sick-puppy-esque-ness

noun. Look deep into the eyes, soul, or pants of a sick puppy, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "Justify it and claim 'specialness' because of their 'sick-puppy-esque-ness'."
(Allison Wonderland, June 15, 2001, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.consciousness.4th-way/msg/47e530fdce2fc5be?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "According to the Koran, one should avoid all sick-puppy-esque-ness. Or maybe that was my Aunt Laura."

sausagefestish

adj. Tallywhackerpalooza-y.

Real citation: "Eh kinda sausagefestish party pics, but... edward fortyhands drinking game!... hehe"
(http://www.genmay.net/archive/index.php/t-249267.html)

Made-up citation: "With no male friends in Chicago, my life has never been less sausagefestish."

stem-cell-hugger

noun. Well, they are adorable.

Related words: tree-hugger, panda-hugger, caribou-hugger, lung-hugger, Bill-of-Rights-hugger, Constitution-hugger, habitat-hugger.

Real citation: "TAKE THAT STEM CELL HUGGER"
(quietgirl, Dec. 16, 2005, http://www.airamerica.com/ms/node/1103?from=360&comments_per_page=90)

Made-up citation: "I can't blame stem-cell-huggers for their strong beliefs. Paul's 'Letter to the Stem Cells' is very persuasive."

fembot-tastic

adj. Mmm...womanly chrome charms.

Real citation: "fembot-tastic"
("Happy Halloweenie!," http://community.webshots.com/album/491491092FfdCJU)

Made-up citation: "If I had a nickel for every time I felt 'fembot-tastic,' I wouldn't have any nickels."

baseball bat moment

noun. A writing or directing choice that anviliciously bludgeons all beholders.

Real citation: "It's fitting that Tigh would hit the bottle again, but the bit at the end with the flask was overkill. At least the way it was shot anyway. Yes, we get he's an acoholic who fell off the wagon for the umpteenth time. Cripes, we don't need extra closeups of the flask, but seeing as these baseball bat moments are few and far between, I'm willing to let this one slide (mostly)."
(specialj67, "2-3: "Fragged" 2005.07.29," July 29, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3129080&view=findpost&p=3320489)

Made-up citation: "Watching The Shield kind of makes me want to wash my hands, bleach my brain, and cry in my crepes, but I love that it has hardly any baseball bat moments."

degoopified

adj. Look elsewhere, ye who seek goop. Or wads.

Related words: deballified, defuckified, desmellified, destinkified.

Real citation: "spray some on the surface to be degoopified, wait a few minutes, and paper towel off the gunk."
(Cap'n Dex, May 17, 2004, http://www.ambackforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=311170&sid=d6947526cd1b67bab846cb70d47c1514)

Made-up citation: "I won't leave the house with degoopified hair, though I've been told I'm an overgooper."

hootchie-wad

noun. Um, this may not be a compliment to our female-ier friends. Then again, who doesn't like a good wad?

"don't get me wrong, you know my sexual preference...but i'm going to have to go with the rainbow dress. I think I could work it with my mad model-walk skills. Also, the beznootchy who ran over my dog won't pick up her phone. But Indie is doing great, so at least hootchie-wad woman isn't a doggie killer."
(Sara, June 15, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:RaJDeIWdsp4J:profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendid%3D25900535+%22hootchie-wad%22&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1)

Made-up citation: "There's a fine line between a hootchie-wad and a hootchie mama, according to my sister."

oomphitude

noun. Here ye shall find oomph, and a few hormones too.

Real citation: "Later you run into more of your lighter or purely informational fluff, Maltins, Siskel and Eberts, Rex Reeds, of greatly variable oomphitude in importance of opinion."
(GrapeApe, Sept. 5, 2001, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.cecil-adams/msg/25b13ca1f2a6a76d)

Made-up citation: "When it's so hot that I'm going through four pairs of underwear a day, oomphitude is pretty much out of the question."

great-grandspawn

noun. The spawn of my crotch's loins. Or the crotchfruit of my spawn's spawn? Loins are involved.

Related terms: great great grandspawn, great great great great great grandspawn, great-grand-crotchfruit.

Real citation: "The Simple Life follows the adventures of two young heiresses, hotelier great-grandspawn Paris Hilton and '80s hit-maker offspring Nicole Richie, as they are whisked away from the funky nightclubs and beery vomitoria of Beverly Hills and deposited on a humble, wholesome farm in hillbilly country."
(Kevin Baker, "A Modest Conspiracy Theory," Dec. 4, 2005, Running to Ruin, http://runningtoruin.blogspot.com/2005/12/modest-conspiracy-theory.html)

Made-up citation: "I told my parents they'd better appreciate my puppy Monkey--he's the closet thing to a great-grandspawn they're gonna get."

non-playthingish

adj. Dude, there are no succubi sex-kittens here. Move along.

Real citation: "For the other women that get harrassed while playing normal or prudish/frumpy, or just plain non-playthingish characters, not succubi sex-kittens, those are the women I have sympathy for, but not for women who play characters that are playing a sexy phermone excreting succubi. Sheesh"
(deFafnyr, May 14, 2006, http://p208.ezboard.com/feq2rpfrm7.showMessage?topicID=345.topic)

Made-up citation: "My new screenplay--Non-playthingish Nuns of Narnia--has been hard to sell. Mom says I should work 'nookie' into the title."

toasterfucker

noun. Depending on whether you live in the world of Battlestar Galactica or reality, this slur describes a citizen who humps evil robots or handy appliances.

Real citation: "Helo walks into the Officers' Mess like they're actually going to hang out and have fun, even though he's a toasterfucker, and everybody looks at him crazy."
(Jacob, "Flight of the Phoenix," Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/articles/content/a423/)

Made-up citation: "If the Battlestar Galactica fembots are toasters, I'd like to be put on the toasterfucker waiting list immediately."

nutbarhood

noun. A somewhat bugfuck way to be. In other words: Potato wing! Potato wing!

Real citation: "But whatever, is this sort of conversation typical, or have I managed to secure yet another nutbar? Lots of other evidence points to nutbarhood (expectation that I'll read her mind and figure out what she wants without her telling me, a general grumpiness toward me based on my txt messages, complete lack of response when I ask if she wants to meet me in person, complete lack of response when I ask what's wrong/what I've done to upset her, and complete lack of desire to communicate anything at all even though she's obviously unhappy with things ('I don't want to talk, can't things just be?'). But I'm always open to the idea that I'm wrong somehow, I'm missing something."
(Damian. Feb. 27, 2004, http://addict.net.nz/comments.php?id=2774&PHPSESSID=7263ea9ceea3b75fe100f462d000824a)

Made-up citation: "It's like someone wrote a book just for me: The End of Faith is all about the nutbarhood of religious people, and why they're going to kill us all."

veto-ginity

noun. That first Presidential veto, which can be so awkward.

Real citation: "Yesterday he lost his veto-ginity. Attaboy, George!"
(Stephen Colbert, July 20, 2006, The Colbert Report)

Made-up citation: "Commander Cuckoo-Bananas lost his veto-ginity to a bunch of stem cells. How romantic."

polterthing

noun. A ghostly critter or thingy. Maybe a ghost goat or ghost toaster. Boooooo! Hissss! I mean, booooooooooooo!

Real citation: "Yao-O-SHI-2 shouts, 'Who has that polterthing!'"
(Jan. 29, 2005, http://www.paranoia-live.net/gm_ftp/Dairun/01_29_05_Super_Mar_R_IOH_Bros.html)

Made-up citation: "I don't believe in polterthings, Zeus, Jesus, or leprechauns. But I believe in the healing power of Goldbond."

kah-splodey

adj. Kah-boomy.

Real citation: "Prepping the big kah-splodey finale"
(Rogers, June 11, 2005, Kung Fu Monkey, http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2005/06/prepping-big-kah-splodey-finale.html)

Made-up citation: "Given the current state of the world, I'm having trouble thinking of a joke with 'kah-splodey' in it. I think I'll just go back to my Chappelle's Show season two DVDs and have another grain alcohol and tonic."

braindeadification

noun. This is how stupid happens, one corpus callosum at a time.

Related terms: dumbassification.

Real citation: "I'm well aware of the insidious process of braindeadification Ender."
(Hewitt, Nov. 10, 2004, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:Fk-AYJYA2QAJ:www.brainwar.ath.cx/community/comments.php%3FDiscussionID%3D16%26page%3D3+braindeadification&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=2)

Made-up citation: "Whether you call it edumacation or braindeadification, high school pretty much sucks, according to a renowned professor of education."

ballsweatometer

noun. A keen groin-juice-detecting device, sold separately from Depends.

Real citation: "As our facility lacks a ballsweatometer, quantitative testing was not possible."
(Keller & O'Brien, ""A Qualitative Examination of the Relationship Between Above-Basal Metabolic Rates and Scrotum Humidity," Feb. 8, 2005, http://icarus.uic.edu/~mobrie3/sack.html)

Made-up citation: "After three straight days in the high nineties, my ballsweatometer officially broke. That's not gonna be good for business. That's not gonna be good for anybody."

divorcey-weds

noun. A legally uncoupled couple. But what about the crotchfruit? Maybe you should stay together for the crotchfruit.

Real citation: “It's official: Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are now divorcey-weds.”
(Ann Romano, “One Day at a Time,” July 13, 2006, The Portland Mercury, http://portlandmercury.com/portland/Content?category=22175)

Made-up citation: "Most of my friends have at least one parent who's a divorcey-wed. I'm starting to think my parents are weirdoes just for staying hitched."

sexpotbot

noun. The kind of fembot they sell in a plain brown wrapper.

Real citation: "In this one, Galatea the sexpotbot drives Pygmalion ... [plot incomplete]."
(KnightEnder, April 8, 2005, http://www.ornery.org/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=18;t=000010;p=0)

Made-up citation: "Humanity's need for sleep, food, shelter, and sexpotbots is powerful, according to researchers at a local university."

pigwad

noun. A species closely related to the pigfucker, the jerkwad, and the pork chop.

Real citation: "Hey you prejudiced pigwad - I'm a Cretin."
(lonvideo, Oct. 25, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.keanu-reeves/msg/adb3daf218dfc04b?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Besides her freaky use of dashes, Emily Dickinson was unusually fond of the words 'pigwad' and 'snorkel.'"

messiahess-in-training

noun. She will save us all--if she passes Seven-Headed-Monster-Riding 101.

Related terms: messiahess, messiahette.

Real citation: "Occupation: messiahess-in-training"
(http://www.blogger.com/profile/6670721)

Made-up citation: "I'm seeking a mattressable, mom-burban, mind-fornicating messiahess-in-training. I also like bubble tea."

kaboomsville

noun. North of Kablooey City.

Real citation: "So, what happens is, we see Apollo's Viper in the foreground, and lots of flak explosions in the background, which pretty well obscure the Galactica. Against this background of kaboomsville, the Cylon ship is basically only identifiable because it's the thing that's got glowing engines but isn't bursting into flame."
(Strega, "Scattered," page 11, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/articles/content/a416/index-10.html)

Made-up citation: "And the Bible said, 'The Middle East shall yield many prophets, plus a whole shitload of kaboomsville. Selah.'"

un-prophetesque

adj. Like, totally unbecoming of a messenger of the divine word.

Real citation: "Also...the term "fragging" seems a bit un-prophetesque."
(Tommy, Dec. 26, 2002, groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.mormon/msg/61552cd1a8a1cfea?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Depending on your worldview, gibberish and spittle could be considered un-prophetesque or really, really prophet-y."

breasticular fortitude

noun. Who needs balls when you got bazoombas? (Not to be confused with lady balls).

Related terms: testicular fortitude, gonadal fortitude.

Real citation: "Couldn't agree with you more Straw, things have smartened up a bit in the past few days...and we welcome your breasticular fortitude around this place..."
(MrEMan, Jan. 28, 2006, http://www.haloscan.com/comments.php?user=crooks&comment=6895)

Made-up citation: "Though her breasts themselves have inspired few pundits or web pages, I think it's Hillary Clinton's breasticular fortitude that terrifies and enrages the bed-shitting mobs who despise her."

stigmatalicious

adj. Mmm...Christlike on a cracker.

Real citation: "mmmm... Stigmatalicious..."
(Phil Ashton, April 6, 2004, http://groups.google.com/group/rec.sport.pro-wrestling/msg/3145bb53d7d984d4?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Arby's new Stigmatalicious Steakburger brings joy to meat lovers and the Jeebusly inclined. Huzzah!"

non-sharey

adj. This means MINE.

Real citation: "The redhead stood and shut the door; her friend seemed like she had something on her mind and with the noise going on outside their room…well, it was safe to say Buffy would be in a non-sharey mood."
(Spikeskat, http://www.bringonthebloodshed.com/spikeskat/wah_4.htm)

Made-up citation: "On the first date, non-sharey-ness is a virtue. As is dressing like a porn star."

great-grand-crotchfruit

noun. The hellspawn of my grandspawn's loins.

Real citation: "G5, I seriously doubt that if you had a national referendum on prostitution, it would still be illegal. Those laws were FORCED on an unsuspecting public in 1915 by a tiny and vicious lobby group of religious old bitches of both sexes, and they continue to stay on the books by virtue of the lobbying of said bitches' great-grand-crotchfruit. The average American (thank Satan) believes in 'what goes on between consenting adults is nobody else's business.' Brazil and Colombia have this written in their constitutions. Sometimes I really wonder who are the 'atrasados' in this world!"
(Rubiazo, June 19, 2005, http://poorbuthappy.com/colombia/node/10550#comment-74208)

Made-up citation: "When you make a decision, Mr. President, don't just think of the crotchfruit. Think of the great-grand-crotchfruit."

rubble-izer

noun. A handy operative or device that makes much kaboom and many pieces.

Real citation: "Occupation: Rubble-izer"
(http://rm.dat-nguyen.com/rm/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1275&sid=b0f0150a25696ad538a07aa2a16d076d)

Made-up citation: "I often wish I had a 300-kiloton rubble-izer to aim at bikers who ride on the sidewalk and almost hit my dog. Then I could phase out my repertoire of friendly questions like, 'What's wrong? Is the street too scary?'"

embalmitude

noun. A pickled, perished state.

Real citation: "absolutely mortified, but not ready for embalmitude"
(Sean Willard, June 11, 1993, http://groups.google.com/group/talk.bizarre/msg/b7a378cf329cd77c)

Made-up citation: "I've seen Sonic Youth 12 times and love them deeply, but even I thought they might be ready for embalmitude. Yet their new CD is frisky as a kitty on a catnip-and-crack bender."

harumphery

noun. Umbrage is being taken; someone may be chagrinned.

Related terms: harumphitude, harumphage.

Real citation: "It amuses me, though it occasionally frightens me as well, that the legions of so-called conservatives in this country read "The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States" to mean that so long as we get our war on, the president can do fuck-all what he pleases, which is precisely the sort of "strict constructionism" (as the black-is-white phraseology goes) and respect for "original intent" that makes conservativism such a respected and respectable ideology, firmly rooted as it is in the healthy soil of Nixonian harumphery."
(IOZ, "Sign on the Dotted Line," March 24, 2006, http://whoisioz.blogspot.com/2006/03/sign-on-dotted-line.html)

Made-up citation: "Studies show that harumphery and fatty deposits both expand as we age."

poopberg

noun. Geologically speaking, holy mother of excrement.

Real citation: "I had my first experience with a poop explosion. It wasn’t an up the backer like Christine has had to deal with, but it was pretty disgusting. It leaked out of the side of his diaper and onto his onesie and clothes. That was only the tip of the poopberg."
("Random Thoughts from a Daddy," Feb. 20, 2005, Growing Up Lucas-Mullen, http://www.lucas-mullen.info/liampaul/?p=57)

Made-up citation: "When walking my dog, I always wait a minute after a dump before tossing away that precious little plastic bag o' poop. The first crap just might be the tip of the poopberg."

robo-paddle

noun. A useful device when swimming up shit creek with an evil cylon, droid, fembot, or toaster.

Real citation: "It's at this point that Baltar remembers that he gave her full access to the defense mainframe, and he finally begins to understand the he's up Caprica creek without a robo-paddle."
(Aaron, "Battlestar Galactica, Part 1," page 10, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/articles/content/a400/index-9.html)

Made-up citation: "Robo-paddles are already available at Target, but I dread the day when robo-puddles roam the earth."

deballified

verb. Metaphorically or surgically, balls go bye-bye.

Related terms: deballify, deballification.

Real citation: "I have reread my prior post and reavaluated my former opinion ,as a result ive taken the liberty on you folks behalf to rip the uteriss uterie not sure of spelling from several co workers ..........just doing my part ........ive also deballed deballified the males ......damn spelling."
(easygirl, April 6, 2006, http://forums.dailyrotten.com/967/00020907/_index.html)

Made-up citation: "Though he was deballified only two days ago, my puppy seems to have even more nutso energy than usual. I'm thinking of getting the procedure myself..."

gloriousnessosity

noun. A quality possessed by the real good shit.

Real citation: "Anyway, view the gloriousnessosity of it all:"
(Joe G. July 30, 2004, http://www.buhs.k12.ca.us/broncotalk/post.cgi?action=replyquote&forum=1&topic=307&postno=1)

Made-up citation: "The gloriousnessosity of Gwen's groin is a God-given porno."

fuckbabble

noun. This will make you yearn for the soothing tones of technobabble and psychobabble.

Real citation: "That last thing alone sounds like a godsend considering the fuckbabble we had to endure throughout this years Big Brother."
(August 16, 2002, groups.google.com/group/uk.media.tv.misc/msg/52a5b87df556db8d?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Forget English and Spanish; fuckbabble is our national tongue, and I wish we'd swallow it."

upscale-y

adj. There might be more than one fork or too many white people, I guess.

Real citation: "I wonder if it's gonna be a little too upscale-y like one of those 'luxury' movie theaters. I hope not."
(Feb. 9, 2005, http://dragonballyee.blogs.com/philly/2005/02/bowling_in_phil.html)

Made-up citation: "Though 'pommes frites' sounds pretentious and upscale-y, ever single time I have eaten fries with that name they have been ungodly good. So shut up and eat."

electro-skankstress

noun. Not the Bride of Frankenstein, from what I'm told.

Real citation: "Along with the old guard, Iggy teams up with some younger turks here, enlisting Green Day for a blast of snot-punk shuffle (Private Hell), drafting Sum 41 for a Ramonesy power-pop anthem (Little Know it All), and picking up electro-skankstress Peaches for a double dose of her raw, raunchy sexuality (Rock Show, Motor Inn)."
(Darryl Sterdan, "Skull Ring," http://jam.canoe.ca/Music/Artists/P/Pop_Iggy/AlbumReviews/
2003/10/31/771675.html)

Made-up citation: "I think I'm too old to text message or know an electro-skankstress when I see one."

boinkly

adverb. Or is that an adjective? Either way, there is something boinkalicious here.

Real citation: "Anyway, to return to boinkly activities, Home Truths had an item yesterday on the taste experience of drinking port by sucking it up through a chocolate finger. I cannot conceive of a more boink-worthy activity. Plain fingers or chocolate? Ruby or tawny port - surely not vintage?"
(Mike Page, April 24, 2005, http://www.vocaboly.com/forums/ftopic5069-0-asc-120.html)

Made-up citation: "Nothing is less promising of future boinkly fun than talking about your kid, your last six relationships, and your incarcerated sibling on the first date."

adorable-itude

noun. Look deep into the eyes of my rat terrier puppy Monkey, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "*sniffles* Mommy, I'm scared ... ahem. Though I wonder, from a strictly logical point of view - where does one draw the line (if any) between oohing and aahing over the hotness and adorable-itude here and actually writing screeds inspired by it? The fact/fiction dilemma, I suppose ... Or is this more off-topic than "My Cat's Breath Smelled Like Cat Food" ?"
(Rocket Launcher, "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Feb. 17, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=1162733&view=findpost&p=2536016)

Made-up citation: "Though I am chock full o' adorable-itude and hung like an octopus, I got where I am today through hard work and moral fiber."

batshit-deranged

adj. Cuckoo for crack and other fine breakfasts.

Related terms: batshit loony, batshit whacko, batshit insane, batshit nutty, batshit nutso, super-batshit-insane, completely-fucking-batshit-insane, batshit-fucking-crazy, batshit-sounding, non-batshit, pre-batshit, anti-batshit, batshittery, holy batshit, batcrap, batpoop.

Real citation: "I still can't get over her getting in touch with a librarian in Jordan to find out if I really read a book there. How batshit deranged can you get without realizing you're out of your fucking mind? She continues to demonstrate that you can be truly out of your mind and never know it."
(evariste, Feb. 11, 2006, http://discardedlies.com/entry/?11946_)

Made-up citation: "Too much work plus unending allergies equals a batshit-deranged me, who might just start living up to my family's fine tradition of postal workers."

non-crotchal

adj. Non-loinal; non-groinal; non-no-no-place-al.

Related terms: crotchal.

Real citation: "Only in the non-crotchal areas"
(Unseen, Jan. 15, 2004, http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache:HVcSA6yMwsYJ:superherochat.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php%3Ft%3D51138%26start%3D0%26postdays%3D0%26postorder%3Dasc%26highlight%3D%26sid%3D68aeb65502b4e9b5e449149733486b86+%22non-crotchal%22&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1)

Made-up citation: "Turning a non-crotchal friendship into a raging crotchfest is a delicate procedure indeed."

dyingish

adj. Call the doctor, priest, exorcist, etc.

Real citation: "From there we'd realise the Giles in the real world isn't actually the First, but a force of good, PTB?, that's using (a non-corporeal)Giles, his memories, etc, to help them - but he'll go when the First is defeated. Buffy has issues about this, later on of course she can't hug Giles to say good bye when he has to go - all sad, etc. The series ends on a similar tone it actually does, 'cause Giles is at peace and they know it (with Anya & Spike still dyingish)"
(Jamie, April 26, 2004, "Making Our Own Fun: Rewriting 'Buffy,'" Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=2806070&view=findpost&p=1326741)

Made-up citation: "Maybe I'm not in a dyingish state exactly, but this fucking cough is screwing up my sleep and KILLING ME."

globo-downfallization

noun. World go boom. Or down the commode. Or something.

Real citation: "Like Geoff Pullum, I haven't read what Don Watson has to say about the globo-downfallization of language, because Watson's book is not available here."
(Mark Liberman, "Counting new words: is there a lexicography gap?," Dec. 23, 2003, Language Log, http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000257.html)

Made-up citation: "Disappointing though it may be, I don't believe your expanding waistline can be linked to globo-downfallization."

turnedonedness

noun. Fire in the pants! I think it moved.

Real citation: "Perhaps I was reading it wrong. Perhaps I wasn't supposed to read it as a story, but read one chapter at a time, as turnedonedness was required. Bullshit."
(Tessa, April 27, 2005, Silence Without, http://silence-without.blogspot.com/2005/04/sleeping-beauty-novels-anne-rice-i.html)

Made-up citation: "Yesterday, turnedonedness was in the air, as I had to drag my frothing-at-the-groin puppy away from an unspayed beagle, thus preventing the worst Father's Day ever."

go psycho bugnuts

idiom. Go cuckoo bananas; go slappy walnuts; go mentally wacky; go overnight postal; sprinkle crack on one's cornflakes.

Real citation: "Why leave it up to a couple of people, with no support? Especially people who are likely to go psycho bugnuts as they all apparently do?"
(Daniel, "Live Together, Die Alone," page 16, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=136&story=9402&page=16&sort=&limit=)

Made-up citation: "Since getting a puppy, litterbugs drive me six shades of psycho bugnuts--because he eats everything and then licks me. Essentially, your trash is licking me. Why don't you just smear it directly on my face?"

spokesfuckhead

noun. A citizen with public speaking responsibilities in addition to fuckheaded backwards behavior.

Related terms: spokesbaby, spokesbat, spokeschimp, spokescrab, spokescrony, spokesdemon, spokesdipshit, spokesdoofus, spokesdude, spokes-fembot, spokesferret, spokeshottie, spokeslackey, spokesloony, spokeslunatic, spokesmaniac, spokesmartian, spokesmonkey, spokesmoron, spokesnomad, spokespuppet, spokespuppy, spokesvermin, spokesweasel, spokeswookie.

Real citation: “Roger Scheissman, official spokesfuckhead for alt.flame."
(Anonymous, Sept. 28, 2001, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.flame/msg/68baa7c6253936b7?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Hiring a man named Snow as White House press secretary was a brave step towards honesty; another step was taken yesterday when the position was renamed Spokesfuckhead-in-Chief."

bewiggery

noun. Heaps of hair! Take care! Beware!

Real citation: "But this production, currently filming in County Clare, is not the flouncing posh-frocked bewiggery we've come to expect."
("Serpent's Kiss Article Text (From Last Month)," Dec. 8, 2000, The REG Temple, http://www.richard-e-grant.com/News/Archives/archive-122000.html)

Made-up citation: "Now that Alias is finished, I'll miss Victor Garber and Ron Rifkin the most, but Jennifer Garner's bewiggery and other charms will always have a special place in my pants."

group-grope-y

adj. Orgylicious.

Real citation: "But overall, these are a little too group-grope-y for me. I admit it, I'm a control freak... I like being able to select the recipients of my award-winning kisses, rather than have Fate (or a buncha drunk Lhoppers) do it for me."
(Atalanta, Aug. 14, 2001, http://www.yehoodi.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=166462&highlight=&sid=d098e39fd1a3d4ed0f0f4f05b12870c2)

Made-up citation: "I've only had one nearly group-grope-y sitch in my life. Amazingly, a vat of alcohol was involved."

nookie-mashing

noun. Not sure I can explain this one, but me likey the sound of it.

Real citation: "The L Word (Showtime) better bring back Dana Delany and fast. Playing a Senator on last night's episode, she was sharp, focused, and contained, packing more pow than all those younger actresses flopping their bodies and attitudes around. Her attempted seduction of Jennifer Beals' Bette was sexier and more insinuating than all the panting, heaving, instant-undress nookie-mashing they've been doing lately."
(James Wolcott, "The Pause that Refreshes," Jan. 30, 2006, http://jameswolcott.com/archives/2006/01/the_pause_that.php)

Made-up citation: "Since getting a puppy, I have had less energy to pursue nookie-mashing activities, though the puppy is El Chick Magneto. It's a paradox."

vagilina

noun. Brangelina's aptly named cha-cha, where the hoo-hoo-dilly of Mr. Pitt enjoys membership privileges.

Related terms: infangelina.

Real citation: "The naughty tongues of Hollyweird are in full 'wag' mode over recent reports that a Pitt/Jolie wedding is right around the corner, to be quickly followed by a baby hopping out of Angelina's 'vagilina.'"
(Ann Romano, "One Day at a Time," Jan. 12, The Portland Mercury, portlandmercury.com/portland/Content?category=22175&issue=35913)

Made-up citation: "If you gaze into the vagilina too long, your subscription to People will run out."

pillow-fighting-esque

adj. Mmm...male fantasy overload.

Real citation: "Well, I feel better then, that I didn't miss out on any Nadia/Rachel hair-braiding, pillow-fighting-esque slumber party behavior since Rachel had moved out. You think they could have thought to tell us, oh I don't know, before tonight?"
(kariyaki, "5-16/5-17: "Reprisal"/"All the Time in the World" 2006.05.22," May 22, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3141076&view=findpost&p=5321657)

Made-up citation: "Ultimate fighting is increasing in popularity and rarely described as 'pillow-fighting-esque.'"

tentaclicious

adj. Deliciously tentacled, much like a few of my relatives.

Real citation: "The new Octopons from the 50 Fathoms line would work well. They are nicely sculpted and tentaclicious!"
(Aaron T, Feb. 20, 2004, http://theminiaturespage.com/boards/msg.mv?id=15158)

Made-up citation: "If pigmen and other animal-human hybrids eventually rule the earth, I only hope, for the sake of the children, that our unholy, porky overlords will be tentaclicious."

bro-itude

noun. That's dude-itude--for men.

Real citation: "Next time on Exe-Jesus: Abram gets an "ah" and God tells him to cut off part of his dick as a sign of eternal bro-itude!"
(darksandal, Feb. 6, 2006, http://toiletpaperonline.typepad.com/the_blog/2006/02/
exejesus_genesi.html)

Made-up citation: "'Bros before hos' is a central tenet of French philosophy--uh, make that bro-itude."

peckerwoodedness

noun. Look deep into the eyes of a peckerwooded, prickish penishead, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "So legend/fact has it that Shuggie Otis was wanted for the Rolling Stones at one time or another. Listen to "Sweet Thing," and it's so clear why -- his guitar tone stiffens with the sort of brutal honesty/talent that Keith Richards hocked/'hoed over his lifetime to varying degrees, during varying degrees of peckerwoodedness."
(JW, "YR SKIVS IN A WAD," Sept. 1, 2001, Pop Cesspool, http://popcesspool.blogspot.com/archives/
2001_09_01_popcesspool_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "Judge a man not by the size of his peckerwoodedness. Just lop off his weenie."

Schiavotastic

adj. Brain dead? Though the hills may be alive with the sounds of cuckoo-bananas nuttery. Or maybe this word just refers to the frenzy surrounding Terry Schiavo.

Real citation: "Schiavotastic"
(John, "Schiavotastic," March 21, 2005, Dymaxion World, http://dymaxionworld.blogspot.com/2005/03/schiavotastic.html)

Made-up citation: "If the soup is Schiavotastic, I'll skip the soup."

motherfuckerload

noun. Sweet mother of fucker--that's a lot.

Related terms: motherfuckload.

Real citation: "Despite the fact that the Sex Pistols are conspicuous in their absence, this 4-CD motherfuckerload of pre-hardcore punk is downright spastic with both obvious and tarnished gems."
(Marc Savlov, Dec. 12, 2003, http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/dispatch/2003-12-12/music_string_all.html)

Made-up citation: "On a scale of zero to a motherfuckerload, how would you rate the aesthetic appeal of your toes?"

non-thongish

adj. Tasteful, genteel, and not in any way wedged in an ass.

Real citation: "Trish pulls Molly's pants down to reveal very non-thongish 'granny panties'!"
(Adam Kohen, July 4, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.pro-wrestling.wwf/msg/81a99def8bb67443?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Even in non-thongish attire, I am quite fetching, according to nine out of ten dentists."

pseudo-facty

adj. Truthy?

Real citation: "Secret societies that revere Mary Magdalene, Renaissance artists who doodle blasphemous in-jokes in the corners of their paintings, tubby cardinals desperate to make sure the general public doesn't find out that women really are the center of the universe: "The Da Vinci Code," a blend of pseudo-facty information and mischievous, provocative invention, is a flying meringue pie headed straight for the church's kisser."
(Stephanie Zacharek, "The Da Vinci Code," May 18, 2006, http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2006/05/18/da_vinci/)

Made-up citation: "My knowledge of history is pseudo-facty at best. Hamlet was a Moop, right?"

crap-diddly-yappy

adj. A flavor of crappy that would make Ned Flanders proud as a diddly doodly something or other.

Related terms: crap-diddly-yap, crap-diddly-ap, crap-diddly-dap, crap-diddly-crap-crap, crap-diddly-doo, crap-diddly-tastic.

Real citation: "I was in the shade when I took the pictures which is why they look so crap-diddly-yappy. I lightened them the best I could, but you get the gist of her glee."
(July 17, 2005, The Kidlet Chronicles, http://kidlet.typepad.com/the_kidlet_chronicles/2005/07/
what_a_weekend.html)

Made-up citation: "God doesn't make crap, but he does make a shitload of crap-diddly-yappy turd-like stuff."

social-issuey

adj. Serious business, my friends.

Real citation: "They aren't meant to be like Bollywood; they are American and British movies made by Indian immigrants or sons/daughters of immigrants. They are usually more social-issuey, less melodramatic, and more about the immigrant experience, which I can relate to a lot even as a non-desi. (The one exception is Bollywood/Hollywood, which totally is trying to mix Bollywood with Hollywood.)"
(jfung79, "Desi movies," Jan. 1, 2004, http://www.chatarea.com/BollyWHAT.m1802802-1)

Made-up citation: "It just doesn't seem right to describe Gandhi as a svelte, social-issuey studmeister."

coconut-testicled

adj. Endowed with primitive, prodigious, Pope-worthy ballitude.

Real citation: "And a coconut-testicled, 15-foot tall Locke throwing knives at a sentient cloud of black smoke? Oh, I'd keep watching, but I think I'd feel really dirty afterwards."
(Super, May 7, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3119603&view=findpost&p=5186968)

Made-up citation: "According to the OED, 'coconut-testicled' can first be found in a letter of Jane Austen's, though the related 'melon-balled' is much older."

spokeslunatic

noun. A batshit loonball with postal tendencies and public relations responsibilities.

Related terms: spokesbaby, spokesbat, spokeschimp, spokescrab, spokescrony, spokesdemon, spokesdipshit, spokesdoofus, spokesdude, spokes-fembot, spokesferret, spokeshottie, spokeslackey, spokesloony, spokesmaniac, spokesmartian, spokesmonkey, spokesmoron, spokesnomad, spokespuppet, spokespuppy, spokesvermin, spokesweasel, spokeswookie.

Real citation: "And who better to help her through this awkward phase than Canadian madman-turned-MTV spokeslunatic, Tom Green, her husband as of April."
(Cynthia Amsden, Oct. 18, 2001, http://www.seemagazine.com/Issues/2001/1018/screen1.htm)

Made-up citation: "If a spokeslunatic only drooled and barked, would he lose his job or get a promotion?"

meh-itude

noun. A state of apathy where residents would remove their eyeballs with sporks, if they weren't so stupefied.

Real citation: "Back again and no longer feeling the effects. Woke up early for the geology lab which was absurdly easy again, this was promptly followed by the geology lecture of meh-itude."
(Jan. 23, 2004, http://students.washington.edu/tkt84/blog_jan_23_2004.htm)

Made-up citation: "I finally started watching 24, but the first two episodes filled me with meh-itude. Every single character was boring, and the stereotypical teenage characters made me lose the will to live. Plus, the Palmer guy makes me think of car insurance, car insurance, car insurance, and taking a nap."

ass-pullage

noun. A metaphorical parlor trick involving a proctological wonder.

Related terms: asspull, ass-pullery.

Real citation: "Decipher's Starships handbook, perhaps? IIRC, the T'Kumbra was reused footage of the Prometheus from "Second Sight" (also reused as the Lexington from "Explorers") and the rest of those numbers were never seen onscreen, either. I smell me some ass-pullage!"
(MMoM, June 19, 2005, http://flare.solareclipse.net/cgi2/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=print_topic;f=6;t=002568)

Made-up citation: "As a writing teacher, I instruct students in the fine arts of rhetoric, ass-pullage, and spelling.”

not-dead-ness

noun. It's alive! Aaaiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Real citation: "CRAP (see this post for the CRAP 411): And by 'Barney', I mean either the dinosaur or the 'Miller'; neither one raises my tent in the slightest... though Abe Vigoda is impressive in maintaining his not-dead-ness for so long."
(Charlie, June 26, 2003, http://www.wherethehellwasi.com/categories/potty-talk-yes-im-a-pig/mans_new_best_friend.html)

Made-up citation: "Just as wellness centers replaced health centers, soon not-dead-ness facilities will be mega-mega-hip."

fuckingtacular

adj. Pretty much, specfuckingtacular.

Related words: fuckingtastic.

Real citation: "We then went to Allans Music store. They had so many fuckingtacular guitars & drum kits *drools…"
(clot_blood, Jan. 24, 2006, http://clot-blood.livejournal.com/1356.html)

Made-up citation: "On a scale of fuckingtacular to zilch, how would you rate your hair product?"

poopfacebutt

noun. A childish insult or anatomical curiosity.

Real citation: "hey sombrero, how are you doing? I'm gonna try to make this a good comment ok? hmmm.....yea so thats about all I can think of to say :( man I'm pathetic but at least you love me!!!! ok well umm poopfacebutt, pwned"
(Brian, April 2, 2006, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=4231810)

Made-up citation: "I'm proud to be a poopfacebutt, yet ashamed to be an asswipehead. Identity is complex and problematic."

dentistette

noun. A medical professional with feminine wiles and horrifying drills.

Related terms: dentistess.

Real citation: "Allllllrighty then...today, at 109:45 this morning...i was sitting in a dentist chair getting 2 cavities filled!!!! OH my mouth hurts soooooo much right now...and why??? OK...my mouth is sooooo gay...The dentist lady (dentistette??) gave me novacaine and after a while tested the spot to see how numb it was...well...it wasnt!!!"
(Janah, July 29, 2005, http://www.xanga.com/worsHIP_HOP4eva?nextdate=9%2F13%2F2005+22%3A44%3A30.403&direction=n)

Made-up citation: "My daughter the dentistette will dominate your ex-wife the exorcist."

girly-bits-related

adj. Groinocological.

Real citation: "In other girly-bits-related news, my left ovary (... I just typed 'uterus'. Yes, my left uterus. I am a Martian, you see. We have six. Back/front/top/bottom/left/right.) Anyway. My left ovary, it hates me. Quite a lot. And so does ol' Utey. CURSE YOU UTEY. But the latter hasn't been playing up too much, just its little accomplice. CURSE YOU."
("Chomp.," May 8, 2005, http://hereisadiary.diaryland.com/050508_34.html)

Made-up citation: "A girly-girl and a girly-man were discussing girly-bits-related stuff, until Wonder Woman dropped them like a bag of dirt."

unbiggify

verb. To teeny-weeny-ize.

Real citation: "Vivien, I like them all. Aren't you kind. When Rosie is being a scaredy cat, you tell her it's okay. When Mikey's being a scaredy cat, I call him a chickenshit and tell him to "unbiggify" his tail."
(Roberta, Feb. 3, 2004, http://www.able2know.com/forums/about3090-0-asc-220.html)

Made-up citation: "Hello Aries. According to the cosmic portents, nothing unbiggifies a boner like your face."

mini-Rasta-y

adj. Like a teeny-weeny Bob Marley.

Real citation: "And now for a brief word on Dixon's hair. I think it's fab. It's longer and kind of mini-Rasta-y, but it's great. It's totally not very CIA-ish, mind you, but it makes Dixon look cool, so I'm all for it. A lot of people on the boards were like, stinky! Stinky poo! But I like it. So shut up."
(Erin Dailey, "Maternal Instinct," page 1, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=75&story=9188)

Made-up citation: "With my thick, mangy locks, I could go mini-Rasta-y, mega-Rasta-y, or holy-god-check-out-that-hair."

come-dump-o-rama

noun. This may involve a strumpet.

Related terms: come-dump, cum-dump.

Real citation: "Come-Dump-O-Rama!"
(Adrian Ryan, "Celebrity I Saw U," March 23, 2006, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=31243)

Made-up citation: "I haven't read this Da Vinci Code thing. What does it suggest, that Mary motherhumpin' Magdalene wasn't a come-dump-o-rama?"

non-turdly

adverb. Non-excrementally.

Real citation: "This is one of the reasons why the stock-configured Mustang suspension is a turd. You can polish that turd by greatly increasing spring rates and only moderately lowering the car. Then, you can buff the turd out and add some perfume by replacing the rear suspension with a torque arm, losing the UCAs, and adding a proper lateral link such as a Panhard bar. This will allow you to put the rear RC where you want it. Finally, you can flush the turd and buy a Vette or NSX or some such car with a non-turdly suspension."
(Msquared, March 5, 2001, http://forums.corner-carvers.com/showpost.php?p=537&postcount=12)

Made-up citation: "Introducing my puppy to a non-turdly indoor lifestyle is more than a job; it's a frackin' adventure."

arch-nemesisness

noun. The essence possessed by all arch-nemesises, from Lex Luthor to Sideshow Bob.

Related terms: nemesisness, nemesisless.

Real citation: "since you’ve exchanged now greetings, he can no longer pretend he’s not aware of your arch-nemesisness. i’d proceed with caution if i were you."
(Patricia, March 2, 2005, http://wiw.org/~jess/archives/2005/03/02/fedora-and-cigar/)

Made-up citation: "Commander Cuckoo-Bananas has been so successful because no one in the Democratic party or the press has more arch-nemesisness than a dishrag soaked in milk and tears."

fucktardistic

adj. Not fucking scoring in the highest percentile of the SAT.

Real citation: "Ok, now that´s just fucktardistic to the third degree. And, yes, the posters for the original Saw had the exact same gimmick, so, I dunno why they didn´t say anything when the first one came out."
(Mr. Grouchy, Aug. 23, 2005, http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/comments/?entryid=232889)

Made-up citation: "I am not a God-fearing man, but I am a Goddamn fucktardistic dude."

assmunchitude

noun. Look deep into the soul or pants of an assmunch, and this ye shall find.

Related terms: buttmunchitude.

Real citation: "I have to say I'm proud of 'Jack' this week for showing much less assmunchitude during his farewell speech to Meri-De."
(myriad, "Outback Jack," July 29, 2004, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3117193&view=findpost&p=1738444)

Made-up citation: "Mike Judge discovered assmunchitude, much like Darwin discovered evolution. I have discovered that I need TP for my bunghole."

bugshitted

adj. Mentally wacky, with a pinch of bugfuck, a whiff of batshit, and a mound of postal.

Real citation: "Although Arcanum was love, VtM:B was released with a bug that pretty much keeled the game until the patch, and ToEE was a bugshitted mess that still hasn't been fixed (although some of the blame for that can be put on the publisher)."
(http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:uAQPYBx0HQ0J:www.cell-phones-info.us/pc-icons.html+bugshitted&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1)

Made-up citation: "When my puppy is in my lap, manically chomping on a toy frog, with a bugshitted gleam in his eye, I'm a happy puppy daddy."

jackasshead

noun. Jackhole plus asshole plus headhole minus three holes.

Real citation: "we ended up scalping tix for face outside, so we went in. they sounded great, except we had this jackasshead yelling the lines to every song standing right next to us. and I mean yelling."
(swetsatonic, May 20, 2004, http://poltz.com/vbulletin/printthread.php?s=9141f18c4d7e00c141ac741641a1d2e8&threadid=5557)

Made-up citation: "I'd rather be a jackasshead than an asshead. That's just the way I was raised."

toe lickage

noun. Mmm...toe-tongue-bath-fest.

Real citation: "Total Toe Lickage! All Evilrip ever want is to have his toes licked, for reasons unbeknownst to the common net addict. you should probably just ask him yourself!"
(http://www.feenyx.net/pplz.html)

Made-up citation: "Lipstick lesbians, lipstick librarians, and latte liberals love toe lickage, Lutherans lament."

lady balls

noun. The seat of testicular-fortitude-y power in the female frame of mind.

Real citation: "Folks, that takes balls--lady balls. We call 'em 'Thatchers.'"
(Stephen Colbert, April 24, 2006, The Colbert Report)

Made-up citation: "According to a recent poll, a lady with lady balls is preferable to a dude with man-boobs."

fetusesque

adj. Or maybe it's just a naked mole rat...

Real citation: "Jay Alan Sekulow of the Pat Robertson-affiliated American Center for Law and Justice -- what's that you say? A center for law and justice? And they're American? Whatever they say must be right -- says the center "decided to enter the case after concluding that acceptance of the gay rights arguments by the court might provide a constitutional foundation for same-sex marriage." The Family Research Council -- formerly headed by Gary Bauer, the most fetusesque presidential candidate since, well, Steve Forbes, who got into the 2000 race a couple of weeks before Bauer -- says that the Texas law represents "a reasonable means of promoting and protecting marriage -- the union of a man and a woman.""
(Joe Rospars, March 21, 2003, That Other Blog, http://thatother.blogspot.com/2003_03_01_thatother_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "Casual Friday has been more successful than Pagan rituals like Fetusesque Friday."

hamsterslaughter

noun. A crime of small, adorable proportions.

Related terms: dogslaughter, catslaughter, monkeyslaughter, ratslaughter, phoneslaughter.

Real citation: "LOL, if i did it was hamsterslaughter, im sure i wont be judged!"
(malibufighty, April 21, 2005, http://www.malibustacey.com/cgi-bin/bbs/webbbs_config.pl?noframes;read=5892)

Made-up citation: "If you're a snake, I'm pretty sure hamsterslaughter is legal (though not always carried out)."

non-honkified

adj. Non-whitey.

Real citation: "There’s a sushi joint in St. Bubba (the town where I work) that has become a favorite among my coworkers. Even Erin has been there; in the weird little downtown that comprises St. Bubba’s feistily non-corporate shopping drag (contrasted with its evil gentrified mall), there are number of funky (and sometimes even good) ethnic joints, including Burmese, more-than-adequate Mexican, and non-honkified Chinese."
(Dave, "Wait--This is Korean?", Jan. 4, 2006, http://www.chickenorbeef.net/wordpress/archives/2006/01/04/wait-this-is-korean/)

Made-up citation: "Lately, 'diverse' has been used as a synonym for 'black' or 'man, there's a lot of minorities here.' This non-diverse sense of 'diverse' also means 'non-honkified.'"

neurodoublefucked

adj. Brain go boom!

Real citation: "I am now officially a SHO in Care of the Neurofucked, albeit a slightly ill one. Since my hallowed instituition is a tertiary centre, everybody is intensely clever. So clever, in fact, that if they hear hooves then they just know it's gotta be a zebra. Being so terribly clever, we only deal with the really big cases. To get through our doors, it's no good just being neurofucked - no, let the plebs in the other hospitals deal with that. Baby, if you wanna hang with the wunderkinder then you gotta get yourself neurodoublefucked, and preferably in a confusing way."
(Jan. 6, 2006, Confessions of a Venial Sinner, http://venialsinner.blogspot.com/2006/01/arbeit-macht-frei.html)

Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'The neurodoublefucked shall inherit the earth.' And it didn't even take that long."

Odin-y

adj. Much like the God of thunder. Actually, more like the God of...one-eyed badasses with ravens?

Real citation: "Giles seems more 'Odin-y,' which the whole detached-from-the-fray Watcher thing, and the research / book-learnin' stuff subbing for Odin's watchful nature (having two Raven spies, Hugin and Munin, and an 'all-seeing throne' at the top of the world in Hildskialf) and knowledge of the runes, which are the keys to all things in creation."
(Set, "Making Our Own Fun: Rewriting 'Buffy,'" Sept. 15, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=2806070&view=findpost&p=3596340)

Made-up citation: "My new rat terrier is quite adorable, though not very Odin-y."

pigfornicator

noun. Pork-plooker. Bacon-boinker!

Real citation: "Or they're training the new Gertie to become Safe's "special friend" here on this newsgroup. Didn't our favorite pigfornicator lose his favorite target when the cult decided that Dennis Erlich was right all along about the Co$ being evil?"
(Chris Leithiser, June 10, 1999, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/
msg/539735b1eecc235f)

Made-up citation: "The way of the pigfornicator is a salty lifestyle indeed."

batcrapitude

noun. That's sheer lunacy!

Related terms: batshit loony, batshit whacko, batshit insane, batshit nutty, batshit nutso, super-batshit-insane, completely-fucking-batshit-insane, batshit-fucking-crazy, batshit-sounding, non-batshit, pre-batshit, anti-batshit, batshit loonball, holy batshit, batshittery, batcrap, batpoop.

Real citation: "But Galvy wins by sure badassitude. Or is it batcrapitude..."
(Malancthon, Feb. 15, 2005, http://forums.transfandom.com/invboard/index.php?showtopic=25479&st=20)

Made-up citation: "By the end of Lost, if every character is chock full o' bugfuck batcrapitude, I'll be a very happy boy."

anti-jeebusness

noun. Um, not that I would know anything about that. Nope. Not me. I love all religions, even the ones that believe in leprechauns and Xenu.

Real citation: "As for undisclosed anti-jeebusness, unless a product states that it contains nothing anti-jeebus, there's no reason to sue them. If I say that a movie contains no nudity, and it contains nudity, well, then I'm a lying dork."
(Nik, May 21, 2004, http://www.brosenbex.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=2135&view=previous&sid=40771e7b707561f66d9b004d41f2fd5e)

Made-up citation: "Since Christ was a cowboy, anti-jeebusness has made many a Christian say, 'Sweet jumping Jesus!'"

aneurysmometer

noun. A precise, metaphorical-aneurysm-detecting device.

Real citation: "Luckily, I have prepared for this eventuality, and had my science friends whip me up a handy Aneurysmometer."
("Cranium...or Lawn Sprinkler?" August 30, 2004, You Are Dumb, http://www.youaredumb.net/archive/2005/11/08)

Made-up citation: "How much for the smoothie-maker/aneurysmometer?"

anal-probish

adj. Oh, the humanity!

Real citation: "G, please don't confuse them with the people in an anal probish meeting for Area 51, the real men in black wear Hawaiian shorts, sandals and have shirts that say something like: "OMFG! I pwnz a 4d10 hammer!"."
(Amakusha, June 13, 2005, http://www.barracksnetwork.com/forum/printthread.php?t=2098)

Made-up citation: "Learn more about minimally anal-probish surgery and get a free bagel tonight!"

wack-assage

noun. Like pornography, hard to define and easy to spot.

Related terms: wackassitude.

Real citation: "Cyrus: 'Oh, good. I am not alone in the wack-assage.'"
(http://www.iago.net/amber/kings/sessions/001_quotes.html)

Made-up citation: "Warning: consumption of alcohol during pregnancy may result in wack-assage and crack-babyage."

groinly

adverb. Loinly

Real citation: "My next big injury didn't happen until 5 years later. Since no names are being mentioned, I could be quite candid about it. It was an inexperienced tea-bagging incident. Meant to be an awesome night, but ended up in a ball of awkwardness and groinly displeasure."
(Aug. 9, 2005, http://www.tabulas.com/~ghost_tree/954278.html)

Made-up citation: "'Groinly' is not a perfect substitute for 'crotchly,' as many Robert Frost poems unfortunately demonstrate."

jerkbuttface

noun. A fighting word, sure to impugn a nicknamee's character, face, and bippy.

Real citation: "I was seriously concerned when you mentioned you had a lump on your cock, although as Mildo mentioned that cancerous lumps typically grow on the nutsack. I'm glad it's not a serious lump, but thanks for the scare, jerkbuttface."
(Walid Khouretsoli, Sept. 8, 2005, http://groups.google.com/group/KILROY/msg/a535ccedcfe49292?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "As Billy Corgan wrote, 'The jerkbuttface in you is the jerkbuttface in me.'"

absofracking

adverb. For fans of Battlestar Galactica, an affirmative word.

Related terms: absodiddly, absoforking, absofreaking, absofricking, absofucking.

Real citation: "I absofracking love Gentoo..and linux as a whole. I just don't know what to do with the system."
(crab, June 27, 2004, http://www.spamjeebus.com/forum/printthread.php?t=1475)

Made-up citation: "Without the Seinfeld terms 'low talker,' 'high talker,' and 'close talker,' I absofracking don't know how I'd make fun of others' yakking deficiencies."

extraordinary equestrian

noun. A horsefucker.

Real citation: "Brushing them, caressing them, feeding them, riding them—these people are always with horses, and horses are always with them. So what truly differentiates an average equestrian from an extraordinary equestrian? One way or the other, both derive pleasure from horses."
(Charles Munde, "The Animal in You," Feb. 23, 2006, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=30811)

Made-up citation: "Being an extraordinary equestrian comes with extraordinary responsibilities. Whoops, he died, never mind."

stalkerifficness

noun. A very dudely quality.

Real citation: "Hee hee. I've had it for a while now. XD I'm all sneaky with the stalkerifficness, ne?"
(Chanie, Nov. 3, 2005, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=2978963)

Made-up citation: "Stalkerifficness is next to Godliness--if your God is a fucking psycho."

satanosity

noun. Look deep into the soul of Satan, a Satanic cult, or a plate of Satanically hot chicken wings, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "No other takers, eh? Well, you were close, sort of. No satanosity is involved, however. The obscure reference of the week is to the revised year of X-day, which for the uninformed in all things Yeti is the day the pleasure saucers come to take away those who have sufficient slack and have sent in their $30."
(May 30, 2002, groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.kibology/msg/2b4c1e76a184e095?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Neither my labradoodle Betty nor my cockerpoo Veronica has much satanosity."

sexbombish

adj. Possessing a veritable kerblooey of sexy, sexual, sexalicious qualities.

Real citation: "Ev, meanwhile, was played by Leslie Parrish. Ms. Parrish played a number of sexbombish roles in the ‘50s through the ‘70s. Her most famous role was as the fiancée of the Laurence Harvey character in the paranoid classic The Manchurian Candidate. Following this film she acted in two more crappy B-movies before retiring from the screen."
(Kem Begg, "Video Cheese," http://www.jabootu.com/vcnovohthree.htm)

Made-up citation: "Like the jackass penguin, the sexbombish aardvark is misnamed."

popcorn-action-flick-y

adj. With lots o' explosions and extra butter.

Real citation: "Good to see so many Wire fans. I love both shows. The Shield is a little popcorn-action-flick-y next to The Wire, but at the same time it is so much better than just about every thing else on tv."
(orion choachly, "The Shield," Feb. 11, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=1569855&view=findpost&p=4510752)

Made-up citation: "My life is neither popcorn-action-flick-y nor amateur-porny. It is somewhat minty."

jerkoffitude

noun. Usually, a metaphorical wankfest.

Related terms: days-offitude, lay-offitude, pissed-offitude, peel-offitude, rip-offitude, show-offitude.

Real citation: "Exhausting jerkoffitude? Lots."
(Steely Rob, "EPIC GLOBAL ORGIES," March 30, 2004, http://www.skullgame.com/archives/000640.html)

Made-up citation: "I thought I understood jerkoffitude well...then I went to grad school."