noun. A wispy, two-of-a-kind coke monkey that answers prayers for other wispy, two-of-a-kind coke monkeys.
Related terms: patron saint, patron disaster-twin, patron douchegirl, patron skank, primordial skank.
Real citation: "Saturday is officially the Best Day Ever In The History Of New York. Why? Obviously because that's when our patron anorexic cokehead twin, Mary-Kate Olsen, returns to our open arms and gets back to doing whatever it is she does here. Skipping classes and not eating, we think. Whatever, we're just SO HAPPY TO HAVE HER BACK."
("Mary-Kate Still Loves Us," Oct. 27, 2004, http://www.gawker.com/topic/marykate-still-loves-us-024325.php)
Made-up citation: "If you pray to America's patron anorexic cokehead twin, you'll get a bag of the good stuff and no sandwiches under your pillow."