donut-proof

adj. This describes, possibly, the worst superpower of all.

Real citation: "Just spotted a Superman who's not donut-proof. #SDCC"
(July 22, 2010, Patton Oswalt, Twitter, http://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/19269742199)

Made-up citation: "Sadly, none of my orifices is donut-proof. Shut up, it's a condition."

sleep-bacon-eater

noun. Wow. And I thought sleep-sexing was sexy.

Real citation: "@AshkeSV No, I'm a sleep-bacon-eater. *totally sounds like a @DrDoofenshmirtz invention*"
(July 19, 2010, WendySparrow, Twitter, http://twitter.com/WendySparrow/status/18929163450)

Made-up citation: "I come from a long line of sleep-bacon-eaters. Also, there were some sleep-pig-plookers on my mom's side. So that evens out."

JizzEverytimeISeeMenInSuits-itis

noun. A valid reason to consult your doctor and change your underoos.

Real citation: "I have a serious case of 'JizzEverytimeISeeMenInSuits-itis'."
(July 19, 2010, Tumblr, http://hereforpizza.tumblr.com/)

Made-up citation: "Since I never wear a suit, I am rarely the cause of JizzEverytimeISeeMenInSuits-itis. However, I have eight different types of cootie."

gastroentermologist

noun. I know in my gut that bugs have something to do with this.

Real citation: "Yes elitist eggheads it's not 'bug scientists,' I was just talkin' Real American. I know they're gastroentermologists."
(July 20, 2010, SP GhostTweeter, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Tweetin4Palin/status/19008676129)

Made-up citation: "I never use gastroentermologists. If the exorcist can't fix it, it can't be fixed, and I sell the remains on Craigslist."

retrospectively-pretty-nasty-y-ish

adj. Looking back, ew!

Real citation: "morning. Really want a sugary syrupy sickly not-very-coffee-y retrospectively-pretty-nasty-y-ish starbucks right now."
(July 16, 2010, Sam Martlew, Twitter, http://twitter.com/smartlew/status/18673261378)

Made-up citation: "So much of life is retrospectively-pretty-nasty-y-ish. However, the situation improves among populations that have a non-boning policy regarding your mom."

post-Satan-ization

noun. An important period in the life of a child.

Real citation: "how blinded these post satan-ization post 1968 Western value hippy pastors are; & are being used by Satan to spread his humanist manifesto"
(July 1, 2010, Missionary Japan, Twitter, http://twitter.com/MissionaryJapan/status/17495747445)

Made-up citation: "I'm enjoying my post-Satan-ization years very much. I am so lucky Oprah came into my life."

turbo-lie

verb. To super-mega-hella-deep-dish-lie. With a side dish of prevarication.

Real citation: "So he smiles, giving the deal away completely, then instantly switches gears and just turbo-lies right into the camera. I thought: this is just like politics! A terrible, totally unskilled liar, telling a completely transparent lie, who then improbably gets let off the hook by the sycophantic moron interviewing him. What is it about this story we love so much?"
(July 11, 2010, Matt Taibbi, http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/matt-taibbi/blogs/TaibbiData_May2010/179533/83512)

Made-up citation: "I'm not good at turbo-lies... I need to be honest. Except about your mom. Swear to God, I can't even picture her in a brothel!"

unbrother-ifying

verb. To remove brotherly influence from a place, like a bedroom, gazebo, or Cylon baseship.

Real citation: "Hello twitterland!! ...I'm bored. But I'm going to be unbrother-ifying the room upstairs today :D Yeeee! Maybe I'll paint! Woohoo!"
(July 10, 2010, Tess M, Twitter, http://twitter.com/penhappytess/status/18221749403)

Made-up citation: "As an only child, I know nothing of unbrother-ifying. It's a gap in my resume, I grant you."

vagizzle-ologist

noun. A trained professional in the art and science of hoo-ha-itude.

Real citation: "@yattalxndr lmao.. If secretions are on them.. Free clinic might not do it.. Might need a Vagizzle-ologist"
(June 17, 2010, Dave Black, Twitter, http://twitter.com/MrDaveBlackATL/status/16401542108)

Made-up citation: "Don't bring a vagizzle-ologist to a vajazzle-ologist fight. I don't know who would win, but I'd just avoid the whole mess, personally."

vuvuzela-ified

adj. Moderately to severely ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-ized.

Real citation: "Will they play a vuvuzela-ified version of 'Jai Ho!' in the stadium if Di Maria scores? #SlumdogMadridista"
(July 3, 2010, Saajid, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ILoveReal/status/17650816651)

Made-up citation: "My mother always vuvuzela-ified my lullabies. It was very odd, even for a family of bees."

non-pretend-y

adj. Truthful. Forthright. Un-BS-ish.

Real citation: "It’s a very direct way. It’s a no-bullshit way, non-pretend-y way to do this kind of thing."
(Louis C.K., The Onion A.V. Club, http://www.avclub.com/articles/louis-ck,42621/)

Made-up citation: "How, by the sweet balls of Odin, did I miss Louis C.K. till now? He is the most wonderful, funny, understated, non-pretend-y comedian ever--he's already my all-time second favorite after George Carlin. Bonus: he is a licensed go-eat-a-bag-of-dicks-ologist."

sink-gasm

noun. Hey, faucets are erotic, man. Don't judge.

Real citation: "@MarioMano Um no. Sink-gasm anyone? Their kitchens and bathrooms and storage ideas and furniture (shall I continue?) are to die for."
(July 3, 2010, NatMcNaz, Twitter, http://twitter.com/NatMcNaz/status/17626264160)

Made-up citation: "My sink is so nasty, I think I'd catch an STD if I had a sink-gasm. Abstinence-only, baby!"

Batman-itude

noun. One of the greatest qualities a man in spandex can have.

Real citation: "When Twitter goes down, I just assume that @anniemal is making declarations of Batman-itude over the PA system"
(June 9, 2010, Bradley R, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Knownhuman/status/15792349655)

Made-up citation: "Don't question my Batman-itude, dude! You don't hear me questioning your Aquaman-osity."

Obamaphobe-phobe

noun. A hater of President-haters and descendant of the Nixonphobe-phobe.

Real citation: "This Palinphobe is also an Obamaphobe-phobe :)"
(July 3, 2010, Kara Azevedo, Twitter, http://twitter.com/karaazevedo/status/17672630967)

Made-up citation: "I just wish Obamaphobe-phobes and Obamaphobe-phobe-phobes could get along. That's the kind of Obamaverse I want to live in."

wizard's-sleeve-otomy

noun. A painful procedure, right up there with the wizard's-hat-ectomy.

Real citation: "@MsClara A wizard's-sleeve-otomy!"
(June 29, 2010, Huw Lynd-Evans, Twitter, http://twitter.com/huw_lynd_evans/status/17356278648)

Made-up citation: "I hope my wizard's-sleeve-otomy goes well. I look pretty weird for a butler."

thingy-majiggy-bobdoohicky-thang-thang

noun. One ding-dong diddly doozy of a thingy.

Real citation: "at this luncheon thingy-majiggy-bobdoohicky-thang-thang with the Mayor....no biggie ;) just took a pic with him an that was FAAAAST..."
(June 30, 2010, Stephanie Garcia, Twitter, http://twitter.com/stephstephxoxo/status/17446222485)

Made-up citation: "Can I borrow your thingy-majiggy-bobdoohicky-thang-thang? I think I left mine in your mom."

celebu-twin

noun. A famous lookalike. Kind of like your mom and John Goodman.

Real citation: "@tjaugustin You're tweeting your celebu-twin! That's too mind-warpy!"
(June 21, 2010, Alexander Saleh, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LosAngelic/status/16679084168)

Made-up citation: "If I had a celebu-twin, maybe I'd finally get some use out of my celebu-dungeon and celebu-bayonet. Alas!"

beef plunger

noun. In my family, we call it the salami squeegee.

Real citation: "I love having evil inside me because that's what we nicknamed his beef plunger."
(June 25, 2010, blondediva11, Twitter, http://twitter.com/blondediva11/status/17050104784)

Made-up citation: "Never trust a man till you've slammed his beef plunger in the window."

be-Shatnered

adj. Sort of like being be-Khaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn!-ed.

Real citation: "nice mentions of my stuff in your piece on be-Shatnered expletives. thanks."
(June 28, 2010, Arnold Zwicky, private email)

Made-up citation: "Better a be-Shatnered voice than be-poopooed pants, as Oprah says."

beard-in-law

noun. A position I aspire to, as soon as Christina Hendricks accepts my proposal and calls off those snipers.

Real citation: "@wordnik, I -in-law those. My wife's dog is my dog-in-law. She doesn't have a beard, but she does have a beard-in-law (mine)."
(June 23, 2010, Michael Waddell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Quadell/status/16864628852)

Made-up citation: "In Oregon, if you shave a beard-in-law, you are legally entitled to a free puppy."

too-much-information-ometer

noun. A device that, for some reason, keeps beeping as I talk about my anal bleaching and how the whitening of my cornhole makes me feel.

Real citation: "@SimonBishop Colour me utterly fucking horrified. Is your too-much-information-ometer malfunctioning?"
(June 19, 2010, Sarah Boo Shoe, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Scaraboo/status/16562606883)

Made-up citation: "The world would be a better place with affordable too-much-information-ometers. They could prevent me from telling you the full, unvarnished truth about my pee-pee."

cockroach-readable

adj. Sure to be a hot trend sometime after 8-D goes out of style.

Real citation: "If the Library of Congress really wants its Twitter archive availible to far future generations, they should make it 'cockroach-readable.'"
(June 23, 2010, Peter-john Byrnes, Twitter, http://twitter.com/peterbyrnes/status/16842659504)

Made-up citation: "My articles have always been cockroach-readable, because I think ahead. Also, my great-great-grand-dad was some kind of bug."

poo-manity

noun. Crapkind.

Real citation: "Oh the poo-manity."
(Feb. 5, 2010, Lindsay Maddox, Silly Mom Thoughts, http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/2010/02/oh-the-poo-manity/)

Made-up citation: "Don't bring pee-manity to a poo-manity fight."

woodchuck-icide

noun. Such a tragic, senseless act. Wouldn't your-mom-icide be better?

Real citation: "Hanging on the front porch, watching it rain. Seriously pondering woodchuck-icide - 2 bean bushes and a tomato plant taken down to roots #fb"
(June 10, 2010, Bill Jankowski, Twitter, http://twitter.com/billjank/status/15892906494)

Made-up citation: "I could never commit woodchuck-icide. Never! My killing sprees have given you the wrong idea."

beer pump elbow

noun phrase. A painful condition, though not as ouch-y as post-traumatic no-beer syndrome.

Real citation: "J says he's suffering from Beer Pump Elbow as a result of @LarkCrafts #Etsy party yesterday. Send help."
(June 19, 2010, Bruisin' Ales, Twitter, http://twitter.com/bruisinales/status/16554895519)

Made-up citation: "Not sure if this pain is beer pump elbow or tennis elbow... Does anyone know if I'm an athlete or an alcoholic?"

evil scientist-istic

adj. Unholy experimentation much?

Real citation: "Guess its better than those evil scientist-istic lab coats KHQ once made their staffers wear....."
(June 18, 2010, Amanda Emily, Twitter, http://twitter.com/alemily/status/16513607038)

Made-up citation: "If I hadn't flunked my evil scientist-istic coursework, I bet my death ray would be more death-y. Sigh."

espnclassicable

adj. The highest praise that can be bestowed upon a sporting event, short of a free harem for the winner.

Real citation: "For such a ballyhooed series, the 2010 Finals haven’t met our (impossibly high, admittedly) expectations. I'd compare it to Season 5 of 'The Wire' – tons of hype going in, entertaining/dramatic/compelling/intense in the moment, but as a finished body of work leading up to the final episode? Like the lead-up episodes in Season 5, the lead-up games of the 2010 Finals didn't reach their potential. Like Season 5, we didn’t see a main character peak for an extended time (with the exception of Ray Allen’s first half of Game 2 and Kobe’s third quarter in Game 5). Like Season 5, we didn’t have a 'WOW!' moment along the lines of… (sorry, I can’t spoil Season 5’s 'WOW!' moment). And like Season 5, none of those first six Finals games were espnclassicable (I just made up that word). Which is kind of amazing. If we don’t get there tonight, will we end up considering the 2010 Finals something of a historical lemon? Possibly."
(June 17, 2010, Bill Simmons, ESPN.com, http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?id=5291143)

Made-up citation: "I don't care what you say, my pillow fights are all espnclassicable. However, my thumb-wrestling career has been a disappointment."

anachrospectalithophobia

noun. See below--if you haven't been killed or de-spectacled by rock-wielding savages yet.

Real citation: "2. I confessed to Jay today that one of my recurring worries is that I will time travel to ancient times and not be able to keep my glasses safe and hidden. He invented the term 'anachrospectalithophobia': fear of being stoned to death for wearing glasses before they were invented."
(June 11, 2010, Green Moon Pax, http://greenmoonpax.blogspot.com/2010/06/friday-miscellany.html)

Made-up citation: "As a glasses-wearer and time-machine-haver, I am concerned about anachrospectalithophobia. Soon I will test my hypothesis that it can be cured through beer."

meditate-bate

verb. Bashing the Buddha.

Real citation: "(646):
I tried to meditate and ended up masturbating.
(646-1):
You mean you meditate-bated."
(June 15, 2010, Best Sexts Ever, http://bestsextsever.tumblr.com/post/700551797/646-i-tried-to-meditate-and-ended-up)

Made-up citation: "I've never had the patience to meditate-bate. Well, maybe some quick prayer-bation on Sunday."

diet root beer-ology

noun. And I thought my grad school experience was a waste.

Real citation: "@repressd or diet root beer-ology"
(June 11, 2010, Twitter, http://twitter.com/wil_m/status/15973318208)

Made-up citation: "I think I could contribute something to the field of diet root beer-ology, like pee."

twitch-a-thon-orama

noun. This makes jimmy legs seem like coma legs.

Real citation: "can't sleep...am having a twitch-a-thon-orama. thus the many tweets...am a bit hyper."
(June 8, 2010, Rose Strazzeri, Twitter, http://twitter.com/catslikebugs/status/15709448619)

Made-up citation: "It's hell sleeping next to someone going through a twitch-a-thon-orama. That's why a smart sleeper doesn't hit the sheets without their favorite ax tucked under a pillow."

bride-o-rexia

noun. I know something about this condition. My cousin Billy has been eating nothing but brides and honey mustard since 1978.

Real citation: "2 more hours until dinner at Leon. I'm HHUUUNNNNGGRRRRYYYYYYYY. Stupid bride-o-rexia."
(June 11, 2010, Mary-Rose Agius, Twitter, http://twitter.com/didyouputgarlic/status/15936973154)

Made-up citation: "I won't rest until bride-o-rexia is cured. Well, maybe a quick nap..."

clust-tastrophe

noun. Sometimes a clusterfuck and a fuckin' catastrophe have a beautiful baby bumblefuck.

Real citation: "Nuking the oil spill... Totally sensationalizing an already sensational Clust-tastrophe of the highest order."
(June 3, 2010, Andrew Contreras, Twitter, http://twitter.com/andrewrama/status/15327594950)

Made-up citation: "I've gotten to the point where I expect every first date to be a clust-tastrophe. If it turns out to be only a crapocalypse, I'm so relieved."

patriotic-ification

noun. USA!-USA!-ization.

Real citation: "@Ravin_robboo haha u like my patriotic-ification? haha i was bored"
(June 7, 2010, Lizzy XP, Twitter, http://twitter.com/liizzzyyyy96/status/15652896656)

Made-up citation: "Do you like the patriotic-ification of my junk? I tattooed the flag on my left ball. I'm saving the right for a portrait of Reagan, FYI."

old-balls-itude

noun. Can man-vajazzling fix this?

Real citation: "@jjfugleberg Thanks man. I'm glad to have joined the ranks of old-balls-itude. How's Kentucky today?"
(Feb. 5, 2010, John Nelson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/johnnelson1/statuses/8689000886)

Made-up citation: "It never bugs me to contemplate my old-balls-itude. I just thank Jesus he spared me--for one more day--the prospect of laminated-balls-itude."

jiggyzigglewinky

adj. A feeling all can relate to yet few can define. Yes, that's a cop-out. So's your face.

Real citation: "@wordlust just things, the other ones make me feel all jiggyzigglewinky"
(June 5, 2010, Elana, Twitter, http://twitter.com/vuelacara/status/15516029721)

Made-up citation: "I haven't felt jiggyzigglewinky all year. Should I call my doctor?"

duke-diddly-ookie

noun. A Ned Flanders-style turd.

Real citation: "For Yer Poppa, it's been a life of dooks, dookies, duchesses, droppin' ducats, dukin' it out and bustin' some duke-diddly-ookies. But seriously, until I beheld what a crap movie this Marmaduke appears to be, it had never occurred to me that a 'marmaduke' could be a 'huge shit.' Thank you. It'll be there when you need it."
(June 3, 2010, Pop Cesspool, http://www.popcesspool.net/2010/06/marmaduke-the-magnum-euphemism-freshly-discovered.html)

Made-up citation: "Don't bring a duke-diddly-ookie to a nuke-diddly-ookie fight."

poodle-pocalypse

noun. At least when the end comes, we'll be able to laugh at its haircut.

Real citation: "@jeyberg74 Ack, the poodle-pocalypse!"
(May 12, 2010, Twitter, http://twitter.com/aaronpolson/status/13864145038)

Made-up citation: "No one knows exactly what a poodle-pocalypse is or why it has been foretold for minutes, except this: no allergies. Sweet."

pissed-off-osity

noun. May be caused by immodest ingestion of rageahol.

Real citation: "Words don't describe my pissed-off-osity right now. DO NO DESCRIBE."
(May 20, 2010, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jerocrowe/status/14387973474)

Made-up citation: "I don't often engage in senseless pissed-off-osity, but when the servants forget to lick-clean the door handles, I lose it."

old-people-tastic

adj. Elderly-licious.

Real citation: "@dangervillage it is old-people-tastic!!"
(May 26, 2010, Maura Johnston, Twitter, http://twitter.com/maura/status/14799865924)

Made-up citation: "I avoid restaurants whose chicken fingers are commonly called 'old-people-tastic'. That's just how I was raised."

meeting-gasm

noun. I guess Powerpoint hits some people right where they live.

Real citation: "just had a meeting with an EXTREMELY cool client. damn, i think i have a meeting-gasm.."
(May 26, 2010, Evita Aprilia, Twitter, http://twitter.com/epitavril/status/14743572033)

Made-up citation: "The lack of meetings in my life has meant a lack of meeting-gasms. On the upside, I haven't killed anybody this year."

groinicure

noun. The holy grail of crotchular curation.

Real citation: "@wordlust A groinicure. Isn't it what we all want?"
(May 31, 2010, Jill Elswick, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jillelswick/status/15123272432)

Made-up citation: "Whether I need it or not, I get a groinicure every Memorial Day. You're welcome, America."

sweltering-ier

adj. A word used often in summer and/or hell.

Real citation: "@addknitter I imagine it's even sweltering-ier in Athens."
(May 26, 2010, spillyjane, Twitter, http://twitter.com/spillyjaneknits/status/14800909900)

Made-up citation: "I don't know why my basement is sweltering-ier than my attic, unless it's those hellish flames acting up again..."

tv-destroying-thingy-majiggy

noun. A terrible majiggy! Please, let's not dwell on it.

Real citation: "@mokpow i think i'll watch with a pitchfork and a tv-destroying-thingy-majiggy weapon next week. :)"
(March 20, 2010, Angela Gabrielle, Twitter, http://twitter.com/forte_alice/status/14352186897)

Made-up citation: "The only thing worse than a tv-destroying-thingy-majiggy would be a beer-destroying-thingy-majiggy. Don't get any ideas, science!"

soul matey-eyed

adj. A more barfy form of goo-goo eyes.

Real citation: "I brought a blanket, says Charlie. And of course, it's he and Claire who get all soul matey–eyed. Which is totally confusing, because wasn't Charlie ALREADY enlightened? Wasn't that the whole point of him driving Desmond off the bridge?"
(May 24, 2010, Emily Nussbaum, New York, http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/05/lost_recap_finale_the_end.html)

Made-up citation: "I thought I was the master of getting all soul matey-eyed with the ladies. Then I went to the ophthalmologist, and he cleared that mess up."

pre-monster-ization

adj. A lovely period in a monster's life that is mostly free of torch-wielding villagers.

Real citation: "@chicotherobot me too!! pre-monster-ization"
(May 21, 2010, Katie Johnson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/BonesAches/status/14430501978)

Made-up citation: "I miss my pre-monster-ization phase... Some days, I just don't feel like killing everything I see, you know?"

Betty Bringer-downer

noun. The real reason Archie chose Veronica?

Real citation: "I hate to be Betty Bringer-downer, but maybe we should talk about things we didn't like about the show."
(May 24, 2010, Liz Kelly, Celebritology 2.0, http://voices.washingtonpost.com/celebritology/2010/05/lost_dueling_analysis_the_end.html)

Made-up citation: "I've never been a Betty Bringer-downer. I'm more of an Orville Organ-stealer. Sorry about that."

douchebag-otomy

noun. Finally, medicine came up with something useful.

Real citation: “I wonder if it would be possible to give the guy upstairs a douchebag-otomy? Or should that be a douchebag-ectomy? You know what I mean.”
(May 19, 2010, James R, Twitter, http://twitter.com/lifeofjames/status/14329937685)

Made-up citation: "Never do a lobotomy when a douchebag-otomy will suffice. Well, unless you're in one of those moods, Dr. Vargas."

trainwreck-splosion

noun. Literally or metaphorically, a disaster-mageddon.

Real citation: "@cnevett yes but conflict + crazy call in factor? Trainwreck splosion"
(May 13, 2010, Sean Witzke, Twitter, http://twitter.com/switzke/status/13945557367)

Made-up citation: "Some say my love life is a Cylonoscopy or trainwreck-splosion. Nonsense. You're being much too hard on your mom."

Cylonoscopy

noun. The most invasive procedure in all of Cylonology.

Real citation: "For more in-depth internal scans for problems, there's the ever-dreaded ...Cylonoscopy."
(Feb. 25, 2007, Colonial Fleets, http://www.colonialfleets.com/forums/showthread.php?p=257805)

Made-up citation: "I'm a bad fan... I can never remember what episode Dr. Baltar gave a Cylonoscopy to Col. Tigh in the men's room."

cheese-sploitation

noun. A film genre or sandwich that any self-respecting cheese would hide from his mother.

Real citation: "@PapaZeb doode, have you seen 'bitch Slap'? awesome movie in a pure cheese-sploitation way"
(May 13, 2010, Barry Neeson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/connor_obain/status/13902149898)

Made-up citation: "You don't have to be lactose intolerant to think cheese-sploitation films are crap. This goes way beyond dairy, unless you consider Sandra Bullock a dairy product."

mouth-breathermobile

noun. Wheels of the damned. I mean, the dumb. Duh.

Real citation: "A TransAm’s inherent awesomeness was kicked up a significant notch with an impressive burnout demonstration (a symbolic representation of the young buffoon’s ever-so-agile sperm motility, though he likely wasn’t thinking about that, or much else) at Sunset and Western avenues. But the symbolic display of reproductive prowess took a humiliating plummet when the mouth-breathermobile slammed into a fire hydrant, unleashing a prematurely orgasmic fountain of wa-wa. As the dethroned cock-o’-the-block scurried away like a scared kitten in his crumpled chariot, an angered neighbor phoned police with a profanity-peppered report of the incident. As emergency forces sped to the scene, police handily located the slammed TransAm going nowhere fast on Boyd Road. Burnout Boy was returned to the scene to face the music, which took the form of police radios and a witness saying something along the lines of, 'Yeah, that’s him.' The on-call Public Works tech responded and turned off the water."
(May 13, 2010, Kevin L. Hoover, The Arcata Eye, http://www.arcataeye.com/2010/05/when-hobbits-go-wrong-only-a-buzzkill-from-the-skies-can-slow-%E2%80%99em-down-%E2%80%93-may-13-2010/)

Made-up citation: "Don't get between a mouth-breather and his mouth-breathermobile--unless you have a nice sharp knife."

Halliburtonoilpocalypse

noun. Come on, do I have to do everything for you people?

Real citation: "How come the #Halliburton Gulf Oil-geddon doesn't have a cool name, like Gulf Oil-gedden, or Oil-gate, or Halliburtonoilpocolypse?"
(May 12, 2010, Twitter, http://twitter.com/frank1569/status/13877939686)

Made-up citation: "I wish Halliburtonoilpocalypse had more of a ring to it... I could use a name for my unborn child."

John Goodman-ishness

noun. A quality only one person possesses in abundance: your mom. I apologize to John Goodman for any offense this causes.

Real citation: "@SuperEddie Is it my imagination, or does your new Twitter icon have a somewhat John Goodman-ishness to it"
(Feb. 1, 2010, Melanie MacSmiley, Twitter, http://twitter.com/MacSmiley/statuses/8527405410)

Made-up citation: "One of the many pleasures of The Big Lebowski is the ample amount of John Goodman-ishness. Plus, you know, everything."

conclusiastical

adj. Like Ecclesiastical, but more end-y-ish.

Real citation: "Conclusiastical remarks
Hopefully, some of the high-profile athletes in Vancouver will do a similar service to the old, the squishy and the dimwitted by adjusting their current campaign of shame against the unexceptional. Until they learn to play down their physical fitness and warmth and charm, though, they're going to do enormous damage to the morale of millions of regular, ugly, unfunny, stupid Americans. It needs to stop. Today, we draw a line in the snow and say: No more!"
(Feb. 21, 2010, Heather Havrilesky, Salon, http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/heather_havrilesky/2010/02/20/olympics_damages_the_ricky_gervais_show/)

Made-up citation: "I think 'series finale event' is a silly term for the last episode of Lost. Why not 'conclusiastical clusterfuck'? Come on, marketers!"

post-ear-ectomy

adj. Referring to a tough period in the life of a tortured artist, unlucky pro wrestler, or anyone unfortunate enough to spend a night with your mom.

Real citation: "@AllisonJessica well, it's obvs Van Gogh. and i'm going to say it's that self-portrait he did... post-ear-ectomy."
(May 11, 2010, Andrew Sell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/andy_sell/status/13792099333)

Made-up citation: "If your spouse-to-be insists on including the word 'post-ear-ectomy' in your wedding vows, it might be a good time to run for your life or start wearing your Iron Man helmet to bed."

ChakaKhan-ologist

noun. Not the most respected academic field. It does rank higher than your-mom-ologist.

Real citation: "@CurrieTerrell Don't they know you're a ChakaKhan-ologist?"
(April 14, 2010, Justin Biegger, Twitter, http://twitter.com/JustinBiegger/statuses/12187622434)

Made-up citation: "My mom always wanted me to be a ChakaKhan-ologist... Maybe that's because Chaka Khan is my mom. It was hard growing up with the other kids constantly screaming 'Khaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn!'"

photo-eejitry

noun. Photo-dumbassitude.

Real citation: ".@munchious Oh no! Our President is guilty of photo-eejitry! And at Gerry Ryan's funeral! #awfuleejit http://twitpic.com/1ljbr8"
(May 6, 2010, Kate Horgan, Twitter, http://twitter.com/katehorgan/status/13493713663)

Made-up citation: "I'm barely capable of photography, much less photo-eejitry. Being stupid is awesome."

smooth-ification-itude

noun. I'm so smooth, I don't need to define this word. Also, I'm drunk.

Real citation: "I heard the sys reqs really aren't that steep. It just appears that way because of smooth-ification-itude (can't remember technical word for it)."
(March 4, 2010, Nuklear Power Forums, http://forum.nuklearpower.com/archive/index.php/t-13444.html)

Made-up citation: "I never studied smooth-ification-itude in college... Too many seminars on the Klingon haiku poets and great Russian Connect Four masters..."

super-kick-ass-double-whammy

adj. Awesomesauce to the fifth power.

Real citation: "This episode was super-kick-ass-double-whammy awesome. Which is to say I enjoyed it very much."
(May 3, 2010, "3-7: "One Minute" 2010.05.02," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3195149&view=findpost&p=12866734)

Made-up citation: "Might check out Revolution Brewing today. We'll see how their beer rates on a scale of super-kick-ass-double-whammy to your mom."

handsome-osity

noun. Something I possess in abundance, along with iced orphan tears.

Real citation: "@AdamDamnLazzara Tell 'em to be patient. The mid-bowing music and handsome-osity will sit there waiting."
(April 13, Jenny P., Twitter, http://twitter.com/spresky/statuses/12110011046)

Made-up citation: "Handsome-osity will only take you so far. To escape Oprah's dungeon, you have to also smuggle a handgun in your pooter."

hair-rock-tacular

adj. Moderately Poison-licious. Also, please feed me some poison.

Real citation: "Listening to the Lords Of Dogtown soundtrack, 80's hair-rock-tacular!"
(April 22, 2010, Paul Mernock, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Maldini/statuses/12638656804)

Made-up citation: "I once had the hair for a hair-rock-tacular life, but never the power chords. Power naps are more my thing."

ponytail-ectomy

adj. A brutal surgery that leaves so many scrunchies without a job--or hope.

Real citation: "Miss 7: "Daddy the scitech putty bounced into my hair." Had to perform emergency ponytail-ectomy. #deadmanwhenwifegetshome"
(April 15, 2010, Daniel Simpson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/dansimmo1/statuses/12209334262)

Made-up citation: "I remember my ponytail-ectomy... It was a tough day. Almost as tough as the day I gave my balls a Canadian--the Brazilian's frigid cousin."

cookie-dough-gasmic

adj. I think I need to spend some time alone with this word before I can define it. Thank you.

Real citation: "@skodobah they are cookie-dough-gasmic. That they are."
(April 15, 2010, Heidi Sutherlin, Twitter, http://twitter.com/heidisutherlin/statuses/12264342281)

Made-up citation: "Baby, I love you! You're cookie-dough-gasmic! And I'm not just saying that because I'm a cannibal."

pollen-mageddon

noun. The reason I am currently a snotbucket. This coldpocalypse isn't helping either.

Real citation: "@raylougrif I bet. I was supposed to see the Apollo 13 program in person, but crashed and burned due to pollen-mageddon. Story of my life."
(April 15, 2010, James Cook, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jimcook310/statuses/12263627601)

Made-up citation: "There's only one way to beat a pollen-mageddon: voodoo. The only problem is making a voodoo doll small enough."

YAAAAAA-ummmm

interjection. Because "yum" can't always get the job done.

Real citation: "@bruisinales Yum! Or: YAAAAAA-ummmm!"
(April 28, 2010, Maureen Ogle, Twitter, http://twitter.com/maureenogle/status/13024535878)

Made-up citation: "Can I tell you how I feel about bao, the Chinese steamed bun? One way I feel is YAAAAAA-ummmm. Another way is: I'd trade my children to pirates for them. I think I've said enough."

snobamachine

noun. A contraption that is downright un-American. Darn tootin'.

Real citation: "Don't confuse snow machines for ridin' w/lib gov't snow machine for controllin' weather. 2nd one is a snobamachine."
(April 26, 2010, SP GhostTweeter, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Tweetin4Palin/status/12901983809)

Made-up citation: "When choosing between a snobamachine and a slobamachine, I consider my feelings about squalor."

loser-y-ish

adj. Pseudo-loser-esque.

Real citation: "Loser-y-ish. Really self? It's been 2 days...Lol."
(April 23, 2010, Twitter, http://twitter.com/TizBUNZbitch/statuses/12718348051)

Made-up citation: "Sometimes I feel loser-y-ish. Then I remember I'm Christina Hendricks' secret boyfriend. Then I give thanks to Xenu for this great blessing."

Boobafjallajokull

noun. An unintended consequence of the boobquake, much like Ragnarack.

Real citation: "@wordlust ...And perhaps Boobafjallajokull"
(April 26, 2010, Catherine Thatch, Twitter, http://twitter.com/cath68/status/12894113936)

Made-up citation: "There's no over-the-shoulder boulder-holder in the world that can contain the wrath of Boobafjallajokull. You can thank Mr. Jesus for that."

Nimoy-licious

adj. Mmm...Spock-y.

Real citation: "Star Trek Online The Beginner Tutorial: After the Nimoy-licious opening cinematic, which sets… http://goo.gl/fb/KMux4"
(April 22, 2010, Twitter, http://twitter.com/gr750/statuses/12670516963)

Made-up citation: "On a scale of illogical to Nimoy-licious, how would you rate my brain?"

Tom Cruise-ified

adj. A sad and terrifying state that so many babes and movies have suffered.

Real citation: "Tom Cruise-ified Katie Holmes scares me. Bring back Joey Potter! #random"
(April 19, 2010, Joy Landen Avery, Twitter, http://twitter.com/joylandenavery/statuses/12468185693)

Made-up citation: "I don't like anything that has been Tom Cruise-ified except Tropic Thunder. With his dancing, swearing, and enormous paws, Cruise justified his existence to the gods--even Zeus, a tough critic."

crazy-loco-istic

adj. Cuckoo for bodaciously batshit bonkers puffs.

Real citation: "its nice to kumpul. esp wit my crazy-loco-istic cousin, whom i proudly announce her name, LIA :P"
(April 13, 2010, Meera Monday, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Meeramonday/statuses/12107763695)

Made-up citation: "We all do crazy-loco-istic things. Some smoke cigarettes or crack. Others are smoke monsters. You gotta have a hobby."

fuck no-edness

noun. A quality some say lacks a positive attitude and the goat-blood-soaked blessing of Oprah.

Real citation: "there's not enough 'fuck no'-edness in 'fuck no' to fully convey the 'fuck no'-ness of this idea. Here's an idea Acrobat team:"
(April 11, 2010, John C. Welch, Twitter, http://twitter.com/bynkii/statuses/12019781242)

Made-up citation: "When choosing between fuck no-edness and fuckedupedness, I make sure I'm not a beloved children's show host broadcasting live."

zwip-zwoop

interjection. The sound of flesh-on-flesh or NASA's laser-death-ray on those stupid moon people.

Real citation: "The fact that I do like shaving (so I can hear my legs go 'zwip-zwoop' when I rub them together) aside, that article is pretty illuminating."
(April 18, 2010, Miranda M., Twitter, http://twitter.com/mandsypants/status/12404111166)

Made-up citation: "'Zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop,' as I was saying to my lawyer."

moral-outrage-ometer

noun. A keen, moral-tastrophe-detecting device.

Real citation: "@buckbuckaroo True, but kind of on the other end of the moral-outrage-ometer."
(April 7, 2010, Adam Gaffin, Twitter, http://twitter.com/universalhub/statuses/11791998940)

Made-up citation: "My moral-outrage-ometer broke years ago. I think it was about the same time I got a dungeon."

Alice-in-Wonderland-ifying

verb. Oh, go stuff it down your rabbit hole.

Real citation: "in the process of alice-in-wonderland-ifying my room"
(April 9, 2010, Vandiee, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Laa_Vandie/statuses/11865208889)

Made-up citation: "I get a little bored by shows--cough*cough*Lost*cough--endlessly Alice-in-Wonderland-ifying stuff in a sloppy and vague way. Have we no other references? Let's give Tropic-Thunder-ifying a shot."

I-don't-ever-want-to-shut-my-mouth-ism

noun. A problem that could be treated by an expert in yada-yada-ology.

Real citation: "Equality, environmentalism, feminism, I-don't-ever-want-to-shut-my-mouth-ism."
(April 11, 2010, Madalena Fragoso, Twitter, http://twitter.com/MadalenaFragoso/status/12016080172)

Made-up citation: "I rarely suffer from I-don't-ever-want-to-shut-my-mouth-ism. It's just too rewarding to stuff a live meerkat in my piehole and listen to others."

celebu-infidel

noun. A celebrity featured in Satan Quarterly as well as TMZ.

Real citation: "@EJXD2 But has she heard 'Jungeland,' sung by the latest celebu-infidel?"
(April 5, 2010, Teresa Genaro, Twitter, http://twitter.com/BklynBckstretch/statuses/11669198501)

Made-up citation: "I always wanted to grow up to be a celebu-infidel...or an armpit plucker. I'm flexible."

failure-ocracy

noun. A type of government found in What-a-clusterfuck-istan.

Real citation: "Iran's double-digit unemployment rate and double-digit inflation rate shows that this Regime is a failure-ocracy! #iranelection"
(April 5, 2010, Iran Hope, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Iranpr/statuses/11673186157)

Made-up citation: "I have always lived my life according to the principles of failure-ocracy. Hey, at least it's an ethos."

bad-daughter-itude

noun. A quality found in very few sons.

Real citation: "and in further proof of my bad-daughter-itude, Happy Birthday Mummy. Sorry it took me 6 hours to remember."
(April 10, 2010, LisaMoose, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LisaMoose/statuses/11942087035)

Made-up citation: "I don't think my little girls will be full of bad-daughter-itude--not with names like Skittles Blagojevich and Spatula Marie!"

serial-almost-killer

noun. Some would-be life-snuffer-outers aren't up to snuff.

Real citation: "Ryder, in a cameo-size role, plays a serial-almost-killer who has been terrorizing the neighborhood by putting men in comas at the end of their dates. It's a total downer to see the once-great Ryder struggling through junk like this. Who gives a crap whether she's a shoplifter or not? She's a great actress, and she should be getting roles that match her talent--not shit like this."
(July 10, 2008, Bob Grimm, Tuscon Weekly, http://www.tucsonweekly.com/tucson/now-showing-at-home/Content?oid=1091834)

Made-up citation: "Being a serial-almost-killer is a dubious distinction, kind of like being your mom."

DoWhateverTheFuckIWant-edness

noun. Closely related to mine-mine-mine-mine-mine! syndrome.

Real citation: "Spontaneous DoWhateverTheFuckIwant-edness lol"
(March 19, 2010, Gene Ashley III, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Gene_CashAVE/statuses/10742849067)

Made-up citation: "As a life coach, I encourage my patients to embrace their DoWhateverTheFuckIWant-edness, after they help me with my pants. Rome wasn't built in a day."

hadron-pocalypse

noun. Boner-geddon! Or that other apocalypse-majiggy thing.

Real citation: "@crabbyolbastard @packetknife aargh, no hadron-pocalypse yet. Who's leg you gotta hump to get Ragnorak around here?"
(March 30, 2010, Barky Bree, Twitter, http://twitter.com/barkybree/statuses/11314625292)

Made-up citation: "I don't fear the hadron-pocalypse. If you haven't blown up the universe with a Large Hadron Collider, you haven't really lived at all."

non-photogenic-osity

noun. Sometimes the camera steals your soul AND beats you with the ugly stick.

Real citation: "I have to take a headshot of myself, which my non-photogenic-osity will not like."
(March 29, 2010, graciexoxxo, Twitter, link dead)

Made-up citation: "It must be tough living a life of non-photogenic-osity. As the star of 16 centerfolds, 976 tasteful online photo galleries, and my mother's refrigerator, I can't relate."

drinking-capades

noun. Booze-ventures.

Real citation: "@J_Kenn LMAO! I might have to cut back on the drinking-capades now. I'm working like a full sched."
(March 25, 2010, Chymere Hayes, Twitter, http://twitter.com/lovechymere/statuses/11055496791)

Made-up citation: "I have enjoyed many fine drinking-capades, but I barely survived my sojourn in Grain-alcohol-istan."

douche-hole-iness

noun. Look deep into the eyes and non-soul of a douche hole, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "...as others are to his douche-hole-iness. But his excuses fail on points of logic to me. Anyone knowing me well has seen my Vulcan side..."
(March 28, 2010, Tanisha Austin, Twitter, http://twitter.com/dianthusmoon/statuses/11212990973)

Made-up citation: "My therapist says I can't change my essential douche-hole-iness--or my underwear. I think it's time to get a new therapist."

PBS-ploitation

noun. I think we've identified the worst film genre in the world.

Real citation: "Tonight: FOLLOW THAT BIRD starring the venerable Big Bird as himself. Shocking PBS-ploitation at its most debased."
(March 26, 2010, Danny Shea, Twitter, http://twitter.com/danny_shea/statuses/11074292780)

Made-up citation: "Many contemporary stars began their careers in tawdry PBS-ploitation flicks. You don't even want to know which famous actress gave a handsie to Elmo. Hint: Meryl Streep."