poodlehuahua

noun. An unholy crossbreed--like Billary or Bat Boy.

Related terms: wienerhuahua.

Real citation: “The nation's gigantic air force is both respected and feared, the people of Franxico are renowned for their nihilistic attitudes, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature', and the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is crippling, probably because of the country's utter lack of prisons. Franxico's national animal is the Poodlehuahua, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the New Yeldan Pound.”
(http://www.nationstates.net/-1/page=display_nation/nation=franxico)

Made-up citation: "At the dog park, I've seen plenty o' humping, but this was a new one: Yesterday, a poodlehuahua was air-humping, which is a sight in itself, though not unprecedented. However, the air-humper was simultaneously licking some mutt's asshole. An air hump with a side of rim job! God bless America and keep her strong."

denunification

noun. The systematic removal of nuns from a school, firehouse, yard, or garage.

Real citation: “THE SCHOOL BOARD WERE HANDED OVER 400 VALID SIGNATURES FROM THE PUBLIC THAT STATED THEY WERE CAST AS A NO CONFIDENCE AGAINST THE BOARD. THE BOARD WAS THEN NOTIFIED THAT A GROUP OF COMMUNITY MEMBERS WERE MEETING WITH ADMINISTRATIVE PERSONNEL FROM THE RIVERSIDE COUNTY OFFICE OF EDUCATION TO SEEK THE DENUNIFICATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT”
(Dec. 10, 2002, http://ssbm.bizland.com/pe120902.chtml)

Made-up citation: "My dog chased a nun down the hallway today. I better see some denunification fast, or I'll be moving out! I also heard that if you see a nun in daylight, she's probably rabid."

metric poo-ton

noun. Only your mathematician knows for sure if this is greater or less than a metric turdload.

Related terms: metric asston, metric butt-ton, metric crap-ton, metric fuckton, metric poop-ton, metric shit-ton, metric buttload.

Real citation: “Having played a metric poo-ton of WoW, I recommend going double-up on the "gathering" professions (skinning and herbalism is a great combo for making tons of cash).”
(Oct. 11, 2006, Mechapixel Forums, http://mechapixel.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6479)

Made-up citation: "I appreciate my small dog even more after walking his big friend Jack, whose metric poo-ton of shit came in seven steamy packages, laid out in the grass like a sprawling leprechaun village that had been nuked."

semi-nutballish

adj. Sorta cuckoo-bananas-y.

Real citation: “I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with the website (seemed semi-nutballish), but I think that there are healthy doses of truth mixed in with the alarmism, and there is probably a substantial risk that, overall, the state system (the courts + group institutions + foster homes) is also a detriment to kids' wellbeings.”
(May 11, 2007, http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=8594&page=2)

Made-up citation: "I am loving Denis Leary's semi-nutballish firefighter character on Rescue Me. He's one reason some call FX the Nutcase Channel."

henchboobs

noun. Idiots--or breasts--who don't mind getting their nipples dirty.

Real citation: “Okay, ignoring the obvious fact that Pyun made this... 'film'... out of the scum that stuck to his shoes after walking through the cutting rooms of 3 or 4 other really crappy movies - all involving... cityscapes and leather, I'd guess... Where was I... Oh yeah. And leaving aside the question of whether any of these actors has every really been good (I love them all, you understand, but I also 'like' Starbucks coffee when Kona isn't available - ie all the time except payday)... Um, I feel that what sums this hunk of celery up is that the bad guys 'hide' a huge bomb on the roof of the San Francisco city hall, and then have a bunch of henchboobs 'guard' it so's Hopper and Pressly can get out of range.”
(Dec. 28, 2005, http://www.amazon.com/Ticker-Tom-Sizemore/dp/customer-reviews/B00005QAP6)

Made-up citation: "We have contingency plans for countering the enemy's car bombs, disinformation campaigns, underwater pigmen, and double agents, but we have no answer--thus far--for their henchboobs."

peeverazzi

noun. A gaggle of peevologists: folks who are probably beating eggcorns to death with a tire iron right now.

Real citation: “Peeverazzi has a lot of appeal, for example, since it gets at how annoying those folks are and how worthless the substance of what they do. But a bunch more candidates have real promise, and this opens a big window to additional ideas.”
(July 17, 2007, Mr. Verb, http://mr-verb.blogspot.com/2007/07/peevology-and-its-semantic-field.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm a member of the peeverazzi when it comes to quotation marks used for emphasis--though I did enjoy seeing the ad for a nursing home where the 'person' comes first."

death falafel

noun. A culinary, cartoon calorie-bomb, coming soon to a plate near you.

Real citation: “(When Homer Simpson, playing hooky from church on a Sunday, makes a fat, gooey waffle, he doesn't just butter it -- he wraps it around a stick of butter, a death falafel.)”
(Stephanie Zacharek, "The Simpsons Movie," Salon, July 27, 2007, http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2007/07/27/simpsons/)

Made-up citation: "Our lunch special is a death falafel, soup, and coffee. Funeralization expenses included."

soul-hurty

adj. Painful in that special place. No, your other special place.

Real citation: “Ohmygod. pottersues has just posted the most horrific fic I've evar seen, evar. It's so terrible it's hilarious. In a really, really soul-hurty way. You've been warned."
(Oct. 15, 2006, http://a-leprechaun.livejournal.com/tag/funny)

Made-up citation: "I woke up that morning, rumpled and soul-hurty, knowing only one truth in the depths of my being: my crotch itches."

douchebagapalooza

noun. A not-so-popular summer attraction that's available year-round.

Real citation: “looks like you guys are playing douchebagapalooza.”
(July 26, 2006, http://thesurfactants.livejournal.com/2482.html?thread=2226)

Made-up citation: "Tomorrow I am taking down our names from the mailbox and officially renaming this family 'Douchebagapalooza.' If only my DNA and brain were so easy to cleanse."

asshatdar

noun. An ability--who knows, perhaps bestowed by the one true God--to detect asshats of all persuasions and denominations.

Related terms: gaydar, straightdar, bi-dar, sexual-geniusdar, hickdar, loserdar, boob-dar, penis-dar, big dick-dar, hair-dar, porn-dar, sex-dar, food-dar, sleep-dar, money-dar, ho-dar, slut-dar, babe-dar, virgin-dar, jailbaitdar, hottie-dar, weirdo-dar, jerk-dar, moron-dar, dorkdar, skankdar, freak-dar, ass-dar, asshole-dar, Pretentious Club-going New York Assholedar, someone-is-staring-at-my-ass-dar, “Jesus Freak” dar, zombie-dar, fake-boob-dar, dogdar, catdar, ratdar, camel toe-dar.

Real citation: “other then that, just use your ASSHATDAR (asshat radar that is!)”
(April 11, 2007, http://www.xceedspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1165236)

Made-up citation: "Enclosed is my resume, which details my graduate education, managerial experience, quick reflexes, keen asshatdar, and nice gams."

which-way-did-he-go-George-ing

present participle. Multidirectional activity utilizing a lower than recommended number of brain cells.

Real citation: “First, the main plot and the subplots fit together in spite of the initial straining to get them all rolling; sometimes, Hong Kong kung-fu is a main plot with the "comedic" elements shoehorned in, seemingly at random and fairly obviously to kill time between fight sets, but here, the slapsticky bits play into the plotting, and guns you see in the first-act farce pieces do go off in the third act. The very broad which-way-did-he-go-George-ing still isn't terribly funny, but it's at least functional.”
(Sars, June 6, 2007, Tomato Nation, http://tomatonation.com/?p=1498)

Made-up citation: "Grabassing, which-way-did-he-go-George-ing, and atomic-wedgifying are all discouraged in the operating room and adjoining areas."

robopube

noun. Look deep into the pants of a robot, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: “If it's supposed to be between the legs, maybe it's the robopubes to go with the apparent robolabia.”
(Feb. 3, 2007, Transformers Lost, http://tflost.forumup.com/about1095-0-tflost.html)

Made-up citation: "My great-great-great-great-grandspawn will attain a Ph.D. in robopube designology. I can just feel it."

buttanza

noun. An assticular bonanza. Or, simply the buttockial region.

Real citation: “The blood spatter stuff will be very easy as it is one shot, or a pain in the buttanza as it has blood effects.”(Jack Daniel Stanley, Sept. 13, 2006, http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/archive/index.php/t-65228-p-2.html)

Made-up citation: "The military calls the buttanza the fourth point of contact; I just call it sweet merciful ass."

unfucktarditude

noun. Brilliance. Suaveness. Genius. And a pleasant dearth of all that is fucktardy.

Real citation: “My favorite candidate was Riordan, and he dropped out early to endorse and advise Arnie. Arnie has the correct platform: pro business, pro choice, not a gun freak. He has the right advisors, he has the charisma to hopefully intimidate the dastardly Assembly into un-fucktarditude. Ideologically he is exactly what I want, and what a lot of other people wanted, and that mix was not offered by anyone else.”
(Oct. 8, 2003, http://www.tribalwar.com/forums/archive/t-245432-p-4.html)

Made-up citation: "Voters want a President with gravitas, vision, unfucktarditude, and testicles the size of manatees, according to polls."

semi-wet-dreaminess

noun. Mmm...semi-sorta-pseudo-sheet-staining.

Real citation: “Warnings: semi wet dreaminess.”
(May 23, 2007, http://community.livejournal.com/mychemicalslash/2007/05/23/)

Made-up citation: "I'm a young professional. I like to cuddle. I have a condo, some semi-wet-dreaminess, no diseases, and a wienerhuahua."

Mother Mary on a slice of toast

exclamation. A breakfasty, blasphemous ejaculation fit for use at home and in the community.

Related terms: Mother Theresa on a motorbike, sweet Mother Mary on a motorboat.

Real citation: “Mother Mary on a slice of toast! I thought those were barrettes at first glance! I’ll look, but I SERIOUSLY doubt there’s a thing on earth that’s tackier than that!”
(Jan. 9, 2007, Hooah Wife and Friends, http://hooahwife.com/?p=1815)

Made-up citation: "Mother Mary on a slice of toast! I put hotel shampoo on my head this morning, thinking it was hair gel. I am not the most radioactive rod in the power plant."

neanderthal magnet

noun. A person who, through no fault of her own--and yes, this is probably a her--is forced to repel repeated amorous advances from cavemanly critters.

Related terms: nutjob magnet, wingnut magnet, fucknut magnet, loser magnet, asshat magnet, asshole magnet, doofus magnet, dork magnet, dumbass magnet, skank magnet, ho magnet, bad kisser magnet.

Real citation: “Are they all like this, or am I just a Neanderthal magnet?”
(Dec. 16, 2002, http://www.council-of-elrond.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-1892.html)

Made-up citation: "Evolutionary biologists are unable to explain neanderthal magnets, self-flushing toilets, and butt bras."

Batbuttplug

noun. An item in the Dark Avenger's "special" utility belt.

Real citation: “Stayed in bed all day with a bottle of gut-rot, and passed out around tea-time, waking only to puke all over the covers, and strangely, Alfred, who claims he was changing me into fresh Batpyjamas. I wonder about him half the time. He seems to spend more time in the bat suit than I do these days, and I'm not exactly enamoured with the Batbuttplug he's had fitted to the utility belt.”
(June 17, 2004, Anyone got a carrot?, http://robberrabbit.blogspot.com/2004/06/diary-of-superhero-monday-up-with-lark.html)

Made-up citation: "Choosing between the Superbuttplug, the Batbuttplug, and Green Lantern's ring was a nightly dilemma for Aquaman, protector of the seas."

catastrofrak

noun. A catastrophic frak-up like few have ever beheld, much like this Iraq thing you may have heard about.

Related terms: catastrofuck.

Real citation: “It's about time they started catching up with the rest of the sane world, although I wonder how many realize now that it's a war that should never have happened or whether they've jumped ship only because things are such a catastrofrak over there. Still it's a hopeful development.”
(June 27, 2007, The Blue Voice, http://thebluevoice.blogspot.com/2007/06/nobody-likes-bushs-war-but-now-what.html)

Made-up citation: "In 3037, the U.S. will become embroiled in a military catastrofrak with the renegade Martian empire. Amazon women of the moon will be involved."

site despunkifier

noun. A man-chowder-cleansing professional, available for parties. For Bostonians, make that "man-chowda."

Real citation: “Well, duh, you don't write 'jizz mopper' on there! You write something else... like 'Sub-Equatorial Sanitation Specialist' or 'Flooring Sterilization Engineer' or 'Site Despunkifier.' Exercising a little resume creativity can go a long way.”
(Fes, April 21, 2004, MonkeyFilter, http://monkeyfilter.com/link.php/2128)

Made-up citation: "When my guidance counselor suggested freelance writer and site despunkifier as my best career options, I returned to the sage-like counsel of my magic 8-ball."