Sunday, December 31, 2006


noun. The exploits of losers--and maybe a few hosers and louts too.

Related terms: asscapades, bedcapades, crapcapades, dorkcapades, fuckcapades, shitcapades, skankcapades, turdcapades.

Real citation: "So she's a big loser, and you're the little turd chronicling her losercapades on iSONEWS. That puts you at the top of the loser-chain, loser."
(AngryKoala, Jan. 16, 2006,

Made-up citation: "My biography will probably be titled Losercapades, though I'd prefer Mega Uber Space Porn: Shazbot!"


noun. A quality possessed by those rare individuals who are neither stirring the pot nor slowly destroying the souls of everyone around them.

Real citation: "I think he's seen more of the best and worst of Kara than anyone else in her life and he still stays. How could Kara possibly resist that? He's like this walking validation of her not-a-cancerness. His brother died due in part to her bad judgement, they fight, they hurt each other, she accidently shot him in the chest - but he's still standing and he's still there and I just can't see that as a weakness."
(Oracle42, " 3-9: "Unfinished Business" 2006.12.01," Dec. 2, 2006, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "In basketball, teammates are valued for passing, rebounding, not-a-cancerness, and cool facial hair."

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Mother Theresa-y

adj. Humanitarian-style, which is so popular with the kids these days.

Real citation: "I found their description to be a bit whacked out. I'm allegedly highly introverted while being all Mother Theresa-y and saving the world."
(ihearteric, Sept. 18, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I stole a neighbor's newspaper on Christmas. Not the most Mother Theresa-y way to celebrate Jesusday."


adj. Conjugalicious-y.

Real citation: "In refernce to my last post: The evil cabana boy position has been filled. I am looking forward to many years of dedicated evil service from my evil cabana boy, and suggest he learn some monster foot rubbing skillz. Also, by agreeing to be my evil cabana boy, he's agreed to all sorts of nookie-ish things. Heh."
(June 8, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Bonobos engage in nookie and nookie-ish activities about as often as I suck down bubble teas and watch Battlestar Galactica DVDs. Hmmm. This evolution thing might not be working right."

Wednesday, December 27, 2006


adj. Something defuckified has been unfuckified, unfucked, and defucked--in other words, fixed.

Related terms: deballified, degoopified, desmellified, destinkified.

Real citation: "So I go to setup Trillian on my work PC since home might go away again in the rolling blackouts. Now my first thought was just to unzip my copy from home directly on top of the existing copy but then I thought.. no... thats kind of a shotgun approach.. lets do it smarter. Much tinkering later I think I have it defuckified now. This thing seems to have settings all over the place. Whee. Hehe."
(techie, April 18, 2006,

Made-up citation: "How many years of therapy will it take till my psyche is defuckified?"


noun. Look deep into the buggy eyes of a raving nutbar, and this ye shall find.

Related terms: nutbarhood.

Real citation: "Ah! I continue to marvel at Kramer's patience and politeness in the face of obvious nutbaritude."
(NoDeity, June 24, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Clinically speaking, believers in angels and believers in pig-men occupy the same sphere of nutbaritude."

Tuesday, December 26, 2006


adj. An alternative to "absolutely" that is full of shit.

Related terms: absodiddly, absoforking, absofracking, absofreaking, absofricking, absofucking, absosmurfing.

Real citation: "guess what... i absoshitly LOVE shane tyson."
(Rocko, May 9, 2005,

Made-up citation: "The most absoshitly delightful concert I went to this year was probably the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. They own me, and I like it."


adj. A very specific type of spandex-tightness.

Real citation: "Indeed, it was cameltoeriffic. I'm thinking they probably should have considered wearing some sort of underwear."
(Dunnas, Oct. 23, 2005,

Made-up citation: "'Be not ye cameltoeriffic,' said the thunder god Thor, harshing the Asgardian mellow once again."

Sunday, December 24, 2006


adj. Cringy squared.

Real citation: "I just watched this episode again earlier today- it starts off so cringy (for me, not so funny-cringy as cringy-cringy) but gets better as the episode progresses- I feel so sorry for poor Katy while watching it."
(hayds, "1-6: "Hot Girl" 2005.04.26," July 20, 2006, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "Cringy-cringy is painful to the soul but easier to clean up than barfy-cringy."


present participle. Totally un-Christmas-like. Um, make that un-Cialis-like.

Related terms: actual-boner-giving, non-boner-inducing, non-boner-ifying.

Real citation: "Mexicans eat turtle eggs because they believe that turtle eggs give them boners. Turtle eggs do not give them boners. Mexican environmentalists attempt to replace non-boner-giving turtle eggs with actual-boner-giving models. Environmentalists sell out long-term goals (stop the objectification of women) for short-term goal (stop the extinction of sea-turtles)."
(ACS, August 25, 2004,

Made-up citation: "'Boner-giving or non-boner-giving?' is the 'Paper or plastic?' of the pharmaceuticals industry."

Thursday, December 21, 2006


adj. Only somewhat lacking a steaming pile of crapola.

Real citation: "I don't know why, but whenever I install windows on a computer, it stays usable (semi crapola free) for at least six months. For some of my friends, that's a record. I watch as they install windows, I don't notice any difference, and it goes to hell in a week."
(Sid, Jan. 14, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I'm afraid that if reviews indicate the new Rocky movie is even semi-crapola-free, I'll check it out. I'm not proud."


adj. A family-friendly version of "fan-fucking-tastic."

Real citation: "fan-coitus-tastic!"
(andy, Oct. 2, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Words to avoid when composing love poems: fan-coitus-tastic, stank, throbiness."

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


adj. When a dude loves a a dudely way, sort of.

Real citation: ":laugh: i would say the rest of the lyrics but they are a lil mancrushish"
(Leonard Washington, Dec. 12, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Many conservatives have mancrushish feelings for the Prez, as hilariously pointed out by James Wolcott."


noun. A film genre featuring long, hard, shiny, metallic robots--with attachments.

Related terms: assploitation, boobsploitation, cocksploitation, crapsploitation, crotchsploitation, dorksploitation, petsploitation, skanksploitation.

Real citation: "Tom: 'Botsploitation films, Mike, the whole lot of them! Little more than electronic 'minstrel shows' so you humans can watch the goofy antics of your 'happy slaves' while you crush them under your fleshy heel!"
(Feb. 22, 2003,

Made-up citation: "Fembotitude and botsploitation go together like coffee and...a shitload of more coffee."

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


adj. Mmmm...groiny goodness.

Related words: crotchalicious, conjugalicious.

Real citation: "sounds groinalicious!"
(norks, Jan. 29, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Many folks find this blog while searching for groinalicious delights. I wonder how disappointed they are to find the words 'full-frontal-ness' and 'robo-seductress' but no full-frontal-ness or robo-seductresses."


noun. A female hosebeast. But a hosebeast is female. You figure it out!

Related words: hosebeasty.

Real citation: "and Silver, dont defend this psycho hosebeastess - she crazy"
(Univity, Oct. 16, 2004,

Made-up citation: "Should I call Bethany the lady of the house or the hosebeastess of the house in my letter of recommendation?"

Monday, December 18, 2006


adj. Like premeditation, but the meditation was replaced with royal fucked-over-ness.

Real citation: "That last thought--that bolded one. Erase that one from your brain. We, as women, are somehow pre-fucked-over to believe that there is something wrong with us if something isn't working out, or going perfectly. And it's a load of bollocks. Sometimes shit is just wrong. It isn't anyone's fault. Not everything has to be the fault of someone. Sometimes, hell, often times, shit just sucks."
(Sassinator, Oct. 26, 2004,

Made-up citation: "I have a tendency to awfulize and feel pre-fucked-over, because I am a bowl of joy."


adverb. Like, totally unbecoming of His Popeliness.

Real citation: "Although the world’s Cardinals agreed that Benedict’s less than sporting response to his dismissal was rather undignified, they have forgiven him on the grounds that such unpopely behaviour is not sufficient cause for stripping a Cardinal of his feathers."
(Dale Petrie, 2005,

Made-up citation: "White robes are popely; purple thongs are unpopely."

Sunday, December 17, 2006


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adj. The Buffy generation's version of "sorta-mythological."

Real citation: "As for the moniker, at last night's LA show the question came up again, and we got a pretty firm response from Verheiden that it was purely an aesthetic decision, made at the last minute--they thought 'Zeus' sounded 'too mythology-y' and preferred the rhythm of 'Jupiter.'"
(Jenny O, "3-11: "The Eye Of Jupiter" 2006.12.15," Dec. 16, 2006, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "'By Thor's hammer!' is a mythology-y exclamation. 'Holy monkey balls!' is not."

Thursday, December 14, 2006


noun. Chuck full o' non-douchey goodness.

Real citation: Matt, in a rare moment of non-douchitude."
(kian esquire, Oct. 4, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Could you write me a letter of recommendation? Make sure to discuss my promptness and non-douchitude."


noun. A most pregcellent situation.

Related words: knockedupedness, fuckedupedness, messedupedness, jackedupedness, screwedupedness.

Real citation: "All the nausea and none of the knockupedness!"
(Oct. 18, 2005, Furious Redhead,

Made-up citation: "My ex-girlfriend is reeling with knockupedness... I'm glad I'm not the dad, 'cause I can barely handle having a puppy."

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


adj. Well, this is probably not a compliment.

Related terms: asstard, asstardy, asstardish, asstardness, asstardishness, asstarditude.

Real citation: "Well asstardtastic master created the C:\ partition using the ENTIRE DISK not the 2000mb he was instructed to do on day1."
(Godspeed, Feb. 20, 2003,

Made-up citation: "I cannot wait for the next election, because even if we elect a naked mole rat President, he or she will not be as asstardtastic as the current occupant."


noun. Shenanigans of a bedly sort.

Related terms: asscapades, crapcapades, dorkcapades, fuckcapades, losercapades, shitcapades, skankcapades, turdcapades.

Real citation: "Working in Waikiki I was propositioned by 2 different couples to join them in their hotel rooms, I remember one of them owned a gym in L.A. it was so weird cause the wives start hitting on you right in front of their husbands and you don't know how to react. The gym couple was cool as hell and the wife was super fine, I contemplated it for a while until my friends brought up what the Husband might have wanted out of the arrangement. That killed all notions of joining in on their bedcapades."
(maniclion, May 5, 2004,

Made-up citation: "In Sex Advice 101, I learned that using the word 'bedcapades' will kill any chance of bedcapades occurring."

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


adj. Totally lacking psychotic murderesses.

Real citation: "Cordelia filed her nails, thinking that perhaps a nice, long paid vacation of the psychotic-murderess-free type was just what she needed."

Made-up citation: "Our apartments are 2-bedroom, cable-ready, psychotic-murderess-free, and pet-friendly."

undercover pigdar

noun. A keen, hidden-pork-detecting sense.

Related terms: gaydar, straightdar, bi-dar, hickdar, loserdar, boob-dar, penis-dar, big dick-dar, hair-dar, porn-dar, sex-dar, food-dar, sleep-dar, money-dar, ho-dar, slut-dar, babe-dar, virgin-dar, jailbaitdar, hottie-dar, weirdo-dar, jerk-dar, moron-dar, dorkdar, skankdar, freak-dar, ass-dar, asshole-dar, Pretentious Club-going New York Assholedar, "someone is staring at my ass"-dar, “Jesus Freak” dar, zombie-dar.

Real citation: "As good as my gaydar, christiandar and undercover pigdar."
(SugarVelvetCheeks, Jan. 27, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Undercover pigdar is more useful in some professions than others, according to my guidance counselor."

Monday, December 11, 2006


noun. The depressing process--sometimes involving ice water--of limpifying a tallywhacker.

Related terms: bonerification. non-bonerification, bonerify, debonerfy.

Real citation: "That's too bad because I've always had nice, beautiful, sometimes erotic images of Fergie in my head. Now every time I see the video for Don't Phunk With My Heart, even though she looks so smokin' hot and her hair is all crazy sexy cool, the damn pictures of her and her pee pee pants creeps into my head. Talk about a boner killer. Forget thinking about baseball or flowers or Janet Reno for de-bonerification. Now all you need is this sultry picture of Fergie and her urine soaked crotch!"
(cjlampa, Aug. 8, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Winter is like the de-bonerification of Mother Nature. Um, if she was a dude."


noun. The essence of what-the-fuckness, according to what-the-fuckologists.

Related terms: WTF, WTFitude, WTFage.

Real citation: "Notes: skip straight to 3:10. Watching the explanation beforehand can only reduce the sheer WTFosity. Also, keep an eye out for the puffs of smoke that represent GTP hydrolysis, if you're the type to get excited about such things. And for the love of god, do not pass this up."
(Oct. 30, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Though WMDs were never found in Iraq, four years of war have turned up substantial quantities of WTFosity."

Sunday, December 10, 2006

metric turdload

noun. A lot. A turdy lot.

Related terms: metric buttload, metric assload, metric arseload, metric heinie-load, metric bootyload, metric poop-load, metric poo-load, metric shitload, metric crapload, metric fuckload, metric boatload, metric truckload, metric smurfload, metric cuntload, metric dickload, metric cockload, metric pantload, metric pantsload, metric jesus-load.

Real citation: "alchohol cuases depression on its own without accutane. Throughout my entire course I drank a metric turdload of beer and all of my bloodtests were groovy baby. Now thats probably not a good idea or anything but Im just relaying my experience."
(lepermessiah, Jan. 6, 2003,

Made-up citation: "While listening to Christmas music, I can think of a metric turdload of preferable activities, including alternative interrogation methods and drowning."


noun. A literal or metaphorical toaster-like caretaker of crotchfruit.

Real citation: "The robobabysitters? Hilarious - particularly when they opened the briefcase of baby supplies. Loved the line about baby proofing the house - ya know, outlet protection, explosive sniffers. All the stuff any new mom would need ;-)"
(concertfreak, "5-12: "There's Only One Sydney Bristow" 2006.04.26," April 25, 2006, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "I attended my first baby shower this year, and I gave three shiny robobabysitters to the glowy mom-to-be."

Thursday, December 07, 2006


noun. 1. A fucking buckethead. 2. A heady fuckbucket. 3. A buckety fuckhead.

Real citation: "mine were ruin'd by by a fuckbuckethead but that's a different story!"
(Feb. 23, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Maybe I am a fuckbuckethead. But I want to be the best fuckbuckethead I can be."


noun. Holy and pure and good and right and Christ-y.

Real citation: "But I have to ask that fervent 40 percent, if it really is just his Jesusy-ness that's keeping you in his fold, aren't you a little worried? About your much-anticipated Rapture and plans for eternity and all that, I mean."
(Bill Cope, "What's Left To Like?," March 1, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I had some Jesusy-ness when my hair was long and flowed in the autumn breeze. Now, not so much."

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


adj. Oh, the humanity! A plethora of pity-party-ness.

Real citation: "Wallowlicious indie mopecore!"
(July 12, 2004,

Made-up citation: "The bad part of working at home is if I get depressed and wallowlicious, I can pretty much wallow for weeks."


noun. Look deep into the heart of an evil cohort, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "GURPS Camelot is a good GURPS book by a good GURPS writer (Bob Schroeck, with charming Peggy providing research assistance and general cohortitude), and we used it as the basis for a very entertaining campaign back in the day."
(S. John Ross, April 8, 2005,

Made-up citation: "All my friends are women these days: I've got female cohortitude up the ying-yang."

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

betowelled regions

noun. The crotch and adjacent lands.

Related terms: nether regions, groinal regions, crotchal regions, buttockial region, woman region, man region.

Real citation: "I feel marginally sorrier for Lee, because he got handed his hat, his head, his heart and his, uhm, be-towelled regions, to him on a plate by his s/i/s/t/e/r/ would-be lover. But I, too, miss the strong Lee of, again, about 1.5 seasons ago."
(Kaffyr, "3-9: "Unfinished Business" 2006.12.01," Dec. 2, 2006, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "Swamp ass is one of the most nasty conditions that can afflict the betowelled regions. Though a towel is handy."


adj. Asteroid go kah-spodey.

Real citation: "And NASA isn't even researching possible anti-space-rock technology."
(Gregg Easterbrook, "Hey coach, take responsibility!," Nov. 27, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I support the right to bear anti-space-rock super-lasers and bring them to work. These are dangerous times."

Monday, December 04, 2006


noun. A noisy, dignity-free specialist.

Real citation: "I remember once walking on the Upper East Side when I came upon a group of actors in faux armor and leggings clapping coconuts together to promote the just-released movie version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. As they passed, I heard one coconut-clonker say to another, 'And to think I went to Julliard...'"
(James Wolcott, "Parade Floats and Haunted Spirits," Nov. 23, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I can respect a coconut-testicled coconut-clonker, because I was raised with good values."


adj. Appendage-y in a tentacle-ish way.

Real citation: "The Imps hold the Pixie forest to the east of the Dwarven kingdom. They are humanoid, in that they have two arms, two legs, and a head, but otherwise they more or less resemble vague sillouhettes. Their skin is purple or pink and their eyes glow with magic. Their feet, hands, and the tentaclesque thing on the back of their head is sepia brown."
(gaiacarra, June 28, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Words no pregnant woman wants to hear about their first ultrasound: seven-headed, three-wattled, tentaclesque."

Sunday, December 03, 2006


adj. When "crappy" seems to lack precision.

Real citation: "Your Verbal Intelligence is CrapTasticish"

Made-up citation: "This craptasticish wind is really chapping my hide. Also my face, my fingers, my sucketh."


noun. The bluest, most adorable member of the wad family.

Related terms: biscuitwad, hootchie-wad, non-fugly-blubber-wad.

Real citation: "Actually, I've been getting more annoyed at the radio ads lately. Who started the trend of having people with annoying voices sell stuff? Do they really think it helps to have some irritating smurfwad repeating the name of your product over & over again?"
(Cletus, Nov. 17, 2004,

Made-up citation: "Papa Smurf was a smurfwad, though most batboys are not bats."