Sunday, January 31, 2010


noun. A hard-to-find land, somewhere near Lower Buttmunchistan.

Real citation: "@Garfene I buy a newspaper to read news. Not to look at pretty ads or what's happening under-a-rock-istan. Separate the sections man! :P"
(Jan. 27, 2010, Sean A.J. Bennett, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Be good, kids. Otherwise, your mom will send you to Under-a-rock-istan, where smurfs will set you on fire."

Saturday, January 30, 2010


noun. One of the greatest 'splosions of them all. I'm having a saliva-splosion just thinking about it.

Real citation: "@FreshGinger I ate this at Smokey Bones last week. It was like a barbecue-splosion in my mouth without all the fat. Nom nom nom nom."
(Jan. 27, 2010, Sara Metz, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I don't know how I'll die. I just hope, God willing, it isn't in a

Friday, January 29, 2010


noun. Almost as delicious as Christina Hendricks-tastic-ness. She's my new girlfriend.

Real citation: "Q:Nawp, just moar pineapple-tastic-ness! *noms pineapple*... A:Can iz have some noms?"
(Jan. 26, 2010, Noelle Smith, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Where can I find an aftershave with pineapple-tastic-ness? God knows I don't ask for much!"

Thursday, January 28, 2010


verb. Can't quite define this one... It just isn't specific enough.

Real citation: "Off to de-Prince-Charming-from-Shrek-ify my weave so @fuzztwin doesn't kill herself laughing at me. Only two days 'till I see @fuzztwin! :D"
(Jan. 26, 2010, Joel Birch, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "How much would it cost to de-Prince-Charming-from-Shrek-ify my pubes? Hello? Hello? Mom? Hello?"

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


noun. Of all the prophesied end times, this is the most delicious.

Real citation: "Another coworker brought Girl-scout-cookie-pocalypse. The damage: 1 lemon cream, 2 samoa, 2 tagalong, 1 thinmint"
(Jan. 21, 2010, Joseph Johnston, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "There is no force on heaven or earth that can prevent Girl-scout-cookie-pocalypse! Nothing! I mean, maybe you could start going to the gym, but that's it."

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


noun. Snow-capades, perhaps with a side of winter-tastrophe.

Real citation: "With 11″ of snow on the ground, we set off on Saturday with a couple of sleds (thanks, Gerstle!) and had some snow-nannigans. Pictures were taken and now appear in the 2008.03.08 - Sledding! gallery."
(March 10, 2008, Ben Wilson,

Made-up citation: "Compared to my hometown of Buffalo, Chicago has no snow-nannigans at all. Chicago is also less cursed by the gods, the devils, and the mystical trolls."

Monday, January 25, 2010

too many slashes syndrome

noun phrase. A condition I understand well, as the only exorcist/stable boy/sex therapist/armpit plucker in the tri-state area.

Real citation: "now he has what i like to call 'Too Many Slashes' syndrome... Producer/Rapper/Songwriter/Model/Actor/Designer/blah/blah/ Whoa! Chill Brotha!"
(Oct. 30, 2009, Edward Sanders, Jr., Twitter,

Made-up citation: "There's only one cure for too many slashes syndrome: slam your wang in the window. Hey, if Oprah says it, I'm not gonna argue."

Sunday, January 24, 2010


noun. Ugh-gasm? Ugh-tastrophe? Ugh-ma-doodle?

Real citation: "@kirk13 With Bassinger and Kilmer? Ugh-splosion!"
(June 21, 2009, DZ of CD, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I don't know if I'm ready to start fiddling professionally again... Last time, the audience's ugh-splosions crushed my ego, and a groupie stole my fez."

Saturday, January 23, 2010


noun. Jersey?

Real citation: "The Economist: Deeper in the mire: Afghaniclusterfu**istan on Fluent News"
(Jan. 20, 2010, ForMyNews, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I'm thinking about planning a vacay in Afghaniclusterfu**istan. I also might go back on my meds."

Friday, January 22, 2010


adj. Hmm... This word feels Martha Stewart-y-ish. That's all I got.

Real citation: "going to go do something housework-y ish."
(Jan. 16, 2010, Darla Vaughan, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Rarely can I maintain any housework-y-ish momentum. In fact, this morning I was attacked in the shower by Cylons or mildew. I say Cylons. What were we talking about?"

Thursday, January 21, 2010


noun. A quality found deep in the soul of all asswipes--and a few douchewads.

Real citation: "@palais1977 Indeed. His asswipe-itude even made his awesomeness possible in the first place last night."
(Jan. 15, 2010, Trey Irby, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I'd love to date you, but you see, I have this...asswipe-itude. It's my curse. It's my legacy. It's my binkie."

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


adj. May involve a cucumber wrapped in tin foil.

Real citation: "Potential #newsok enhancement: Chirpiness control for Wendy with Wimgo. Right now, she's got it up to a Spinal-Tapezoidal 11."
(Jan. 17, 2010, Charles G. Hill, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Our marriage ended on the wedding night, after sweet Elizabeth described my johnson as 'Spinal-Tapezoidal,' while humming 'Stonehenge'..."

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


noun. A pain reliever even less recommended than skinny dipping in lava.

Real citation: "migraine.. head hurt... can I get a right-side-of -my-head-ectomy"
(Jan. 13, 2010, Sean Reiser, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Please, Dr. Vargas, not the
right-side-of-my-head-ectomy! Noooo! That's my good side! It holds all my memories of doing your mom."

Monday, January 18, 2010


noun. The mortal enemy of the fork-ologist.

Real citation: "@Jason_mraz: don't you have a spoon-ologist or something?"
(Jan. 8, 2010, Tommy Littlefoot, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I almost became a spoon-ologist. That was before I found my true love: aeronautical spatulistics."

Sunday, January 17, 2010


noun. The greatest hazard of a pancake-ful life.

Real citation: "Just got an e-mail saying @Brueggers has the maple & sausage bagel again. *dies from maple-related syrup-tastrophe*"
(Jan. 5, 2010, Erin, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I lived through a horrific syrup-tastrophe on my sixth birthday. I haven't been able to look at Mrs. Butterworth since."

Saturday, January 16, 2010


noun. Warning: don't try it with the barbarian.

Real citation: "It'll be the Irish Conan guy vs the Scottish Conan guy. I wonder if there will be any cross-Conan-ization before he takes over the Tonight Show..."
(April 23, 2009, Digg,

Made-up citation: "I guess cross-Conan-ization failed... I did think it was odd when he showed up in my bathroom."

Friday, January 15, 2010


noun. Rambo 'em up!

Real citation: "All of my concerns about the action-hero-ification of Sherlock Holmes in the new movie were for naught. It...was...brilliant."
(Jan. 4, 2010, Jer, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "The action-hero-ification of my life is complete. The criminal scum/rubber duckies are terrified!"

Thursday, January 14, 2010


noun. It's a convention. Or is it? Maybe it's a centaur.

Real citation: "jan 23. gone perform wit @deeITgurl at da celebrity convention-ma-bob- more details later, i cant wait !"
(Jan. 8, 2010,
RudeBoipharaoh, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I think I want to go to a Big Lebowski convention-ma-bob. I just need to get my bowling ball back from my S&M-obsessed gran-gran."

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


adj. Definition removed for offensivizzleness.

Real citation: "Michael Steele has asked Harry 'Negro' Reid to step down, saying 'his words were offensivizzle.'"
(Jan. 10, 2010, Avery Edison, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "My goals: get a moat, eat a bear, and convince Sharon to include 'offensivizzle' in our wedding vows."

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


noun. Zzzzzzzzzzz-itude.

Real citation: "Fie on you, comfy couch, for this base and unexpected betrayal of snooze-osity!"
(Jan. 5, 2009, Scott James Magner, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "At this point in my life, I can't think of anything I'd like to do all night besides engage in rampant
snooze-osity. Sex? Please. You have sex all night, and I'll dream about it."

Monday, January 11, 2010


noun. A quality found only in the very young/unholy.

Real citation: "@andromz @jencember I did know that, I DO read MLIA. This was just me in a state of devil-child-ish-ness."
(Nov. 13, 2009, almaasi, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Orphans! Get your farm-fresh orphans here! No refunds for devil-child-ish-ness."

Sunday, January 10, 2010


verb. A colorful process that does not involve a purple-headed womb broom. So get your head out of the gutter and put a Bible in it.

Real citation: "Re-purple-izing my hair and giving myself a mani/pedi. It's a pamper May afternoon."
(Nov. 29, 2009, maybear25, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Re-purple-izing Barney every two weeks is probably the toughest part of the cartoon industry. Stun-gunning that dino-bastard isn't as easy as it looks."

Saturday, January 09, 2010


adj. Boneriffic.

Real citation: "Second, let's talk about Halloween! It's a scant six months away, and time to start planning the huge mondo spectacular ginormous huge phallotastic AVITABLE HALLOWEEN PARTY 2008!"
(May 13, 2008, Avitable,

Made-up citation: "Why are so many monuments morbidly phallotastic? Let me consult my enormous johnson and get back to you on that."

Friday, January 08, 2010


adj. If you thought "cowboy" and "cowboy-ier" were cowboy-y, think again.

Real citation: "i saw the cowboy-iest cowboy ever today. he had everything but the horse in the store."
(Nov. 21, 2009, Tasha Vanderpool, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "1997 was the cowboy-iest year of my life. That's the year I learned what kind of magic can happen behind a haystack when the rodeo's in town."

Thursday, January 07, 2010


noun. May involve a chest afro--a very hip look these days in other solar systems.

Real citation: "@ActuallyNPH Penn need to un-button one more shirt button for maximum chesthair-itude and pec-osity."
(Nov. 24, 2009, Geoff Kass, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "This guy at the used clothes store had such insane chesthair-itude spilling out of his shirt that I was scared, as if a bear were about to maul my children. Yeeps."

Wednesday, January 06, 2010


adj. I can really respect this culture, especially now that I changed my name to Mark Supreme-Leader-ski.

Real citation: "What ethnicity is Benatar? I'm gonna go with Made-up-name-a-stani."
(Nov. 28, 2009, Dan Cronin, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Let us celebrate the Made-up-name-a-stani people, especially the tribe of Brick Tamland."

Tuesday, January 05, 2010


noun. A cure for what ails ya and a healthy breakfast.

Real citation: "Theraflu would go down easier with some theravodka."
(Dec. 12, 2009, Stephanie Sparer, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Don't bring Theravodka to a Theracrackpipe party."

Monday, January 04, 2010


adj. Somewhere in the neighborhood of glam-trashtastic.

Real citation: "@acidcherry wait til you see The Skirt. it's awesome. we designed it together, very glitzy-glammy-artdeco-y"
(Dec. 28, 2009, Amanda Palmer, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Very little of my wardrobe could be considered glitzy-glammy-artdeco-y, except maybe my glow-in-the-dark Mr. Rogers sweater."

Sunday, January 03, 2010


adj. Signifying a lost era, sometime after the days of yore yet before some moron hid explosives next to his junk.

Real citation: "@ginatrapani Flew MDW to BWI Monday night, no changes noted from the pre-undiebomber flight in the other direction. Except the jokes. ;)"
(Dec. 30, 2009, Brian Wolven, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Pre-undiebomber, the 30 Rock joke about freedom searching was pretty funny.... And now? Next time I travel, I'm leaving the family jewels at home."

Saturday, January 02, 2010


adj. Oh Cocoa Puffs... No one gets under my undies quite like you.

Real citation: "@RachelDashae sounds cereal-gasmic :D"
(Dec. 29, 2009, kollinbliss, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "In the history of humanity, no fictional character was more cereal-gasmic than Jerry Seinfeld."

Friday, January 01, 2010

Vic Mackey-ing

verb. Forceful action, bearing little resemblance to the process known as "Mother Theresa-ing".

Real citation: "If I had friends who watched The Shield, we’d probably have an inside joke—a phrase, maybe, wherein we’d say that one could 'Vic Mackey' something. Vic Mackey-ing something would involve the commandeering or confiscating of an object by force, though not necessarily by the violent means which said character generally resorts to on the show, and almost certainly with less brutalizing of minorities."
(Jan. 18, 2006, Chris Nelson, Stylus,

Made-up citation: "As of this moment, I am Vic Mackey-ing the bathtub. These rubber duckies just can't handle the freedom."