un-blue-beanie-ization

noun. A process not unlike un-green-fez-ization.

Real citation: "Un-blue-beanie-ization complete."
(Dec. 1, 2009, Dave Simon, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ds/statuses/6240323181)

Made-up citation: "I hate going through un-blue-beanie-ization. The things I put up with to be in this death cult..."

jolly-old-elf-edness

noun. A quality that cannot be found in nubile young orcs.

Real citation: "Leftoverpalooza rounds out the holiday weekend nicely. Now fixing my gaze on Xmas, psyching up for jolly-old-elf-edness & roast beast."
(Nov. 29, 2009, Charlie Toft, Twitter, http://twitter.com/beer_guy/statuses/6187977970)

Made-up citation: "I admire your jolly-old-elf-edness! I would admire it more if you were not a 29-year-old Cylon."

dumplingasm

noun. A moment of dumpling-derived joy that could result in pregnancy.

Real citation: "@sinewave77 Are you trying to give me a dumplingasm?"
(Dec. 9, 2009, Sarah Stanton, Twitter, http://twitter.com/mallardbranx/status/6492051513)

Made-up citation: "My sister gave me three dumplingasms! Is that a crime against nature or what?"

chode-dependent

adj. Sometimes, everything depends on a single chode.

Real citation: "(I would say chode-dependent) RT @margaretcho just said he was 'Chodependent'"
(Dec. 12, 2009, excitedstoat, Twitter, http://twitter.com/excitedstoat/status/6610053559)

Made-up citation: "Probably one of the least common words in wedding vows is chode-dependent. But higgledy-piggledy turns up five times a month."

bacon-fucking-geddon

noun. This would be a good death. A very good death.

Real citation: "@MargoEve According to everyone on my friendslist, it's bacon-fucking-geddon. seems to scare the shit out of everyone. had no *fucking* idea"
(Nov. 24, 2009, Scott DeathBoy, Twitter, http://twitter.com/deathboyuk/statuses/6003723971)

Made-up citation: "When faced with a mutant pig-man invasion, the only thing you can do is begin the bacon-fucking-geddon. At least that's what my bible tells me."

day-facingable

adj. Can-go-on-y.

Real citation: "Feeling much more day-facingable after taking a little club nap. Wish I had something to show for the last eighteen hours, though."
(Dec. 10, 2009, indiamos, Twitter, http://twitter.com/indiamos/status/6536043675)

Made-up citation: "My therapist is working on my ability to be day-facingable. After that, she said we're going to have a talk about the hostages..."

de-bedsheet-ify

verb. Bedsheets go bye-bye. What will the chambermaid say?

Real citation: "I writhe around and de-bedsheet-ify every bed I am ever on."
(Nov. 29, 2009, Elana, Twitter, http://twitter.com/elana_s/statuses/6192684536)

Made-up citation: "Don't de-bedsheet-ify me, mister! Did Dr. Vargas send you?"

eat-anything-and-not-become-a-fatass-itude

noun. Gluttonous and slim? USA! USA!

Real citation: "@mizzkaejae I am so incredibly envious of your eat-anything-and-not-become-a-fatass-itude >_____>"
(Dec. 3, 2009, Skifox, Twitter, http://twitter.com/foxonskis/statuses/6306751754)

Made-up citation: "My dog has ample amounts of eat-anything-and-not-become-a-fatass-itude. He doesn't gain an ounce, and he once ate a polar bear."

Batriculture

noun. The culture of the Batman, from whence all others spring.

Real citation: "It's time to teach Batriculture to these savages..."
(Dec. 10, 2009, TimeLostBatman, Twitter, http://twitter.com/TimeLostBatman/status/6543914460)

Made-up citation: "Probably the trickiest part of Batriculture is knowing how often to water the boy wonder."

lepersploitation

noun. One of the least titillating genres I can think of, aside from Don Rickles-ploitation.

Real citation: "I'm starting a new sub-genre of lepersploitation literature with the first graphic installment of LARPing Lepers."
(Nov. 16, 2009, Erin Doherty, Twitter, http://twitter.com/erin_jamal/status/5831131338)

Made-up citation: "'Would you like to star in a lepersploitation flick?' is not an effective pickup line, even in Jersey."

Nicolas Cage-tastrophe

noun. A terrible natural event, almost as tragic as a Robin Williams-tastrophe.

Real citation: "Is KNOWING a misunderstood masterpiece or another Nicolas Cage-tastrophe? Share your thoughts below! http://bit.ly/7wzZnx"
(Dec. 3, 2009, Quickflix, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Quickflix/statuses/6324407757)

Made-up: "I've avoided almost all Nicolas Cage-tastrophes. It's been a good life."

Kwanza-rita

noun. A holiday drink I'd be willing to mainline immediately.

Real citation: "Scotch Nog. This is the best idea I've had since Kwanza-ritas."
(Dec. 8, 2009, Michelle Wood, Twitter, http://twitter.com/EmLaRue/status/6479084067)

Made-up citation: "In my family, Festivus isn't complete without a Kwanza-rita and a big straw."

projectile-vomit-tastic

adj. Bazooka-barf-tacular.

Real citation: "I ignored my general slight intolerance to dairy stuff, because it's no biggie. My main thing I avoid, strangely, is cod. It's the only fish where even eating a small amount makes me go all Linda Blair projectile-vomit-tastic. |-("
(Aug. 13, 2008, Livejournal, http://ewx.livejournal.com/491247.html?thread=3343599#t3343599)

Made-up citation: "How do you like my poetry? Thumbs up, thumbs down, or projectile-vomit-tastic?"

business-man-donkey-thing

noun. An unholy crossbreed, probably created by the government or your mom.

Real citation: "Uh, hi there business-man-donkey-thing hanging out on Carmine: http://twitpic.com/s4hrl"
(Dec. 4, 2009, Ben Breier, Twitter, http://twitter.com/misterdisco/status/6345385350)

Made-up citation: "I got a business-man-donkey-thing for Christmas. I asked for a pony. I hate my life."

boo-hoovianism

noun. A weepy philosophy quite unrelated to choo-choovianism

Real citation: "A misanthropic friend emailed me today to complain about sentimental 'save-the-animals boo-hoovianism.'
I disagree with what he says, but I will fight to the death to promote his neologism as Word of the Year.
(Well, maybe not to the *death* exactly....)"
(Dec. 4, 2009, Jonathan Lighter, American Dialect Society listserv)

Made-up citation: "I subscribe to the school of boo-hoovianism. I even believe that fish and New Zealanders have souls and feel pain."

flatul-ometer

noun. A keen, you-smelt-it-you-dealt-it-detecting device.

Real citation: "Flatul-ometer reading v high on train. Morning guffs aplenty from co-commuters. Breathing through jumper. Wrong."
(Nov. 27, 2009, Steve Potter, Twitter, http://twitter.com/stevepotter1/statuses/6106163772)

Made-up citation: "Can you get your gaydar and flatul-ometer repaired at the same shop?"

abso-aaaaahh-choo-lutely

adv. Fuckin' allergies. I hate God, and he hates me.

Real citation: "@sneakertim Abso-- aaaaahh-CHOO! --lutely."
(June 11, 2009, Matt Powell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/fauxparse/statuses/2125365078)

Made-up citation: "I like cats. I would have cats, if I weren't abso-aaaaahh-choo-lutely certain they would kill me to death with a vengeance."

sweaty monster syndrome

noun. The worst part of dealing with Frankenstein isn't the murder and mayhem, but the B.O.

Real citation: "@enjoyinsanity um have we met? do we not have the same sweaty monster syndrome? yeah Jacob=sweaty monster syndrome (SMS)"
(Nov. 27, 2009, Lindsey Mitchell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/xdeadfredx/statuses/6127418483)

Made-up citation: "The top pet peeve of Dracula is sweaty monster syndrome. Number two? Werewolves borrowing his jet."

girlfriend-ifying

verb. A process that can only be undertaken by the CIA, my nemesis Dr. Vargas, or a girlfriend. That's a pretty exclusive club.

Real citation: "Girlfriend-ifying the boyfriend's room. He's going to get a surprise when he gets home. The drumkit stays though. For now."
(Nov. 19, 2009, Erin Van Der Meer, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ErinLVee/statuses/5880975369)

Made-up citation: "My bathtub could definitely use a solid girlfriend-ifying. Or a terrorist attack with anthrax. One or the other."

celebu-scum

noun. Scum that hit the big time--an inspiration to all the little scum out there.

Real citation: "@marthastewart - just another liberal caught doing insider trading. Same arrogance - different celebu-scum."
(Nov. 23, 2009, David Henderson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/TheGenuineDavid/statuses/6000582707)

Made-up citation: "I have no respect for scum-scum, but I will defile myself before celebu-scum. That's just how I was raised."

snot-nose-ette

noun. A snot-nosed punk with feminine wiles.

Real citation: "Mise en scene... Little Jr. Snot-Nose & Snot-Nose-ette come to school... they breathe their germs all over Aegee..."
(Nov. 24, 2009, Robyn BaylorChamplin, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LadyRobyn/statuses/6016306047)

Made-up citation: "I may look like a merciless Viking marauder who eats orphans and bunnies, but on the inside, I'm just an adorable little snot-nose-ette."

fogey-osity

noun. A quality found in geezers, coots, grandpas--and, for some reason--Pinkerton the cat.

Real citation: "@MissCellany have them, have them. May I compound my fogey-osity further by also declaring it 'most excellent'? Thank you so much."
(Nov. 26, 2009, Rachael Beale, Twitter, http://twitter.com/FlossieTeacake/statuses/6094020947)

Made-up citation: "I'm not old yet, but I have plenty of fogey-osity. I even nuked my own lawn just to get the kids off it."

fan-muppet-tastic

adj. A kid-friendly version of fan-fucking-tastic.

Real citation: "@Messshy I've been chatting to Sharon Corr about it and RTed on youtube...*name drop* It's fan-muppet-tastic!!! Can't stop watching it! x"
(Nov. 27, 2009, Andalucian Kitty, Twitter, http://twitter.com/AndalucianKitty/statuses/6125134250)

Made-up citation: "Kids today think Elmo is fan-muppet-tastic... But they don't know what I know. In the seventies, Elmo lived on coke and Satanism--and that was on a good day."

sweet-potato-pie-gasm

noun. A moment of joy. And gluttony. And pie.

Real citation: "sweet-potato-pie-gasm"
(Nov. 27, 2009, rachael1042, Twitter, http://twitter.com/rachael1042/statuses/6124476220)

Made-up citation: "I need a wife who can give me multiple sweet-potato-pie-gasms. I won't settle for reverse cowgirl."

journalist-ic-y-ish

adj. All the news that's fit-y-ish to print.

Real citation: "Palin whines: Couric asked 12 different times about abortion. It's called "follow-up," Ma'am. It's journalist-ic-y-ish stuff."
(Nov. 16, 2009, Andy Cobb, Twitter, http://twitter.com/andycobb/statuses/5779533973)

Made-up citation: "My background is journalist-ic-y-ish... In fact, I was the first American journalist to report on the smurf-leprechaun war. Suck on that, CNN."

nu-diddly-ude

adj. Ned Flanders in Playgirl?

Real citation: "Nu-diddly-ude. I still laugh at the irony that the Playboy CEO is named Flanders http://is.gd/52Fp8- #immaturity #simpsons"
(Nov. 24, 2009, Kevin Kosh, Twitter, http://twitter.com/kidko92/statuses/6010545319)

Made-up citation: "In college, I was nu-diddly-ude in a play. I'd do it again, if howler monkeys started yodeling out of my butt."

name-pun-mageddon

noun. Doctors call this a major, major, major "owie".

Real citation: "Flavor Flav's hype-disbelief LIES, Twin Peaks and Joy Orbison's name-pun-mageddon: http://bit.ly/fwlVv"
(Nov. 19, 2009, A New Band a Day, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ANewBandADay/statuses/5862981964)

Made-up citation: "I'll take a blood-pocalypse over a name-pun-mageddon any day. I have a low tolerance for pain."

over-butter-ization

noun. Is there such a thing? I'm an atheist on the matter.

Real citation: "@Colorhungry please tell me where to join! I'm officially nauseated from over-butter-ization of the corny-ness."
(Nov. 14, 2009, Josie Maurer, Twitter, http://twitter.com/YumYucky/statuses/5723193347)

Made-up citation: "Don't blame the cook for over-butter-ization. Blame him for snorkeling your wife. Priorities, dude!"

vampire moistness disorder

noun phrase. An affliction as common as swine flu or being a buttmunch.

Real citation: "So there you have it Ms Harker’s list of Fantastic Seductive Vampires, it is by no means exhaustive, however is guaranteed to give you a serious case of Vampire Moistness Disorder."
(Oct. 10, 2009, Musings Across a Continuum, http://www.musingcontinuum.com/2009/10/10/vampiric-sexpots-you-cant-handle-all-the-lushness-i-have-cause-its-so-fanaglicious/)

Made-up citation: "I don't understand vampire moistness disorder... I'm only attracted to smurfs."

British-y-esque-ish

adj. English-y-esque-ish

Real citation: "Britsh-y-esque-ish?!"
(Nov. 14, 2009, TokikoChan, Twitter, http://twitter.com/TokikoChan/statuses/5719962174)

Made-up citation: "I'm not too British-y-esque-ish. I wouldn't know a scone if it shaved my balls."

crotchface-itude

noun. Not an asset in all situations, no matter what your mom says.

Real citation: "And thanks, @opineda, for bringing @katsterisk's vile douchebaggery to my attention. Her moist morning crotchface-itude."
(Nov. 12, 2009, Laurie Hayes, Twitter, http://twitter.com/accostherwilde/status/5655388717)

Made-up citation: "The Old and New Testaments have divergent teachings on crotchface-itude, according to the Bible."

bedtime-ologist

noun. Scientifically speaking, it is time to hit the sack. Suck on that, peer-review process.

Real citation: "Leading bedtime-ologist: http://wp.me/prAv5-bp"
(Nov. 7, 2009, Summer Leigh, Twitter, http://twitter.com/tellstories/statuses/5502898178)

Made-up citation: "Parents are great bedtime-ologists--or so they think. Actually, the healthiest bedtime for a child is 4 a.m., and most children don't need shelter or food."

shoe-tastrophe

noun. Of all the body parts, feet are most prone to an apocalypse.

Real citation: "almost had a shoe-tastrophe on Metra's escalator. My beautiful shoe was stuck in the gap with my foot as I stepped on."
(Nov. 9, 2009, Caroline Hill-Thomas, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Chicago_C_Line/statuses/5572620762)

Made-up citation: "I've never had a shoe-tastrophe, but I've lived through many ear-wax-geddons. *shiver*"

brew-manity

noun. Beer *is* human. I can prove it by marrying one.

Real citation: "Prediction: RedEye's headline for story mentioned in preceding tweet: 'Oh, the Brew-manity!'"
(Nov. 11, 2009, Zac Thompson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/zeekaytee/statuses/5629974682)

Made-up citation: "There is no statute of limitations for crimes against brew-manity. Yes, honey, I'm still upset about that time you spilled my beer in Pittsburgh."

mustache-alypse

noun. A type of hairmageddon.

Real citation: "Tonight We Herald The Coming Mustache-alypse."
(Nov. 12, 2009, Marc Brubaker, Houstonist, http://houstonist.com/2009/11/12/the_mustache-alypse_mustaches_for_k.php)

Made-up citation: "The mustache-alypse has long been foretold! A lot of these prophets were real hair nazis."

Cylon-istic

adj. Mechanical... Evil... Sexy... Clone-y... Um, can I have some privacy?

Real citation: "Take that Space Faucet! Ok, it's not from space, but it is chromey and Cylon-istic looking."
(Nov. 7, 2009, senorpaco, Twitter, http://twitter.com/senorpaco/statuses/5523508789)

Made-up citation: "I need to be more Cylon-istic. I bet I'll get more dates and destroy more civilizations that way."

dairy-splosion

noun. Lactose-gasm!

Real citation: "I just poured milk all over this ice cream. It's a dairy-splosion. (Seriously though, try it.)"
(Nov. 14, 2009, Amy Y., Twitter, http://twitter.com/spasticartist/statuses/5725140162)

Made-up citation: "If I bathe in milk stout, does that count as a dairy-splosion? Or just garden-variety alcoholism?"

re-blue-ified

verb. It often happens to a smurf who was bleached.

Real citation: "Getting my hair re-blue-ified."
(Nov. 12, 1009, Katie Bechtold, Twitter, http://twitter.com/bokunenjin/statuses/5653923133)

Made-up citation: "I re-blue-ified my foot. Or maybe I'm just dead? Save me, Thor!"

special-post-finale-thingy-mabob

noun. A staple of the television genre, going back to the first time Sam and Diane had sex with Howard Cosell.

Real citation: "going to watch the Prison Break special-post-finale-thingy-mabob and sort out the crap I've collected the last three years! #fb"
(June 1, 2009, Mike Thomas, Twitter, http://twitter.com/michaelthomas/statuses/1995421715)

Made-up citation: "I miss The Shield. And not for any special-post-finale-thingy-mabobs. There's never been a character like Vic Mackey, who could find a place in your heart while planting evidence in your pocket. Sigh."

Hurt-butt-istan

noun. A place where your bippy is an owie.

Real citation: "If you remember this about all of us here in Hurt-butt-istan, that we're all Buddhas-to-be, then there's no danger of dehumanizing."
(lioncity.net, link dead)

Made-up citation: "I don't want to go to Hurt-butt-istan again! Spank another disciple, Oprah!"

oversimplification-palooza

noun. That's like saying the orcs control both political parties. Duh, it's the smurfs!

Real citation: "oversimplification-palooza provided by Andy Kessler #defragcon"
(Nov. 11, 2009, Ian Glazer, Twitter, http://twitter.com/iglazer/statuses/5622287770)

Made-up citation: "Most teaching seems to involve giving students one oversimplification-palooza after another. But that's not how I teach. There's nothing like voodoo and ninja throwing stars to enhance critical thinking and convey complexity, believe me."

non-squooshy-ness

noun. Firm. Strong. Dare I say "buns of steel"?

Real citation: "On my last post Kathie commented on the non-squooshy-ness of my butt as I commented on her blog on it's squooshy-ness. (And then she squooshied and I squooshied and she knew I squooshied and I knew she knew I squooshied.)"
(Jan. 20, 2006, The Absent Minded Housewife, http://www.absentmindedhousewife.com/2006/01/omg-becky-look-at-her-butt.html)

Made-up citation: "I admire the non-squooshy-ness of your body. Yet I fear the giant spears of your henchgoons. What a pickle."

Samurai-ette

noun. A Samurai with feminine wiles--and feminine swords too.

Real citation: "Tarantino fans take note, this six-issue Marvel miniseries (which concludes this week as issue 6 hits the racks) was made for you. Originally created by Marvel in the '70s, deadly Samurai-ette Colleen Wing and tough talking ex-cop Misty Knight - who easily could be mistaken for Beatrix "The Bride" Kiddo and Jackie Brown respectively - return to prominence as bail bondswomen who make a living tracking down B-list costumed villains who evade the law. While "Daughters" is in no way groundbreaking, it is nothing if not fun. Full of over-the-top martial arts violence, cheesy dialog and oddball villains who most likely haven't seen print for decades, this is pure comic book escapism."
(July 19, 2006, Online Athens, http://www.onlineathens.com/stories/072006/marquee_20060720008.shtml)

Made-up citation: "I just want to date one Samurai-ette before I die, probably at her hands... Is that too much to ask?"

blah-blah-blah-ology

noun. The science of yada yada whatever, man.

Real citation: "Finally, I have immersed myself in science classes during the spring semester. I am currently taking 19 credits of blah-blah-blah-ology, and I embrace the elegance of scientific methods. I engraved the entire purine salvage pathway on a grain of basmati rice, and composed an interpretive dance that captures the drama of the aortic arch. I believe both of these activities demonstrate my preparation for success in the academic rigors of your medical school."
(April 20, 2006, Student Doctor Network Forums, http://forums.studentdoctor.net/archive/index.php/t-275131.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm so glad I majored in blah-blah-blah-ology. I would hate to have wasted my life."

pull-out-of-arse-omatic

adj. May require the services of a proctologistette.

Real citation: "But other then that, they would have to use treks trick of using Bullshit'itrons and tachiospasmatically induced Pull-out-of-arse-omatic chambers. Or just have a twin brother who has the same genetic memory as Aphosis... which is actually a valid plot twist in Stargate"
(Dec. 19, 2002, SpaceBattles.com, http://forums.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?t=40755&page=2)

Made-up citation: "I resist all pull-out-of-arse-omatic activities. My brain just feels right in there. Nice and snug."

egg-manity

noun. Hey, eggs are human too.

Real citation: "Dont laugh... my chickens have been eating their own eggs since the first time it rained last year! They were kept inside their pen and weren't allowed to free range around the yard for about three days.. they were bored and cranky and found and egg and comitted crimes against egg-manity :) They haven't forgotten how good they taste either! (Ewww)"
(Dec. 13, 2005, ABC Online Forum, http://www2b.abc.net.au/science/k2/stn/archives/archive99/newposts/1971/topic1971533.shtm)

Made-up citation: "As a little kid, I hated eggs, so I missed out on many delicious dishes. Hey, at least I wasn't at war with egg-manity, a conflict no one can win."

friends-with-benefiting-it-up

verb. Hootchie-kootchie-ing and so forth, I reckon.

Real citation: "And tell him that while he'll have a blast with you two, he shouldn't pass on a date with a potential boyfriend—but so long as you three are friends-with-benefiting-it-up, you would like to be informed about any other sexual contacts he might have."
(Aug. 20, 2009, Dan Savage, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=2069897)

Made-up citation: "Humans aren't the only species renowned for friends-with-benefiting-it-up. Some of those hump-happy hounds in the park aren't even dating!"

teacher-ploitation

noun. Not quite as popular as nunsploitation. For obvious reasons.

Real citation: "If you're into Japanese exploitation films, try 'Birds of Prey.' I guess it would qualify as teacher-ploitation. One suspects that every vocation that traditionally employs young women has probably got its own exploitation genre in Japan."
(July 28, 2006, 2 Blowhards, http://www.2blowhards.com/archives/2006/07/the_nuns_story.html)

Made-up citation: "I've directed many teacher-ploitation classics. My best pic was probably Gym Teachers on the Moon."

enormo-battle

noun. A chicken-fight with your cousin may not qualify.

Real citation: "Additionally, I feel as if path-finding isn’t quite as good in this game as it had been in Men Of War. It’s exacerbated enormously by the problems with the boats, so much so that I went back and played the original to check. Of course it’s exactly the same engine, and so the same glitchiness is still there: men retracing their steps before actually setting off in the direction you’ve pointed them in. Nevertheless it does seem more prevalent in Red Tide. Perhaps that’s because of the boats, or because of the amount of focus on small unit action, where you’re focusing on the exploits of just a few men. The up-scale enormo-battles are here, but I they’re not quite as regular as in the original."
(Nov. 3, 2009, Jim Rossignol, Rock, Paper, Shotgun, http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2009/11/03/wot-i-think-men-of-war-red-tide/)

Made-up citation: "Is America prepared for the coming enormo-battle with the smurfs? I hope so. Those blue bastards aren't afraid to pee on your carpet. Or did you do that again, sis? I hate my life."

man-hate-y-ish

adj. May indicate a not-so-pleasant disposition toward the penis-having.

Real citation: "I feel man hate-y-ish..."
(Aug. 20, 2009, Tiffany Robles, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LostTeapot182/statuses/3437270473)

Made-up citation: "I can't blame women for being man-hate-y-ish. I can't blame the Yeti either, for entirely different reasons I cannot disclose."

Hall & Oates Repressed Memory Syndrome

noun phrase. The silent killer? I wish.

Real citation: "@markaelrod @sarahnbay Sorry, Hall & Oates Repressed Memory Syndrome is one of several curses for my generation. (See also, Air Supply)"
(Oct. 31, 2009, Jimmy Shaw, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jimmycshaw/statuses/5327411451)

Made-up citation: "No one knows how many families are affected by Hall & Oates Repressed Memory Syndrome, but we believe it's highly correlated with organ thievery."

wannabe-istic

adj. Poser-y, I reckon.

Real citation: "Wtf. My sister is so wannabe-istic. HAHA. remember jane? (;"
(Oct. 29, 2009, nadhirah jamaludin, Twitter, http://twitter.com/nadhirahhh/statuses/5256286726)

Made-up citation: "Norse mythology fails to record what a wannabe-istic god Thor really was. Also, Jesus had a much bigger hammer, which he often used to bludgeon merchants and elves."

nutbuggeryfest

noun. A real cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs-palooza.

Real citation: "Just once I want to post something cool about Apollo w/o the comments turning into an Apollo Denier nutbuggeryfest."
(Oct. 30, 2009, Phil Plait, Twitter, http://twitter.com/BadAstronomer/status/5293864456)

Made-up citation: "I wouldn't call my family reunion a nutbuggeryfest... That's for the medical profession and SWAT team to decide."

Shaqlessness

noun. A condition, situation, state of being, or gazebo with no Shaq at all.

Real citation: "Cavaliers Coach Mike Brown experimented with Shaqlessness for a stretch in last night's loss to Toronto."
(Oct. 29, 2009, Henry Abbott, True Hoop, http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/10158/thursday-bullets-147)

Made-up citation: "Shaqlessness is no less a problem than homelessness. Here's why: A family of three homeless people could open up Shaq with their lightsaber and live in him, just like Han and Luke did in The Empire Strikes Back. You're welcome, homeless people."

stand-up-itude

noun. A quality found in the comedic, the courageous, and the non-lying-down-y.

Real citation: "applauding your stand-up-itude RT @burghbaby: Why I pulled out of The contest is here http://bit.ly/2geMiB. I can't say I'm sorry enough"
(Oct. 22, 2009, theburghboy, Twitter, http://twitter.com/theburghboy/statuses/5085970843)

Made-up citation: "I wish I had more stand-up-itude... I spend far too much time hunched over like a monkey fucking a football, an expression not endorsed by Mr. Manners."

un-flat-ishy

adj. Curvy; bulgy; bulbous; jagged; spiked; protuberance-y.

Real citation: "And I also feel that this book is more precious to me because I earned it, instead of just asking Mummy to buy it for me. So if I eventually do lend it out, please, please, please don't lose it, bend the pages/spine, put it flat down, leave any coffee (or anything else for that matter) stains, don't open the book too widely, don't put bookmarks inside cause it'll make the pages un-flat-ishy, don't put it into your handbag cause it'll damage the sides, don't hold it against your body (like how you carry your textbooks in your hand) cause it bends the pages at the bottom, don't put anything on top of the book cause it can leave small dents/scratches on the book cover and etc. Just please, take very, very good care of it."
(March 31, 2009, Hidden Potatoes, http://hiddenpotatoes.blogspot.com/2009_03_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "Science hasn't been the same since we learned the earth is un-flat-ishy and bears need to eat three orphans a day to survive. Mom tells me lots about science!"

nicker-wuffle

noun. Hmm, It's definitely a sound. And it's cute. Maybe it comes from a meerkat?

Real citation: "Zelda just ate some 'meaty loaf' and seems happier. She's hurting a lot though. She just looks at me and makes little nicker-wuffle noises"
(Oct. 14, 2009, notsusie, Twitter, http://twitter.com/notsusie/status/4874595626)

Made-up citation: "This steak is so rare it's still nicker-wuffling. Oh well, odds are I'll be somebody's steak someday--somebody like Dr. Vargas! Damn him!"

colleague-icide

noun. Not as cute as smurficide.

Real citation: "Is the murder of an infuriatingly useless co-worker 'colleague-icide' or supporting 'work life balance'? Something to ponder, y'all."
(Oct. 21, 2009, Raynor Blazely, Twitter, http://twitter.com/raynie/statuses/5063717021)

Made-up citation: "One of the most common workplace hazards is colleague-icide; also, many employees fall in vats."

cluster-sexual-intercourse

noun. A tastefully named clusterfuck, fit for a tea party.

Real citation: "Point being, 32 man TF2 turns into a cluster sexual intercourse of rocket and grenade spam, the maps are not desinged to hold 32 man, its makes defence impossible and attacking way too easy."
(May 26, 2009, Biohaze Gaming, http://forum.biohazegaming.com/index.php?topic=548.0)

Made-up citation: "With smurfs fighting elves for precious leprechaun droppings, the underworld is becoming one giant tiny cluster-sexual-intercourse."

orgasmic-splosion

noun. This is more than you can handle, joy boy. Just move along now.

Real citation: "Today's playlist is mostly Sixpence None the Richer and TLC and Liz Phair, of course. 90's orgasmic-splosion."
(Jordan Burnham, July 2, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/physigory/statuses/2443104576)

Made-up citation: "I'm not really an orgasmic-splosion kind of guy. I prefer to show great pleasure by wincing slightly less than usual."

oxymoron-esque-ness

noun. The new poster child for this term is the teacup pig. Teacup pig! You can't make this stuff up.

Real citation: "the oxymoron-esque-ness of it would work. a place where PUBLIC FIGURES can meet PRIVATELY to discuss their paranoia and distrust for others."
(Aug. 20, 2009, Chris Crocker, Twitter, http://twitter.com/chriscrocker/statuses/3425762189)

Made-up citation: "If 'teacup pig' doesn't have enough oxymoron-esque-ness for you, wait till you see my teacup elephants, which make the perfect playmate for a gentle toddler or hamster."

piss-off-istic

adj. Prone to rage, even salad bar rage, which has taken the lives of so many people and tiny tomatoes before their time.

Real citation: "Great Alice lyric: I'm so pessi-mystic, I'm so piss-off-istic."
(Aug. 19, 2009, Rebecca Clements, Twitter, http://twitter.com/kinokofry/statuses/3405747150)

Made-up citation: "When I start feeling piss-off-istic, I just imagine my enemies pooped their pants. Or I start dropping boulders on them. Whatever."

fireplace-ologist

noun. Such a warm and inviting expert! Would you like to date my sister?

Real citation: "Jodi is a fireplace-ologist"
(Oct. 20, 2009, Dasha Kelly, Twitter, http://twitter.com/dashakelly/statuses/5021055465)

Made-up citation: "Don't bring a fireplace-ologist to a fireball-ologist fight. Rookie mistake!"

stuff-alanche

noun. A crap-tastrophe that is a constant hazard of living in clutter/squalor/my place.

Real citation: "@LouLouFord know what he means. I live in a stuff-alanche too. trouble is every time I attempt a clear out I start thinking I might need it."
(Oct. 6, 2009, Sam Baker, Twitter, http://twitter.com/SamAtRedmag/status/4649970098)

Made-up citation: "So far, I've found only one response to a stuff-alanche that works: cannibalism. Well, it does take your mind off it..."

Michelletertainment

noun. An unholy yet spiffy blend of entertainment and Michelle, who is already pretty entertaining. That's why the elderly are cautioned to avoid this concept entirely.

Real citation: "This evening's Michelletertainment has been cancelled due to a lack of stimulation for the headliner. If you need me, I'll be in bed."
(Oct. 18, 2009, Michelle Wood, Twitter, http://twitter.com/EmLaRue/status/4981671409)

Made-up citation: "We apologize profusely, but all of tonight's Michelletertainment will be provided by Julie. Refunds are available."

bachelorette-ify

verb. To add bachelorette-iness to a given location, such as a gazebo.

Real citation: "What a yucky day. But Sarah's coming!! And tomorrow it's off to Savannah to bachelorette-ify the town."
(Oct. 16, 2009, Jordan Freeman, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Bajlak/statuses/4922905853)

Made-up citation: "You will never bachelorette-ify me, Dr. Vargas! Never! If you try, you'll never see that duck again."

Golden Pug-huahua

noun. A relative of the proud and noble wienerhuahua, I reckon.

Real citation: "Family symposium: best dog ever. We have finally reached a compromise with Golden Pug-huahua."
(Oct. 10, 2009, Liz Colman MacDonald, Twitter, http://twitter.com/maclizzy/status/4767011297)

Made-up citation: "Oooh, I like your Golden Pug-huahua! I have a French meerkat-huahua at home, but don't tell anyone, because I don't think I was supposed to use those stem cells."

Martha Stewart-y-ness

noun. A quality found in different quadrants than Don Rickles-y-ness.

Real citation: "It's cold & rainy out, leaving me feeling gray today. I'm off to make a half hearted attempt at Martha Stewart-y-ness & look for wool socks."
(Oct. 6, 2009, Chastity33, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Chasity33/statuses/4657325219)

Made-up citation: "If he's a good cook with a well-organized kitchen, then even a cannibal can be said to have a dollop of Martha Stewart-y-ness."

prostitute-ology

noun. The field that studies the pimp, the ho, and the john--not to mention my sister! Did I say that out loud?

Real citation: "@Phlyyphreddy19 but then if yer getting paid for it , it'd be considered prostitute-ology :/ lmao"
(Oct. 14, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/debCakes_xO/statuses/4873252721)

Made-up citation: "I enjoyed Butters' exploration of prostitute-ology on South Park this week. That's the most surprising cartoon character development since Linus joined the cartel."

non-grave-robbing

adj. A word I always include in my resumes and online dating ads. You can't be shy about your strengths!

Real citation: "Playing kid-friendly, non-grave-robbing version of Ghosts in the Graveyard"
(June 6, 2005, Six Months of Solitude, http://www.sixmonthsofsolitude.org/blog/category/smos/lapsus)

Made-up citation: "After years of scholarship, I have determined that all but one episode of Seinfeld can be characterized as non-grave-robbing. If only my family had a similar batting average..."

reply-to-allpocalypse

noun. An email hazard that is particularly common among people the medical profession calls "fucking idiots".

Real citation: "There is a Reply-To-Allpocalypse happening at work. So far 70 emails strong..."
(Sept. 23, 2009, Kristina Millar, Twitter, http://twitter.com/kjmillar/status/4314457650)

Made-up citation: "Today's reply-to-allpocalypse was a real bummer... Then again, maybe one of my co-workers will know how to get stubborn stains out of a testicle."

testosterone-a-palooza

noun. Macho headgames, anyone?

Real citation: "Nothing brings out my 'bah, humbug' like the testosterone-a-palooza known as Fleet Week."
(Oct. 8, 2009, Nancy Friedman, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Fritinancy/status/4720625113)

Made-up citation: "Every day is a testosterone-a-palooza for me. I also ooze sex appeal and motor oil."

getting-ready-to-fly-to-Canberra-tonight-iness

noun. Well, it beats getting-ready-to-fly-out-of-my-butt-iness. 'Cause my pooper lives up to the name, believe me.

Real citation: "Today: family time, shopping, packing, and general getting-ready-to-fly-to-Canberra-tonight-iness. #conflux"
(Sept. 30, 2009, Felicity Dowker, Twitter, http://twitter.com/FelicityDowker/statuses/4509686705)

Made-up citation: "Getting-ready-to-fly-to-Canberra-tonight-iness is a nice feeling. It totally beats venereal warts."

Chuck E. Cheese-istan

noun. Ah, such a magical land of children--except for lactose intolerant crib lizards.

Real citation: "Where the hell are we? Chuck E Cheese-istan?"
(Sept. 29, 2009, sleeplessinva, Twitter, http://twitter.com/sleeplessinva/statuses/4470616493)

Made-up citation: "When your kids want to go to Chuck E Cheese-istan but you need a quick visit to Grain Alcohol-ville, why not do both? Parenthood is about making it work."