chairman are scrambling to overcome nasty TARP I press as bankers get more than a free ride."
(Feb. 16, 2009, Christian Financial Radio Network, http://cfrnpod.blogspot.com/2009/02/prosperity-for-gods-people-emini_16.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm hiring new hench-lady-men-partners... I need lackeys who can swing a mop, shave a squirrel, eat a planet, and put brains in jars--gently, people!--all before lunch, when we will dine on the hopes and dreams of innocent people. Yum."

Friday, March 27, 2009

sudden onset Stevie Nicks syndrome

noun phrase. A serious disability that may be accompanied by Lindsey Buckingham.

Real citation: "Do I hear a tambourine? Watch out for Sudden Onset Stevie Nicks Syndrome."
(March 29, 2007, I Blame the Patriarchy, http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/03/29/patriarchy-blamer-makes-straw-secondwaver-joke/)

Made-up citation: "What disease is known as The Silent Killer? Hint: It's not sudden onset Stevie Nicks syndrome or yodeling fever."


noun. The kind of shenanigans that probably involve a utility belt and some spandex.

Real citation: "Mamma Mia! continues to make my roommate sing ABBA songs (thanks for that, by the way) as it had a low decline in it's second week. In all the craziness with last week's bat-nannigans, it should be noted that Mamma Mia! has the biggest opening for a musical. (Non-animated, I believe). I don't know, they made up some record last week to make the movie feel better about itself for opening up against Batman."
(July 27, 2008, There's Always Mini-golf, http://formerdudespeak.blogspot.com/2008/07/box-office-report-bat-attack-week-2.html)

Made-up citation: "The neighbors have been whining about my bat-nanigans again... But the fight against evil is noisy! And squishy! And so delicious."

Thursday, March 26, 2009


noun. A film genre that ranks somewhere behind porn and the adventures of lint in popularity.

Real citation: "I don’t know what to call this other than Amish-sploitation. On the full infomercial, there are even more references to the brilliant craftsmanship of the Amish, including a testimonial from one satisfied customer who bought it because he knows 'the Amish make great products.' The whole thing is hilarious on too many levels."
(Feb. 9, 2009, Bread & Magic, http://benfrancisco.net/2009/02/09/amish-sploitation/)

Made-up citation: "Oh, ye Amish-sploitation directors! When will you abandon your turpitude? Your films really churn my butter, and not in a sexy way."

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

blah blah-ologist

noun. A smart specialist in zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Real citation: "blah blah-ologist
It interests me nearly that van gogh could know the potato eaters for a masterpiece. (because everything i hear, see, read, taste, smell or touch--everything i experience, in fact, except for pain--gets processed through me at an alarming rate--i'm not bragging; it is alarming; i continuously have to go back for obscure pieces of my comprehensions that i didn't realize i'd absorbed in order to get to where i've got, consequentially my ratiocination is not so much full of holes as just soaked, you know? jumbled? doing something quickly doesn't entail doing it well. anyway, because of this, finding out about van gogh means something to me, and i recognize that it's something not necessarily intrinsic to van gogh. like janie with her meshes, i'm checking it out.)
(June 18, 2007, Water in the Fields, http://waterinthefields.blogspot.com/2007/06/blah-blah-ologist.html)

Made-up citation: "It's not easy to become a blah blah-ologist. It takes years of whatever, a summer of something-or-other, more than one yada yada, and a daily regimen of frequent foozie-whatsits."

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


adj. Sounds nerdy to me, but what do I know? I'm too busy writing fan fiction about wookies who fall in love with Cylons. They make the sweetest, hairiest toaster-babies...

Real citation: "As I thought about this again, there was another one that stood out in my mind -- now I'm sure there's a billion -- but this one is super-fantastic-nerdcore-tacular."
(Sept. 24, 2008, Livejournal, http://tenel-ka.livejournal.com/tag/boys+are+icky+love)

Made-up citation: "It sure wasn't perfect, but I did have a super-fantastic-nerdcore-tacular reaction to the BSG finale... I just hope I can get a network interested in my spinoff. It will be set in a distant time--could be the past, could be the future--when spaceships have eliminated all humans and Cylons. The spaceships hate each other and fight every week. This should appeal to viewers who are weary of pointless dialogue and actors, plus the spaceships can team up to destroy planets during sweeps."

Monday, March 23, 2009


noun. An important new weapon in the war on amoebas.

Real citation: nano-destructo-mat.

Real citation: "What made no sense... why is Brainiac so hot for Amazo's Body, if it can be destroyed easily with the nano destructo gun???"
(July 10, 2005, "Justice League," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=2615400&view=findpost&p=3218743)

Made-up citation: "Is that your nano-destructo-gun or are you just unhappy to see me?"

Sunday, March 22, 2009


adj. Not the way I want my pants or plates to be.

Related terms: poo-ridden, poop-ridden, poopoo-ridden.

Real citation: "I plunked him in the tub fully dressed and wrenched the hot and cold faucets around to their limits until water belched its way out at high velocity. As the water jetted into the tub and as Cougar endeavored to drown our bathroom by sticking his finger beneath the faucet and spraying the walls, myself included, I proceeded to peel off the poopy-ridden onesie that was now beginning to smell like my little brown and squishy 'cracker'."
(July 25, 2008, Clint and Lissy Bell, http://clintlisbell.blogspot.com/2008/07/crackers.html)

Made-up citation: "What is this poopy-ridden poppycock? I prefer titillating twaddle. That's just how I was raised."

Saturday, March 21, 2009


noun. A career path I hope to follow, if you replace "domestic terrorist" with "language columnist" and "housewife" with "Playgirl Playdude of the Year".

Real citation: "Jon Opsahl said he doesn't think domestic-terrorist-turned-housewife Sara Jane Olson served nearly enough time for his mother's murder, but he'll be relieved when the saga is over Tuesday."
(March 17, 2009, Eliott C. McLaughlin, CNN.com, http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/03/17/olson.release/)

Made-up citation: "Every girl I date turns out to be a domestic-terrorist-turned-housewife... Where can a fella find a nice nun or nurse these days, besides nunneries and hospitals, where love-loitering is prohibited?"

Friday, March 20, 2009


adj. Lacking all banjosity.

Real citation: "Here's a video from a recent show we did. It's a 'non-banjo-istic' song but thought I'd share it with ya"
(Feb 23, 2009, Banjo Hangout, http://www.banjohangout.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=140860)

Made-up citation: "Of all the non-banjo-istic movies, Deliverance is not one. That is all the banjology I know."

Thursday, March 19, 2009

someone-crapped-in-my-cereal face

noun phrase. Remarkably similar to the dreaded someone-yoinked-in-my-salad face.

Real citation: "Per usual, Kate had her someone-crapped-in-my-cereal face all show long. I don't trust her and her eternal mopiness at all."
(March 18, 2009, "5-9: "Namaste" 2009.03.18," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3183339&view=findpost&p=11505375)

Made-up citation: "I hate posing for sexy photos, a task I must endure often, because of my fame. Half my sexy pouts look like a someone-crapped-in-my-cereal face, and the other half scare woodland critters, who comprise over half my fan base."


adj. May not arise from saintly and pure motivations that benefit lost orphans and wayward bunnies.

Real citation: "GRINDHOUSE - exploitation-tastic-ish"
(April 13, 2007, Movie Reviews For Greedy Capitalist Bastards, http://bina007.blogspot.com/2007/04/grindhouse-exploitation-tastic-ish.html)

Made-up citation: "I would be an excellent exploitation-tastic-ish film-maker... I'd start with gore, add some boobs, and top it off with serial killers, killer fembots, female zombies, and zombie babies. I'd also make a good farmer."

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


noun. Celebusperm.

Real citation: "The other night I was at Barney's Beanery where I met Kathy Lee and Frank Gifford's son, Cody Gifford. The celebu-spawn wedged his digits into the back of my control top panty hoes. At first I didn't notice—I just thought it was the crinkling of my trusty Depends. The devil inside me says, 'Let this little bastard impregnate you so you can siphon cash from his obnoxious celebrity dynasty.' But the other, pure side says, 'Leave the little nugget alone, he's only 18, and he's got several seasons of Celebrity Rehab in his future.' Fugly, the bank is about to foreclose on my house, should I receive his celebu-seed?"
(March 12, 2009, Points in Case, http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/fugly-slut/sperminated-santa-monica)

Made-up citation: "In LA, there are more options than whole, skim, 2%, and soy milk at Starbucks. For just one extra buck, you can get your chai tea made with pure, precious, pristine celebu-seed that may or may not represent the future reproductive success of Ben Stiller."


noun. 1. An arch-bishop. 2. A nutjob above other nutjobs, for nutjobby reasons I prefer not to discuss.

Real citation: "Arch-nutjob being nutty again."
(Feb. 7, 2008, The Julie Blog, http://julianstirling.co.uk/2008/02/arch-nutjob-being-nutty-again.html)

Made-up citation: "Someday I'll make it to arch-nutjob... I don't care if I have to spend 20 years as a wacky arch-altar boy to get there!"

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


noun. Well, we think it's a dog... It's moderately poodle-y. Still, I'm not ruling out "polar bear/lizard crossbreed".

Related term: Australian schnauzer-doodle-whatever-poo.

Real citation: "and of course ppl can be stupid, and buy into this fad. i just hate that these ppl don't even care that they are getting scammed. they will defend their precious whatever-doodle-mutt to the very end. it's sick."
(2008, Yahoo Answers, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080228111149AAsWg86)

Made-up citations: "My dog loooooooves whatever-doodle-mutts. He likes 'em white and fluffy; he likes 'em almost as much as turtles like shoes."


noun. A true cluster-naughty word, I reckon, though naughtier.

Real citation: "I thought long and hard about how best to deal with winning playoff games, or not making the playoffs due to tie-breakers, or weighting wins deeper in the playoffs, and how to assign a point value for a first round bye versus the value for the actual win to face that team with a bye, and how I was ever going to get to the end of this sentence, and I finally gave up. The playoff structure has changed from the championship going to the team with the best record, then to a game with just the two division winners (with play-in games for ties), and all the way up to our current 12-team 11-game formula, not even mentioning the cluster-nookie that was the 1982 strike season."
(May 11, 2004, Mark Hutson, Football Outsiders, http://www.footballoutsiders.com/ramblings/2004/guest-column-and-loser)

Made-up citation: "I like when things are orderly and clean, with lots of napkins available. Cluster-nookies make me nervous, though the nookie part is rather relaxing, so I guess I have mixed feelings on this subject."

Monday, March 16, 2009


noun. The perfect word when the buttmunches in your life have taken it up (or down) a notch.

Real citation: "HAH! YOU LOOOOOOOSE!!!! tara is trying to say what i am typing before i actually type it, and i must go insult her, by calling her a.......a....(not a butt, as she just said)...a.....SPATULA!!! HAH! SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT!!!fine, since marinna said that spatualas are cool, i will call her a pair of TONGS!!!! THERE I SAID IT
in conclusion, vivian is a very big, enormous, gargantuan, huge, not liliputian,collosal, biggie size, GIRLY BUTTMUNCH WAD!!!!!"
(July 6, 2005, Live From Procrastination HQ, http://clairerulesall.blogspot.com/2005/07/vivian_06.html)

Made-up citation: "My peers call me buttmunch-wad, but they can't get me down... In my heart of hearts, and on my popular blog, I am known as Professor Buttmunch, esquire."


adj. Meerkats are everywhere! I mean, Cylons!

Real citation: "Yes it does. In which case I believe we are both in danger of becoming increasingly Cylonitudinous."
(April 15, 2008, Livejournal, http://dionusia.livejournal.com/27076.html)

Made-up citation: "As I wait for the series finale of Battlestar Galactica, it is going to be a Cylonitudinous week, the most Cylonistic week since I nuked that one planet back in college. Hey, I was young..."

Sunday, March 15, 2009


noun. Uh-oh... I see pee-pee in the teepee.

Real citation: "Teachers who make you ask to go to the bathroom, or worse, deny it. Like the fourth grade bladder-splosion that I drew earlier, or that rear end in a top hat in high school who ranted for five minutes about "GOD, What are you, twelve? Have you NO CONTROL over your bladder?" every time someone asked. I could see how this would be a problem for the female students, who were the most common ones to ask, and who had reasons other than a full bladder to visit the ladies room."
(Sept. 13, 2007, The Something Awful Forums, http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2980244)

Made-up citation: "I have the remarkable ability to lie in bed, half-zonked, on the verge of a code-four bladder-splosion that could end the draught in the American southwest and/or drown a cat. Someday, God willing, the whole world will know me as the Michael Phelps of holding it, minus the bong."

Saturday, March 14, 2009


noun. A ghost oil salesman. Boooooooooooo!

Real citation: "I'm with you on the other things you mentioned, and having read Randi's Flim-Flam I have a pretty good idea how to test dowsers and such.
But how do you test a medium?
I don't mean exposing phoney-baloney ectoplasm mongers, I mean how can one confirm whether someone is talking to the dead?
It doesn't seem possible.
Has Randi ever tested such a claim? If so, how?"
(April 22, 2004, JREF Forum, http://forums.randi.org/archive/index.php/t-21897.html)

Made-up citation: "In addition to saving fires and fighting orphans, I'm an ectoplasm-monger for the state of Illinois. Let me tell you, if you think Blago is corrupt, you should meet some of these apparitions!"

Friday, March 13, 2009


noun. A useful thingamawacker, especially when trying to scrub, massage, or exfoliate those hard-to-reach spots.

Real citation: "Miss Paddywacker, the 'Prostate Patoodler' please."
(Jan. 18, 2004, Berkeley Breathed, Opus, http://www.cartoonistgroup.com/store/add.php?iid=8938)

Made-up citation: "A good surgeon can save a man's life with nothing more advanced than a prayer, a patoodler, and a pineapple. I learned medicine in a different era--the golden age!--a distant time when men were men and medical schools were afraid of men with power sanders."


verb. Roughly equivalent to "de-Jesus-fy," but with more of a God complex involved.

Real citation: "* 'Shopgirl'--very weird, self-absorbed Steve Martin (he wrote and stars) chick flick. No this is not THE Steve Martin as 'The Jerk.' It's the feminized Steve Martin as the Lifetime Network's version of 'EVERY MAN is a jerk.' Overly melodramatic time-waster. Again, weird.
* 'Nine Lives'--horrid; so weird, it's bizarre. Vignettes on 9 PMSed, interconnected women and their lives. Need I say more. Okay, Glenn Close. There, I said more. Do you really need to see a deaf man having sex with his middle-aged first wife at his second wife's funeral?! 'Nuff said. This movie belongs on the Oxygen Channel. Or better yet, the waste bin.
Skip both to save valuable hours of life you will regret having wasted. De-Oprah-fy your movie-going experience."
(Nov. 4, 2005, Debbie Schlussel, http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2005/11/guys_2_chick_fl.html)

Made-up citation: "What's the quickest way to de-Oprah-fy the bathroom? I tried engaging my bathtub (and everything growing in it) with honest, open communication and an upbeat attitude, but the damn thing is still terrifying, frankly. Sweet merciful Oprah! I don't know what to try next. (Exorcism?)"

Thursday, March 12, 2009


noun. The Necronomicon, that classic source of marauding, unholy evil and spring fashion tips.

Real citation: "How would you respond if someone made you a similar offer? Would you be willing to sincerely invite Allah to have coffee with you while you read the Koran? Or the Mormon god while you read the book of Mormon? Or Satan while you read the necro-whatsit?"
(Jan 21, 2007, Freethought and Rationalism Discussion Board, http://www.freeratio.org/showthread.php?t=193234&page=4)

Made-up citation: "Honey, could you hand me my necro-whatsit? I think I left it in the baby's crib. Um, he's not old enough to read it aloud in a hushed voice, is he? NOOOOOOOOOOO! This was a bad week to stop hoarding holy water and suitcase nukes."

Top Gun-itis

noun. A specific condition that I can respect. I still haven't gotten over One Hour Photo-itis myself.

Real citation: "My Top Gun-itis - I don’t even like “Top Gun” that much, but no matter what, whenever it is on, I watch it. Why? What makes me do this? You know that the part where Val Kilmer bites the air in front of Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell’s face…what is that!?"
(Feb. 2, 2009, Kevin H. MacLean, Primer, http://www.primermagazine.com/2009/live/22-things-viagra-still-hasnt-cured)

Made-up citation: "I don't know what to tell you about Top Gun-itis, but if you have post-traumatic Tom Cruise disorder, Tropic Thunder is the cure. He had me at 'hobo's dick cheese'."

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


adj. Similar to "unladylike," but the lovely lady was replaced with a moronic financial news network. (No offense intended to Erin Burnett, my new girlfriend in my brain).

Real citation: "By now, I have noticed that I speak a different language than the people on this channel. Or maybe I'm just not as smart as they are. 'I've decided that flat is the new up,' declares one talking head. 'If they can't get their heads together, there's no way we're going to get meat on the bone,' warns another. Their braying seems to mean something to their target audience, but not to me. Even most-esteemed sage Warren Buffett wasn't immune. He spoke in an un-CNBC-like volume, but said things like, 'It's a lot better to have a goose that keeps laying eggs than a goose that just sits there and eats insurance.' Now, that is easy to understand, and probably true. Plus, can you imagine how gross that pâté would taste?"
(March 11, 2009, Gabriel Winant, Salon, http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2009/03/11/cnbc/)

Made-up citation: "My dog is very un-CNBC-like. He rarely barks, and his financial advice is consistently sound. Also, he is content to poop without throwing the poop at hapless bystanders."

catastrophic boob tape failure

noun phrase. A hazard of being a model or dentist. Oh, you didn't know dentists used boob tape? Well, sometimes you run out of floss...

Real citation: "Mr. President, I travel with a LeCroix shopping bag full of Blackberries and cell phones for the express purpose of beaning cheeky ass-hats between the eyes. Let's get back to the interview. Imagine for a moment you're being wedged into a Vivian Westwood hobble skirt and just before it's your turn to slink down the runway you experience catastrophic boob tape failure."
(Jan. 7, 2008, Can O' Whup-Ass, http://canofwhupass.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/01/campbell-chats.html)

Made-up citation: "I will support any charity dedicated to wiping out catastrophic boob tape failure. Any ol' humanitarian can oppose AIDS and cancer, but it takes a special humanitarian to reach out to cleavage and give that cleavage some fresh, powerful, double-sided tape."

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


adj. How-to-please-your-man-and-remove-stubborn-stains-and-lose-10-pounds-and-bake-a-pie-ish.

Real citation: "Go buy yourself something pretty, wrap it up, and put it under the tree/menorah. Yes, that sounds really lame and women's-magazine-y, but so what? At least it'll fit, and it won't be crafted from manmade fibers."
(Judy McGuire, Nov. 26, 2008, Seattle Weekly, http://www.seattleweekly.com/2008-11-26/diversions/thank-you/)

Made-up citation: "I wish I could think of some women's-magazine-y topics to write about, but I'm stumped. Do you think Cosmo would take a piece on organ harvesting, and like, how it can tone your abs?"


adj. Prophesy-tastic.

Real citation: "Get all Nostradamus-esque-ish by exercising your powers of Portland prognostication"
(Dec. 18, 2008, Silicon Florist, http://siliconflorist.com/2008/12/18/get-all-nostradamus-esque-ish-by-exercising-your-powers-of-portland-prognostication/)

Made-up citation: "Would it be too Nostradamus-esque-ish of me if I said there will be a great catastrophe on a golden river in a doomed land where squirrels chase dogs and bananas eat monkeys? Or will you just give me the $3.50 right now?"

Monday, March 09, 2009


noun. He/she is talking, but there is no brain! Someone replaced the delicious membranes with delicious apple sauce.

Real citation: "Or is she the spokes-dumbass for the horrifyingly ignorant? As her ridiculous positions and her trollish behavior both qualify."
(Sept. 19, 2008, We Beg to Differ, http://www.webegtodiffer.com/showthread.php?t=45767&page=5)

Made-up citation: "I think I would be a terrific spokes-dumbass, 'cause I talk real good. I'd also make a fine Pope. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always felt a little papal, even when organ harvesting."


noun. All the barbers in Belfast might not be enough to make this one OK.

Real citation: "Hair-ocaust!
Who's up for another food thing sometime this month / hair making / sewing party?"
(Sept. 10, 2008, Livejournal, http://neonfushiastarr.livejournal.com/8330.html)

Made-up citation: "What can stave off a hairocaust? Gel, holy water, scrunchies, flamethrowers? Why did I major in aeronautical science instead of hairology? I didn't think ahead."

Sunday, March 08, 2009

genocidal much-better-now-thankiacs

noun phrase. Decent folks--good country people!--who don't wipe out humanity anymore. They wouldn't think of it.

Real citation: "But without the offer Adama would never have considered allowing the genocidal maniacs, sorry, genocidal much-better-now-thankiacs, to join the fleet in the first palce. Tag along, sure, the baseship is no match for the Galactica, but it isn't like the technology offer was created to make it more reasonable for him to think of accepting them fully IMO, as he was never planning to offer them acceptance, it isn't like he was contemplating it and the Cylons agreed to the technology gift in return. The acceptance was part of their terms, not his desire. For all we know he may hate the idea but thinks the benefits are too good to pass up."
(Jan. 25, 2009, "
4-12: "A Disquiet Follows My Soul" 2009.01.23," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3181356&view=findpost&p=11285730)

Made-up citation: "My door is welcome to all genocidal much-better-now-thankiacs. We've all made mistakes. Personally, I ate 409 leprechauns during a rough year in the eighties, but who's counting?"

Saturday, March 07, 2009


adj. Just how I feel after eating a planet or nuking a kitten factory.

Real citation: "Evil-gasmic."
(Jan. 15, 2007, Myth Drannor, http://mythdrannor.11.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=2459&start=15&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=&sid=8fefb59ab51b02762d3a5fc35fd3ce61)

Made-up citation: "I wish I had more evil-gasmic joys in my life... I knew this was a bad year to give up supervillainy and orphan-selling."

Friday, March 06, 2009


noun. A quality I possess once a day, after taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

Real citation: "Little Person
You've gone through life being called all manner of diminutive names, but by this point you've learned to ignore it. In fact, it's become a bit of a tradition for those around you to try to get a rise out of you. You've learned an eclectic set of skills in your strange life, although of course you have sometimes been limited by your light-as-a-feather-itude."
(Blah Blah Online, http://www.blahblahonline.com/register.php)

Made-up citation: "To be successful, every ballerina must have grace, agility, light-as-a-feather-itude, and a father in the mob. Little known fact."

Thursday, March 05, 2009


noun. Such a non-youthful lifeform, like a loving grandpa or Biblical snake demon.

Real citation: "as for the criss-cross features, are those paleo-critter tracks? if so then it probalby means that we are looking at the bottom of a layer."
(Sept. 1, 2008, Looking for Detachment, http://highway8a.blogspot.com/2008/07/friday-field-photos-wheeler-peak.html)

Made-up citation: "A paleo-critter ate my kitten! I guess the old always destroy the young, like that time Bob Barker tried to devour Hannah Montana organs-first."


verb. Conduct unbecoming a pillar of the community. There could even be a comportment issue.

Real citation: "But he wasn’t Muslim himself, and he certainly wasn’t “put up to this” like a Manchurian candidate. That’s just getting too much into the realm of X-files goofulating."
(April 23, 2007, Jakob Walter Uhlen, The Anthropik Network, http://anthropik.com/2007/04/ax-ishmael/)

Made-up citation: "I don't regret the years I spent goofulating. I regret the years I spent, as my friend Brian puts it, 'oscillating like a broken grandfather clock'. Because that is tough on the old melon."

Wednesday, March 04, 2009


noun. An essential component of dweebs, along with Lisa Simpson's discovery, the chemical Poindextrose.

Real citation: "Waldron should patent himself as a perpetual motion machine, for behold: he attracts infinite amounts of energy regardless of what amoebic pertinence his posts are made of. Soon enough the end of the world will come, for as Ghistradamus prophesized, the end is nigh, indeed!: the amount of sound advice poured into Waldron's pinsized head will exceed its schwarzchild radius and implode itself in a spacetime dweebularity like the house in Poltergeist."
(June 24, 2008, Aces High II Bulletin Board, http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/index.php?topic=239303.30)

Made-up citation: "Does it give away my dweebularity if I admit to spending the afternoon of my birthday with cupcakes and a comic book? I'm finally seeing what this Watchmen monkey-doodle is all about. I like the blue dude who killed Vietnam. By my next birthday, I'd like to be a blue dude like that. I think I'll destroy Florida."


noun. An unhealthy turn of events for an economy or lung.

Real citation: "Financial Collapse-alypse
I've been following the podcasts out of www.financialsense.com
for some time. I'm pretty sure Jim Puplava called everything that's going on (subprime, housing bubble, stimulus package) years ago. He's big on precious metals which I'm not sure about, but his other advice makes sense (water, oil, commodities.)"
(Jan. 29, 2009, Robot Lounge, http://www.giantrobot.com/forums/showthread.php?t=39588)

Made-up citation: "Among mole men, a cave-in is more commonly known as a collapse-alypse. Mole-man culture is fascinating, from the delicious orphan pies to the festive spring dances with the pig-men."

Tuesday, March 03, 2009


adj. Groo-flipping-flopping-vy.

Real citation: "ahaha that is un flipping flapping real! those kids got talent. im actually so happy that u shared that with me.
the start- love a birra asian
the middle- new chris brown in the making
the end- heartfelt as you dont want it to be over"
(Clare Pender, http://de.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=72273068)

Made-up citation: "You know what I find un-flipping-flapping-real? Women who have six visible straps. It's a mathematical puzzle. Some straps I understand: two go down to the bra, two come up from the shirt. What are the other two straps connected to? Ovary harness? It seems awkward to ask."


noun. Huh?

Real citation: "My Confuzzle-osity..."
(Oct. 25, 2008, My Wonderful World of Wicketty-Wack, http://wickettywack.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-confuzzle-osity.html)

Made-up citation: "There is much confuzzle-osity in the journey of the cosmos. Hmm. That could be the concussion talking."

Monday, March 02, 2009


adj. Mwah-hah-hah-y.

Real citation: "Wanted is basically a juvenile superheroic (supervillainistic?) power fantasy for teens and 20-something hooked on comics, action movies and GTA games. Women are best advised to avoid this as the testosterone fueling the comic is in overdrive."
(Nov. 18, 2008, Being Centered, http://lyehuat1973.blogspot.com/2008/11/wanted.html)

Made-up citation: "It wasn't easy being the most supervillainistic kid in school... Everyone else is playing video games, while I'm trying to sterilize the human race or tie a damsel to the tracks. Do you know how hard it is for a kid to get his hands on a good damsel? I just hope my children will have all the damsels they need (and that Amtrak maintains a regular schedule)."


adj. Such a simpler time, before non-holy trios roamed the plains.

Real citation: "therefore no clue how the day was spent. although i think that Alicen and Kerry and i hashed out our plans for going to Firenze on saturday. i felt like i was just tagging along...crazy pre-unholy-trinity times."
(Feb. 9, 2007, Il Centro, un'anno fa, http://un-anno-fa.blogspot.com/2007/02/day-27-another.html)

Made-up citation: "Everything changed in my family, pre-unholy-trinity and post-unholy-trinity. Even the dog poo now has seven heads, but it doesn't smell, which is interesting,"

Sunday, March 01, 2009

FWBs (followers with benefits)

noun phrase. Hmm. I may have to rethink my atheism. Anyone need a Pope?

Real citation: "I thought this show was a clever commentary on looking at the darkest, and brightest, parts of ourselves. A look at our future and our past. All this has happened before. In my head I always finished with and could happen again if we don't figure out how to stop it. But all this talk of angels and gods and visions is like spiritual technobabble but without the really useful requirements of science or logic or collective observation or even, say, a plan. I find it particularly telling the greatest scientific mind of the colonies is merely a fake religious zealot who says pretty words and has his own visions but doesn't use that amazing scientific brain to use science to help people or even to get more FWBs (followers with benefits). For me, a great show should have an organic ending. It doesn't have to be predictable, just logical. A science fiction show should use science once in a while. And a show that promises to be a mirror should actually reflect us."
(Feb. 28, 2009, "4-17: "Someone To Watch Over Me" 2009.02.27," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3182678&view=findpost&p=11424551)

Made-up citation: "Join my new religion! It's based on a steady diet of pancakes, grain alcohol, organ harvesting, inner peace, and followers with benefits. So when can I stop paying taxes?"