beer-bestanked

adj. Beer-scented.

Real citation: "One other thing martinis have in their favor, as I hinted about above, is the Adult Factor. You're not likely to get some drunken mook hitting on your lady friend (or two-bit tramp hitting on your fella) if everyone's daintily hoisting a martini glass. The atmosphere helps, too: soft light, Art Deco décor and subtle sconces make you feel a little better about downing a few cocktails than a beer-bestanked, dimly lit basement bar. Sinatra takes precedence over Sublime and the latest from So So Def. To boot, you're much less likely to be outed as an alkie."
(Timothy C. Davis, Feb. 7, 2007, Chocablog,
http://charlotte.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A128340)

Made-up citation: "Beer-bestanked buxom bong bonanza blast! Beware, bucko!"

Costanzaness

noun. Look deep into the eyes of George Costanza, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "I absolutely can’t believe how bad a week I had; it has been nothing but total Costanzaness."
(May 22, 2006, The Snob Log, http://thesnoblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/for-i-am-blitzkrieg-lord-of-idiots_22.html)

Made-up citation: "Researchers are trying to determine if Costanzaness is a universal condition, like incompetence and herpes."

fartageddon

noun. A gas attack of apocalyptic proportions; may be a sign the Rapture is nigh.

Real citation: "YOU ARE ALL DOOMED - NOBODY ESCAPES THE SUICIDE ASS BOMBER! You have been warned - push me one step further and....
BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!
welcome to FARTAGEDDON
There can be no survivors"
(April 29, 2004, http://www.viperalley.com/forum/anything-goes/20126-personal-threat-everyone.html)

Made-up citation: "The medical term for your condition is fartageddon. Please leave."

shit-nuts-itude

noun. A close relative of batshititude and bugfuckery.

Real citation: "when groups you would think would be big supporters start publicly outing your shit-nuts-titude... you should know there is a problem with what you are doing. well. if you were in fact sane."
(Sept. 26, 2006, http://kotaku.com/xml/comments/202894)

Made-up citation: "Michael Chiklis deserves another Emmy for his portrayal of Vic Mackey's ever-growing shit-nuts-itude on The Shield."

unbloodified

adj. Pristine and hemorrhage-free.

Real citation: "I wish Sakura would hurry up and get unbloodified ~o~;; Filling in the black streaks in her hair is a royal pain in the ***."
(Celesse, Nov. 13, 2006, http://www.capturedwings.net/forums/index.php?topic=2682.180)

Made-up citation: "My clothes are unbloodified and citrusy, thanks to Wisk."

feeder-fetish-tastic

adj. Mmm...food-and-sex-gasmic.

Real citation: "It is good, really, providing you don't pay too much attention to the lyrics. It does have to be heard to be believed though. Especially the feeder-fetish-tastic refrain "feed me feed me feed me" at the end. Not Raphael Saadiq's finest moment, it has to be said"
(Pop Boy, April 28, 2006, http://indiegirlandpopboy.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "It's hard to lose weight when you're a full-figured, feeder-fetish-tastic fella like myself."

woohooery

noun. There is much woohoo going on. Sometimes, that means sex.

Related terms: woohooage.

Real citation: "This does not mean Swinging on a Star will become a wretched hive of gore and woohooery, just that if in the future I want to show pictures of, say, a robbery, I will have the option to show an officer taking a bullet without worrying about the impact this may have on a child/sensitive person."
(Devilfish, Feb. 6, 2007, Swinging on a Star, http://magiluna.com/?page_id=61)

Made-up citation: "If I could get through one fucking week without allergies or a cold, there would be much woohooery in my world."

metric monkeyload

noun. A bit larger than a metric monkey-poo-load.

Related terms: metric buttload, metric assload, metric arseload, metric heinie-load, metric bootyload, metric poop-load, metric poo-load, metric shitload, metric crapload, metric turdload, metric fuckload, metric boatload, metric truckload, metric smurfload, metric cuntload, metric dickload, metric cockload, metric pantload, metric pantsload, metric jesus-load.

Real citation: "Looking at my Netflix Queue right now, I have about a metric monkeyload of Saiyuki to wade through before I get anything else. Maybe... I should give Sanzo less priority."
(May 12, 2006, http://the-z.livejournal.com/694096.html?thread=2725968)

Made-up citation: "My age? Somewhere between 28 and a metric monkeyload."

fundie-Jeebus-y

adj. If you speak in tongues, look forward to the apocalypse, and say "heaven-o" instead of "hello," this might apply to you.

Related terms: Jesus-y, Jeebus-y, most-Jeebusy.

Real citation: "Watching a progressive Christian tie themselves in knots trying to defend their faith while not coming across all fundie-Jeebus-y can be particularly entertaining, but the well-being of the nation isn't at stake, so it lacks a certain immediacy."
(Jan. 11, 2007, http://www2.blogger.com/feeds/6204183/posts/default?start-index=26&max-results=25)

Made-up citation: "When life gets higgledy-piggledy--and there's no rumpy-pumpy--I get fundie-Jeebus-y."

dumbfuckosaurus

noun. The primordial dumbfuck from which we are descended.

Real citation: "omg Xplod. Looks like Dino's are still walking around ay Xplod u dumbfuckosaurus."
(Oct 28, 2003, http://www.nzgames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53165&pp=40&highlight=dinosaurs)

Made-up citation: "The dumbfuckosaurus is strong and roams the earth in marauding hordes. Even a meteor couldn't wipe out this shit-for-brains, say meteorologists."

low-self-esteemish

adj. I'm bad, Jesus. Kind of.

Real citation: "Key concept: The opposite of "friend" is not "jerk." Lots of guys ask me "why women date only jerks" -- or why, when they try to be a jerk, they still don't get laid. Come on, you guys: men date jerks too (male and female). It's not necessarily a gender thing; it's a stupid human trick. It's something we all do when we're feeling all low-self-esteemish, desperate, or undeserving of anyone warmer than the Great Santini. (Also, everybody, check your perspective: are all those "jerks" out there really bad people, or are they just "jerks" 'cause they got your girl?)"
(March 23, 1998, http://www.breakupgirl.net/advice/980323/980323.html)

Made-up citation: "Read my new book: Girls are Low-self-esteemish; Boys are Serial-killer-y."

massengillosity

noun. 1) Douche-osity. 2) Douchebag-osity. 3) Douche-commercial-osity.

Real citation: "He pointedly and publically boycotted the event, handed out a two-year old Dallas Morning News editorial which vaguely outlined something “troubling” about the cleric in question and THEN, in a stunning moment of massengillosity, he utilized personal privilege in order to end the Senate session by spouting bullshit about tolerance while smugly, condescendingly reminding us all that we are lucky to be here in Amreeka, where we’re free."
(Anna, April 5, 2007, Sepia Mutiny, http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/004312.html)

Made-up citation: "In film school, my independent study--Milestones in Massengillosity--forever changed my directing style."

simperiffic

adj. Craven and whiny and so sad.

Real citation: "Just because Steve C. won't update his blog is no reason for you two simps to keep simp-simp-simpering your simperiffic drivel on every website you can find that's vaguely related to the University of Idaho."
(dr. q, Feb. 5, 2007, http://myownpublicidaho.blogspot.com/2007/02/anything-other-than-academic-writing.html)

Made-up citation: "When he hears the buzzer, my dog goes into full-blown simperiffic mode, praying to the grabass gods that the visitor is his friend Jed."

Kidmanoxed

adj. Botoxed like Nicole Kidman would do it.

Real citation: "With her frozen Kidmanoxed face I can't tell if she's happy/sad/in pain."
(secretagentman, "03-16: "One of Us" 2007.04.11," April 12, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3152979&view=findpost&p=7593134)

Made-up citation: "A brutally Kidmanoxed kisser is a sign of recent plastic surgery and seven neurological disorders."

moronatron

noun. A super-deluxe Acme moron.

Real citation: "youre a damned moronatron ya know that?"
(April 27, 2005, http://www.holyzoo.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-28.html)

Made-up citation: "Can a moronatron and a fembot reproduce?"

Whackjobistan

noun. The homeland of Commander Cuckoo-Bananas and Count Crackula.

Related terms: Fucknutistan, Wingnutistan, Batshitistan.

Real citation: "Spinoza--anywhere near Whackjobistan?"
(Sallyh, Feb. 4, 2006, http://www.haloscan.com/comments/atrios/113911351884241633/)

Made-up citation: "I'm taking a summer vacation in Whackjobistan to get to know my roots: I'm half-German, half-Whackjobistani."

messiahlicious

adj. Tastes like savior.

Real citation: "Mmmm, messiahlicious..."
(jimtron, Dec. 29, 2005, http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=49539&page=2)

Made-up citation: "Try our messiahlicious marmalade meat pies."

pre-douchebaggery

adj. Douchebags aren't made in a day, you know.

Real citation: "then i was walking around in like the strange part of town with some blue road-esque cabins, and ted and i came across all kinds of old friends, like howard crane and bill wright and adam moutafis (pre-douchebaggery i guess because we were chatting away with him like he was a decent kid)."
(mrs. helen victoria sadiwnyk, Aug. 22, 2006, http://porcelina37.livejournal.com/115321.html?thread=142969)

Made-up citation: "To find the pre-douchebaggery period of some people, you have to go back to preschool."

man-on-me

adj. Hello! There's a dude.

Real citation: "She has some fairly powerful abandonment issues, and apparently her man-on-me fantasies have become thoroughly entangled with her fears that I will cheat on her with some dude."
(April 11, 2007, Savage Love, http://www.metrotimes.com/editorial/story.asp?id=10385)

Made-up citation: "Few wives want to hear the word 'man-on-me' in their husband's wedding vows or sleeptalking monologues."

Beavis and Buttheadification

noun. A process that will eventually reduce the English language to "assmunch," "buttmunch," "bunghole," "fart-knocker," and "Are you threatening me?"

Real citation: "Aside from providing fleeting amusement, the Beavis and Buttheadification of music is a far cry from the pioneering efforts of most new genres."
(Jan. 21, 2005, USA Today, http://www.usatoday.com/community/chat/2001-04-24-barnes.htm)

Made-up citation: "I'm onboard with the Beavis and Buttheadification of just about anything. And that's why I'll be your next President."

fuckadocious

adj. Because the world didn't have enough variations of "fuck."

Real citation: "So... I finally lost my Philly V-card last night at the Drexel show. People were always saying that when the Roots play Philly, WATCH OUT --- everyone and their baby's mama roll out of the wood work trying to score tickets. On my end of things, the night went smoothly, but my advantage lies in the fact that no one has any idea who I am. As far as people think I am the fuckadocious (other nother) white girl with a mohawk just trying to jock the band and get autographs. Little do they know... Muah... Egg-cellent..."
(Sarah D, May 17, 2004, http://www.okayplayer.com/journals/okptour2004/gtg/000299.html)

Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a fuckadocious witness.'"

spatulagasm

noun. Mmm...some utensils are better than others.

Real citation: "Friction + Pancakes = Spatulagasm"
(http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:eNsWpwqx3FMJ:profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendid%3D7563051+spatulagasm&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Every time I eat Swedish pancakes, I have a spatulagasm. And I don't care who knows."

quasi-fetishy

adj. Kinda sorta perv-like.

Real citation: "meh, i can see how some of it could be perceived as quasi-fetishy... but then i wouldn't exactly call myself a "seasoned fetishist" either... :("
(lillysdoll, July 12, 2006, http://porphyre.livejournal.com/508136.html)

Made-up citation: "My healthy interest in women's fingernails is quasi-fetishy. That, or totally lame."

non-sleazoid

adj. Fine, upstanding, decent, and pure--with little to no sleaze factor.

Real citation: "The company now has a chance to attract more big-time, blue-chip, non-sleazoid marketing organizations. I'll bet some PayPerPost honchos are shaking in their boots right now, but I really believe they'll earn more by taking the high road."
(Dec. 20, 2006, http://robertrosenthal.typepad.com/blog/2006/12/this_blog_entry.html#trackback)

Made-up citation: "In video stores, 'Sleazoid or non-sleazoid?' is as essential a question as 'Paper or plastic?' and 'Soup or salad?'"

pissing-offage

noun. Anger! Rage! Perturbation! Someone is chagrinned.

Real citation: "A good pissing-offage early in the morning"
(Jan. 7, 2005, http://stuffyoushouldknow.blogspot.com/2005/01/good-pissing-offage-early-in-morning.html)

Made-up citation: "A pissing-offage is preferable to a pissing-onage, unless romance is involved."

Captain Cuckoopants

noun. Brigadier Batshit.

Real citation: "Okay, now my second big HA! moment: Locke killing Patchy. C'mon, how awesome was that?! I heart the Captain Cuckoopants side of Locke. It reminds me of the orange peel scene from the pilot and how I was convinced!!1!!1 that Locke was going to be a Godfather-type and split the Losties into a Island cult/crazy-paste eating group and a "rational" camp (led by Jack). But I digress! =P"
(WalkingDisaster, March 15, 2007, http://www.rawkhands.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14&start=255&sid=3792c9566c031d65cb978e19137c5306)

Made-up citation: "There are a lot of Captain Cuckoopants in my family--enough to staff an enormous military-industrial ministry of nutso bugfuckery."

semi-spoiledish

adj. Somewhat marred, blemished, damaged, flawed, or ruined--but only a smidge.

Real citation: "P.S. hopefully I didn't rub anyone the wrong way with my semi-spoiledish outlook on Macworld."
(macdood13, Dec. 14, 2006, http://forum.maccast.com/index.php?showtopic=10638)

Made-up citation: "Why do I always end up semi-spoiledish for Battlestar Galactica finales? Damn you, Internet!"

crapamajig

noun. A doohickey that may be crap-diddly-crap-crap.

Real citation: "Dammit it's been a fuckin' grip since I've posted anything or wrote a journal crapamajig!! Not that anyone would bother to give a rat's right nutsac to read - but meh. LOL"
(Vanessa, June 28, 2006, http://greyrequiem.deviantart.com/journal/?&offset=5)

Made-up citation: "I'm not handy. I can't fix any crapamajigs."

dejesusify

verb. To remove all things Jesus-y (or Jeebus-y).

Real citation: "Still, I'll throw you a bone. I think some of the attempts to deJesusify Christmas are ridiculous as well. It is the major holiday of the majority religion and it is silly to pretend it isn't. Still, I'll throw you a bone. I think some of the attempts to deJesusify Christmas are ridiculous as well. It is the major holiday of the majority religion and it is silly to pretend it isn't."
(June 14, 2005, http://www.haloscan.com/comments/radicalruss/111852527915749815/)

Made-up citation: "After a priest transforms the bread and wine, can a Satanist dejesusify them?"

bungholicious

adj. Mmmm...TP for my bunghole!

Real citation: "Macaroni. I prefer the Kraft in a box kind, smothered in delicious pepper and tabasco. Bungholicious!"
(Nov. 18, 2005, http://www.mouseinfo.com/forums/archive/index.php?t-29200.html)

Made-up citation: "Words to leave off your new restaurant's menu: toe cheese, rat, bungholicious, syphilis, swamp monkey."

mothersmegger

noun. A PG-rated--though gross--motherfucker.

Real citation: "Listen here, you smegging smegged up mothersmegger. I'm not going to take this kinda of smeg, got it smegger? So why don't you take your smeg and smegg it up your smeg, you smeg of a smegging smegger."
(KrazyTwister, Oct. 9, 2004, http://z1.invisionfree.com/forums/Zentrotem_Wars_Board/index.php?showtopic=54&st=75)

Made-up citation: "Who's more of a geek: A mothersmegger, motherfreller, or motherfraker?"

kidnapperess

noun. A kidnapper of the female-ier sex.

Real citation: "If you must do this, I do endorse an attractive young woman as a kidnapperess, though preferably one that doesn't want you to write a book."
(GhostWolf69, Aug. 9, 2005, http://www.forumplanet.com/planetneverwinter/topic.asp?fid=6460&tid=1720068)

Made-up citation: "As a child, I fell in love with my kidnapperess, who was much hotter than the nanny."

unidiotness

noun. Someone's using the old thinkbone.

Real citation: "if the idiot user then manages to read through the manpage for rm and finds out that the argument r makes rm remove directories as well and the argument f makes it not ask any more i am going to congratulate him for his ultimate unidiotness."
(timonator, June 12, 2006, http://forums.introversion.co.uk/introversion/defcon/viewtopic.php?p=4700)

Made-up citation: "Whoever the next President is, I have high hopes for reasonable levels of unidiotness."

missing-the-pointitude

noun. What happens when someone dodges all things pointy.

Real citation: "and of course the film aspect of the festival is also generally overshadowed by the insane hubbub that surrounds it to the point where you wonder if anyone even really thinks of it as a film festival anymore. one example of extreme missing-the-pointitude: the french city is thronged (or is it... thonged?) each year with young girls who plan hairdos, outfits and strategies for months leading up to the festival so they can 'casually' walk past yachts and whore their way into celebrity parties in hopes of being 'discovered.'"
(May 28, 2006, http://ztransmissions.blogspot.com/2006_05_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "Missing-the-pointitude is not one of the seven deadly sins, but it is one of several annoying goddamn faults."

assnutface

noun. An assface--with nuts.

Real citation: "There was no indication that it was the 1st gen until w00t posted the link, assnutface."
(Wheelman, http://www.supercars.net/PitLane?viewThread=true&bottom=10&gID=4&fID=0&tID=115490)

Made-up citation: "The assnutface on my street who destroyed a bike he was trying to steal may not qualify as an evil genius."

scrotumette

noun. Ew.

Real citation: "walking back home from the market, i had to reach down and start into my bag of dried figs. a favorite chinese discovery. these delicacies are the size of a spinning nickel only closer in shape to a hershey's kiss before impact. and really resembling more of a scrotumette, which apparently does not phase me one morsel."
(May 5, 2004, http://solarlab.diaryland.com/stormeye.html)

Made-up citation: "You're not even a scrotum. You're a miserable, passive-aggressive, dried-up scrotumette, and thank Zeus we didn't have any kids."

douche-toolish

adj. Kind of a tool, kind of a douche.

Real citation: "The resulting apoplexy of douche-toolish self-obsession -- too many egos, too small a space, Romo quoting himself, Gaius being all writer guy now, Angeli doing a bang-up job as usual -- causes the entire episode to run backwards from itself and then explode at the very beginning, like it never happened."
(Jacob, "The Son Also Rises," Television Without Pity, page 20, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/articles/content/a12902/index-19.html)

Made-up citation: "Half of good teaching is just being non-douche-toolish."

non-splodey

adj. Safe as houses that don't go kerplooey.

Related terms: non-explodey.

Real citation: "So to yourself, keep your head non-splodey, have Mr. Frank give you a nice rubdown, and calm down. We need you coherently righteous for the 2012 elections."
(shimauma, Sept. 20, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:_U4E6wa0W3YJ:www.imao.us/cgi-bin/monkeystuff.cgi%3Fentry_id%3D6245+%22non-splodey%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Staying away from spicy food makes for a non-splodey ass, says my doctor."

boogerfy

verb. To carry out the hands-on boogerfication process.

Real citation: "Is it child abuse to make sure that the don't create noise pollution and/or boogerfy everthing...? Yeah, I guess pulling it off would hurt. Can somebody please make a kid-muzzle?"
(Jan. 30, 2005, The Pissed Kitty Cometh, http://thepissedkittycometh.blogspot.com/2005_01_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "As a kid, I never knew what to say at confession, so I usually copped to some coveting and boogerfying."

robo-stroke

verb. Some strokes are less fleshy than others.

Real citation: "Hillary thinks we're all stupid and that if we're robo-stroked often enough by her poll-generated paeans, we’ll pull the lever for her."
(Matt Taibbi, "Don't Ask Hillary About Gay Rights -- She Won't Tell," March 14, 2007, Alternet, http://www.alternet.org/columnists/story/49251/)

Made-up citation: "In the future, 'robo-stroke' will take on at least six distinct meanings, only two of which will be sleazebot-related."

concubine-tastic

adj. Looking for concubines and other harem-licious delights? Look no further.

Real citation: "[The Throne Room of the Harem in the Palace in Istanbul. Concubine-tastic...]"
(http://www.anchovy.durge.org/holiday/Europe/22-7.live)

Made-up citation: "The search for the most concubine-tastic quote of the year is over."

rat bleeper

noun. A ratfucker the whole family can enjoy.

Real citation: "Trixie Trischitta remained incommunicado yesterday, but that's OK, because his old co-workers at Avis Rent-a-Car in West Newton surely have a lot to say about their old pal.
'That fat, bleepin' rat bleeper,' said one guy calling from Waltham. 'He got me fired back in '72.'"
(Feb. 26, 1999, Boston Herald, http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-57107093.html)

Made-up citation: "On the inside, we're all rat bleepers, according to Dr. Phil."

meth goggles

noun. The unique worldview imparted on those lucky few who see the world through crystal-meth-colored glasses.

Related terms: vodka goggles, wine goggles, rum and Coke goggles, Long Island Iced Tea goggles, weed goggles, heroin goggles, crack goggles, grain alcohol goggles.

Real citation: "I've done some immoral shit in my life but the worst acts occurred during a phase in which beer goggles had nothing on meth goggles."
(Chester, Feb. 16, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:M9iW10SbpPQJ:ruthlessforum.com/viewtopic.php%3Fp%3D425600%26sid%3D6e0eadf2d07ab7c53d2552d103d392f5+%22meth+goggles%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Don't confuse meth goggles with protective eyewear: one has to do with dating, the other with a Beavis and Butt-head lab."

fembotization

noun. In the future, we will all be sultry, deadly robots with feminine charms.

Real citation: "That's why the current trend of teen-age girls getting boob jobs is so sad.
I'm not down with the Fembotization of the world."
(Aug. 10, 2005, http://lawrenkmills.mu.nu/archives/111156.php)

Made-up citation: "My presidential platform is consistent: I'm pro-life, pro-family, pro-fembotization, pro-immigration."

crapportunity

noun. A crapfestacular opportunity.

Real citation: "I say that the "Curly W" logo of the Nats is a symbol with two simultaneous meanings -- for "crap" but also for "opportunity": If you will, "crapportunity."
(Dan Shanoff, March 16, 2007, Deadspin, http://deadspin.com/sports/baseball/baseball-season-preview-washington-nationals-244758.php)

Made-up citation: "Seize the crapportunity, kids. It's as easy as shitting the bed."

roommate-cest

noun. A less genetically dubious--yet still unadvisable--form of incest.

Real citation: "Are we talking about roommate-cest here? Bad idea buddy, really bad idea."
(zesovietrussian, Dec. 14, 2005, http://www.geekculture.com/ultimatebb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=7;t=000128)

Made-up citation: "Roommate-cest won't produce any web-footed infants, but paying the cable bill may become an issue when the romance fades."

boogerbutthead

noun. A boogery butthead? A heady boogerbutt? You make the call.

Real citation: "red is a boogerbutthead ;o ^"
(kiwiix33, Aug. 21, 2007, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:DLfZahW9a3UJ:www.questlife.net/forum/archive/index.php%3Ft-1018.html+boogerbutthead&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Modern humans are descended from Neanderthals and bonobos, as well as many other banana-eating boogerbuttheads."

churchgasm

noun. An orgasmic experience--with pews.

Real citation: "so edith was having a churchgasm diring service, during her annual chirch masterbation period. THUS in conclusion. I hate church and -NOTHING- will change that. =]"
(Gracie, Nov. 12, 2006, http://www.melodramatic.com/users/squisheh/%E2%99%A5Bad%20Times~xx/0)

Made-up citation: "All U.S. politicians are required to produce believable, toe-curling churchgasms--because this country is cuckoo-bananas."

bedoofused

adj. An elegant, almost Shakespearian alternative to “doofusistic.”

Real citation: "I seem to remember Mark posting about surgically splicing some X-Box controller to work as a USB device once upon a time, so maybe he will regail us with his exploits of Computer Science genius while me and my penguin look on in bedoofused discombobulation."
(Shabba-doo, May 20, 2004, http://www.bad-candy.com/mb/viewtopic.php?p=37834&sid=222792ecf8d9fc6e193020ec874bd2d3)

Made-up citation: "To stand bedoofused in the morning air really sucks."

plookload

noun. In the lingo of Frank Zappa, a fuckload. Not part of the metric system.

Real citation: "Damn, there seems to be a plookload of new people." (Blandy Buchanan, Sept. 11, 2006, http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=84111&page=468)

Made-up citation: "Thank ye for thy bountiful plookload!"

God on a blue surfboard

idiom. A close relative of "Mother Theresa on a motorbike."

Real citation: "Cally...normally, I try to be civilized and not make the obvious jokes about a character I don't like, and an actress I'm afraid isn't quite up to the job. But not tonight. The acting? Stank on ice. And Cally, within the story? Needs dieing. Stat. Christ I hate her. God on a blue surfboard, I hate her."
(Kaffyr, "3-18: "The Son Also Rises" 2007.03.11," March 12, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3152128&view=findpost&p=7362563)

Made-up citation: "God on a blue surfboard! I'm a fan of Swedish pancakes."

betrayal-y

adj. Et tu, buttmunch?

Real citation: "82.37 cups of betrayal-y goodness."
(July 21, 2006, http://fallingupstairs.wordpress.com/tag/random/)

Made-up citation: "Is that your destiny? To be as betrayal-y yet adorable as a naked mole rat?"

brainwashatron

noun. A handy mind-laundering device.

Real citation: "Wow, a week of conservatism training at Reagan Ranch Retreat, where you will have an opportunity to explore the experiences Reagan enjoyed! But don't let them keep you in the BrainWashaTron too long or you'll be enjoying the experiences Reagan currently enjoys."
(Oct. 13, 2003, World O'Crap, http://blogs.salon.com/0002874/2003/10/13.html)

Made-up citation: "Put me in the brainwashatron and don't skimp on the brain bleach!"

wankitudinous

adj. Because "wanky" just doesn't have enough syllables.

Real citation: "I keep all but the truly wankitudinous. Those I give to charity. (Not because I'm a nice person, just because it seems like more trouble to sell them). Apart from "A Portrait of the Artist...", which annoyed me so much I threw it out the window to relieve my hatred."
(Milla, May 4, 2006, http://www.bowlie.com/forum/library/25669-books-keep-not-keep-question.html)

Made-up citation: "Many seekers of wankitudinous delights end up on my site. Sorry, filth-seekers! All I got are words."

crapulent-tastic

adj. Fantastically crapulent.

Real citation: "Crapulent-tastic banner!"
(http://crapulent.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1151&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=45&sid=223bff0626419ed1e505adc5537f9dd4)

Made-up citation: "The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the crapulent-tastic are bold as a lion."

spermliness

noun. A spermatozoa-type quality that has something to do with manhood and peopling the earth.

Real citation: "Between the time we got our diagnosis and did some research and the time of our appointment, T and I did some soul searching. Amazingly, T is one of the only men I have ever met who honestly doesn't care about carrying on a genetic legacy. Not only that, but he is man enough to NOT associate manliness with spermliness. Thank God. It would have been the Crisco-flavored icing on the soggy-ass cake if he were like that."
(amyesq, Jan. 23, 2005, Fertiley Challenged, http://amyesq.blogspot.com/2005/01/ttc-early-years.html)

Made-up citation: "If spermliness is next to Godliness, then God should watch out for the wet spot."

death-bed-ish

adj. Sweet-oblivion-y...with a mattress.

Real citation: "Well, in light of the movie, the first verse makes a lot more sense. I didn't even know it was featured in the movie, although I saw it, so I don't even know how the hell I didn't even put 2 and 2 together. However, the rest of the song just seems so..... death-bed-ish to me, you know?"
(evian, Jan. 31, 2000, http://www.smoe.org/lists/joni/v2000.n063)

Made-up citation: "My new band: Desmond and the Death-bed-ish Dingleberries."

slackassage

noun. The Church of the Subgenius worships slack, but only the Latvian Orthodox church values slackassage, which they define as a kind of anti-kavorka.

Related terms: slackassitude, slackassery.

Real citation: "It's called Slackassage...my new word for posts that never seem to post and then post twice...I should sell this **** to Webster's and make a fortune.:D"
(cncmomma, April 16, 2006, http://www.cncden.com/forums/archive/index.php?t-14631.html)

Made-up citation: "The only enduring criticism of John Donne's poetry is that he rhymed 'slackassage' and 'wackassage' too many times. Hadn't Donne heard of 'crackassage'?"

depressionosity

noun. Even Valley girls get the blues.

Real citation: "i am emo. emos rule the world with there depressionosity"
(evierox, http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=293985)

Made-up citation: "Clinically speaking, anyone who uses the word depressionosity is not suffering from depressionosity."

succubusless

adj. Where did my dreamy female dreamtime demon go?

Real citation: "Well, since it doesn't look as though a succubus is ever gonna make her rounds here I could always take a trip out to Vegas, Prostitution in legal in Nevada - I think it should be everywhere cause there are alot of succubusless subjects out there. It would only cost a few bucks and your soul won't get sucked out immediatly."
(Zaltor, Feb. 14. 2003, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.folklore.ghost-stories/msg/8bf3bc4850fac502)

Made-up citation: "After the exorcism, I was succubusless and demon-free. And lonely...sob."

expositionator-y

adj. 1) Take terminator-y. 2) Replace the gore and violence with brain-melting blah blah blah. 3) Stir till yeast is dissolved.

Real citation: "Ahhhh. I really liked this episode. The only parts that rang false were in the Tyllium refinery with the kids. I know, their little bits of a story were featured to make a point and to push the plot forward, but there was something kind of Expositionator-y about them that didn't quite work for me."
(amarantainbk, "3-16: "Dirty Hands" 2007.02.25," Feb. 26, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3151936&view=findpost&p=7245599)

Made-up citation: "The Bible's a little expositionator-y for me. Hasn't God heard of 'show, don't tell'?"

fuckheadess

noun. The world is full of fuckheads. Some are womenfolk.

Real citation: "How do you know it's not a fuckheadess?"
(Dopefish, Sept. 2, 2001, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.hacking/msg/57043779f4454b1b?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Your mama's a fuckheadess, and your dad's a fuckheadess-fucker."

thwackitude

noun. Ouch. Or, woohoo! Depending on the thwackee.

Real citation: "Golly! I hit the cages again tonight and was mighty improved fom yesterday. I saw the ball better and got my legs and hips into the swing much better. I'm still hitting better from the left side, but once I started focussing on the ball and its proper state of thwackitude, I started making very respectable contact."
(Liam, May 11, 2005, http://heylisten.blogspot.com/2005/05/south-will-never-rise-agien.html)

Made-up citation: "I hope Jackie Chan is enduring minimal thwackitude in his movies these days. Dude deserves a break."

douchebagwad

noun. Sometimes, "douchebag" just doesn't cover it.

Related terms: douchebaghead.

Real citation: "we be chilaxing pretty soon
douchebagwad
mannnn"
(Sept. 11, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:vIm-ji5edWsJ:profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendid%3D53894445+douchebagwad&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Just as humans and chimps share 98% of their DNA, the difference between a douchebag and douchebagwad is subtle."

hellhound-free

adj. Completely lacking any frisky Satanic canines.

Real citation: ""The Prom" does have a couple of nice moments when Cordelia realizes that Xander has made sure she looks spectacular for the big dance, and watching Wesley weigh the ethics of asking her to dance is okay, but Cordy really is a minor player in this one. The emphasis is on Buffy, who is determined that since they all might be killed when the Mayor ascends the least she can do is make sure her friends have a hellhound-free prom."
(Lawrance M. Bernabo, Dec. 17, 2005, http://www.amazon.com/Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer/dp/B000260QJC)

Made-up citation: "Our products are video-equipped, hellhound-free, government-subsidized, and battery-operated. Join today. We will be as one."

dealbreakerness

noun. The essence of something that spooked the horse, shit the bed, and soured the deal.

Real citation: "Nothing else in his answer confuses us away from this first sentence. In response to a direct question on the dealbreakerness of carve-out personal accounts (the only ones worth debating), the president used the word 'voluntary' in the first sentence. And it's hard to be murky on this: carve-out personal savings accounts vs. add-on accounts is a black and white issue. Because of the way the SSA pays benefits, either all of us accept carve-outs, or none of us. Add-ons can be voluntary, and voluntary is the key word."
(Michael, April 29, 2005, http://rosettaweblog.blogspot.com/2005/04/i-must-have-missed-something-part-2.html)

Made-up citation: "When dating, cats have the stench of dealbreakerness for me, because they make my lungs shut down, like adorable, furry Darth Vaders."

dramaqueentastic

adj. A close, demanding relative of "promqueentastic."

Real citation: "what kind of loser writes a blog to his friends when he could just go buy them a drink and talk to them? 'Oh I know, I'll sit on my fat ass and type instead of kickin it with my homiez, thats so much cooler and more effective than face-to-face communication' dramaqueentastic!
(SCUD, 2005, http://www.yayhooray.com/thread/54781/People-with-Blogs?page=2)

Made-up citation: "There's a fine line between assertive and dramaqueentastic. OK, maybe there isn't."

nose-smushage

noun. An unromantic meeting of the cartilage.

Real citation: "Ahh what's worse is when you're kissing someone who DOESN'T tilt, cuz then whichever way you go, you have to bend your neck even MORE to avoid nose-smushage."
(Sue, Sept. 9, 2005, http://www.gunson.ca/blog/archives/2005/09/another_highly.html)

Made-up citation: "Nose-smushage and psycho-meetage are two hazards of dating."

Mr. Sweaty Scream-o

noun. Not who Mom and Dad hoped you'd be. Alas.

Real citation: "Mr. Sweaty Scream-o and Captain Overreaction – Feb. 6"
(Kevin L. Hoover, Feb. 6, 2007, The Arcata Eye, http://www.arcataeye.com/index.php?module=Pagesetter&tid=2&topic=7&func=viewpub&pid=463&format=full)

Made-up citation: "My parents named me ESPN. Would 'Mr. Sweaty Scream-o' have been any worse?"

fart-knockery

noun. Some kind of Beavis and Butthead-ish idiocy or flatulence.

Real citation: "May the glory of communication and discussion flourish rather than flaming, trolling, bashing, and general fart-knockery for lack of a less appropraite term that isn't offensive."
(Nick Powers, May 16, 2006, STJ Ultimate, http://vtultimate.org/v-web/portal/cms/ac/index.php?option=com_forum&Itemid=56&page=viewtopic&p=19250&sid=73a9d24da4ec62da8d082480200964f1)

Made-up citation: "New research shows fart-knockery is more common in boys than girls. Preliminary findings also indicate boys have testicles and toy trucks."

crapologism

noun. A crap-diddly-tastic neologism.

Real citation: "Yes, technically, it's a word, and technically, it's probably correct as cited. That's the letter of the law. The spirit of the law is that it's a pretentious post-MBA marketing coinage that is both obnoxious and extraneous, and if I want to discourage its use, which I do, I need to dismiss it out of hand on The Vine.
You're right on the merits, of course, but I'm not about to split that hair if it means someone thinks that kind of crapologism is acceptable.
Words I myself make up or bend to my will are of course exempt from this curt judgment. Hee."
(Sarah D. Bunting, private email, March 2, 2007)

Made-up citation: "Crapologisms are as plentiful as prepositions, yet so much more barfbag-worthy."

stank-a-riffic

adj. Stink-o-riffic.

Real citations: "Speaking of incompetent developers with no regard for human life, the next stop on our stank-a-riffic tour is the Roebling Oil Field. . . ."
(Judy McGuire, "Smellevision!," Feb. 22, 2007, Bad Advice, http://badadvice.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/02/smellevision.html)

Made-up citation: "What's more stank-a-riffic? The beers you swill, the sheets you soil, or the gene pool from which you emerged?

bullshit in a can

noun phrase. Not the freshest twaddle.

Real citation: "the last company i worked for was bullshit in a can. they had their own special words for everything. nobody bothered to learn them. we prefered english to corporatese."
(arachnophilia, Aug. 7, 2005, http://arachnophilia.deviantart.com/journal/6155547/)

Made-up citation: "Bullshit in a can is common in this hemisphere, along with bullshit on wheels and bullshit on toast."

post-traumatic stress syndromey

adj. PTSS-ish.

Real citation: "OK - as a Starbuck lover, I think I have the right to say this: what an incredible ass. That goes for one-eyed too. Very Post tramatic stress syndromey, but still, WTF?"
(cwaldo, "3-4: "Collaborators" 2006.10.27," Oct. 28, 2006, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3147691&view=findpost&p=6427439)

Made-up citation: "After breaking up with my girlfriend and doing my taxes, I feel kind of post-traumatic stress syndromey. And poor. And sex goddessless."

ball-droppitude

noun. Wide receivers drop literal, pigskin-type balls, and the rest of us drop enormous metaphorical balls, making for a boatload of ball-droppitude in the world.

Real citation: "But for sheer ball-droppitude and apparent cluelessness, I'd still put my money on Glenallen. Though I understand that Candlestick supposedly has the most difficult-to-play right field on Earth, it bothers me a lot that Hill hasn't improved."
(Gregg Pearlman, "May Day! May Day! We're Losing Altitude!," May 3, 1997, http://eeeeeegp.com/Notes97/May97Notes1.html)

Made-up citation: "Lately, I've been suffering from frequent ball-droppitude--and yes, my testicles are doing just fine, thank you."

TWSSing

present participle. Throwing "that's what she said" around like you're Michael Scott or it's TWSS Day.

Real citation: "alas, I’ve been teaching PE to elementary school kids all day. And I don’t think it’s all that appropriate to use TWSS with them, although there were more than a few moments in the teachers lounge I thought it to myself. Now that I’m out of school, there will be much TWSSing tonight!"
(Markus, Feb. 15, 2007, http://www.officetally.com/international-thats-what-she-said-day)

Made-up citation: "TWSSing in church is all the rage for hipster evangelicals and teenage punks."

mad scientistette

noun. A researcher with demented assistants, diabolical plans, and feminine wiles.

Real citation: "Still made me giggle thinking you laughing like a mad scientistette. Yes its a real word goddamnit!"
(Manfre, March 30, 2004, http://www.ubersite.com/m/28906)

Made-up citation: "My grandmother was a mad scientistette and my grandfather was an animal-puller. That's why I am part mountain goat."

grovelicious

adj. A close relative of craven-licious, beggar-licious, and plead-o-licious.

Real citation: "I'm trying to think of something suitably grovelicious, but nothing comes to mind...."
(CunningLinguist, June 9, 2004, http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/7812)

Made-up citation: "I'm gentlemanly, well-groomed, and grovelicious. I feel I would be a good asset to your company."

bedwettology

noun. The dampest science.

Real citation: "But you appear to now have one in Freakinology, eh? And that's a good sign! Degrees in Doofusology, Whineology, Bedwettology, and last, but not least, Buttinskology are worthless and you shouldn't waste your time trying to get them. Please? Heh-heh-heh."
(Joe Finocchiaro, Aug. 6, 1996, http://groups.google.com/group/rec.pets.dogs.breeds/msg/139d907cfee2cbf5?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "A rare boast: I have a doctorate in bedwettology."

double dillwadish

adj. Twice the dillwad-y badness in half the time.

Real citation: "4 games back with 6 to go...ostensibly they were set. It would be dillwadish to even attempt such a feat. Especially since Indiana and Washington virtually have the same record. Would it not be double dillwadish to expend so much energy and risk injury to do this? They would not gain home court since they would have to play the Pistons anyway. Please refrain from your mental masturbation."
(April 15, 2006, http://detroitsportszone.com/forum/archive/index.php?t-3128.html)

Made-up citation: "When I end up in hell, St. Peter or whoever will say I was pretty, selfish, and double dillwadish."

sex goddessless

adj. Sigh. The saddest adjective of them all.

Related terms: sex goddessness.

Real citation: "I even have something in there for Übersite, that starts out something along these lines of 'Dear Rockin' Sex Goddess and Lovely Lady Loren, fear not for I have hopefully gone on to a better place, but you must go on. You need to stay strong so that teenagers everywhere will be disciplined, caracatures of others will be drawn, Glam_daddy will be taught how to aquire quality weed and so that the world will not be Sex Goddessless...'"
(Otter, Oct. 31, 2003, http://www.ubersite.com/m/17042)

Made-up citation: "I'm sex goddessless, graying, and congested. My new humidifier should fix one of my problems."

exorcistesque

adj. Barfy. Or righteous with the fury of the powah of the dark side! I mean, the Lord.

Real citation: "I had an exorcistesque vomiting moment during the concert. I only wish it had been blood vomit.."
(July 15, 2006, http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=6256842&MyToken=3f087962-8417-40ae-954e-f1e0bc485fc2ML)

Made-up citation: "An exorcistesque pediatrician gathers many malpractice suits."

fan-diddly-fucking-tastic

adj. Fantastic squared. Or diddly-fucking cubed.

Related terms: fan-diddly-damn-tastic, fan-diddly-an-diddly-tastic,

Real citation: "Just because it is the best way to do things now doesn’t mean it is ‘good’, the fundemental document format is flawed. Yes the semantics are fan-diddly-fucking-tastic, that isn’t what I am fucking nagging about. Grrrrr. And the fact I have so little time. Fuck you all."
(Feb. 16, 2006, Print, http://print.wordpress.com/2006/02/16/spamertainment-britney-spears-photos/)

Made-up citation: "A recent poll named the Great Cornholio the most fan-diddly-fucking-tastic character in television history, narrowly beating out Mr. Spock and Dr. Huxtable."

non-doomedness

noun. All will be groovy. Really.

Real citation: "Good News: Syera comes up with a plan to lead them into relative non-doomedness."
(Syera, July 18, 2006, http://forum.gateworld.net/showthread.php?t=29001&page=42)

Made-up citation: "A feeling of non-doomedness is one of the first signs of impending doom, according to the American Psychological Association."

Lower Buttmunchistan

noun. A faraway land, where little buttmunches roam.

Related terms: East Buttfuckistan.

Real citation: "As long as the guest workers fulfill the requirements of their employers, they could speak the language and carry the culture of Lower Buttmunchistan for all we care."
(Cabinia, May 28, 2004, http://forums.jolt.co.uk/archive/index.php/t-330543.html)

Made-up citation: "This month I'm going to Atlanta (to see penguins), Buffalo (to see family), and Lower Buttmunchistan (because I hate myself).

bone throwage

noun. Sometimes, you just need someone to throw you a frickin'....well, you know.

Real citation: "We need bone throwage....."
(zan, June 22, 2005, http://forums.vanguardsoh.com/archive/index.php/t-15867.html)

Made-up citation: "Hey, weather gods! Can I get a little bone throwage here? Me and my little dog are freezing our nads off. And he doesn't even have any."

batshitologist

noun. 1) A crazy person. 2) An expert on all things psycho bugnuts.

Related terms: batshit loony, batshit whacko, batshit insane, batshit nutty, batshit nutso, batshit-deranged, super-batshit-insane, pre-batshit-insane, completely-fucking-batshit-insane, batshit-fucking-crazy, batshit-sounding, non-batshit, pre-batshit, anti-batshit, batshittery, batshititude, holy batshit, batcrap, batpoop, batfuck.

Real citation: "Hahahahaha! You are not lazy or obese. But onya bike you boring bowling batshitologist LOL."
(May 17, 2005, http://hayley.moeface.com/2005/05/17/yoga-boring-boring-bowling/)

Made-up citation: "Does collecting the above terms make me a batshitologist? How much prouder can Mom get?"

non-ball-licking

adj. Dry testicles, folks. That's all we have today.

Real citation: "When I agreed to do this review I was honest, admitting that my opinion of Strapping Young Lad was lukewarm. I was told that it would make a nice change from reviewers licking their balls all the time. I thought I could definitely deliver on the non-ball-licking review. I really did. But maybe for this record they should have asked more of an SYL fan."
(Fred Phillips, June 21, 2006, http://www.digitalmetal.com/reviews.asp?cid=7440)

Made-up citation: "I'd leave 'non-ball-licking' off the resume, son. No boss wants to see those words hyphenated."

assheadface

noun. A mix of an asshole, a shithead, and a fuckface--minus a shitfuckhole, of course.

Related terms: fuckheadface, shitheadface.

Real citation: "Hey assheadface, hope everything is alright, I'm still recovering from all the chocolate ice cream and the fancy egg aroma. Lates."
(Sept. 8, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:GbDDCYYrYHwJ:profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendid%3D86547455+assheadface&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Men are likelier than women to be assheadfaces, according to cutting-edge research at a local university."

freakitudinous

adj. Freaky! Like, chock full o' freakitude.

Real citation: "Why is the Christian Reformed Church intense and why are the Protestant Reformed Churches freakitudinous?"
(Geoff, Feb. 26, 2005, http://www.goesping.org/archives/2004/11/07/whats-christian-mean-anymore/feed/)

Made-up citation: "Body Worlds 2 was mega-freakitudinous. And I learned that skin is good. I'm making it a point to always have some."

sweet Matilda's hymen

exclamation. An idiom that may not be a fit affirmation of the Sunday homily.

Real citation: "Sweet Matilda's hymen- oh, wait... I can see how that would be a poor turn of phrase in light of..."
(DJRadiohead, "Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton Have Holes In Their Wardrobes," Sept. 14, 2006, http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/09/14/204310.php)

Made-up citation: "Sweet Matilda's hymen! Never have I consumed cupcakes as transcendent as these."

malfunctionish

adj. Malfunctiony. Or just broke.

Real citation: ":ozz: <--- Lookit! That's me!! Meeee!! Uh, wait, no it's not...mine seems to be slightly....malfunctionish."
(RabidOzztaku, Nov. 12, 2004, http://www.badbadrubberpiggy.com/vbulletin/archive/index.php/t-1495.html)

Made-up citation: "My no-name, bargain-basement computer is less malfunctionish than the brand-namier one I had before. Cheapness doth prevail!"

Warrior Princess-esque

adj. Badassette-like. And Xena-ish.

Related terms: un-Warrior-Princess-like.

Real citation: "First one, in the hide-e-hole, it sounds like he calls her 'Sheena', which doesn't make much sense to me, so maybe I misheard and it was supposed to be 'Xena', because that would kinda fit seeing as how she'd just pulled some Warrior Princess-esque moves to save them. As they're getting out of the hide-e-hole, he calls her 'Underdog'."
(Phee, "
3-7: "Not In Portland" 2007.02.07," Feb. 8, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3151209&view=findpost&p=7074930)

Made-up citation: "A Warrior Princess-esque wardrobe does not imply Warrior Princess-esque combat skills, according to Dr. Phil."

horriditude

noun. The horror, the horror! Dude.

Real citation: "mine was when she had done a lovely warmup, then as we were just coming in she spotted her mate and started shrieking and didn't stop the wentire test. starburst can vouch for the test's horriditude."
(Mehitabel, May 24, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:ivZ4-lLMLboJ:www.saddle-up.org.uk/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t138951.html+horriditude&hl=en&amp;amp;amp;ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Mommy, why did God create horriditude and pea soup?"

placentalicious

adj. There's not enough ew in the world...

Real citation: "Yep, we're making placenta pills...mmmm...placentalicious."
(BratMama, Jan. 23, 2004, http://forums.naturalparenting.com.au/showthread.php?p=8299)

Made-up citation: "When writing the menu for your new upscale vegetarian restaurant, avoid the words 'placentalicious' and 'beefgasm.'"

buttockage

noun. Ass, folks. Here be ass.

Real citation: "Paddle the buttockage good. Oh yeah."
(That Quiz Guy, "Old Rites, Almost Forgotten," June 7, 2006, http://thequizblogger.blogspot.com/2006/06/old-rites-almost-forgotten.html)

Made-up citation: "Though I often fret about the horrid state of other parts of my body, I hardly ever worry about my buttockage. It would be cool if my non-buttockage were out of sight too."

prefuckedupness

noun. Some fuckedupedness starts early.

Real citation: "I read somewhere, or heard in some whacked out seminar once, that for a relationship to work, there needs to be at least eight really good things to every bad thing. That's something I probably should have put a voice to, as it was in my head, but you know--again, part of the prefuckedupness of being a woman is expecting everyone to be fucking psychic. Why aren't you psychic, Deb?! :-p"
(Sassinator, Oct. 26, 2004, http://www.debutaunt.com/archives/000342.php)

Made-up citation: "Is original sin a form of prefuckedupness, Father Larry?"

non-fondle-y

adj. No groping, molesting, tickling, or stroking can be found here.

Real citation: "Keep fondling, people. It's a small light in the darkness of a non-fondle-y world."
(Sept. 8, 2006, http://www.cocomment.com/rss2Article/165580.rss)

Made-up citation: "I have many non-fondle-y relationships with women--which is great--but Jesus fuck, I could use a few guy friends these days."

debrainsuck

verb. To reverse the effects of brainsuckage, which can be most unenlightening, though restful.

Real citation: "The battle plays out essentially the same way, except we actually have Doc indicate why he's going to kill Dawn. Something about Glory's soul/essense or something, I don't care. That plothole pissed me off. Glory deheads the Buffybot, Willow debrainsucks Tara, Buffy smashes Glory and they play Donkey Kong, as per the original."
(Marguryte, "Making Our Own Fun: Rewriting 'Buffy,'" June 28, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=2806070&view=findpost&p=3167912)

Made-up citation: "After coffee debrainsucked me over breakfast, my corpus callosum felt frisky and fresh again."

numbskulless

noun. A numbskull with womanly charms, wiles, and wardrobe.

Real citation: "Who came up with that lousy idea? If you know, and would forward this blog entry to him/her (that numbskull/numbskulless) I'd appreciate it."
(David Hardesty, "Butterflies," Jan. 27, 2006, Musings of a Small Town Christian,
http://davidhardesty.blogspot.com/2006/01/butterflies.html)

Made-up citation: "I would date a doofusette, cosmic-donut supporter, or congressrodent, but not a numbskulless. I have standards, people!"