I-don't-give-a-fuckitude

noun. 24-carat fuckin' apathy, disinterest, or detachment.

Related terms: bumble-fuckitude, cluster-fuckitude, mindfuckitude, sick-fuckitude, what-the-fuckitude.

Real citation: "Earle's art combines the storytelling grace of James McMurtry with the experience-driven common sense of Billy Joe Shaver and the I-don't-give-a-fuckitude of David Allen Coe. You'd be hard-pressed to do much better than that."
(Michael Henningsen, "Music Magnified," http://www.alibi.com/editorial/section_display.php?di=2004-01-08&scn=music)

Made-up citation: "I wish I had more moxie, more guts, more I-don't-give-a-fuckitude, and less clutter around the house."

full-frontal-ness

noun. Need I define? I think not.

Real citation: "Producers of Home at the End of the World are so outraged over Colin Farrell's long schlong, they've cut his full-frontal-ness from the pic (ouch) because it's 'too distracting.'"
(A.D. Amoros, "icepack," http://citypaper.net/articles/2004-07-01/ice.shtml)

Made-up citation: "I have a feeling that 'full-frontal-ness'--like 'post-nipslip' and 'butt-cleavage-revealing'--will attract many linguists and other serious scholars to my blog."

throw a nutter

idiom. 1) Go batshit. 2) Go apeshit.

Related terms: nuttery, fucknutter.

Real citation: "'A mystery,' continues Sloane, circling his prey. 'The true secrets of his creations will always be held back from you…THE UNWORTHY!' He growls that last part as he brings the base down yet again on Baldy's head. And again. And again. And blood spatters up onto his face. And a wham! And another wham! And more blood and oh my god, he's thrown a nutter."
(Erin, "Another Mister Sloane," page 13, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=75&story=7853&page=13&sort=&limit=)

Made-up citation: "I'd rather throw a nutter than pitch a hissy-fit, because I am very manly and testosterone-engorged."

pregcellent

adj. Superbly knocked-up.

Real citation: "Pregnancy should have its own vocabulary beyond "lanugo," "mucous plug," and other pleasant pregnancy- and birth-related words. You know, like pregnorance to denote the weird absentmindedness of pregnant women, commonly known as "prego brain." Or stumbling into someone because your center of gravity is off due to The Belly: a pregccident. The fact that people seem more drawn to you when you're pregnant than when you're not: you're pregnetic. What I'm asking for with regard to the ability of a woman to bare her chest to feed her child if she so desires: pregalitarian societal attitudes. What I'll be on April 11: an Easter Preg. The way you feel when you're having a good day: pregnificent. Pregtastic. Pregcellent."
(Pamela, March 25, 2004, http://mightyturtle.com/archives/2004/03/pregcellent.html)

Made-up citation: "In our high school, guidance counselors are encouraged to use terms such as 'miracle of life,' 'pregcellent,' and 'glow,' while avoiding hurtful language like 'are you on crack?'"

near-drowning-by-swirlie

noun. A bad way to almost die.

Real citation: "Part of what makes 'Sin City' work is that while the performances may be somewhat broad (they need to be, to suit the material), they stop at being grotesquely cartoonish. Owen is always a dazzling, uncompromising presence, and he puts his considerably roguish charms to work here, too. Accosting a bad 'un in a bathroom -- where else does one inflict near-drowning-by-swirlie? -- he introduces himself with the stunningly original line, 'I'm Shellie's new boyfriend, and I'm out of my mind.'"
(Stephanie Zacharek, "Sin City," Salon, http://salon.com/ent/movies/review/2005/04/01/sin_city/print.html)

Made-up citation: "If we spent less money on new prisons and put more funding and research into near-drowning-by-swirlie initiatives, maybe America could be America again."

leperesque

adj. Like a leper would do it.

Real citation: "I put out a similar plea after the epic "Farewell Show" (i attended both that one and the 4/17 one) and ended up feeling leperesque."
(Rodriquez, http://www.the-grotto.com/talk/thread.jsp?forum=1&thread=7254&message=26044)

Made-up citation: "Many zombies will take offense if told they look leperesque. So kids, you should always be polite and strive for accuracy."

former-husband-brain-eating fork

noun. An eating utensil with a specific purpose.

Real citation: "Well pardon me if our ancient ancestors didn't leave behind any former-husband-brain-eating forks."
(Nick, "The Bachelor Party," Nov. 16, 1999, Angel)

Made-up citation: "During dark rituals, any host who wants to avoid a mortifying faux pas must carefully attend to the placement of the exorcism tongs and the former-husband-brain-eating fork."

whipped like rabid skunks

idiom. Beaten soundly--like a dangerous, smelly drum.

Related terms: greeted like rabid skunks, hunted down like rabid skunks, shot like rabid skunks, froth at the mouth like rabid skunks, fight like rabid skunks, act like rabid skunks, defend each other like rabid skunks.

Real citation: "The Redskins were whipped again like rabid skunks on Sunday, but only a few people cared. Brooding on the fate of the Redskins is no longer considered cool, in Washington or anywhere else in the English-speaking world. Not even the President of the United States gives a hoot in hell about the pitiful fate of the 'Skins. They are the worst team in the NFL, and their owner is widely vilified."
(Hunter S. Thompson, "Stadium living in new age," http://espn.go.com/page2/s/thompson/011002.html)

Made-up citation: "Does 'whipped like rabid skunks' really make any sense? If I were locked in moral combat with rabid skunks--like a barbed wire cage match kind of situation--I'd pray to Zeus and bet on the skunks."

jerkassiest

adj. Jerky plus assy squared.

Real citation: "Agreed. Homer at his jerkassiest behavior isn't as bad as Peter Griffin's behavior all the time. And for all of Homer's many faults, I can still understand why Marge loves him. I cannot say the same for Peter and Lois."
(Cleopatra, "The Simpsons," April 20, 2004, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=1150752&view=findpost&p=2804340)

Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'The dumbassiest monkey is closer to God than the jerkassiest ape.'"

brain-gurble

noun. A garbled, burbling, baffling neurological event--not unlike an epiphany or stroke.

Real citation: "And with the same easy spirit in which he pillages other authors' techniques, stripping them of their context and using them merely for show, he snatches 9/11 to invest his conceit with gravitas, thus crossing the line that separates the risible from the villainous. The book's themes—the sense of connection we all feel when the coffee or acid hits and everything is illuminated, the brain-gurble and twitch and self-pity we all know better than to write about—have nothing to do with the attack on the towers, or with Dresden or Hiroshima, which Foer tosses in just to make sure we understand what a big and important book we're dealing with."
(Harry Siegel, New York Press, http://nypress.com/print.cfm?content_id=12840)

Made-up citation: "I love the smell of my own brain-gurbles in the morning. Or maybe that's just the crack."

holy crispy crap on a cracker

exclamation. A crispier, crappier, crackier version of "holy shit!"

Related terms: holy cat crap on a cracker, holy cheese on a cracker, holy Christ on a cracker, holy Christmas on a cracker, holy cow on a cracker, holy creepy Christ on a cracker, holy crinkly crap on a cracker, holy crud on a cracker, holy ever loving crap on a cracker, holy fart on a cracker, holy flipping snot on a cracker, holy fuck on a cracker, holy God and Jesus on a cracker, holy heck on a cracker, holy hell on a cracker, holy jumping Jesus Christ on a cracker, holy mother of Mary on a cracker, holy poop on a cracker, holy shit and Christ on a cracker, holy shit mother freaker on a cracker, holy sweet fucking Christ on a cracker.

Real citation: "holy crispy crap on a cracker! when i read your post i went like wow! is it true? you are so lucky gal, can i tell my friends i know you? when i grow up i wanna be like you. is it nice being so rich that you don’t need to eat platanos and beans? can i have your autograph?"
(Pib, July 30, 2001, http://www.dr1.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-12844.html)

Made-up citation: "Holy crispy crap on a cracker, I can't believe the free publicity the Catholics get for this Pope stuff. You'd think he was the ruler of the world. The other religions should get with it, get their own Popes, and do some business!"

fuckstainery

noun. Fuckstainery is a timeless concept that is hard to pin down, but it is a close acquaintance of fuckheadery, fucknuttery, and fuckwittery.

Real citation: "You're overestimating how much time and energy I put into our interactions. I occasionally have a few extra minutes while waiting for one of HQ's games to load, and that's the time you get. Waiting for blues clues to load, listening to my son drum, and taunting you for your fuckstainery."
(Maevele, Nov. 21, 2003, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.music.tool/msg/d7b1caf1c77ed487?dmode=source)

Made-up citation: "I've been accused of buttholery and lechery, but never fuckstainery and treachery."

weebies

noun. The weebies are a close relative of the heeebie-jeebies, the creeps, the willies, the whim-whams, and the wiggins.

Real citation:
Angel: "What've you got?"
Cordelia: "The weebies."
("Sense and Sensitivity," Nov. 9, 1999, Angel)

Made-up citation: "Things that give me the weebies: pea soup, white guys who shave their heads, the surgery scenes of Nip/Tuck, and cottage cheese."

eco-dildo

noun. An environmentally-friendly vibrator or an environmentally-friendly asshole.

Real citation: "Those photo-names...the big format camera and the neo-romantic luminist names, like some fringe-jacketed western Sundance-sensitive new-age Bridges of Madison County Taos photo-abenteuer eco-dildo crystal and dream -catcher wearing "come into my sweat lodge, baby" type with the suede-shit unbuttoned to the navel. "
(DirtCrashr, Oct. 24, 2000, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/rec.motorcycles.dirt/msg/eb6233783703ca5a)

Made-up citation: "When the eco-dildo is as common as lip gloss, 'saving the earth' will be a popular euphemism."

non-monkey-poo

adj. 1) Non-crappy. 2) In no way resembling, containing or inspiring the fresh feces of our monkified brothers and sisters.

Real citation: "Those were just last night. I played 4 games, and had 2 non-monkey poo ones, which I, sadly, found impressive. Won against some noobs because they couldn't kill my AM that had nothing but 50 life, 3 rifles, and 1 statue. Level 6 when they level 4 = laugh in face. I'll also note they said something about being rusty and us being noobs at the end of the game."
(Risonyra, Oct 27, 2004, http://www.thewarcenter.com/forums/index.php?act=Print&client=printer&f=18&t=20589)

Made-up citation: "It's seventy degrees. It's actually sunny in Buffalo. I have an iced coffee. My life has taken a welcome detour into non-monkey-poo territory."

French-ish-sounding

adj. Sorta kinda Frenchy-flavored.

Real citation: "Nope. Nothing particularly significant about the name. It came from a random French-ish-sounding name generator. It is, indeed, the world in which the comic takes place."
(J. Harper, Nov. 20, 2003, http://charmingeclipse.xepher.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=122&)

Made-up citation: "Even a monolingual baboon like myself knows words like 'schmoopsie-poo' are not remotely French-ish-sounding. Yiddish-ish-sounding, maybe."

smasho-crasho

interjection. Kaboom! Kablooey! Kerblooey! Kerflooey!

Real citation: "things i avoided today: (1) killing a cat. a cat that had a collar and tags, obviously a neighbor's pet. (2) smasho-crasho into two cars parked along the opposite side of the street on which i was traveling."
("bad day, good day," Nov. 27, 2002, orangecat comes over to play, http://orangecatplays.blogspot.com/2002_11_24_
orangecatplays_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "The last 15 minutes of Jackie Chan's Police Story are like a bouquet, a buffet of violence--smasho-crasho, mega-destructo, Jesus holy shit Christ!"

crackpotitude

noun. A metric smurfload of crackpotty, quacky, batty, loony, wackjobby thinking or behavior.

Related terms: pottitude, melting-potitude.

Real citation: "If you enjoy reading crackpot pseudoscience rants as much as I do, you may have a use for this handy index for ranking their crackpotitude."
(Jonathan Korman, "Crackpot index," March 14, 2004, http://miniver.blogspot.com/2004/03/crackpot-index.html)

Made-up citation: "Recently, I was a little stunned to learn that some doctors still consider chiropracty to be seven shades of crackpotitude, somewhere between exorcism and astrology."

conjugalicious

adj. Sexy, sexual, and maybe even sexcessive.

Real citation: "A year and a half after their mutual, yet separate incarcerations, the boy was able to visit his lover, friend, and math teacher for a series of hot, conjugalicious visits. While his time of punishment was over, she had three-and-a-half years to go. The couple was dealt a further blow when the girl was given an extra five years after the dna sample of the subsequent child matched that of the forbidden father."
("the spam letters," http://www.thespamletters.com/letter.php?spamID=194&sortBy=d&start=30)

Made-up citation: "I wonder if the new Pope will allow priests to enjoy conjugalicious Catholic cohabitation."

super-ultra-mega-god-like

adj. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say "powerful."

Real citation: "Hah! See above. That whole side of things took a back seat to the 18 different kinds of super-ultra-mega-god-like moves :P :P"
(longinus, Jan. 31, 2002, http://www.animenation.net/forums/archive/index.php/t-166767.html)

Made-up citation: "We've trained robots to play soccer and rats to sniff for land mines. On behalf of the human race, I'm feeling somewhat super-ultra-mega-god-like."

turbo-sin

noun. An act of high-tech turpitude.

Real citation: "When you combine the seven deadly sins with high technology, you get some really serious problems. You get turbo-sins. It's dreadful to imagine what goeth after turbo-pride. "
(Jim Kuntsler, April 11, 2005, The Clusterfuck Nation Chronicle, http://www.kunstler.com/mags_diary13.html)

Made-up citation: "In a few years, when fembots are as common and affordable as herpes, I imagine turbo-sinning will be quite popular."

step-brother-fucker

noun. Just like a motherfucker, but with less mother, more step-brother, and less "ew."

Related terms: unclefucker.

Real citation: "I'm kind of in the "damp towels" camp on the Sayid-Shannon relationship. Sayid had more chemistry with Sawyer's glasses. I'm guessing Sayid-Shannon will be a healthy thing, ultimately. But Shannon damn well better have some issues — everyone else on the island does. "Skank" may be verboten, but I think she has behaved like a shallow, vapid, step-brother-fucker. She has some growing up to do. Whether they did it or not, I was glad to hear her say she wanted to go slow. And I'd really like to see her backstory now, to flesh out her character more.”
(xii, " 1-20: "Do No Harm" 2005.04.06," April 7, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3125481&view=findpost&p=2754500)

Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'better a step-brother-fucker than a parakeet-jacker-offer.'"

thumbs-uppiest

adj. This describes a bundle of joy--most likely a politician or other sociopath--who just can't keep a good thumb down.

Real citation: "Minutes later, Lieberman built up his speech to a rhetorical summit, pumping a thumbs-up (Lieberman is the thumbs-uppiest of the candidates) at the crowd and shouting: 'We have an opportunity to make the future better by changing the leadership of this country!'"
(Matt Taibbi, Spanking the Donkey, page 77, 2005)

Made-up citation: "'Thumbs-uppiest' is not the sort of praise one wants to hear lavished on his proctologist."

testicularitiness

noun. The peculiar, testicular quality that some call guts and others call male-pattern batshit-loonosity.

Related terms: testicularity, testicular fortitude.

Real citation: "take your testicularitiness to www.thesteelheadsite.com this issue has been discussed there.....john"
(asadi, Nov. 9, 1999, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/
rec.outdoors.fishing.fly/msg/09c09002b83513a7)

Made-up citation: "Before you can say 'testicularitiness,' my sister will kick you in the nuts."

turdcake

noun. A literal or metaphorical piece of shit, with optional frosting and an indeterminate number of layers.

Real citation: " Here's a turdcake for Mark's birthday. Can you spot the flies?"
(Jim Krewson, http://www.jimkrewson.com/cakes.html)

Made-up citation: "In my Catholic grammar school, kids had nicknames like Crud, Dorko, and Steam-umm, but there was no Turdcake. Well, we couldn't think of everything..."

boobworm

noun. I have no earthly idea. I just like the word.

Real citation: "Whoa, sounds impressive! However, I'm going to take a pass. When VS came out with their Miracle Bras several years ago, I ordered up a bunch of them and, damn, they did make me look good. I began wearing one every day. After a few weeks, I did my monthly exam like the PC woman I am, and noticed something strange. A puffy, wiggly thing on the side of my left boob. It felt like a... worm. OMG! I had a case of boobworm!"
(Paula Light, "Unmentionables," April 7, 2005, http://paulalight.blogspot.com/2005_04_01_
paulalight_archive.html#111289682592261850)

Made-up citation: "No, we will not name the dachshund 'Boobworm.' But your new name is Sergeant Shitcake!"

butt-cleavage-revealing

present participle. "Ass cheeks on a platter" would be another way of saying it.

Related terms: back-cleavage-revealing, posterior-cleavage-revealing, rear-end-cleavage-revealing, gluteal-cleavage-revealing, non-cleavage-revealing, glimpse-of-cleavage-revealing, deep-cleavage-revealing, cavernous-cleavage-revealing, man-cleavage-revealing.

Real citation: "Schaffer is doing a beachwear collection inspired by Vegas show girls with peacock colorings and the aforementioned sequins. I love creating swimwear, she says of her low-cut V-front, butt-cleavage-revealing one-pieces."
("Behind the Seams," http://citypaper.net/articles/2003-05-15/naked.shtml)

Made-up citation: "'Plumber's-crack-defying' is a fine synonym for 'butt-cleavage-revealing,' as Sylvia Plath, John Donne, and other fine poets have demonstrated."

non-lame-oid

noun. A person completely devoid of lameness, lameosity, and brutal lameassedness.

Real citation: "written by a non-lame-oid. therefore, supreme being."
("PopStory," http://rumandmonkey.com/popstory/index.php?action=read;ident=1683)

Made-up citation: "At this point, I've given up on being cool, but I still have vivid dreams about being a non-lame-oid."

pants-on aesthetic appreciation

noun. Non-prurient interest.

Real citation: "It wasn’t a full on bad shoot though it easily could’ve been – it was just kinda sad, as it was pretty clear that the photographer didn’t want to be shooting porn. He kept making disparaging “jokes” like “Look at me now, getting paid to ask girls to spread themselves open for me” and saying things like “Let’s just get through this. It’s not like the artistic merit of these pictures is important at all.” Now, I may be just a dumb porn girl, and a hooker to boot, but fuck, man – I love what I do, and I take pride in it. While I’m not so misguided to believe that more artistically produced “erotica” (or whatever the fuck you want to call it) inspires solely pants-on aesthetic appreciation, I heartily believe that it’s worth taking pride in porn, and making stuff that is sexy in both content and form."
(Audacia Ray, "Porn pride," April 7, 2005, http://wakingvixen.blogspot.com/2005/04/porn-pride.html)

Made-up citation: "Studies show that job satisfaction is directly proportional to the number of coworkers who inspire something more than pants-on aesthetic appreciation."

ego-handjob

noun. An environmentally-friendly sexual act that...oh sorry, I thought that said "eco-handjob." Let's go with this instead: Metaphorical hand-to-weenie contact resulting in a happy ego ending.

Real citation: "Would some thin-wristed shoe-gazing bass player please hurry up and fuck this girl? Once confined to her ultra-vapid sycophantic hipster blog Ultragrrrl, Sarah Lewitinn has somehow parlayed her love for wimpy bands and kitsch into a career as a record promoter and talking head about—two guesses—wimpy bands and kitsch. Lewitinn's Spin column, "Making Out with Ultragrrrl," chronicled her giving numerous bands ego-handjobs back stage as she drunkenly hung on them, making funny rock-star poses."
("50 MOST LOATHSOMENEW YORKERS," New York Press, http://nypress.com/18/13/news&columns/50most.cfm)

Made-up citation: "I will give ego-handjobs when the occasion demands, but I much prefer delivering the atomic ego-wedgie."

ratfuckery

noun. Bungled and/or frenzied and/or dishonest activity that is not completely unlike a bucket of rats making sweet love.

Related terms: Philadelphia ratfuck.

Real citation: "The final tally of electoral votes was updated live throughout election day, 02 November 2004, by Andrew Tanebaum of Electoral-Vote.com, where he stayed up all night hopefully tabulating the votes, only to sob bitterly at the sheer monstrous ratfuckery of it all. He then asked to be excused to the bathroom, from which a single gunshot was later heard. "
(Kasreyn, Nov. 3, 2004, http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/11/2/5813/09810)

Made-up citation: "I'll be finished with my Bachelor's in Political Science this June--I just have to finish an online course in Advanced Ratfuckery."

orgasmitude

noun. Bliss: hot, steamy, sweaty, buttered, barbecued, bootylicious bliss.

Real citation: "Grand Theft Auto III - Vice City was all out so I tried this, thinking it'd be worth a shot. Boy was it ever. If this is half as good as Vice City, Vice City must be pure video gaming orgasmitude."
(Callahan, Dec. 2, 2002, http://www.wannabebigforums.com/printthread.php?t=11789&page=4&pp=100)

Made-up citation: "The highest level of orgasmitude I have attained this year involved the mac and cheese at Shango in Buffalo, NY. Ooh-la-la-la-mmm...."

hoopy-doopy

noun. A hoo-ha, or a brouhaha, or a fucking circus.

Real citation: "As most readers of New York Press are probably aware, a few weeks back we had a bit of what's known in the business as a 'hoopy-doopy' here."
(Jim Knipfel, "Dream On," The New York Press, http://www.nypress.com/18/13/news&columns/knipfel.cfm)

Made-up citation: "Young parents, do not make a hoopy-doopy over every poopy-woopy. Toilet training is important, and if you err in any way, your child may grow up to be one of the most vicious mass murderers in history."

get Neanderthal on your ass

idiom. This would seem to indicate that primitive violence is on the way and someone's ass will soon be grass.

Related terms: get biblical on your ass, get continental on your ass, get existential on your ass, get federal on your ass, get funky on your ass, get medieval on your ass, get metaphysical on your ass, get militant on your ass, get nasty on your ass, get prehistoric on your ass, get proper on your ass, get Prussian on your ass, get Republican on your ass, get voodoo on your ass.

Real citation: "And remember- don't you EVER tell me what I should or should not be feeling, asshole. Get your own fucking limbic system, or I'll have to get Neanderthal on your ass. My anger = your suffering."
(InfoHazard, Aug. 28, 2004, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/rec.drugs.smart/msg/e90ea73086768c4d)

Made-up citation: "Since I cut my hair and trimmed my beard, I fear I am no longer qualified to go Neanderthal on your ass. However, I assure you I am still a rabid, seething, feral beast in my heart."

stinkboiga

noun. The olfactory accompaniment to a shitstorm.

Real citation: "And I gotta say, Pig-Pen's room stank. It smelled like burnt beans and propane in there. Talk about a stinkboiga! This kid must have earned his Master's degree from P.U."
(Magazine Man, "The Resume (A Random Anecdote)," March 21, 2005, http://masthead.blogspot.com/2005/03/resume-random-anecdote_111233447870583902.html)

Made-up citation: "As a summer camp counselor, I lived in pretty much a stinkboigapalooza 24-7. Smell the magic!"

satanic-ish

adj. Just a little like the Dark Lord and Master of us all. Mmm...Dark Lord.

Real citation: "So, blah blah blah, yeah. I got to thoroughly freak out my mother by watching 2 satanic-ish (both movies dealing with the devil) movies right before Christmas, always a plus! So, erm, yeah. I have flooded my grandpa's computer with music downloads, and I'm afraid I even loaded the GIMP onto it, but I don't think I can use it because this computer is too painfully slow to do anything substantial with."
(Lalala, Dec. 26, 2003, http://coldnsteel.deviantart.com/journal/1585380/)

Made-up citation: "When I can't get Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I get cranky, and then I go postal, and sometimes I get satanic-ish, what with the evisceration and all."

poo-nibbling

present participle. Tastefully pecking upon poo-poo.

Related terms: poo-eating, poo-chomping, poo-gobbling, poo-sucking, poo-licking, poo-munching, poo-ingesting, poo-snacking.

Real citation: "you poo-nibbling cricketfucker."
(Sept. 11. 2004, http://www.madnesstemple.com/forum/7782)

Made-up citation: "Although it is yucko and wrong for humans, poo-nibbling is both nutritious and socially-acceptable for many small mammals, including bunnies--even the Easter bunny if you must know."

double-meh

interjection. A particularly emphatic unenthusiastic reaction.

Related terms: meh, meh-worthy, meh-tastic, meh-ish, uber-meh, mega-meh, major meh.

Real citation: "Well, sure, but at the same time, I used to live in Vegas. They had Lorne at the Trop, which is a good 10 miles of Strip away from Fremont Street, where they ran and Lorne sang to shatter the lights. Meh. Double-meh. Los Angelenos likely have that kind of reaction regularly, but this I know and meh."
(Audiodidact, "Season 4: Rejects & Rejection," Dec. 18, 2003, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=2343632&view=findpost&p=801444)

Made-up citation: "Double-meh, triple-bleah, or even a yawn squared would not begin to convey my apathy toward your zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

beyoinked

adj. This describes any object, service, or small mammal that has been yoinked--or in non-Simpsons lingo--stolen.

Related terms: yoink, yoinker, yoinkee, yoinkage.

Real citation: "Yoink: To violently or non violently take an object from another, regardless of the love or respect the yoinkee has for the beyoinked object. "
("yoink," http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=yoink)

Made-up citation: "'Verily, thou hast truly won my beyoinked heart,' said Thor, setting down his hammer in the plush foliage, as he gazed upon the duct-taped squirrel."

losered-out

adj. In full-on, 24-carat, mega-loser mode.

Real citation: "Regardless of how insanely cute those boys are, it was wrong of me to denigrate anyone for their profession—unless they're in a bad-karma occupation like an undercover narcotics officer, performance artist, or bikini waxer (that shit's just wrong!). In fact, the nastiest, most losered-out, dad's-basement-living dirtbag I ever dated worked in finance and wore a tie every day. So I don't know what I was thinking. "
(Judy McGuire, "Lusty Ladies," Seattle Weekly, http://www.seattleweekly.com/features/0509/
050302_diversions_dategirl.php)

Made-up citation: "You can't spell 'losered-out' without 'lout,' but you can spell 'Nahasapeemapetilan' without 'q.'"

what-the-fuckometer

noun. A handy, portable, WTF-detecting device.

Related terms: fuckometer, don't-give-a-fuckometer.

Real citation: "Before I left for winter break, my roommate asked me if her sister could come visit for two weeks. I said okey dokey. I came back from Massachusetts on the 3rd of January and about 3 or 4 days later, the sister arrived. She crashed on the couch and joined our little Law and Order cult. (By cult I mean we watch completely unhealthy amounts of it.) No worries. One day, I was home from work, and Sister was on the phone. When she got off the phone, she was very happy because she was most likely going to get the job she'd applied for. Yay! Job! We did the New Job Conversation (i.e. the What Where When convo), until my what-the-fuck-ometer went off. "Wait...when does this job start?" "Whenever they tell me I actually have it, I guess!""
(AlwaysAnEagle, Feb. 1, 2004, http://www.ubersite.com/m/24561)

Made-up citation: "Though rats make fantastic pets, I tell dubious-looking strangers I have hamsters, just so I don't set off their narrow-minded, car-alarm-like what-the-fuckometers."

boneheadery

noun. Contrary to popular anatomical notions, some skulls don't house brains--dig as deep as you like, with your trustiest bone saw, and you'll just find more bone, bone, bone. Naturally, all that bone takes a few points off the IQ, resulting in boneheadery and related conditions such as buttmunchitude.

Real citation: "Any ideas on how to correct my boneheaded mistake? And, no, the disk was not backed up - another piece of boneheadery."
(Dale M. Greer, Jan. 20, 1995, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/comp.sys.mac.system/msg/74fb7c32978144d4)

Made-up citation: "The ball-lessness and boneheadery of the Democratic party have been royally pissing me off--maybe a stiff drink and Matt Taibbi's new book Spanking the Donkey: On the Campaign Train With the Democrats will make me feel better."