adj. It seems romance is dead after all.
Real citation: “It can be sweet & sincerly flattering or creepy and restraining-order-ish.”
(http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rls=GWYA%2CGWYA%3A2005-21%2CGWYA%3Aen&q=%22restraining+order-ish%22)
Made-up citation: "If you've ever seen chickens make love, then you know the barnyard is as creepy and restraining-order-ish as your mom's cottage. Call the police."
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
motherfuckeress
noun. A motherhumper with feminine assets, such as a fortress of moistitude and boobamaphones.
Real citation: “I hugged her and smiled and gave her my card. She will sober up and regret this, but mostly, she will go home, try to use my card as a roach for a joint and then discover it's laminated with cellosheen and she will cough her washboard guts up. Row that, you weird motherfuckeress.”
(July 22, 2004, http://www.ubersite.com/m/39215)
Made-up citation: "I am so bummed out about my dating non-exploits. Where is the right motherfuckeress for me?"
Real citation: “I hugged her and smiled and gave her my card. She will sober up and regret this, but mostly, she will go home, try to use my card as a roach for a joint and then discover it's laminated with cellosheen and she will cough her washboard guts up. Row that, you weird motherfuckeress.”
(July 22, 2004, http://www.ubersite.com/m/39215)
Made-up citation: "I am so bummed out about my dating non-exploits. Where is the right motherfuckeress for me?"
henchscum
noun. A underling, assistant, or minion who is loathsome and scummy--like fried toe cheese.
Related terms: henchboobs, henchchicken, henchdoofus, henchdork, henchgoon, henchho, henchmoron, henchnoncorporeal being.
Real citation: “Neither Kerry nor his henchscum has been asked or bothered to answer any questions like this; why should they start now. This is the kind of story that if McAuliffe says anything, it will be to brag that he was right about last minute efforts by the Republican to sink Kerry, that this was a perfect example of that desperation and, therefore, didn't deserve a response. The old timey, non-cable media will all nod and move on.”
(Oct. 25, 2004, Free Republic, http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1256168/posts)
Made-up citation: "Come hither, henchscum! Fetch me a virgin and an egg roll--and don't skimp on the duck sauce."
Related terms: henchboobs, henchchicken, henchdoofus, henchdork, henchgoon, henchho, henchmoron, henchnoncorporeal being.
Real citation: “Neither Kerry nor his henchscum has been asked or bothered to answer any questions like this; why should they start now. This is the kind of story that if McAuliffe says anything, it will be to brag that he was right about last minute efforts by the Republican to sink Kerry, that this was a perfect example of that desperation and, therefore, didn't deserve a response. The old timey, non-cable media will all nod and move on.”
(Oct. 25, 2004, Free Republic, http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1256168/posts)
Made-up citation: "Come hither, henchscum! Fetch me a virgin and an egg roll--and don't skimp on the duck sauce."
BSKFF
acronym. Best serial killer friends forever. What, didn’t you have a high school yearbook?
Real citation: “This is where my theory breaks down though...unless Rudy is trying to get Dexter to disappear with him so they can be BSKFF.”
(bookwrm89, Dec. 12, 2006, "The Old Dexter Thread," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3143111&view=findpost&p=6834931)
Made-up citation: "I'm pretty sure marrying your BSKFF will disqualify you from joining the FBI, though it does keep a relationship spicy."
Real citation: “This is where my theory breaks down though...unless Rudy is trying to get Dexter to disappear with him so they can be BSKFF.”
(bookwrm89, Dec. 12, 2006, "The Old Dexter Thread," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3143111&view=findpost&p=6834931)
Made-up citation: "I'm pretty sure marrying your BSKFF will disqualify you from joining the FBI, though it does keep a relationship spicy."
truthinessiness
noun. Truth twice removed.
Related terms: truthinessless, truthinessy, truthinessish, truthinessology.
Real citation: “Xuitlacoche /Actually who cares if Julia Hobsbawm, daughter of the great Eric Hobsbawm said, *They want us to speak 'truthiness' to power not truth* Piss off. iness. Actually it get greatiness. What funiness 'truthinessiness' lets have more!”
(June 29, Guardian Unlimited, http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/simon_tisdall/2006/06/shouting_not_talking.html)
Made-up citation: "Just thinking about truthinessiness makes me despair. Who am I? Is a bunny a rodent? What happened to Pluto? And why is Odin so cruel..."
Related terms: truthinessless, truthinessy, truthinessish, truthinessology.
Real citation: “Xuitlacoche /Actually who cares if Julia Hobsbawm, daughter of the great Eric Hobsbawm said, *They want us to speak 'truthiness' to power not truth* Piss off. iness. Actually it get greatiness. What funiness 'truthinessiness' lets have more!”
(June 29, Guardian Unlimited, http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/simon_tisdall/2006/06/shouting_not_talking.html)
Made-up citation: "Just thinking about truthinessiness makes me despair. Who am I? Is a bunny a rodent? What happened to Pluto? And why is Odin so cruel..."
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
buttbortion
noun. 1) A rare, medically preposterous procedure. 2) A person who would make you grateful to know a buttwipe.
Related term: assbortion.
Real citation: “Are you...*gasp* saying you want me to have a buttbortion? I'm having this butt baby. I thought you would be happy.”
(Oct. 5, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:_F9kVQXOVroJ:profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendid%3D20346228+buttbortion&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)
Made-up citation: "As a brother, you are a buttbortion. But as a lover, you are a Viking. My Viking."
Related term: assbortion.
Real citation: “Are you...*gasp* saying you want me to have a buttbortion? I'm having this butt baby. I thought you would be happy.”
(Oct. 5, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:_F9kVQXOVroJ:profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendid%3D20346228+buttbortion&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)
Made-up citation: "As a brother, you are a buttbortion. But as a lover, you are a Viking. My Viking."
Massengill bag
noun. A non-generic douchebag.
Real citation: “You are a real maggot. No, I take that back, you are a Massengill bag.”
(Eddie Felson, Jan. 16, 2006, News & Record, http://blog.news-record.com/opinion/letters/archives/2006/01/despite_resigna.shtml)
Made-up citation: "Until today, this word has never been used: Massengill-bag-in-chief. Hint: It's not about your cousin Billy."
Real citation: “You are a real maggot. No, I take that back, you are a Massengill bag.”
(Eddie Felson, Jan. 16, 2006, News & Record, http://blog.news-record.com/opinion/letters/archives/2006/01/despite_resigna.shtml)
Made-up citation: "Until today, this word has never been used: Massengill-bag-in-chief. Hint: It's not about your cousin Billy."
Monday, October 08, 2007
doodoo-ology
noun. The scientific--or at least gung-ho--study of all that is doo-doo-ish and poopistical. Or a terrifying new religion that my liege Odin is not going to care for, believe me. His ravens are horrible... Hold me.
Real citation: “I wonder what religion our world will come up with next…DoodooOlogy? Well I got a laugh anyway, hehe.”
(Sept. 29, 2005, Kathy, I Kick Ass for the Lord, http://www.kickass.4everlasting.com/2005/09/28/tom-cruise-and-the-other-hollywood-idiots/)
Made-up citation: "Doodoo-ology is to buttcrackology as your mom is to my mom, said my son."
Real citation: “I wonder what religion our world will come up with next…DoodooOlogy? Well I got a laugh anyway, hehe.”
(Sept. 29, 2005, Kathy, I Kick Ass for the Lord, http://www.kickass.4everlasting.com/2005/09/28/tom-cruise-and-the-other-hollywood-idiots/)
Made-up citation: "Doodoo-ology is to buttcrackology as your mom is to my mom, said my son."
non-shitbird
noun. Ornithologists and sociologists agree: this is a noble, decent specimen who is in no way shitbirdy.
Real citation: "Zuska argues that it was the male colleague's responsibility as a non-shitbird male to call this guy out on his sexism, and that it's feminist men's responsibility in general to interpolate a feminist critique when their guy friends misspeak or misbehave."
(Lily, Jan. 30, 2007, Formal Dressage Required, http://dresseuse.blogspot.com/2007_01_01_archive.html)
Made-up citation: "You'll never think of me as a gentleman, Francesca. But could you someday think of me as a non-shitbird?"
Real citation: "Zuska argues that it was the male colleague's responsibility as a non-shitbird male to call this guy out on his sexism, and that it's feminist men's responsibility in general to interpolate a feminist critique when their guy friends misspeak or misbehave."
(Lily, Jan. 30, 2007, Formal Dressage Required, http://dresseuse.blogspot.com/2007_01_01_archive.html)
Made-up citation: "You'll never think of me as a gentleman, Francesca. But could you someday think of me as a non-shitbird?"
Sunday, October 07, 2007
moronwad
noun. A loathsome cousin of the biscuitwad and the smurfwad.
Real citation: “if it werent for drugs, how much good music would be out there??? god damn you biased moronwad”
(stonerboner, April 9, 2002, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:ODvBeBT86jIJ:neovoid.org/jester/get.asp%3FM%3D11481%26P%3D11396%26T%3D11244+moronwad&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)
Made-up citation: "When a moronwad marries a douchewad, the gene pool weeps."
Real citation: “if it werent for drugs, how much good music would be out there??? god damn you biased moronwad”
(stonerboner, April 9, 2002, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:ODvBeBT86jIJ:neovoid.org/jester/get.asp%3FM%3D11481%26P%3D11396%26T%3D11244+moronwad&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)
Made-up citation: "When a moronwad marries a douchewad, the gene pool weeps."
celebudrunk
noun. A famous person who is moderately to severely wankered.
Related terms: celebubot, celebubrat, celebucaust, celebu-chef, celebudude, celebu-ex-con, celebufreak, celebu-gasmic, celebu-idiot, celebu-mediawhore, celebupod, celebu-rexic, celebuspawn, celebu-shambles, celebutard, celebutart, celebutot, celebuturd, celebutwin, celebu-wraith, golden celebutwit triumverate.
Real citation: " At any rate, it was that discussion that informed my view of what would have been to me just another idiot celebudrunk story."
(May 5, 2006, The Malcontent, http://malcontent.typepad.com/malcontent/2006/05/freddy_quimby_m.html)
Made-up citation: "I'm halfway toward my goal of being America's next celebudrunk. The only downside? The grain alcohol goggles. "
Related terms: celebubot, celebubrat, celebucaust, celebu-chef, celebudude, celebu-ex-con, celebufreak, celebu-gasmic, celebu-idiot, celebu-mediawhore, celebupod, celebu-rexic, celebuspawn, celebu-shambles, celebutard, celebutart, celebutot, celebuturd, celebutwin, celebu-wraith, golden celebutwit triumverate.
Real citation: " At any rate, it was that discussion that informed my view of what would have been to me just another idiot celebudrunk story."
(May 5, 2006, The Malcontent, http://malcontent.typepad.com/malcontent/2006/05/freddy_quimby_m.html)
Made-up citation: "I'm halfway toward my goal of being America's next celebudrunk. The only downside? The grain alcohol goggles. "
dedumbassify
verb. To smarten up, reversing the effects of de-edumacation and strengthening the thinkbone.
Related terms: un-dumbassify.
Real citation: “Johnson subtly picked up where Joe McCarthy left off, scaring us with “creeping communism” in Southeast Asia. It was obvious that the USSR and China were helping out the North. The superpowers were fighting each other, albeit indirectly. At least Vietnam was perceived that way which is the reason it took so long for the American people to dedumbassify.”
(Feb. 23, 2007, Freeze Frame, http://www.newhumanist.com/2007/02/dumbassification-of-america.html)
Made-up citation: "If I'm elected, I will dedumbassify our society and put a hot dog in every bun. Phase two will address social security and mass sterilization. Then I'll nap with my binkie."
Related terms: un-dumbassify.
Real citation: “Johnson subtly picked up where Joe McCarthy left off, scaring us with “creeping communism” in Southeast Asia. It was obvious that the USSR and China were helping out the North. The superpowers were fighting each other, albeit indirectly. At least Vietnam was perceived that way which is the reason it took so long for the American people to dedumbassify.”
(Feb. 23, 2007, Freeze Frame, http://www.newhumanist.com/2007/02/dumbassification-of-america.html)
Made-up citation: "If I'm elected, I will dedumbassify our society and put a hot dog in every bun. Phase two will address social security and mass sterilization. Then I'll nap with my binkie."
Odin-tastic
adj. Fantastically having something to do with the one true God: Mr. Odin. I'm telling you, Norse is the way to go, people.
Real citation: “Plus I just got the latest Manowar album. True metal Odin-tastic!”
(July 20, 2007, http://greynolds.livejournal.com/)
Made-up citation: "Wednesday is the most Odin-tastic day of the week, because on a Wednesday long, long ago, Odin humped 59 trolls in 12 minutes. Now that's a deity."
Real citation: “Plus I just got the latest Manowar album. True metal Odin-tastic!”
(July 20, 2007, http://greynolds.livejournal.com/)
Made-up citation: "Wednesday is the most Odin-tastic day of the week, because on a Wednesday long, long ago, Odin humped 59 trolls in 12 minutes. Now that's a deity."
Friday, October 05, 2007
bescrotumed
adj. It's a boy! Or a truck with bumper nuts.
Real citation: “But all that combined with the knowledge that these figures were riding in a bescrotumed truck, well, it's just too much.”
(June 28, 2006, dreadcrumbs, http://www.dreadcrumbs.com/2006/06/index.html)
Made-up citation: "Sigh. I am bedeviled with problems. I am also bescrotumed with parasites. Alas!"
Real citation: “But all that combined with the knowledge that these figures were riding in a bescrotumed truck, well, it's just too much.”
(June 28, 2006, dreadcrumbs, http://www.dreadcrumbs.com/2006/06/index.html)
Made-up citation: "Sigh. I am bedeviled with problems. I am also bescrotumed with parasites. Alas!"
crotchfruitish
adj. If you regularly use words like hootchie-wad and poop-stick, this may apply to you. Also if there are Spaghettio's on your bib.
Related term: great-grand-crotchfruit.
Real citation: “Ok, it's very childish (crotchfruitish?) of me. But it's too funny not to spread around. And Mondays are always long days.”
(Jan. 23, 2006, http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.listAll&friendID=4298898&startID=86540494&StartPostedDate=2006-02-10%2017:27:00&next=1&page=2&Mytoken=D81E1434-1D1E-4041-83EE9F5754FF277B97568616)
Made-up citation: "Oh yeah? Well, maybe I am crotchfruitish, but so's your mother's face. You're a real pain in the Charlie Browns."
Related term: great-grand-crotchfruit.
Real citation: “Ok, it's very childish (crotchfruitish?) of me. But it's too funny not to spread around. And Mondays are always long days.”
(Jan. 23, 2006, http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.listAll&friendID=4298898&startID=86540494&StartPostedDate=2006-02-10%2017:27:00&next=1&page=2&Mytoken=D81E1434-1D1E-4041-83EE9F5754FF277B97568616)
Made-up citation: "Oh yeah? Well, maybe I am crotchfruitish, but so's your mother's face. You're a real pain in the Charlie Browns."
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
reach-around-y
adj. That's just called polite where I come from.
Real citation: “Was it a conspiracy? I doubt it (that would require too much competence), but it's something close. A little to reach-around-y, if you know what I mean.”
(April 13, 2006, The Cocklebur Blog, http://aimnewmedia.net/charalambous/forum/viewtopic.php?forum=1&showtopic=11106&show=10&page=7)
Made-up citation: "When writing your wedding vows, we encourage creativity but don't recommend words like 'reach-around-y' and 'Satan-in-law'."
Real citation: “Was it a conspiracy? I doubt it (that would require too much competence), but it's something close. A little to reach-around-y, if you know what I mean.”
(April 13, 2006, The Cocklebur Blog, http://aimnewmedia.net/charalambous/forum/viewtopic.php?forum=1&showtopic=11106&show=10&page=7)
Made-up citation: "When writing your wedding vows, we encourage creativity but don't recommend words like 'reach-around-y' and 'Satan-in-law'."
megastitious
noun. This describes you if black cats and other evil portents give you the heebie-jeebies, the creeps, an ulcer, and the wiggins. Boooooooo!
Related term: stitious.
Real citation: “My mom's not just superstitious, she's megastitious. She's emailed my sister and I this chain mail today. My sister has multiple email accounts so mom emails it to her many mnay times...so she gets enough people in so she doesn't end up having bad luck forever, or whatever. Anyway, I thought this one was very funny and had to share.”
(Sept. 3, 2007, Post Punk Kitchen, http://www.postpunkkitchen.com/forum/viewtopic.php?pid=682545)
Made-up citation: "Despite my atheistic ways, I can be megastitious. If you gave me thirteen cupcakes made of gold and rainbows, I think I'd run the other way."
Related term: stitious.
Real citation: “My mom's not just superstitious, she's megastitious. She's emailed my sister and I this chain mail today. My sister has multiple email accounts so mom emails it to her many mnay times...so she gets enough people in so she doesn't end up having bad luck forever, or whatever. Anyway, I thought this one was very funny and had to share.”
(Sept. 3, 2007, Post Punk Kitchen, http://www.postpunkkitchen.com/forum/viewtopic.php?pid=682545)
Made-up citation: "Despite my atheistic ways, I can be megastitious. If you gave me thirteen cupcakes made of gold and rainbows, I think I'd run the other way."
scumbagliness
noun. They invented a word just for your mom! That’s got to hurt.
Real citation: “While Grade-B Scumbag Ted Haggard is featured in the film, and gives rather dubious advice to Levi, the aspiring minister, he’s quite fortunately not the focus of the film. The focus is generally on Becky Fisher, the leader of the camp, and several of the camp’s attendees. Had it focused more on the pre-exposed Haggard, it’d have been a colossal waste of time, because Haggard is the same obvious hypocrite, yesterday, today, and forever. (This clip from “The Root of All Evil” of Haggard Lecturing Richard Dawkins about "intellectual arrogance" is a potent demonstration of Haggard’s scumbagliness and inherent dishonesty (gay prostitution, infidelity, and methamphetamines aside… it’s impossible for Haggard to be “intellectually arrogant” because he’s lacking any semblance of actual intellectualism.)”
(Dec. 19, 2006, Outchurched, http://outchurched.com/2006/12/19/jesus-camp-one-punk-under-god.html)
Made-up citation: "A new study shows scumbagliness is highly correlated with douchebagliness. Research on bags of all sorts is ongoing."
Real citation: “While Grade-B Scumbag Ted Haggard is featured in the film, and gives rather dubious advice to Levi, the aspiring minister, he’s quite fortunately not the focus of the film. The focus is generally on Becky Fisher, the leader of the camp, and several of the camp’s attendees. Had it focused more on the pre-exposed Haggard, it’d have been a colossal waste of time, because Haggard is the same obvious hypocrite, yesterday, today, and forever. (This clip from “The Root of All Evil” of Haggard Lecturing Richard Dawkins about "intellectual arrogance" is a potent demonstration of Haggard’s scumbagliness and inherent dishonesty (gay prostitution, infidelity, and methamphetamines aside… it’s impossible for Haggard to be “intellectually arrogant” because he’s lacking any semblance of actual intellectualism.)”
(Dec. 19, 2006, Outchurched, http://outchurched.com/2006/12/19/jesus-camp-one-punk-under-god.html)
Made-up citation: "A new study shows scumbagliness is highly correlated with douchebagliness. Research on bags of all sorts is ongoing."
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
buttcrackology
noun. The study of deep, penetrating issues pertaining to the corpus callosum of your tush.
Real citation: “When it comes to sexual taboos however, it becomes a test of tolerance. ‘I don't like seeing a woman's butt crack’ begats ‘Eeeegads! In certain cultures the butt-crack is a symbol of unity and peace! I'm perfectly happy with ass crack!’ which inspires ‘Jesus made you hate buttcracks! Go back to your monastery! I lovez me some buttcracks and have a Phd..in buttcrackology!’ which invites ‘Buttcracks have a right to be seen. Don't like it? Go to another country!’”
(Spackling Compound, Aug. 22, 2005, http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=75365&page=22)
Made-up citation: "If someone is smart enough to go to medical school and become a proctologist, shouldn't they be smart enough to go to medical school and not become a proctologist? Or was the siren song of buttcrackology just too compelling?"
Real citation: “When it comes to sexual taboos however, it becomes a test of tolerance. ‘I don't like seeing a woman's butt crack’ begats ‘Eeeegads! In certain cultures the butt-crack is a symbol of unity and peace! I'm perfectly happy with ass crack!’ which inspires ‘Jesus made you hate buttcracks! Go back to your monastery! I lovez me some buttcracks and have a Phd..in buttcrackology!’ which invites ‘Buttcracks have a right to be seen. Don't like it? Go to another country!’”
(Spackling Compound, Aug. 22, 2005, http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=75365&page=22)
Made-up citation: "If someone is smart enough to go to medical school and become a proctologist, shouldn't they be smart enough to go to medical school and not become a proctologist? Or was the siren song of buttcrackology just too compelling?"
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