blah-illion

noun. Sounds like a big whatever-load.

Real citation: "Each block of three is written as 'blah hundred an blah-dy blah blah-illion'. For example, the '723' is read as 'seven hundred and twenty three thousand' (yes, an exception to the '-illion' rule) and the '56' is read as 'fifty six million')."
(March 8, 2008, xkcd, http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=22054&p=658698)

Made-up citation: "I have blah-illion reasons why I love you. I just can't seem to think of any."

hair-ma-geddon

noun. Oh, the hair-manity!

Real citation: "hair-ma-geddon
remember that guy with the long hair on the bus?
his name is tim. he's in my class."
(Aug. 4, 2009, miss. chief's blog, http://www.misschiefsblog.com/2009/08/hair-ma-geddon.html)

Made-up citation: "It takes a mystical sword and the sacred parchments to avert an apocalypse, but the hair-ma-geddon can be stopped instantly with a hat."

celebu-swine

noun. Porky Pig qualifies.

Real citation: "This Little Piggie is a Celebu-swine!"
(Aug. 4, 2009, Ellie Brecher, The Miami Herald Blog, http://miamiherald.typepad.com/crazy_for_critters/2009/08/this-little-piggie-is-a-celebuswine.html)

Made-up citation: "From small celebu-swine grow enormous plates of delicious celebu-bacon."

snore-gasmic

adj. Ooh-la-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Real citation: "@moryan Another question about Singer-helmed BSG re-re-boot. Did anyone at Universal see his snore-gasmic Superman Returns? All of it?"
(Aug. 15, 2009, Craig M. Ranapia, Twitter, http://twitter.com/CraigRanapia/statuses/3337047748)

Made-up citation: "I wouldn't want reviews of my hot wings to include the word snore-gasmic, but I'm OK with it appearing in my obituary."

third-person-osity

noun. Mark Peters is enjoying this definition. Oh yeah.

Real citation: "Talking on Twitter without my usual third-person-osity is HARD"
(Aug. 22, 2009, Mike Stanton, Twitter, http://twitter.com/DoGudSnd/statuses/3473432579)

Made-up citation: "If you can't handle the third-person-osity, then maybe you're not ready to date Mark Peters and his tight abs, smooth testicles, pert buttocks, and watermelon-sized man-hooters."

re-re-re-unretire

verb. A zigzagging process that may indicate "spending time with family" isn't exactly a chocolate cake made of rainbows.

Real citation: "NFL bonanza: Favre re-re-re-unretires, the Raiders/Cable murkiness"
(Aug. 18, 2009, Tim Kawakami, Talking Points, http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2009/08/18/nfl-bonanza-favre-re-re-re-unretires-the-raiderscable-murkiness/)

Made-up citation: "Someday I hope to re-re-re-unretire. Now I just need to find a job, a career, and pants."

hench-chimp

noun. Of all the hench-primates, this one is most closely related to the hench-bonobo.

Real citation: "Train a gang of monkeys to be my loyal hench-chimps."
(March 29, 2007, MCF's Nexus of Improbability, http://mysteriouscloakedfigure.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "Note to self: don't house the hench-chimps and hench-bananas together again."

turbo-destructo-pup

noun. Also known in my culture as "puppy".

Real citation: "Candy is very close to our vision of the ideal whippet. Well, she is now. She was a sweetheart of a baby puppy -- not at all the typical turbo-destructo-pup we've come to expect from whippet youngsters."
(Sept. 5, 2008, Timbreblue Whippets, http://timbreblue.com/dogs/candy)

Made-up citation: "I see your new turbo-destructo-pup is going Old Testament on the sofa cushions. Nice. Even the Old Testament wasn't this brutal and romantic."

scoundrel-osity

noun. Han Solo had it. You can have it too for $99.99 and an original copy of your genome.

Real citation: "me too - I'm lovin' the inter-tubes...
...where lying scoundrels have literally microseconds to exist before their scoundrel-osity is exposed for all to see, in living color ;-)"
(Oct. 4, 2008, Daily Kos, http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/4/211344/750/45/620343)

Made-up citation: "Is it my scoundrel-osity that scares women off, even as my chest hair afro draws them ever closer? I am a paradox."

nano-diddly-squat

noun. Add nano-diddly to nano-squat, and this is what you got.

Real citation: "The recent closing of the University of Wyoming’s S.H. Knight Geological Museum due to budget constraints resulted in an uproar of protest from paleontologists, geologists, others in the scientific community, and the public. On June 30, 2009, the museum closed its doors and the job of the museum’s director, paleontologist Brent Breithaupt, was terminated along with that of a part-time employee. Sure, times are tough all over. But we’re talking about a museum with an annual operating expense of only $80,000. In today’s world of massive bailout mania this amounts to less than nano-diddly-squat."
(July 24, 2009, Science Buzz, http://www.sciencebuzz.org/taxonomy/term/14)

Made-up citation: "How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways: nano-diddly-squat. Want me to alphabetize the ways next?"

handjob-ologist

noun. A specialist who may practice even without years of medical training.

Real citation: "'She's like a handjob-ologist!' -Max"
(Aug. 22, 2009, Carlos Santiago, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LoskyS/status/3485100345)

Made-up citation: "No one wants to hear, 'Your sister's a handjob-ologist!' Except me. Hey, it's a step up from lawyer."

beer gut-ify

verb. A complex embiggening process.

Real citation: "Rule of Girl Life: The douchier the ex-boyfriend, the more likely it is that he'll stay hot. Facebook needs a 'beer gut-ify photo' option."
(Aug. 18, 2009, Zolora, Twitter, http://twitter.com/zolora/status/3392245269)

Made-up citation: "It's easy to drink a lot of beer without beer gut-ifying yourself. Nine hours a day at the gym and you're good."

scentofawomantaur

noun. A primordial Pacino-esque beast.

Real citation: "We need some new mythological creatures. I propose the scentofawomantaur. Half Al Pacino, half horse. Speaks in hoo-ahs."
(Aug. 18, 2009, Tim Siedell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/badbanana/status/3396263583)

Made-up citation: "We'll never know if cavemen or asteroids killed the scentofawomantaur, or if it killed its own career by appearing in dozens of horrible movies."

post-dinner-sinner

adj. The dessert of champions.

Real citation: "Wife's been cockblockin' me all day. As she left to meet friend, she made post-dinner-sinner overtures, but I don't buy it. Betcha I tug it."
(Aug. 18, 2009, Kevin Smith, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ThatKevinSmith/status/3397337757)

Made-up citation: "I have always had to curtail post-dinner-sinner activities due to explosive bowel syndrome--the not-so-silent killer."

snausage feet syndrome

noun phrase. A great reason to always wear hooker boots around your dog.

Real citation: "WebMD thinks I either had too much salt today or am experiencing acute liver failure. Curiously, no mention of 'Snausage Feet Syndrome'."
(Aug. 19, 2009, killorn, Twitter, http://twitter.com/killorn/statuses/3401643383)

Made-up citation: "I never used to like looking at women's feet till I moved to the big city, where more money is spent per toe than per child in the schools. Now, I'm a foot-liker to rival Quentin Tarantino. Of course, snausage feet syndrome could probably scare me straight."

prosti-pouting

adj. A facial expression rarely observed on the late Mother Theresa.

Real citation: "Can't say that I'm disappointed in the prosti-pouting plastic divas demise. The thought of a doll dressed in fishnets, boas, heavy makeup and miniskirts marketed to 4-8 year old girls is at the least disturbing, and even more so, is watching companies advocating this sexuality on young children. Wasn't it enough with the busty wasp waisted Barbie?"
(Dec. 4, 2008, Elysian Field Originals, http://elysianfieldoriginals.blogspot.com/2008/12/prosti-pouting-plastic-divasis-this-end.html)

Made-up citation: "I think I'd be more successful if I practiced prosti-pouting more... How does that look? No, I didn't poo myself."

special agent-tastic

adj. See this gun? Well, it's not only a gun. It may appear to be a small, deadly gun, but it is really a freaking enormous, super-deadly turbo-gun that can blow up buildings. It's also a waffle iron.

Real citation: "@jeremyduns is now also tweeting as his character @pauldark1969 from his novel, FREE AGENT. Follow him for some special agent-tastic action!"
(Aug. 17, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/simonschusterUK/statuses/3361147905)

Made-up citation: "I think my new utility belt is quite special agent-tastic. See it? No, you can't. Exactly my point."

shit-splosive

adj. May involve a turdtastrophe.

Real citation: "Today has been like the crazy shit-splosive exclamation point on my shitty week. Sad part is, it isn't over yet."
(Aug. 7, 2009, John Cox, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Mr_Kree/statuses/3185090663)

Made-up citation: "Words I don't want to see in my obituary: autoerotic, clown, shit-splosive, bear, trident."

de-clutter-ification

noun. A cleansing process. No, not for your colon. Get a grip!

Real citation: "work till 730 then coming back home to clean some more, the de-clutter-ification has begun"
(Aug. 13, 2009, Morgan Phillips, Twitter, http://twitter.com/morganza21/statuses/3292600548)

Made-up citation: "The de-clutter-ification of my apartment has begun, and I still have three nukes left. This is going well."

buttface-edness

noun. A quality possessed by all buttfaces--and a few assfaces too.

Real citation: "@algonquinrt 'buttfacedness' yes, 'buttfaceness' no. BTW I pronounce it 'buttface-edness' JS"
(Aug. 11, 2009, Miss Kitty, Twitter, http://twitter.com/booboo_kitty33/statuses/3251142424)

Made-up citation: "If you think buttface-edness is horrible, what would you say about facebutt-edness? It might be a good month to stay away from the latest medical journals."

attack-majiggy

noun. A violent yet vague something-whatsit.

Real citation: "The sinusitis attack-majiggy
I hateeeeeee it when my sinuses flare up and there's that constant feeling of a strong sneeze coming on, coupled with burning nostrils! Argggh!!! This one nasal spray I am using gives me relief for a an hour at most. This is the one bad thing of Oman. It's so hot everywhere outside that if you are in an air conditioned room and then back outside in the heat one too many times, there are chances of having some kind of allergy/cold situation."
(May 27, 2009, Nafisascope, http://vanillasmush.blogspot.com/2009/05/sinusitis-attack-majiggy.html)

Made-up citation: "Beware of imminent attack-majiggies! You may need to yada yada the blah blah at any whatever!"

ham-rizon

noun. Like the horizon, but more piggy and delicious.

Real citation: "As to whether Iberico lives up to the hype, well... it depends on how much of a Ham Nerd you are, and how seriously you take things like 'trendiness' and 'European' and 'expensive = good.' That said, this meat is making waves from London to Paris to Rome, cities not lacking in native cured delicacies. So if you are a ham-thusiast looking to broaden your ham-rizons, this is probably worth a quarter pound investment. And if you want to wade in slowly, Despana has a fantastic selection of Serrano, house-made chorizo, and delicious blood sausage. So head on down, and make merry Iberian style. Just don't forget to close your eyes and pay respect to those noble pigs who roam the great Spanish plains..."
(Sept. 23, 2008, The Porkchop Express, http://www.porkchop-express.com/2008/02/bring-me-ham-of-alfredo-garcia.html)

Made-up citation: "It's time to expand our ham-rizons. Honey? Instead of a wedding dress and tux, let's wrap ourselves in bacon. I want this wedding to be special--and very appealing to bears."

un-holiday-ish-esque

adj. It's not Christmas, Santa, so why are you here? Does this mean you're finally leaving Mrs. Claus for my sister?? Oh, happy day!

Real citation: "The eve of a nat'l holiday (& mid-week vacation day), but feeling decidedly un-holiday-ish (esque?) But only 3 more sleeps til I flee town!"
(June 30, 2009, agirlnamedkelly, Twitter, http://twitter.com/agirlnamedkelly/statuses/2411184114)

Made-up citation: "Though my demeanor and garb may appear severe and un-holiday-ish-esque, on the inside I am festive: I wrapped tinsel around both lungs, and stuffed a mistletoe up my butt. You can't undeck my halls, jack."

douche-anova

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

throwupitudinous

adj. Barfitudinous.

Real citation: "I heard the word blingitude on a commercial. It was a really bad commercial too. It made me feel throwupitudinous."
(Aug. 8, 2009, On Words and Upwords, Twitter, http://twitter.com/onWords/status/3192003457)

Made-up citation: "I was just recalling my athletic prime as a collegiate chicken-finger-eating champion... I succeeded because I was never throwupitudinous. Also, I was a master at writhing in pain for about 10 hours, post-competition. Ah, the good old days!"

Chicago-istan

noun. May contain trace elements of Chicago.

Real citation: "I lived in an English town. Very diveres culture. Great food. Very cold. It was names Chicago-istan. It's not far from the border."
(Feb. 25, 2006, My TMMO Community Forum Forums, https://www.mytotalmoneymakeover.com/modules/fusetalk3/forum/messageview.cfm?catid=6&threadid=27920&highlight_key=y&keyword1=vehicle)

Made-up citation: "Dear Zeus, I love being in Chicago-istan. I live in a great neighborhood, with an awesome dog, and my dungeon of virgins is first-rate."

crawl-under-a-rock-y

adj. Shy-y.

Real citation: "feel all gross and crawl-under-a-rock-y ): @wordlust gives good word though (not in a bible-y sense, though. In a yowzah sense)"
(Aug. 7, 2009, Cat Parker, Twitter, http://twitter.com/heysailor00/status/3182641640)

Made-up citation: "When I feel all crawl-under-a-rock-y, I find a bigger rock--like a boulder. Then I push it onto some orphans. Then I feel better!"

blow-shit-up-with-magic-ologist

noun. If this means wizard, then I want to be a wizard.

Real citation: "Am stuck in this Shadowrun mission where 90% of it is hacker-based and I am a blow-shit-up-with-magic-ologist. :P"
(Aug. 2, 2009, Moryera, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Moryera/statuses/3090397481)

Made-up citation: "Future wars will not be fought by nations, or armies, or even robots. They will consist of hellish confrontations between rival blow-shit-up-with-magic-ologists on Showtime."

fugly-pepto-pink

adj. Ew. Also, gag me with something heavy.

Real citation: "@Epiphora weird how that set is vegan friendly and yet fugly-pepto-pink. usually my people have better taste."
(Aug. 2, 2009, Merrill Cotten, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LOLmerrill/status/3084194231)

Made-up citation: "Why don't my co-workers respect me? Is it my fugly-pepto-pink hat and everpresent business snorkel? This economy is murder!"

muffin-top-icity

noun. Oh, the flesh-manity!

Real citation: "Worst part of summer? Blatant muffin-top-icity."
(Aug. 3, 2009, Marne Zollinger, Twitter, http://twitter.com/marnedz/status/3111496431)

Made-up citation: "Muffin-top-icity and sunstroke are two of the top hazards of summer and hell, according to my doctor."

non-inverse-pessimism

noun. I have a bad feeling about this word. Or do I?

Real citation: "It's called non-inverse-pessimism.
Update: I think I may have just triggered a remote mind-wipe on myself."
(May 9, 2009, Whedonverse, http://whedonesque.com/comments/20240#more)

Made-up citation: "I believe in non-inverse-pessimism, but I can't in good conscience recommend it to others. On the other hand, goat's blood is a cure-all."

hobo-stronaut

noun. Maybe they're attracted by the space junk.

Real citation: "@badbanana Yeah, you do it up there and you're an astronaut, down here and you're a hobo...stronaut. (Hmm, I may have a tv show pitch here.)"
(July 31, 2009, John Lynch, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jtlynchjr/statuses/3059751012)

Made-up citation: "Why did I become a hobo-stronaut? Well, sometimes you have to make a compromise between your own dreams and what your parents want you to be."

haiku-stipation

noun. A poetry-stifling blockage that all the prune juice and creative writing workshops in the world won't unclog. (But Spam might).

Real citation: "Just like I have Blogstipation, you have Haiku-stipation.Take some Haiku-Mucil and you'll be fine."
(Feb. 20, 2009, Tessa Scoffs, http://tessascoffs.blogspot.com/2009/02/friday-haiku_20.html)

Made-up citation: "My haiku-stipation lasted years, which pleased everyone around me. And then the dams of my soul burst: 'The beer is flowing / like the beer I spilled--oops--on / the cherry blossoms.'"

non-humany-spirity-thingy

noun. Boooooooooo! That is all I have to say.

Real citation: "Lulu the Vampire/werewolf and Cor the non-humany-spirity-thingy...ey!!!"
(Oct. 5, 2008, Gaia Online, http://www.gaiaonline.com/journal/?mode=view&post_id=23205809)

Made-up citation: "I can deal with zombies, killbots, goblins, and linebackers.... I can defeat them in my sleep. But a non-humany-spirity-thingy? That just gives me the ibby-jibbies. That and aardvarks."

awesome-stosterone

noun. At last! The secret ingredient in awesomesauce.

Real citation: "Where the hell did they find this guy? There’s a 'boy who fell to Earth' quality about him, like David Bowie’s Lady Stardust come to life. It’s a little hard to believe that, until a few months ago, he was toiling away as an obscure understudy in the L.A. production of Wicked. He’s easily the most fun Idol ever, a flam-bam-boyantly queeny California boy who has devoted his nights to making Midwestern housewives slobber into their tubs of Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra. Whether he’s slutting up a rocker like 'Born to Be Wild' ('wiii-eeee-iiyaaaiild!') or sobbing his way through 'Mad World,' he oozes pure awesome-stosterone."
(May 13, 2009, Rob Sheffield, Rolling Stone, http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/05/13/how-adam-lambert-single-handedly-saved-american-idol/)

Made-up citation: "Doctor, I need ten bags of awesome-stosterone, immediately! I need them coursing through my veins! Because I am a loser!"

arch-dumbass

noun. A dumbass above all others! The assiest and dumbest of the lot.

Real citation: "Can the choice of a pot-smoking arch-liberal over a coke-snorting arch-dumbass really make a difference? You bet. You'd better believe it. When I picture my president, I want to feel like he'd be all relaxed... We definitely don't need that SOB (Son of Bush) Mr. GWB Jones with his twitchy, stinky finger poised over the giant, red, candy-like button, folks."
(Nov. 6, 2007, Deep in the Bush, http://rantose.com/archives/bush_means_luv/bush_means_luv.html)

Made-up citation: "I have always aspired to be an arch-dumbass... But I am only a lowly numbnuts! Alas!"

buttmunchology

noun. The sweet science. Well, maybe to a buttmunch.

Real citation: "Sounds like it's time for a career change.
I've heard there's lots of work for a journeymen buttmunch in your neck of the desert.
...and with your skill level in buttmunchology, in that bloomimg market, you should be able to command top dollar. :chili:
Sorry to hear things aren't 100%...or even half of that."
(June 15, 2004, FSB Forums, http://www.fullsizebronco.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-20268.html)

Made-up citation: "My knowledge of buttmunchology is limited... I studied asswipes in college, you know."

ptero-dino-whatsit

noun. A paleo-thingy-saur.

Real citation: "It IS pretty amazing how that thing got through the laser hall, past the mutant gophers and through the secret passageway.....!
Or maybe that's another ptero-dino-whatsit....!"
(April 15, 2009, The Unofficial Forums of Dr. McNinja, http://boxofbaskets.com/drmcninja/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=48&start=190)

Made-up citation: "In a former life, I think I was a brave caveman, hunting the noble ptero-dino-whatsit. Or maybe a sea sponge... I've always understood the plight of the sea sponge so well..."

man-reactiony

adj. May involve wowsers in your trousers.

Real citation: "Not that there wasn't plenty to love here. For one, pretty much every single thing Amy Acker touched was made of gold. Also, the reveal of Alpha's origins of getting all man-reactiony with Echo had some creepy symmetry with Victor and Sierra's storyline."
(May 9, 2009, "1-12: "Omega" 2009.05.08," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3185413&view=findpost&p=11732688)

Made-up citation: "Is it wrong that I feel all man-reactiony about a certain Martian lass, who shall never return my love, because of unfair and outdated astro-love-legislation?"

glam-trashtastic

adj. Part duck, part chicken, part turkey--and all fabulous. Wait... I'm thinking of the turducken. Never mind...

Real citation: "I think 'Glam-trashtastic' might just be my new favorite word."
(July 25, 2009, Zzubie, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Zzubie/statuses/2835553170)

Made-up citation: "Does my apartment qualify as glam-trashtastic? I'm looking for a word to replace squalor."

pulchritudinosity-ish-ness

noun. Looking for pulchritude? You came to the right place, bubba.

Real citation: "And if the silkies don't rate a '10′, there's always the flamboyant pulchritudinosity-ish-ness of pheasants and peacocks…."
(misterfricative, July 12, 2009, Language Log, http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=1573)

Made-up citation: "I like to drink in the pulchritudinosity-ish-ness of a perfect summer day, especially when also drinking a root-beer-and-grain-alcohol float."

geek-history-gasm

noun. Did you know Benjamin Franklin invented the word "spiffy"? Or that Benjamin Franklin never existed? If so, I just pleasured your brain. That'll be thirty dollars.

Real citation: "Oh, this fic is amazing. The Slayer thing is so smoothly integrated into the universe it feels like it's always been there. It's not a huge, glaring LOOK AT ME I'M HERE thing that rushes to arrive to the amazing!revelation (tm). And then there's all the little plots and characters weaving in the foreground, and Mal is so painfully in character, and what you've done with Inara is so very interesting. And when you mentioned that people now assumed that demons and monsters were code words for other things (haha, real demons, surely you jest), I think I just had a geek-history-gasm. XD And now the Slayer weapon!"
(July 5, 2007, FanFiction.net, http://www.fanfiction.net/r/2630093/11/1/)

Made-up citation: "I tried putting the word 'geek-history-gasm' in my course descriptions, but the dean fired me. Now I'm teaching history on the street. I also have a crystal meth problem, and I could really use that thirty dollars."

depuff-ify

verb. Sometimes there's too much puffiness in a wedding, face, or smoking lounge...and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.

Real citation: "So if you’re looking to depuff-ify and depink-ify your wedding planning efforts but could still use a little process and assistance along the way, here’s some ideas about how you might be able to put a couple of software and web apps to use for your wedding planning purposes…"
(April 18, 2007, Virsouq, http://www.virsouq.com/index.php/2007/04/18/geek-love/)

Made-up citation: "Officer! That man depuff-ified my Cheese Puffs! Oh, the cheese-manity!"

fatigue-o-splosion

noun. A veritable yawn-pocalypse.

Real citation: "I was suddenly ambushed by a fatigue-o-splosion at Barnes and Noble."
(June 20, 2009, Dustin Gragg, Twitter, http://twitter.com/FhtagnViduor/statuses/2260678754)

Made-up citation: "After one night of lousy sleep, I was a walking fatigue-o-splosion the next day. I am a weak man. Guess that's why I sold secrets to the Russians and keep sleeping with your sister. Sorry, Mom!"

quadri-butt

noun. I'm no mathematician. Consult your buttockologist.

Real citation: "Looks good in the front - This is super cute looking...however, rather than a light weight short underneath there are kind of thick panties. The problem with them is that they kind of give you quadri-butt....elastic needs to be a bit looser."
(June 11, 2008, Buzzillions, http://www.buzzillions.com/dz_1263262_skirtsports_marathongirl_ultra_reviews)

Made-up citation: "If you had to choose between pancake ass and quadri-butt, would you forego having a tush altogether?"

Dracula-ish/esque

adj. Not so Mother Theresa-ish/esque.

Real citation: "My nephew Sam Arthurs was born 2/7/2009 at 6.55am in the midst of an electrical storm, Noel joked the whole night was Dracula-ish/esque"
(July 2, 2009, Anthony Arthurs, Twitter, http://twitter.com/anthonyarthurs/statuses/2436669821)

Made-up citation: "We all have confidence. We all have doubt. But only a few of us have Dracula-ish/esque creepballs peeking in our window."

choco-terrorist

noun. Oh my. An evil-doer with a creamy center? I can't take the cognitive dissonance. Beer, please!

Real citation: "Let's hear it for the choco-terrorist, the bosomy blonde Birgit who, with a little help from her friend Max Clifford, spread an eclair across Nick Brown's face and herself across the front page of every national newspaper."
(Feb. 14, 2000, Cristina Odone, New Statesman, http://www.newstatesman.com/200002140020)

Made-up citation: "The choco-terrorist must be stopped. Bring him in dead or alive or digested."

snowball's-chance-in-hell-o-meter

noun. A precise device capable of measuring when the moon will crush California or I will get tattoos of Count Chocula and Vic Mackey on my butt (my testicles--those rowdy boys--are a different story).

Real citation: "The Snowball's-Chance-in-Hell-O-Meter
The Eight People Fighting to Be Your Next Mayor"
(July 7, 2009, Dominic Holdem, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-snowballs-chance-in-hell-o-meter/Content?oid=1806389)

Made-up citation: "I think my snowball's-chance-in-hell-o-meter is broken. If not, maybe this is the year PJ Harvey starts returning my calls..."

moral turditude

noun phrase. Because "turpitude" isn't pooey enough for this craptastic world of felgercarb.

Real citation: "Is 'moral turpitude' going to become the next "please explain"? It should, but it won't, of course. Why? Because primitive, tribal squits will never attack one of their own. They always employ a double standard best described as moral turditude."

(May 27, 2003, Die, Fluffy Wuffy, Die!, http://matthaydenwriter1.blogspot.com/2003_05_25_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "My wealth of moral turditude is probably caused by a lack of moral fibre. Or I just don't have a soul, like Mom always said."

unbebunned

adj. Lacking all bebunnitude.

Real citation: "There is nothing anti-Baltic about seeing beef tartar, which first gained popularity as a restaurant dish in Latvia and Estonia during the latter decades of the 19th century when they were still part of Russia, as a way-station in the process that began with meat tenderized and marinated under the saddle, and continued as the deutsches Beefsteak, the hamburg steak, and then bifurcated into the bebunned hamburger and the unbebunned Salisbury steak."
(April 24, 2006, http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/Soc/soc.culture.baltics/2006-04/msg00583.html)

Made-up citations: "Bun theorists are fascinated by unbebunned hot dogs and librarians. No wonder bunology is such a thriving academic discipline."

implode-or-explode-ish

adj. Brain go kaboom! Or anti-kaboom. There's definitely a boom.

Real citation: "Brain feels a little implode-or-explode-ish, but I'm so close to finishing my 3rd chapter, I can taste it!!! Time for belated lunch, first."
(July 13, 2009, Lauren Hall-Lew, Twitter, http://twitter.com/dialect/status/2620825917)

Made-up citation: "Too much coffee makes my bowels swirl in an implode-or-explode-ish cauldron of toxic ick. Then I take the Browns to the Super Bowl, and all is well."

Index Cardus Notetaking-asaurus

noun. A rare beast seldom found in the digital wilds.

Real citation: "One other thing is I'm finally dealing with a problem that has presented itself to me since I started grad school. By that time I had achieved enough financial power to have a laptop throughout grad school. Ever since I purchased the laptop I've been caught between the almost extinct Index Cardus Notetaking-asaurus and the electronic world of research and writing. I have always been a bit of a TechnoNerd so I was leaning heavily toward being fully electronic but several stumbling blocks kept me caught between two worlds:"
(March 11, 2009, Just Jen, http://piercework.typepad.com/just_jen/2009/03/let-it-flow-let-it-flow-let-it-blossomlet-ittext-pen-please.html)

Made-up citation: "Observe the Index Cardus Notetaking-asaurus in its natural habitat! Note its plumage! Look at its strange sexual predilections! (Only $50)."

paleo-lady

noun. A cavewoman?

Real citation: "Ezrael, as an aside, I would like to point out that at times Jon needs others to tell him when he's going too far. It was my belief that he did so with the paleo-lady. I pointed it out, and the behavior changed."
(July 31, 2002, Jon Sullivan Diary, http://www.jonsullivan.com/DiaryDetail.php?pg=364&mat=ddef)

Made-up citation: "I know how to treat a paleo-lady. After a dino-carriage ride and some fire-discovering, we go back to my cave to 'invent the wheel,' if you know what I mean."

AHEMdelusionsofgrandeurAHEM

interjection. What's that you were saying? I was busy surveying my kingdom.

Real citation: "Seriously? You thought someone broke into your house and stole your cat because he has a twitter account? AHEMdelusionsofgrandeurAHEM."
(July 10, 2009, Wry Redhead, Twitter, http://twitter.com/wryredhead/status/2583690335)

Made-up citation: "I have a positive attitude. Whenever the little people saying AHEMdelusionsofgrandeurAHEM, I hear only booyahs, whoo-hoos, bravos, and attaboys, along with whistles and whoops of approval/envy/worship/lust. I love those little people."

abysslessness

noun. Sigh. Where's an abyss when you really need one?

Real citation: "the importance of individual productions is tantamount to the production of an individual, where the other comes from, the self gains space, understandings, questions, fears, anxiety -- but paramount is the production, for when one starts w/ nothing & ends up witha mountain, one asks, "from whence these peaks has this view formed?" & an ever-building altitude is essential for contribution to our great endeavor, so thank you Matt, for taking the time & writing it all down, openly, honestly, w/ heart & vigor -- the influences are to be celebrated, their sweat has given us greater platform away from the abyss/ toward the abyss -- to embrace the abyss via an unrelenting abysslessness thru conduit of self-constructing materiality."
(Sept. 15, 2008, Santiago's Dead Wasp, http://santiagosdeadwasp.blogspot.com/2008/09/so-what-now.html)

Made-up citation: "I wondered why I was having such a great day... Then it hit me: the abysslessness! That jailbreak didn't hurt either."

arghh-ified

adj. Some situations are crying out for an "arghh". Others require a "spluh!" or "aaaaaaaiiiiiieeeeeeeee!"

Real citation: "... A year later they get all arghh-ified. I do think it should be called 'Left 2 Die'. lol"
(June 10, 2009, Tyler Axtell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/SOG_Adino/statuses/2102647897)

Made-up citation: "Your yodeling is solid and shows promise... Now let's try it again--but more arghh-ified and Tom Waits-y."

de-kid-ifying

verb. House apes begone! Farewell, crotchfruit!

Real citation: "De-kid-ifying myself after the holiday rush at work. First step, practice speaking like an adult. Second step, stop blowing raspberries. :)"
(July 4, 2009, Elle White, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ellewhite/statuses/2474653031)

Made-up citation: "Our company specializes in de-kid-ifying and de-demon-ifying: We're the first daycare staffed with trained exorcist practitioners. You're welcome, America!"

bexenu

noun. Like bejesus and besatan, but more scientology-y.

Real citation: "seven!? how the bexenu did that happen?"
(May 26, 2008, Paradox Interactive Forums, http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?t=354545&page=10)

Made-up citation: "When Thor was a kid, Zeus and Papa Smurf used to scare the bexenu out of him... That's before the little guy found his mystical hammer; you can only feel so secure with a mystical snorkel."

Mc-Muffin-gasmic

adj. I should've got this entry sponsored. I wonder if Target would be interested...

Real citation: "Mc-Muffin-gasmic. That looks better than my McDonalds addiction mc-muffins."
(Jan. 7, 2009, Healthy. Happy. Life., http://kblog.lunchboxbunch.com/2009/01/giggling-morning-muffin-sandwich-its.html)

Made-up citation: "True fact: Many women can only achieve a Mc-Muffin-gasmic state when eating pancakes."

catastrophic crotch failure

noun phrase. A serious condition of the groinal region not recommended by nurse practitioners or fashion consultants.

Real citation: "Emily: I'm too hot to put my clothes back on.
Chris: My black combat fatigues had catastrophic crotch failure.
Karen, after a camera flash: Ah! My retinas!"
(May 18, 2007, The Beadbonny Ash, http://artekka.livejournal.com/116619.html)

Made-up citation: "If God didn't want me to have catastrophic crotch failure, he wouldn't have sent an angel to rip my pants."

voodoo-istical

adj. Spooooooooky. Zombies may arise!

Real citation: "There is nothing more voodoo-istical than a Moody bond rating. Berkshire? Down another notch would be appropriate."
(April 8, 2009, The New York Times, http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/08/moodys-strips-berkshire-of-its-triple-a-rating/)

Made-up citation: "I'm firing my trusted spiritual adviser. Gonna spice things up with a sketchy voodoo-istical maniac. Tough economy, you know?"

Fatal Attraction-ization

noun. A bunny-boiling process, methinks.

Real citation: "'Pinguinos' Yeah. Don't try THAT at home. Not in mine anyhow. ;) Fatalattraction-ization of Arjona starts."
(June 8, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/gloryoski/statuses/2081028924)

Made-up citation: "Prepare for the Fatal Attraction-ization of Sesame Street. Elmo's got a stalker!"

soap opera villain-y

adj. Not to be confused with evil twin-y.

Real citation: "When I think of a mad scientist, I think of a guy actively involved in, you know, science stuff. Weird experiments, crazy inventions, and the like. They’re trying to accomplish something, they’ve got some kind of goal. In that respect, the villain in the 1944 train wreck The Monster Maker isn’t really a mad scientist, he’s just sort of a jerk. I mean, he’s a scientist. And he’s definitely mad. Yet all he really does is inject people with a disfiguring disease and then blackmail them for the cure. You don’t have to be a mad scientist to do that. It’s not really mad scientist-y at all. It’s actually kind of soap opera villain-y. Boo."
(Sept. 6, 2008, UncleBear, http://unclebear.com/?p=877)

Made-up citation: "I'm seeking a soap opera villain-y seductress with a swanky snorkel. Just like Mom..."

whatever-whatever-ology

noun. The science of yada yada, blah blah, and you-figure-it-out-cakes.

Real citation: "Then, there were documentaries produced by Discovery and National Geographic channels, in which various "experts" in history, theology, archeology, whatever-whatever-ology were interviewed and asked to prove Brown right or wrong. These were at least interesting to watch, but the only conclusion I made watching them was - you know your book is a superb success when they call in experts to prove you wrong. Then, there was even a lawsuit! (Come on la! People will do anything to get quick money)."
(May 23, 2006, Ahem!, http://neil-y.blogspot.com/2006/05/da-vinci-code.html)

Made-up citation: "According to leading scholars of whatever-whatever-ology, this kajigger cannot be fixed with a doowhackey. It requires a thingamabob."

besnorkled

adj. Like bepancaked, but not as breakfast-y.

Real citation: "When you plumb in the jacuzzi for the hedgehog you'll get stung.
If you're a low user then it should only be good for you, and you're in control (to a large extent, not entirely) how much you spend on water.
The besnorkled one should bound into view soon enough."
(Jan. 7, 2008, Downsizer.net, http://forum.downsizer.net/about28581-0.html&sid=a13f8214c3f07eef82b85138ac5c347b)

Made-up citation: "Behold the besnorkled buffoon! This human zoo is awesome."