Wednesday, September 30, 2009


noun. Oh, the cupcake-manity!

Real citation: "A Cupcake-tastrophy"
(Aug. 8, 2009, CupcakesOMG!,

Made-up citation: "If the world has to end in a cupcake-tastrophy, well, I guess I'll just have to accept it. Preordained is preordained, you know?"

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


noun. A respected, trained, learned professional, so wise in the ways of the buttcrack.

Real citation: "Okay, wedgie-ologist:
What's the difference between a Supreme wedgie and an Atomic wedgie?
Inquiring minds want to know."
(Dec. 3, 2001, Free Republic,

Made-up citation: "My biggest regrets? I never became a wedgie-ologist or supreme leader. Why, oh why, must I be a dean?"

Monday, September 28, 2009


adv. Honky-ily.

Real citation: "In other news, we need to come up with a phrase to describe those Awkward White Guy Plays like the one in which Matt Hasselbeck got injured last week. If you didn't see it, he scrambled out of the pocket, thought he might be able to scramble into the end zone, realized he couldn't -- uh-oh, Awkward White Guy Play coming up! -- then ended up lurching forward with a dive, only he looked like a wrapped-up corpse that was being tossed into the ocean by gangsters. THUD! So what do we call these moments? Does 'Awkward White Guy Play' cover it? Could we did deeper with something like 'Vanilla Pudding Play'? Or just a two-word thing like 'Caucasianistically Challenged'? Or maybe just 'Went honky on us'? I'd like to figure this out. In a related story, Hasselbeck cracked a rib and ushered in a few weeks of the Seneca Wallace Temp QB Era, or as it's better-known, 'Ka-Ching.'"
(Sept. 25, 2009, Bill Simmons,,

Made-up citation: "I only do two things Caucasianistically: dancing and colonizing. Other than that, you'd hardly know I am a cracker."

Sunday, September 27, 2009


noun. Would a Cylon boffing a Wookie qualify? I think it might.

Real citation: "@jjwebshows Aw, i could never, never, never, never unfollow you!!! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR NERDGASM-TASTIC-NESS!"
(Aug. 11, 2009, HoneyJune, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I've been watching Dollhouse, but it doesn't quite fill me with nerdgasm-tastic-ness. The premise doesn't make much sense. The lead role is a million dollar part played by a $10 actor. The tone is totally inconsistent. So why am I watching? Oh yeah, I'm a loser."

Saturday, September 26, 2009


noun. A not-so-exotic creature of the night.

Real citation: "its amazing just how impatient and immature people are when they go into a retail store. its like they leave all the manners and etiquette at the door and just become a were-asshole. you like that dont you, a were-asshole. which actually makes sense, because in the retail industry we have this saying 'must be a full moon' meaning, for some reason when a full moon is out, people tend to be worse than normal."
(April 18, 2009, Let There Be Blog,

Made-up citation: "Obviously, a silver bullet will kill a were-asshole, but the sledgehammer defense shows promise as well."

Friday, September 25, 2009


adj. I'm no batshitologist, but that sounds kinda crazy, I reckon.

Real citation: "See the ocean in the BG- beautiful, long, craizzzie-daisy day"
(Sept. 23, 2009, Eliza Dushku, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "My dog has always been adorable and craizzzie-daisy. You don't get a nickname like Crack Baby by driving in the sane lane."

Thursday, September 24, 2009


noun. A complex professional. As an exorcist/milkman, I admire that.

Real citation: "heading off to help a friend brainstorm a name for what he does. hmmm. filmguystorytellerwithaknackformakingcorporatetypesrelax-ologist?"
(June 23, 2009,
Natalie Nowytski, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I could use a good
filmguystorytellerwithaknackformakingcorporatetypesrelax-ologist around here... Then again, a couple forties might be more scalable, given budgetary constraints."

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


noun. That's Supreme Fuckin' Leader to you.

Real citation: "… on the other hand, I trust Putin even less, and I simply don’t trust his pal Ahmadi-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is, period. A handful of antiballistic missiles is a whole lot cheaper solution than going to an all-out war to contain that maniac."
(Sept. 30, 2007, English Russia,

Made-up citation: "My first child will be named Plaxico Seven Ahmadi-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is Peters. That works for a boy or girl."

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


noun. Oh, the duh-manity!

Real citation: "Yay (?Watchdog ?Panorama) for dumbing-down-tacularity. The whole point about the Ross Anderson exploit is that it’s got no imaginable viability in real life, and absolutely couldn’t drive the frauds that the victims in the clip say they were done by."
(Aug. 30, 2008, Longrider,

Made-up citation: "I'm never afraid to embrace dumbing-down-tacularity in my artwork or marriage. I can go low, and I wear my bib low, to catch the drool."

Monday, September 21, 2009


noun. A hairmageddon of the chin.

Real citation: "@LuucyGoose Beard-pocalypse!"
(Aug. 16, 2009, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Dear Lord, do I hate trimming my beard. I'm always one mistake away from a beard-pocalypse. Then I'd have to shave the whole thing, and the whole world would know I am Batman!"

Sunday, September 20, 2009


adj. In the medical community, we prefer to call it "knife-y".

Real citation: "And then the priest tells Scully "don't give up," like this is supposed to be something deep and meaningful. HOW? If he'd told her "it's always darkest before the dawn" would that have been deeper and meaningful-er? What about if he'd said "a stitch in time saves nine"? That's even better, being all surgery-y and stuff!"
(July 26, 2008, Livejournal,

Made-up citation: "I told you my headache doesn't feel very surgery-y... I don't think you'll be needing that sterilized sword, Pop-pop."

Saturday, September 19, 2009


noun. The locals call it apathy. The Druids called it "ghghgheeeeeeexo".

Real citation: "What I just described were pretty much my only freakouts the whole weekend! That's NOTHING compared to the previous Drills. This was like an ORGY of NOT-A-SHIT-GIVERY! (Especially considering that *I* am the one who goes to jail if something goes... 'TOO FAR.')"
(July 7, 1999,,

Made-up citation: "When will I finally embrace not-a-shit-givery for the Buffalo Bills? You'd think I'd learn after the 56th Monday night aneurysm."

Friday, September 18, 2009


noun. May involve replacing huckleberries with dingleberries.

Real citation: "The six-year-old-ification of Twitter is now complete. #nickjonassideboob"
(Sept. 6, 2009, Thomas McLaughlin, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I've always been considered a mature elder of my tribe, but for most men, six-year-old-ification would be an impr--hey! Come back here with my binky!"

Thursday, September 17, 2009


adj. An underwear bunch-up of Biblical proportions, for example.

Real citation: "Check out guy was overly friendly. Asked very specific questions. Uncomfortski."
(Sept. 15, 2009, Mason Hastie, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "You're making me uncomfortski! Please put on your pantskis."

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


adj. See citation for definition. Hey, that rhymes. Sweet.

Real citation: "I would like to thank my dear Natasha for teaching me that when a girl is cock-blocked, the correct term is 'pussy-pyloned'."
(Sept. 14, 2009, Michelle Wood, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "A pussy-pyloned priestess is much to be feared! But not as much as a virgin-starved volcano, warn geologists."

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


adj. A close relative of ew-gasmic, argh-gasmic, yeehaw-gasmic, and aaaaaiiiiiiiieeeeee-gasmic.

Real citation: "The Killers aren't exactly a super fave but damn! Brandon F. looks so f'n hawt in 'The World That We Live In' vid -- ugh-gasmic fantastic!"
(June 27, 2009,
Cristina dela Dingco, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I can't define ugh-gasmic, but I know it when I bazooka barf a little more joyfully."

Monday, September 14, 2009


adj. Caution: may contain ingredients that are totally badass-ish.

Real citation: "This film looks mega-awesomely badass-tastic-ish. It's been a while since Hollywood has made a movie with such a high ninja quota. Well I presume there are a lot of ninjas in this movie, obviously I can't actually see them to count."
(Aug. 15, 2009, Freakshow Planet,

Made-up citation: "I feel like a schmuck 97.8% of the time, but I feel almost badass-tastic-ish when wearing my cape and special underwear."

Sunday, September 13, 2009

oversized novelty breast syndrome

noun phrase. A version of Tomb Raider mega-boobies syndrome.

Real citation: "5. Art: Oversized Novelty Breast Syndrome
The art departments are generally the people who have their act sorted out; the quality of videogame art is often exceptional. Yet we still see female character models in many games with vital statistics fresh from the imagination of a hormonally-possessed teenage boy. Motorstorm was a top-tier release for the PS3, and it has a female motorcyclist with a physique better suited to a porno movie than a racing tournament. It's not just offensive to women to use these hyper-sexualised character models, it’s bad business for any game targeting a mass market audience to present itself with such amateur aesthetics."
(April 29, 2009, International Hobo,

Made-up citation: "No proposed health plan will offer treatment for oversized novelty breast syndrome, because it is awesome."

Saturday, September 12, 2009


adj. Not as bad as sick or hungry, but it still sucks.

Real citation: "Hammock Reading for the Hammock-Deprived"
(James Wolcott, Sept. 6, 2009,

Made-up citation: "I remember when I was a hammock-deprived boy... I never dreamed I'd grow up to be a fembot-deprived man."

Friday, September 11, 2009


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Thursday, September 10, 2009


adj. Potato-y, I reckon.

Real citation: "i dont feel like doing anything, at all. Too lazy to move, text, call, bath, and even drive. potato-istic much"
(Aug. 28, 2009, redfists, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Maybe the Garden of Eden would have worked out differently if the events were more potato-istic. Surely God wouldn't kick anyone out for eating the curly fries of knowledge of good and evil."

Wednesday, September 09, 2009


noun. Do my hooker boots qualify?

Real citation: "We had, as Jess has described it, a shoe-saster. The cat likes to knock them over and I don't reliably put mine on the rack."
(Aug. 29, 2009, Robert Sharp, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "They tried telling me that just because there's fuck-me pumps, fuck-me penny loafers weren't a sure thing. I invested millions in that shoe-saster. But I think the fuck-me Gilligan hat will turn things around."

Tuesday, September 08, 2009


adj. There is pesto, and it is good. That is all you need to know.

Real citation: ":: just harvested armfuls of basil from the herb garden...pesto-friggin-riffic!"
(Sept. 5, 2009, artforthefolks, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I just had a pesto-friggin-riffic birthday... I can't recall the details, but it definitely involved a snorkel and your mom."

Monday, September 07, 2009


noun. A real duh-a-geddon.

Real citation: "@DougPiranha God, all this non-news... seriously. I'm going back in the bunker. Tell me when the stupid-pocalypse is over."
(Aug. 29, 2009, Shatterbound, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "There is only one way to avert a stupid-pocalypse. And when I finish cleaning my dunce cap, I'll tell you."

Sunday, September 06, 2009


adverb. Sounds like the hench-cleavage is at it again.

Real citation: "Siesta single-handedly, or rather double-boob-edly, tipped the balance in favour of this show. NotoMami's boob fairy joining the cast is a good thing (i hope). And of course i'm dying to find out what happens to the Reiji Maigo. Oops, wrong Hino Rie show. The plot so far has been rather blah, so zero expectations there."
(June 25, 2008, The Legend of Zunderella,

Made-up citation: "If I can only shrink my man-boobs, through a strict regimen of physical fitness and fewer than three cakes a day, maybe someday the local bloggers will stop using the word 'double-boob-edly' in their reviews of my ballet troupe."

Saturday, September 05, 2009


noun. A medical field that is so crucial when you injure your blah-blah bone.

Real citation: "There were a couple days there that I thought we were going to have to check my 5yo into a Kindergarten rehab for the psychotic! He was in so much pain that he was climbing the cabinets to get to his painkillers that I put in the cabnet over the sink. I am not telling you to scare you, just to let you know that this is (according to our doctor, who was the head of ortho-yada-yada-ology, ENT, at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston) very normal."
(Aug. 5, 2005, Splitcoast Forums,

Made-up citation: "Some doctors leave the field of ortho-yada-yada-ology for a quiet life of meditation and poetry, but only the doctors who are cuckoo for crystal meth puffs."

Friday, September 04, 2009


noun. Highly correlated with loss-of-life-itude and/or ouch!-my-hand-itude.

Real citation: "Finished long read of intense fist-of-death-itude (tx @sarahmei). BAH."
(Aug. 28, 2009, rmei, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Most doctors can't diagnose fist-of-death-itude. Let's help them out by punching them till they die."

Thursday, September 03, 2009


noun. Sounds like a big whatever-load.

Real citation: "Each block of three is written as 'blah hundred an blah-dy blah blah-illion'. For example, the '723' is read as 'seven hundred and twenty three thousand' (yes, an exception to the '-illion' rule) and the '56' is read as 'fifty six million')."
(March 8, 2008, xkcd,

Made-up citation: "I have blah-illion reasons why I love you. I just can't seem to think of any."

Wednesday, September 02, 2009


noun. Oh, the hair-manity!

Real citation: "hair-ma-geddon
remember that guy with the long hair on the bus?
his name is tim. he's in my class."
(Aug. 4, 2009, miss. chief's blog,

Made-up citation: "It takes a mystical sword and the sacred parchments to avert an apocalypse, but the hair-ma-geddon can be stopped instantly with a hat."

Tuesday, September 01, 2009


noun. Porky Pig qualifies.

Real citation: "This Little Piggie is a Celebu-swine!"
(Aug. 4, 2009, Ellie Brecher, The Miami Herald Blog,

Made-up citation: "From small celebu-swine grow enormous plates of delicious celebu-bacon."