fembot-less

adj. A sad, sad state. No female robots anywhere! And no sunshine either.

Real citation: "A Fembot-less Bionic Woman?"
(Aug. 1, 2007, TV Guide, http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/Mr-Furleys-Pad/Fembot-Bionic-Woman/800019639)

Made-up citation: "Fembot-less or fembot-ful? That's the question I ask myself every day, down in the lab, the fate of humanity weighing on my mind like a matzo ball."

crapaversary

noun. A day I shall immortalize with my greatest sculpture to date: I call it The Big Poo.

Real citation: "I had a post all written up and blogger disconnected itself and lost it on me. So the jist of my first attempt was to say that I had to apologized to Husband for our Anniversary turning into a Crapaversary. Because I was sick. Boo hoo me. We had Chinese take-out for supper, I bought a heart-shaped black forest cake for dessert (can you feel the love) and then I went to bed at 8:00. Before my children. And then Tigger was up the next morning at 5:00 bowing down to the porcelain throne, but he's better today and back to school. Me, not so much. Coffee is burning my stomach. Not good not good not good. It's almost noon and I don't feel awake yet. But I did get my roses. 15 of them. One for each year we've been married. They are beautiful, but I don't have the energy to take a picture of them yet."
(Feb. 16, 2007, Moments in Time, http://thefunfarm.blogspot.com/2007/02/fooey.html)

Made-up citation: "How can we celebrate the crapaversary of the dark day we met? If an atomic drano wedgie is involved, I'm in."

LVPCILF

noun. Losing vice-presidential candidate I'd like to film, in a tasteful setting, with candles and earmarks to set the mood.

Real citation: "LVPCILF (Losing Vice Presidential Candidate…)"
(Aug. 29, 2008, Wonkette, http://wonkette.com/402356/alaska-gilf-is-maybe-veep-after-all)

Made-up citation: "All the jokes about the LVPCILF have already been made, and this pic is my favorite. Heh heh chortle cackle hee..."

(Thanks to Ben Zimmer for finding this word in a steaming pile of comments)

arch-buttmunch

noun. Like an arch-bishop, except... What was the difference again?

Real citation: "archie is the arch-buttmunch"
(Nov. 3, 2006, It's the Jack Comic Forum, http://www.pholph.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=315613&highlight=&sid=e67244506ee77b053e047e1ce16ca9d2)

Made-up citation: "Son, you're a little buttmunch now, but you're my buttmunch. I'm proud of your buttmunchitude. Someday, the villagers will know you as arch-buttmunch! On that day, you'll make your grand-buttmunches so proud."

squatch-thusiast

noun. An admirer and scholar of the Bigfoot--the Sasquatch!--the giant roaring monkey-man-monster I think I spotted piddling in the gazebo just now... Oh, sorry, that was your mom again.

Real citation: "For that, you deserve great praise my friend. On behalf of all of us out here in the squatch-thusiast field, I want to thank you for that. I am comfortable in the knowledge that now that you are involved, we can be confident that we’re going to get some straight answers."
(Aug. 5, 2008, The Squatchdetectiveblog, http://www.webjam.com/squatchdetective/the_squatchdetective_blog/$the_squatchdetective_blog/2008/08/05/stress_and_bigfoot_research)

Made-up citation: "Being a squatch-thusiast is just part of who I am, Veronica. What can I say? There's something about those giant, mythical, proud piles of hair that really warms my cocoa. Sure, some hair also gets in my cocoa, theoretically speaking. But sweet Veronica, lady friend of my life, I cannot change!"

neuro-psycho-whacko

adj. A word best omitted from resumes, I reckon--unless the position is Brigadier Batshit in the Cuckoo Corps of Nutburger-brained Whackaloons.

Real citation: "You really blew it, Garth, with that phoney average Canadian ‘Ben’ question .. because there are no average Canadians on your fine forum … only a bunch of neuro-psycho-whacko Liberal partisans who fill the forum with their hate-filled daily drivel. I hope you don’t read that rubbish to energize yourself in the HoCs."
(Garth Turner, May 29, 2008, The Turner Report, http://www.garth.ca/weblog/2008/05/28/committee-of-the-hole/)

Made-up citation: "Jed the shih-tzu just left after a weeklong stay, and my neuro-psycho-whacko rat terrier Monkey is sad. It's like somebody took the crack out of his cornflakes..."

she-doofus

noun. A doofus of the fairer and female-ier sex.

Real citation: "It’s a spillage of 20-30 towel magnitude. In the midst of my embarrassment and contrition for being so negligent, I still manage to take note of how the lapping low waters reflect the light so that it dances on the bottom of the bathroom door. 'Oh how lovely :)' thinks she-doofus."
(June 16, 2008, Thinking Coral, http://thinkingcoral.wordpress.com/2008/06/16/what-a-resume/)

Made-up citation: "My mama is a she-doofus? Are you kidding me? My mama? Your mama is a she-eight-headed-snake-beast. She doesn't need to read the Bible; she's in the Bible! In the apocalyptic hosebag chapters."

what-the-bleepishness

noun. A euphemtastic quality that is widely available in the tri-state region.

Real citation: "salima has been at massage school, tirelessly (and probably in futility) fighting to drill a hole of clear blue sky through the hazy shroud of 'what-the-bleepishness' that hangs over austin….just a little hole, a pinprick, with a chisel and not terribly gracefully….this really is a kind of hilarious crusade where i feel a bit like don quixote in a dali painting….but please don't assume that means i go ranting at all and every spooky belief….i got my own spooky stuff, i'm sure….."
(Gaia Community, http://www.gaia.com/data/printable_comment?id=133373)

Made-up citation: "Don't blame your what-the-bleepishness on me, sonny. As your father, I gave you my home, my dreams, my legacy, and a yellow-bellied marmot named Queen Elizabeth. Your what-the-bleepitude is your own."

DMV-stapo

noun. A term for employees of the Department of Motor Vehicles that suggests, deep in their hearts, they are not actually cuddly bunnies ready to snuggle and coo.

Real citation: "So this pissant, who has no power in his life but to become a DMV-stapo soldier for the cause of bureaucracy and denied beers on the hottest of days decides that he has no choice but to put his foot down because 'we have laws here and if you don't like it, go back to where you came from.'"
(July 23, 2007, The Unapologetic Mexican, http://www.theunapologeticmexican.org/elgrito/2007/07/nonsequitur_of_the_week.html)

Made-up citation: "My guidance counselor said, given my interesting grades and natural talents, I should consider a career as a member of the DMV-stapo. Or guidance counselor."

hench-rodent

noun. A mammal with lower self-esteem than most.

Related terms: henchboobs, henchbreasts, hench-bunny-men, henchchicken, henchdoofus, henchdork, henchgoon, henchho, henchmoron, henchnoncorporeal being, henchscum, underhenchling.

Real citation: "It started out on Animaniacs as a series of short skits about two genetically engineered lab mice. Every night, Brain hatches a plot to take over the world with Pinky as his faithful (if insane) hench-rodent."
(April 8, 2007, http://www.answerbag.co.uk/q_view/190042)

Made-up citation: "There's something I don't trust about my loyal hench-rodents. I think some could be rat bastards."

neandergoat

noun. 1) An unholy cross-breed of a cavefella and a goat. 2) The proud ancestor of our modern goats, including the billy and the scape.

Real citation: "The Kinder Billy is a scruffy looking beast. I call him a 'Neandergoat' because he looks like a goat version of a caveman. He's real friendly, which is ok - until they are in "rut". It's NOT a good idea then."
(March 19, 2008, Scroungeman, http://scroungeman.blogspot.com/2008/03/more-newbies.html)

Made-up citation: "To make Oprah's special Satanic brownies, the eye boogers of a neandergoat must be dissolved in the blood of a virgin, the ear wax of a meercat, and a shitload of chocolate."

Mr. Suddenly-Non-Turd

noun phrase. A title I hope to earn, any minute now.

Real citation: "Ryan: weeps. Says it was awesome to hear his wife’s voice while they both start crying. He says his wife is his biggest supporter, and says that talking to her for even five minutes is a treat. Awww. That’s the love talkin’, Mr. Suddenly-Non-Turd."
(Nov. 12, 2004, Fans of Reality TV, http://www.fansofrealitytv.com/forums/official-articles/38001-biggest-loser-recap-11-9-snoop-dogg-tuna-amazing-race-amazing-race.html)

Made-up citation: "Allow me to introduce Mr. Suddenly-Non-Turd. And here's his wife, Mrs. Defiantly-Still-Turd. Ah, romance!"

ca-something-or-other

noun. May involve cacamajiggery, or whatever. Who knows?

Real citation: "There is a proper term for it but i cant remember it lol Ca-something-or-other. Poo is basically the left over food our bodies dont use up, so its got nutrients and alsorts of good stuff in there that animals (not just dogs) for some strange reason enjoy."
(Yahoo Answers, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080628073439AAc2Vse)

Made-up citation: "I am so happy my dog does not have the gross predilection known as ca-something-or-other. Unlike some unsavory pooches in the park, he deserves a pork medal for following a non-poo-eating lifestyle. Come to think of it, so do I."

self-destructive-y

adj. Not recommended by doctors. Highly recommended by poets.

Real citation: "My past has good and bad elements in it. When I notice a bad element reconstructing itself, I try to be brave, but often, I turn my head and walk in the other direction and wait to hear news back. Being partnered has really changed my life, but sometimes, especially when we are both working and I have *no* time to myself... my 'I' get slippery all over again and I feel all self-destructive-y."
(Dec. 19, 2005, Tribe, http://12th.tribe.net/thread/16cafb9c-a960-4f14-a22b-de4c83201cde)

Made-up citation: "I warn you, give me the duck, or I will engage in disturbing, Christ-like, self-destructive-y acts! That's my duck, and you and I are through, Professor."

buttmentum

noun. Along with God-mentum and dog-mentum, one of the strongest forces in the greater metropolitan region.

Real citation: "The next two types of mentum that we must be aware of produce the best results when they are as equally balanced as possible. One is called buttmentum. Buttmentum is the theory of the downward force produced against the human body that is in direct proportion to the mass of the human's butt. People with large butts must contend with a stronger force of buttmentum than those who have smaller butts."
(Dec. 12, 2007, Grandma is an Idiot!, http://grandmaisanidiot.blogspot.com/2007/12/mentum.html)

Made-up citation: "After six years of working out, I have honed my buttocks to a razor-sharp edge. I am in awe of my ungodly buttmentum, as are the villagers. I can open beer bottles, soothe angry mobs, and perform invasive surgery with this thing."

turbo-numbnuts

noun. Why settle for a paleo-numbnuts? You deserve a numb, nutty upgrade.

Real citation: "Oh Laud! When will it end! Must I forever guard my musk, enduring drunken mooing from various nankers, eschewing non-synapse firing nougat-brains, plucking principle amidst dis-operational 16 piece chicken Mcnuggetheads, bitch-slapping the occasional weenie-wrappers and odd turbo-numbnuts, cleaning cultural clocks amongst low-viscosity art bobos, ridiculing reprobate poot-butts of every shoe size and hair-style, ditching clueless dingleberries, confounding fish-eyed cud-knoshers, dry-gulching booger-nose funksters, fish slapping hog-faced clod cuddlers, hair-lipping freestyle pud tweekers, blind siding dank spankers, thumb jamming clam slammers, delousing big-hair nancy boys, head-butting star-eyed slack jawed mouth breathers, greasing pendejo DJs, and gagging bone chokers."
(Carl Gordonini, May 1, 2007, http://www.haloscan.com/comments/creature2012/3180339722783802194/)

Made-up citation: "A wise man once told me, 'You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can keep a turbo-numbnuts off your porch with the right firearm.'"

Batmanliness

noun. A quality that cannot be found in the heart or spandex of Superman, Spider-man, or Boffo the Wonder Pig.

Real citation: "1. I hit the copier with a Baterang, causing it to start working. Attractive colleague swoons at my Batmanliness but I catch her before she falls. I make my exit with a powered grappling hook fired out the window."
(July 24, 2007, Gamers With Jobs, http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/node/33453)

Made-up citation: "I cannot believe that you--you of all people, you plague of a pig of a prick sandwich!--would question my Batmanliness. Evidently, you haven't been introduced to the Batvibrator."

toaster whisperer

noun phrase. A quiet, Yoda-type professional who plunges no knives into toast-giving appliances. He is the knife! You are the knife. I am the butter.

Real citation: "Chronos, you are a true 'toaster-whisperer'. :tongue:"
(Sept. 22, 2004, http://www.physicsforums.com/archive/index.php/t-44045.html)

Made-up citation: "If there's one thing I learned in Vietnam, it's this: Don't ask a toaster whisperer to do cat exorcisms."

hhhnnnnnnngggggg

interjection. Caution to writers: Not interchangeable with aaaaiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Real citation: "My brother taught me a new expression the other day: 'hhhnnnnnnngggggg!!! It supposedly captures the feeling of ready-to-explode stress/agony/pain."
(Aug. 20, 2008, Around the Horn, http://web.cornell.edu/studentblogs/jennifer/)

Made-up citation: "Here's a word to sum up my week: hhhnnnnnnngggggg. Here's another: fuck-fuck-fuck-fuckity-fuck. Here's a third: Is murder a serious crime in this country? Because it would certainly resolve a few issues that are getting pesky, as they say in the buisness."

robobrarian

noun. A large category, encompassing many practical fembotbrarians--and sultry bookbots too.

Real citation: "This is the second story on the RoboBrarian at Johns Hopkins"
(Aug. 1, 2002, Librarian and Information Science News, http://www.lisnews.org/node/4920)

Made-up citation: "I'm awash in jealousy and confusion. I came home early to find the robobrarian and the can opener making zoo noises in the gazebo! I think it's gay marriage's fault."