electro-torture-ologist

noun. Has a somewhat different specialty than the much sought-after electro-cuddling-ologist.

Real citation: "back from my electro-torture-ologist"
(June 10, 2009, Kathryn Winters, Twitter, http://twitter.com/kathrynwint/statuses/2109237053)

Made-up citation: "I presume an electro-torture-ologist engages in deforesting of the nether-regions... Do they do butt hair too? I'm asking for a friend."

super-mega-butt-crack-destroying

adj. Not a quality I appreciate in underoos.

Real citation: "#crapsuperpowers the ability to fly for 12 hrs a time, but ONLY after you've received a super-mega-butt-crack-destroying old timey wedgie"
(June 9, 2009, Chester McNabb, Twitter, http://twitter.com/chetoftheundead/status/2100293084)

Made-up citation: "Anyone want to buy a pair of hardly used, mint condition, super-mega-butt-crack-destroying nethergarments? These deals won't last!"

sod-mothering

adj. Even sod needs a mommy... Adopt a sod today.

Real citation: "Oh my sod-mothering heavens. I have just played the Tristan Chord on Wagner's Steinway. A piano Liszt played also. And Rubinstein. *faints*"
(June 28, 2009, Stephen Fry, http://twitter.com/stephenfry/statuses/2369926238)

Made-up citation: "You are a sod-mothering, ass-hatting, leg-humping lump of leprous loogies, sources say."

monster-freaking-pocalypse

noun. Now that could spoil a picnic.

Real citation: "MONSTER-FREAKING-POCALYPSE!
Also, MWAHAHAHA! Dibs the British Robot!
Also Also, Twilight Imperium!
Also Also Also, MAKE THE GAME FORUM!
Lotta CAPS in that one. Sorry."
(Aug. 19, 2008, Groovy Gamers, http://www.groovygamers.com/forum/index.php?topic=6196.0)

Made-up citation: "I'm sorry, but I can't see you Saturday. That's the day I wash my hair, and Sunday is the monster-freaking-pocalypse/pancake breakfast. Maybe next weekend!"

atomic space wedgie

noun phrase. I knew there was a reason I'm not an astronaut.

Real citation: "Hell, it's an atomic space wedgie so bad it goes right up the universe's crack and it's coming out its mouth "
(Jan. 12, 2005, The Nightstar Zoo, http://zoo.nightstar.net/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=10950&view=previous)

Made-up citation: "If the new Star Trek wiped out the old timeline, does mean Chekov never gave the atomic space wedgie to Picard?"

erudite-itude

noun. Smarts-itude.

Real citation: "@TomBodett Chicago welcomes you and your erudite-itude."
(June 24, 2009, loosetooth, Twitter, http://twitter.com/loosetooth/statuses/2311628063)

Made-up citation: "You may doubt my erudite-itude, but only because you haven't read my dissertation on worm porn. Of the six stages of 'worm mating behavior', which is your favorite?"

half-wombat-brained

adj. Not sure how half-wombats are doing on standardized tests these days, but this is likely not a compliment.

Real citation: "I'll tell ya what the real bloomin' deal is! The real bloomin' deal is that some half wombat brained twit isn't out there burgling them turds! :P x"
(Dec. 16, 2008, MySpace, http://comment.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewComments&friendID=300775193)

Made-up citation: "I'd rather be a half-wombat-brained buttmunch than a quarter-chicken-feathered assmunch. But that's just me..."

slightly-pseudo-semi-Jennifer-Connelly-like-inspired-ish-esque

adj. If we reach deep into this pile of words with the jaws of life and a pitchfork, we may find Jennifer Connolly.

Real citation: "@NejWej I love the new picture--slightly-pseudo-semi jennifer connolly-like-inspered-ish-esque! Cute Cute Cuteeeeeeees!"
(June 13, 2009, jadeleflore, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jadeleflore/statuses/2156053859)

Made-up citation: "If mail-order-bride catalogs contained descriptions as specific as 'slightly-pseudo-semi-Jennifer-Connelly-like-inspired-ish-esque', we might not have to shut down the mail-order-bride factory. Frickin' economy!"

ham-thusiast

noun. Mmm.... bacon-ologist?

Real citation: "As to whether Iberico lives up to the hype, well... it depends on how much of a Ham Nerd you are, and how seriously you take things like 'trendiness' and 'European' and 'expensive = good.' That said, this meat is making waves from London to Paris to Rome, cities not lacking in native cured delicacies. So if you are a ham-thusiast looking to broaden your ham-rizons, this is probably worth a quarter pound investment. And if you want to wade in slowly, Despana has a fantastic selection of Serrano, house-made chorizo, and delicious blood sausage. So head on down, and make merry Iberian style. Just don't forget to close your eyes and pay respect to those noble pigs who roam the great Spanish plains..."
(Sept. 23, 2008, The Porkchop Express, http://www.porkchop-express.com/2008/02/bring-me-ham-of-alfredo-garcia.html)

Made-up citation: "Every time a wild pig eats a ham-thusiast, an angel gets to eat a cherub wrapped in bacon. That's win-win."

bungmanity

noun. Bungholes are human too. Not like buttmunches, who have no soul.

Real citation: "@JayMewes A finger I can understand but a movie in your bunghole, Jay? Please please no no. Oh the bungmanity!"
(June 21, 2009, Dan Collins, Twitter, http://twitter.com/mrtoons/status/2265950643)

Made-up citation: "There is no statute of limitations for crimes against bungmanity, because that would put a damper on all the fun."

suck on this pancake

verb phrase. My new catchphrase.

Real citation: "Does the pursuit of Happiness make us happy? Suck on this pancake! http://tinyurl.com/l2p8v3"
(June 22, 2009, Rainn Wilson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/rainnwilson/status/2281643568)

Made-up citation: "From the dawn of time till this very moment, people have been trying to express the thought 'suck on this pancake' in song and dance, not to mention rock operas. Now, our journey is completed. The space boat leaves in five minutes--no dawdling."

no-pantsless-bacon-preparation

adj. Referring to a set of rules and customs that have been followed since the days of yore, or possibly pre-yore.

Real citation: "@zuhl So true. Unless you do like I do and bake it on a cookie sheet. Oh yeah, there's a way around the no-pantsless-bacon-preparation rule!"
(June 21, 2009, Wry Redhead, Twitter, http://twitter.com/wryredhead/status/2268710187)

Made-up citation: "Perhaps if the Biblical guidelines regarding no-pantsless-bacon-preparation procedures were followed more rigorously, the a-pork-alypse could have been averted. Alas!"

Robert Downey Jr.-gasm

noun. A very specific event that was definitely not caused by Matthew McConaughey.

Real citation: "I can't even think. Pretty sure I just had a Robert Downey Jr.-gasm."
(June 13, 2009, Elizabeth Hoag, Twitter, http://twitter.com/riza_a/statuses/2157351573)

Made-up citation: "Many Robert Downey Jr.-gasms were caused by Tropic Thunder, but I dunno about that one where he's a reporter helping a homeless musician. That movie looks so bad, I thought it was another satirical trailer on my Tropic Thunder DVD. I'd rather boil my head and tempura my genitals than watch that."

mysterious-osity

noun. Sounds kinda mystery-y-ish-y.

Real citation: "is on holiday! Yes!! Now I can have some time to think and let my thoughts run. Lord thank you for your mysterious-osity!"
(June 13, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/IamWeazel/statuses/2152714926)

Made-up citation: "The grandeur of the cosmos is a great and unfathomable mysterious-osity. Also, I think I have a concussion."

poop-hoser

noun. A hose-wielding eradicator of fecal matter... Or some kind of Canadian, I suppose.

Real citation: "I just took my son and his poop-filled pants to the back yard and hosed him off. I used to play in rock bands, now I'm a poop-hoser. Weeee."
(June 19, 2009, tawnifreeland, Twitter, http://twitter.com/tawnifreeland/status/2240113569)

Made-up citation: "About once a year, my dog forces me to play the role of poop-hoser, when he just can't resist rolling in an ungodly pile of crap that came from a horse, vagrant, or sasquatch-type nethermonster."

humility-meister

noun. Despite my considerable talent, charm, wealth, and strength, the other kids never called me this. Weird.

Real citation: "Matt I am with you and James Geary. I’ve read these pieces in “left wing” news publications and it certainly isn’t a pleasant olfactory sensation I am left with. And yes, I have also heard the humility-meister’s diatribe on how the poor are handing the rich 5K annually per Bush’s cuts. I am still not convinced he really cares though."
(June 9, 2009, Yglesias, http://yglesias.thinkprogress.org/archives/2009/06/larry-summers-on-the-left.php)

Made-up citation: "Wookies don't like to mate with self-conscious humility-meisters. They need a code-orange arrogant hairball to rev their engines. Vulcans, on the other hand, will hump anything that moves, even if it's not moving much, believe me."

Tehran-iness

noun. Look deep into the eyes of a certain Iranian city, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "@Sky2042 Hehe, haven't tweeted in forever... but will comply with Tehran-iness. :D"
(June 15, 2009, Rose. F, Twitter, http://twitter.com/roseisrad/statuses/2186245438)

Made-up citation: "Why is there so much Tehran-iness on the web these days? Are they hosting the Olympics or something?"

kidney-selling-tastic

adj. If you can't afford our kidneys, we also have some great spleens.

Real citation: "Gaah Leeds festival announce faith no more after already selling out, fuelling eBay kidney-selling-tastic prices. What barstewards"
(June 17, 2009, Dave Rawlins, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Piratejuice/statuses/2212882399)

Made-up citation: "I could buy a condo in my neighborhood, but only for kidney-selling-tastic prices. That's why I started organ-harvesting, grave-robbing, and orphan-bottling my way up the corporate ladder. Here's how you can too!"

hamburger-splosion

noun. Warning: may occur in the belly, heart, or toilet area.

Real citation: "@jrosebud Hamburger-splosion"
(June 16, 2009, Nathaniel Miller, Twitter, http://twitter.com/journalistnate/statuses/2194963719)

Made-up citation: "I ready for whatever hamburger-splosions the night brings. Your place or mine, Mayor McCheese?"

co-exorcist

noun. At best, a comrade-in-arms. At worst, someone to hold the holy-water hose.

Real citation: "At wit's end, not to mention utterly frazzled, Casey seeks help from Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman doing a bad imitation of a rabbi), a Kabbala guru who happens to know a thing or two about exorcism. After enlisting the co-exorcist aid of a basketball coach cleric (Idris Elba), the determined duo tie Casey to a gurney in an abandoned building, and get down to business. After much prolonged mayhem and spirit fleeing, it turns out that just a good swat with a crowbar will do the trick nicely."
(Jan. 9, 2009, Two Gays and a Movie, http://twogaysandamovie.blogspot.com/2009/01/jumby-wants-to-be-born-now.html)

Made-up citation: "If you think dating is hard, trying finding a reliable co-exorcist. Nothing strains a relationship quite like driving vicious demons out of innocent host bodies--and there's no summer vacation either."

constructo-pocalypse

noun. The twin of the somewhat redundant destructo-pocalypse.

Real citation: "White Cowbell Oklahoma are relieved the constructo-pocalypse has been completed on their castle's street. Diggin' holes, fillin' em up..."
(June 3, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/whitecowbell/statuses/2016728738)

Made-up citation: "As a wealthy industrialist, I am responsible for many a constructo-pocalypse in the tri-state area. Those pyramid-shaped malls and mega-towers of robo-doom aren't going to erect themselves, you know!"

your-mum-in-a-jar-ologist

noun. Um... I'm scared to type anything here. *whispers* Call the police.

Real citation: "is studying to be a your-mum-in-a-jar-ologist...."
(June 9, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/womby/status/2086410760)

Made-up citation: "Even the kindest and gentlest your-mum-in-a-jar-ologist is not going to be popular on Mother's Day (or the rest of the year)."

butthole-iest

noun. A word I pray is not used in my obituary.

Real citation: "Grrr! There are 4 bands I won't be seeing this year, thanks to living in Columbus. (Musicians tend to avoid Ohio's butthole-iest city.)"
(June 11, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/justinthemighty/statuses/2114347726)

Made-up citation: "Few people know this, but Aquaman is by far the butthole-iest superhero in the world. Is the culprit water on the brain--or too many mind-numbing telepathic conversations with fish? Actually, Lex Luther hit him in the head with an ax, and poor fish-boy hasn't been the same since."

post-cheesesteak-gasm

adj. An important phase that cannot be rushed, underestimated, or treated by most doctors.

Real citation: "In mere minutes, our cheese steaks were ready. This place is as efficient as it is quick. There is seating upstairs and a separate exit door to funnel out the post-cheesesteak-gasm fatties."
(Nov. 8, 2008, Yelp, http://www.yelp.com/biz/jims-steaks-philadelphia-3)

Made-up citation: "I'm looking forward to the post-cheesesteak-gasm era of American politics. Wait, I already missed it? Goddamn it."

atomic-wedgie-proof

adj. A fine quality in unmentionables and space suits.

Real citation: "I found atomic-wedgie-proof running shorts. I now consider today a victory."
(June 8, 2009, Marne Zollinger, Twitter, http://twitter.com/marnedz/status/2079889444)

Made-up citation: "All my undies are atomic-wedgie-proof, in accordance with the Geneva conventions."

demise-ish-ness

noun. Warning: May contain death-like substance.

Real citation: "So you may have noticed that we've been kind of 'off line' in the recent, and not so recent, past. Add to that the demise-ish-ness of the Onthepodcast host site over at Podango and things got a bit more complicated. Fear not though...I'm cooking something up that will a little more loose and hopefully a lot more fun. I'll have more info up soon."
(Jan. 14, 2009, OnThePod.net, http://onthepod.blogspot.com/2009/01/future.html)

Made-up citation: "Rumors of my demise-ish-ness have been exaggerated, except for the part about the boulder."

singing-frog-itis

noun. Also known as chronic Kermit syndrome.

Real citation: "Would my friend survive Andrew, his singing-frog-itis and his high energy for the day?"
(April 29, 2009, Bloggers Annex, http://www.bloggersannex.com/2009/04/29/the-exodus/)

Made-up citation: "Singing-frog-itis is one of the saddest tragedies that can befall a frog, aside from being squashed by a boulder, which at least preserves some dignity."

non-horndoggy-interactivity

adj. Describes the kind of sophisticated, professional relationship that involves approximately zero horndogs and absolutely no horncats.

Real citation: "ETA: I thought it was her, then went no. Then looked again. Then went maybe. Then went no. Then compared caps and went no. Then saw everyone in fandom flailing about it and went maybe. Then watched the hotel scene again and went HOLY CRAP because the whole answering the door in her underwear is a smokescreen to distract Dean and Bobby from noticing her face, just like the name correction is a smokescreen to hide Sam's ... whatsit. No, not that. Um. non-horndoggy-interactivity with her. I don't buy Sam/Ruby for a second there, not even if it came with free chips and a toy. :-P"
(Sept. 21, 2008, Livejournal, http://kroki-refur.livejournal.com/231600.html?page=5)

Made-up citation: "I demand non-horndoggy-interactivity in the workplace, which is why I also demand all my employees work at home, where we can exchange services, memos, fluids, and lawsuits in the proper environment."

un-professional-istic

adj. What is this, amateur hour?

Real citation: "This went on for 3 years...there were times I were not able to answer her calls, or reply her messages immediately, as I was either in class, or working...and doing so, would reflect my un-professional-istic ways...so while waiting for my call/reply, the demon would brew thoughts of insecurity within her...and I would then re-organize my words, and explain my situation nicely...so that she would know that I still do care for her..."
(March 14, 2009, Random Logics of a Perfect Mis-fit...Cum Insomniac, http://mislaidthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/03/heartless-ness.html)

Made-up citation: "The most important part of being a polar-bear trainer is never to be un-professional-istic. If you are, the bears will eat you, but if you demonstrate only a modicum of professionalism, they will merely maul you. That makes all the difference in the world."

re-kill-ify

verb. A crucial process, especially when dealing with zombies, vampires, and evil cat-people of the moon.

Real citation: "I propose a new title for this posting: 'We shall re-kill-ify those who oppose our way.'"
(Nov. 13, 2007, Blogs 4 Brownback, http://blogs4brownback.wordpress.com/2007/07/16/398/)

Made-up citation: "I think I may, perchance, need to re-kill-ify my arch-nemesis. I'm such a stickler. It's just the way I was raised."

Hitchcock-orama-ness

noun. May involve birds, vertigo, or you-get-the-idea.

Real citation: "I reccomend a big fat night of hitchcock-orama-ness"
(June 7, 2005, Hijack, http://www.bristolculture.com/board/profile/?u=647;sa=showPosts;start=200)

Made-up citation: "My life is one big bucket of Hitchcock-orama-ness. OK, maybe that's laying it on a little thick. It does sound cooler than a family-size bag of potato-chip-orama-ness."

cutesy-pooitude

noun. Preferable to dog-pooitude, even when the dog is a cutesy-poo cockapoo.

Real citation: "But comic strips do tend towards sentimental mawkishness over time. I hope Lio isn’t getting dumped on for its sticky-sweet cutesy-pooitude by the ‘Mudges of 2034."
(March 15, 2009, The Comics Curmudgeon, http://joshreads.com/?p=2298)

Made-up citation: "As a rule, I detest and vehemently pooh-pooh all forms of cutesy-pooitude, except where dogs are concerned, because I have seen some dogs so cute that I almost suffered a stroke, or an aneurysm, or whatever qualifies as a cute-pocalypse these days."

Trek-tosterone

noun. An energy source that comes directly from the ol' dilithium crystals, if you know what I mean.

Real citation: "Trek-tosterone
This new Star Fleet is getting hunkier by the day! I'm not a Star Trek fan really; I've seen a good share of episodes of the original series and of Next Generation, and several of the films, but it's never been a series dear to my heart. The early word on this JJ Abrams-run reboot didn't capture my attention all that much. But then they cast Eric Bana as the bad guy, and now Karl Urban has been cast as Bones, aka Dr. McCoy, and I am surely peaked... interest-wise."
(Oct. 17, 2007, My New Plaid Pants, http://mynewplaidpants.blogspot.com/2007/10/trek-tosterone.html)

Made-up citation: "A dangerous level of Trek-tosterone can only be treated with the Vulcan death wedgie, according to my Klingon translator."

non-bigfoot sighting-esque

adj. Less hairy then the Yeti (or my cousin Freddie).

Real citation: "oh wow, a non-bigfoot sighting-esque shot of dear william."
(Feb. 2, 2009, Livejournal, http://jabberworks.livejournal.com/168502.html)

Made-up citation: "My appearance is considerably more non-bigfoot sighting-esque than 10 years ago, when I was a Grateful Dead fan moonlighting as a werewolf with grooming issues. And I'll tell you, those full-body Brazilians are worth every penny."

post-traumatic mustache disorder

noun phrase. A facial syndrome that shall never afflict my pornstache, baby! Whoo!

Real citation: "Shaving is a very emotional process, good thing I am ALSO a PTMD (post-traumatic mustache disorder) counselor"
(May 20, 2009, Mustache Brigade, http://moustachiohh.blogspot.com/2009/05/picture-of-david-oliver.html)

Made-up citation: "Sufferers of post-traumatic mustache disorder find their symptoms are often relieved by the realization that they no longer resemble a child molester."