Tuesday, October 30, 2007


adj. Blessed-union-y.

Real citation: “The mass was pretty long with all the readings and hymns but I guess it's sweet in a way -- all formal and holy-matrimonialish.”
(Sept. 26, 2004, Banana Pen, http://bananapen.blogspot.com/2004/09/my-sisters-wedding.html)

Made-up citation: "This coffee shop is nice, but can we skip the priest, the rice, the veil, the cake, and the bridesmaids? They seem a little holy-matrimonialish for chess club."


adj. An omnipotent, omniscient, freaking awesome fuckish word.

Real citation: “So we decided to go out to dinner, and picked a local Tex-Mex restaurant. Where Alex thought it'd be fun to spend the evening climbing over Anna and throwing silverware, and where a roaming omnifucking mariachi band made it impossible to even think clearly, much less talk clearly.”
(Sept. 4, 2007, “Having Fun - The Dragon*Con Report,” http://sfeley.livejournal.com/43960.html)

Made-up citation: "'Sweet omnifucking Lord!' is almost not blasphemous."


noun. Take an asswipe. Add a buttwad. Subtract an assbutt. Voila.

Real citation: “dude...whats with all the racist bullshit on here? Get a fucking life you wadwipe. I have no problems with a little name calling but racism is just weak and outdated. It really diminishes the validity of the board.”
(Sept. 24, 2007, Stillers Talk, http://forums.stillers.com/forums/Default.aspx?g=posts&t=298&p=2)

Made-up citation: "In a world of buttwipes, I am a wadwipe. And I don't trust buttwipes."


adj. More poignant than poignant, less poignant than poignantastic.

Real citation: “Thanks also for 'Leftover Lady.' What can I say, I think it’s a very poignantistic poem and Jade’s kookificness is very loveable.”
(May 19, 2006, fourfour, http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2006/05/the_clump_stops.html)

Made-up citation: "I dated a chemistry teacher, but we had no chemistry. I dated a philosophy teacher who couldn't think. Then I went out with a gym teacher who shaved cats. Is that ironic, poignantistic, or just sad?"

Monday, October 29, 2007


noun. A doofus who is alive! Aiiiieeeeeeeeee!

Real citation: “Good thing I am pretty thick-skinned...when SDV called The Sage and myself 'Frankendoofus', I nearly peed my pants from laughter! Between SDV and his Canadian buddy Alex, I should have enough material to keep me going through the month of April.”
(April 1, 2007,

Made-up citation: "Was John Kerry ever called 'Frankendoofus'? I'm no historian. These aren't even my pants."


noun. A minion, underling, goon, or assistant with the gift of gab.

Real citation: “A spokeshenchman for the un-named evil genius said: “dropping bombs on these dingbats doesn’t work, so a death-ray from outer space would be a waste of time. We might as well twist their genes around until they start acting like humans rather than a sackful of civets on heat, then we can steal their oil and tax the beAllah out of the bastards”.”
(Nov. 19, 2003, Daily Diatribe, http://dailydiatribe.com.au/?p=2274)

Made-up citation: "Thank you for coming to our cult. My spokeshenchman will explain our plans to herd cats and re-eye the blind. Dings Dongs will be served."

Sunday, October 28, 2007


noun. Look deep into the eyes of a person with no balls or a pile of bird poop, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: “If I had said I was going to Santa Cruz, you would have given yourself credit for ‘changing my mind.’ Just a little more proof of your utter chickenshititude.”
(Eamon, April 22, 2003, http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/bulletproofmonk/105/1.html)

Made-up citation: "There's a lot of chickenshititude in my family. And a lot of love. And a lot of flat feet."


noun. A metric frakload. Or so.

Real citation: “No way dude thats mine!!! I'll give you a frakzillion dollars for it bebop!!”
(April 19, 2007, Newsarama, http://forum.newsarama.com/showthread.php?t=104204&page=176)

Made-up citation: "My favorite restaurant--Heaven on Seven--makes shrimp a frakzillion different ways. That is why I love them. But they are closed on the weekend. That is why I hate them."

Thursday, October 25, 2007


noun. The ability to detect willies-causing creeptasticness, squickage, and barf-me-outitude.

Related terms: gaydar, straightdar, bi-dar, sexual-geniusdar, hickdar, loserdar, boob-dar, penis-dar, big dick-dar, hair-dar, porn-dar, sex-dar, food-dar, sleep-dar, money-dar, ho-dar, slut-dar, babe-dar, virgin-dar, jailbaitdar, hottie-dar, weirdo-dar, jerk-dar, moron-dar, dorkdar, skankdar, freak-dar, ass-dar, asshole-dar, Pretentious Club-going New York Assholedar, someone-is-staring-at-my-ass-dar, “Jesus Freak” dar, zombie-dar, fake-boob-dar, camel toe-dar, dogdar, catdar, ratdar.

Real citation: “I think he either knowingly, or by accident, was part of sending her on that flight. He was REALLY creepy I think. Maybe that is nothing, but I tend to listen to my creepydar when it starts to ping.”
(March 26, 2006, http://www.lost-forum.com/archive/index.php/t-33295.html)

Made-up citation: "My daughter will be raised with a honed creepydar and retractable, unbreakable claws, like Wolverine. And she'll have all the Barbies and cheeses she desires."


adv. and int. You expect me to define this? Please.

Real citation: “puh-puh-puh-puh-LEEZE be my friend!?!?!?”
(July 13, 2006, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=64854077)

Made-up citation: "The student said, 'Can I puh-puh-puh-puh-leeze squeeze my cheese?' The teacher replied, 'Yes, you may.'"


noun. That odor is not the sweet stench of freedom.

Real citation: "Also, it is not our business to judge the level of 'non-democraciness' of states, especially because 'freedom of press' is among major criteria to make this judgement."

Made-up citation: "Egypt is in a state of non-democraciness. So is Mother's basement."


noun. Someone slightly less loathsome than a dickheadbuttwad.

Real citation: “I am done talking to you, dickheadbutt…”
(Pietman, June 2, 2007, Keo-co-za, http://www.keo.co.za/2007/06/01/bobs-back/)

Made-up citation: "In Canada, dickheadbutts are called hoserologists, according to the Department of Comparative Linguistics at a local university."

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

metric dumpload

noun. Dude, that is a LOT. 90 billion Courics!

Related terms: metric buttload, metric assload, metric arseload, metric heinie-load, metric bootyload, metric poop-load, metric poo-load, metric shitload, metric crapload, metric crudload, metric turdload, metric fuckload, metric boatload, metric truckload, metric smurfload, metric dickload, metric cockload, metric pantload, metric pantsload, metric jesus-load, metric monkeyload.

Real citation: “Get your metric dumpload of fabulousness here!”
(SortaSavageLike, June 23, 2006, The Ledge, http://ledge.fleetwoodmac.net/showthread.php?t=27517)

Made-up citation: "Words that should scare you: a metric dumpload of love."


adj. Having an indeterminate amount of manhood, or a questionable relationship to manhood, or a total lack of manhood.

Real citation: “But we DID have the ultimate holyday, FATHER'S DAY!!! Okay, to be honest it also was something religious based but everybody called it father's day because all fathers did something proletarian, stupid and manhoodish on this day, read: Get drunk, move to the bowling center using a small hand-held wagon full of booze and beer, go bowling, get the cart again and move to the next place where you can get even more drunk, etc. ... and all of that without any women EXCEPT for those that are going to get physical with you this day ... of course every person with balls participated, not just the real fathers!”
(Jan. 16, 2006, Your house my house, http://dragon2003.conforums2.com/index.cgi?board=Chat&action=display&num=1132870868)

Made-up citation: "My innards froth with testosterone. I belch machismo for breakfast. Don't make me perform a manhoodish display that would only disgrace our families."

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


noun. An expert in all things killy.

Real citation: “If you want a book that will alter your prospective even if you are a hard line assassinationologist or slightly skeptical about the assassination of J.F.K then this is for you.”
(Nov. 14, 2000, http://www.amazon.co.uk/Murder-Dealy-Plaza-Didnt-About/dp/0812694228)

Made-up citation: "I was faced with only two career options: assassinationologist and assassin. Frankly speaking, I am that much of an ass."


noun. A process that covers people, stuff, and woodland critters with the primal essence of the universe: goop.

Real citation: "I agree with everything said above, and I will add that the cap must be seated properly and firmly. I'd say that 90% of the goopification that occurs with paints is usually from that. If the cap is damaged in some way or the mating surface has paint on it then you end up with goop in the bottle. When I thin paints, I usually use the manufacturer's recommended agent. That is unless I am positive about a substitute."
(MortarMagnet, July 21, 2006, http://cs.finescale.com/forums/666697/ShowPost.aspx)

Made-up citation: "My campaign stands for five principles: Unification. De-nastification. Goopification. Braindeadification. Pre-schmoopification."

Monday, October 22, 2007


adj. Mmmm....boob-tastic-osity. Boobophobes beware!

Real citation: “peekabooblicious
(May 20, 2005, http://www.graphixanstuff.com/Forum/lofiversion/index.php?t3346-150.html)

Made-up citation: "Once again, I apologize to all earnest web surfers who seek peekabooblicious delights. All I have to offer are words and letters. But did you realize that some letters have boobs? Ever look at a B closely? Ok, so the boobs are in the wrong position--but can you say you're in the alphabet?"


adj. Do I seem like a bigger blogger and a larger lexicographer and a meatier man if I admit I don't know what in the name of Jesus this word is talking about? Does it just mean "yummy"?

Related terms: breakiest-outiest, chill-outiest, cop-outiest, down-and-outiest, far-outiest, freak-outiest, freaking-outiest, hangy-outiest, knock-outiest, making-outiest, old-lady-kicking-outiest, self-outiest, selling-outiest, sellingest-outiest, shout-outiest, sticky-outiest, way-outiest, worn-outiest.

Real citation: “Yes, single estate. The absence of the multiplicity of estates was as mouthwatering as the colonial occupation of India. Maybe even more so. Sao Tomé, yo, you make a mean chocolate, my native people friends. Thanks for keeping it a single estate and thanks for keeping it real all these years. Your mousse is the lightest, the fluffiest, the dreamiest, the cloudspuniest, the whiffle-fluffer-blissed-outiest. The extent to which Africa knows chocolate blows this reviewer's mind.”
(Meridith Rohana, June 3, 2006, http://www.pugbus.net/artman/publish/06032006_11_danielreview.shtml)

Made-up citation: "I snuck a look at my doctor's chart. It read: avocado... whiffle-fluffer-blissed-outiest... insurgency... scrapbook... mollusk. Should I worry?"

Sunday, October 21, 2007


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noun. A sleazeball from the wrong end of the bell jar. Or is that the bell curve? I'm not exactly a sleaze surgeon myself.

Real citation: “Guess what? None of them wanted it. One sleazetard agreed to buy it and then later recanted, saying to me, ‘I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.’”
(Drew, Jan. 24, 2006, http://theplayerscomeagain.blogspot.com/2006/01/now-i-know-why-my-father-hates.html)

Made-up citation: "'All men are either sleazetards or wankers,' said my mother. 'Then I shall be a wanktard,' I vowed that day."

Friday, October 19, 2007


noun. The little guy that's putting Massengill out of business.

Real citation: “That's Yoni, girlfriend,- -nano-douche-bot to the rescue...”
(Dec. 14, 2006, VideoSift, http://www.videosift.com/video/Woomba-Ad)

Made-up citation: "I never thought I'd live to see the nano-douche-bot. Ms. Pacman is now my second-favorite ultra-cleansing electro-feminine product."


adj. White male.

Real citation: “In Which I Alienate My Bepenised-European-American Readers"
(May 8, 2006, Tiny Cat Pants, http://tinycatpants.wordpress.com/2006/05/08/in-which-i-alienate-my-bepenised-european-american-readers/)

Made-up citation: "As a Bepenised-European-American, I bid you a fond good morning, between bites of white bread and sips of delicious 2% milk."

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


noun. An adorable dog breed--part poodle, poodle, poodle, and cocker spaniel--with a name it will never, ever live down.

Related terms: poocockapoopoo, cockapoopoopoo.

Real citation: “Or a poopoopoocock, which sounds very dirty. LOL NT”
(Feb. 6, 2007, Animal House, http://forums.jokersupdates.com/ubbthreads/showthreaded.php?Board=animalhouse&Number=5120149)

Made-up citation: "'Want to meet Mr. Wiggles, my poopoopoocock?' is not a pick-up line recommended by anybody."


noun. How "asshat" is translated in the technical journals.

Real citation: “Toadvision for 1.4 would suck. What's next, some buttocks-hat smacktard will make the wallhack for 1.4 too?”
(June 17, 2003, Vault Network, http://vnboards.ign.com/battlefield_2_general_board/b22322/51519745/p1/)

Made-up citation: "On a scale of butthole to buttocks-hat, how dumb do you think I am?"

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


noun. Because "assface" just isn't enough in this day and age. Inflation, you know.

Related terms: wadface, fuckwadface.

Real citation: "The grapevine says McGrath's wanted for narcotics. Somehow I don't think he'd do well in prison. Happy St. Patty's Asswadface!"
(March 17, 2007, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=66298550)

Made-up citation: "My inner Costanza and inner asswadface frequently engage in steel cage slapfights. Why couldn't I have an inner Sean Connery and inner smurf?"


noun. Nutso-cuckoo-ism. Or bugfuck-loonball-ism. Little of both, really.

Related terms: batshit-crazyism.

Real citation: “6 More Months Of Batshitism
(July 20, 2006, http://www.thosefascists.com/cheese/003457.php)

Made-up citation: "My family has a history of poor judgment, flat feet, and rabid batshitism. Our end of the gene pool is a kiddie pool filled with dog pee and elephant snot."

Jeebus H. Cripes on a pogo stick

exclamation. In standard English, this can be loosely translated as "Jesus H. Christ on a crosstown bus."

Related expressions: Jeebus H. Cripes on a cracker, Jeebus H. Cripes on a popsicle stick.

Real citation: “Jeebus H Cripes on a pogo stick. You drones are so clouded to reality it’s beyond amazing.”
(March 25, 2006, Apple Matters, http://www.applematters.com/index.php/section/comments/apple_to_spit_into_apple_computer_apple_electronics/)

Made-up citation: "When the Bills pulled out a soul-crushing loss to the Cowboys a few weeks ago, I had three thoughts: 1) Jeebus H. Cripes on a pogo stick! 2) I'm glad I don't live in Buffalo anymore. 3) I wish I were a chicken wing and someone would eat me and then throw the bones to a rabid dog."


adj. Lacking all traditional bridal qualities, such as beauty, grace, and X-ray vision.

Real citation: “I don't like weddings, get weddings, or understand why gals plan them way in advance either. (When I get married, I plan on eloping. I like neither wedding dressers nor jewelry, and I don't even want an engagement ring---that's how un-bride-y I am.)”
(berrieh, Oct. 6, 2007, “2-1: "SeinfeldVision" 2007.10.04,” Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3159367&view=findpost&p=8969354)

Made-up citation: "Sweetheart, you're not un-bride-y. Stop saying that. You're going to make the bestest bride ever. Now hold still while I get the duct tape. OK, Phil?"

Monday, October 15, 2007


verb. To systematically remove an over-the-shoulder boulder-holder from a woman, mannequin, cybabe, or disturbing uncle.

Real citation: “I will reiterate and agree with Kat at the same time: Ladies, if you're a 36D, debraify. (or even if you're not)”
(June 27, 2006, Dave Barry’s Blog, http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2006/06/your_onestop_so.html)

Made-up citation: "A woman can debraify herself in six seconds with one hand--even while wearing a shirt, sweater, and parka. Can your fancy iPhone do that?"


adj. 1) A British alternative to fanfuckingtasticlicious. 2) Better call a doctor/acquire a bucket.

Real citation: "I watched this bloody movie three times. Tonight will be the fourth. Fanbloodytasticlicious movie."
(kuching, Dec. 20, 2006, http://i-want-catnip.blogspot.com/2006/12/kuchings-movie-reviews.html)

Made-up citation: "To lower my cholesterol, I must avoid foods that are fatty, cheesy, fanbloodytasticlicious, and good. Stab me in the brain. Please?"

Sunday, October 14, 2007


adj. An abundance of crap heretofore unimagined by fecalologists, encompassing about a kabillion Courics.

Real citation: “Looking for a decidedly unofficial center of downtown? You could do worse than the small square called Liberty Plaza one block from the WTC site, a few blocks north of the still-wonderfully-seedy Lower Greenwich Street (go and you ll see what we mean), right on Broadway, just south of City Hall and (more usefully, since you can t fight the former) J & R Music World, and just west of the mucho-crapitudinous Nassau Street Shopping District.”

Made-up citation: "I'm glad I make you feel safe and tingly, Eliza. However, you make me feel mucho-crapitudinous and dizzy. Also, there's a rash."


adj. It seems romance is dead after all.

Real citation: “It can be sweet & sincerly flattering or creepy and restraining-order-ish.”

Made-up citation: "If you've ever seen chickens make love, then you know the barnyard is as creepy and restraining-order-ish as your mom's cottage. Call the police."

Thursday, October 11, 2007


noun. A motherhumper with feminine assets, such as a fortress of moistitude and boobamaphones.

Real citation: “I hugged her and smiled and gave her my card. She will sober up and regret this, but mostly, she will go home, try to use my card as a roach for a joint and then discover it's laminated with cellosheen and she will cough her washboard guts up. Row that, you weird motherfuckeress.”
(July 22, 2004, http://www.ubersite.com/m/39215)

Made-up citation: "I am so bummed out about my dating non-exploits. Where is the right motherfuckeress for me?"


noun. A underling, assistant, or minion who is loathsome and scummy--like fried toe cheese.

Related terms: henchboobs, henchchicken, henchdoofus, henchdork, henchgoon, henchho, henchmoron, henchnoncorporeal being.

Real citation: “Neither Kerry nor his henchscum has been asked or bothered to answer any questions like this; why should they start now. This is the kind of story that if McAuliffe says anything, it will be to brag that he was right about last minute efforts by the Republican to sink Kerry, that this was a perfect example of that desperation and, therefore, didn't deserve a response. The old timey, non-cable media will all nod and move on.”
(Oct. 25, 2004, Free Republic, http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1256168/posts)

Made-up citation: "Come hither, henchscum! Fetch me a virgin and an egg roll--and don't skimp on the duck sauce."


acronym. Best serial killer friends forever. What, didn’t you have a high school yearbook?

Real citation: “This is where my theory breaks down though...unless Rudy is trying to get Dexter to disappear with him so they can be BSKFF.”
(bookwrm89, Dec. 12, 2006, "The Old Dexter Thread," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3143111&view=findpost&p=6834931)

Made-up citation: "I'm pretty sure marrying your BSKFF will disqualify you from joining the FBI, though it does keep a relationship spicy."


noun. Truth twice removed.

Related terms: truthinessless, truthinessy, truthinessish, truthinessology.

Real citation: “Xuitlacoche /Actually who cares if Julia Hobsbawm, daughter of the great Eric Hobsbawm said, *They want us to speak 'truthiness' to power not truth* Piss off. iness. Actually it get greatiness. What funiness 'truthinessiness' lets have more!”
(June 29, Guardian Unlimited, http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/simon_tisdall/2006/06/shouting_not_talking.html)

Made-up citation: "Just thinking about truthinessiness makes me despair. Who am I? Is a bunny a rodent? What happened to Pluto? And why is Odin so cruel..."

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


noun. 1) A rare, medically preposterous procedure. 2) A person who would make you grateful to know a buttwipe.

Related term: assbortion.

Real citation: “Are you...*gasp* saying you want me to have a buttbortion? I'm having this butt baby. I thought you would be happy.”
(Oct. 5, 2006,

Made-up citation: "As a brother, you are a buttbortion. But as a lover, you are a Viking. My Viking."

Massengill bag

noun. A non-generic douchebag.

Real citation: “You are a real maggot. No, I take that back, you are a Massengill bag.”
(Eddie Felson, Jan. 16, 2006, News & Record, http://blog.news-record.com/opinion/letters/archives/2006/01/despite_resigna.shtml)

Made-up citation: "Until today, this word has never been used: Massengill-bag-in-chief. Hint: It's not about your cousin Billy."

Monday, October 08, 2007


noun. The scientific--or at least gung-ho--study of all that is doo-doo-ish and poopistical. Or a terrifying new religion that my liege Odin is not going to care for, believe me. His ravens are horrible... Hold me.

Real citation: “I wonder what religion our world will come up with next…DoodooOlogy? Well I got a laugh anyway, hehe.”
(Sept. 29, 2005, Kathy, I Kick Ass for the Lord, http://www.kickass.4everlasting.com/2005/09/28/tom-cruise-and-the-other-hollywood-idiots/)

Made-up citation: "Doodoo-ology is to buttcrackology as your mom is to my mom, said my son."


noun. Ornithologists and sociologists agree: this is a noble, decent specimen who is in no way shitbirdy.

Real citation: "Zuska argues that it was the male colleague's responsibility as a non-shitbird male to call this guy out on his sexism, and that it's feminist men's responsibility in general to interpolate a feminist critique when their guy friends misspeak or misbehave."
(Lily, Jan. 30, 2007, Formal Dressage Required, http://dresseuse.blogspot.com/2007_01_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "You'll never think of me as a gentleman, Francesca. But could you someday think of me as a non-shitbird?"

Sunday, October 07, 2007


noun. A loathsome cousin of the biscuitwad and the smurfwad.

Real citation: “if it werent for drugs, how much good music would be out there??? god damn you biased moronwad
(stonerboner, April 9, 2002,

Made-up citation: "When a moronwad marries a douchewad, the gene pool weeps."


noun. A famous person who is moderately to severely wankered.

Related terms: celebubot, celebubrat, celebucaust, celebu-chef, celebudude, celebu-ex-con, celebufreak, celebu-gasmic, celebu-idiot, celebu-mediawhore, celebupod, celebu-rexic, celebuspawn, celebu-shambles, celebutard, celebutart, celebutot, celebuturd, celebutwin, celebu-wraith, golden celebutwit triumverate.

Real citation: " At any rate, it was that discussion that informed my view of what would have been to me just another idiot celebudrunk story."
(May 5, 2006, The Malcontent, http://malcontent.typepad.com/malcontent/2006/05/freddy_quimby_m.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm halfway toward my goal of being America's next celebudrunk. The only downside? The grain alcohol goggles. "


verb. To smarten up, reversing the effects of de-edumacation and strengthening the thinkbone.

Related terms: un-dumbassify.

Real citation: “Johnson subtly picked up where Joe McCarthy left off, scaring us with “creeping communism” in Southeast Asia. It was obvious that the USSR and China were helping out the North. The superpowers were fighting each other, albeit indirectly. At least Vietnam was perceived that way which is the reason it took so long for the American people to dedumbassify.”
(Feb. 23, 2007, Freeze Frame, http://www.newhumanist.com/2007/02/dumbassification-of-america.html)

Made-up citation: "If I'm elected, I will dedumbassify our society and put a hot dog in every bun. Phase two will address social security and mass sterilization. Then I'll nap with my binkie."


adj. Fantastically having something to do with the one true God: Mr. Odin. I'm telling you, Norse is the way to go, people.

Real citation: “Plus I just got the latest Manowar album. True metal Odin-tastic!”
(July 20, 2007, http://greynolds.livejournal.com/)

Made-up citation: "Wednesday is the most Odin-tastic day of the week, because on a Wednesday long, long ago, Odin humped 59 trolls in 12 minutes. Now that's a deity."

Friday, October 05, 2007


adj. It's a boy! Or a truck with bumper nuts.

Real citation: “But all that combined with the knowledge that these figures were riding in a bescrotumed truck, well, it's just too much.”
(June 28, 2006, dreadcrumbs, http://www.dreadcrumbs.com/2006/06/index.html)

Made-up citation: "Sigh. I am bedeviled with problems. I am also bescrotumed with parasites. Alas!"


adj. If you regularly use words like hootchie-wad and poop-stick, this may apply to you. Also if there are Spaghettio's on your bib.

Related term: great-grand-crotchfruit.

Real citation: “Ok, it's very childish (crotchfruitish?) of me. But it's too funny not to spread around. And Mondays are always long days.”
(Jan. 23, 2006, http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.listAll&friendID=4298898&startID=86540494&StartPostedDate=2006-02-10%2017:27:00&next=1&page=2&Mytoken=D81E1434-1D1E-4041-83EE9F5754FF277B97568616)

Made-up citation: "Oh yeah? Well, maybe I am crotchfruitish, but so's your mother's face. You're a real pain in the Charlie Browns."

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


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adj. That's just called polite where I come from.

Real citation: “Was it a conspiracy? I doubt it (that would require too much competence), but it's something close. A little to reach-around-y, if you know what I mean.”
(April 13, 2006, The Cocklebur Blog, http://aimnewmedia.net/charalambous/forum/viewtopic.php?forum=1&showtopic=11106&show=10&page=7)

Made-up citation: "When writing your wedding vows, we encourage creativity but don't recommend words like 'reach-around-y' and 'Satan-in-law'."


noun. This describes you if black cats and other evil portents give you the heebie-jeebies, the creeps, an ulcer, and the wiggins. Boooooooo!

Related term: stitious.

Real citation: “My mom's not just superstitious, she's megastitious. She's emailed my sister and I this chain mail today. My sister has multiple email accounts so mom emails it to her many mnay times...so she gets enough people in so she doesn't end up having bad luck forever, or whatever. Anyway, I thought this one was very funny and had to share.”
(Sept. 3, 2007, Post Punk Kitchen, http://www.postpunkkitchen.com/forum/viewtopic.php?pid=682545)

Made-up citation: "Despite my atheistic ways, I can be megastitious. If you gave me thirteen cupcakes made of gold and rainbows, I think I'd run the other way."


noun. They invented a word just for your mom! That’s got to hurt.

Real citation: “While Grade-B Scumbag Ted Haggard is featured in the film, and gives rather dubious advice to Levi, the aspiring minister, he’s quite fortunately not the focus of the film. The focus is generally on Becky Fisher, the leader of the camp, and several of the camp’s attendees. Had it focused more on the pre-exposed Haggard, it’d have been a colossal waste of time, because Haggard is the same obvious hypocrite, yesterday, today, and forever. (This clip from “The Root of All Evil” of Haggard Lecturing Richard Dawkins about "intellectual arrogance" is a potent demonstration of Haggard’s scumbagliness and inherent dishonesty (gay prostitution, infidelity, and methamphetamines aside… it’s impossible for Haggard to be “intellectually arrogant” because he’s lacking any semblance of actual intellectualism.)”
(Dec. 19, 2006, Outchurched, http://outchurched.com/2006/12/19/jesus-camp-one-punk-under-god.html)

Made-up citation: "A new study shows scumbagliness is highly correlated with douchebagliness. Research on bags of all sorts is ongoing."

Tuesday, October 02, 2007


noun. The study of deep, penetrating issues pertaining to the corpus callosum of your tush.

Real citation: “When it comes to sexual taboos however, it becomes a test of tolerance. ‘I don't like seeing a woman's butt crack’ begats ‘Eeeegads! In certain cultures the butt-crack is a symbol of unity and peace! I'm perfectly happy with ass crack!’ which inspires ‘Jesus made you hate buttcracks! Go back to your monastery! I lovez me some buttcracks and have a Phd..in buttcrackology!’ which invites ‘Buttcracks have a right to be seen. Don't like it? Go to another country!’”
(Spackling Compound, Aug. 22, 2005, http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=75365&page=22)

Made-up citation: "If someone is smart enough to go to medical school and become a proctologist, shouldn't they be smart enough to go to medical school and not become a proctologist? Or was the siren song of buttcrackology just too compelling?"


noun. An unclefucker who is suitable for all audiences--and may be a chicken.

Real citation: “Listen here uncleplucker!”
(May 28, 2007, The Student Room, http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=397593&page=2)

Made-up citation: "One man's uncleplucker is another's monkey's uncle, according to my aunt."

Monday, October 01, 2007


noun. A handy tool--like a can-opener for armageddon.

Real citation: “The Rapture-o-matic now fully automated on auto-pilot veering dangerously to the right coming soon to a nation near you”
(Aug. 9, 2007, firedoglake, http://www.firedoglake.com/2007/08/09/one-thing-voters-agree-on/)

Made-up citation: "One-day sale! For true believers: rapture-o-matics and harps. For the damned: big axes and duct tape for the apocalyptic showdown."


adj. Embodying neither the spontaneity of a puppy nor the eloquence of a poet.

Real citation: “need to cleanse your palate after bush's drivelicious teleprompterrific state of the union lie-fest?”
(Jan. 31, 2006, ultranow, http://ultranow.typepad.com/ultranow/spelling_bees/index.html)

Made-up citation: "My halting, insincere, teleprompterrific speaking style has impeded both my personal life and promising career as a spokesfuckhead."