milifuck

noun. A unit of fuckery employed by humpologists.

Real citation: “nanofuck -- intense flirting
microfuck -- rubbing up / dry humping
milifuck -- kissing
centifuck -- making out
fuck -- self explanatory
kilofuck -- making love for an hour with candles lit
megafuck -- all night session”
(April 22, 2002, http://www.edmplanet.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-5180.html)

Made-up citation: "You sir, are getting on every last milifuck of my nerves. I abhor your face."

douchecapades

noun. Adventures on the douchey side of the force.

Real citation: “Ok, but how about The Douchecapades?”
(Aug. 5, 2006, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=6470405)

Made-up citation: "I regaled the children and town elders with tales of my douchecapades. In turn, they are summoning the village exorcist."

paralleloriffic

adj. Possessing pleasingly similar parts that quiet the mind and soothe the savage ulcer.

Real citation: “Yes, that was something along the lines of what I was thinking, too. That the balcony is a physical symbol of Al's prominence in yet distance from the community of Deadwood. He finds it easier to participate in camp life from up there, observing the action and sometimes throwing down blessings. (Yet another parallel in this paralleloriffic show--Al accompanying his freeing of Trixie by goodnaturedly throwing something to/at her, contrasted w/Cy's throwing parcels at Joanie when she tried to leave.) Seth literally brings him down from the balcony in S2, and last night, hallelujah, he chose to jump off of it himself.”
(MizDarwin, “3-10: "A Constant Throb" 2006.08.13,” Aug. 14, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?act=Print&client=printer&f=749&t=3144760)

Made-up citation: "Jesus turned water into wine. I have turned wine into puke--and other refreshing liquids. Could me and Jesus be any more paralleloriffic? It's freaky."

robocest

noun. The kind of love that happens when toasters know no limits.

Related term: robo-incest.

Real citation: “Kind of an old Megaman joke, but at least its not robocest.”
(Aug. 17, 2005, VG Cats Forum, http://forum.vgcats.com/showthread.php?t=2991&page=10)

Made-up citation: "Only dorky, perverted minds could even conceive of such a heinous, metallic, romantic thing as robocest. So why are you looking at me?"

celebudude

noun. A male equivalent of the celebubabes that litter our Intertubes and brains.

Related terms: celebutante, celebuskank, celebutard, celebuturd.

Real citation: “Meanwhile, the Teen Vogue crowd has even more emerging boldfaced names. After the celebutante Hilton sisters come the celebudude Hilton brothers: Barron, 16, and Conrad, 12. Fashion also has budding...”
(June 22, 2006, Gossip on Anna Wintour, http://www.gossip-1.com/anna-wintour-060616.htm)

Made-up citation: "I'd make a great celebudude. I'm shallow, I have no morals, and I like shiny, pretty things. Where do I apply?"

nanotesticles

noun. Balls smaller than the eye can see and the mind can imagine, holding nary a pube's worth of gonadal fortitude.

Real citation: “Another Democrat displaying his nanotesticles. These guys should wear longer slips.”
(July 25, 2006, http://www.haloscan.com/comments/atrios/115384171563212052/)

Made-up citation: "Read my new opus on gender and the ties that bind: Men Have Nanotesticles; Women Have Lady Balls."

clusterbop

noun. A clusterfuck fit for all audiences.

Related terms: clusterboink, clustercoitus, clusterduck, clusterfiretruck, clusterfornicate, clusterfrack, clusterfreak, clusterfrell, clusterfrick, clusterfrig, clusterfug, clusterhump, clusterplook, clusterpork, clusterschmuck, clustersmurf.

Real citation: “I love it. This is the first time either the UAW or the clusterbop of management has had to worry about anything in their lives.”
(May 6, 2005, KFFL, http://kffl.com/forums/showthread.php?t=124597)

Made-up citation: "Tell little Billy he needs to wait his turn in line, so we can all avoid clusterbops, poopstorms, and fucking nightmares of cafeteria congestion."

abominationish

adj. Sir, it is an abomination! Kinda.

Real citation: “He reached in his jacket pocket and gripped his phone. He started to hear static. He knew from his earlier encounter with the acid creatures to not let his guard down. He scanned his surrounding for some sort of abominationish creature. Then suddenly a strange smell filled James nose. A smell like blood and salt water.”
(July 19, 2006, http://www.squareboards.com/story-writing/5259-silent-hill-fears-requiem-3.html)

Made-up citation: "Behold the abominationish apparition that beseecheth thee to pee in thy cornflakes. He looks serious."

fellatonic

noun. 1) Metaphorically blowjobical, like your underlings. 2) Literally blowjobistic, like your mama.

Real citation: “(Not attested, on the web or in newsgroups: fellatoric, fellatorian, fellatoriary, fellatistic, fellatonic, fellationistic, fellationical.) People have certainly been creative with English morphology in order to get an adjective related to fellatio.”
(Arnold Zwicky, “The Vocabulary of Toadying,” Jan. 31, 2006, Language Log, http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/002799.html)

Made-up citation: "Craven, toadying, fellatonic young professional seeks a morsel of your kindness and a position in your administration."

electro-depantsifier

noun. A pants-removing instrument to be used with extreme caution--and possibly an advanced degree.

Related terms: self-depantsifier.

Real citation: “I would think the easier scan in an Amsterdam airport would be to look for those people that aren't smuggling drugs out of the country (because who in their right mind would try to bring them in, that's like trying to smuggle beer into Canada). If this electro-depantsifier emits any sort of Alarming Klaxon of Guilt when it detects someone leaving Amersterdam with a nickel bag of weed tucked up their no-no, that's got to be the loudest airport security area since Paula Abdul was denied First Class.”
(Wender J. Crinklebank, May 16, 2007, Dave Barry’s Blog, http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2007/05/attention_hotbo.html)

Made-up citation: "My shopping list: rice milk, almond butter, electro-depantsifier, death ray, Goldbond."

crapfest-free

adj. Non-craptastic.

Real citation: Today was supposed to be a good day. Lego Star Wars 2 (the sequel to my most favoritist video game ever!) is in release. The ORIGINAL (CGI crapfest-free) Star Wars movies are out. Apple is announcing some (hopefully) cool new stuff. What could possibly go wrong??
(David Simmer II, Sept. 12, 2006, Blogography, http://www.blogography.com/archives/lego/)

Made-up citation: "I'm sad about the lame season finale of The Shield. Until then, the whole series had been almost 100% crapfest-free."

beta-goon

noun. A second-tier hoodlum, thug, or henchperson.

Real citation: “OK, so I know the show has to dial up the drama, and I couldn't be more cool with that, but technically speaking, what would keep Al from simply killing Hearst? Aside from the logistics of dealing with The Captain, and any other beta-goons, why wouldn't Al cut the cocksucker's throat?”
(EGTuna22, “3-2: "I Am Not the Fine Man You Take Me For" 2006.06.18,”June 19, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3142279&view=findpost&p=5505239)

Made-up citation: "With henchlings and beta-goons, I'd defend the perimeter, send out for sushi, and make the thoroughfare safe for orphans and puppies."

emasculicious

noun. Mmm....deballification.

Real citation: “Women were asked to write about their lovers on the dolls (which conveniently come in various penis sizes); exhibit visitors can view the dolls while listening to audio of the women's stories. Emasculicious!”
(July 26, 2005, Gridskipper, http://gridskipper.com/travel/paris/your-girlfriends-little-man-114184.php)

Made-up citation: "My dog's emasculicious surgery did nothing to curtail his hump-happy ways. I sure wish he'd lay off the dogs whose owners I'd like to hump. Awkward!"

nutsopath

noun. A less clinically exact relative of the psychopath, the sociopath, and the cuckoopath.

Related term: whackopath.

Real citation: “Wow, Bongo! You accomplished what I thought was impossible; you managed to find something positive to say about our dear, Vaughan. Yes, he is a very good typist! Unfortunately, he is also a nutsopath 55 year old dead beat dad paper boy (by his own description) who slanders organizations like the Klaaskids foundation out of pure ignorance mixed with mental illness, but boy, can he type...”
(Sept. 19, 2006, http://boards.crimelibrary.com/archive/index.php/t-275105.html)

Made-up citation: "If cleaned regularly, a batshitometer can distinguish between a deranged nutsopath and a raving whackadoo."

supergeniusitude

noun. Wile E. Coyote-esque smarts not available to the unwashed masses such as you and I and that guy over there.

Real citation: “OHNOES! Well, it was a nice 2,000 year run while it lasted, but I believe that all of us Christians will have to agree that it’s time to throw in the towel. After all, how can we possibly hope to survive the sheer scholarly supergeniusitude of James. Fricking. CAMERON??? All is lost, my fellow godbags. We had the unbelievers going for a while, but now the genius behind “The Titanic” has blown our little conspiracy wide open.”
(Emperor Misha I, Feb. 25, 2007, The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler, http://www.nicedoggie.net/2007/?cat=70)

Made-up citation: "Had I the supergeniusitude and time, I'd build a crystal palace in the sun, and I'd defend it with feral pig-men and sultry wolf-women. And I'd, uh, get some counseling."

despotette-wannabe

noun. A poser with feminine wiles, not yet capable of making a grown man pee his panties, romantically or otherwise.

Related term: despotette-in-training.

Real citation: “As the local creative genius extraordinaire and Despotette-Wannabe, being a bit flaky just comes with the territory. In her free time, Laura lives amongst the Dutch, plays in mud puddles, pines for the Stateside love-of-her-life, eats a lot of waffles, and plot-plots evil things for the club.”
(2004, Dawnsisters Weyr, http://www.dawnsistersweyr.net/club/meet_bod.html)

Made-up citation: "A despotette-wannabe in the dungeon is worth three proctologistettes in the parlor."

terroriness

noun. Terror Lite.

Real citation: “because he can tell us about the dangers of terroriness? that stuff sells, i understand.”
(heiko, Aug. 23, 2006, Josef’s Site, http://holocron.multiply.com/journal/item/204)

Made-up citation: "I'm fighting the War on Terroriness on the home front, where it matters--in bed. Hold me, Teddy."

loofah-gasmic

adj. Mmm....spongeworthy beyond Elaine's wildest sexual harassment suits.

Real citation: “This is one repugnant human being. It's like he is a walking caractature of everything conservatives want to believe liberals are. It's like he sprung fully-formed from one of Bill O'Reilly's loofah-gasmic fever dreams.”
(Teresa Lhotka, May 15, 2006, “Loofah-gasmic. It's not a word, but it SHOULD be,” Anomalous Data, http://www.anomalousdata.com/PermaLink,guid,f4312576-6288-4ba9-8266-692529e54b3c.aspx)

Made-up citation: "Lipstick lesbians and latte liberals lounge in lowdown loofah-gasmic luxury, local librarians lament."

doofusmonger

noun. A doofistic cousin of the fishmonger and warmonger.

Real citation: “Thanks guys! Dave, that tie emoticon has been there forever, and Sierra says you are a doofusmonger. We have not found an ideal location to head up Southern hemi headquarters (BSE SHH for now), but will keep our eyes peeled. So far we have counted 1,909 sheep and 10 people. Half the bars are run by sheep. More thrilling updates later.”
(rcollier, Dec. 23, 2005, BSE Forums, http://www.birdsuneye.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=1543&st=15&p=12410&#entry12410)

Made-up citation: "O thou doofusmongers and ye beclowned buttwads, God hath something something vengeance-cakes. Verily, verily, by Odin's balls!"

non-fembot

noun. A real lady. Old-fashioned, you might say. The kind of girl you can't bring home to Aunt Edna as spare parts for the toaster oven.

Real citation: “Mike Myers kept alive the stereotype of bad British dental hygiene in this spoof of early Bond movies, Dean Martin's Matt Helm character, In Like Flint, Alfie, you name it. But by the third movie, you've got Tom Cruise in a movie-within-a-movie cameo that has Austin Powers emulating Mission: Impossible ... it's enough to make even a non-Fembot's head explode.”
(Steve Tilley, “Top 10 favourite spoof movies,” April 14, 2006, Toronto Sun, http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/2006/04/14/1533909.html)

Made-up citation: "'Fembot or non-fembot?' will be the 'Paper or plastic?' of the glorious, terrifying future that awaits us all."

bunnycapades

noun. Adorable, hoppy adventures, probably down a trail.

Real citation: “Buffy & Spike's Bunnycapades have some unforeseen circumstances.”
(“Other People's Whacked-Out Fic,” http://www.sabershadowkat.com/opwof/opwof.html)

Made-up citation: "I enjoy telling my mother about my bunnycapades, but I conveniently leave out my ratcapades and sleazecapades. Wait, are bunnycapades sleazecapades? Oh, the humanity."

add-hic-endum

noun. An alcohol-soaked addition to--hey, where's my goddamn beer?

Real citation: “add-hic-endum”
(Leigh, June 9, 2007, Mise en Space, http://mise-en-space.blogspot.com/2007/06/add-hic-endum.html)

Made-up citation: "The Norton Anthology of Add-hic-endums looks at literary history through grain alcohol goggles--and likes what it sees. Hubba hubba."

economic boner

noun. 1. An economic goof. 2. An economic boon—down below.

Real citation: “He may not go to the mat as often as we like or pull an economic boner like steel tariffs, but his character gets him a few free economic passes in my book.”
(Mark Byron, July 15, 2003, http://markbyron.blogspot.com/2003_07_13_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "As a mere freelance writer, few of my paychecks are worthy of a raging economic boner that no pants could contain."

Mr. Sucky Poo Poo Pants

noun. That's you. You got poo on your face too.

Real citation: “I have been trying to think of some good, original and new nicknames for our boys in red. I will list them as I come up with them. For now I have... King Ut for Chase, The General for Rollins (see previous post for reasoning) and Mr. Sucky Poo Poo Pants for Floyd (this has been mentioned numerous times on this site).”
(Skeeter, “Quick Notes,” Feb. 25, 2007, Driven to Deep Center, http://driventodeepcenter.blogspot.com/2007/02/quick-notes.html)

Made-up citation: "My patients call me Dr. Peters, but I go by Mr. Sucky Poo Poo Pants on MySpace and in the local community."

all-knowing-ish

adj. Possessing awesome wisdom, a vast amount of information just short of the whole kit, kaboodle, and enchilada.

Real citation: “The Refugees: Jack (is a leader but ignorant of the Island), Ben (is a prisoner but all-knowing-ish of the Island), also includes: Kate, Sun, Claire, Aaron (basically everyone they were trying to protect from gynecologic predations), Rose, Danielle, Alex, Karl.”
(britneywoolf, “Picking Up Transmissions: Speculation With Spoilers,” June 14, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3119603&view=findpost&p=8118446)

Made-up citation: "Wanted: An all-knowing-ish, Yoda-like mentor to guide me in this world of sorrow, where all my dreams are clipped and I do not scamper in the lilies anymore."

boobamaphone

noun. 1) Breast milk. 2) Breastamaphone.

Real citation: “Through some hard-to-trace collaboration between mother, son, father, and Homer Simpson — coiner of ‘saxamaphone’ — ‘booba’ grew into ‘boobamaphone.’ Of the Simpsons influence, Francis says, ‘In one part of the episode, 'saxamaphone' is actually said to Beethoven's Fifth, which is how we often say 'boobamaphone.' Granted, we also say it as a race car announcer might, while our nurslings are held by my husband and revving up (complete with car sound effects) for the nursing race.’"
(Babble, http://babble.com/content/articles/columns/jabberwocky/002/index2.aspx)

Made-up citation: "Good things that start with B: bacon, Battlestar Galactica, basketball, bubble tea, Bisquick, Boston, boobamaphones, Beelzebub."

smegmatacular

adj. Let's not even talk about it. Just barf me out.

Real citation : “Joey is Smegmatacular he used to make me mayonaise sandwiches cut into numbers when i was little. #9 was the best one i think. your the raddest cousin in the WORLD. he also taught me everything i know about fecal, flatulation,and jerry's kids"
(Talani, Aug. 18, 2003, http://www.friendster.com/1372622)

Made-up citation: "Your face is smegmatacular. Yes, you are loathsome and vile. Even your hamster's an asshole."

Satan-in-law

noun. Marriage bestows many gifts. Some of them include diabolical, Biblical, underworld overlords.

Real citation: “This was a gift, albeit a hateful one, from my sister-in-law (a.k.a. Satan in law) who almost had a spell when her son played at our house and I allowed the kids to have fun in the sandbox that still had last summer’s sand (horrors!).”
(April 28, 2006, StuntMom, http://www.stuntmom.com/2006/04/birthday-gift.html)

Made-up citation: "Lacking a spouse, I know little of Satans-in-law. Or should that be Satan-in-laws?"

unclecest

noun. If you can't keep it in your nuclear family...

Real citation: “AnyaSimbi (6:12:09 AM): Another comment on another clip: "I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I almost choked -- what did she say, something like "Peter cares about me -- why can't I stay with him in NY?" Wow the Peter/Claire fans must be so ecstatic. What do you call that? UNCLECEST!"”
(March 1, 2007, http://simbiani82.livejournal.com/70001.html)

Made-up citation: "You have committed many crimes, O'Malley: tax fraud, car theft, conspiracy to commit unclecest. But now, you're going to be my afterdinner mint."

reverse seduce-ology

noun. A Bugs Bunny-type strategy for removing pants.

Real citation: “Okay, FRUITS, the reason your sister keeps calling to say, 'It's not right,' is because she's waiting for you to say, 'I know it ain't right, Sis, but let's do it anyway.' She wants you and she's using reverse seduce-ology to get you.”
(Dan Savage, June 7, 2007, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=237701)

Made-up citation: "As all my cousins have discovered, reverse seduce-ology doesn't work on a goat."

martyrometer

noun. An instrument, much like a metal detector, that zeroes in on self-crucifixion-happy fools.

Real citation: “The martyrometer exists so that people who don't have the time to get into the details and intrigues of Steve and Winston's marathon training schedules can find out, at a glance, who's having the most miserable time of it at the moment.”
(Jim, Jan. 13, 2006, http://marahash.blogspot.com/2006/01/introducing-martyrometer.html)

Made-up citation: "Considering my lifestyle of eating cupcakes and cavorting by the lake, I doubt a martyrometer would make even a single beep-beep in my presence."

behipstered

adj. Like bedoofused, but hipsterosity replaces doofusitude. Let's not even discuss the hipster doofus, a hybrid that would only muddy the clear waters of these lexical streams.

Real citation: “Me either. I now feel obliged to get my jerky, rhythmically-challenged, behipstered dance on. Excuse me.”
(Dec. 23, 2006, I love you in the face, http://iloveyouintheface.blogspot.com/2006/12/skwee-its-not-just-for-im-speak-anymore.html)

Made-up citation: "'Yon behipstered varmint hath forsaken me,' said God or whatever."

cluster molestation

noun. A clusterfuck that's more disturbing than usual.

Real citation: “Koth himself was the only character who got an action, and he apparently doesn't have a Concentration skill, so the cluster molestation he was in by the time his action came around caused him to fail to cast a lightning bolt. We actually took 0 damage in the whole place.”
(FrankTrollman, March 29, 2006, The Gaming Den, http://bb.bbboy.net/thegamingden-viewthread?forum=1&thread=643&postnum=0)

Made-up citation: "Living by the lake is groovy, except on the weekend when the lakefront becomes a cluster molestation of garbage, children, parental units, speeding bikers, hot dogs, and dog crap. Then again, there are frolicking armies of half-naked women, so I guess it evens out."

freakamazoid

noun. Take edumacation. Replace the education with a freakazoid. Stir till smooth.

Real citation: “ur a car freakamazoid!!”
(may 28, 2007, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=93672208)

Made-up citation: "We all feel like freakamazoids on the inside. Except for my brother, who feels like a cross between the Pope and Pepe le Pew."

sea donkerella

noun. A type of whoring sea donkey, to borrow Heather Havrilesky’s favorite term.

Real citation: “I know it's a sin, but something rotten inside me won't let me delete "Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll" or "The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman" or the insipid eighth cycle of "America's Next Top Model." For some reason, the baby ho donkey festival and sea donkerella pageant are my personal El Guapo. I can't get enough of the skin-tight ass pants and the nasty little insinuations that Felicia can't dance or Jolena has an eating disorder. Sea donkey, who are you, to take these many forms?”
(Heather Havrilesky, April 15, 2007, Salon, http://www.salon.com/ent/tv/iltw/2007/04/15/top_design/)

Made-up citation: "Even a seasoned zoologist cannot fully explain the rituals and dress of the sea donkerella and the subspecies Short-Shorts Von Buttcheeken."

Fortress of Placentatude

noun. The sweet embrace of the doooooooom! I mean, the woooooomb!

Real citation: “It was also at this point that the kid began to get a little rowdy in its Fortress of Placentatude, kicking and punching as it puttered around the womb. Doctor Shin told us its going to be a temperamental little sucker, which is only logical considering who its parents are. Maybe we should think about finding a way to put a speed bag in there for it to practice with...”
(Jason, March 1, 2006, Explosive Radiating Growth, http://explosiveradiatinggrowth.blogspot.com/2006/03/september-27-it-is.html)

Made-up citation: "In every Fortress of Placentatude lurks a placenta mooch. Stop giggling."

whocaresified

adj. Meh-ified; blah-ified; whatever-ified.

Real citation: “The celebration was muted and whocaresified, barely any crowd noise tainting the ceremonies honoring a team that's made its way into the conversation with the Celtics, Lakers and Bulls in terms of basketball success, and of Eeyore, Les Nessman and Kelly Clarkson in terms of excitement.“
(King Kaufman, June 15, 2007, Salon, http://www.salon.com/sports/col/kaufman/2007/06/15/friday/index.html)

Made-up citation: "Aside from writing, dogs, Swedish pancakes, and The Shield, I'm feeling increasingly whocaresified about most of the world. Or maybe I'm just becoming a specialist."

post-traumatic red wine disorder

noun. As Emily Dickinson wrote, "I felt a funeral in my brain / And mourners, to and fro," yada yada ouch-cakes.

Real citation: “Oh, it was another tough day for running. I was suffering from post traumatic red wine disorder. We had a little celebration for a friend last night, and while I know it is really bad for the training, I partook in some of the celebration and woke up feeling awful. However, one must suck it up and take their medicine, so I got out and went running today.”
(May 24, 2007, Boston Push, http://darren.fastrunningblog.com/blog-05-2007.html)

Made-up citation: "I sort of like post-traumatic red wine disorder. It makes me stop skittering around like a caffeinated ferret, and I breathe the air, smell the flowers, watch the DVDs."

metric crudload

noun. An ungodly, immeasurable--and ishy--amount.

Related terms: metric buttload, metric assload, metric arseload, metric heinie-load, metric bootyload, metric poop-load, metric poo-load, metric shitload, metric crapload, metric turdload, metric fuckload, metric boatload, metric truckload, metric smurfload, metric dickload, metric cockload, metric pantload, metric pantsload, metric jesus-load, metric monkeyload.

Real citation: "I've got more great links to some other hilarious Transformers gen1 vids as well, but the language in them is pretty harsh. I'll post 'em if no one minds, just be aware that if I do, there's gonna be a metric crudload of cursing."
(http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:eR9TCqKX2oAJ:www.animemetro.com/forum/post.asp%3Fmethod%3DReplyQuote%26REPLY_ID%3D473540%26TOPIC_ID%3D19209%26FORUM_ID%3D32+%22metric+crudload%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "In grammar school, we called two kids Crud and Steam-umm, for which I have a metric crudload of regrets."

scrotastical

adj. Ball-pouch-centric.

Real citation: “OMG! OMG! OMG! Scrotastical!”
(James Campbell, May 18, 2007, http://www.jambell.com/cgi-bin/blog.pl)

Made-up citation: "You my friend are a true, one of a kind, 24-karat pain in the scrotastical region. Unfortunately, we’re not hiring at this time.”

non-penis-possessor

noun. A woman. Ewwwwww!

Real citation: Oppression is not so much something we 'qualify' for as it is the unfair system of allocation of power within which we all live, and my questions were intended to illustrate your position within them. Though it is, as you note, very important to eschew the ‘I’m more oppressed than you are’ game, it’s still very valuable to recognize the many areas in which we hwp (hetero white people - a new club that I, as a non-penis-possessor, can be a part of) enjoy unearned privilege, because it gives us the broadest possible perspective from which to understand other people’s positions.
(Michelle Marie, April 16, 2007, http://ericstoller.com/blog/2007/04/08/al-gore-naspaacpa-joint-meeting/feed/)

Made-up citation: "Watch my new documentary: Men are from Batshitistan; non-penis-possessors are from Lower Buttmunchistan. It's an illuminating look at men, women, and what it means to be complete."

poopytard

noun. A tard. Who's poopy. Like your face.

Real citation: “Who LoL, 'fucktard; Ha ha ha, cool, how long did it take your imbecile and infantile nut in the head to come up with fucktard? I about had a pee pee in my britches, Well your a big poopytard, doo doo head, LOL HaHaha.........Please, Don't stop embarrassing your self.”
(Davidadro, Dec. 17, 2005, Bill Maher, http://boards.billmaher.com/showthread.php?t=38903&page=5)

Made-up citation: "Studies show that 'Do you have a minute for the environment?' is about as winning a slogan as 'Hey, poopytard!'"

vampirey-succubusy

adj. Sounds like your mama. No offense.

Real citation: “What you’d like it to look like: Anywho, there are some pretty major changes here. You may charge extra for that, if you like. xD; Anywho, they're two RP characters from an RP with a friend of mine, and we're looking for a picture of them in a sorta vampirey-succubusy sorta format.”
(Mori Bokusochi, May 8, 2007, Gaia Online, http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/search.php?search_author=650281&action=userposthistory&start=80)

Made-up citation: "My last girlfriend was a bit too vampirey-succubusy for my taste. Now I'm looking to date a smurf."

pope-o-licious

adj. Mmm...infallible.

Real citation: “Pope-O-Licious. ‘Finger Lickin' Good.’”
(caitlen, April 20, 2005, http://peterdavid.malibulist.com/archives/002791.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm trying, but I can't find these words in my Bible: squeegee, pope-o-licious, celebutard, celebuturd, mega-destructo, creamy center."

camel toe-dar

noun. A sixth sense that detects something unrelated to camel podiatry.

Related terms: gaydar, straightdar, bi-dar, sexual-geniusdar, hickdar, loserdar, boob-dar, penis-dar, big dick-dar, hair-dar, porn-dar, sex-dar, food-dar, sleep-dar, money-dar, ho-dar, slut-dar, babe-dar, virgin-dar, jailbaitdar, hottie-dar, weirdo-dar, jerk-dar, moron-dar, dorkdar, skankdar, freak-dar, ass-dar, asshole-dar, Pretentious Club-going New York Assholedar, someone-is-staring-at-my-ass-dar, “Jesus Freak” dar, zombie-dar, fake-boob-dar, dogdar, catdar, ratdar.

Real citation: “I know this is old, but my camel toe-dar has been plugged up with my nose the last few weeks!!”
(stinkerbell, Oct. 28, 2005, MiceChat, http://www.micechat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12830&page=2)

Made-up citation: "Note to graduates: leave camel toe-dar off your resume."

henchchicken

noun. A delicious assistant indeed.

Real citation: “Eventually Omega captures Tegan and uses her as a hostage to ensure the Doctor’s good behavior. The Doctor, behaving badly as always, uses her to trace Omega back to the crypt in Amsterdam, where he works out that Omega’s henchchicken and zombie slaves are working there to complete the transfer which will get Omega a new copied-off-the-Doctor body.”
(Jan. 29, 2006, Film Forensics, http://www.filmforensics.com/autopsy/2006/01/29/arc-of-infinity/)

Made-up citation: "I won a chicken-finger-eating contest in college and consumed far too many of the tastefully named Chernobyl chicken wings. This is why I fear to employ henchchickens. When push came to barbecue sauce, what would I say to their families?"

humpologist

noun. An expert in the humpish arts.

Real citation: “I have seen it in action.. He is a true humpologist.. LOL”
(bowmedic, March 7, 2006, http://www.archerytalk.com/vb/archive/index.php/t-296409.html)

Made-up citation: "I consider columnist Judy McGuire a humpologist; she can distinguish a single leg-humping hottie from a moronic leg-humping lout."

bonertopia

noun. A veritible wonderland of throbbing joy, with nary a Mr. Limpy to be found.

Real citation: “how about the stop for the bus that takes you to bonertopia?”
(Oct. 20, 2004, Notpopular Message Boards, http://www.notpopular.com/board/viewtopic.php?topic=18455&forum=1&start=20&39)

Made-up citation: "Where would you rank my mother-in-law on a scale of Estelle Costanza to bonertopia?"

neanderchick

noun. An unevolved savage--with womanly charms and a club. Probably lacking lip gloss.

Real citation: “Whats going to happen to all of those nervous little dogs when theyre no longer cool? They're going to go to some twitchy little dog jail where theyre going to have caffeine withdrawals and suffer terribly from the cold. The yipping will be deafening, but at least they won't have to wear those humiliating outfits and get splashed by an overturned Starbucks when a neanderchick wearing espadrilles tries to drive the SUV and talk on the phone.”
(Candie Kelty, Sept. 6, 2006, Candieland, http://candiekelty.com/blog/2006/09/and-your-little-dog-too.html)

Made-up citation: "Neanderchicks vs. Nuns: The Reckoning is the feel-yourself movie of the summer."

jerkholeface

noun. A holeface who's not me.

Real citation: “Now, how can someone with an ego, obviously large enough to challange (but not defeat, for no one can defeat) godzilla in mortal combat be funny? those people are normaly just jerkholefaces.”
(Vortex, May 6, 2005, http://p072.ezboard.com/fsonichqcommunityfrm61.showMessageRange?topicID=88.topic&start=1&stop=20)

Made-up citation: "I grow weary of the jerkholeface who cleverly yells 'Taco Bell! Taco Bell!' every single fucking time he see my dog, who is not a chihuahua. It is fortunate that I am not armed to the teeth."

zombitudinous

adj. If you're not particularly alert, and you eat brains, and you're dead, this might just describe you, dear.

Real citation: “Burt Reynolds Zombie 0.3, 0.2 Not particulary Zombitudinous or capable, but thrown into the movie for laughs. He had a realistic bullet to his head scene.”
(Sept. 5, 2004, Ask Emmett, http://www.crabgod.com/response04.html)

Made-up citation: "Though 'zombitudinous' cannot be found in a single medical dictionary, even a drunk student nurse can identify zombitudinousness in the wild."

batshitometer

noun. A precise, whackadoo-detecting instrument.

Related terms: batshit loony, batshit whacko, batshit insane, batshit nutty, batshit nutso, super-batshit-insane, completely-fucking-batshit-insane, batshit-fucking-crazy, batshit-sounding, non-batshit, pre-batshit, anti-batshit, batshittery, holy batshit, batcrap, batpoop.

Real citation: "I can only imagine the very first TV commercial. Here’s an excerpt with Hogan loaded on about 5 cans of his own product, and the Batshitometer at about 35:"
(Gary Ashley, March 9, 2006, http://behindthemayhem.blogspot.com/2006/05/celebrity-drink-madness.html)

Made-up citation: "A batshitometer in my family tree would go off like a metal detector in a robot factory. Boing boing boing boing!"

exorcist-in-chief

noun. The highest title that a seasoned demon-expeller can attain.

Real citation: “The Vatican's Exorcist-in-chief declares Harry Potter the spawn of Satan. Have I missed something, or are the italian editions a bit darker?”
(Jennifer Emick, Sept. 1, 2006, http://altreligion.about.com/b/a/257277.htm)

Made-up citation: "At Liberty University, does the provost rank below or above the exorcist-in-chief?"

drunktardish

noun. Sort of sauced, sort of stupid.

Real citation: “hahah Thats a old one still made my crappy drunktardish morning brighter.. oh wait that's twlight”
(Lazarus, Jan. 2, 2006, http://forums.gamespace.net.au/archive/index.php/t-8188.html)

Made-up citation: "After a long day of travel, I feel drunktardish without having had a drop of learning juice."

ass-fatifying

present participle. Bippy-embiggening.

Related terms: de-fatifying, re-fatifying.

Real citation: "I'm all about having a girlfriend tell me what to do, as in: Take those ass-fatifying pants off immediately and put the good ass jeans back on even if they do have yogurt spilled down the front! and Forget diapers already! Just buy the effing shoes., and of course, Go ahead and mack with the hot Brazilian guy who bought you drinks at the bar. You're not getting married for four whole days, sister! (Kidding, kidding)."
(Jessica Ashley, May 16, 2007, Strollerderby, http://babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/default.aspx#20552)

Made-up citation: "I loooooooove almond butter, but I fear it's ass-fatifying me out of my pants."

Short-Shorts Von Buttcheeken

noun. A short-shorted person--short-shorted to the point of bottomless.

Real citation: “Now, it's certainly possible that Short-Shorts Von Buttcheeken was making statement about subverting the assumptions of the patriarchal gaze. I would not give it long odds, but it's possible. But whether she's doing that or she just thought the shorts looked hot, she's going to come across people like myself, and I'm not disgusted with the female form, I hate the 'slut' appellation and fight it on all fronts, and I don't particularly care whether this kid walks past my boyfriend in a thong or a wedding gown or what, but I do think that the butt is best enjoyed privately.”
(Sars, May 26, 2007, Tomato Nation, http://tomatonation.com/?p=1492#comments)

Made-up citation: "In the old days, the NBA consisted of nothing but Short-Shorts Von Buttcheekens."

robodildonics

noun. A somewhat redundant and romantic science.

Real citation: “Leave it to the japanese to lead the vanguard in robodildonics: Yes, it is what you think it is... (That's $340.00 if you're curious)...”
(Nov. 22, 2005, http://blog.myspace.com/blog/rss.cfm?friendID=29740383)

Made-up citation: "According to local robodildonics researchers, meeting women is easy."

wadbreath

noun. The inverse of a breathwad (a much rarer, more confusing entity).

Real citation: “you sir are a ungratefull slug. do you know why ur sister wansts to do this? its not that she loves your parents more than you wadhead. its casue when she kisses her son she now understands what her parents meant for her and you. Its her son that makes her relize how priceless your parents are. BBYou cheap bastard by your vocabulary i know ur not some bum so you do have the money or at least a way of getting it. ITS NOT ABOUT U WADBREATH but when ur bury your parents then it will hit home what a masterpeice of a son you WERE NOT! you will spend tenfold on the therapy alone to try to come to terms with the guilt you will earn for being a cheap bastard. Have a nice day cool blog tho :)”
(Sept. 10, 2006, http://slightlydrunk.blogdrive.com/archive/76.html)

Made-up citation: "I have a dog, so I loathe bikers on the sidewalk. I dream of yelling at them, 'What the matter, wadbreath? Is the street too scary?'"

non-betesticled

adj. Describes a sad state endured by women, many dogs, most men, and some cars (that lack bumper nuts).

Real citation: "Our spy in the JMCS camp continues to keep us abreast of scandalous goings-on in clubland. This time it transpires that at the most recent SMC annual dinner, the honoured guest from the junior club was - you've guessed it - of the non-betesticled variety."
(The Angry Corrie, No. 5, Jan/Feb. 1992, http://bubl.ac.uk/org/tacit/TAC/tac05/thisland.htm)

Made-up citation: "My non-betesticled dog isn't non-hump-happy; he's joined in 6 three-way humps and 471 traditional pairings in just the last month."

accentgasm

noun. An enthusiastic reaction to a voice that doesn't sound like mine, which is lame, American, and car-salesman-ish.

Real citation: "OH! I was so teased by the Desmond/Sayid scene! I have longed for a conversation between those two (if only for the pretty and the accentgasm)."
(wildcat05, "3-19: "The Brig" 2007.05.02," May 2, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3153661&view=findpost&p=7763068)

Made-up citation: "Women get the short end of the dildo in many areas, but they are known to have more accentgasms."

man-strumpet

noun. A male, Shakespearian ho.

Real citation: “I still think you’re a man-strumpet.”
(Sept. 25, 2006, http://www.leoslyrics.com/posts/list/45/16526.page)

Made-up citation: "Did you just call me a man-strumpet or a muppet? And should I be offended either way?"

moistenator

noun. A kavorka-infused love cowboy who leaves no stone unturned, no cookie uncrumbled, no panties dry.

Real citation: “The 4 of us stayed in room 107 of Gilligan's Hostel in Cairns for a couple of weeks. Left to right: Sebastien from Germany. Nickname(s) included Seba, Veron, Kraut, and Herman Ze German. Alex Woolf from London. Nickname(s) were plain old Woolfy and lightweight. Me. Nickname(s) Sexy Beast and The Moistenator. Shaun from Brisbane. Nickname(s) Brisie, Wrong Spelt Shaun and Arnie.”
(Alan M, June 2, 2006, http://ringo.com/photos/photo.html?photoId=133231745)

Made-up citation: "America still stays up all night writing love letters to much-missed moistener-in-chief Bill Clinton."

visit Feakle parish

verb phrase. Have anal sex.

Real citation: “I’m thinking ‘Feakle parish’ needs to enter the lexicon with lower-case santorum. I shall now use it in a sentence: ‘Last night my boyfriend and I visited Feakle parish. Luckily there was no santorum.’”
(Dan Savage, “A Feakle Matter,” May 23, 2007, Slog, http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/05/o_they_will_know_we_are_christians_by_ou_4)

Made-up citation: "Visiting Feakle parish: it's as Catholic as ruler-wielding nuns and Guinness-slurping popes."

re-lackey-ize

verb. To restore a fellow citizen to their proper role as a personal assistant. Or a stooge.

Real citation: "Turning heel on Shawn Michaels and "re-lackey-izing" Randall Orton (whose lone value seems to be as a mostly-mute second fiddle) as part of a new Evolution, anyone?
(Rick Sciaia, May 18, 2007, Online Onslaught, http://www.onlineonslaught.com/columns/oo/20070518.shtml)

Made-up citation: "Being a freelancer has a lot of perks, but I could be re-lackey-ized by the corporate teat for the right price. Or any price. Please hold me."

wienerhuahua

noun. Move over puggle, labradoodle, Brangelina.

Real citation: “I'm not knocking the little dogs, I love little dogs. I'm the proud mother of a wienerhuahua named Snake.”
(Candie Kelty, Sept. 6, 2006, Candieland, http://candiekelty.com/blog/2006/09/and-your-little-dog-too.html)

Made-up citation: "We sell many designer dogs: check out our selection of wienerhuahuas, hamsterhuahuas, and robo-schnauzers."

co-fornicator

noun. An accomplice in horizontal-mambo-type activities.

Real citation: "The Scene - Notice that it is just Jesus and the woman. All the distractions of her life have been removed. None of her 5 ex-husbands are present. Her current co-fornicator is nowhere around. None of the women who so intensely hated her and her lifestyle are to be found here. It is just her and Jesus."
(Alan Carr, The Sermon Notebook, 2003, http://www.sermonnotebook.org/new%20testament/John%204_1-30.htm)

Made-up citation: "She calls me her partner; I call her my co-fornicator. Probably not a good sign."

henchdoofus

noun. A not-so-intimidating lackey or lickspittle, and a close relative of the hipster doofus.

Real citation: “Superman Returns was very much a "requel" (a term that isn't mine, but I don't recall where I first ran across it) to the 1978 Donner film. Returns even follows the plot structure of the original. As a sequel/homage to the 1978 Donner film, this movie is note perfect (even better than the original nowhere is there a character as annoying as Luthor's henchdoofus Otis)”
(WizO_Sith, July 6, 2006, http://boards1.wizards.com/wotc_archive/index.php/t-660827)

Made-up citation: "Things my apartment needs: a coat rack, a henchdoofus, a smoothie maker, a pinball machine."

buttockitude

noun. That's ass, people.

Real citation: "Nature has many examples of that kind of buttockitude."
(Oct. 19, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.cecil-adams/msg/d4c006405cbb5b51?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "It's hot today...hotter than the undergarments that caress Satan's special place and buttockitude."

dickheadification

noun. A process by which a suave and gentle young lad is transformed, phoenix-like, into what our Canadian brothers and sisters call a hosehead.

Real citation: "The dickheadification of Dennis Miller is complete and you may now guiltlessly wish for his death, or imminent cancellation."
(June 23, 2004, http://theotherpage.com/archives/2004/jun/062304.html)

Made-up citation: "Signs of adolescence: profanity, t-shirts, dickheadification, hair."

schmoopology

adj. The art of seduction, plus a bag of sugar.

Real citation: "Schmoopology: Lesson One"
(Jonathan Woodward, Sept. 14, 2005, http://woodwardiocom.livejournal.com/359028.html)

Made-up citation: "I am a doctor of schmoomology. Won't you be my nun of neurology? Make that 'nurse of nymphology.' I got a little excited."

coitalicious

adj. Conjugalicious.

Real citation: "Thus engaged in sentient cellular inchoative intercourse
They immerse themselves in a fervent facula furane
And become one in an orgasmic electroluminescent helianthic fireball
A gyrating glowing globe of coitalicious elan"
(Tim Holtom, Azlan, http://www.azlan.biz/poetrypages/exOvoOmnia.html)

Made-up citation: "Dominance, not coitalicious bliss, is behind my dog's hump-happy lifestyle."

tweeometer

noun. A precice, preciousness-detecting instrument--always handy when neologisms are involved.

Real citation: "(This blog has been checked by the Tweeometer. No kittens, lambs or other cuddly animals were detected)"
(Canbush, April 30, 2006, A Sort of Journal, http://canbush.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm thinking of starting a new humor blog about my dog. But can I avoid setting off my internal tweeometer, located near the kidneys?"

freedominess

noun. Freedom Lite.

Related terms: truthiness, faminess.

Real citation: "I think we need to start calling it 'freedominess' now. By the time Bush gets done with it, that’s all we’ll have left."
(ppGaz, June 3, 2006, Balloon Juice, http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=7059)

Made-up citation: "Mmmm. Ah. Don't mind me, I'm just breathing the sweet air of freedominess."

shitheelette

noun. A shitheel with insufficient feminine charms.

Real citation: "Liar who deserves to have your spouse informed what a shitheel or shitheelette you are."
(The Gonzman, Aug. 7, 2006, http://mensnewsdaily.com/2006/08/07/he-she-thing-it-responds/)

Made-up citation: "Shiftless shitheelettes shoved shaved sharecroppers by the seashore, a sheepherder shyly shared."

robo-testicle

noun. A ball-bot--just in time for the holidays.

Real citation: "As an experienced cyclist I'd have to recommend a lighter material for a robo-testicle; steel is just too heavy, perhaps carbon fiber, titanium or thermo plastics. This will give you a greater strength to weight ratio, but also limits your available sources of testosterone production. Call Floyd if you're looking to increase your T-E ration during training or competition."
(XJ96, Feb. 14, 2007, http://www.roadie.ca/forums/viewtopic.php?p=376&sid=f280d27e52dc827ff1e3e8b0cef1989d)

Made-up citation: "According to tradition, the robo-testicles go on last, just before you unnervingly scream, 'Arise! Arise!'"

twat-lite

noun. Twit.

Real citation: "Perhaps he tries to get Kate to run off with him, to avoid all the fighting. But the twit (Twit: see, friends, it's like twat-lite and without all the evil connotations and denotations) still thinks that Jack is Jesus -- and it costs her life."
(Cat Kicker, "Picking Up Transmissions: Speculation With Spoilers," May 2, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3119603&view=findpost&p=7760306)

Made-up citation: "Twat-lite... Let's go ahead and cross that off the list of baby and beer names right now."

poochy-lipped

adj. Trout pout.

Real citation: "A while back Jane Fonda found a new ally in her battle with being a decaying cutie-pie. Injections, face lifts, dye, flaky philosophy, and many hours a day of aerobics were no longer enough to hang on to even an out-of-focus resemblance to the poochy-lipped mannequin of Roger Vadim's Barbarella."
(John Chuckman, April 5, 2005, Dissident Voice, http://www.dissidentvoice.org/Apr05/Chuckman0405.htm)

Made-up citation: "When the Martians take over, they will spend centuries trying to understand the popularity of Star Trek: The Next Generation and poochy-lippedness."

dog-ass-scented

adj. Smell the magic.

Real citation: "ummmm...dog-ass scented goo"
(Feb. 20, 2007, http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/gazillion-fetch-a-bubble-machine-drives-dogs-wild-238086.php)

Made-up citation: "I suppose dog-ass-scented is preferable to dog-barf-marinated."

quadruple gak

interjection. Barfy cubed. Uh, what's one more than cubed? I am not a mathematician. I am not an animal!

Related terms: gak, double gak, triple gak.

Real citation: "About the seal feces - quadruple gak! I had to take a cat to the vet this a.m., and he crapped in his carrier - twice - on the way there. How on earth could you eat ****?"
(Darcie, Nov. 20, 2006, http://www.americastestkitchen.com/ibb/posts.aspx?postID=176772&postRepeater1-p=3)

Made-up citation: "I haven't been so moved as to say 'quadruple gak' in recent days. I've been living gak-free, thanks to Mister Jesus."

arm-punchy

adj. Used to describe any upper-appendage-flinging behavior.

Real citation: "I've stopped hating him now. I let my anger go and now I quite like his arm punchy dancing, dubbed voice and dickhead grin."
(MakeTeaNotLove, July 26, 2006, http://www.arcticmonkeys.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=16544&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=30&sid=89cf0e401a887e56f1a5d12489c3aae3)

Made-up citation: "I'm no dance scholar, but I believe Beavis was the master of the arm-punchy dance stylings."

metric dorkload

noun. A large, less-than-suave amount.

Related terms: metric buttload, metric assload, metric arseload, metric heinie-load, metric bootyload, metric poop-load, metric poo-load, metric shitload, metric crapload, metric turdload, metric fuckload, metric boatload, metric truckload, metric smurfload, metric cuntload, metric dickload, metric cockload, metric pantload, metric pantsload, metric jesus-load, metric monkeyload.

Real citation: "1e was a glorious mess. Within that mess was a metric dorkload of fun."
(buzz, Nov. 3, 2006, http://www.enworld.org/archive/index.php/t-179352.html)

Made-up citation: "A metric dorkload of my posts mention Battlestar Galactica. I'm not proud. Or a Cylon."

de-Rosie'fy

verb. To purge a show, continent, or sea vessel from all vestiges of Rosie O'Donnell.

Real citation: "Take the American Digester. The Digester joined the antiwar movement in 1965, that didn't turn out swell, so for forty two years he's been manning the recliner, awaiting his nation's call. And now that call has been sent and received. He will join Michelle Malkin's crusade to de-Rosie'fy The View."
(James Wolcott, April 5, 2007, http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/blogs/wolcott/2007/04/its_touching_se.html)

Made-up citation: "Now that The View has been de-Rosie'fied, I need someone to look at my bathroom."

mindfucktastic

adj. Open mind. Insert bleep.

Related terms: mindfucktacular.

Real citation: "'Lost' is mindfucktastic"
(May 25, 2006, http://pheryx.phreeblogs.com/2006/05/25/lost-is-mindfucktastic/)

Made-up citation: "At least the Pagan religions acknowledged that some gods are mindfucktastic and pervy."

cavemanitude

noun. Look deep into a Neanderthal-type's soul--Wait, do they have souls?--and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "yeah, we probably would... i mean, not at the very beginnings of cavemanitude and stuff...then we needed to screw everyone because 1- we died sooner, 2- our kids died more and 3- there were less of us, and we needed numbers. nowadays however, we don't have that problem and don't need the sex to reproduce as much. but our once vital hormones are still spewing signals that we don't need to follow anymore"
(Seraph, July 5, 2005, http://www.mindistortion.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1831&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=105&sid=55ef4092390984d4f55b4c017704e0df)

Made-up citation: "I never would have believed that one day my conception of cavemanitude would involve car insurance and political correctness more than club-wielding and cavewoman-dragging."

sado-optimist

noun. A positive thinker with cruel tendencies; someone who would remove your eyeballs with a spork, and a smile.

Real citation: "It seems that what the base is looking for in a President is a pro-life optimist with a sadistic streak--like, a sado-optimist, if you will."
(Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, May 7, 2007)

Made-up citation: "Sado-optimism, studies reveal, scores 110 kajillion points on the batshitometer."

diaper-faced

adj. Poopy head!

Related term: diaper-headed.

Real citation: "take for instance the congressional bill coming up next week. McCain, Lindsay Graham, and Warner are all Conservatives that don't want to define the interpretation of what the bill was supposed to provide - protection for US service people and the CIA, as it relates to the War crimes act under the Geneva convention. They are further putting our people in jeopardy by leaving an opening for some diaper-faced lawyer to challenge the rules of engagement."
(Sept. 15, 2006, http://www.tribalwar.com/forums/archive/t-449859-p-6.html)

Made-up citation: "Diaper-faced douchebags. That's what's wrong with this country."

Assclownistan

noun. A popular summer destination for assclownologists.

Related terms: Assmunchistan, Asshatistan.

Real citation: "Assclown are asssclowns, to me, there is no nationality for that. I guess you can say they come from Assclownistan."
(March 18, 2005, http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showthread.php?t=37896&page=8)

Made-up citation: "Our summer tour is going through Assclownistan, Batshitistan, Lower Buttmunchistan, and Poughkeepsie.

bewadded

adj. What happens to knickers when they're in a, you know.

Real citation: "Not surprising, there were some bewadded knickers from the edit."
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Kafziel/archive3)

Made-up citation: "Doth thine bewadded something something thee thou fishmonger!"

buttockologist

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

pre-preggish

adj. Prior to joining the pudding club.

Real citation: "What is your goal weight? Pre-preggish weight - maybe a couple pounds heavier"
(cdm226, Feb. 2, 2007, http://talk.sheknows.com/showthread.php?t=543743)

Made-up citation: "I wish we could go back, Ellen: back to the pre-preggish, pre-schmoopification, pre-douchebaggery days when we first laid eyes on each other in the tea shop."

dickholehead

noun. A most holy dickhead, perhaps.

Real citation: "dickholehead.....hehe"
(JMAC, March 22, 2007, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=55289435)

Made-up citation: "Birth records from the forties reveal that many Dicks were not named Richard at all. Parents who named their sons Dickholehead suffered from a rare genetic disorder."

catfightiness

noun. Rowr, one might say.

Real citation: "Rex, could Albrechtson possibly damage MediaWatch? This has great potential for catfightiness."
(Rex Ringschott, May 10, 2005, Rex in the City, http://rexinthecity.blogspot.com/2005/05/good-news-from-iraq.html)

Made-up citation: "If God didn't want us to enjoy catfightiness, he wouldn't have given us DVDs."

post-traumatic sexy caged-heat syndrome

noun. An affliction specific to imprisoned TV bombshells and he-bombshells.

Real citation: "Oh, and the whole denying of the post-coital Sawyer snuggles? Rude! She really doesn't love him, it was all post-traumatic sexy caged-heat syndrome."
(greentara, "3-19: "The Brig" 2007.05.02," May 3, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3153661&view=findpost&p=7763558)

Made-up citation: "I don't think 'post-traumatic sexy caged-heat syndrome' is an apt diagnosis of the love between a parakeet and a finger."

sardonica bone

noun. I think it's connected to the trenchant bone and the laconic bone.

Real citation: "3. 'My novel is x thousand words but it reads longer'. If you don't know why this is funny, need to sharpen your Sardonica bone."
(April 27, 2007, Miss Snark, the literary agent, http://misssnark.blogspot.com/2007/04/slow-night-at-toaster.html)

Made-up citation: "There's no treatment in the world that will repair a damaged sardonica bone, local doctors deadpanned."

John Q. Fuckface

noun. The common fucking man.

Real citation: "So, in addition to the terrible music, mobile phones have given John Q. Fuckface abysmal 2D games."
(metalangel, March 1, 2005, http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1703606)

Made-up citation: "According to polls, John Q. Fuckface would vote for a hairless rat in the next Presidential election if the rodent seemed forthright, God-fearing, and not-too-rabid."

spermomatic

adj. Like vegomatic, but a little less nutritious.

Real citation: "We men are simply spermomatic dispensers for a woman's amusement or personal use."
(lbsbro, Oct. 17, 2006, Plenty of Fish, http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts5582792.aspx)

Made-up citation: "Buy my new book: Spermomatic dispensers are from Iraq; women are from Iran."

moronitudinous

adj. Duh.

Real citation: "Actually, while I think Bush is donkey manure personified, I think he gives an OK speech. However his moronitudinous qualities really shine through on the few occasions where he has to answer Q + A and try to fire up a few neurons on his own."
(March 6, 2003, http://forums.appleinsider.com/archive/index.php/t-12888.html)

Made-up citation: "Multitudes of moronitudinous men make mulch milkshakes, mumbled Megan."

eco-ninja-warrior-kinda-chick

noun. A very specific species of eco-chick.

Real citation: "i wanna be an eco-ninja-warrior-kinda-chick"
(Oct. 26, 2006, Blogzira, http://www.lucypepper.com/blogzira/2006/10/i-wanna-be-an-eco-ninja-warrior-kinda-chick/)

Made-up citation: "My mom was an eco-ninja-warrior-kinda-chick. She met my dad at a ninja convention by the slushee machine."

non-batshitified

noun. Lacking fresh batshit of either the poopy or loony variety.

Related terms: batshit loony, batshit whacko, batshit insane, batshit nutty, batshit nutso, batshit-deranged, super-batshit-insane, pre-batshit-insane, completely-fucking-batshit-insane, batshit-fucking-crazy, batshit-sounding, non-batshit, pre-batshit, anti-batshit, batshittery, batshititude, batshitologist, holy batshit, batcrap, batpoop, batfuck.

Real citation: "If I saw a bat anywhere near my pizza, well... I wouldn't eat it. Or give any of it to my friends. In fact I would tell my friends to stay away... who wants to take the risk of the bat shit entering the mouth and going into the throat, destroying the very memory of good (non-batshitified) pizza in the process?"
(July 13, 2006, http://www.donmurphy.net/board/showthread.php?t=10983&page=106)

Made-up citation: "I'm told my crack-smoking, mega-nutso rat terrier will mature into a non-batshitified state in about twelve years."

crotchilicious

adj. Mmmm....Kentucky Fried Crotch.

Real citation: "I prefer to call him Crotchilicious."
(Voltes5, Jan. 16, 2002, http://p095.ezboard.com/Yo-Crotchrot/frealitysucksfrm45.showMessage?topicID=810.topic)

Made-up citation: "I'm looking for a career-minded, open-minded, crotchilicious Christian scientist who enjoys field hockey and pea soup. Must love chinchillas."