hardbastardomorph

noun. A body type characterized by rigidity and awesomeness and hardly any mashed potato-like consistency.

Real citation: "'Dancers have different body types from footballers,' says Nicki de Leon, consultant physiotherapist with the British company Random Dance, who also treats pro footballers. 'They are usually ectomorphs — tall, willowy, thin. They don’t increase muscle bulk easily, but tend to be hypermobile, with too much movement at each joint. Whether hypermobile people are good dancers, or dancing makes them hypermobile, nobody knows.' Footballers are often hardbastardomorphs — although de Leon uses the technical term, mesomorph — characterised by an athletic body that builds muscle easily."
(March 21, 2010, Paul Croughton, Times Online, http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/stage/dance/article7065562.ece)

Made-up citation: "I'm trying to become a hardbastardomorph after years of being a softninnyomorph."

Cylonophobic

adj. Prejudiced against our Cylon brothers, sisters, and toasters.

Real citation: "If you are weirdly and obsessively Cylonophobic, you could be a closeted Cylon. Look at Colonel Tigh. He’s all about Cylon bashing and the so called 'Cylon agenda'. Doesn’t he seem like he’s probably a Cylon himself? He has that look about him. You know what I’m talking about."
(March 29, 2007, St. George Blog, http://emergencybackupdog.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "I am not Cylonophobic and never have been. If Lucy Lawless removes the restraining order, I'll prove it."

gasm-thingy

noun. New name for a sex toy?

Real citation: "Just love the gasm-thingy ;p RT @safitarn: I feel sexy after exercising.. All this sweat, this natural blush.. Sport-gasm"
(Jan. 9, 2010, Windra Bakrie, Twitter, http://twitter.com/windrakewl/statuses/7552744710)

Made-up citation: "Don't bogart the gasm-thingy! You're really getting on my nerves, Aunt Petunia."

epiphany-ified

verb. An aha-y process, often accompanied by a "doh".

Real citation: "Thought I'd share it here: Last night, I got epiphany-ified. I want to do Lykonian Saga as a webcomic. Something that doesn't require--"
(Feb. 15, 2010, Malunis, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Malunis/statuses/9169990612)

Made-up citation: "My life has two distinct periods: pre-epiphany and epiphany-ified. I'm so much happier since I realized I was meant to have sex with orcs."

glop-pocalypse

noun. Sometimes the world ends with a whimper, but usually it's with a glop.

Real citation: "It's not exactly snow here, not exactly rain. More like cold, wet glop. Glop-pocalypse??"
(March 20, 2010, featherchick, Twitter, http://twitter.com/featherchick/statuses/10777699074)

Made-up citation: "I'm ready for the glop-pocalypse. Full-body condom, activated!"

ad peeseum

adv. Like ad nauseam, but number-one-ier.

Real citation: "Dog: sniff spot, pee on spot, sniff own pee, pee on pee, continue ad peeseum."
(March 19, 2010, ChiNurse, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ChiNurse/status/10741677832)

Made-up citation: "Blah blah ad peeseum is bad; yada yada ad pooseum is worse."

church-omatic

adj. Well, it is Sunday, isn't it?

Real citation: "#putGodfirst going to church-omatic."
(Feb. 21, 2010, Jose Orduna, Twitter, http://twitter.com/josetx1/statuses/9431885608)

Made-up citation: "Using automatic weapons in a church-omatic setting is seriously no-good-omatic, according to the Bible."

doglet-having

adj. A far better life than "giant-spitting-earthworm-having".

Real citation: "settling into this new doglet-having life. she's really, really cute, soft, sweet, edible! oh, wait, not the last one."
(Feb. 28, 2010, writeanya, Twitter, http://twitter.com/writeanya/status/9807469204)

Made-up citation: "I like being a doglet-having dude. It's worth a little pee on the couch. Hey, if I exiled folks for peeing off the grid, we'd never be able to invite your mom back."

cookie-tastic-ness

noun. A tremendous quality in a cookie. Or a butler, if you eat your butlers.

Real citation: "http://twitpic.com/11s762 - Cookie-tastic-ness."
(Feb. 6, 2010, Jill, Twitter, http://twitter.com/JAG1721/statuses/8742459208)

Made-up citation: "I can't get enough cookie-tastic-ness. Ever since I was a lad, I quite preferred it to ball-of-dung-itude."

alien-head-ectomy

noun. A surgery that could be simple or precarious, depending on where the interstellar noggin hatched.

Real citation: "surgery went good...one completed alien-head-ectomy! Jme"
(Feb. 5, 2010, Jamie Elias, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jmeelias/statuses/8688030925)

Made-up citation: "As long as my annual alien-head-ectomy is covered by Obama's health plan, I'll be happy--and loyal to planet earth."

anti-anti-Jacob

noun. or adj. This describes either an important person or one of the factions on Lost. I'd say more, but a polar bear just ate me.

Real citation: "@Fox4649 clock just gave me a headache. thanks. lost lost lost lost lost! Sawyer is the new anti-ANTI-Jacob. Yesss!"
(Feb. 16, 2010, Debi Norton, Twitter, http://twitter.com/debinorton/statuses/9218043220)

Made-up citation: "When watching Lost, I am completely in the anti-anti-Jacob camp. Also, I have been sent by the Dharma Initiative to marry Lucy Lawless. I don't argue with destiny."

snow-pocalypse-icane-mageddon

noun. I just call it "Buffalo, NY" or "home" or "why I hate myself".

Real citation: "snow-pocalypse-icane-mageddon."
(Feb. 26, 2010, Julie Schneider, Twitter, http://twitter.com/secretadmiral/statuses/9688192103)

Made-up citation: "There's only one way to survive a snow-pocalypse-icane-mageddon: constant sex. If you don't believe me, ask your mom. She's a real survivalist."

de-cowpatting

verb. The process of removing all meadow muffin material from a mushroom, shoe, or loved one.

Real citation: "Thank God for the time change! My family depends on the extra hours our kids spend in the fields, nuturing cannabis & de-cowpatting shrooms."
(March 12, 2010, Kat, Twitter, http://twitter.com/kambrock/status/10388250529)

Made-up citation: "Well, I spent another day de-cowpatting the gazebo... I think it's almost ready for the human sacrifice."

un-world-domination-istic

adj. Sounds kinda bunny-y to me.

Real citation: "Took Two Career Tests Today, They Said: Fighter Plot And Murder Trial Attorney. Really? These Are Too Un-World-Domination-istic For Me."
(Feb. 16, 2010, Alex Carey, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Alll3x/statuses/9211980870)

Made-up citation: "I've always been an un-world-domination-istic fellow, but now I have these nukes. Things are looking up for old Liz Lemon!"

squidoluminescence

noun. I don't know what this is, but it sounds delicious.

Real citation: "@Wordie re: shrimpoluminescence, can we also say 'squidoluminescence'? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taningia_danae"
(March 10, 2010, Jeremy K, Twitter, http://twitter.com/trochee/statuses/10295381384)

Made-up citation: "I liked District 9. The squidoluminescence of those prawns really got to me. Or do I mean shrimpoluminescence? Man, I'd be a lousy luminescence-ologist."

ugh-why-am-I-here?-F-MY-LIFE-itude

noun. A quality found in just about everybody--except that guy.

Real citation: "Student receptionists are less-helpful versions of old lady receptionists w/ the added bonus of having an ugh-why-am-I-here?-F-MY-LIFE-itude"
(Nov. 13, 2009, Adam Tamez, Twitter, http://twitter.com/TheAdamT/statuses/5672847535)

Made-up citation: "When things go wrong, and my soul loses its floaties, drowning in a sea of ugh-why-am-I-here?-F-MY-LIFE-itude, I know what to do: Unfortunately, I can't divulge such information. Not without a cash deposit or signed picture of Christina Hendricks."

manwhore-iness

noun. The only despicable quality I cannot ascribe to your mom (so far).

Real citation: "@theJosephDrug Mwahaha. Now i dont feel soo alone anymore. You understand my manwhore-iness."
(Feb. 18, 2010, Nick Jonas, Twitter, http://twitter.com/DoubleOfNickJ/statuses/9270900913)

Made-up citation: "Elves love me for my manwhore-iness. Smurfs hate me for it. So that evens out."

Jay-Z-ification

noun. If not for this process, I think Beyonce would be dating me.

Real citation: "I've heard the word 'swagger' used to mean 'business pressence' three times today. This is the Jay-Z-ification of America."
(Feb. 23, 2010, Mitchell Morrison, Twitter, http://twitter.com/JOURNEYMAN335/statuses/9541622964)

Made-up citation: "Every time I initiate the Jay-Z-ification of my life, I end up setting off the Pee-wee-Herman-ifier. Blurgh."

plagiarize-iddly-izer

noun. A real word-thief-arino.

Real citation: "Howdy Tweeter-diddly-eeter-inos, I'm pissed at Nick simmons, for being a plagarize-iddly-izer."
(March 3, 2010, Jonathan Jamieson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/7jonny7doom7/statuses/9940454430)

Made-up citation: "A writing class without plagiarize-iddly-izers is like a spring day without a great dane peeing in your ear."

problemist-oriented

adj. In grad school, we just said problematic. But we were awful little frakwads, so what did we know?

Real citation: "Just saw 'solutionist-oriented' in a brand agency's Google copy. This is problemist-oriented."
(March 8, 2010, Nancy Friedman, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Fritinancy/status/10193610685)

Made-up citation: "My problem is I'm too problemist-oriented. I'm positive the volcano will explode, and I start drinking lava just in case."

dung-swaddled

adj. Swaddling isn't just for infants, you know.

Real citation: "To test the idea that horns help females compete more effectively, the researchers bred beetles in the lab and counted their offspring under a variety of circumstances. When females of different sizes had to compete for dung, the larger ones flourished while smaller ones produced very few dung-swaddled eggs. And when researchers paired females of about the same body size, those with proportionately heftier horns had more offspring."
(March 2, 2010, Susan Milius, "Rise of female weaponry driven by poop fights," Science Daily, http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/56846/title/Rise_of_female_weaponry_driven_by_poop_fights)

Made-up citation: "Do you prefer dung-swaddled bacon or bacon-swaddled dung? (Market research)."

comfort-gasmic

adj. Ahhhhh... Ohhhhhh.... Excuse me, could I get some privacy here?

Real citation: "Tempur-Pedic mattresses, while comfort-gasmic to lie on, would terrible for all activities sexual."
(Feb. 17, 2010, Edward Langstone, Twitter, http://twitter.com/fauxpasfestival/statuses/9256435427)

Made-up citation: "If the prisoners say your dungeon is comfort-gasmic, it might be time to renovate."

post-gastro-pocalypse

noun. The date of birth for most food babies.

Real citation: "Anybody want a pair of tickets to @dannymichel at Jane Bond tomorrow? Don't think we'll be up to going, post gastro-pocalypse, unfortunately"
(Feb. 13, 2010, Annie Bee, Twitter, http://twitter.com/AnnieBeeKnits/statuses/9055588237)

Made-up citation: "I wouldn't be much help in a post-gastro-pocalypse world--unless I bazooka-barfed the pain away. Then, anything is possible."

punctu-gression

noun. If you think improperly used semi-colons don't hurt anyone, try sticking one straight up your wang.

Real citation: "@DrObvious Tweet fighting would entail somethings called 'nimble finger tactics' and 'punctu-gression', I imagine. I really could be wrong."
(Feb. 14, 2010, Bree Hartwig, Twitter, http://twitter.com/breeSeliot/statuses/9089099110)

Made-up citation: "I have a real tendency toward punctu-gression. I once killed a man with only three commas and an em dash. And that man had a family!"

super-hero-ified

verb. It happened after Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider and Gilligan was sodomized by a medium-rare fish (the real origin of Aquaman).

Real citation: "Montana costume being super-hero-ified this very minute :)"
(Feb. 19, 2010, Hannah Livingstone, Twitter, http://twitter.com/weehaunds/statuses/9349977146)

Made-up citation: "Well, it's my birthday. Is it too much to ask that I be super-hero-ified too? Where's the radioactive petting zoo?"

deja-vu-istic

adj. Haven't I defined this word before?

Real citation: "processing panos again, this feels kind of deja-vu-istic."
(Feb. 13, 2010, Hil Long, Twitter, http://twitter.com/onejump/statuses/9047883355)

Made-up citation: "This is a deja-vu-istic day... These new hostages seem very familiar..."

Hayden Panetiwhateverthefuckhernameis

noun. I know she's a babe. That's about it. I knew I should have finished my degree in babe-ology.

Real citation: "The loathing that Emily has for Hayden Panetiwhateverthefuckhernameis is only rivaled by the hate I've seen professed against KStew"
(Feb. 22, 2010, Kristen Nicole, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Kristen_Arnett/status/9512205322)

Made-up citation: "I would ask Hayden Panetiwhateverthefuckhernameis to marry me, but I don't want to bring children into the world with the name Panetiwhateverthefuckhernameis-Peters. That's really the only thing stopping me."

plate-of-food-ometer

noun. A part of the brain that takes up a lot of real estate in my cerebellumajig.

Real citation: "#masterchef has just going and the plate-of-food-ometer is already registering several points!"
(Feb. 18, 2010, Jess Thomas, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Jess_Ra/statuses/9300247615)

Made-up citation: "My plate-of-food-ometer is going bananas! Where are you hiding the platter of bacon? Tell me and I'll give you those children back."

Beyonce-ologist

noun. A vocation I would gladly pursue, if not for the restraining order.

Real citation: "@ShanelleWithAnS OMG ok you Beyonce-ologist lmao"
(Feb. 15, 2010, Avery Younger, Twitter, link dead)

Made-up citation: "When I was but a lad, I dreamed of being a Beyonce-ologist. So how did I end up a goat-ball-licker/grad student/stable boy? Sigh."

butt-cation

noun. A vacation from your own ass? We all could use one.

Real citation: "so fucking ready for butt-cation. only 3 more shifts till washington!"
(Feb. 20, 2010, Rosa Zamora, Twitter, http://twitter.com/sabrosa505/statuses/9401956395)

Made-up citation: "I'm already planning my 2011 butt-cation. My ass is worn out, mainly because of your mom."

poo ex machina

noun phrase. The shittiest of all plot twists.

Real citation: "A weekly series, though, needs a story to go with its characters, and 'The Mentalist' is undone by the same poo ex machina storytelling that makes other CBS procedurals so unwatchable."
(Sept. 22, 2008, Glenn Garvin, Catholic Online, http://www.catholic.org/ae/movies/review.php?id=29563)

Made-up citation: "I didn't like the poo ex machina in Avatar. Isn't it convenient that a giant turd just happened to kill all the evil smurfs!"

nopey-derangey

adj. When hopey-changey just isn't batshit enough.

Real citation: "How's that 'Nopey-Derangey' think working for the Republicans today?"
(Feb. 25, 2010, Miles Kurland, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Malacandra/status/9634871521)

Made-up citation: "I take a nopey-derangey approach to parenthood. It's the only way to ensure my kids will grow up to be raving loons."

Shatner-Kirk syndrome

noun phrase. A condition...I think....you...may recognize...

Real citation: "Why can't....golf announcers speak in.....complete sentences. I think Kelly Tilghman has Shatner-Kirk syndrome."
(Feb. 21, 2010, Miranda Allen, Twitter, http://twitter.com/1MirandaAllen/statuses/9437825240)

Made-up citation: "I can imagine a lot, but I can't imagine Pee-wee Herman with Shatner-Kirk syndrome."

enormo-biscuit

noun. The Grand Poobah of West Biscuit-stan, as I learned in AP History. Or home ec. Or from that guy screaming by the side of the road.

Real citation: "Talking of which, how can there not be a single picture of the enormo-biscuit on the side of the McVities factory ANYWHERE on the internet?"
(Feb. 18, 2010, Nell Frizzell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/NellFrizzell/statuses/9284969705)

Made-up citation: "For a balanced breakfast, I order the enormo-biscuits and nano-pancakes."

dontfuckwithmyshit-ishness

noun. A quality rarely found in bunnies.

Real citation: "@Karoli yeah - it was classic HRC, classy but mildly dismissive and just a hint of aggressive dontfuckwithmyshit-ishness"
(Feb. 16, 2010, J.C. Lee, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jclee1230/statuses/9218686668)

Made-up citation: "I wish I had more dontfuckwithmyshit-ishness and not as much pleasepleasefuckwithmyshit-itude."

step-milfimpian

noun. A milfistic Olympian who may have, under her jurisdiction, a red-headed stepchild.

Real citation: "@JayOnrait I believe she's a step-milfimpian"
(Feb. 22, 2010, Jeff Sykes, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jeffsykes/status/9477390674)

Made-up citation: "Soon after Bill Simmons coined 'milfimpian,' the step-milfimpian evolved. Can the grand-milfimpian be next?"

bonkers-gasm

noun. A moment of joy, Cocoa Puffs, and--clinically speaking--insufficient sandwiches for a proper picnic.

Real citation: "Florence ft dizzeee = better than... wait for it... the bonkers-gasm"
(Feb. 18, 2010, Nathan Anthony Marsh, Twitter, http://twitter.com/NathanMarsh1991/statuses/9299048772)

Made-up citation: "I haven't had a bonkers-gasm in quite some time. My diet of alcohol, ether, and smurf brains must be working."

almost-osity

noun. Close-but-no-cigar-itude.

Real citation: "Gah. I'm almost done with my laundry. Like. So almost done that you can feel the almost-osity of the done-ness..!"
(Feb. 17, 2010, Kyle Dugan, Twitter, http://twitter.com/TheDugan2123/statuses/9226547314)

Made-up citation: "I'm very close to dating Christina Hendricks. I can feel the almost-osity. *huffs more glue*"

testosto-boy

noun. A man's man, full of beef and testicularity and dumbassitude. A loincloth may be present.

Real citation: "Commentator during women's ice hockey:"This is the women's event;there's not s'posed to be much violence."Excuse you?! Bite me,testosto-boy!"
(Feb. 15, 2010, Alex Sims, Twitter, http://twitter.com/AlextheFly/statuses/9162432503)

Made-up citation: "It's hard for a testosto-boy like me to date. I intimidate everyone with my muscles, my musk, and my moat. Plus, it's expensive hiring servants to pull the ball cart that supports my notorious nads."

aggrrttaaggrrttaaggrrtt

interjection. A far more manly and Wookie-y alternative to aaaaaiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!

Real citation: "I asked my Chewbacca Magic 8 Ball if I would have a good day. The answer: 'Aggrrttaaggrrttaaggrrtt.' No offense, but Chewie blows at this."
(Sept. 10, 2009, Crusty Juggler, Twitter, http://twitter.com/crustyjuggler72)

Made-up citation: "My bark is worse than my bite, but my aggrrttaaggrrttaaggrrtt is worse than either. It's even more repugnant than your mom."

insomniatwitteritis

noun. Too much Twitter... Too little sleep... And god damn it, who pooped the bed?

Real citation: "@sad19 lol! I think so...and the scientific name for it is 'insommniatwitteritis'.... :oD"
(Feb. 14, 2010, Lisa, Twitter, http://twitter.com/4030lisa/status/9119257323)

Made-up citation: "I never suffer from insomniatwitteritis. When I can't sleep, I sodomize a smurf--just as our forefathers intended."

hemi-demi-semi-god

noun. Hey, the gods can't all be Thor or Allah. Cut 'em some cosmic slack.

Real citation: "Are the grandchildren of demigods called hemi-demi-semi-gods?"
(Feb. 15, 2010, Andy Hollandbeck, Twitter, http://twitter.com/4ndyman/status/9154950839)

Made-up citation: "I send all my prayers to the hemi-demi-semi-god Al. He doesn't have much power, but at least he takes my calls--unlike that jackass Zeus."

Creepyguy-istan

noun. Not the best place to look for a date to the prom.

Real citation: "@sanasaleem She was involved with Zaid Hamid? Um, ew. Isn't he a citizen of creepyguy-istan?"
(Feb. 8, 2010, Naheed Mustafa, Twitter, http://twitter.com/NaheedMustafa/statuses/8812437048)

Made-up citation: "If you think your dude's never been to Creepyguy-istan, check his passport. About 74% of us were born there."

that's what she said-ology

noun. One of the most important fields of our time, along with aeronautical truthiness.

Real citation: "@lenariel i think @AniaJ191 needs schooled in 'That's what she said'-ology"
(Jan. 15, 2010, Erika, Twitter, http://twitter.com/25superstar/statuses/7811924944)

Made-up citation: "We'll never know which cavedude was the inventor of that's what she said-ology, after his loyal cavebuddy said, 'Ugh ook. Ook-ook. Ook oot ook!'"

no pants-edness

noun. Happy Valentine's Day!

Real citation: "Easter Island Head @stephenkruiser is bringing much joy on Planet Kruiser in 5 mins. RFCRadio.com. Enjoy the No Pants-edness of it all.#pkrs"
(Jan. 22, 2010, RFCPatel, Twitter, http://twitter.com/RFCPatel/statuses/8098176568)

Made-up citation: "I rather enjoy luxuriating in a state of utter no pants-edness. What have pants ever done for me? They're worse than pea soup."

preacher-splosion

noun. Oh my. Is that anything like a nun-tastrophe?

Real citation: "Today had a late preacher-splosion, but I used discipline to pull myself away #grudgingly"
(Feb. 5, 2010, pyrogenesis, Twitter, http://twitter.com/pyrogenesis/statuses/8693126900)

Made-up citation: "There are many victims for every preacher-splosion. Still, it makes God giggle, so what're you gonna do?"

nacho-cheese-and-beer-induced

adj. The cause of so many dire medical conditions and tragic toilet quagmires.

Real citation: "Not bloody likely. Either way, enjoy the nacho-cheese-and-beer-induced paralysis and have a happy Super Bowl Sunday, America!"
(Feb. 6, 2010, Heather Havrilesky, Salon, http://salon.com/life/super_bowl/index.html?story=/ent/tv/iltw/2010/02/06/super_bowl_alternatives)

Made-up citation: "Let me dispel a few religious myths right now. The virgin birth is bunk. So how did Mary get preggo? It was still a miracle: the miracle of the nacho-cheese-and-beer-induced pregnancy. The same thing happened to my sister."

out-transcendentalize

verb. A complex process that I am far too drunk to define.

Real citation: "@stefispice 'Dude. You can't out-transcendentalize me. You are one pansy-ass motherfucker.'-- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
(Feb. 9, 2010, Ally Paul, Twitter, http://twitter.com/aspaul/status/8877592683)

Made-up citation: "Free insult: 'Your mother couldn't out-transcendentalize a paper bag!' Hey, it's a first draft."

monster-istical

adj. Monster-y. Monster-ish. Monster-esque. Monster-o-logical.

Real citation: "@ladygaga http://twitpic.com/11firi - I love you GAGA. Your music is something magical. It's so monster-istical. From your Little Monster, W"
(Feb. 4, 2010, Walter V, Twitter, http://twitter.com/WafflesVee/statuses/8661074492)

Made-up citation: "Sometimes I feel so monster-istical... It makes me sad. Then I strangle hobos with my tentacles, and I cheer right up."

French toast-y-ish

adj. Oh, French toast! Is that you, after so many years and marriages?

Real citation: "@Plagu3 so... kinda french toast-y-ish? maybe? it sounds intriguing."
(Jan. 29, 2010, Iris, Twitter, http://twitter.com/bratcorenz/statuses/8389376601)

Made-up citation: "Sweetheart, is that a new perfume? Your French toast-y-ish aroma is driving me wild."

butthole-ectomy

noun. A precise procedure that renders the patient mercifully butthole-less.

Real citation: "@LexiChambers that sounds painful! Gives new meaning to 'anal retentive'! @PubChick u need a butthole-ectomy!"
(Feb. 2, 2010, Jenn Kleiner, Twitter, http://twitter.com/MistressPayton/statuses/8564923632)

Made-up citation: "Doctor! I was supposed to have a butthole-ectomy! You removed a jerkwad. I might need that jerkwad someday."

parking-space-hugging

adj. The opposite of tree-hugging, I reckon.

Real citation: "Trix says her Dad spotted this variation on the same theme while strolling through Portland, Oregon — 'a well-known haven for parking-space-hugging liberals.'"
(Jan. 31, 2010, PassiveAggressiveNotes.com, http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/01/31/when-parking-gets-political/)

Made-up citation: "'You parking-space-hugging hippie!' does not have a ring to it. Unlike the music of ABBA."

toe-ologist

noun. A trained expert in little-piggy-ology.

Real citation: "Thanks. I shall look for a toe-ologist."
(Feb. 3, 2010, Saphira, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ppheart/statuses/8581972483)

Made-up citation: "I wouldn't say I have a foot fetish. I much prefer the term 'toe-ologist,' as you can see from my business card."

can't-be-arsed-itude

noun. A quality somewhat low on gung-ho.

Real citation: "The extent of my can't-be-arsed-itude today is frankly staggering. Contended can't-be-arsed-itude, but can't-be-arsed-itude nonetheless :-D"
(Dec. 10, 2009, Libby Heighway, Twitter, http://twitter.com/soba_girl/statuses/6527101244)

Made-up citation: "About 86% of my brain consists of can't-be-arsed-itude. The rest is, chemically speaking, an old salami sandwich."

attractiveness-osity

noun. A quality I am certain I've found in Christina Hendricks, my life partner.

Real citation: "Watched 'my life as liz'...yeeeeah. Idk. Even her extremely attractiveness-osity couldn't keep me tuned in for a 2nd episode ha. =/"
(Jan. 24, 2010, Jairus Johnson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/JairusJohnson/statuses/8170476523)

Made-up citation: "I really enjoy attractiveness-osity. I like it so much more than repugnance-itude."

caterpillar-tastrophe

noun. Well, it beats a goliath-bird-eating-spider-tastrophe.

Real citation: "Today I need to start work on an Arsenal birthday cake. Hope I do alright with colouring this time and don't have a caterpillar-tastrophe"
(Jan. 27, 2010, Sarah Trivuncic, Twitter, http://twitter.com/MaisonCupcake/statuses/8272474648)

Made-up citation: "I don't know much about caterpillar-tastrophes, but I bet Gary Larson does. Where is he? We need him! I don't have nearly enough cow cartoons in my life."

spoof-a-rama-istic

adj. Sounds spoofy, but what do I know? I'm drunk.

Real citation: "@bettydraper add to your bio: spoof-a-rama-istic"
(Jan. 28, 2010, Mister Twister, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Mr_Twister_CLT/statuses/8348141118)

Made-up citation: "My new favorite show is Archer. It is spoof-a-rama-istic, filthy as dirty hell, and funny as anything I've seen. It makes me want to be a cartoon spy when I grow up."

Under-a-rock-istan

noun. A hard-to-find land, somewhere near Lower Buttmunchistan.

Real citation: "@Garfene I buy a newspaper to read news. Not to look at pretty ads or what's happening under-a-rock-istan. Separate the sections man! :P"
(Jan. 27, 2010, Sean A.J. Bennett, Twitter, http://twitter.com/dacoolkidsean/statuses/8308312820)

Made-up citation: "Be good, kids. Otherwise, your mom will send you to Under-a-rock-istan, where smurfs will set you on fire."

barbecue-splosion

noun. One of the greatest 'splosions of them all. I'm having a saliva-splosion just thinking about it.

Real citation: "@FreshGinger I ate this at Smokey Bones last week. It was like a barbecue-splosion in my mouth without all the fat. Nom nom nom nom."
(Jan. 27, 2010, Sara Metz, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Sara_Metz/statuses/8290840754)

Made-up citation: "I don't know how I'll die. I just hope, God willing, it isn't in a barbecue-splosion."

pineapple-tastic-ness

noun. Almost as delicious as Christina Hendricks-tastic-ness. She's my new girlfriend.

Real citation: "Q:Nawp, just moar pineapple-tastic-ness! *noms pineapple*... A:Can iz have some noms?"
(Jan. 26, 2010, Noelle Smith, Twitter, http://twitter.com/house_fan13/statuses/8264636824)

Made-up citation: "Where can I find an aftershave with pineapple-tastic-ness? God knows I don't ask for much!"

de-Prince-Charming-from-Shrek-ify

verb. Can't quite define this one... It just isn't specific enough.

Real citation: "Off to de-Prince-Charming-from-Shrek-ify my weave so @fuzztwin doesn't kill herself laughing at me. Only two days 'till I see @fuzztwin! :D"
(Jan. 26, 2010, Joel Birch, Twitter, http://twitter.com/joel_birch/statuses/8257112077)

Made-up citation: "How much would it cost to de-Prince-Charming-from-Shrek-ify my pubes? Hello? Hello? Mom? Hello?"

Girl-scout-cookie-pocalypse

noun. Of all the prophesied end times, this is the most delicious.

Real citation: "Another coworker brought Girl-scout-cookie-pocalypse. The damage: 1 lemon cream, 2 samoa, 2 tagalong, 1 thinmint"
(Jan. 21, 2010, Joseph Johnston, Twitter, http://twitter.com/JosephJohnston/statuses/8039805962)

Made-up citation: "There is no force on heaven or earth that can prevent Girl-scout-cookie-pocalypse! Nothing! I mean, maybe you could start going to the gym, but that's it."

snow-nannigans

noun. Snow-capades, perhaps with a side of winter-tastrophe.

Real citation: "With 11″ of snow on the ground, we set off on Saturday with a couple of sleds (thanks, Gerstle!) and had some snow-nannigans. Pictures were taken and now appear in the 2008.03.08 - Sledding! gallery."
(March 10, 2008, Ben Wilson, http://thelocust.org/blog/2008/03/10/red-lead-sled)

Made-up citation: "Compared to my hometown of Buffalo, Chicago has no snow-nannigans at all. Chicago is also less cursed by the gods, the devils, and the mystical trolls."

too many slashes syndrome

noun phrase. A condition I understand well, as the only exorcist/stable boy/sex therapist/armpit plucker in the tri-state area.

Real citation: "now he has what i like to call 'Too Many Slashes' syndrome... Producer/Rapper/Songwriter/Model/Actor/Designer/blah/blah/ Whoa! Chill Brotha!"
(Oct. 30, 2009, Edward Sanders, Jr., Twitter, http://twitter.com/PoetED/statuses/5302415181)

Made-up citation: "There's only one cure for too many slashes syndrome: slam your wang in the window. Hey, if Oprah says it, I'm not gonna argue."

ugh-splosion

noun. Ugh-gasm? Ugh-tastrophe? Ugh-ma-doodle?

Real citation: "@kirk13 With Bassinger and Kilmer? Ugh-splosion!"
(June 21, 2009, DZ of CD, Twitter, http://twitter.com/DZofCD/statuses/2274281471)

Made-up citation: "I don't know if I'm ready to start fiddling professionally again... Last time, the audience's ugh-splosions crushed my ego, and a groupie stole my fez."

Afghaniclusterfu**istan

noun. Jersey?

Real citation: "The Economist: Deeper in the mire: Afghaniclusterfu**istan http://flne.ws/22708611 on Fluent News"
(Jan. 20, 2010, ForMyNews, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ForMyNews/statuses/7998272189)

Made-up citation: "I'm thinking about planning a vacay in Afghaniclusterfu**istan. I also might go back on my meds."

housework-y-ish

adj. Hmm... This word feels Martha Stewart-y-ish. That's all I got.

Real citation: "going to go do something housework-y ish."
(Jan. 16, 2010, Darla Vaughan, Twitter, http://twitter.com/DarlaV/statuses/7828359077)

Made-up citation: "Rarely can I maintain any housework-y-ish momentum. In fact, this morning I was attacked in the shower by Cylons or mildew. I say Cylons. What were we talking about?"

asswipe-itude

noun. A quality found deep in the soul of all asswipes--and a few douchewads.

Real citation: "@palais1977 Indeed. His asswipe-itude even made his awesomeness possible in the first place last night."
(Jan. 15, 2010, Trey Irby, Twitter, http://twitter.com/treyirby/statuses/7795482781)

Made-up citation: "I'd love to date you, but you see, I have this...asswipe-itude. It's my curse. It's my legacy. It's my binkie."

Spinal-Tapezoidal

adj. May involve a cucumber wrapped in tin foil.

Real citation: "Potential #newsok enhancement: Chirpiness control for Wendy with Wimgo. Right now, she's got it up to a Spinal-Tapezoidal 11."
(Jan. 17, 2010, Charles G. Hill, Twitter, http://twitter.com/dustbury/status/7891370317)

Made-up citation: "Our marriage ended on the wedding night, after sweet Elizabeth described my johnson as 'Spinal-Tapezoidal,' while humming 'Stonehenge'..."

right-side-of-my-head-ectomy

noun. A pain reliever even less recommended than skinny dipping in lava.

Real citation: "migraine.. head hurt... can I get a right-side-of -my-head-ectomy"
(Jan. 13, 2010, Sean Reiser, Twitter, http://twitter.com/seanreiser/statuses/7707227153)

Made-up citation: "Please, Dr. Vargas, not the right-side-of-my-head-ectomy! Noooo! That's my good side! It holds all my memories of doing your mom."

spoon-ologist

noun. The mortal enemy of the fork-ologist.

Real citation: "@Jason_mraz: don't you have a spoon-ologist or something?"
(Jan. 8, 2010, Tommy Littlefoot, Twitter, http://twitter.com/tommylittlefoot/statuses/7535903089)

Made-up citation: "I almost became a spoon-ologist. That was before I found my true love: aeronautical spatulistics."

syrup-tastrophe

noun. The greatest hazard of a pancake-ful life.

Real citation: "Just got an e-mail saying @Brueggers has the maple & sausage bagel again. *dies from maple-related syrup-tastrophe*"
(Jan. 5, 2010, Erin, Twitter, http://twitter.com/one_of_three/statuses/7417614213)

Made-up citation: "I lived through a horrific syrup-tastrophe on my sixth birthday. I haven't been able to look at Mrs. Butterworth since."

cross-Conan-ization

noun. Warning: don't try it with the barbarian.

Real citation: "It'll be the Irish Conan guy vs the Scottish Conan guy. I wonder if there will be any cross-Conan-ization before he takes over the Tonight Show..."
(April 23, 2009, Digg, http://digg.com/comedy/Craig_Ferguson_a_black_man_a_submissive_and_sock_puppets)

Made-up citation: "I guess cross-Conan-ization failed... I did think it was odd when he showed up in my bathroom."

action-hero-ification

noun. Rambo 'em up!

Real citation: "All of my concerns about the action-hero-ification of Sherlock Holmes in the new movie were for naught. It...was...brilliant."
(Jan. 4, 2010, Jer, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Jer_/statuses/7390420325)

Made-up citation: "The action-hero-ification of my life is complete. The criminal scum/rubber duckies are terrified!"

convention-ma-bob

noun. It's a convention. Or is it? Maybe it's a centaur.

Real citation: "jan 23. gone perform wit @deeITgurl at da celebrity convention-ma-bob- more details later, i cant wait !"
(Jan. 8, 2010, RudeBoipharaoh, Twitter, http://twitter.com/RudeBoipharaoh/statuses/7528960183)

Made-up citation: "I think I want to go to a Big Lebowski convention-ma-bob. I just need to get my bowling ball back from my S&M-obsessed gran-gran."

offensivizzle

adj. Definition removed for offensivizzleness.

Real citation: "Michael Steele has asked Harry 'Negro' Reid to step down, saying 'his words were offensivizzle.'"
(Jan. 10, 2010, Avery Edison, Twitter, http://twitter.com/aedison/status/7602201954)

Made-up citation: "My goals: get a moat, eat a bear, and convince Sharon to include 'offensivizzle' in our wedding vows."

snooze-osity

noun. Zzzzzzzzzzz-itude.

Real citation: "Fie on you, comfy couch, for this base and unexpected betrayal of snooze-osity!"
(Jan. 5, 2009, Scott James Magner, Twitter, http://twitter.com/BhagwanX/statuses/7400191129)

Made-up citation: "At this point in my life, I can't think of anything I'd like to do all night besides engage in rampant snooze-osity. Sex? Please. You have sex all night, and I'll dream about it."

devil-child-ish-ness

noun. A quality found only in the very young/unholy.

Real citation: "@andromz @jencember I did know that, I DO read MLIA. This was just me in a state of devil-child-ish-ness."
(Nov. 13, 2009, almaasi, Twitter, http://twitter.com/almaasi/statuses/5676208147)

Made-up citation: "Orphans! Get your farm-fresh orphans here! No refunds for devil-child-ish-ness."

re-purple-izing

verb. A colorful process that does not involve a purple-headed womb broom. So get your head out of the gutter and put a Bible in it.

Real citation: "Re-purple-izing my hair and giving myself a mani/pedi. It's a pamper May afternoon."
(Nov. 29, 2009, maybear25, Twitter, http://twitter.com/maybear25/statuses/6182686992)

Made-up citation: "Re-purple-izing Barney every two weeks is probably the toughest part of the cartoon industry. Stun-gunning that dino-bastard isn't as easy as it looks."

phallotastic

adj. Boneriffic.

Real citation: "Second, let's talk about Halloween! It's a scant six months away, and time to start planning the huge mondo spectacular ginormous huge phallotastic AVITABLE HALLOWEEN PARTY 2008!"
(May 13, 2008, Avitable, http://www.avitable.com/2008/05/13/too-early-for-halloween/)

Made-up citation: "Why are so many monuments morbidly phallotastic? Let me consult my enormous johnson and get back to you on that."

cowboy-iest

adj. If you thought "cowboy" and "cowboy-ier" were cowboy-y, think again.

Real citation: "i saw the cowboy-iest cowboy ever today. he had everything but the horse in the store."
(Nov. 21, 2009, Tasha Vanderpool, Twitter, http://twitter.com/asteadyriot/statuses/5938138783)

Made-up citation: "1997 was the cowboy-iest year of my life. That's the year I learned what kind of magic can happen behind a haystack when the rodeo's in town."

chesthair-itude

noun. May involve a chest afro--a very hip look these days in other solar systems.

Real citation: "@ActuallyNPH Penn need to un-button one more shirt button for maximum chesthair-itude and pec-osity."
(Nov. 24, 2009, Geoff Kass, Twitter, http://twitter.com/checkedbaggage/statuses/6012855735)

Made-up citation: "This guy at the used clothes store had such insane chesthair-itude spilling out of his shirt that I was scared, as if a bear were about to maul my children. Yeeps."

Made-up-name-a-stani

adj. I can really respect this culture, especially now that I changed my name to Mark Supreme-Leader-ski.

Real citation: "What ethnicity is Benatar? I'm gonna go with Made-up-name-a-stani."
(Nov. 28, 2009, Dan Cronin, Twitter, http://twitter.com/croninwhocares/status/6135537642)

Made-up citation: "Let us celebrate the Made-up-name-a-stani people, especially the tribe of Brick Tamland."

Theravodka

noun. A cure for what ails ya and a healthy breakfast.

Real citation: "Theraflu would go down easier with some theravodka."
(Dec. 12, 2009, Stephanie Sparer, Twitter, http://twitter.com/stefispice/status/6616751351)

Made-up citation: "Don't bring Theravodka to a Theracrackpipe party."

glitzy-glammy-artdeco-y

adj. Somewhere in the neighborhood of glam-trashtastic.

Real citation: "@acidcherry wait til you see The Skirt. it's awesome. we designed it together, very glitzy-glammy-artdeco-y"
(Dec. 28, 2009, Amanda Palmer, Twitter, http://twitter.com/amandapalmer/status/7144247475)

Made-up citation: "Very little of my wardrobe could be considered glitzy-glammy-artdeco-y, except maybe my glow-in-the-dark Mr. Rogers sweater."

pre-undiebomber

adj. Signifying a lost era, sometime after the days of yore yet before some moron hid explosives next to his junk.

Real citation: "@ginatrapani Flew MDW to BWI Monday night, no changes noted from the pre-undiebomber flight in the other direction. Except the jokes. ;)"
(Dec. 30, 2009, Brian Wolven, Twitter, http://twitter.com/brianwolven/statuses/7188808626)

Made-up citation: "Pre-undiebomber, the 30 Rock joke about freedom searching was pretty funny.... And now? Next time I travel, I'm leaving the family jewels at home."

cereal-gasmic

adj. Oh Cocoa Puffs... No one gets under my undies quite like you.

Real citation: "@RachelDashae sounds cereal-gasmic :D"
(Dec. 29, 2009, kollinbliss, Twitter, http://twitter.com/kollinbliss/statuses/7170087746)

Made-up citation: "In the history of humanity, no fictional character was more cereal-gasmic than Jerry Seinfeld."

Vic Mackey-ing

verb. Forceful action, bearing little resemblance to the process known as "Mother Theresa-ing".

Real citation: "If I had friends who watched The Shield, we’d probably have an inside joke—a phrase, maybe, wherein we’d say that one could 'Vic Mackey' something. Vic Mackey-ing something would involve the commandeering or confiscating of an object by force, though not necessarily by the violent means which said character generally resorts to on the show, and almost certainly with less brutalizing of minorities."
(Jan. 18, 2006, Chris Nelson, Stylus, http://www.stylusmagazine.com/articles/tv_nation/the-shield.htm)

Made-up citation: "As of this moment, I am Vic Mackey-ing the bathtub. These rubber duckies just can't handle the freedom."