Monday, May 29, 2006


noun. Look deep into the eyes of a peckerwooded, prickish penishead, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "So legend/fact has it that Shuggie Otis was wanted for the Rolling Stones at one time or another. Listen to "Sweet Thing," and it's so clear why -- his guitar tone stiffens with the sort of brutal honesty/talent that Keith Richards hocked/'hoed over his lifetime to varying degrees, during varying degrees of peckerwoodedness."
(JW, "YR SKIVS IN A WAD," Sept. 1, 2001, Pop Cesspool,

Made-up citation: "Judge a man not by the size of his peckerwoodedness. Just lop off his weenie."


adj. Brain dead? Though the hills may be alive with the sounds of cuckoo-bananas nuttery. Or maybe this word just refers to the frenzy surrounding Terry Schiavo.

Real citation: "Schiavotastic"
(John, "Schiavotastic," March 21, 2005, Dymaxion World,

Made-up citation: "If the soup is Schiavotastic, I'll skip the soup."

Friday, May 26, 2006


noun. Sweet mother of fucker--that's a lot.

Related terms: motherfuckload.

Real citation: "Despite the fact that the Sex Pistols are conspicuous in their absence, this 4-CD motherfuckerload of pre-hardcore punk is downright spastic with both obvious and tarnished gems."
(Marc Savlov, Dec. 12, 2003,

Made-up citation: "On a scale of zero to a motherfuckerload, how would you rate the aesthetic appeal of your toes?"


adj. Tasteful, genteel, and not in any way wedged in an ass.

Real citation: "Trish pulls Molly's pants down to reveal very non-thongish 'granny panties'!"
(Adam Kohen, July 4, 2002,

Made-up citation: "Even in non-thongish attire, I am quite fetching, according to nine out of ten dentists."


adj. Truthy?

Real citation: "Secret societies that revere Mary Magdalene, Renaissance artists who doodle blasphemous in-jokes in the corners of their paintings, tubby cardinals desperate to make sure the general public doesn't find out that women really are the center of the universe: "The Da Vinci Code," a blend of pseudo-facty information and mischievous, provocative invention, is a flying meringue pie headed straight for the church's kisser."
(Stephanie Zacharek, "The Da Vinci Code," May 18, 2006,

Made-up citation: "My knowledge of history is pseudo-facty at best. Hamlet was a Moop, right?"

Friday, May 19, 2006


adj. A flavor of crappy that would make Ned Flanders proud as a diddly doodly something or other.

Related terms: crap-diddly-yap, crap-diddly-ap, crap-diddly-dap, crap-diddly-crap-crap, crap-diddly-doo, crap-diddly-tastic.

Real citation: "I was in the shade when I took the pictures which is why they look so crap-diddly-yappy. I lightened them the best I could, but you get the gist of her glee."
(July 17, 2005, The Kidlet Chronicles,

Made-up citation: "God doesn't make crap, but he does make a shitload of crap-diddly-yappy turd-like stuff."


adj. Serious business, my friends.

Real citation: "They aren't meant to be like Bollywood; they are American and British movies made by Indian immigrants or sons/daughters of immigrants. They are usually more social-issuey, less melodramatic, and more about the immigrant experience, which I can relate to a lot even as a non-desi. (The one exception is Bollywood/Hollywood, which totally is trying to mix Bollywood with Hollywood.)"
(jfung79, "Desi movies," Jan. 1, 2004,

Made-up citation: "It just doesn't seem right to describe Gandhi as a svelte, social-issuey studmeister."

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


adj. Endowed with primitive, prodigious, Pope-worthy ballitude.

Real citation: "And a coconut-testicled, 15-foot tall Locke throwing knives at a sentient cloud of black smoke? Oh, I'd keep watching, but I think I'd feel really dirty afterwards."
(Super, May 7, 2006, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "According to the OED, 'coconut-testicled' can first be found in a letter of Jane Austen's, though the related 'melon-balled' is much older."


noun. A batshit loonball with postal tendencies and public relations responsibilities.

Related terms: spokesbaby, spokesbat, spokeschimp, spokescrab, spokescrony, spokesdemon, spokesdipshit, spokesdoofus, spokesdude, spokes-fembot, spokesferret, spokeshottie, spokeslackey, spokesloony, spokesmaniac, spokesmartian, spokesmonkey, spokesmoron, spokesnomad, spokespuppet, spokespuppy, spokesvermin, spokesweasel, spokeswookie.

Real citation: "And who better to help her through this awkward phase than Canadian madman-turned-MTV spokeslunatic, Tom Green, her husband as of April."
(Cynthia Amsden, Oct. 18, 2001,

Made-up citation: "If a spokeslunatic only drooled and barked, would he lose his job or get a promotion?"

Monday, May 15, 2006


noun. A state of apathy where residents would remove their eyeballs with sporks, if they weren't so stupefied.

Real citation: "Back again and no longer feeling the effects. Woke up early for the geology lab which was absurdly easy again, this was promptly followed by the geology lecture of meh-itude."
(Jan. 23, 2004,

Made-up citation: "I finally started watching 24, but the first two episodes filled me with meh-itude. Every single character was boring, and the stereotypical teenage characters made me lose the will to live. Plus, the Palmer guy makes me think of car insurance, car insurance, car insurance, and taking a nap."


noun. A metaphorical parlor trick involving a proctological wonder.

Related terms: asspull, ass-pullery.

Real citation: "Decipher's Starships handbook, perhaps? IIRC, the T'Kumbra was reused footage of the Prometheus from "Second Sight" (also reused as the Lexington from "Explorers") and the rest of those numbers were never seen onscreen, either. I smell me some ass-pullage!"
(MMoM, June 19, 2005,;f=6;t=002568)

Made-up citation: "As a writing teacher, I instruct students in the fine arts of rhetoric, ass-pullage, and spelling.”

Friday, May 12, 2006


noun. It's alive! Aaaiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Real citation: "CRAP (see this post for the CRAP 411): And by 'Barney', I mean either the dinosaur or the 'Miller'; neither one raises my tent in the slightest... though Abe Vigoda is impressive in maintaining his not-dead-ness for so long."
(Charlie, June 26, 2003,

Made-up citation: "Just as wellness centers replaced health centers, soon not-dead-ness facilities will be mega-mega-hip."


adj. Pretty much, specfuckingtacular.

Related words: fuckingtastic.

Real citation: "We then went to Allans Music store. They had so many fuckingtacular guitars & drum kits *drools…"
(clot_blood, Jan. 24, 2006,

Made-up citation: "On a scale of fuckingtacular to zilch, how would you rate your hair product?"

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


noun. A childish insult or anatomical curiosity.

Real citation: "hey sombrero, how are you doing? I'm gonna try to make this a good comment ok? hmmm.....yea so thats about all I can think of to say :( man I'm pathetic but at least you love me!!!! ok well umm poopfacebutt, pwned"
(Brian, April 2, 2006,

Made-up citation: "I'm proud to be a poopfacebutt, yet ashamed to be an asswipehead. Identity is complex and problematic."


noun. A medical professional with feminine wiles and horrifying drills.

Related terms: dentistess.

Real citation: "Allllllrighty, at 109:45 this morning...i was sitting in a dentist chair getting 2 cavities filled!!!! OH my mouth hurts soooooo much right now...and why??? mouth is sooooo gay...The dentist lady (dentistette??) gave me novacaine and after a while tested the spot to see how numb it wasnt!!!"
(Janah, July 29, 2005,

Made-up citation: "My daughter the dentistette will dominate your ex-wife the exorcist."

Monday, May 08, 2006


adj. Groinocological.

Real citation: "In other girly-bits-related news, my left ovary (... I just typed 'uterus'. Yes, my left uterus. I am a Martian, you see. We have six. Back/front/top/bottom/left/right.) Anyway. My left ovary, it hates me. Quite a lot. And so does ol' Utey. CURSE YOU UTEY. But the latter hasn't been playing up too much, just its little accomplice. CURSE YOU."
("Chomp.," May 8, 2005,

Made-up citation: "A girly-girl and a girly-man were discussing girly-bits-related stuff, until Wonder Woman dropped them like a bag of dirt."


verb. To teeny-weeny-ize.

Real citation: "Vivien, I like them all. Aren't you kind. When Rosie is being a scaredy cat, you tell her it's okay. When Mikey's being a scaredy cat, I call him a chickenshit and tell him to "unbiggify" his tail."
(Roberta, Feb. 3, 2004,

Made-up citation: "Hello Aries. According to the cosmic portents, nothing unbiggifies a boner like your face."

Friday, May 05, 2006


adj. Like a teeny-weeny Bob Marley.

Real citation: "And now for a brief word on Dixon's hair. I think it's fab. It's longer and kind of mini-Rasta-y, but it's great. It's totally not very CIA-ish, mind you, but it makes Dixon look cool, so I'm all for it. A lot of people on the boards were like, stinky! Stinky poo! But I like it. So shut up."
(Erin Dailey, "Maternal Instinct," page 1, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "With my thick, mangy locks, I could go mini-Rasta-y, mega-Rasta-y, or holy-god-check-out-that-hair."


noun. This may involve a strumpet.

Related terms: come-dump, cum-dump.

Real citation: "Come-Dump-O-Rama!"
(Adrian Ryan, "Celebrity I Saw U," March 23, 2006, The Stranger,

Made-up citation: "I haven't read this Da Vinci Code thing. What does it suggest, that Mary motherhumpin' Magdalene wasn't a come-dump-o-rama?"


adverb. Non-excrementally.

Real citation: "This is one of the reasons why the stock-configured Mustang suspension is a turd. You can polish that turd by greatly increasing spring rates and only moderately lowering the car. Then, you can buff the turd out and add some perfume by replacing the rear suspension with a torque arm, losing the UCAs, and adding a proper lateral link such as a Panhard bar. This will allow you to put the rear RC where you want it. Finally, you can flush the turd and buy a Vette or NSX or some such car with a non-turdly suspension."
(Msquared, March 5, 2001,

Made-up citation: "Introducing my puppy to a non-turdly indoor lifestyle is more than a job; it's a frackin' adventure."

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


noun. The essence possessed by all arch-nemesises, from Lex Luthor to Sideshow Bob.

Related terms: nemesisness, nemesisless.

Real citation: "since you’ve exchanged now greetings, he can no longer pretend he’s not aware of your arch-nemesisness. i’d proceed with caution if i were you."
(Patricia, March 2, 2005,

Made-up citation: "Commander Cuckoo-Bananas has been so successful because no one in the Democratic party or the press has more arch-nemesisness than a dishrag soaked in milk and tears."


adj. Not fucking scoring in the highest percentile of the SAT.

Real citation: "Ok, now that´s just fucktardistic to the third degree. And, yes, the posters for the original Saw had the exact same gimmick, so, I dunno why they didn´t say anything when the first one came out."
(Mr. Grouchy, Aug. 23, 2005,

Made-up citation: "I am not a God-fearing man, but I am a Goddamn fucktardistic dude."