Thursday, September 28, 2006


noun. Look deep into the circuitry of a sultry female sexpotbot, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "Thanks. I thought we needed a robot with Fembotitude. ; )"
(Lazarus, Feb. 19, 2006,

Made-up citation: "While giving medical advice, I suggested that my friend Kelly might be a fembot. But how can we prove her fembotitude?"


present participle. Christ-adoring; savior-snorkeling; Jeebus-hugging.

Real citation: "I never said they did. But this crop of Jeezass-loving Rethuglicunts is the worst I've ever seen. Trafficant was an outsider even among the Democrats. Tom DeLay and Duke Cunningham were fist deep up the asses of the Bush inner circle."
(MoeLarryandJesus, May 4, 2006, The Huffington Post,

Made-up citation: "Sam Harris' new epistle to the Jeezass-loving crown doesn't add much to his first book, but I still love it like pancakes."

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


noun. A rodent-sized pile of hair, proving that skankitude is a gender-neutral concept.

Related terms: pornstache, fuckstache.

Real citation: "Yeah, shaving is kind of a drag. I only shave about every 3 days, which by then I'm plenty due, but I kinda like the scruff. I keep the upper lip trimmed at all times to avoid the skankstache. This will all change though come May when I have to conform to CP's guidelines. No biggie though."
(Thrill Rider, Jan. 28, 2005,

Made-up citation: "I'm a beard man, but skankstaches make me weep with bed-wetting fear. I'm complex."


adj. Lovey-dovey-obsessiony.

Real citation: "i wonder if he still likes me or if it was like a week-long thing. like an infatuationish thing."
(jax, March 7, 2005,

Made-up citation: "I could use a new crush and some fresh infatuationish feelings right now. Otherwise, I'll get a lot of work done."

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


adj. Tarded...though blue and adorable.

Related terms: fucktarded, fracktarded, asstarded, nontarded, untarded.

Real citation: "I was asking around from some recently ex-patted patrons from the USA; and Emo kids LIKE to be called Emo because it's 'cool'. Personally I think pretending to be emotional or 'emo' is smurftarded."
(Iri Valentine, April 12, 2004,

Made-up citation: "Smurftarded gnomes need extra classes. But the elves and leprechauns won't pay for it!"


adj. Mmm...abnormally enlarged thyroid gland.

Real citation: "Springer: Goitertastic! I mean, fantastic! I'm really having a lot of goiter...I mean fun!"
("Out With the Old,"

Made-up citation: "Ben & Jerry's new Goitertastic Grandson isn't flying off the shelves, leaving marketers stunned."

Monday, September 25, 2006


noun. A substantial instance of dumping, whether of significant others or God-given feces.

Real citation: "So, did anybody hit this during last season's Tahoe megadumpage?"
(bad_roo, Sept. 10, 2005,

Made-up citation: "As a summer camp counselor for disabled children, I cleaned up the mightiest megadumpage in the land. And a shitstorm or two."


adj. May cause an owie.

Real citation: "I'm keen on seeing Baby Face Nelson, the one Siegel I've never lucked across, and even keener to re-see the seldom-shown, collision-y procedural The Lineup, which features a hit man and his dapper assistant, who writes down the victim's last words into a keepsake notebook."
(James Wolcott, "The Siegel Catalog," March 19, 2006,

Made-up citation: "My dad is the ultimate sports nut: if there are balls and collision-y behavior involved, he will watch."

Sunday, September 24, 2006


adj. Fuckin' bamboozled, I'd say. Or drunk.

Real citation: "farrkin school. the only thing ive got to look forward to tonight is CSI. wana get fuckboozled this weekend? xxx"
(March 7, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I'm trying to deal with some issues. Should I try meditation, therapy, or fuckboozlement?"


noun. Not the best name for a kitten.

Related term: douchebaghead.

(justsignbythex, Dec. 31, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Hey douchebagface! Are you enjoying your meal?"

Friday, September 22, 2006


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adj. Look deep into my eyes, and you may see my brain spinning like a top propelled by a hyperactive hamster who put too much crack on his cornflakes. Thus, the non-nonchalant-ness.

Real citation: "After a few minutes of chatting with Richard Roth, the interviewer, my non-nonchalant-ness and his non-nonchalant-ness coupled to make one interesting conversation."
(Drew Powell, "Long Term Benefits of Media Fellows,"

Made-up citation: "Every time I've ever tried to commit a crime, no matter how small, I've failed miserably, probably due to my non-nonchalant-ness. I couldn't have scored coke in Rick James' bathroom."

Thursday, September 21, 2006


noun. The la-la-iest land of the looniest.

Related terms: batshit loony, batshit whacko, batshit insane, batshit nutty, batshit nutso, batshit-demented, super-batshit-insane, completely-fucking-batshit-insane, batshit-fucking-crazy, batshit-sounding, non-batshit, pre-batshit, anti-batshit, batshit loonball, holy batshit, batshittery, batcrap, batpoop.

Real citation: "For the Shi'ites in the south, strip them of all resources, cut them off from everyone, and let them have their batshit insane theocracy. Gradually, airlift in supplies to the people of Batshitistan so they can kick out the oppressive rulers when they get sick of them."
(Ice Hockey Players, Aug. 24, 2006,

Made-up citation: "As a sometimes resident of Batshitistan, I'm just happy I have a passport. Potato wing!"


adj. When "skanky" just doesn't cover it.

Real citation: "OT: For those with Paradise Hotel withdrawals... Fox Reality is going to be airing Temptation Island (I think it's Season 2 or 3) beginning the week of 11/1. Obviously PH is the pinnacle of skankitudinous tv entertainment."
(Crankie, "Paradise Hotel," Oct. 24, 2005, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "Supposedly, skankitudinous Seattle sisters sip sake so serenely. Selah."

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


noun. A proctologist of the female-ier sex.

Related terms: proctologistess.

Real citation: "a future proctologistette???"
(zipperzap, Aug. 11, 2006,

Made-up citation: "If my lovely daughter Emily grows up to be a proctologistette, I'll be so proud and barfed out."


adj. A balmier form of sketchitude. Er—make that ballsier. Damn you, spellcheck!

Related terms: sketchballish, non-sketchball.

Real citation: "Well my utmost apologies to anyone who actually reads the stuff on my web site.. no pictures to go along with tonight's blog. You know - I've had a lot on my mind this week. I think that I can credit that to the fact that I've been home sick most of the week. But none the less, I've had a lot on my mind. I'm convinced that God's timing in life, is pretty much just crazy. Not necessarilly crazy in a bad way, but it seems so sketchbally to me. (yes... I just said sketchbally...)"
(Chelsea, May 27, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Dogs are often better than people at detecting sketchbally characters and half-eaten sandwiches."

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


noun. A vacation that sucks mega monkey balls.

Related terms: mancation.

Real citation: "Aug. 12-15th, sporadic last visits (before crapcation)"
(Shadrax, Aug. 8, 2005,

Made-up citation: "My worst crapcation was probably a drive to Florida with some of the more loathsome fish in my gene pool. I was 10, and if my parents really loved me, they would have hit me with a sledgehammer instead."


noun. Wads don't get any yummier.

Real citation: "Your face is the biggest laugh though I haven't seen a zombie make it in music yet, still it's early days for you yet. How about you try psychadelics and open your mind rather then poison your soul biscuitwad!"

Made-up citation: "Yes, you're a biscuitwad, Julian. But you're my biscuitwad."

Sunday, September 17, 2006


noun. They say you can't put lipstick on a pig, but apparently you can buff a turd.

Real citation: "If you *insist*... I would use a large lawnmower engine. In an extreme act of turdbuffery, the camshaft could be modified with extra lobes to open the intake and exhaust valves on *every* downstroke and upstroke (MIG or braze, and make a "pattern" with filecard stock to get the lobe shape fairly close with the grinder/file) and the neatest thing about this is that many lawnmower engines seem to already use NPT for the muffler attachment *anyway*"
(peejay, April 22, 2004,

Made-up citation: "Even Mr. Turd Blossom Karl Rove doesn't have enough powers of turdbuffery to make this president shine."


noun. Are you my schmoopiecakes? Are you my schmoopiecakes? Yes, yes you are!

Related terms: schmoopiepants, schmoopieface, schmoopiehead, schmoopie-poo, schmoopsie-poo, de-schmoopify.

Real citation: "She was really starting to look unhappy now. Poor schmoopiecakes!"
(mr. pseudostudent & pseudostudent, "How Swede It Is,"

Made-up citation: "Many a schmoopiecakes--when called 'schmoopiecakes'--responds with a fork to the eyeball."

Thursday, September 14, 2006


noun. A sad state of non-drunken affairs.

Real citation: "The cat needed a broken tooth fixed. *fuckin cat* Normally I would have drowned my sorrows for a while then moved on, but it was winter.*fuckin snow* so there was no work,*fuckin work* which meant no money, which meant no booze.*fuckin unfuckedupedness*"
(Aug. 3, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Professors at a local research university have uncovered new evidence that suggests 'unfuckedupedness' has a lot of syllables."


adj. Doctor, we've created conscious life! Or a delicious new bagel.

Real citation: "Unnamed it might be, but it definitely had a purpose. Hmm, a sentientish sword? with a yen for a magic user to fulfill its grand plan? I'm loving this. Giles's mental state is spot on, and his interaction with Travers is distressingly realistic. Poor Grissom, he gets no love around there, does he?"
(houses7177, Dec. 5, 2004,

Made-up citation: "A good head massage leaves me in a drooly, sentientish, puddle-like state of bliss."

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


adj. I'll go out on a limb and say "deliciously buttholey."

Real citation: "I'm loving it. JonorJoan is a new archetype for insanely determined, stubborn idiocy. He shall level mountains with mighty blows from his big, throbbing intellect. Jon, honey, you are seriously buttholicious, and let no-one tell you otherwise."
(Jed, Dec. 18, 2001,

Made-up citation: "Though their coffee is solid, Intelligentsia's name is pretentious, preposterous, and buttholicious. But if they redubbed themselves 'Buttholia,' I'd be a lifelong fan."


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Tuesday, September 12, 2006


noun. A metric zilchload.

Real citation: "You can get oodles of belts for non-oodles of money at Goodwill or other thrift shops."
("Rachel's guide to Renaissance Costuming for Badass Babes,"

Made-up citation: "'Non-oodles of Noodles' doesn't sound like a promising lunchtime destination for hungry Americans."


noun. A shithead squared.

Real citation: "I agree with sara you shitheadface! But anyhow whats up!?"
(A.DUCK, Aug. 20, 2006,

Made-up citation: "When dating, I constantly fear the emergence of my inner shitheadface--though I probably have an inner poopoobrain at worst."

Monday, September 11, 2006


noun. A special form of government.

Real citation: "Seriously, guys, this isn't a democracy. And to prevent it from becoming a tardocracy, I've selected moderators, who I trust to delete posts that have no value. So there."
(Jick, Jan. 27, 2003,

Made-up citation: "Living in a tardocracy is annoying and dangerous, though I do enjoy Bowling Night."


noun. Look deep into a complainer's cold walnut of a heart, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "It's also a good day to brush up on kvetchitude. For, y'see, summer is coming and one of my favorite activities is to get together with a friend or two, sip some homemade lemonade and/or drink some beer and just sit on the porch and bitch about stuff."
(Tuning Spork, April 23, 2005,

Made-up citation: "When my kvetchitude reaches Costanza-like proportions, it's time to make a refreshing grain alcohol smoothie and relax."

Sunday, September 10, 2006


adj. beefy goodness.

Real citation: "In short, I've been comfortable. So comfortable I've bugger all to write about. Even now I sit here post-beefgasm (that exquisite sensation felt after ingesting 400+ grams of marinated char-grilled scotch fillet), quaffing a glass of Mr. Riggs Shiraz and tapping away at the keyboard over my ever-growing paunch."
(Robbie, Sept. 3, 2006, YMOTG,

Made-up citation: "I haven't eaten beef in 15 years, so I don't know much about the post-beefgasm state. If it's anything like the happiness my dog finds in chewing on pig ears, I'll just stay ignorant, thank you."


verb. To make something less assy, especially a brain. Or a bathroom.

Real citation: "You are only going to defeat that kind of attack through intelligence, and our intelligence is completely lacking because of political bullshit, and myopia. Not having enough Arab language translators? That's a fixable problem, if only the politicans would deassify their heads."
(HaemishM, May 1, 2006,

Made-up citation: "The deassification of my bathtub will now commence."

Thursday, September 07, 2006


noun. Batshittery meets bugfuckery in one loonballish nutburger.

Real citation: "What the fuck? This makes no sense. At all. Are you trying to say they called llamas horses? Because that's batfuckery."
(Surlethe, May 4, 2005,

Made-up citation: "George Carlin says men have more stupidity and women have more batfuckery, but I'm not smart enough to know if this is true."


noun. The masses have spoken, and they do not want to do your mom.

Related terms: milf, non-milf, unmilf, milfitude, milfage, milfery, milfosity, milfy, milfish, milfishness, milfesque.

Real citation: "Pamela Anderson: The Anti-Milf"
(January 6, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Like the wacky neighbor and the stoic first officer, the anti-milf has been a TV staple since Christ was a cowboy."

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


noun. An unidentified bird or other cockamamie creature.

Real citation: "just got to the indep. coffee house near me...they have a bird in here. a cockawhatever in a cage. isn't there something about spreading the ebola virus that the health department frowns upon? at the same time, i kind of dig it."
(Kelly, email message, Sept. 4, 2006)

Made-up citation: "A cockapoo is a mix of a cocker spaniel and a poodle. A cockawhatever is an unholy crime against nature and all that is good and true and right."


adj. Nutty.

Real citation: "my poor baby! april 7th is doomsday!! IM SO SORRY, but i have to do it :( youll forgive me im sure. i think your one nut was kinda cute in its own testicle-ish way, ill miss the little fella."
(Mel Nasty, March 23, 2006,

Made-up citation: "A testicle-ish lump in a non-testicle-ish place is not recommended by doctors."

Sunday, September 03, 2006


adverb. Used to modify an absolutely motherforking something or other.

Related terms: absodiddly, absofracking, absofreaking, absofricking, absofucking.

Real citation: "Absoforking hilarious!!"
(Prime Mover, Feb. 9, 2001,

Made-up citation: "If I can get my dog to heel--and stop swerving around the sidewalk like DWI who sprinkled too much crack on his cornflakes--I'll be absoforking delighted."


adj. Lacking the funny.

Real citation: "On the not-so-hee side, I had forgotten about Dualla's wall of photos scene. It's funny how (for me, at least) it had more emotional impact then bombed-out Caprica."
(aliana, "1-1 & 1-2: "33 / Water" 2005.01.14,"
April 9, 2005,

Made-up citation: "The difference between hee-larious and not-so-hee depends on where the pee is sprinkled."