crapportunity

noun. A crapfestacular opportunity.

Real citation: "I say that the "Curly W" logo of the Nats is a symbol with two simultaneous meanings -- for "crap" but also for "opportunity": If you will, "crapportunity."
(Dan Shanoff, March 16, 2007, Deadspin, http://deadspin.com/sports/baseball/baseball-season-preview-washington-nationals-244758.php)

Made-up citation: "Seize the crapportunity, kids. It's as easy as shitting the bed."

roommate-cest

noun. A less genetically dubious--yet still unadvisable--form of incest.

Real citation: "Are we talking about roommate-cest here? Bad idea buddy, really bad idea."
(zesovietrussian, Dec. 14, 2005, http://www.geekculture.com/ultimatebb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=7;t=000128)

Made-up citation: "Roommate-cest won't produce any web-footed infants, but paying the cable bill may become an issue when the romance fades."

boogerbutthead

noun. A boogery butthead? A heady boogerbutt? You make the call.

Real citation: "red is a boogerbutthead ;o ^"
(kiwiix33, Aug. 21, 2007, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:DLfZahW9a3UJ:www.questlife.net/forum/archive/index.php%3Ft-1018.html+boogerbutthead&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Modern humans are descended from Neanderthals and bonobos, as well as many other banana-eating boogerbuttheads."

churchgasm

noun. An orgasmic experience--with pews.

Real citation: "so edith was having a churchgasm diring service, during her annual chirch masterbation period. THUS in conclusion. I hate church and -NOTHING- will change that. =]"
(Gracie, Nov. 12, 2006, http://www.melodramatic.com/users/squisheh/%E2%99%A5Bad%20Times~xx/0)

Made-up citation: "All U.S. politicians are required to produce believable, toe-curling churchgasms--because this country is cuckoo-bananas."

bedoofused

adj. An elegant, almost Shakespearian alternative to “doofusistic.”

Real citation: "I seem to remember Mark posting about surgically splicing some X-Box controller to work as a USB device once upon a time, so maybe he will regail us with his exploits of Computer Science genius while me and my penguin look on in bedoofused discombobulation."
(Shabba-doo, May 20, 2004, http://www.bad-candy.com/mb/viewtopic.php?p=37834&sid=222792ecf8d9fc6e193020ec874bd2d3)

Made-up citation: "To stand bedoofused in the morning air really sucks."

plookload

noun. In the lingo of Frank Zappa, a fuckload. Not part of the metric system.

Real citation: "Damn, there seems to be a plookload of new people." (Blandy Buchanan, Sept. 11, 2006, http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=84111&page=468)

Made-up citation: "Thank ye for thy bountiful plookload!"

God on a blue surfboard

idiom. A close relative of "Mother Theresa on a motorbike."

Real citation: "Cally...normally, I try to be civilized and not make the obvious jokes about a character I don't like, and an actress I'm afraid isn't quite up to the job. But not tonight. The acting? Stank on ice. And Cally, within the story? Needs dieing. Stat. Christ I hate her. God on a blue surfboard, I hate her."
(Kaffyr, "3-18: "The Son Also Rises" 2007.03.11," March 12, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3152128&view=findpost&p=7362563)

Made-up citation: "God on a blue surfboard! I'm a fan of Swedish pancakes."

betrayal-y

adj. Et tu, buttmunch?

Real citation: "82.37 cups of betrayal-y goodness."
(July 21, 2006, http://fallingupstairs.wordpress.com/tag/random/)

Made-up citation: "Is that your destiny? To be as betrayal-y yet adorable as a naked mole rat?"

brainwashatron

noun. A handy mind-laundering device.

Real citation: "Wow, a week of conservatism training at Reagan Ranch Retreat, where you will have an opportunity to explore the experiences Reagan enjoyed! But don't let them keep you in the BrainWashaTron too long or you'll be enjoying the experiences Reagan currently enjoys."
(Oct. 13, 2003, World O'Crap, http://blogs.salon.com/0002874/2003/10/13.html)

Made-up citation: "Put me in the brainwashatron and don't skimp on the brain bleach!"

wankitudinous

adj. Because "wanky" just doesn't have enough syllables.

Real citation: "I keep all but the truly wankitudinous. Those I give to charity. (Not because I'm a nice person, just because it seems like more trouble to sell them). Apart from "A Portrait of the Artist...", which annoyed me so much I threw it out the window to relieve my hatred."
(Milla, May 4, 2006, http://www.bowlie.com/forum/library/25669-books-keep-not-keep-question.html)

Made-up citation: "Many seekers of wankitudinous delights end up on my site. Sorry, filth-seekers! All I got are words."

crapulent-tastic

adj. Fantastically crapulent.

Real citation: "Crapulent-tastic banner!"
(http://crapulent.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1151&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=45&sid=223bff0626419ed1e505adc5537f9dd4)

Made-up citation: "The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the crapulent-tastic are bold as a lion."

spermliness

noun. A spermatozoa-type quality that has something to do with manhood and peopling the earth.

Real citation: "Between the time we got our diagnosis and did some research and the time of our appointment, T and I did some soul searching. Amazingly, T is one of the only men I have ever met who honestly doesn't care about carrying on a genetic legacy. Not only that, but he is man enough to NOT associate manliness with spermliness. Thank God. It would have been the Crisco-flavored icing on the soggy-ass cake if he were like that."
(amyesq, Jan. 23, 2005, Fertiley Challenged, http://amyesq.blogspot.com/2005/01/ttc-early-years.html)

Made-up citation: "If spermliness is next to Godliness, then God should watch out for the wet spot."

death-bed-ish

adj. Sweet-oblivion-y...with a mattress.

Real citation: "Well, in light of the movie, the first verse makes a lot more sense. I didn't even know it was featured in the movie, although I saw it, so I don't even know how the hell I didn't even put 2 and 2 together. However, the rest of the song just seems so..... death-bed-ish to me, you know?"
(evian, Jan. 31, 2000, http://www.smoe.org/lists/joni/v2000.n063)

Made-up citation: "My new band: Desmond and the Death-bed-ish Dingleberries."

slackassage

noun. The Church of the Subgenius worships slack, but only the Latvian Orthodox church values slackassage, which they define as a kind of anti-kavorka.

Related terms: slackassitude, slackassery.

Real citation: "It's called Slackassage...my new word for posts that never seem to post and then post twice...I should sell this **** to Webster's and make a fortune.:D"
(cncmomma, April 16, 2006, http://www.cncden.com/forums/archive/index.php?t-14631.html)

Made-up citation: "The only enduring criticism of John Donne's poetry is that he rhymed 'slackassage' and 'wackassage' too many times. Hadn't Donne heard of 'crackassage'?"

depressionosity

noun. Even Valley girls get the blues.

Real citation: "i am emo. emos rule the world with there depressionosity"
(evierox, http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=293985)

Made-up citation: "Clinically speaking, anyone who uses the word depressionosity is not suffering from depressionosity."

succubusless

adj. Where did my dreamy female dreamtime demon go?

Real citation: "Well, since it doesn't look as though a succubus is ever gonna make her rounds here I could always take a trip out to Vegas, Prostitution in legal in Nevada - I think it should be everywhere cause there are alot of succubusless subjects out there. It would only cost a few bucks and your soul won't get sucked out immediatly."
(Zaltor, Feb. 14. 2003, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.folklore.ghost-stories/msg/8bf3bc4850fac502)

Made-up citation: "After the exorcism, I was succubusless and demon-free. And lonely...sob."

expositionator-y

adj. 1) Take terminator-y. 2) Replace the gore and violence with brain-melting blah blah blah. 3) Stir till yeast is dissolved.

Real citation: "Ahhhh. I really liked this episode. The only parts that rang false were in the Tyllium refinery with the kids. I know, their little bits of a story were featured to make a point and to push the plot forward, but there was something kind of Expositionator-y about them that didn't quite work for me."
(amarantainbk, "3-16: "Dirty Hands" 2007.02.25," Feb. 26, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3151936&view=findpost&p=7245599)

Made-up citation: "The Bible's a little expositionator-y for me. Hasn't God heard of 'show, don't tell'?"

fuckheadess

noun. The world is full of fuckheads. Some are womenfolk.

Real citation: "How do you know it's not a fuckheadess?"
(Dopefish, Sept. 2, 2001, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.hacking/msg/57043779f4454b1b?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Your mama's a fuckheadess, and your dad's a fuckheadess-fucker."

thwackitude

noun. Ouch. Or, woohoo! Depending on the thwackee.

Real citation: "Golly! I hit the cages again tonight and was mighty improved fom yesterday. I saw the ball better and got my legs and hips into the swing much better. I'm still hitting better from the left side, but once I started focussing on the ball and its proper state of thwackitude, I started making very respectable contact."
(Liam, May 11, 2005, http://heylisten.blogspot.com/2005/05/south-will-never-rise-agien.html)

Made-up citation: "I hope Jackie Chan is enduring minimal thwackitude in his movies these days. Dude deserves a break."

douchebagwad

noun. Sometimes, "douchebag" just doesn't cover it.

Related terms: douchebaghead.

Real citation: "we be chilaxing pretty soon
douchebagwad
mannnn"
(Sept. 11, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:vIm-ji5edWsJ:profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendid%3D53894445+douchebagwad&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Just as humans and chimps share 98% of their DNA, the difference between a douchebag and douchebagwad is subtle."

hellhound-free

adj. Completely lacking any frisky Satanic canines.

Real citation: ""The Prom" does have a couple of nice moments when Cordelia realizes that Xander has made sure she looks spectacular for the big dance, and watching Wesley weigh the ethics of asking her to dance is okay, but Cordy really is a minor player in this one. The emphasis is on Buffy, who is determined that since they all might be killed when the Mayor ascends the least she can do is make sure her friends have a hellhound-free prom."
(Lawrance M. Bernabo, Dec. 17, 2005, http://www.amazon.com/Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer/dp/B000260QJC)

Made-up citation: "Our products are video-equipped, hellhound-free, government-subsidized, and battery-operated. Join today. We will be as one."

dealbreakerness

noun. The essence of something that spooked the horse, shit the bed, and soured the deal.

Real citation: "Nothing else in his answer confuses us away from this first sentence. In response to a direct question on the dealbreakerness of carve-out personal accounts (the only ones worth debating), the president used the word 'voluntary' in the first sentence. And it's hard to be murky on this: carve-out personal savings accounts vs. add-on accounts is a black and white issue. Because of the way the SSA pays benefits, either all of us accept carve-outs, or none of us. Add-ons can be voluntary, and voluntary is the key word."
(Michael, April 29, 2005, http://rosettaweblog.blogspot.com/2005/04/i-must-have-missed-something-part-2.html)

Made-up citation: "When dating, cats have the stench of dealbreakerness for me, because they make my lungs shut down, like adorable, furry Darth Vaders."

dramaqueentastic

adj. A close, demanding relative of "promqueentastic."

Real citation: "what kind of loser writes a blog to his friends when he could just go buy them a drink and talk to them? 'Oh I know, I'll sit on my fat ass and type instead of kickin it with my homiez, thats so much cooler and more effective than face-to-face communication' dramaqueentastic!
(SCUD, 2005, http://www.yayhooray.com/thread/54781/People-with-Blogs?page=2)

Made-up citation: "There's a fine line between assertive and dramaqueentastic. OK, maybe there isn't."

nose-smushage

noun. An unromantic meeting of the cartilage.

Real citation: "Ahh what's worse is when you're kissing someone who DOESN'T tilt, cuz then whichever way you go, you have to bend your neck even MORE to avoid nose-smushage."
(Sue, Sept. 9, 2005, http://www.gunson.ca/blog/archives/2005/09/another_highly.html)

Made-up citation: "Nose-smushage and psycho-meetage are two hazards of dating."

Mr. Sweaty Scream-o

noun. Not who Mom and Dad hoped you'd be. Alas.

Real citation: "Mr. Sweaty Scream-o and Captain Overreaction – Feb. 6"
(Kevin L. Hoover, Feb. 6, 2007, The Arcata Eye, http://www.arcataeye.com/index.php?module=Pagesetter&tid=2&topic=7&func=viewpub&pid=463&format=full)

Made-up citation: "My parents named me ESPN. Would 'Mr. Sweaty Scream-o' have been any worse?"

fart-knockery

noun. Some kind of Beavis and Butthead-ish idiocy or flatulence.

Real citation: "May the glory of communication and discussion flourish rather than flaming, trolling, bashing, and general fart-knockery for lack of a less appropraite term that isn't offensive."
(Nick Powers, May 16, 2006, STJ Ultimate, http://vtultimate.org/v-web/portal/cms/ac/index.php?option=com_forum&Itemid=56&page=viewtopic&p=19250&sid=73a9d24da4ec62da8d082480200964f1)

Made-up citation: "New research shows fart-knockery is more common in boys than girls. Preliminary findings also indicate boys have testicles and toy trucks."

crapologism

noun. A crap-diddly-tastic neologism.

Real citation: "Yes, technically, it's a word, and technically, it's probably correct as cited. That's the letter of the law. The spirit of the law is that it's a pretentious post-MBA marketing coinage that is both obnoxious and extraneous, and if I want to discourage its use, which I do, I need to dismiss it out of hand on The Vine.
You're right on the merits, of course, but I'm not about to split that hair if it means someone thinks that kind of crapologism is acceptable.
Words I myself make up or bend to my will are of course exempt from this curt judgment. Hee."
(Sarah D. Bunting, private email, March 2, 2007)

Made-up citation: "Crapologisms are as plentiful as prepositions, yet so much more barfbag-worthy."

stank-a-riffic

adj. Stink-o-riffic.

Real citations: "Speaking of incompetent developers with no regard for human life, the next stop on our stank-a-riffic tour is the Roebling Oil Field. . . ."
(Judy McGuire, "Smellevision!," Feb. 22, 2007, Bad Advice, http://badadvice.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/02/smellevision.html)

Made-up citation: "What's more stank-a-riffic? The beers you swill, the sheets you soil, or the gene pool from which you emerged?

bullshit in a can

noun phrase. Not the freshest twaddle.

Real citation: "the last company i worked for was bullshit in a can. they had their own special words for everything. nobody bothered to learn them. we prefered english to corporatese."
(arachnophilia, Aug. 7, 2005, http://arachnophilia.deviantart.com/journal/6155547/)

Made-up citation: "Bullshit in a can is common in this hemisphere, along with bullshit on wheels and bullshit on toast."

post-traumatic stress syndromey

adj. PTSS-ish.

Real citation: "OK - as a Starbuck lover, I think I have the right to say this: what an incredible ass. That goes for one-eyed too. Very Post tramatic stress syndromey, but still, WTF?"
(cwaldo, "3-4: "Collaborators" 2006.10.27," Oct. 28, 2006, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3147691&view=findpost&p=6427439)

Made-up citation: "After breaking up with my girlfriend and doing my taxes, I feel kind of post-traumatic stress syndromey. And poor. And sex goddessless."

ball-droppitude

noun. Wide receivers drop literal, pigskin-type balls, and the rest of us drop enormous metaphorical balls, making for a boatload of ball-droppitude in the world.

Real citation: "But for sheer ball-droppitude and apparent cluelessness, I'd still put my money on Glenallen. Though I understand that Candlestick supposedly has the most difficult-to-play right field on Earth, it bothers me a lot that Hill hasn't improved."
(Gregg Pearlman, "May Day! May Day! We're Losing Altitude!," May 3, 1997, http://eeeeeegp.com/Notes97/May97Notes1.html)

Made-up citation: "Lately, I've been suffering from frequent ball-droppitude--and yes, my testicles are doing just fine, thank you."

TWSSing

present participle. Throwing "that's what she said" around like you're Michael Scott or it's TWSS Day.

Real citation: "alas, I’ve been teaching PE to elementary school kids all day. And I don’t think it’s all that appropriate to use TWSS with them, although there were more than a few moments in the teachers lounge I thought it to myself. Now that I’m out of school, there will be much TWSSing tonight!"
(Markus, Feb. 15, 2007, http://www.officetally.com/international-thats-what-she-said-day)

Made-up citation: "TWSSing in church is all the rage for hipster evangelicals and teenage punks."

mad scientistette

noun. A researcher with demented assistants, diabolical plans, and feminine wiles.

Real citation: "Still made me giggle thinking you laughing like a mad scientistette. Yes its a real word goddamnit!"
(Manfre, March 30, 2004, http://www.ubersite.com/m/28906)

Made-up citation: "My grandmother was a mad scientistette and my grandfather was an animal-puller. That's why I am part mountain goat."

grovelicious

adj. A close relative of craven-licious, beggar-licious, and plead-o-licious.

Real citation: "I'm trying to think of something suitably grovelicious, but nothing comes to mind...."
(CunningLinguist, June 9, 2004, http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/7812)

Made-up citation: "I'm gentlemanly, well-groomed, and grovelicious. I feel I would be a good asset to your company."

bedwettology

noun. The dampest science.

Real citation: "But you appear to now have one in Freakinology, eh? And that's a good sign! Degrees in Doofusology, Whineology, Bedwettology, and last, but not least, Buttinskology are worthless and you shouldn't waste your time trying to get them. Please? Heh-heh-heh."
(Joe Finocchiaro, Aug. 6, 1996, http://groups.google.com/group/rec.pets.dogs.breeds/msg/139d907cfee2cbf5?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "A rare boast: I have a doctorate in bedwettology."

double dillwadish

adj. Twice the dillwad-y badness in half the time.

Real citation: "4 games back with 6 to go...ostensibly they were set. It would be dillwadish to even attempt such a feat. Especially since Indiana and Washington virtually have the same record. Would it not be double dillwadish to expend so much energy and risk injury to do this? They would not gain home court since they would have to play the Pistons anyway. Please refrain from your mental masturbation."
(April 15, 2006, http://detroitsportszone.com/forum/archive/index.php?t-3128.html)

Made-up citation: "When I end up in hell, St. Peter or whoever will say I was pretty, selfish, and double dillwadish."

sex goddessless

adj. Sigh. The saddest adjective of them all.

Related terms: sex goddessness.

Real citation: "I even have something in there for Übersite, that starts out something along these lines of 'Dear Rockin' Sex Goddess and Lovely Lady Loren, fear not for I have hopefully gone on to a better place, but you must go on. You need to stay strong so that teenagers everywhere will be disciplined, caracatures of others will be drawn, Glam_daddy will be taught how to aquire quality weed and so that the world will not be Sex Goddessless...'"
(Otter, Oct. 31, 2003, http://www.ubersite.com/m/17042)

Made-up citation: "I'm sex goddessless, graying, and congested. My new humidifier should fix one of my problems."

exorcistesque

adj. Barfy. Or righteous with the fury of the powah of the dark side! I mean, the Lord.

Real citation: "I had an exorcistesque vomiting moment during the concert. I only wish it had been blood vomit.."
(July 15, 2006, http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=6256842&MyToken=3f087962-8417-40ae-954e-f1e0bc485fc2ML)

Made-up citation: "An exorcistesque pediatrician gathers many malpractice suits."

fan-diddly-fucking-tastic

adj. Fantastic squared. Or diddly-fucking cubed.

Related terms: fan-diddly-damn-tastic, fan-diddly-an-diddly-tastic,

Real citation: "Just because it is the best way to do things now doesn’t mean it is ‘good’, the fundemental document format is flawed. Yes the semantics are fan-diddly-fucking-tastic, that isn’t what I am fucking nagging about. Grrrrr. And the fact I have so little time. Fuck you all."
(Feb. 16, 2006, Print, http://print.wordpress.com/2006/02/16/spamertainment-britney-spears-photos/)

Made-up citation: "A recent poll named the Great Cornholio the most fan-diddly-fucking-tastic character in television history, narrowly beating out Mr. Spock and Dr. Huxtable."

non-doomedness

noun. All will be groovy. Really.

Real citation: "Good News: Syera comes up with a plan to lead them into relative non-doomedness."
(Syera, July 18, 2006, http://forum.gateworld.net/showthread.php?t=29001&page=42)

Made-up citation: "A feeling of non-doomedness is one of the first signs of impending doom, according to the American Psychological Association."

Lower Buttmunchistan

noun. A faraway land, where little buttmunches roam.

Related terms: East Buttfuckistan.

Real citation: "As long as the guest workers fulfill the requirements of their employers, they could speak the language and carry the culture of Lower Buttmunchistan for all we care."
(Cabinia, May 28, 2004, http://forums.jolt.co.uk/archive/index.php/t-330543.html)

Made-up citation: "This month I'm going to Atlanta (to see penguins), Buffalo (to see family), and Lower Buttmunchistan (because I hate myself).

bone throwage

noun. Sometimes, you just need someone to throw you a frickin'....well, you know.

Real citation: "We need bone throwage....."
(zan, June 22, 2005, http://forums.vanguardsoh.com/archive/index.php/t-15867.html)

Made-up citation: "Hey, weather gods! Can I get a little bone throwage here? Me and my little dog are freezing our nads off. And he doesn't even have any."

batshitologist

noun. 1) A crazy person. 2) An expert on all things psycho bugnuts.

Related terms: batshit loony, batshit whacko, batshit insane, batshit nutty, batshit nutso, batshit-deranged, super-batshit-insane, pre-batshit-insane, completely-fucking-batshit-insane, batshit-fucking-crazy, batshit-sounding, non-batshit, pre-batshit, anti-batshit, batshittery, batshititude, holy batshit, batcrap, batpoop, batfuck.

Real citation: "Hahahahaha! You are not lazy or obese. But onya bike you boring bowling batshitologist LOL."
(May 17, 2005, http://hayley.moeface.com/2005/05/17/yoga-boring-boring-bowling/)

Made-up citation: "Does collecting the above terms make me a batshitologist? How much prouder can Mom get?"

non-ball-licking

adj. Dry testicles, folks. That's all we have today.

Real citation: "When I agreed to do this review I was honest, admitting that my opinion of Strapping Young Lad was lukewarm. I was told that it would make a nice change from reviewers licking their balls all the time. I thought I could definitely deliver on the non-ball-licking review. I really did. But maybe for this record they should have asked more of an SYL fan."
(Fred Phillips, June 21, 2006, http://www.digitalmetal.com/reviews.asp?cid=7440)

Made-up citation: "I'd leave 'non-ball-licking' off the resume, son. No boss wants to see those words hyphenated."

assheadface

noun. A mix of an asshole, a shithead, and a fuckface--minus a shitfuckhole, of course.

Related terms: fuckheadface, shitheadface.

Real citation: "Hey assheadface, hope everything is alright, I'm still recovering from all the chocolate ice cream and the fancy egg aroma. Lates."
(Sept. 8, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:GbDDCYYrYHwJ:profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendid%3D86547455+assheadface&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Men are likelier than women to be assheadfaces, according to cutting-edge research at a local university."

freakitudinous

adj. Freaky! Like, chock full o' freakitude.

Real citation: "Why is the Christian Reformed Church intense and why are the Protestant Reformed Churches freakitudinous?"
(Geoff, Feb. 26, 2005, http://www.goesping.org/archives/2004/11/07/whats-christian-mean-anymore/feed/)

Made-up citation: "Body Worlds 2 was mega-freakitudinous. And I learned that skin is good. I'm making it a point to always have some."

sweet Matilda's hymen

exclamation. An idiom that may not be a fit affirmation of the Sunday homily.

Real citation: "Sweet Matilda's hymen- oh, wait... I can see how that would be a poor turn of phrase in light of..."
(DJRadiohead, "Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton Have Holes In Their Wardrobes," Sept. 14, 2006, http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/09/14/204310.php)

Made-up citation: "Sweet Matilda's hymen! Never have I consumed cupcakes as transcendent as these."

malfunctionish

adj. Malfunctiony. Or just broke.

Real citation: ":ozz: <--- Lookit! That's me!! Meeee!! Uh, wait, no it's not...mine seems to be slightly....malfunctionish."
(RabidOzztaku, Nov. 12, 2004, http://www.badbadrubberpiggy.com/vbulletin/archive/index.php/t-1495.html)

Made-up citation: "My no-name, bargain-basement computer is less malfunctionish than the brand-namier one I had before. Cheapness doth prevail!"

Warrior Princess-esque

adj. Badassette-like. And Xena-ish.

Related terms: un-Warrior-Princess-like.

Real citation: "First one, in the hide-e-hole, it sounds like he calls her 'Sheena', which doesn't make much sense to me, so maybe I misheard and it was supposed to be 'Xena', because that would kinda fit seeing as how she'd just pulled some Warrior Princess-esque moves to save them. As they're getting out of the hide-e-hole, he calls her 'Underdog'."
(Phee, "
3-7: "Not In Portland" 2007.02.07," Feb. 8, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3151209&view=findpost&p=7074930)

Made-up citation: "A Warrior Princess-esque wardrobe does not imply Warrior Princess-esque combat skills, according to Dr. Phil."

horriditude

noun. The horror, the horror! Dude.

Real citation: "mine was when she had done a lovely warmup, then as we were just coming in she spotted her mate and started shrieking and didn't stop the wentire test. starburst can vouch for the test's horriditude."
(Mehitabel, May 24, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:ivZ4-lLMLboJ:www.saddle-up.org.uk/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t138951.html+horriditude&hl=en&amp;amp;amp;ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Mommy, why did God create horriditude and pea soup?"

placentalicious

adj. There's not enough ew in the world...

Real citation: "Yep, we're making placenta pills...mmmm...placentalicious."
(BratMama, Jan. 23, 2004, http://forums.naturalparenting.com.au/showthread.php?p=8299)

Made-up citation: "When writing the menu for your new upscale vegetarian restaurant, avoid the words 'placentalicious' and 'beefgasm.'"

buttockage

noun. Ass, folks. Here be ass.

Real citation: "Paddle the buttockage good. Oh yeah."
(That Quiz Guy, "Old Rites, Almost Forgotten," June 7, 2006, http://thequizblogger.blogspot.com/2006/06/old-rites-almost-forgotten.html)

Made-up citation: "Though I often fret about the horrid state of other parts of my body, I hardly ever worry about my buttockage. It would be cool if my non-buttockage were out of sight too."

prefuckedupness

noun. Some fuckedupedness starts early.

Real citation: "I read somewhere, or heard in some whacked out seminar once, that for a relationship to work, there needs to be at least eight really good things to every bad thing. That's something I probably should have put a voice to, as it was in my head, but you know--again, part of the prefuckedupness of being a woman is expecting everyone to be fucking psychic. Why aren't you psychic, Deb?! :-p"
(Sassinator, Oct. 26, 2004, http://www.debutaunt.com/archives/000342.php)

Made-up citation: "Is original sin a form of prefuckedupness, Father Larry?"

non-fondle-y

adj. No groping, molesting, tickling, or stroking can be found here.

Real citation: "Keep fondling, people. It's a small light in the darkness of a non-fondle-y world."
(Sept. 8, 2006, http://www.cocomment.com/rss2Article/165580.rss)

Made-up citation: "I have many non-fondle-y relationships with women--which is great--but Jesus fuck, I could use a few guy friends these days."

debrainsuck

verb. To reverse the effects of brainsuckage, which can be most unenlightening, though restful.

Real citation: "The battle plays out essentially the same way, except we actually have Doc indicate why he's going to kill Dawn. Something about Glory's soul/essense or something, I don't care. That plothole pissed me off. Glory deheads the Buffybot, Willow debrainsucks Tara, Buffy smashes Glory and they play Donkey Kong, as per the original."
(Marguryte, "Making Our Own Fun: Rewriting 'Buffy,'" June 28, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=2806070&view=findpost&p=3167912)

Made-up citation: "After coffee debrainsucked me over breakfast, my corpus callosum felt frisky and fresh again."

numbskulless

noun. A numbskull with womanly charms, wiles, and wardrobe.

Real citation: "Who came up with that lousy idea? If you know, and would forward this blog entry to him/her (that numbskull/numbskulless) I'd appreciate it."
(David Hardesty, "Butterflies," Jan. 27, 2006, Musings of a Small Town Christian,
http://davidhardesty.blogspot.com/2006/01/butterflies.html)

Made-up citation: "I would date a doofusette, cosmic-donut supporter, or congressrodent, but not a numbskulless. I have standards, people!"

dillweedish

adj. Somewhat like a dillweed and presumably not unlike a dickweed.

Related terms: dillholish, dillwadish.

Real citation: "Even I, although I'm new to UU, know many here personally, and know of many more of you through the grapevine. It seems strange that people who know each other would be 'dillweedish' to each other online, but perhaps not so much in person."
(invitation, Oct. 20, 2006, http://www.unnormalunderground.ca/viewtopic.php?p=29309&highlight=&sid=5af668a9e499c3b1337c373586ac4c9d)

Made-up citation: "I often become dillweedish in situations that require patience, but I am fighting my inner George Costanza with mediation and Miller Lite.

word-rage-free

adj. Totally lacking lexically motivated apeshitness.

Real citation: "So mrs_cake's preference for "there is a large number of reasons" puts her very much in the modern minority, though more in tune with the fashions of earlier times. But again, no one should hit her -- this is a word-rage-free zone."
(Mark Liberman, "There's a bunch of reasons -- or are there?," Jan. 13, 2007, Language Log, http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/004035.html)

Made-up citation: "Though I am usually word-rage-free and don't fret about punctuation, I do get a little hot when I see quotation marks used for emphasis. Jackie Chan 'Movies' is an insult, not an advertisement! God damn it."

by Odin's balls

exclamation. A testicular, Norse exclamation.

Related expression: by Zeus' balls.

Real citation: "For those with Quicktime, these movies are just great -- and TOTALLY SAFE TO WATCH AT WORK. Well, that is, if your work doesn't mind you using their internet connection to watch a -- really well done -- nine-minute viking story. By Odin's balls, that's good stuff."
(Bruno Pieroni, July 13, 2004, http://www.brunopieroni.com/blog/2004_07_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "By Odin's balls and Thor's hammer! Let's get this tasteful erotica film started."

unyoinking

present participle. Some reverse yoinkage; a gift.

Related terms: unyoink, unyoinked, beyoinked.

Real citation: "this unyoinking brought to you by Dath Max,everybody loves a Dath Max, so why not get one today!"
(Hermie, Sept. 7, 2005, Echobase, http://www.echonetwork.net/vb/showthread.php?t=3525)

Made-up citation: "As an independent contractor, I am on the bad end of some unyoinking come tax time."

poignantitude

noun. Hearts are wrenched, souls are rent, smurfs are stabbed...you get the idea.

Real citation: "I am now wiping away a tear. A tear of poignantitude."
(SJ, Dec. 10, 2006, http://www.haloscan.com/comments/mdcreel/2975392292168858635/)

Made-up citation: "I'm a single, male professional who appreciates Battlestar Galactica, midnight strolls, the Phoenix Suns, poignantitude, and corn dogs."

borefest-a-rama

noun. Excitement central it's not.

Real citation: "As for Starbuck, and her destiny I really, really, really don't want her to be a cylon, or some kind of God, or dead. But I will take ANY of these over the Starpollo borefest-a-rama. That is all."
(IdaTeeter, "They Have A Plan?!: SPOILER DISCUSSION," Jan. 12, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3148497&view=findpost&p=7053536)

Made-up citation: "I love Sundays: even a borefest-a-rama is pleasant."

fuck-diddly-ola

noun. Um, your definition is as good as mine. Help?

Real citation: "Well, every single one of them broke the look off after less than a second. Even when I was smiling, even when I had a silly-ass grin on my face from singing along (like 70% of the people in the bar) to old songs...just a near-instant look-away. Fuck-diddly-ola. I can't tell whether I'm just that ugly, or whether I'm intimidating for some reason."
(CarterBoe, Feb. 8, 2003, http://www.forumopolis.com/dff/showthread.php?s=17d193509e78012db7fb18dea382da2e&postid=717710)

Made-up citation: "Maybe 'fuck-diddly-ola' is a unit of measurement in the neighborhood of jack-diddly-fucking-shit-squat."

testosteroniness

noun. Macho headgames, ultimate fighting, or other testosterone-propelled stuff.

Real citation: "Of course, there's the literal balls in the movie: every guy's nuts being blown off or ripped out. Then there's the testosteroniness of the movie, with every guy narrating his macho philosophy and every woman being a hooker or stripper."
(http://www.rustyspell.com/movies/robertrodriguez.html)

Made-up citation: "A blood test detects testosterone, but testosteroniness is usually manifested in wardrobe and DVD collections."

groinfruit-destroyers

noun. Crotch-killing heels.

Real citation: "Careful laddies! Yon Hobbit is after our precious Gonads! (gak)I was under the impression these groinfruit-destroyers were called "Stilletos". What's the difference? *Ignorant*"
(July 29, 2005, The Ministry of Abnormality, http://www.theministryofabnormality.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=22f0cadf1d8f614b4e2abe91f86f8f1c&action=profile;u=269;sa=showPosts)

Made-up citation: "If you dream of an army of fembots in groinfruit-destroyers, you will enjoy many great successes in business."

inhumanesque

adj. Oh the humanity! Sort of.

Real citation: "a'ight so i'm listnin' to dylan, bob highway sixty-one revisited am blown away by the inhumanesque skill he has with words it's like a dictionary thesaurus and rhyming dictionary had offspring and one of 'em possessed him"
(Vincent Paschke, Dec. 1, 2004, http://www.xanga.com/vincent_paschke)

Made-up citation: "To err is human--to pee on the couch, inhumanesque."

non-assmunch

noun. A marginally naughtier non-buttmunch.

Real citation: "That's enough to jar a fragile ego off its axis. Twats like that believe on some level that they've a divine right to deference from everyone 'under' them, so when they encounter a non-assmunch, it's like walking into a door!"
(Andy Sword, July 14, 2006, Biohazard Forums, http://www.biohazardforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=4596&view=next&sid=6be882d91c690113b5e0054e279dc079)

Made-up citation: "I've worked many hours trying to be a non-assmunch. But I can no longer escape my destiny!"

hosepot

noun. Somewhere between the hosebeast and the sexpot, this marvelous rung on the evolutionary ladder can be found.

Real citation: "Showing the naked knuckerhole is not a new trend. Cutting-edger Paris Hilton did it long before she was just Paris. Exposing one's va-jay-jay (as all the kids call it) must be the new haute couture, but only if you are a desperate, attention-seeking, sloppy hosepot."
(Dawn Olsen, "Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton Have Holes In Their Wardrobes," Sept. 14, 2006, http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/09/14/204310.php)

Made-up citation: "I'm a single male professional looking for a hellbeastish, hamster-kissing, humanitariany hosepot. Cuddling required."

dewankification

noun. The delicate procedure of eliminating wank-worthy filth or grade-A wankerness, both of which are tough to get out of a carpet.

Real citation: "And dayam, Siegfried was a little wanker back then, wasn't he. It's a tad cliche, but he's pretty cool now. (SC3 version has the same voice as Balmung from .hack, doesn't he?) So Namco has discovered...DEWANKIFICATION!"
(Andy00, Nov. 5, 2005, Videogame Recaps, http://videogamerecaps.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=828&start=30&sid=fd2daf67f112d48d0ff59abd4ea37a5b)

Made-up citation: "'Denastification' is in the OED, but 'dewankification' can't catch a break."

gyrationish

adj. Could be someone's having a spasmgasm.

Real citation: "ok...i ask that you PLEASE remove the dancing girl. she creeps me out with her gyrationish bod"
(Mystery girl, Dec. 10, 2006, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=12988756)

Made-up citation: "The gyrationish writhings of my puppy when he's playing are a reminder to buy crack-free dog food."

Jeebustastic

adj. Fantastically, Jeebusly Christlike.

Real citation: "Tommy: Well that’s it for tonight’s show. Join us next Monday for another Jeebustastic episode. G’d night folks!"
(Daggeron, Aug. 7, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:U5qkNDd7raoJ:www.powerrangerempire.com/community/7689-daily-show-tommy-oliver.html+jeebustastic&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1)

Made-up citation: "It is not Jeebustastic to take from the poor with one hand and text-message a 14-year-old boy with the other."

balls-centric

adj. Looking for a tenacious focus on testicles? Look no more.

Real citation: "Honey, I know you're pretty balls-centric right now, and that's coming out in your post here, but I feel someone should tell you: no matter what your mama's telling you, they are just NOT going to drop."
(Blade, June 15, 2005, http://polyenmity.tribe.net/thread/68c699a1-471c-4f8d-af9d-b7b665da2f07)

Made-up citation: "My neutered puppy is going through a humping renaissance. No pooch nor limb remains unhumped for long. Should I neuter him again or seek a less balls-centric explanation?"

befuckitude

noun. A quality possessed by those who well and truly be fucked.

Related terms: befucked, befuckery.

Real citation: "USC vs. OU: Profiles in befuckitude"
(Omar, Jan. 4, 2005, http://www.terribly-happy.com/2005_01_02_oldblogger.html)

Made-up citation: "I often wallow in my befuckitude, but at least I don't write poems about it."

oblivilicious

adj. Deliciously oblivious.

Real citation: "No one seemed to catch on. :O) Oblivilicious."
(Wren, July 3, 2003, http://www.unitedpokerforum.com/archive/2003-07/02/15683/)

Made-up citation: "Welcome reaper! How I have longed for thee, oh sweet oblivilicious death!"

dildonicness

noun. A dildo-y quality or essence.

Real citation: "This just torques me off! I try and be respectful of differing opinions, and I think everyone here does a good job of that. However, I lose total respect for anyone who uses propaganda as a form of debating, and ignoring history is a sign of downright dildonicness.(just made that word up.) To me, if someone states an opinion, but then is not objective enough to recognize factual data, they are a complete tool and it's open season for ridicule."
(calean007, Feb. 25, 2005, http://www.soccer24-7.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-66095.html)

Made-up citation: "Both the pontiff and his papal scepter share a certain dildonicness."

jizzicillin

noun. Semen with magical--er, medical--powers.

Real citation: "Between the stethescope on the door, relevations about Chase's stamina, and the boyfriend's Jizzicillin....I think the TWOP title for this episode ought to be "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Semen"
(Hermanshead, "2-16: "Safe" 2006.04.04," April 4, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3138460&view=findpost&p=4912439)

Made-up citation: "9 out of 10 doctors who recommend jizzicillin now are well-medicated in prison."

megatardery

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

fart knockee

noun. The yin to the fart knocker's yang.

Real citation: "technically speaking, the um... person in the rearward position is the knocker of the farts. the farts do belong to the forward partner, but they are the fart knockee."
(Anita Handle, Nov. 15, 2003, http://www.bikemojo.com/speak/archive/index.php/t-21628.html)

Made-up citation: "In every marriage, there is a fart knocker and a fart knockee, according to Dr. Phil."

assticular region

noun. The wazoo.

Related terms: butticular region, nether regions, groinal regions, crotchal regions, buttockial region, woman region, man region,

Real citation: "You can imagine how much fun trimming her poop stank butt was, mmm hmm. Orange Cat is very fluffy with a great deal of fluff centralized in the assticular region. I tried using her tail as a handle, but damn, homegirl is bendy like Gumby. Sharp-ass razor teeth too."
(Aug. 11, 2004, http://toastcrumbs.diaryland.com/SBD.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm spending too much time on my assticular region...I wish I could write a book while playing basketball."

embezzlementy

adj. Poof. Money go bye-bye. Suck on that, shareholders.

Real citation: "OK. Well (in what'll sound like the Understatement of the Year) there are of course varying degrees of intelligence among criminals. I should've amended my statement to refer more to petty criminals, because I wasn't thinking of white-collary, embezzlementy, stock fraudy types of Abramoffs Delays doofi."
(KNolan, Jan. 19, 2006, http://wc1.worldcrossing.com/WebX?14@@.1ddc69ca/970)

Made-up citation: "Embezzlementy crimes have the stain of respectability, while robbing strangers with a tire iron is purely scummy."

crotchgasm

noun. This is a tad redundant. Don't use it in your dissertation.

Real citation: "i'd rather have a crotchgasm"
(Mandy, Sept. 30, 2004, http://www.spankmag.com/f/d.cfm/cc.67154/o_r.81/p.htm)

Made-up citation: "When writing your wedding vows, 'crotchgasm' and 'Sir Spooge-a-lot' are terms to avoid."

blasphemosity

noun. Dude. Check out the blasphemy.

Real citation: "What? No motorcycle chase in "Fat Albert?" Will this be a bigger blasphemosity than "I, Robot?" Is William Hung? At what age did Victor Mature? Is KingKlash ever going to get a Green Lantern symbol tattoed on his ring finger? And what of Cassandra Sakura Dmitri Heiselburg St. Bernard's plan to market press-on jeans? The saga continues......"
(kingklash, April 20, 2004, http://www.x-entertainment.com/updates/entries/archives/00000405.html)

Made-up citation: "I enjoy idioms that are full of blasphemosity, such as 'sweet Mother Mary on a motorboat!' and 'Jesus shit howdy!' They make me happy."

fuckwadface

noun. A real specific kind of fucker.

Real citation: " I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE IN A BAND FUCKWADFACE"
(Nov. 4, 2002, http://www.roadrun.com/Blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=7381)

Made-up citation: "How did you know I was a fuckwadface? Was it my face?"

enthrallitude

noun. Look deep into the eyes of some enthralled motherfucker, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "As in a swoon, my enthrallitude was bisected by the sudden tonitruation of conflatulence."
(anonyMoses, Dec. 18, 2004, http://anonymoses.blogspot.com/2004_12_12_anonymoses_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "I watched the President's speech with something less than raging enthrallitude. '20,000 more troops' caught my ear though."

ladyparts-first

adj. A common way of greeting the world for our patron skank and others.

Real citation: "Although they provided plenty of fodder for your run of the mill radical feminists, and a perfect platform from which to decry the 'American standard of beauty' that only seems to be super-skinny when Americans aren't involved (the average size of American women ranges between a 12 and a 14), it turns out that most of them were either being given horse hormones by Hollywood stylist Rachel Zoe, or inhaling crack by the bucket. They are, apparently, still demonstrably women; having apparently traded their delicate underthings for drugs, since at some point during the year, all of them landed ladyparts-first on a paparazzi camera."
(E. M. Zanotti, "The Fact That Its 2007 Is Not A Deterrent," Jan. 1, 2007, http://conservativeprincess.mu.nu/archives/210443.php)

Made-up citation: "According to my gymnastics instructor, a ladyparts-first landing from this height is not recommended by doctors."

priaptastic

adj. Boneriffic. Because of that priapism thing.

Real citation: "These aspects were clearly something that Caesariano in his Cosmo Vitruvius of 1521 did not understand, as his drawing shows an unresolved and literal draughting of the original flat man with his unfeasibly lengthy feet, hands and arms --not to mention his priaptastic penis."
(Johnny Rodger, 2005, The Drouth, http://www.thedrouth.com/article.php?id=121)

Made-up citation: "If I had a priaptastic woody lasting more than four hours, like they mention in the commercials, I'd either slam it in the window or audition for one of those commercials."

boobitation

noun. Like agitation, if you replaced the agitation with boobs.

Real citation: "I probably will take a look just out of boredom more than anything. If I want to see boobitation I can just look down; at least I know where mine have been."
(LottaMoxie, "Picking Up Transmissions: Speculation With Spoilers," Jan. 5, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3119603&view=findpost&p=6992711)

Made-up citation: "Many admirers of boobitation find my website when they are searching for robo-dirigibles or boob-tastic-osity."

absocraply

adverb. 1. Absolutely crappy. 2. Absocrappinglutely.

Related terms: Related terms: absodiddly, absoforking, absofracking, absofreaking, absofricking, absofucking, absoshitly, absosmurfing.

Real citation: "absocraply amazing"
(sufx, Feb. 23, 2006, http://www.junglescene.com/forums/browse.php?fid=1&tid=152420&mode=flat)

Made-up citation: "I absocraply believe in jinxes, but I'm not too sure about were-beasts and archdeacons."

grandmatacular

adj. Spectacularly grandma-like.

Related terms: grandmatastic, grandmalicious.

Real citation: "NPR has been asking some tough questions this week. Most in the "yeah, but you're bombing neighborhoods, airports and stuff" vein. Even the grandmatacular Dianne Rehm has been jumping down people's shit."
(alex maiolo, July 20, 2006, Electrical Audio, http://electrical.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=255907&sid=99c19df39d3c23b5f5c7747c8f0922ab)

Made-up citation: "I'd have no dates at all without online dating, but I'm a little weary of women who post ads with spry, youthful pics then turn out to be grandmatacular in person. Are they deluded, deceitful, or just deranged?"

megabuttmunch

noun. An assmunch of great proportions.

Real citation: "How many names does megabuttmunch have to use before he figures out how to spell his own name?"
(May 23, 2006, http://www.coder.com/creations/tale//tales/cgi-bin/tale.pl.cgi?PAGE=45794&STORYDIR=Grand_Testing_Tale)

Made-up citation: "Though I'm a megabuttmunch in most fields and endeavors, I've become the Tiger Woods of Connect Four."

goth-seductressy

adj. Dark and disturbing and female and hot and too young for you to be looking at, asswad.

Real citation: "This is Danella, looking all goth-seductressy. You can't really see, but she's wearing a reeeally awesome pair o' boots."
(Spring 2004, "Tales From the Bar," http://www.angelfire.com/bc2/yuesedtoys/bar/bar.html)

Made-up citation: "Words that won't be necessary in my obituary: abs of steel, goth-seductressy, faith, Wilt Chamberlain-esque."

fetishishness

noun. Caution: may contain fetish-like substance.

Real citation: "I think basicly, as long as the fetish ball is a horns and halos production, the problems that most of the people I have talked with about won't ever be resolved. Big bands and letting frat boys in makes more money, even though it cuts down on the quality of the fetishishness (tm)."
(lionaz, May 30, 2006, http://phredgreen.livejournal.com/33120.html)

Made-up citation: "Is my enthusiasm for women's fingernails a sign of fetishishness? Um, maybe."

pre-schmoopification

adj. Before the sugar-frosted process of schmoopification has commenced.

Related terms: schmoopiness, non-schmoopy, schmooping, schmooped, schmoopage, schmoopitude, schmoopery, schmoopification, de-schmoopify.

Real citation: "For examples I've picked out some of my favorite quotes, listed below. Also there's little stuff, like, Spike without a chip is pre-schmoopification Spike. And Evil Willow is Cruella De Will."
("Happy Hunting," http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/happyhunting/information/recaps.html)

Made-up citation: "When dating, there are certain rules to be followed during the pre-schmoopification process. If you have a clue what they are, let me know."

crack-challenged

adj. Cuckoo for crack. Or just cuckoo.

Related terms: Count Crackula, crack-pipe-worthy, crackadocious, crack on one's cornflakes.

Real citation: "Known psycho Heather Mills and her gullible knight, Paul McCartney, take this year's prize for the year's biggest no-duh-divorce, fending off competition from Pam Anderson and Kid Rock by virtue of having been married for more than 35 seconds and from Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown by virtue of not being crack-challenged."
(Rebecca Traister, "So long, sugar tits!," Dec. 31, 2006, http://salon.com/mwt/feature/2006/12/31/2006_sex/)

Made-up citation: "My dog likes to writhe around like a furry, crack-challenged loonball. It is amusing."

non-suckitudinous

adj. No sir, not sucky.

Real citation: "Also, I am working on the side on some actual VISUAL art! *shock* Hopefull it will be non-suckitudinous enough to post here."
(Dec. 26, 2004, http://granolafunk.deviantart.com/journal/)

Made-up citation: "I want to wish all readers of this blog a non-suckitudinous new year."

everydoofus

noun. A doofus-y everyman, emblematic of the doofus who lurks in the hearts of all.

Real citation: "America's favorite everydoofus plays Henry, a commitment-phobic veterinarian at an aquarium in Hawaii."
(Daniel Goldberg, Feb 16, 2004, http://orig.upstatelink.com/entertainment/2004/02/16/2004021624978.htm)

Made-up citation: "There's a big difference between an everydoofus and an everymoron. I learned that in grad school."

skinhose

noun. Hose--the tallywhacker kind.

Real citation: "At the moment our story begins, this very lucky pissoir has none other than Eminem's (yes, Eminem's!) own floppy skinhose dangling wiggerishly in its chilly porcelain maw."
(Adrian Ryan, "Celebrity I Saw U," July 20, 2006, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=44513)

Made-up citation: "In elementary school, I remember a kid named Gary defining a dickhead as 'someone who walks around with his skinhose hanging out.' I also remember some nuns and dodge balls."

fistpumpery

noun. USA! USA!

Real citation: "The night ended with an all-star jam, peaking in triumphancy when Mikie Petrie of Bohemian Knuckleboogie (and formerly of Boomshanka) jumped up on stage with his trumpet to create a glorious moment of victorious fistpumpery."
(JLG, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:fGLFNclCfT4J:tealeafgreen.com/phpBB2/posting.php%3Fmode%3Dquote%26p%3D2314%26sid%3D31eda7105823c78ec032cf961fe789b9+%22fistpumpery%22&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1)

Made-up citation: "Rah-rah and fistpumpery weren't my strong suits as a summer camp counselor. I did plan interesting activities, like an exorcism."

clustercoitus

noun. A clusterfuck acceptable for use during Sunday prayers.

Related terms: clusterboink, clusterduck, clusterfiretruck, clusterfornicate, clusterfrack, clusterfreak, clusterfrell, clusterfrick, clusterfrig, clusterfug, clusterhump, clusterplook, clusterpork, clusterschmuck, clustersmurf.

Real citation: "Oh there is definitely a group that controls this clustercoitus."
(Anonymous Coward, April 11, 2006, http://www.godlikeproductions.com/bbs/message.php?messageid=219535)

Made-up citation: "For my new year's resolutions, I plan to exercise more, eat less, and avoid clustercoituses."

bouncerette

noun. A bouncer of the female-ier sex.

Real citation: "MistJenif (Savoy design wench and bouncerette)"
(MistJenif, Feb. 1, 1996, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.gothic/msg/826c228286107851?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "If you call a bouncerette a bouncerette, your balls may soon be bouncing around the inside of her glove compartment."