Wednesday, January 31, 2007


adj. Somewhat like a dillweed and presumably not unlike a dickweed.

Related terms: dillholish, dillwadish.

Real citation: "Even I, although I'm new to UU, know many here personally, and know of many more of you through the grapevine. It seems strange that people who know each other would be 'dillweedish' to each other online, but perhaps not so much in person."
(invitation, Oct. 20, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I often become dillweedish in situations that require patience, but I am fighting my inner George Costanza with mediation and Miller Lite.


adj. Totally lacking lexically motivated apeshitness.

Real citation: "So mrs_cake's preference for "there is a large number of reasons" puts her very much in the modern minority, though more in tune with the fashions of earlier times. But again, no one should hit her -- this is a word-rage-free zone."
(Mark Liberman, "There's a bunch of reasons -- or are there?," Jan. 13, 2007, Language Log,

Made-up citation: "Though I am usually word-rage-free and don't fret about punctuation, I do get a little hot when I see quotation marks used for emphasis. Jackie Chan 'Movies' is an insult, not an advertisement! God damn it."

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

by Odin's balls

exclamation. A testicular, Norse exclamation.

Related expression: by Zeus' balls.

Real citation: "For those with Quicktime, these movies are just great -- and TOTALLY SAFE TO WATCH AT WORK. Well, that is, if your work doesn't mind you using their internet connection to watch a -- really well done -- nine-minute viking story. By Odin's balls, that's good stuff."
(Bruno Pieroni, July 13, 2004,

Made-up citation: "By Odin's balls and Thor's hammer! Let's get this tasteful erotica film started."


present participle. Some reverse yoinkage; a gift.

Related terms: unyoink, unyoinked, beyoinked.

Real citation: "this unyoinking brought to you by Dath Max,everybody loves a Dath Max, so why not get one today!"
(Hermie, Sept. 7, 2005, Echobase,

Made-up citation: "As an independent contractor, I am on the bad end of some unyoinking come tax time."

Monday, January 29, 2007


noun. Hearts are wrenched, souls are rent, smurfs are get the idea.

Real citation: "I am now wiping away a tear. A tear of poignantitude."
(SJ, Dec. 10, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I'm a single, male professional who appreciates Battlestar Galactica, midnight strolls, the Phoenix Suns, poignantitude, and corn dogs."


noun. Excitement central it's not.

Real citation: "As for Starbuck, and her destiny I really, really, really don't want her to be a cylon, or some kind of God, or dead. But I will take ANY of these over the Starpollo borefest-a-rama. That is all."
(IdaTeeter, "They Have A Plan?!: SPOILER DISCUSSION," Jan. 12, 2007, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "I love Sundays: even a borefest-a-rama is pleasant."

Sunday, January 28, 2007


noun. Um, your definition is as good as mine. Help?

Real citation: "Well, every single one of them broke the look off after less than a second. Even when I was smiling, even when I had a silly-ass grin on my face from singing along (like 70% of the people in the bar) to old songs...just a near-instant look-away. Fuck-diddly-ola. I can't tell whether I'm just that ugly, or whether I'm intimidating for some reason."
(CarterBoe, Feb. 8, 2003,

Made-up citation: "Maybe 'fuck-diddly-ola' is a unit of measurement in the neighborhood of jack-diddly-fucking-shit-squat."


noun. Macho headgames, ultimate fighting, or other testosterone-propelled stuff.

Real citation: "Of course, there's the literal balls in the movie: every guy's nuts being blown off or ripped out. Then there's the testosteroniness of the movie, with every guy narrating his macho philosophy and every woman being a hooker or stripper."

Made-up citation: "A blood test detects testosterone, but testosteroniness is usually manifested in wardrobe and DVD collections."

Thursday, January 25, 2007


noun. Crotch-killing heels.

Real citation: "Careful laddies! Yon Hobbit is after our precious Gonads! (gak)I was under the impression these groinfruit-destroyers were called "Stilletos". What's the difference? *Ignorant*"
(July 29, 2005, The Ministry of Abnormality,;u=269;sa=showPosts)

Made-up citation: "If you dream of an army of fembots in groinfruit-destroyers, you will enjoy many great successes in business."


adj. Oh the humanity! Sort of.

Real citation: "a'ight so i'm listnin' to dylan, bob highway sixty-one revisited am blown away by the inhumanesque skill he has with words it's like a dictionary thesaurus and rhyming dictionary had offspring and one of 'em possessed him"
(Vincent Paschke, Dec. 1, 2004,

Made-up citation: "To err is human--to pee on the couch, inhumanesque."

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


noun. A marginally naughtier non-buttmunch.

Real citation: "That's enough to jar a fragile ego off its axis. Twats like that believe on some level that they've a divine right to deference from everyone 'under' them, so when they encounter a non-assmunch, it's like walking into a door!"
(Andy Sword, July 14, 2006, Biohazard Forums,

Made-up citation: "I've worked many hours trying to be a non-assmunch. But I can no longer escape my destiny!"


noun. Somewhere between the hosebeast and the sexpot, this marvelous rung on the evolutionary ladder can be found.

Real citation: "Showing the naked knuckerhole is not a new trend. Cutting-edger Paris Hilton did it long before she was just Paris. Exposing one's va-jay-jay (as all the kids call it) must be the new haute couture, but only if you are a desperate, attention-seeking, sloppy hosepot."
(Dawn Olsen, "Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton Have Holes In Their Wardrobes," Sept. 14, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I'm a single male professional looking for a hellbeastish, hamster-kissing, humanitariany hosepot. Cuddling required."

Monday, January 22, 2007


noun. The delicate procedure of eliminating wank-worthy filth or grade-A wankerness, both of which are tough to get out of a carpet.

Real citation: "And dayam, Siegfried was a little wanker back then, wasn't he. It's a tad cliche, but he's pretty cool now. (SC3 version has the same voice as Balmung from .hack, doesn't he?) So Namco has discovered...DEWANKIFICATION!"
(Andy00, Nov. 5, 2005, Videogame Recaps,

Made-up citation: "'Denastification' is in the OED, but 'dewankification' can't catch a break."


adj. Could be someone's having a spasmgasm.

Real citation: "ok...i ask that you PLEASE remove the dancing girl. she creeps me out with her gyrationish bod"
(Mystery girl, Dec. 10, 2006,

Made-up citation: "The gyrationish writhings of my puppy when he's playing are a reminder to buy crack-free dog food."

Sunday, January 21, 2007


adj. Fantastically, Jeebusly Christlike.

Real citation: "Tommy: Well that’s it for tonight’s show. Join us next Monday for another Jeebustastic episode. G’d night folks!"
(Daggeron, Aug. 7, 2006,

Made-up citation: "It is not Jeebustastic to take from the poor with one hand and text-message a 14-year-old boy with the other."


adj. Looking for a tenacious focus on testicles? Look no more.

Real citation: "Honey, I know you're pretty balls-centric right now, and that's coming out in your post here, but I feel someone should tell you: no matter what your mama's telling you, they are just NOT going to drop."
(Blade, June 15, 2005,

Made-up citation: "My neutered puppy is going through a humping renaissance. No pooch nor limb remains unhumped for long. Should I neuter him again or seek a less balls-centric explanation?"

Thursday, January 18, 2007


noun. A quality possessed by those who well and truly be fucked.

Related terms: befucked, befuckery.

Real citation: "USC vs. OU: Profiles in befuckitude"
(Omar, Jan. 4, 2005,

Made-up citation: "I often wallow in my befuckitude, but at least I don't write poems about it."


adj. Deliciously oblivious.

Real citation: "No one seemed to catch on. :O) Oblivilicious."
(Wren, July 3, 2003,

Made-up citation: "Welcome reaper! How I have longed for thee, oh sweet oblivilicious death!"

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


noun. A dildo-y quality or essence.

Real citation: "This just torques me off! I try and be respectful of differing opinions, and I think everyone here does a good job of that. However, I lose total respect for anyone who uses propaganda as a form of debating, and ignoring history is a sign of downright dildonicness.(just made that word up.) To me, if someone states an opinion, but then is not objective enough to recognize factual data, they are a complete tool and it's open season for ridicule."
(calean007, Feb. 25, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Both the pontiff and his papal scepter share a certain dildonicness."


noun. Semen with magical--er, medical--powers.

Real citation: "Between the stethescope on the door, relevations about Chase's stamina, and the boyfriend's Jizzicillin....I think the TWOP title for this episode ought to be "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Semen"
(Hermanshead, "2-16: "Safe" 2006.04.04," April 4, 2006, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "9 out of 10 doctors who recommend jizzicillin now are well-medicated in prison."

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


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fart knockee

noun. The yin to the fart knocker's yang.

Real citation: "technically speaking, the um... person in the rearward position is the knocker of the farts. the farts do belong to the forward partner, but they are the fart knockee."
(Anita Handle, Nov. 15, 2003,

Made-up citation: "In every marriage, there is a fart knocker and a fart knockee, according to Dr. Phil."

Monday, January 15, 2007

assticular region

noun. The wazoo.

Related terms: butticular region, nether regions, groinal regions, crotchal regions, buttockial region, woman region, man region,

Real citation: "You can imagine how much fun trimming her poop stank butt was, mmm hmm. Orange Cat is very fluffy with a great deal of fluff centralized in the assticular region. I tried using her tail as a handle, but damn, homegirl is bendy like Gumby. Sharp-ass razor teeth too."
(Aug. 11, 2004,

Made-up citation: "I'm spending too much time on my assticular region...I wish I could write a book while playing basketball."


adj. Poof. Money go bye-bye. Suck on that, shareholders.

Real citation: "OK. Well (in what'll sound like the Understatement of the Year) there are of course varying degrees of intelligence among criminals. I should've amended my statement to refer more to petty criminals, because I wasn't thinking of white-collary, embezzlementy, stock fraudy types of Abramoffs Delays doofi."
(KNolan, Jan. 19, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Embezzlementy crimes have the stain of respectability, while robbing strangers with a tire iron is purely scummy."

Sunday, January 14, 2007


noun. This is a tad redundant. Don't use it in your dissertation.

Real citation: "i'd rather have a crotchgasm"
(Mandy, Sept. 30, 2004,

Made-up citation: "When writing your wedding vows, 'crotchgasm' and 'Sir Spooge-a-lot' are terms to avoid."


noun. Dude. Check out the blasphemy.

Real citation: "What? No motorcycle chase in "Fat Albert?" Will this be a bigger blasphemosity than "I, Robot?" Is William Hung? At what age did Victor Mature? Is KingKlash ever going to get a Green Lantern symbol tattoed on his ring finger? And what of Cassandra Sakura Dmitri Heiselburg St. Bernard's plan to market press-on jeans? The saga continues......"
(kingklash, April 20, 2004,

Made-up citation: "I enjoy idioms that are full of blasphemosity, such as 'sweet Mother Mary on a motorboat!' and 'Jesus shit howdy!' They make me happy."

Thursday, January 11, 2007


noun. A real specific kind of fucker.

(Nov. 4, 2002,

Made-up citation: "How did you know I was a fuckwadface? Was it my face?"


noun. Look deep into the eyes of some enthralled motherfucker, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "As in a swoon, my enthrallitude was bisected by the sudden tonitruation of conflatulence."
(anonyMoses, Dec. 18, 2004,

Made-up citation: "I watched the President's speech with something less than raging enthrallitude. '20,000 more troops' caught my ear though."

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


adj. A common way of greeting the world for our patron skank and others.

Real citation: "Although they provided plenty of fodder for your run of the mill radical feminists, and a perfect platform from which to decry the 'American standard of beauty' that only seems to be super-skinny when Americans aren't involved (the average size of American women ranges between a 12 and a 14), it turns out that most of them were either being given horse hormones by Hollywood stylist Rachel Zoe, or inhaling crack by the bucket. They are, apparently, still demonstrably women; having apparently traded their delicate underthings for drugs, since at some point during the year, all of them landed ladyparts-first on a paparazzi camera."
(E. M. Zanotti, "The Fact That Its 2007 Is Not A Deterrent," Jan. 1, 2007,

Made-up citation: "According to my gymnastics instructor, a ladyparts-first landing from this height is not recommended by doctors."


adj. Boneriffic. Because of that priapism thing.

Real citation: "These aspects were clearly something that Caesariano in his Cosmo Vitruvius of 1521 did not understand, as his drawing shows an unresolved and literal draughting of the original flat man with his unfeasibly lengthy feet, hands and arms --not to mention his priaptastic penis."
(Johnny Rodger, 2005, The Drouth,

Made-up citation: "If I had a priaptastic woody lasting more than four hours, like they mention in the commercials, I'd either slam it in the window or audition for one of those commercials."

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


noun. Like agitation, if you replaced the agitation with boobs.

Real citation: "I probably will take a look just out of boredom more than anything. If I want to see boobitation I can just look down; at least I know where mine have been."
(LottaMoxie, "Picking Up Transmissions: Speculation With Spoilers," Jan. 5, 2007, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "Many admirers of boobitation find my website when they are searching for robo-dirigibles or boob-tastic-osity."


adverb. 1. Absolutely crappy. 2. Absocrappinglutely.

Related terms: Related terms: absodiddly, absoforking, absofracking, absofreaking, absofricking, absofucking, absoshitly, absosmurfing.

Real citation: "absocraply amazing"
(sufx, Feb. 23, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I absocraply believe in jinxes, but I'm not too sure about were-beasts and archdeacons."

Monday, January 08, 2007


adj. Spectacularly grandma-like.

Related terms: grandmatastic, grandmalicious.

Real citation: "NPR has been asking some tough questions this week. Most in the "yeah, but you're bombing neighborhoods, airports and stuff" vein. Even the grandmatacular Dianne Rehm has been jumping down people's shit."
(alex maiolo, July 20, 2006, Electrical Audio,

Made-up citation: "I'd have no dates at all without online dating, but I'm a little weary of women who post ads with spry, youthful pics then turn out to be grandmatacular in person. Are they deluded, deceitful, or just deranged?"


noun. An assmunch of great proportions.

Real citation: "How many names does megabuttmunch have to use before he figures out how to spell his own name?"
(May 23, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Though I'm a megabuttmunch in most fields and endeavors, I've become the Tiger Woods of Connect Four."

Sunday, January 07, 2007


adj. Dark and disturbing and female and hot and too young for you to be looking at, asswad.

Real citation: "This is Danella, looking all goth-seductressy. You can't really see, but she's wearing a reeeally awesome pair o' boots."
(Spring 2004, "Tales From the Bar,"

Made-up citation: "Words that won't be necessary in my obituary: abs of steel, goth-seductressy, faith, Wilt Chamberlain-esque."


noun. Caution: may contain fetish-like substance.

Real citation: "I think basicly, as long as the fetish ball is a horns and halos production, the problems that most of the people I have talked with about won't ever be resolved. Big bands and letting frat boys in makes more money, even though it cuts down on the quality of the fetishishness (tm)."
(lionaz, May 30, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Is my enthusiasm for women's fingernails a sign of fetishishness? Um, maybe."

Thursday, January 04, 2007


adj. Before the sugar-frosted process of schmoopification has commenced.

Related terms: schmoopiness, non-schmoopy, schmooping, schmooped, schmoopage, schmoopitude, schmoopery, schmoopification, de-schmoopify.

Real citation: "For examples I've picked out some of my favorite quotes, listed below. Also there's little stuff, like, Spike without a chip is pre-schmoopification Spike. And Evil Willow is Cruella De Will."
("Happy Hunting,"

Made-up citation: "When dating, there are certain rules to be followed during the pre-schmoopification process. If you have a clue what they are, let me know."


adj. Cuckoo for crack. Or just cuckoo.

Related terms: Count Crackula, crack-pipe-worthy, crackadocious, crack on one's cornflakes.

Real citation: "Known psycho Heather Mills and her gullible knight, Paul McCartney, take this year's prize for the year's biggest no-duh-divorce, fending off competition from Pam Anderson and Kid Rock by virtue of having been married for more than 35 seconds and from Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown by virtue of not being crack-challenged."
(Rebecca Traister, "So long, sugar tits!," Dec. 31, 2006,

Made-up citation: "My dog likes to writhe around like a furry, crack-challenged loonball. It is amusing."

Wednesday, January 03, 2007


adj. No sir, not sucky.

Real citation: "Also, I am working on the side on some actual VISUAL art! *shock* Hopefull it will be non-suckitudinous enough to post here."
(Dec. 26, 2004,

Made-up citation: "I want to wish all readers of this blog a non-suckitudinous new year."


noun. A doofus-y everyman, emblematic of the doofus who lurks in the hearts of all.

Real citation: "America's favorite everydoofus plays Henry, a commitment-phobic veterinarian at an aquarium in Hawaii."
(Daniel Goldberg, Feb 16, 2004,

Made-up citation: "There's a big difference between an everydoofus and an everymoron. I learned that in grad school."

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


noun. Hose--the tallywhacker kind.

Real citation: "At the moment our story begins, this very lucky pissoir has none other than Eminem's (yes, Eminem's!) own floppy skinhose dangling wiggerishly in its chilly porcelain maw."
(Adrian Ryan, "Celebrity I Saw U," July 20, 2006, The Stranger,

Made-up citation: "In elementary school, I remember a kid named Gary defining a dickhead as 'someone who walks around with his skinhose hanging out.' I also remember some nuns and dodge balls."


noun. USA! USA!

Real citation: "The night ended with an all-star jam, peaking in triumphancy when Mikie Petrie of Bohemian Knuckleboogie (and formerly of Boomshanka) jumped up on stage with his trumpet to create a glorious moment of victorious fistpumpery."

Made-up citation: "Rah-rah and fistpumpery weren't my strong suits as a summer camp counselor. I did plan interesting activities, like an exorcism."

Monday, January 01, 2007


noun. A clusterfuck acceptable for use during Sunday prayers.

Related terms: clusterboink, clusterduck, clusterfiretruck, clusterfornicate, clusterfrack, clusterfreak, clusterfrell, clusterfrick, clusterfrig, clusterfug, clusterhump, clusterplook, clusterpork, clusterschmuck, clustersmurf.

Real citation: "Oh there is definitely a group that controls this clustercoitus."
(Anonymous Coward, April 11, 2006,

Made-up citation: "For my new year's resolutions, I plan to exercise more, eat less, and avoid clustercoituses."


noun. A bouncer of the female-ier sex.

Real citation: "MistJenif (Savoy design wench and bouncerette)"
(MistJenif, Feb. 1, 1996,

Made-up citation: "If you call a bouncerette a bouncerette, your balls may soon be bouncing around the inside of her glove compartment."