Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Professor Fuckfacehead

noun. A title you don't even need to go to graduate school to acquire.

Real citation: "Off to Harbour Town for 18...someone please let professor fuckfacehead know, will ya?"
(Schlongy, Oct. 29, 2004, http://www.ubersite.com/m/50029)

Made-up citation: "Don't call me Professor Fuckfacehead again. I prefer Dr. Shitwadbrain."


noun. Say bye-bye to mental matter! Possibly through a straw!

Related terms: admiree, anus lickee, avengee, ball lickee, beatifee, besmirchee, betrayee, bitee, burnee, car-jackee, clobberee, cock and ball torturee, complimentee, consumee, counselee, cradle-robee, crapee, crushee, decapitatee, disectee, disparagee, downsizee, excommunicatee, exorcisee, filmee, fist fuckee, floodee, Frenchee, gawkee, giftee, golden showeree, gropee, headee, impeachee, killee, kissee, lecturee, lickee, likee, litigatee, lustee, massagee, mindfuckee, moldee, molestee, moochee, motivatee, mugee, murderee, nursee, obsessee, oglee, peggee, pervee, pervertee, piercee, pimpee, pissee, poopee, predatee, promotee, purse-snatchee, regiftee, reprimandee, scoldee, shagee, shitee, skullfuckee, slashee, slobberee, smoochee, smotheree, sniffee, snitchee, spankee, stabee, stalkee, staree, theftee, toe-suckee, undressee, whackee, yoinkee.

Real citation: "You can either be the brainsucker or the brainsuckee."
(Keeton Harrington, "A Political Attack," http://www.1km1kt.net/fiction/political_attack.php)

Made-up citation: "During my horrid night in a youth hostel--a night of snoring, talking, turning on the lights, banging the doors, and squeaking the beds in a squick-like fashion--I would gladly have been the brainsuckee to any enterprising young surgeon with a vacuum cleaner and a dream."

Thursday, August 25, 2005


adj. Used to describe a man, woman, or child who might--all things being equal--go all special forces on your ass.

Real citation: "Quality stuff! Glad to see I'm not the only one who uses the darker suits. Me 'n' a few mates are considering black ones for next year. Y'know, sort of special forces-y. Good looking patches too"
(spandex wondermonkey, Nov. 14, 2003,

Made-up citation: "Neither Ben nor Jerry--and not even a bald-headed chickenfucker--would sell ice cream named 'Special-forces-y Strawberry.'"


present participle. Sweet holy monkey balls! That's gross.

Real citation: "I'd rather see Lindsay do the nasty with Coulson. Which would still be ewwwww-inspiring, but not so much."
(KMS, Jan. 19, 2004, http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.tv.soaps.abc/

Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of the ewwwww-inspiring, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the poo-poo of farmboys."

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


adj. It's hard to find a good freakazoid when you need one.

Real citation: "My bed [freakazoid-less!] is calling my name."
("Delete this and put your Sir Smellyass here. ," Jan. 14, 2004, http://www.swydm.com/blog.php?u=snakey&aw=2&am=1&ay=04)

Made-up citation: "I'll be investigating Chicago's neighborhoods this weekend to find the most freakazoid-less parts of town, the places I could raise a dog, a dog I shall call Mini-Me."


noun. A keen jailbait-detecting sense.

Related terms: gaydar, straightdar, bi-dar, hickdar, loserdar, boob-dar, penis-dar, big dick-dar, hair-dar, porn-dar, sex-dar, food-dar, sleep-dar, money dar, ho-dar, slut-dar, babe-dar, virgin-dar, hottie-dar, weirdo-dar, jerk-dar, moron-dar, dorkdar, skankdar, freak-dar, ass-dar, zombie-dar, Pretentious Club-going New York Assholedar, "someone is staring at my ass"-dar, “Jesus Freak” dar.

Real citation: "SHE’S FUCKING 16? jesus h fucking christ, i have a real problem with jailbaitdar."
(scentless, Feb. 28, 2004, http://dontlinkthis.com/archives/1068)

Made-up citation: "In a post-Olsen twins apocalypse, will anyone's jailbaitdar function?"

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


adj. A good word to describe my enemies, who shall remain nameless...and lifeless! Yee-haw!

Real citation: "Assholes. I usually don't bitch about this kind of thing, but, it's barely 9:00 and I've already begun to suffer two beat-them-to-death-with-a-brick-worthy clients."
(Doug Kochmanski, Aug. 19, 2004, http://www.dougkochmanski.com/may03/journal_lateaugust.htm)

Made-up citation: "Researchers at the University of Illinois have discovered that of all the penguins in the world, not even one is beat-them-to-death-with-a-brick-worthy--though five out of eleven researchers are."


noun. A rural racket that's rather revolting.

Real citation: "And look how many varieties of cowbells are available from Latin Percussion! A more commercial link than usual, but interesting to see the many variations of cowbell-osity."

Made-up citation: "The Good Lord said, 'Let there be cowbell-osity,' and there was cowbell-osity. Soon after, Satan whacked the Good Lord in the back of the head with a shovel and burned the cowbell-ers alive, which greatly improved the quality of life for all concerned."

Monday, August 22, 2005


noun. When the going gets weird, the pants go down.

Real citation: "Since you've made a tit of yourself with this latest bit of trou-droppage, you've done nothing but snivel and carry on about some vague, unspecified "rules" you imagine have been violated."
(Nov. 19, 2004, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.flame/msg/9910760f4dc8195e?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Tourists should note that the no trou-droppage zone is patrolled by a quartet of postal workers with weed-whackers and drinking problems."


adj. Well-adjusted, mild-mannered, issue-free, husband material? Not so much.

Real citation: "For all its sociopath-ish tendencies, the director seems intent on reminding us this is a cat first and foremost. Hence, “miaows” are dubbed onto the soundtrack EVERY TIME THE CAT IS IN SHOT. Plus when it is in a scene and not on camera, a few more cat-yelps are put on the soundtrack for good measure. This is equally annoying and hilarious."
(peppersinclaire, "One Mean Pussy," http://dvd.ciao.co.uk/Uninvited_The__Review_5403541/SortOrder/1?xid=38d04f0ef78310d0a44aeb4da19615fb3e)

Made-up citation: "According to the polls, nun-tipping is an increasingly popular hobby among the more sociopath-ish elements of society."

Friday, August 19, 2005


noun. You thought incest was best? Well, incest is fucking awesome! Whee!

Related terms: girl-tastic-ness, fat-tastic-ness, shit-tastic-ness, crap-tastic-ness, spiff-tastic-ness, drone-tastic-ness, freak-tastic-ness, awesome-tastic-ness, dork-tastic-ness, role-play-tastic-ness, snitch-tastic-ness, brat-tastic-ness, suck-tastic-ness, social-inept-tastic-ness, geek-tastic-ness, hyper-tastic-ness, war-tastic-ness, spas-tastic-ness, glitch-tastic-ness, ass-tastic-ness, frat-tastic-ness, yay-tastic-ness, retro-tastic-ness, jacket-sleeves-rolled-up-tastic-ness, fan-fucking-tastic-ness, fun-tacular-tastic-ness.

Real citation: "As for the P.Twins? I never made it to them, but they were a cool character even if their crazy incest-tastic-ness freaked me out...alot...Yeah, I saw the anime and they had an entire episode practically devoted to them and their backstory."
(PG-13, Nov. 2, 2003,

Made-up citation: "Some say incest-tastic-ness is wrong, but Mom always said, 'If you can't keep it in your pants, keep your entire nuclear family in an armed compound in New Mexico.'"


noun. Poopieschlopkins! Honey-poopoo! Poopoo-poopoo!

Real citation: "Does Our Cuddly Little Snuzzlewumpkins Hate America?"
(Wonkette, Aug. 16, 2005, http://www.wonkette.com/politics/homeland-security/index.php#does-our-cuddly-little-snuzzlewumpkins-hate-america-117580)

Made-up citation: "If Bev has a girl, we're going to name her Snuzzlewumpkins, and if it's a boy, we'll name him Brick."

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Searches that led some fine folks to this blog

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intestinal gonaditude

noun. In a small, round word? Balls.

Related terms: testicular fortitude.

Real citation: "Of course, Mr. holier-than, in your heart, you know women's hoops is a snooze-o-rama but you just don't have the intestinal gonaditude to admit it publicly. I'll cut you some slack though because we all know courage doesn't flow naturally through the veins of P.Uers."
(Fishin Buddy, Jan. 17, 1994, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/rec.sport.basketball.college/

Made-up citation: "My personal physician said I have severe intestinal gonaditude, so I'm either 1) quite flattered or 2) about to perish."


noun. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dooooooooooooooooong.

Real citation: "Another doorbell, this time at the Cohens'. It's a doorbell-palooza, and it's the sweet, sweet music of realism -- a welcome score to any episode."
(Heathen, "The Dearly Beloved," page 3, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=112&story=8038&page=2&sort=&limit=)

Made-up citation: "A doorbell-palooza is acceptable on Halloween; otherwise, it's time to grab the grenade-launcher and go all Hunter S. Thompson on somebody's ass."

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


adj. Really really totally craptastic, craptacular, or crapolicious.

Real citation: "My crap-diddly-crap-crap first version of H-A.com created in April 2004.I used MS Paint to make the top banner for it too. Ugh."
(Melissa Treglia, http://www.hellish-alchemy.com/index.php?past)

Made-up citation: "Buffalo, NY--to put it delicately--is a crap-diddly-crap-crap shithole. And it sucks rabbit poo too. And it likes it."


present participle. When a nanny is treated like a longtime personal secretary, this word is apropos.

Real citation: "Elsewhere, WENN claims that Sienna Miller, who was dropped from George Hickenlooper's Edie Sedgwick biopic "Factory Girl" for not being enough of a name, has won the Edie role back now that the scandal surrounding her nanny-boinking boyfriend has at least temporarily given her a light dusting of fame."
(The IFC Blog, http://ifcblog.ifctv.com/ifc_blog/2005/08/incoming_new_di.html)

Made-up citation: "On the day nanny-boinking becomes an Olympic sport, the gods of Olympus will smile. So will nanny-boinkers, nanny-boinkees, and HBO."

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


adj. Some wave the flag. Others wag the wang.

Real citation: "If this were indeed the right moment to finally expose the true identity of Mr. X, we could entertain you with details aplenty about pecker-waggy, booze-swilly scandal, for Mr. X, who isn't and never was Karl Rove or Steve Pool or Kathi Goertzen, has allegedly been swilling the booze and wagging the pecker at pseudo-willing and mostly gay men in pseudo-salacious and mostly gay circumstances since the peckers and the booze and the gays were invented."
(Adrian Ryan, "Burning Plastic - You want to fuck a newscaster?," Aug. 11, 2005, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=22583)

Made-up citation: "Correlation does not imply causation, but recent studies show that my pecker-wagginess on Thursday should be entirely blamed on the bucket of booze and plate of crack."


noun. A newscaster female-ier than Dan Rather.

Related terms: anchorette.

Real citation: "So I turn on the TV for some news -- in this case, it happened to be an MSNBC news spot. I see Mo Rocca and some purely-for-window-dressing, inarticulate, perky-cutesy newscasterette discussing -- of all things!! -- Mariah Carey's recent insistence that Glitter was intentionally treated with undue severity by film critics in order to distract America from 9/11, and whether Glitter was actually "a film ahead of its time." This verbal diarrhea went on for five minutes. WTH?"
(Old Oligarch, July 15, 2005, http://old-oligarch.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_old-oligarch_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "According to the Handbook of Gender-free Language, 'newscasterette' is preferable to 'news ho.'"

Monday, August 15, 2005

Mr. Horse Fuckee

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wolfshit insane

adj. If you're crazy, and you eat, crap, fondle, collect, worship, lick, or admire wolf shit--and you know it--this term may well end up in your CIA profile.

Real citation: "The day after Cruise went wolfshit insane on Oprah, there was a rumor that a Brazilian shaman had presided over the marriage between White Stripes frontman Jack White and ectomorphic model Karen Elson on a canoe (and that Meg White had been the maid of honor).
(Chuck Klosterman, "In No One We Trust," page 130, Sept. 2005, Esquire)

Made-up citation: "The next time someone goes wolfshit insane on Oprah, I hope the wolf or wolfdude eats her."

Friday, August 12, 2005

Count Crackula

noun. Whitney Houston.

Related terms: Cracky, Crackney, Whitney McCrackney, Mrs. Crackhead, Ms. Cracktastic, the McCrackersons.

Real citation: "On the Bravo board someone referred to her as "Count Crackula" and the other posters jumped down his throat. I hope that person find their way here where that kind of snark is fostered."
(ChocolateCherry, "Being Bobby Brown," July 1, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3126210&view=findpost&p=3184662)

Made-up citation: "If Count Crackula did a commercial for Count Chocula, think of the marketing synergy: you'd have yummy chocolate, yummy crack, and bone-headed pop fluff all working together in an addictive, sticky, smoky, barfy package. USA! USA!"

President I'm-So-Buff

noun. Commander Cuckoo-Bananas.

Real citation: "If you want our advice, buy up as much pseudoephedrine as you can while it's still legal. You might not shed eight pounds like President I'm-So-Buff, but you'll be productive at work and your nose won't run. And isn't that worth something?"
(Ann Romano, "The Week in Review," The Portland Mercury, http://www.portlandmercury.com/current/one_day.html)

Made-up citation: "I'd feel a lot better about this global-struggle-against-violent-extremism thing if President I'm-So-Buff were fighting it personally in a series of steel cage matches."

Thursday, August 11, 2005


noun. A dastardly thief of muffins who doesn't even care that these muffins have families!

Real citation: "Welcome back. I will send you muffins if you like, but I doubt that you will relieve them because of the New Zeland muffin napper that still hangs out around these parts."
(Tihstae , Jan. 1, 2005, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.roundtable/msg/56dd7d055a50181e?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "If a muffin-napper reads a muffin-choker while holding a muffin-walloper, then a muffin-robber is reading a sensational and probably gross newspaper story with one hand on his hoo-hoo-dilly."

frost one's cheese

idiom. Chap one's ass, burn one's waffles, or get one's thong in a somewhat frosty and cheesy twist.

Related terms: frost one’s apricots, frost one’s ass, frost one’s bagel, frost one’s balls, frost one’s biscuits, frost one’s britches, frost one’s brownies, frost one’s buns, frost one’s butt, frost one’s cake, frost one’s cantaloupe, frost one’s chaps, frost one’s coconuts, frost one’s cookies, frost one’s cornflakes, frost one’s crank, frost one’s cupcake, frost one’s dangly bits, frost one’s dome, frost one’s donuts, frost one’s fanny, frost one’s flakes, frost one’s freezer, frost one’s Fritos, frost one’s gizzard, frost one’s glass, frost one’s goat, frost one’s gonads, frost one’s gourd, frost one’s hide, frost one’s hiney, frost one’s jaws, frost one’s jimmies, frost one’s lizard, frost one’s muffins, frost one’s nipples, frost one’s nose, frost one’s oatmeal, frost one’s ovaries, frost one’s patootie, frost one’s peaches, frost one’s potatoes, frost one’s prunes, frost one’s pumpkin, frost one’s rear end, frost one’s shorts, frost one’s snowballs, frost one’s socks, frost one’s toes, frost one’s tonsils, frost one’s uterus, frost one’s weenie, frost one’s Wheaties, frost one’s windshield, frost one’s you-know-what, grate one’s cheese.

Real citation: "Besides, it really frosts my cheese when somebody registers every TLD of a common word or phrase."
(Matt Beland, http://www.seattlewireless.net/pipermail/talk/2003-June/004212.html)

Made-up citation: "Nothing frosts my cheese like stapled papers that need to be copied--that's why I worship at the cute, metallic altar of the paper clip."

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


noun. If you could look inside the soul or pants of a nincompoop, this is what you would find.

Real citation: "Most anti-drug campaigners don't trust acquisitional nincompoopitude as a preventative, though, possibly because teenagers at large are very together and confident."
("Insouciance is My Anti-Drug," Laura's Journal, http://www.lanceandeskimo.com/journal/antidrug.shtml)

Made-up citation: "Side effects occur infrequently and include muscle aches, constipation, nincompoopitude, abdominal pain, and terminally terrifying torture of the testicles."


noun. A fuckapalooza, with just a whiff of Michael Jackson-style Catholicism.

Real citation: "not to mention that the salesmen here have friggin foxnews on in the showroom...where it is a constant barrage of tsunami warnings, terri shiavo and the michael jackson diddlefest....driving me nuts!"
(glassowater, March 28, 2005, http://sirsyband.proboards21.com/index.cgi?board=Random&action=display&thread=1112033026)

Made-up citation: "Just because you're getting your drugs from Canada doesn't mean a diddlefest is legal."

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


noun. Douchebag plus buttfuck minus fuckbag.

Related terms: douchetard, douchewad, douchefuck, douchehead, douchenuts.

Real citation: "Me: yes- your reputation definitely precedes you. what's db stand for? dickbrain? douchebutt? dilbert? or just dipshit boy?"
(July 31, 2002, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/rec.audio.pro/msg/3f249aa9ef7ec717?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Real parents have named real children 'Winner,' 'Loser,' 'Harvard,' 'Shithead,' and 'Lemonjello,' so when the hell are some creative parents going to get off their ass and slap 'Douchebutt' on some deserving little nipper? How long, oh Lord, how long must I wait?"


adj. Mentally wacky in an especially scratchy way.

Related terms: batshit loony, batshit whacko, batshit insane, batshit nutty, batshit nutso, super-batshit-insane, completely-fucking-batshit-insane, batshit-fucking-crazy, batshit-sounding, batshit-demented, non-batshit, pre-batshit, anti-batshit, batshit loonball, holy batshit, batshittery, batcrap, batpoop, luminous batshit evil.

Real citation: "The documentary is moving forward, but in order to hash out the final details of our agreement I've agreed to meet with a lawyer next week as a means of arbitraton. That's fine, but I'm prepared to walk if things get ugly. Problem is that my momentum is fading a tiny bit -- I like to move faster than this and I can't because it's somebody else's story. I'm used to making short films in a month's time, and the talking-prep stage of this has already taken a month and a half, so I'm going a little itchy-batshitty. Eager to get my finger on the record button."
("IT'S FINE. THIS ISN'T HOLLYWOOD," June 9, 2005, http://www.stealthpunch.com/060905.html)

Made-up citation: "When someone blesses me, it doesn't quite drive me itchy-batshitty, but it does make me want to wash my hands."

Monday, August 08, 2005

penguin-on-penguin action

noun. Dripping, steamy, sweaty, icy, well-dressed, adorable, hot monkey sex for flightless waterfowl.

Related terms: penguin porn.

Real citation: "When a male and female bond, the curve of their necks and their bowed heads form the shape of a heart. But that G rating ensures a lyrical fade-out. For penguin-on-penguin action, presumably, you have to wait for the unrated DVD."
(David Edelstein, "Hazzard payoff," Slate, http://slate.msn.com/id/2123826/)

Made-up citation: "Penguin-on-penguin action leads our youth and birds down a slippery slope of liberalism and no moral fiber; soon, every school and streetcorner will be oozing with parakeet-on-grandma action."


noun. A creamy, testosterone-filled entourage.

Real citation: "I doubt he would have any qualms killing you and having some part of his mantourage dispose of your body at that point."
(solitaire, Sept. 23, 2004, http://www.snowcream.net/openlyclay/index.php?s=8dbe7d0e4560c31d52a57863ff9bf96e&showtopic=355&st=180)

Made-up citation: "My mantourage of goons and lickspittles come in very handy when I need to arrange a beating or an impromptu volleyball game."

Friday, August 05, 2005

poopoo brain head guy

noun. What your mother calls you when she prays.

Real citation: "I'm not trying to act like an asshole saying those things, I just wanted to point out why I've done those things. So don't think I'm a meany, stinky, poopoo brain head guy, because that would be immature :)."

Made-up citation: "If most of the country ever became truly appalled that the President is a fucking moron, we might get to read about poopoo-brain-head-guy-gate."


adj. Sorta but not really un-craptastic.

Real citation: "Topic: -pseudo non-crummy espresso"
(Robin, http://themeyers.org/HomeRoast/Topic10873.htm)

Made-up citation: "Please Zeus, let me find a pseudo-non-crummy NYC apartment I can afford..."

Thursday, August 04, 2005


adj. Wacko from cracko.

Real citation: "As for si.com, here is this week's Burning Questions in which it is argued that the reason the Bengals absolutely have playoff hopes is they have the best qb in this division and this week's Power Rankings from Dr. Z where he alludes to his crack-pipe worthy pick of the Bengals to upset KC."
(Memphis Bengal, "Focusing on the Bengals," Nov. 12, 2003, The Sports Frog, http://www.sportsfrog.com/archives/2003_11.html)

Made-up citation: "Please rank these entities in order of how crack-pipe-worthy it is to believe in them: angels, devils, God, Allah, leprechauns, zombies, pixies, the Holy Spirit, the force, mole men, little green (non-Irish) men, smurfs, Thor."


adj. Impervious to the atomic wedgie and related forms of anal warfare.

Real citation: "you have an wedgie-resistant ass?! incredible! just for that, i might be willing to give you your first lap dance."
(megan, http://artclassforfuckupsandretards.blogspot.com/2005/06/6-10-2k5.html)

Made-up citation: "To a determined wedgie warrior, no butt is wedgie-resistant."

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


noun. Someone who--for the love of pancakes!--has the most loathsome non-mullet dude's haircut imaginable.

Real citation: And combover-ees don't just think they're fooling people, adds Sheldon S. Walker, a psychologist based in Calgary, "They think it looks really good." (For the record, he's not speaking from personal experience: "I have a full head of hair.")
(Melena Z. Ryzik, "Divine secrets of the combover brotherhood," Salon, salon.com/mwt/feature/2005/07/26/combover/index.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm generally against the trend of men and women declaring war on hair by shaving their bodies into a prepubescent state, but I do think combover-ees would do well to get a Brazilian on their skulls."


adj. Sort of like the kind of fellow you'd meet behind a haystack.

Real citation: "I'm looking foward to Kingdom Hearts 2. It seems like it would rock. I enjoyed the last a lot. Anything of this calibur that goes into a second is going to rock. The series can be compared to the Holy Trilogy. Take your farmboyesque character and put him into a really bad situation. Have a few friends gather around as he jaunts from place to place saving the world. In the second episode make it darker with a bleak outlook."
(angryjake, Nov. 15, 2004, http://forum.keger.net/viewtopic.php?t=80&sid=ba170fe470663df973ffd4db2191b952)

Made-up citation: "And I'm making my directorial debut this month with the fine feature flick, Frolicsome Farmboyesque Follies on the Fuckfarm."

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


noun. Sex.

Real citation: "My bad. When I said "root causes", I should have said "need that was being satisfied". If Buffy is getting more from Groinapalooza than orgasms, I'm not sure what it is, in part because I can't really imagine what else he might offer.
(Jan. 11, 2002, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.tv.angel/msg/9f6c953108c27c3a?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "If your groinapalooza tends to be more of a flopapalooza, there's never been a better time to be alive and buy hundreds of boner-boosting drugs and holistic remedies."


adj. Chop chop! Chop chop chop chop whack!

Real citation: "In Peter Greenaway's 8-1/2 Women (1999), a woman's death propels a bereaved widower and his son into carnal questing, via a harem of idiosyncratic ladies. Similarly, 1985's A Zed and Two Noughts follows the Deuce brothers, zoologists and former Siamese twins, who lose their wives in a bizarre collision--a great swan crashes into a car driven down Swann's Way by one Alba Bewick (translates as "white swan"). The brothers become obsessed with photographing and measuring decay ("by degrees of grief"), from Apple to Zebra, and equally obsessed with voluptuous Alba, who, having lost one leg in the wreck, later has the other removed... perhaps for the sake of symmetry. Greenaway's funny, gruesome, gorgeous "zoo" also features hooker Venus di Milo, arbiter of the monetary value of everything; an amputation-happy surgeon who'd like to make Alba fit into a Vermeer painting; a sinister Phantom of the Zoo who offs black-and-white animals; and other assorted, often twinned, exotics."

Made-up citation: "I'm a discrete, mature professional. I'm usually giddy as a schoolgirl on acid. On Saturdays, I get a little amputation-happy. On Sundays, I enjoy reading the newspaper and playing Scrabble."

Monday, August 01, 2005


adj. Yucky-wucky. And probably sticky-stucky too.

Real citation: "Gwar do the whole squicky icky thing a whole lot more more serious yet totally tongue in cheeck at the same time."
(Nick Sands, Sept. 3, 2000, http://illuminati.net/innomine/digests/2000/9/1-1804.txt)

Made-up citation: “Sam Raimi started his career making squicky-icky movies and ended up doing Spider-Man. Does that mean I can make the leap from chainsaw-wielding sociopath to spandex-clad hero of the people?”


present participle. Shiny. Pretty. Especially if you're batshit-loony.

Real citation: "But maybe the myriad flaws of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' are simply the downside of genius. There are sequences in 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' that are as nutcase-dazzling as anything Burton has ever attempted."
(Stephanie Zacharek, "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," Salon, http://salon.com/ent/movies/review/2005/07/15/charlie/index1.html)

Made-up citation: “Few philosophical statements are as nutcase-dazzling as Taoist Chuang Tzu’s immortal words, ‘To use a horse to show that a horse is not a horse is not as good as using a non-horse to show that a horse is not a horse.'”