Wednesday, January 23, 2008


adj. Sometimes the Gods bestow a miracle. Other times, Juicy Fruit.

Real citation: “In the store, Kima asks the clerk for a pack of Juicy Fruit. As she waits for him to get it from behind the counter (wow, even gum? I expect that for razor blades or blank DVDs, but gum? Damn), she takes in the security camera mounted up by the ceiling, and the heavily barricaded back room. When the clerk returns with her gum, he observes that she's one of those "half-soul, half-Chinese types, from Vietnam and shit." I guess Jeff Probst isn't the only one flummoxed by the notion that people of Asian descent aren't ethnically interchangeable. Anyway, Kima doesn't bother to confirm or deny it and saunters out, beJuicyFruited.”
(Wing Chun, “Home Rooms,” Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: “Guards, bring me a bedoofused, behipstered, beJuicyFruited, beer-bestanked buffoon. And a salad.”

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