Sunday, February 22, 2009


verb. To prepare a person, place, thing, or what-have-you for the arrival of domesticated primates--and I don't mean house apes (or "crib lizards", as they are known in some dialects).

Real citation: "To answer Sarah Jessica and Chris’ question, though — a monkey becomes a psychotic pet monkey when you belittle him/her/it. So do your best, if you’re debating picking up a black-market pet monkey to pet-monkey-ize your house and your psyche before he/she/it shows up. Be ready to treat your brand-new pet monkey just like your sister. Nay…better than your sister."
(March 18, 2005, Words For My Enjoyment,

Made-up citation: "As the owner of a dog named Monkey, I know just how to pet-monkey-ize a bathroom or linen closet. In related news, I am available in the capacity of zoo consultant or gorilla chew-toy, for a small fee."

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