Crapinator-in-Chief

noun. El crapidente. In this case, the Bushidente.

Real citation: "In a sadly ironic twist, the Crapinator-in-Chief wasn’t far off the mark with his joke about dictatorships being easier to govern as long as you’re the one running them. Any time you get people involved, everything goes to hell in a hand-basket…fast."
(June 29, 2008, Bring it On, http://www.teambio.org/2008/06/29/throwing-the-candidate-out-with-the-bath-water/)

Made-up citation: "I just elected myself Crapinator-in-Chief and lost ten pounds at the same time. How did I do it? By taking the Browns to the Super Bowl."

I-told-you-so-esque

adj. Often found in arrest reports and love letters that are also nyah-nyah-ish.

Real citation: "I don't even know what I should feel, must I feel an I-told-you-so-esque feeling? To be honest, I don't."
(June 24, 2008, http://veritaserumplease.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "I hate to be all I-told-you-so-esque, but there's a reason my variation of the atomic wedgie is feared up and down the eastern seaboard. Now you know, Dr. Vargas! Now you know."

three-way-o-phobe

noun. A disliker of the erotic and triadic arts.

Real citation: "Dr. Drew isn't a homophobe. He's an asshole-o-phobe—and a BDSM-o-phobe, a premarital-sex-o-phobe, a three-way-o-phobe, etc. Basically, when it comes to human sexuality, there's not a lot of daylight between Dr. Drew and Pope Benedict XVI. And I'll let you in on a little secret: Odds are good that your ass is going to leak when you're old, anyway—I'll betcha the pope's ass is leaking all over the throne of St. Peter right now—so you might as well enjoy it while you can."
(Dan Savage, Feb. 19, 2009, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=1118133)

Made-up citation: "Three-way-o-phobes have ruined this country, and they're out of touch with the founding fathers. Don't people know the original American flag was a bedsheet for a menage a awesome with George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Mae West? USA! USA!"

Aquamanliness

noun. Can you command fish? Are you spandex-clad? Jealous of Batman? This could apply to you.

Related term: Batmanliness.

Real citation: "Assuming they read my comments about Aquamen, my comments about Wonder Woman's options, and my other tactical advice, and assuming they then take my profession of Aquamanliness at face value... yes. I'd be out in such a way that I no longer provide cover for Specials."

(Oct. 13, 2004, Octopus Overlords, http://octopusoverlords.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1247507)

Made-up citation: "Dr. Vargas, today you will meet your doom! Never again will you underestimate my Aquamanliness and catfish army. I'm sleeping with your wife also."

crotchfruitian

noun. An inhabitant of the magical land of Crotchfruitistan, which outsiders know as "childhood".

Related terms: bio-crotchfruit, great-grand-crotchfruit, crotchfruitish, crotchfruity.

Real citation: "My youngest crotchfruitian, Ash, will be One Year Old in a couple of weeks; I really find it very difficult to believe that a year has passed so quickly.. After all the angst during his gestation, I'm so happy to say that I love him utterly and don't regret his participation in my life one little bit. I love him so much and thank og that he's my son. He's beautiful and happy and up on his feet and even though he enjoys slapping me and attempting to extract my eyeballs in order to use them as teething instruments I can't imagine life without him."
(April 8, 2006, Livejournal, http://hoopy.livejournal.com/12371.html)

Made-up citation: "Welcome crotchfruitians! Today we're going to strangle bunnies and crush joy--it's part of evidence-based education, and you're going to love the synergy."

poor-human-being-itude

noun. A quality found in many human beings and a few well-trained aardvarks.

Real citation: "I had a very similar relationship with my grandfather, except the cheating on my grandmother, favoritism among children, abuse, and general poor-human-being-itude was confirmed and factual. When he died, I told my mom (his daughter in law) that I didn't feel very badly about it, because I'd always found him to be creepy. So had she. Throughout his life, I was respectful and polite to him, and that's the end of anyone's real obligation to someone with whom you spend two days a year."
(Nov. 21, 2006, Ask Metefilter, http://ask.metafilter.com/51473/What-duty-do-I-have-to-my-grandfather-or-more-generally-to-my-extended-family)

Made-up citation: "Is it an example of poor-human-being-itude if I hire orphans to work in coal mines made of nuclear waste, while forbidding puppies and mirth among my minions? Pish-posh! Some of those orphans are real assholes."

non-robo-head

noun. A thoroughly organic noggin that therefore conceals no laser-powered eye-blasters.

Real citation: "While walking down the street today, I saw a man with a wireless earpiece for his phone. I didn't see that at first because I was coming from his non-robo-head side. So, he just looks like a well-dressed older man standing on the sidewalk with his arms crossed and arguing with no one. I find it difficult not to laugh
at these people. I love that technology is bridging the gap between the businessman and the crazy, homeless man who talks to himself on the street."
(July 13, 2005, Livejournal, http://nicetrousers.livejournal.com/11560.html)

Made-up citation: "When you meet the William 900, please speak to his non-robo-head, but don't get too close; we haven't worked out the face-biting glitch just yet."

cluster-naughty word

noun. A real clustersmurf, I reckon (though less blue, in all senses).

Real citation: "Speaking of Collins, what's up with Jeff Fisher basically calling Billy Volek a liar yesterday? I still haven't figured out the whole Titans cluster-naughty word when it comes to how they went from Steve McNair to Billy Volek to Volek/Vince Young to Collins/Young."
(Sept. 21, 2006, Gene Hurst, Hurst's Fantasy Blog, http://fantasyfootballhelpers.com/blogs/2006/09/short-but-sweet.html)

Made-up citation: "Kindergarteners! What is up with the cluster-naughty word around the gerbil cage? Give that rodent some space, you little mother-firetruckers."

bepancaked

adj. Like bedoofused, but more delicious. And flatter.

Real citation: "Oh, and Kute Kitty? I, and my army of bepancaked rabbits of pain and suffering, do hereby challenge your ninja bunny army to war and chaos! To the victor the spoils!"
(March 31, 2006, Sci-fi and fantasy mass debate, http://www.hostingphpbb.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10&mforum=scifidiscussion&sid=611d4e8ca685e8ed42c7a1e02ab240a0)

Made-up citation: "All my dreams are bepancaked! I wonder what that means. Click here for the answer and fifty bucks and graphic nudity and free chicken."

nad-ectomy

noun. Deballification.

Real citation: "Cooper got a 'nad-ectomy' last week. It was necessary, not only because we are responsible pet owners and there are more than enough pups running around already that need homes, but because the dog was hell bent on inappropriate sexual behavior. One day Dear Son was sitting on the floor minding his own business and I caught the dog hunched over him from the back having such intense pelvic seizures that I'm surprised he didn't throw his doggy spine out of joint. I was horrified, and I couldn't get the dog to put his stuff away quick enough. That was the last straw. The nad-ectomy was still ten days away, and I was heading for the scissors because I couldn't deal with it any longer. Fortunately I cooled down before I followed through."
(Jan. 18, 2009, Mamma's Gone Mad!, http://mommasgonemad.blogspot.com/2009/01/not-all-empty-scrotums-are-sad.html)

Made-up citation: "Today, on a very special episode of Sesame Street, Elmo is getting a nad-ectomy, because that insufferable little muppet must not be allowed to breed."

pet-monkey-ize

verb. To prepare a person, place, thing, or what-have-you for the arrival of domesticated primates--and I don't mean house apes (or "crib lizards", as they are known in some dialects).

Real citation: "To answer Sarah Jessica and Chris’ question, though — a monkey becomes a psychotic pet monkey when you belittle him/her/it. So do your best, if you’re debating picking up a black-market pet monkey to pet-monkey-ize your house and your psyche before he/she/it shows up. Be ready to treat your brand-new pet monkey just like your sister. Nay…better than your sister."
(March 18, 2005, Words For My Enjoyment, http://www.pauldavidson.net/2005/03/18/words-for-your-enjoyment-pet-monkeys/)

Made-up citation: "As the owner of a dog named Monkey, I know just how to pet-monkey-ize a bathroom or linen closet. In related news, I am available in the capacity of zoo consultant or gorilla chew-toy, for a small fee."

messiah-tastic

adj. Mmm.... Jeebus-y.

Real citation: "The worst sex I've ever had? A girl that shouted 'Hallelujah!' when she climaxed...very disturbing. Messiah-tastic!"
(June 15, 2007, http://www.b3ta.com/questions/worstsex/page4/)

Made-up citation: "Nothing makes me feel more messiah-tastic than saving lives. Or so I imagine. I get the same feeling from scratching my balls anyway."

pizzazz-a-majiggy

noun. A hard to identify quality that laypeople often confuse with pizzazz.

Real citation: "I know, I know! You think spelling bees are boring and I keep writing about them, but this post has some pizzazz-a-majiggy!!! Today was an Angus Glen Community Centre's first annual spelling bee. I kinda lost somewhere in the second or third round! I got a lot of hard words. First word, caterpillar!!!!! First words are always the easiest! Man, I can't believe thst was my first word!!! The first person had to spell afraid and I get caterpillar?????!!!! People are crazy these days! That includes me!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!"
(Oct. 25, 2008, Monica's Sparkles of Fun, http://monicastar.blogspot.com/2008/10/spelling-bees-2.html)

Made-up citation: "I misplaced the pizzazz-a-majiggy... Do you think anyone will notice if I use my green-glowing-nano-slime-ammo-pack instead?"

sub-atomic wedgie

noun. A painful maneuver that can make even the micro-butted feel like a fat-ass.

Real citation: "It's ironic really, since it's believed that Baakar and Drolos were once agents of the Synod. Their gruesome sub-atomic wedgie spree crisscrossed the galaxies with no end in sight. Of course, they are not really on trial for those abominable acts but rather for the crimes of leaving Synod Books in the chamber pots of comfort stations along the way. Suffice it to say, the water was not pristine."
(July 31, 2007, John Cox Art, http://www.johncoxart.com/2007/07/introducing_3.html)

Made-up citation: "I went into particle physics so I could learn the secrets of the sub-atomic wedgie and the dreaded nano-noogie. Now I will bring this precious knowledge back to my people, who I shall then torture mercilessly."

schmouch

interjection. A Yiddish ouch. Oy aaaaaiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!

Real citation: "Ouch schmouch....check yours...I'll bet ya' it's the same!!!"
(Oct. 19, 2008, Totoya FJ Cruiser Forum, http://www.fjcruiserforums.com/forums/1165100-post109.html)

Made-up citation: "That's just a little schmouch--no need to worry. Nurse, hand me the drill with lox..."

prosti-kitty

noun. That's a bad, bad kitty! Who taught Mister Snugglesworth to sell his body on the street?

Real citation: "Awesome kitten video. Mail kitty, trolley kitties, construction kitties, the kitty that jumps off that car when it's not supposed to, homeless kitty, prosti-kitty, dealer-kitty, fucked-up kitties, jay-walker kitty, club kitties, dj kitty... just awesome."
(May 18, 2006, The Locals Homepage, http://media.locals.ca/localsconf/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=70356&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&start=300)

Made-up citation: "When I was a kid in Buffalo, the big insult was 'Your mother works on Chippewa Street'. Now, Chippewa is gentrified and whore-free, except for a few prosti-kitties and two of my cousins."

mutineeringishly

adverb. Not a word anyone wants to see on their military record or first grade report card.

Real citation: "And I totally take back my rapisting of Kelly -- and am glad, because I like that actor. I knew he'd done something shady, but am delighted that he's not totally crap. Just slightly. Mutineeringishly."
(Feb. 6, 2009, "4-14: "Blood on the Scales" 2009.02.06," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3181936&view=findpost&p=11335958)

Made-up citation: "Sweet Veronica, if we were to get married again, I'd listen more. I'd make time for us. I'd comb my hair, even my back hair. And I would take 'mutineeringishly' out of our wedding vows, just for you."

massage-gasm

noun. Mmm... Happy ending-ish.

Real citation: "So old crazy rich Frances Conroy calls up the country club and gets Carlos fired for giving her a massage-gasm."
(Nov. 20, 2008, The Children of St. Claire, http://childrenofsaintclare.wordpress.com/2008/11/20/desperate-housewives-57-and-58-what-more-do-i-need-and-city-on-fire/)

Made-up citation: "In massage school, I learned that massage-gasms are awkward for the massager, the massagee, and my cousin who cleans the tables."

the 20-tentacle tango

noun phrase. An exclusive form of sex.

Real citation: "Ah, February, that special time of the year when love is in the air and the heart turns toward romance. Or, in the case of the Southern California population of the market squid, that special time of year when giant underwater orgies are followed by immediate death. Never mind the stress of Valentine's Day gift shopping—what about the stress of fitting in the 20-tentacle tango before your inevitable demise?"
(Feb. 13, 2009, Miriam Goldstein, Slate, http://www.slate.com/id/2211343/)

Made-up citation: "I'm looking for a nice girl who values family and friends and experimentation. I'd love to try the dirty pancake or the 20-tentacle tango--or maybe a meal of food in a restaurant. No weird girls please."

false prophety

adj. Offensive to the will of God, the ethics of journalism, and the edicts of kindergarten teachers everywhere.

Real citation: "Now, stop yelling at your computer screen, don't give me that Angel didn't do an evil deed bullshnit. He did what we seem to do every election year, chose between two evils. On one hand you have perfect happiness, utopia, with the down sides of possibly being eaten by your savior and losing free will, on the other you have chaos, people going back to hating their lives and feeling empty and unfufilled, but oh yeah they get to choose that, and they may still be eaten by a beastie but just not a false prophety one."
(May 1, 2003, PeterDavid.net, http://www.malibulist.com/mt/mt-commentsantispam.cgi?entry_id=1081)

Made-up citation: "I sometimes come across a little false prophety, but I really think that rain of toads is coming today. My apocalypse sense is tingling."

breastitudinous

adj. Boobitudinous, as they say in my culture.

Real citation: “I swear, Monday night was simply teaming with bodacious breastitudinous boobocity.”
(Bayani Domingo, Feb. 3, 2006, http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/columns/37479/Truth-B-Told-2.2.06:--To-Be-Continued....htm)

Made-up citation: "All earthly art can be divided into breastitudinous and non-breastitudinous, said the tenured art professor to a rapt audience of Martian elites."

octo-grandpa

noun. An older, maler counterpart to the octo-mom who's been inspiring so many families and maniacs.

Real citation: "Octo Mom's own mother has spoken out against her daughter and that she and her father were very against their daughter's decision to get implanted with her 6 remaining IVF embryos. Any sensible mother would be. I'm not sure if this is true but apparently Octo Grandpa has to go back to work to support his 14 grandkids since his daughter hasn't finished school to become a counselor (no that is not a joke, she wants to counsel other people!) I forget exactly what Octo Grandpa does (a mechanic maybe?) but it involves heading back to IRAQ of all places. That is the last place I'd want my dad to go!"
(Feb. 11, 2009, Amelie's European Adventures, http://amelieineurope.blogspot.com/2009/02/octo-mom.html)

Made-up citation: "I'd love to be an octo-grandpa when I get old. Or a firetruck."

cy-kid

noun. A Cylon baby. Awwww, look at the little toaster...

Real citation: "I really hope the Saul/Caprica cy-kid is not some sort of Jesus/savior baby. The One-True-God and all that. Por favor. I also wondered why the frak Cavil couldn't download himself/create a machine body if he was so desperate to rid himself of his troublesome body."
(Feb. 14, 2009, "4-15: "No Exit" 2009.02.13," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3182208&view=findpost&p=11366526)

Made-up citation: "I'm not ready to have children, but maybe I could handle a cy-kid, especially if the little robo-tyke would walk my dog and brew coffee (hopefully, not in that order)."

Phelpsianistic

adj. God-like! Or bong-water-soaked.

Real citation: "My favorite is phelpsian. I want to be phelpsianistic about my goals in life! 2009 will be a year of phelpsian strides. Write like you are phelpsian and you will succeed. (I wonder--do we have to capitalize phelpsian?)"
(Jan. 9, 2009, Cindy Scinto, Heart Felt News, http://cindyscinto.blogspot.com/)

Made-up citation: "When it comes to organ harvesting, I am downright Phelpsianistic. Eight kidneys in one night! Can Tiger Woods do that?"

dorkamatron

noun. A dork's dork. Bork bork bork! Hey, how did the Swedish chef get in here?

Real citation: "Hello Dorkamatron! Im going to come over to your computer and correct your grammer!~!"
(Aug. 21, 2007, ABC Message Board, http://www2b.abc.net.au/tmb/Client/Message.aspx?b=59&t=3&a=0&ps=20&m=31755&dm=1)

Made-up citation: "When my love started calling me a damnable dorkamatron instead of her sugar-coated sex poodle, I knew we had a language problem that can't be solved by medication and word lists alone."

OMGWTFBBQPOLARBEAR

exclamation. May accompany the WTFOMGTMDTLAARGBBQ?! face.

Real citation: "OMGWTFBBQPOLARBEAR!
That was pretty awesome. It felt very action packed, and there were some great moments. I loved the Frenchies. Hanging out with them was like being back in season 1."
(Feb. 11, 2009, "5-5: "This Place Is Death" 2009.02.11," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3182103&view=findpost&p=11355896)

Made-up citation: "My first word wasn't 'Mama' or 'Dad'. It was 'OMGWTFBBQPOLARBEAR'. I'm just kidding. My first word was actually a couple of sentences: 'Organ harvesting is my destiny. So it is written, and so it shall be. Got any candy?'"

de-pooifying

verb. It must be done, sometimes by a scooping technician.

Real citation: "It's not MY poo (I feel compelled to share) but it stinks very much, despite the soap and scrubbing I did the moment I discovered the smear on my thigh. You would think, perhaps, "Hey Dani? You work from home. Go downstairs to the laundry and get a new pair of jeans to put on, then you won't stink." And of course, nobody would argue that that makes the MOST sense....however, here I sit blogging about poo rather than de-pooifying myself."
(Dec. 3, 2008, Dani and the Naked Truth, http://daniandcrew.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-have-poo-on-my-jeans.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm tired of your whining and de-pooifying! I don't think you respect the boom-booms I make."

Fiona Apple-of-the-month club

noun phrase. A club I'm unlikely to join without a talent infusion and a surgical intervention.

Real citation: "With her singer-songwriter pretensions grounded by trip-hop beats, Taja Sevelle comes off like a charter member of the Fiona Apple-of-the-month club."
(Nov. 21, 2007, Matt Diehl, Entertainment Weekly, http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,290387,00.html)

Made-up citation: "There are worse things than joining the Fiona Apple-of-the-month club. I've been in the Celine-Dion-of-the-week club since high school, and it's a terrible burden. Also, that South Park song is very hurtful."

ann-coulterin'

verb. A sexual act that is only imaginary, thanks be to Zeus.

Real citation: "You mean straight people haven't heard of ear-holin' and nose-bangin' and socket-fuckin' and piss-slittin' and ann-coulterin'? You gotta get out more, DAWG."
(Dan Savage, Jan. 28, 2009, A.V. Club, http://www.avclub.com/articles/savage-love-january-28-2009,23114/)

Made-up citation: "Who's up for some ann-coulterin' this Valentine's Day? Put your hand down, Pop-pop! That's ishy."

non-crapsack

adj. Noble, stalwart, and not at all crapsacky.

Real citation: "I must say, also having Gaile pop in so often to give input on what we have to say about the game is a large boost as well. I think we just have a great staff here and a non-crapsack community (not saying that all others are, but you know...GW Guru is the best)."
(March 15, 2005, Guild Wars Forums, http://www.guildwarsguru.com/forum/showthread.php?t=891)

Made-up: "I'm never going to qualify as a pillar of the community. But if I can make a name for myself as a non-crapsack ninny, my heart will burst with pride."

parental eunuch

noun. A parental unit that (evidently) became parental through petri dishes, witchcraft, or old-fashioned legos.

Real citation: "She's not fat, and she's not skinny--she's right inbetween and perfect, I'll let you have that much. But in return, you give me her mind. It's in there, let me reassure you--you have to take my word for it, because that's your payment to me. You have to believe that right now she's pondering what the fuck's going on in her life, just like you do. She wants to know why guys treat her like dirt, or whether that guy's married, or how much more bullshit she can take from the job, the school, the parental eunuchs. She's just like you--but UNLIKE you she's beating herself over the head because of it."
(Sept. 21, 2005, http://users.frii.com/bmozart/noise/girlmoza.txt)

Made-up citation: "In my culture, we respect our parental eunuchs by splitting the take on our meth labs with them. I wouldn't even be in this meth lab if not for my parents, so it just seems right."

ginormously fugged out crevice cleavage syndrome

noun phrase. I'm no doctor, but that almost sounds insulting.

Real citation: "Upon further inspection it appears you are suffering from the same affliction that has plagued Star Jones and Vivica A. Fox. 'Ginormously Fugged Out Crevice Cleavage Syndrome' is no joke Janet. You will receive a score of 3. If you show some improvement and get those hard masses you pretend to be boobs fixed, I may increase your score. Please consult Dr. Ray from 'Dr. 90210.' Until then you are on probabtion!"
(June 9, 2006, DC Pussycat Doll, http://dcpcdoll.blogspot.com/2006/06/friday-boobies-ms-dior-if-youre-nasty.html)

Made-up citation: "The argument of my new book is simple: ginormously fugged out crevice cleavage syndrome is the only thing standing between us and peace on earth. Some say I am cuckoo for world peace puffs, but I haven't eaten cereal since 1954."

Elmer Fuddistic

adj. If your white whale is a wascally wabbit, this could apply to you.

"I see we're already getting expatriates from Da Bear's Forum reappearing back here on DR. Does
that mean that we'll go back to getting endless threads about: 1) How Jews cause all world
badness, 2) What caliber rifle we should have for Mad Max World, 3) The Fibonacci numbers
of the gold chart, 4) Why 'statists' should all be shot, 5) Why education is 'worthless', and other Elmer Fuddistic doo-doo? "
(Oct. 5, 2008, The Daily Reckoning, http://2cents.dailyreckoning.com/viewtopic.php?p=415193&sid=3c73c94ad78faa35d1b1e3a3e100fc6a)

Made-up citation: "Of all the handsome crimefighters in the tri-state area, I am, regretfully, the most Elmer Fuddistic. It's because I keep shooting innocents--instead of evildoers and dastardly ducks--in the face."

Dejavu-istan

noun. I think I've been here before...

Real citation: "Dejavu-istan"
(Aug. 30, 2008, Speak, Peppery, http://www.speakpeppery.com/?p=796)

Made-up citation: "For me, Mars will always be Dejavu-istan... I spent so many summers there killing warlords and blowing up moons. Also, the red planet has the best bed and breakfasts."

dungeon-doom-apocalypseness

noun. Not exactly a puppy-and-rainbow-fest, I reckon.

Real citation: "By the way why should every uber-symphonic metal I ever encountered always themed on the same old same oldness of dungeon-doom-apocalypseness?? What about other mundane concept? Going to the park; Going fishing; a visit to your gramps; bills, etc."
(Sept. 15, 2008, Mew, http://forums.mewsite.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=7005&p=304701)

Made-up citation: "You may think it's my hair and reputation that attract the ladies, but think again: It's the soulful dungeon-doom-apocalypseness that all women and some female wombats can see in my eyes."

re-diddly-damn-diculous

adj. Pre-diddly-doodly-posterous.

Real citation: "Kalok: Don't Get all EMO. You say stupid Shit when you're Emo. And you don't Want to Put words in their Mouths. Warren Does think it's Funny because you are Being Re-diddly-damn-Diculous! You and your Fucking 'I am a Monster' issues."
(Nov. 3, 2006, Livejournal, http://amenoch.livejournal.com/3762.html)

Made-up citation: "Many elements of Battlestar Galactica are re-diddly-damn-diculous, but...man. I feel like I need a cigarette after watching an episode. Did I type that out loud?"

testosto-bot

noun. A robot with balls. Or at least what biologists call "ball juice".

"In grade school in the 60s, we had only one male teacher. Except for the gym teachers. They had the weakling-terrifying names of Mr. Dick and Mr. Harold Garilla – yes, Hairy Gorilla – but you expected the phys-ed teachers to be barking testosto-bots. All the other teachers, except for fifth grade, were women."
(Sept. 27, 2007, buzz.mn, http://www.buzz.mn/?q=node/2620)

Made-up citation: "I'm taking my testosto-bot back to Target. It took my lunch money, stole my wife, and provided a role model for my sons. That's unacceptable."

Snuggie-ological

adj. In my day, we called it "straitjacket-ish".

Real citation: "Snuggie-ological Implications
So far, 4 million 'blankets with sleeves' have been sold. Perhaps this is a sign that the comfortable backward-robe has been brilliantly marketed to perfection -- to college students, hipsters and others who love its kitsch factor."
(Feb. 2, 2009, Laura Gilbert, Lemondrop, http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/02/02/snuggie-love-reaches-saturation-point/)

Made-up citation: "I know little of the Snuggie-ological arts. When I was a swaddling infant, blankets didn't have sleeves or tentacles or CIA chips implanted in the tag, and we made do anyway."

spokes-werewolf

noun. A terrifying man-wolf (or woman-wolf) with professional speaking responsibilities. Everyone has two jobs these days.

Real citation: "'What in hell are you?' the spokes-werewolf was taken aback.
'The tail is new,' Roxas noted at the same time."
(July 6, 2008, FanFiction.net, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4374473/2/Serenade_of_Sunlight)

Made-up citation: "The search committee would like to hire a spokes-werewolf, but we'll settle for a pit bull that can sit pretty. Times are tough."

scum-bucket-head

noun. A close relative of the scumbucketface.

Real citation: "So I just got off the phone with Mrs. Crowe, who... I miss... SOOO MUCH, and she called to give me a hard time about the fact she was supposed to be called by a bunch of girls Friday night but wasn't (looong story) and I completely feel like a scum-bucket-head!!! Not just for that, but also becuase I haven't spoken to her for the past 3 days!!! Am I awful, or what?! =O I KNOW! That aside, the two of them are doing well in their new appartment in Minnesota, yay, and I'm hoping Mrs. Crowe will start her own Blogger while she's there, only... she doesn't have inernet... LOL."
(July 21, 2008, The Randomness of Me, http://sammie-therandomnessofme.blogspot.com/2008/07/crowes-say-hi.html)

Made-up citation: "Inside every scum-bucket-head is a scum-rainbow-head, according to my life coach."

Empire Strikes Back-itis

noun. Considering that this movie was the highlight of my childhood, I can't imagine a more wonderful disease, except maybe catastrophic chocolate mint cookie dough ice cream trauma.

Real citation: "By the way, is anyone else feeling a case of the 'Empire Strikes Back-itis'?oh and McG ripped on TF1 lol"

(Feb. 1, 2009, FirstShowing,net, http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/01/31/it-has-arrived-transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen-super-bowl-trailer/)

Made-up citation: "As a doctor, I often diagnose Empire Strikes Back-itis in patients, only to find out through a colleague or lawsuit it was herpes. This is why national healthcare will never work."

ear-flap-based

adj. Entirely distinct from the ear-wax-based arts and sciences.

Real citation: “To echo Laplace, in fact, I would say that there are many, many persauasive arguments against Stalin worship, but that the anti-Stalin case is fully valid without Mr. Chambers’s ear-flap-based assumption.”
(Christopher Hitchens, God is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything, page 79)

Made-up citation: "My ear-flap-based nachos were not a hit during the Super Bowl. I think I need to find a new cult."

motherexpletiver

noun. Caution: May not refer to a mother-help-across-the-street-er.

Real citation: "i had a small one done to me, but it was good though. me and one of the tech's are always at war with each other. he didnt waste anytime. he comes into work at 8, and immediately comes up to me and says did frank talk to you yet(my boss, and i was off yesterday). so i said no what goin on. he tells me that they're gonna transfer me to another store, one that sees noooooooooooo kind of business what so ever. im flat rate so thats a nightmare. so im walking around the next half hour just saying stuff like expletive this and expletive that, im gonna quit. he lets me mope for about a half hour and with a smirk asks me what day is it. i say its april 1st, its april foo.......you motherexpletiver! you couldn't even say good morning first."
(April 2, 2008, TunerFriends, http://www.tunerfriends.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-12138.html)

Made-up citation: "I am a bad motherexpletiver. Not everyone knows that. Under this professorial cardigan beats the heart of a Viking crossed with a wombat hopped up on steroids and pixie sticks, with tremendous street cred."

reverse-psycho-babble-ology-ish

adj. I am too psyched out to define this one. *backs out of room slowly*

Real citation: "He gulped. 'Yeah... every word. What about you? I mean, is your sister right about reverse-psycho-bable-ology-ish stuff and whatnot?'"
(Nov. 5, 2002, FanFiction.net, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1051198/2/Maybe_thats_the_problem_then)

Made-up citation: "I like my therapists like I like my polar bears: reverse-psycho-babble-ology-ish and heavily sedated."