ptero-dino-whatsit

noun. A paleo-thingy-saur.

Real citation: "It IS pretty amazing how that thing got through the laser hall, past the mutant gophers and through the secret passageway.....!
Or maybe that's another ptero-dino-whatsit....!"
(April 15, 2009, The Unofficial Forums of Dr. McNinja, http://boxofbaskets.com/drmcninja/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=48&start=190)

Made-up citation: "In a former life, I think I was a brave caveman, hunting the noble ptero-dino-whatsit. Or maybe a sea sponge... I've always understood the plight of the sea sponge so well..."

man-reactiony

adj. May involve wowsers in your trousers.

Real citation: "Not that there wasn't plenty to love here. For one, pretty much every single thing Amy Acker touched was made of gold. Also, the reveal of Alpha's origins of getting all man-reactiony with Echo had some creepy symmetry with Victor and Sierra's storyline."
(May 9, 2009, "1-12: "Omega" 2009.05.08," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3185413&view=findpost&p=11732688)

Made-up citation: "Is it wrong that I feel all man-reactiony about a certain Martian lass, who shall never return my love, because of unfair and outdated astro-love-legislation?"

glam-trashtastic

adj. Part duck, part chicken, part turkey--and all fabulous. Wait... I'm thinking of the turducken. Never mind...

Real citation: "I think 'Glam-trashtastic' might just be my new favorite word."
(July 25, 2009, Zzubie, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Zzubie/statuses/2835553170)

Made-up citation: "Does my apartment qualify as glam-trashtastic? I'm looking for a word to replace squalor."

pulchritudinosity-ish-ness

noun. Looking for pulchritude? You came to the right place, bubba.

Real citation: "And if the silkies don't rate a '10′, there's always the flamboyant pulchritudinosity-ish-ness of pheasants and peacocks…."
(misterfricative, July 12, 2009, Language Log, http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=1573)

Made-up citation: "I like to drink in the pulchritudinosity-ish-ness of a perfect summer day, especially when also drinking a root-beer-and-grain-alcohol float."

geek-history-gasm

noun. Did you know Benjamin Franklin invented the word "spiffy"? Or that Benjamin Franklin never existed? If so, I just pleasured your brain. That'll be thirty dollars.

Real citation: "Oh, this fic is amazing. The Slayer thing is so smoothly integrated into the universe it feels like it's always been there. It's not a huge, glaring LOOK AT ME I'M HERE thing that rushes to arrive to the amazing!revelation (tm). And then there's all the little plots and characters weaving in the foreground, and Mal is so painfully in character, and what you've done with Inara is so very interesting. And when you mentioned that people now assumed that demons and monsters were code words for other things (haha, real demons, surely you jest), I think I just had a geek-history-gasm. XD And now the Slayer weapon!"
(July 5, 2007, FanFiction.net, http://www.fanfiction.net/r/2630093/11/1/)

Made-up citation: "I tried putting the word 'geek-history-gasm' in my course descriptions, but the dean fired me. Now I'm teaching history on the street. I also have a crystal meth problem, and I could really use that thirty dollars."

depuff-ify

verb. Sometimes there's too much puffiness in a wedding, face, or smoking lounge...and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.

Real citation: "So if you’re looking to depuff-ify and depink-ify your wedding planning efforts but could still use a little process and assistance along the way, here’s some ideas about how you might be able to put a couple of software and web apps to use for your wedding planning purposes…"
(April 18, 2007, Virsouq, http://www.virsouq.com/index.php/2007/04/18/geek-love/)

Made-up citation: "Officer! That man depuff-ified my Cheese Puffs! Oh, the cheese-manity!"

fatigue-o-splosion

noun. A veritable yawn-pocalypse.

Real citation: "I was suddenly ambushed by a fatigue-o-splosion at Barnes and Noble."
(June 20, 2009, Dustin Gragg, Twitter, http://twitter.com/FhtagnViduor/statuses/2260678754)

Made-up citation: "After one night of lousy sleep, I was a walking fatigue-o-splosion the next day. I am a weak man. Guess that's why I sold secrets to the Russians and keep sleeping with your sister. Sorry, Mom!"

quadri-butt

noun. I'm no mathematician. Consult your buttockologist.

Real citation: "Looks good in the front - This is super cute looking...however, rather than a light weight short underneath there are kind of thick panties. The problem with them is that they kind of give you quadri-butt....elastic needs to be a bit looser."
(June 11, 2008, Buzzillions, http://www.buzzillions.com/dz_1263262_skirtsports_marathongirl_ultra_reviews)

Made-up citation: "If you had to choose between pancake ass and quadri-butt, would you forego having a tush altogether?"

Dracula-ish/esque

adj. Not so Mother Theresa-ish/esque.

Real citation: "My nephew Sam Arthurs was born 2/7/2009 at 6.55am in the midst of an electrical storm, Noel joked the whole night was Dracula-ish/esque"
(July 2, 2009, Anthony Arthurs, Twitter, http://twitter.com/anthonyarthurs/statuses/2436669821)

Made-up citation: "We all have confidence. We all have doubt. But only a few of us have Dracula-ish/esque creepballs peeking in our window."

choco-terrorist

noun. Oh my. An evil-doer with a creamy center? I can't take the cognitive dissonance. Beer, please!

Real citation: "Let's hear it for the choco-terrorist, the bosomy blonde Birgit who, with a little help from her friend Max Clifford, spread an eclair across Nick Brown's face and herself across the front page of every national newspaper."
(Feb. 14, 2000, Cristina Odone, New Statesman, http://www.newstatesman.com/200002140020)

Made-up citation: "The choco-terrorist must be stopped. Bring him in dead or alive or digested."

snowball's-chance-in-hell-o-meter

noun. A precise device capable of measuring when the moon will crush California or I will get tattoos of Count Chocula and Vic Mackey on my butt (my testicles--those rowdy boys--are a different story).

Real citation: "The Snowball's-Chance-in-Hell-O-Meter
The Eight People Fighting to Be Your Next Mayor"
(July 7, 2009, Dominic Holdem, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-snowballs-chance-in-hell-o-meter/Content?oid=1806389)

Made-up citation: "I think my snowball's-chance-in-hell-o-meter is broken. If not, maybe this is the year PJ Harvey starts returning my calls..."

moral turditude

noun phrase. Because "turpitude" isn't pooey enough for this craptastic world of felgercarb.

Real citation: "Is 'moral turpitude' going to become the next "please explain"? It should, but it won't, of course. Why? Because primitive, tribal squits will never attack one of their own. They always employ a double standard best described as moral turditude."

(May 27, 2003, Die, Fluffy Wuffy, Die!, http://matthaydenwriter1.blogspot.com/2003_05_25_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "My wealth of moral turditude is probably caused by a lack of moral fibre. Or I just don't have a soul, like Mom always said."

unbebunned

adj. Lacking all bebunnitude.

Real citation: "There is nothing anti-Baltic about seeing beef tartar, which first gained popularity as a restaurant dish in Latvia and Estonia during the latter decades of the 19th century when they were still part of Russia, as a way-station in the process that began with meat tenderized and marinated under the saddle, and continued as the deutsches Beefsteak, the hamburg steak, and then bifurcated into the bebunned hamburger and the unbebunned Salisbury steak."
(April 24, 2006, http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/Soc/soc.culture.baltics/2006-04/msg00583.html)

Made-up citations: "Bun theorists are fascinated by unbebunned hot dogs and librarians. No wonder bunology is such a thriving academic discipline."

implode-or-explode-ish

adj. Brain go kaboom! Or anti-kaboom. There's definitely a boom.

Real citation: "Brain feels a little implode-or-explode-ish, but I'm so close to finishing my 3rd chapter, I can taste it!!! Time for belated lunch, first."
(July 13, 2009, Lauren Hall-Lew, Twitter, http://twitter.com/dialect/status/2620825917)

Made-up citation: "Too much coffee makes my bowels swirl in an implode-or-explode-ish cauldron of toxic ick. Then I take the Browns to the Super Bowl, and all is well."

Index Cardus Notetaking-asaurus

noun. A rare beast seldom found in the digital wilds.

Real citation: "One other thing is I'm finally dealing with a problem that has presented itself to me since I started grad school. By that time I had achieved enough financial power to have a laptop throughout grad school. Ever since I purchased the laptop I've been caught between the almost extinct Index Cardus Notetaking-asaurus and the electronic world of research and writing. I have always been a bit of a TechnoNerd so I was leaning heavily toward being fully electronic but several stumbling blocks kept me caught between two worlds:"
(March 11, 2009, Just Jen, http://piercework.typepad.com/just_jen/2009/03/let-it-flow-let-it-flow-let-it-blossomlet-ittext-pen-please.html)

Made-up citation: "Observe the Index Cardus Notetaking-asaurus in its natural habitat! Note its plumage! Look at its strange sexual predilections! (Only $50)."

paleo-lady

noun. A cavewoman?

Real citation: "Ezrael, as an aside, I would like to point out that at times Jon needs others to tell him when he's going too far. It was my belief that he did so with the paleo-lady. I pointed it out, and the behavior changed."
(July 31, 2002, Jon Sullivan Diary, http://www.jonsullivan.com/DiaryDetail.php?pg=364&mat=ddef)

Made-up citation: "I know how to treat a paleo-lady. After a dino-carriage ride and some fire-discovering, we go back to my cave to 'invent the wheel,' if you know what I mean."

AHEMdelusionsofgrandeurAHEM

interjection. What's that you were saying? I was busy surveying my kingdom.

Real citation: "Seriously? You thought someone broke into your house and stole your cat because he has a twitter account? AHEMdelusionsofgrandeurAHEM."
(July 10, 2009, Wry Redhead, Twitter, http://twitter.com/wryredhead/status/2583690335)

Made-up citation: "I have a positive attitude. Whenever the little people saying AHEMdelusionsofgrandeurAHEM, I hear only booyahs, whoo-hoos, bravos, and attaboys, along with whistles and whoops of approval/envy/worship/lust. I love those little people."

abysslessness

noun. Sigh. Where's an abyss when you really need one?

Real citation: "the importance of individual productions is tantamount to the production of an individual, where the other comes from, the self gains space, understandings, questions, fears, anxiety -- but paramount is the production, for when one starts w/ nothing & ends up witha mountain, one asks, "from whence these peaks has this view formed?" & an ever-building altitude is essential for contribution to our great endeavor, so thank you Matt, for taking the time & writing it all down, openly, honestly, w/ heart & vigor -- the influences are to be celebrated, their sweat has given us greater platform away from the abyss/ toward the abyss -- to embrace the abyss via an unrelenting abysslessness thru conduit of self-constructing materiality."
(Sept. 15, 2008, Santiago's Dead Wasp, http://santiagosdeadwasp.blogspot.com/2008/09/so-what-now.html)

Made-up citation: "I wondered why I was having such a great day... Then it hit me: the abysslessness! That jailbreak didn't hurt either."

arghh-ified

adj. Some situations are crying out for an "arghh". Others require a "spluh!" or "aaaaaaaiiiiiieeeeeeeee!"

Real citation: "... A year later they get all arghh-ified. I do think it should be called 'Left 2 Die'. lol"
(June 10, 2009, Tyler Axtell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/SOG_Adino/statuses/2102647897)

Made-up citation: "Your yodeling is solid and shows promise... Now let's try it again--but more arghh-ified and Tom Waits-y."

de-kid-ifying

verb. House apes begone! Farewell, crotchfruit!

Real citation: "De-kid-ifying myself after the holiday rush at work. First step, practice speaking like an adult. Second step, stop blowing raspberries. :)"
(July 4, 2009, Elle White, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ellewhite/statuses/2474653031)

Made-up citation: "Our company specializes in de-kid-ifying and de-demon-ifying: We're the first daycare staffed with trained exorcist practitioners. You're welcome, America!"

bexenu

noun. Like bejesus and besatan, but more scientology-y.

Real citation: "seven!? how the bexenu did that happen?"
(May 26, 2008, Paradox Interactive Forums, http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?t=354545&page=10)

Made-up citation: "When Thor was a kid, Zeus and Papa Smurf used to scare the bexenu out of him... That's before the little guy found his mystical hammer; you can only feel so secure with a mystical snorkel."

Mc-Muffin-gasmic

adj. I should've got this entry sponsored. I wonder if Target would be interested...

Real citation: "Mc-Muffin-gasmic. That looks better than my McDonalds addiction mc-muffins."
(Jan. 7, 2009, Healthy. Happy. Life., http://kblog.lunchboxbunch.com/2009/01/giggling-morning-muffin-sandwich-its.html)

Made-up citation: "True fact: Many women can only achieve a Mc-Muffin-gasmic state when eating pancakes."

catastrophic crotch failure

noun phrase. A serious condition of the groinal region not recommended by nurse practitioners or fashion consultants.

Real citation: "Emily: I'm too hot to put my clothes back on.
Chris: My black combat fatigues had catastrophic crotch failure.
Karen, after a camera flash: Ah! My retinas!"
(May 18, 2007, The Beadbonny Ash, http://artekka.livejournal.com/116619.html)

Made-up citation: "If God didn't want me to have catastrophic crotch failure, he wouldn't have sent an angel to rip my pants."

voodoo-istical

adj. Spooooooooky. Zombies may arise!

Real citation: "There is nothing more voodoo-istical than a Moody bond rating. Berkshire? Down another notch would be appropriate."
(April 8, 2009, The New York Times, http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/08/moodys-strips-berkshire-of-its-triple-a-rating/)

Made-up citation: "I'm firing my trusted spiritual adviser. Gonna spice things up with a sketchy voodoo-istical maniac. Tough economy, you know?"

Fatal Attraction-ization

noun. A bunny-boiling process, methinks.

Real citation: "'Pinguinos' Yeah. Don't try THAT at home. Not in mine anyhow. ;) Fatalattraction-ization of Arjona starts."
(June 8, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/gloryoski/statuses/2081028924)

Made-up citation: "Prepare for the Fatal Attraction-ization of Sesame Street. Elmo's got a stalker!"

soap opera villain-y

adj. Not to be confused with evil twin-y.

Real citation: "When I think of a mad scientist, I think of a guy actively involved in, you know, science stuff. Weird experiments, crazy inventions, and the like. They’re trying to accomplish something, they’ve got some kind of goal. In that respect, the villain in the 1944 train wreck The Monster Maker isn’t really a mad scientist, he’s just sort of a jerk. I mean, he’s a scientist. And he’s definitely mad. Yet all he really does is inject people with a disfiguring disease and then blackmail them for the cure. You don’t have to be a mad scientist to do that. It’s not really mad scientist-y at all. It’s actually kind of soap opera villain-y. Boo."
(Sept. 6, 2008, UncleBear, http://unclebear.com/?p=877)

Made-up citation: "I'm seeking a soap opera villain-y seductress with a swanky snorkel. Just like Mom..."

whatever-whatever-ology

noun. The science of yada yada, blah blah, and you-figure-it-out-cakes.

Real citation: "Then, there were documentaries produced by Discovery and National Geographic channels, in which various "experts" in history, theology, archeology, whatever-whatever-ology were interviewed and asked to prove Brown right or wrong. These were at least interesting to watch, but the only conclusion I made watching them was - you know your book is a superb success when they call in experts to prove you wrong. Then, there was even a lawsuit! (Come on la! People will do anything to get quick money)."
(May 23, 2006, Ahem!, http://neil-y.blogspot.com/2006/05/da-vinci-code.html)

Made-up citation: "According to leading scholars of whatever-whatever-ology, this kajigger cannot be fixed with a doowhackey. It requires a thingamabob."

besnorkled

adj. Like bepancaked, but not as breakfast-y.

Real citation: "When you plumb in the jacuzzi for the hedgehog you'll get stung.
If you're a low user then it should only be good for you, and you're in control (to a large extent, not entirely) how much you spend on water.
The besnorkled one should bound into view soon enough."
(Jan. 7, 2008, Downsizer.net, http://forum.downsizer.net/about28581-0.html&sid=a13f8214c3f07eef82b85138ac5c347b)

Made-up citation: "Behold the besnorkled buffoon! This human zoo is awesome."

electro-torture-ologist

noun. Has a somewhat different specialty than the much sought-after electro-cuddling-ologist.

Real citation: "back from my electro-torture-ologist"
(June 10, 2009, Kathryn Winters, Twitter, http://twitter.com/kathrynwint/statuses/2109237053)

Made-up citation: "I presume an electro-torture-ologist engages in deforesting of the nether-regions... Do they do butt hair too? I'm asking for a friend."

super-mega-butt-crack-destroying

adj. Not a quality I appreciate in underoos.

Real citation: "#crapsuperpowers the ability to fly for 12 hrs a time, but ONLY after you've received a super-mega-butt-crack-destroying old timey wedgie"
(June 9, 2009, Chester McNabb, Twitter, http://twitter.com/chetoftheundead/status/2100293084)

Made-up citation: "Anyone want to buy a pair of hardly used, mint condition, super-mega-butt-crack-destroying nethergarments? These deals won't last!"

sod-mothering

adj. Even sod needs a mommy... Adopt a sod today.

Real citation: "Oh my sod-mothering heavens. I have just played the Tristan Chord on Wagner's Steinway. A piano Liszt played also. And Rubinstein. *faints*"
(June 28, 2009, Stephen Fry, http://twitter.com/stephenfry/statuses/2369926238)

Made-up citation: "You are a sod-mothering, ass-hatting, leg-humping lump of leprous loogies, sources say."

monster-freaking-pocalypse

noun. Now that could spoil a picnic.

Real citation: "MONSTER-FREAKING-POCALYPSE!
Also, MWAHAHAHA! Dibs the British Robot!
Also Also, Twilight Imperium!
Also Also Also, MAKE THE GAME FORUM!
Lotta CAPS in that one. Sorry."
(Aug. 19, 2008, Groovy Gamers, http://www.groovygamers.com/forum/index.php?topic=6196.0)

Made-up citation: "I'm sorry, but I can't see you Saturday. That's the day I wash my hair, and Sunday is the monster-freaking-pocalypse/pancake breakfast. Maybe next weekend!"

atomic space wedgie

noun phrase. I knew there was a reason I'm not an astronaut.

Real citation: "Hell, it's an atomic space wedgie so bad it goes right up the universe's crack and it's coming out its mouth "
(Jan. 12, 2005, The Nightstar Zoo, http://zoo.nightstar.net/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=10950&view=previous)

Made-up citation: "If the new Star Trek wiped out the old timeline, does mean Chekov never gave the atomic space wedgie to Picard?"

erudite-itude

noun. Smarts-itude.

Real citation: "@TomBodett Chicago welcomes you and your erudite-itude."
(June 24, 2009, loosetooth, Twitter, http://twitter.com/loosetooth/statuses/2311628063)

Made-up citation: "You may doubt my erudite-itude, but only because you haven't read my dissertation on worm porn. Of the six stages of 'worm mating behavior', which is your favorite?"

half-wombat-brained

adj. Not sure how half-wombats are doing on standardized tests these days, but this is likely not a compliment.

Real citation: "I'll tell ya what the real bloomin' deal is! The real bloomin' deal is that some half wombat brained twit isn't out there burgling them turds! :P x"
(Dec. 16, 2008, MySpace, http://comment.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewComments&friendID=300775193)

Made-up citation: "I'd rather be a half-wombat-brained buttmunch than a quarter-chicken-feathered assmunch. But that's just me..."

slightly-pseudo-semi-Jennifer-Connelly-like-inspired-ish-esque

adj. If we reach deep into this pile of words with the jaws of life and a pitchfork, we may find Jennifer Connolly.

Real citation: "@NejWej I love the new picture--slightly-pseudo-semi jennifer connolly-like-inspered-ish-esque! Cute Cute Cuteeeeeeees!"
(June 13, 2009, jadeleflore, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jadeleflore/statuses/2156053859)

Made-up citation: "If mail-order-bride catalogs contained descriptions as specific as 'slightly-pseudo-semi-Jennifer-Connelly-like-inspired-ish-esque', we might not have to shut down the mail-order-bride factory. Frickin' economy!"

ham-thusiast

noun. Mmm.... bacon-ologist?

Real citation: "As to whether Iberico lives up to the hype, well... it depends on how much of a Ham Nerd you are, and how seriously you take things like 'trendiness' and 'European' and 'expensive = good.' That said, this meat is making waves from London to Paris to Rome, cities not lacking in native cured delicacies. So if you are a ham-thusiast looking to broaden your ham-rizons, this is probably worth a quarter pound investment. And if you want to wade in slowly, Despana has a fantastic selection of Serrano, house-made chorizo, and delicious blood sausage. So head on down, and make merry Iberian style. Just don't forget to close your eyes and pay respect to those noble pigs who roam the great Spanish plains..."
(Sept. 23, 2008, The Porkchop Express, http://www.porkchop-express.com/2008/02/bring-me-ham-of-alfredo-garcia.html)

Made-up citation: "Every time a wild pig eats a ham-thusiast, an angel gets to eat a cherub wrapped in bacon. That's win-win."

bungmanity

noun. Bungholes are human too. Not like buttmunches, who have no soul.

Real citation: "@JayMewes A finger I can understand but a movie in your bunghole, Jay? Please please no no. Oh the bungmanity!"
(June 21, 2009, Dan Collins, Twitter, http://twitter.com/mrtoons/status/2265950643)

Made-up citation: "There is no statute of limitations for crimes against bungmanity, because that would put a damper on all the fun."

suck on this pancake

verb phrase. My new catchphrase.

Real citation: "Does the pursuit of Happiness make us happy? Suck on this pancake! http://tinyurl.com/l2p8v3"
(June 22, 2009, Rainn Wilson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/rainnwilson/status/2281643568)

Made-up citation: "From the dawn of time till this very moment, people have been trying to express the thought 'suck on this pancake' in song and dance, not to mention rock operas. Now, our journey is completed. The space boat leaves in five minutes--no dawdling."

no-pantsless-bacon-preparation

adj. Referring to a set of rules and customs that have been followed since the days of yore, or possibly pre-yore.

Real citation: "@zuhl So true. Unless you do like I do and bake it on a cookie sheet. Oh yeah, there's a way around the no-pantsless-bacon-preparation rule!"
(June 21, 2009, Wry Redhead, Twitter, http://twitter.com/wryredhead/status/2268710187)

Made-up citation: "Perhaps if the Biblical guidelines regarding no-pantsless-bacon-preparation procedures were followed more rigorously, the a-pork-alypse could have been averted. Alas!"

Robert Downey Jr.-gasm

noun. A very specific event that was definitely not caused by Matthew McConaughey.

Real citation: "I can't even think. Pretty sure I just had a Robert Downey Jr.-gasm."
(June 13, 2009, Elizabeth Hoag, Twitter, http://twitter.com/riza_a/statuses/2157351573)

Made-up citation: "Many Robert Downey Jr.-gasms were caused by Tropic Thunder, but I dunno about that one where he's a reporter helping a homeless musician. That movie looks so bad, I thought it was another satirical trailer on my Tropic Thunder DVD. I'd rather boil my head and tempura my genitals than watch that."

mysterious-osity

noun. Sounds kinda mystery-y-ish-y.

Real citation: "is on holiday! Yes!! Now I can have some time to think and let my thoughts run. Lord thank you for your mysterious-osity!"
(June 13, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/IamWeazel/statuses/2152714926)

Made-up citation: "The grandeur of the cosmos is a great and unfathomable mysterious-osity. Also, I think I have a concussion."

poop-hoser

noun. A hose-wielding eradicator of fecal matter... Or some kind of Canadian, I suppose.

Real citation: "I just took my son and his poop-filled pants to the back yard and hosed him off. I used to play in rock bands, now I'm a poop-hoser. Weeee."
(June 19, 2009, tawnifreeland, Twitter, http://twitter.com/tawnifreeland/status/2240113569)

Made-up citation: "About once a year, my dog forces me to play the role of poop-hoser, when he just can't resist rolling in an ungodly pile of crap that came from a horse, vagrant, or sasquatch-type nethermonster."

humility-meister

noun. Despite my considerable talent, charm, wealth, and strength, the other kids never called me this. Weird.

Real citation: "Matt I am with you and James Geary. I’ve read these pieces in “left wing” news publications and it certainly isn’t a pleasant olfactory sensation I am left with. And yes, I have also heard the humility-meister’s diatribe on how the poor are handing the rich 5K annually per Bush’s cuts. I am still not convinced he really cares though."
(June 9, 2009, Yglesias, http://yglesias.thinkprogress.org/archives/2009/06/larry-summers-on-the-left.php)

Made-up citation: "Wookies don't like to mate with self-conscious humility-meisters. They need a code-orange arrogant hairball to rev their engines. Vulcans, on the other hand, will hump anything that moves, even if it's not moving much, believe me."

Tehran-iness

noun. Look deep into the eyes of a certain Iranian city, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "@Sky2042 Hehe, haven't tweeted in forever... but will comply with Tehran-iness. :D"
(June 15, 2009, Rose. F, Twitter, http://twitter.com/roseisrad/statuses/2186245438)

Made-up citation: "Why is there so much Tehran-iness on the web these days? Are they hosting the Olympics or something?"

kidney-selling-tastic

adj. If you can't afford our kidneys, we also have some great spleens.

Real citation: "Gaah Leeds festival announce faith no more after already selling out, fuelling eBay kidney-selling-tastic prices. What barstewards"
(June 17, 2009, Dave Rawlins, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Piratejuice/statuses/2212882399)

Made-up citation: "I could buy a condo in my neighborhood, but only for kidney-selling-tastic prices. That's why I started organ-harvesting, grave-robbing, and orphan-bottling my way up the corporate ladder. Here's how you can too!"

hamburger-splosion

noun. Warning: may occur in the belly, heart, or toilet area.

Real citation: "@jrosebud Hamburger-splosion"
(June 16, 2009, Nathaniel Miller, Twitter, http://twitter.com/journalistnate/statuses/2194963719)

Made-up citation: "I ready for whatever hamburger-splosions the night brings. Your place or mine, Mayor McCheese?"

co-exorcist

noun. At best, a comrade-in-arms. At worst, someone to hold the holy-water hose.

Real citation: "At wit's end, not to mention utterly frazzled, Casey seeks help from Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman doing a bad imitation of a rabbi), a Kabbala guru who happens to know a thing or two about exorcism. After enlisting the co-exorcist aid of a basketball coach cleric (Idris Elba), the determined duo tie Casey to a gurney in an abandoned building, and get down to business. After much prolonged mayhem and spirit fleeing, it turns out that just a good swat with a crowbar will do the trick nicely."
(Jan. 9, 2009, Two Gays and a Movie, http://twogaysandamovie.blogspot.com/2009/01/jumby-wants-to-be-born-now.html)

Made-up citation: "If you think dating is hard, trying finding a reliable co-exorcist. Nothing strains a relationship quite like driving vicious demons out of innocent host bodies--and there's no summer vacation either."

constructo-pocalypse

noun. The twin of the somewhat redundant destructo-pocalypse.

Real citation: "White Cowbell Oklahoma are relieved the constructo-pocalypse has been completed on their castle's street. Diggin' holes, fillin' em up..."
(June 3, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/whitecowbell/statuses/2016728738)

Made-up citation: "As a wealthy industrialist, I am responsible for many a constructo-pocalypse in the tri-state area. Those pyramid-shaped malls and mega-towers of robo-doom aren't going to erect themselves, you know!"

your-mum-in-a-jar-ologist

noun. Um... I'm scared to type anything here. *whispers* Call the police.

Real citation: "is studying to be a your-mum-in-a-jar-ologist...."
(June 9, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/womby/status/2086410760)

Made-up citation: "Even the kindest and gentlest your-mum-in-a-jar-ologist is not going to be popular on Mother's Day (or the rest of the year)."

butthole-iest

noun. A word I pray is not used in my obituary.

Real citation: "Grrr! There are 4 bands I won't be seeing this year, thanks to living in Columbus. (Musicians tend to avoid Ohio's butthole-iest city.)"
(June 11, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/justinthemighty/statuses/2114347726)

Made-up citation: "Few people know this, but Aquaman is by far the butthole-iest superhero in the world. Is the culprit water on the brain--or too many mind-numbing telepathic conversations with fish? Actually, Lex Luther hit him in the head with an ax, and poor fish-boy hasn't been the same since."

post-cheesesteak-gasm

adj. An important phase that cannot be rushed, underestimated, or treated by most doctors.

Real citation: "In mere minutes, our cheese steaks were ready. This place is as efficient as it is quick. There is seating upstairs and a separate exit door to funnel out the post-cheesesteak-gasm fatties."
(Nov. 8, 2008, Yelp, http://www.yelp.com/biz/jims-steaks-philadelphia-3)

Made-up citation: "I'm looking forward to the post-cheesesteak-gasm era of American politics. Wait, I already missed it? Goddamn it."

atomic-wedgie-proof

adj. A fine quality in unmentionables and space suits.

Real citation: "I found atomic-wedgie-proof running shorts. I now consider today a victory."
(June 8, 2009, Marne Zollinger, Twitter, http://twitter.com/marnedz/status/2079889444)

Made-up citation: "All my undies are atomic-wedgie-proof, in accordance with the Geneva conventions."

demise-ish-ness

noun. Warning: May contain death-like substance.

Real citation: "So you may have noticed that we've been kind of 'off line' in the recent, and not so recent, past. Add to that the demise-ish-ness of the Onthepodcast host site over at Podango and things got a bit more complicated. Fear not though...I'm cooking something up that will a little more loose and hopefully a lot more fun. I'll have more info up soon."
(Jan. 14, 2009, OnThePod.net, http://onthepod.blogspot.com/2009/01/future.html)

Made-up citation: "Rumors of my demise-ish-ness have been exaggerated, except for the part about the boulder."

singing-frog-itis

noun. Also known as chronic Kermit syndrome.

Real citation: "Would my friend survive Andrew, his singing-frog-itis and his high energy for the day?"
(April 29, 2009, Bloggers Annex, http://www.bloggersannex.com/2009/04/29/the-exodus/)

Made-up citation: "Singing-frog-itis is one of the saddest tragedies that can befall a frog, aside from being squashed by a boulder, which at least preserves some dignity."

non-horndoggy-interactivity

adj. Describes the kind of sophisticated, professional relationship that involves approximately zero horndogs and absolutely no horncats.

Real citation: "ETA: I thought it was her, then went no. Then looked again. Then went maybe. Then went no. Then compared caps and went no. Then saw everyone in fandom flailing about it and went maybe. Then watched the hotel scene again and went HOLY CRAP because the whole answering the door in her underwear is a smokescreen to distract Dean and Bobby from noticing her face, just like the name correction is a smokescreen to hide Sam's ... whatsit. No, not that. Um. non-horndoggy-interactivity with her. I don't buy Sam/Ruby for a second there, not even if it came with free chips and a toy. :-P"
(Sept. 21, 2008, Livejournal, http://kroki-refur.livejournal.com/231600.html?page=5)

Made-up citation: "I demand non-horndoggy-interactivity in the workplace, which is why I also demand all my employees work at home, where we can exchange services, memos, fluids, and lawsuits in the proper environment."

un-professional-istic

adj. What is this, amateur hour?

Real citation: "This went on for 3 years...there were times I were not able to answer her calls, or reply her messages immediately, as I was either in class, or working...and doing so, would reflect my un-professional-istic ways...so while waiting for my call/reply, the demon would brew thoughts of insecurity within her...and I would then re-organize my words, and explain my situation nicely...so that she would know that I still do care for her..."
(March 14, 2009, Random Logics of a Perfect Mis-fit...Cum Insomniac, http://mislaidthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/03/heartless-ness.html)

Made-up citation: "The most important part of being a polar-bear trainer is never to be un-professional-istic. If you are, the bears will eat you, but if you demonstrate only a modicum of professionalism, they will merely maul you. That makes all the difference in the world."

re-kill-ify

verb. A crucial process, especially when dealing with zombies, vampires, and evil cat-people of the moon.

Real citation: "I propose a new title for this posting: 'We shall re-kill-ify those who oppose our way.'"
(Nov. 13, 2007, Blogs 4 Brownback, http://blogs4brownback.wordpress.com/2007/07/16/398/)

Made-up citation: "I think I may, perchance, need to re-kill-ify my arch-nemesis. I'm such a stickler. It's just the way I was raised."

Hitchcock-orama-ness

noun. May involve birds, vertigo, or you-get-the-idea.

Real citation: "I reccomend a big fat night of hitchcock-orama-ness"
(June 7, 2005, Hijack, http://www.bristolculture.com/board/profile/?u=647;sa=showPosts;start=200)

Made-up citation: "My life is one big bucket of Hitchcock-orama-ness. OK, maybe that's laying it on a little thick. It does sound cooler than a family-size bag of potato-chip-orama-ness."

cutesy-pooitude

noun. Preferable to dog-pooitude, even when the dog is a cutesy-poo cockapoo.

Real citation: "But comic strips do tend towards sentimental mawkishness over time. I hope Lio isn’t getting dumped on for its sticky-sweet cutesy-pooitude by the ‘Mudges of 2034."
(March 15, 2009, The Comics Curmudgeon, http://joshreads.com/?p=2298)

Made-up citation: "As a rule, I detest and vehemently pooh-pooh all forms of cutesy-pooitude, except where dogs are concerned, because I have seen some dogs so cute that I almost suffered a stroke, or an aneurysm, or whatever qualifies as a cute-pocalypse these days."

Trek-tosterone

noun. An energy source that comes directly from the ol' dilithium crystals, if you know what I mean.

Real citation: "Trek-tosterone
This new Star Fleet is getting hunkier by the day! I'm not a Star Trek fan really; I've seen a good share of episodes of the original series and of Next Generation, and several of the films, but it's never been a series dear to my heart. The early word on this JJ Abrams-run reboot didn't capture my attention all that much. But then they cast Eric Bana as the bad guy, and now Karl Urban has been cast as Bones, aka Dr. McCoy, and I am surely peaked... interest-wise."
(Oct. 17, 2007, My New Plaid Pants, http://mynewplaidpants.blogspot.com/2007/10/trek-tosterone.html)

Made-up citation: "A dangerous level of Trek-tosterone can only be treated with the Vulcan death wedgie, according to my Klingon translator."

non-bigfoot sighting-esque

adj. Less hairy then the Yeti (or my cousin Freddie).

Real citation: "oh wow, a non-bigfoot sighting-esque shot of dear william."
(Feb. 2, 2009, Livejournal, http://jabberworks.livejournal.com/168502.html)

Made-up citation: "My appearance is considerably more non-bigfoot sighting-esque than 10 years ago, when I was a Grateful Dead fan moonlighting as a werewolf with grooming issues. And I'll tell you, those full-body Brazilians are worth every penny."

post-traumatic mustache disorder

noun phrase. A facial syndrome that shall never afflict my pornstache, baby! Whoo!

Real citation: "Shaving is a very emotional process, good thing I am ALSO a PTMD (post-traumatic mustache disorder) counselor"
(May 20, 2009, Mustache Brigade, http://moustachiohh.blogspot.com/2009/05/picture-of-david-oliver.html)

Made-up citation: "Sufferers of post-traumatic mustache disorder find their symptoms are often relieved by the realization that they no longer resemble a child molester."

pre-Cylonpocalypse

adj. Such innocent times, when puppies frolicked and no killer robots ran amuck. Alas!

Real citation: "I was surprised to see that the strip club the Tighs were at pre-Cylonpocalypse was full of women gyrating around stripper poles, and no men. Are we supposed to think that suddenly once on Galactica, gender dynamics changed? Or was it just a throwaway stereotypical signifier of a 'dissolute' society?"
(March 24, 2009, Hoyden About Town, http://viv.id.au/blog/20090324.4284/tv-tuesday-battlestar-galactica-spoiler-thread/)

Made-up citation: "My sex life was better pre-Cylonpocalypse. Something about the obliteration of 99% of humanity really harshed my mellow, and there's not enough Barry White in the galaxy to make it better."

Nintendo-ish-esque-kinda-sorta

adj. Caution: May contain Nintendo-like substance.

Real citation: "New update today! I'm so pumped for this, guys. I can't believe I'm playing my own Nintendo-ish-esque-kinda-sorta game. The flashing part after you get hit was the hardest part so far, but I knew I wanted it bad enough to keep trying! Woohoo! :D"
(May 1, 2009, Flickr, http://www.flickr.com/photos/spacesick/3492752084/)

Made-up citation: "My dream is to make organ harvesting cool for the next generation. I may still be using a syringe and can opener, but my innovations in the organ-harvesting process will soon make this noble profession Nintendo-ish-esque-kinda-sorta. And someday, I'll be able to swipe your spleen via Twitter."

quad-whatever the hell it is-angle of doom

noun phrase. Love, TV-writer-monkey-style.

Real citation: "I don't see him going back to Kate when this is over but the writers (for reasons only known to them) seem to love the quad-whatever the hell it is-angle of doom."
(May 18, 2009, "5-17: "The Incident Part II" 2009.05.13," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3185597&view=findpost&p=11774961)

Made-up citation: "Recent studies show the quad-whatever the hell it is-angle of doom type of romantic convergence is roughly a bazillion times more prevalent on TV than in real life, at least my real life. Jeez, I'm lucky to be in a twosome of blah; some nights I can't even get myself interested in a onesome of magic."

batshit burger

noun. A valid alternative to eating your crazy flakes.

Real citation: "i guess it just proves he has nothing to go after people with. its one thing to go on the defensive but he goes on the attack..and when you do that you need some kind of dirt or leverage to attack with, but he dosent, he just reaches for anything he can. i think its his secret crazy sauce for his batshit burger."
(July 8, 2008, Comic Books Resources Forums, http://forums.comicbookresources.com/archive/index.php/t-156451-p-164.html)

Made-up citation: "Maybe I've been eating too many batshit burgers, but I'm seeing people in goddamn The North Face jackets everywhere. It's annoying, but also inspiring. Wait till this time next year, when everyone will be wearing my clothing line: The South Ass."

un-mega-holy

adj. Unholy got kicked up a notch.

Real citation: "giganto-devil un-mega-holy aliance tour:
Megadave
Slayer
Lamb of God
Behemoth
Black Dahlia Murder
I would die a happy man."
(April 16, 2009, Metal Underground, http://www.metalunderground.com/news/details.cfm?newsid=44006)

Made-up citation: "My social club--The Secret Cult of The Goat's Blood and Satanic Unmentionables--has gotten such a bad rap. People think we are evil and un-mega-holy. Nothing of the sort is true! Prejudice is such an ugly thing. Don't you know we have a black President now?"

pre-yore

adj. An era that makes yore seem downright newfangled.

Real citation: "So I was walking around the neighborhood yesterday and people just couldn't keep their lips off me! Not since the days of yore, nay, pre-yore!, have I had such an incredible experience. It was as if my cheeks were comprised entirely of malnourished 3rd world children and other peoples' lips were hungry fruit flies. Luckily I had my personal photographer, Muhammed "Power Word: Stun" Smith, with me to document the truly monumentous event."
(July 6, 2005, Throwing is the New Rolling, http://4manrevolution.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "I used to have abs of steel and legs that went all the way down to the floor, but that was pre-yore. Yore was not kind. Damn you, yore!"

fake-banana-stealing

adj. A word that has never described me. All my banana larceny involves the real thing. That's just how I was raised.

Real citation: "Wanted in Wisconsin: Fake-Banana-Stealing Bandit in Gorilla Suit"
(May 22, 2009, Fox News.com, http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,521304,00.html)

Made-up citation: "The fake-banana-stealing eagle isn't as terrifying as the monkey-eating eagle, unless you happen to be a fake banana. Fun fact: one in six people are actually fake bananas, despite their cunning and convincing human-esque-ish-like appearance."

tot-tosterone

noun. A powerful force, coursing through the veins of toddlers, puppies, Wheaties, and Satan.

Real citation: "Evan also talks very LOUD. Since I used to do this as a child, you would think I understood. Well, my yelling was due to hearing loss. His is due to enhanced tot-tosterone. This kid is loud, plays rough and is an all around boy. Nothing like me and my brothers. I think we are in for a change on this one."
(Oct. 6, 2007, A Yankee and a Southerner, http://kateandemilio.com/?p=16)

Made-up citation: "New parents often struggle to deal with their children's tot-tosterone. If you can't keep up with your young child, I can sell that child on Craigslist, for a small fee. I also offer piano lessons."

behoboed

adj. Like beJuicyFruited, but less juicy, less fruity, and almost 65% more hobo-y.

Real citation: "Stepping out, Charlie takes in a long breath of the good city air, holds it for a second with a sour look, and sputters. 'Bloody 'ell,' he starts, then notices the behoboed man before him. He quirks an eyebrow and tips up his hat at the obviously younger person. 'Woss all this then?' He gives him a firm look. 'You look a bit down on yer luck, 'guv. Wossamatta? Econ'my in the Thames? Wife left ya? She was a sneaky sort, weren't she? Always givin' the milk man funny looks. And ya know what kinda looks I'm referrin' ta.'"
(Jan. 25, 2003, Warehouse 23, http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2733862&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=20)

Made-up citation: "Would you rather be a behoboed mole man or a be-mole-man'd hobo? Answer carefully. Your answer shall determine your destiny forevermore. And beyond!"

puppy-y

adj. Capable of spawning a cutepocalypse and -y suffix mayhem.

Real citation: "also, my OTHER friend keeps bringing her stupid dog over here....I think she is trying to make me like it so I will keep it! but I am gonna be tough!! even if it IS too cute and all puppy-y (puppyish?) anyway...I don't NEED another dog!!"
(Feb. 26, 2008, Messages From the Heartland, http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=4739.2560)

Made-up citation: "Even an old dog will act puppy-y in the right circumstances, which probably don't include a polar bear."

de-boring-ified

verb. A service performed by great humanitarians and evil supervillains alike.

Real citation: "Not until sometime next week (if, by then, the site lives), and will probably take place over AIM. I'll shoulder the actual validating by myself for a short time, to give other potentials the chance to read and get acquainted with the site rules. I've got them written up, but they're in the process of being de-boring-ified and understandable-ified. I guess what I could do if people express interest this early on in validating is open up a discussion on AIM about the rules and get some help in concreting them. That'd be cool, and it would definitely speed up your process in getting to work in the Queue. :)"
(May 1, 2009, Brittany Payne, Livejournal, http://freya1867.livejournal.com/1064.html)

Made-up citation: "After watching Star Trek, I feel as if a vast, empty wasteland of snooze-inducing nonsense has been completely de-boring-ified. And you can't beat Captain Kirk fraking a green alien babe. USA! USA!"

egg-splosive

adj. When omelettes go kaboom, it's the bacon that suffers.

Real citation: "'A dozen Faberge’ eggs.' A menacing voice said. Stepping out from the shadows, Egghead smiled forebodingly as he crossed his arms. 'Egg-celent,' he sneered, 'This will be my most egg-splosive plan yet! The only thing that may hamper it from hatching is that new dirty do-gooder, Batwoman.'"
(July 9, 2007, Livejournal, http://community.livejournal.com/bats_femslash/23906.html)

Made-up citation: "I prefer an egg-splosive evangelist to a poopy-ridden parishioner. That's just how I was raised."

anti-anti-anti-tit-for-tat

adj. What do I look like, a tit-for-tat-ologist? You figure it out.

Real citation: "So, in the second year, people started writing specifically anti-tit-for-tat algorithms, trying to beat last year’s winner. And, being the sort of people they are, anti-anti-tit-for-tat algorithms, and anti-anti-anti-tit-for-tat algorithms, and so on."
(April 9, 2009, Enfranchised Mind, http://enfranchisedmind.com/blog/posts/cooperation-and-morality-without-god/)

Made-up citation: "Dr. Vargas, I grow tired of your anti-anti-anti-tit-for-tat paradigms, which are exceedingly problematic! Your zombie army is a real headache too."

185whatever

noun. A year I remember like it was....um, a loooooong goddamn time ago.

Real citation: "From what I can find, the type-specimen (the fossil found in Germany's Neander Valley back in the 185whatever) has not been accurately dated. It's range is given at 30k - 100k. I suspect it is towards the younger end of that scale. mtDNA was recovered from it,, as well as from a juvenile Neandertal iin Russia dated at 29K"
(Oct. 30, 2003, FRDB, http://www.freeratio.org/archive/index.php/t-66673.html)

Made-up citation: "In 185whatever, Benjamin Franklin invented socks. Or he was the first American to wear socks. Or he strangled his young children with a sock. Or whatever. I'm not a historian! I just work here, God damn you all."

nano-nads

noun. Balls of steel. Very, very small steel that no one can see, except for leprechauns and protons.

Real citation: "I dunno. Judging from his name and his pissy attitude, I'd think he must have nano-nads."
(June 19, 2003, Too Much To Dream, http://spleenville.com/~lilith33/blog/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=1825)

Made-up citation: "You may think I--as a lifelong coward--have nano-nads, but, well, um, er, uh... My dog doesn't have any nads at all, because he's neutered. So there. Also, if you really want a precise measurement of my testicular endowment, you'd better ask your mom."

trainwreckaliciously

adv. Commonly applied to would-be romances and entertainment products. Its origins are unknown; some speculate that the word originally referred to tragedy on the high seas.

Real citation: "Dinner at Millennium (thanks for the rec,@grubreport): delicious, AND seated next to trainwreckaliciously pretentious first date."
(May 7, 2009, SarahDBunting, Twitter, http://twitter.com/SarahDBunting)

Made-up citation: "Thus far, my career in organ harvesting has been trainwreckaliciously bad. Talk about a rookie mistake: I grabbed a lung when I was looking for a spleen! Me and my mom had a long laugh about that one, after she regained consciousness."

gastro-something-something-ologist

noun. I don't know who this dude is or what he wants, but he just flipped my stomach with the gastro-spatula. And it feels right.

Real citation: "Piper went to the doctor yesterday. She still has a fungus in her hair follicles causing a slight balding patch. The problem is that to treat it, you have to take oral fungal medication. Her bloodwork showed that some of her liver levels were high, and the medication would affect that further. The doctor was going to talk to a gastro-something-something-ologist to check on her levels and what that means. There were 2 that were high, while 2 others that involve liver function were fine. She was unsure what that meant. We are still waiting on her stool sample (ick) results, so maybe there is a parasite we don't know about. Hopefully we get that soon.
(Aug. 22, 2007, Heart in Africa, http://heartinafrica.blogspot.com/2007/08/birth-order.html)

Made-up citation: "Call the gastro-something-something-ologist! I just swallowed a live ferret, and I think it ate my spleen. Don't judge me."

debaucheristical

adj. Would Snow White approve? Maybe after a few drinks and a tasteful dwarfsploitation film.

Real citation: "um....b....i thought you were sending me your debaucheristical pics....wtf!"
(Dec. 13, 2007, RootZoo, http://wwww.rootzoo.com/threads/view/NFL-Football/Oakland-Raiders/CHECK-THIS-OUT.....NEWBIES-_and_-OGs.....ROOTS-FOR-COMMENTS._70556)

Made-up citation: "My lifestyle is not exceptionally debaucheristical... But I got a pint of Ben & Jerry's and the Tropic Thunder DVD, so I say whoo-hoo!"

not-jiggly-anywhere

adj. Jiggle enthusiasts, look elsewhere!

Real citation: "Dorie says to bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until they jiggle only in the center. I set the timer for 40 minutes and went off to get the kids into bed. I did not even think about the custards again until the timer went off after 40 minutes. Well, apparently my oven is running hot these days, because by the time I got there, it was evident that I had missed the 'jiggly only in the center' stage by a long shot. My custards were not only not 'jiggly in the center,' they were, I kid you not, the Jessica Biel of spoon desserts, i.e., not jiggly anywhere. Which is great for you if you are Jessica Biel, but very, very bad if you are a custard. Because this is what happens when you stir up a not-jiggly-anywhere custard:"
(March 10, 2009, The Tortefeasor, http://thetortefeasor.blogspot.com/2009/03/twd-vanilla-bean-cup-custards-or-mildly.html)

Made-up citation: "Though I am renowned for my award-winning, soul-nourishing fiction and improbable feats of unbridled athleticism on the lacrosse field, I am most proud of my not-jiggly-anywhere physique, which you too can obtain with daily supplements of unholy nanotechnology--they will also put a rabid bear in your underwear, if you know what I mean."