Monday, November 30, 2009


noun. A moment of joy. And gluttony. And pie.

Real citation: "sweet-potato-pie-gasm"
(Nov. 27, 2009, rachael1042, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I need a wife who can give me multiple sweet-potato-pie-gasms. I won't settle for reverse cowgirl."

Sunday, November 29, 2009


adj. All the news that's fit-y-ish to print.

Real citation: "Palin whines: Couric asked 12 different times about abortion. It's called "follow-up," Ma'am. It's journalist-ic-y-ish stuff."
(Nov. 16, 2009, Andy Cobb, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "My background is journalist-ic-y-ish... In fact, I was the first American journalist to report on the smurf-leprechaun war. Suck on that, CNN."

Saturday, November 28, 2009


adj. Ned Flanders in Playgirl?

Real citation: "Nu-diddly-ude. I still laugh at the irony that the Playboy CEO is named Flanders #immaturity #simpsons"
(Nov. 24, 2009, Kevin Kosh, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "In college, I was
nu-diddly-ude in a play. I'd do it again, if howler monkeys started yodeling out of my butt."

Friday, November 27, 2009


noun. Doctors call this a major, major, major "owie".

Real citation: "Flavor Flav's hype-disbelief LIES, Twin Peaks and Joy Orbison's name-pun-mageddon:"
(Nov. 19, 2009, A New Band a Day, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I'll take a blood-pocalypse over a name-pun-mageddon any day. I have a low tolerance for pain."

Thursday, November 26, 2009


noun. Is there such a thing? I'm an atheist on the matter.

Real citation: "@Colorhungry please tell me where to join! I'm officially nauseated from over-butter-ization of the corny-ness."
(Nov. 14, 2009, Josie Maurer, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Don't blame the cook for over-butter-ization. Blame him for snorkeling your wife. Priorities, dude!"

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

vampire moistness disorder

noun phrase. An affliction as common as swine flu or being a buttmunch.

Real citation: "So there you have it Ms Harker’s list of Fantastic Seductive Vampires, it is by no means exhaustive, however is guaranteed to give you a serious case of Vampire Moistness Disorder."
(Oct. 10, 2009, Musings Across a Continuum,

Made-up citation: "I don't understand vampire moistness disorder... I'm only attracted to smurfs."

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


adj. English-y-esque-ish

Real citation: "Britsh-y-esque-ish?!"
(Nov. 14, 2009, TokikoChan, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I'm not too British-y-esque-ish. I wouldn't know a scone if it shaved my balls."

Monday, November 23, 2009


noun. Not an asset in all situations, no matter what your mom says.

Real citation: "And thanks, @opineda, for bringing @katsterisk's vile douchebaggery to my attention. Her moist morning crotchface-itude."
(Nov. 12, 2009, Laurie Hayes, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "The Old and New Testaments have divergent teachings on crotchface-itude, according to the Bible."

Sunday, November 22, 2009


noun. Scientifically speaking, it is time to hit the sack. Suck on that, peer-review process.

Real citation: "Leading bedtime-ologist:"
(Nov. 7, 2009, Summer Leigh, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Parents are great bedtime-ologists--or so they think. Actually, the healthiest bedtime for a child is 4 a.m., and most children don't need shelter or food."

Saturday, November 21, 2009


noun. Of all the body parts, feet are most prone to an apocalypse.

Real citation: "almost had a shoe-tastrophe on Metra's escalator. My beautiful shoe was stuck in the gap with my foot as I stepped on."
(Nov. 9, 2009, Caroline Hill-Thomas, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I've never had a shoe-tastrophe, but I've lived through many ear-wax-geddons. *shiver*"

Friday, November 20, 2009


noun. Beer *is* human. I can prove it by marrying one.

Real citation: "Prediction: RedEye's headline for story mentioned in preceding tweet: 'Oh, the Brew-manity!'"
(Nov. 11, 2009, Zac Thompson, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "There is no statute of limitations for crimes against brew-manity. Yes, honey, I'm still upset about that time you spilled my beer in Pittsburgh."

Thursday, November 19, 2009


noun. A type of hairmageddon.

Real citation: "Tonight We Herald The Coming Mustache-alypse."
(Nov. 12, 2009, Marc Brubaker, Houstonist,

Made-up citation: "The mustache-alypse has long been foretold! A lot of these prophets were real hair nazis."

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


adj. Mechanical... Evil... Sexy... Clone-y... Um, can I have some privacy?

Real citation: "Take that Space Faucet! Ok, it's not from space, but it is chromey and Cylon-istic looking."
(Nov. 7, 2009, senorpaco, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I need to be more Cylon-istic. I bet I'll get more dates and destroy more civilizations that way."

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


noun. Lactose-gasm!

Real citation: "I just poured milk all over this ice cream. It's a dairy-splosion. (Seriously though, try it.)"
(Nov. 14, 2009, Amy Y., Twitter,

Made-up citation: "If I bathe in milk stout, does that count as a
dairy-splosion? Or just garden-variety alcoholism?"

Monday, November 16, 2009


verb. It often happens to a smurf who was bleached.

Real citation: "Getting my hair re-blue-ified."
(Nov. 12, 1009, Katie Bechtold, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I re-blue-ified my foot. Or maybe I'm just dead? Save me, Thor!"

Sunday, November 15, 2009


noun. A staple of the television genre, going back to the first time Sam and Diane had sex with Howard Cosell.

Real citation: "going to watch the Prison Break special-post-finale-thingy-mabob and sort out the crap I've collected the last three years! #fb"
(June 1, 2009, Mike Thomas, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I miss The Shield. And not for any special-post-finale-thingy-mabobs. There's never been a character like Vic Mackey, who could find a place in your heart while planting evidence in your pocket. Sigh."

Saturday, November 14, 2009


noun. A place where your bippy is an owie.

Real citation: "If you remember this about all of us here in Hurt-butt-istan, that we're all Buddhas-to-be, then there's no danger of dehumanizing."
(, link dead)

Made-up citation: "I don't want to go to Hurt-butt-istan again! Spank another disciple, Oprah!"

Friday, November 13, 2009


noun. That's like saying the orcs control both political parties. Duh, it's the smurfs!

Real citation: "oversimplification-palooza provided by Andy Kessler #defragcon"
(Nov. 11, 2009, Ian Glazer, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Most teaching seems to involve giving students one oversimplification-palooza after another. But that's not how I teach. There's nothing like voodoo and ninja throwing stars to enhance critical thinking and convey complexity, believe me."

Thursday, November 12, 2009


noun. Firm. Strong. Dare I say "buns of steel"?

Real citation: "On my last post Kathie commented on the non-squooshy-ness of my butt as I commented on her blog on it's squooshy-ness. (And then she squooshied and I squooshied and she knew I squooshied and I knew she knew I squooshied.)"
(Jan. 20, 2006, The Absent Minded Housewife,

Made-up citation: "I admire the non-squooshy-ness of your body. Yet I fear the giant spears of your henchgoons. What a pickle."

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


noun. A Samurai with feminine wiles--and feminine swords too.

Real citation: "Tarantino fans take note, this six-issue Marvel miniseries (which concludes this week as issue 6 hits the racks) was made for you. Originally created by Marvel in the '70s, deadly Samurai-ette Colleen Wing and tough talking ex-cop Misty Knight - who easily could be mistaken for Beatrix "The Bride" Kiddo and Jackie Brown respectively - return to prominence as bail bondswomen who make a living tracking down B-list costumed villains who evade the law. While "Daughters" is in no way groundbreaking, it is nothing if not fun. Full of over-the-top martial arts violence, cheesy dialog and oddball villains who most likely haven't seen print for decades, this is pure comic book escapism."
(July 19, 2006, Online Athens,

Made-up citation: "I just want to date one Samurai-ette before I die, probably at her hands... Is that too much to ask?"

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


noun. The science of yada yada whatever, man.

Real citation: "Finally, I have immersed myself in science classes during the spring semester. I am currently taking 19 credits of blah-blah-blah-ology, and I embrace the elegance of scientific methods. I engraved the entire purine salvage pathway on a grain of basmati rice, and composed an interpretive dance that captures the drama of the aortic arch. I believe both of these activities demonstrate my preparation for success in the academic rigors of your medical school."
(April 20, 2006, Student Doctor Network Forums,

Made-up citation: "I'm so glad I majored in blah-blah-blah-ology. I would hate to have wasted my life."

Monday, November 09, 2009


adj. May require the services of a proctologistette.

Real citation: "But other then that, they would have to use treks trick of using Bullshit'itrons and tachiospasmatically induced Pull-out-of-arse-omatic chambers. Or just have a twin brother who has the same genetic memory as Aphosis... which is actually a valid plot twist in Stargate"
(Dec. 19, 2002,,

Made-up citation: "I resist all pull-out-of-arse-omatic activities. My brain just feels right in there. Nice and snug."

Sunday, November 08, 2009


noun. Hey, eggs are human too.

Real citation: "Dont laugh... my chickens have been eating their own eggs since the first time it rained last year! They were kept inside their pen and weren't allowed to free range around the yard for about three days.. they were bored and cranky and found and egg and comitted crimes against egg-manity :) They haven't forgotten how good they taste either! (Ewww)"
(Dec. 13, 2005, ABC Online Forum,

Made-up citation: "As a little kid, I hated eggs, so I missed out on many delicious dishes. Hey, at least I wasn't at war with egg-manity, a conflict no one can win."

Saturday, November 07, 2009


verb. Hootchie-kootchie-ing and so forth, I reckon.

Real citation: "And tell him that while he'll have a blast with you two, he shouldn't pass on a date with a potential boyfriend—but so long as you three are friends-with-benefiting-it-up, you would like to be informed about any other sexual contacts he might have."
(Aug. 20, 2009, Dan Savage, The Stranger,

Made-up citation: "Humans aren't the only species renowned for friends-with-benefiting-it-up. Some of those hump-happy hounds in the park aren't even dating!"

Friday, November 06, 2009


noun. Not quite as popular as nunsploitation. For obvious reasons.

Real citation: "If you're into Japanese exploitation films, try 'Birds of Prey.' I guess it would qualify as teacher-ploitation. One suspects that every vocation that traditionally employs young women has probably got its own exploitation genre in Japan."
(July 28, 2006, 2 Blowhards,

Made-up citation: "I've directed many teacher-ploitation classics. My best pic was probably Gym Teachers on the Moon."

Thursday, November 05, 2009


noun. A chicken-fight with your cousin may not qualify.

Real citation: "Additionally, I feel as if path-finding isn’t quite as good in this game as it had been in Men Of War. It’s exacerbated enormously by the problems with the boats, so much so that I went back and played the original to check. Of course it’s exactly the same engine, and so the same glitchiness is still there: men retracing their steps before actually setting off in the direction you’ve pointed them in. Nevertheless it does seem more prevalent in Red Tide. Perhaps that’s because of the boats, or because of the amount of focus on small unit action, where you’re focusing on the exploits of just a few men. The up-scale enormo-battles are here, but I they’re not quite as regular as in the original."
(Nov. 3, 2009, Jim Rossignol, Rock, Paper, Shotgun,

Made-up citation: "Is America prepared for the coming enormo-battle with the smurfs? I hope so. Those blue bastards aren't afraid to pee on your carpet. Or did you do that again, sis? I hate my life."

Wednesday, November 04, 2009


adj. May indicate a not-so-pleasant disposition toward the penis-having.

Real citation: "I feel man hate-y-ish..."
(Aug. 20, 2009, Tiffany Robles, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I can't blame women for being
man-hate-y-ish. I can't blame the Yeti either, for entirely different reasons I cannot disclose."

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Hall & Oates Repressed Memory Syndrome

noun phrase. The silent killer? I wish.

Real citation: "@markaelrod @sarahnbay Sorry, Hall & Oates Repressed Memory Syndrome is one of several curses for my generation. (See also, Air Supply)"
(Oct. 31, 2009, Jimmy Shaw, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "No one knows how many families are affected by Hall & Oates Repressed Memory Syndrome, but we believe it's highly correlated with organ thievery."

Monday, November 02, 2009


adj. Poser-y, I reckon.

Real citation: "Wtf. My sister is so wannabe-istic. HAHA. remember jane? (;"
(Oct. 29, 2009,
nadhirah jamaludin, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Norse mythology fails to record what a
wannabe-istic god Thor really was. Also, Jesus had a much bigger hammer, which he often used to bludgeon merchants and elves."

Sunday, November 01, 2009


noun. A real cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs-palooza.

Real citation: "Just once I want to post something cool about Apollo w/o the comments turning into an Apollo Denier nutbuggeryfest."
(Oct. 30, 2009, Phil Plait, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I wouldn't call my family reunion a nutbuggeryfest... That's for the medical profession and SWAT team to decide."