poodle-pocalypse

noun. At least when the end comes, we'll be able to laugh at its haircut.

Real citation: "@jeyberg74 Ack, the poodle-pocalypse!"
(May 12, 2010, Twitter, http://twitter.com/aaronpolson/status/13864145038)

Made-up citation: "No one knows exactly what a poodle-pocalypse is or why it has been foretold for minutes, except this: no allergies. Sweet."

pissed-off-osity

noun. May be caused by immodest ingestion of rageahol.

Real citation: "Words don't describe my pissed-off-osity right now. DO NO DESCRIBE."
(May 20, 2010, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jerocrowe/status/14387973474)

Made-up citation: "I don't often engage in senseless pissed-off-osity, but when the servants forget to lick-clean the door handles, I lose it."

old-people-tastic

adj. Elderly-licious.

Real citation: "@dangervillage it is old-people-tastic!!"
(May 26, 2010, Maura Johnston, Twitter, http://twitter.com/maura/status/14799865924)

Made-up citation: "I avoid restaurants whose chicken fingers are commonly called 'old-people-tastic'. That's just how I was raised."

meeting-gasm

noun. I guess Powerpoint hits some people right where they live.

Real citation: "just had a meeting with an EXTREMELY cool client. damn, i think i have a meeting-gasm.."
(May 26, 2010, Evita Aprilia, Twitter, http://twitter.com/epitavril/status/14743572033)

Made-up citation: "The lack of meetings in my life has meant a lack of meeting-gasms. On the upside, I haven't killed anybody this year."

groinicure

noun. The holy grail of crotchular curation.

Real citation: "@wordlust A groinicure. Isn't it what we all want?"
(May 31, 2010, Jill Elswick, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jillelswick/status/15123272432)

Made-up citation: "Whether I need it or not, I get a groinicure every Memorial Day. You're welcome, America."

sweltering-ier

adj. A word used often in summer and/or hell.

Real citation: "@addknitter I imagine it's even sweltering-ier in Athens."
(May 26, 2010, spillyjane, Twitter, http://twitter.com/spillyjaneknits/status/14800909900)

Made-up citation: "I don't know why my basement is sweltering-ier than my attic, unless it's those hellish flames acting up again..."

tv-destroying-thingy-majiggy

noun. A terrible majiggy! Please, let's not dwell on it.

Real citation: "@mokpow i think i'll watch with a pitchfork and a tv-destroying-thingy-majiggy weapon next week. :)"
(March 20, 2010, Angela Gabrielle, Twitter, http://twitter.com/forte_alice/status/14352186897)

Made-up citation: "The only thing worse than a tv-destroying-thingy-majiggy would be a beer-destroying-thingy-majiggy. Don't get any ideas, science!"

soul matey-eyed

adj. A more barfy form of goo-goo eyes.

Real citation: "I brought a blanket, says Charlie. And of course, it's he and Claire who get all soul matey–eyed. Which is totally confusing, because wasn't Charlie ALREADY enlightened? Wasn't that the whole point of him driving Desmond off the bridge?"
(May 24, 2010, Emily Nussbaum, New York, http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/05/lost_recap_finale_the_end.html)

Made-up citation: "I thought I was the master of getting all soul matey-eyed with the ladies. Then I went to the ophthalmologist, and he cleared that mess up."

pre-monster-ization

adj. A lovely period in a monster's life that is mostly free of torch-wielding villagers.

Real citation: "@chicotherobot me too!! pre-monster-ization"
(May 21, 2010, Katie Johnson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/BonesAches/status/14430501978)

Made-up citation: "I miss my pre-monster-ization phase... Some days, I just don't feel like killing everything I see, you know?"

Betty Bringer-downer

noun. The real reason Archie chose Veronica?

Real citation: "I hate to be Betty Bringer-downer, but maybe we should talk about things we didn't like about the show."
(May 24, 2010, Liz Kelly, Celebritology 2.0, http://voices.washingtonpost.com/celebritology/2010/05/lost_dueling_analysis_the_end.html)

Made-up citation: "I've never been a Betty Bringer-downer. I'm more of an Orville Organ-stealer. Sorry about that."

douchebag-otomy

noun. Finally, medicine came up with something useful.

Real citation: “I wonder if it would be possible to give the guy upstairs a douchebag-otomy? Or should that be a douchebag-ectomy? You know what I mean.”
(May 19, 2010, James R, Twitter, http://twitter.com/lifeofjames/status/14329937685)

Made-up citation: "Never do a lobotomy when a douchebag-otomy will suffice. Well, unless you're in one of those moods, Dr. Vargas."

trainwreck-splosion

noun. Literally or metaphorically, a disaster-mageddon.

Real citation: "@cnevett yes but conflict + crazy call in factor? Trainwreck splosion"
(May 13, 2010, Sean Witzke, Twitter, http://twitter.com/switzke/status/13945557367)

Made-up citation: "Some say my love life is a Cylonoscopy or trainwreck-splosion. Nonsense. You're being much too hard on your mom."

Cylonoscopy

noun. The most invasive procedure in all of Cylonology.

Real citation: "For more in-depth internal scans for problems, there's the ever-dreaded ...Cylonoscopy."
(Feb. 25, 2007, Colonial Fleets, http://www.colonialfleets.com/forums/showthread.php?p=257805)

Made-up citation: "I'm a bad fan... I can never remember what episode Dr. Baltar gave a Cylonoscopy to Col. Tigh in the men's room."

cheese-sploitation

noun. A film genre or sandwich that any self-respecting cheese would hide from his mother.

Real citation: "@PapaZeb doode, have you seen 'bitch Slap'? awesome movie in a pure cheese-sploitation way"
(May 13, 2010, Barry Neeson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/connor_obain/status/13902149898)

Made-up citation: "You don't have to be lactose intolerant to think cheese-sploitation films are crap. This goes way beyond dairy, unless you consider Sandra Bullock a dairy product."

mouth-breathermobile

noun. Wheels of the damned. I mean, the dumb. Duh.

Real citation: "A TransAm’s inherent awesomeness was kicked up a significant notch with an impressive burnout demonstration (a symbolic representation of the young buffoon’s ever-so-agile sperm motility, though he likely wasn’t thinking about that, or much else) at Sunset and Western avenues. But the symbolic display of reproductive prowess took a humiliating plummet when the mouth-breathermobile slammed into a fire hydrant, unleashing a prematurely orgasmic fountain of wa-wa. As the dethroned cock-o’-the-block scurried away like a scared kitten in his crumpled chariot, an angered neighbor phoned police with a profanity-peppered report of the incident. As emergency forces sped to the scene, police handily located the slammed TransAm going nowhere fast on Boyd Road. Burnout Boy was returned to the scene to face the music, which took the form of police radios and a witness saying something along the lines of, 'Yeah, that’s him.' The on-call Public Works tech responded and turned off the water."
(May 13, 2010, Kevin L. Hoover, The Arcata Eye, http://www.arcataeye.com/2010/05/when-hobbits-go-wrong-only-a-buzzkill-from-the-skies-can-slow-%E2%80%99em-down-%E2%80%93-may-13-2010/)

Made-up citation: "Don't get between a mouth-breather and his mouth-breathermobile--unless you have a nice sharp knife."

Halliburtonoilpocalypse

noun. Come on, do I have to do everything for you people?

Real citation: "How come the #Halliburton Gulf Oil-geddon doesn't have a cool name, like Gulf Oil-gedden, or Oil-gate, or Halliburtonoilpocolypse?"
(May 12, 2010, Twitter, http://twitter.com/frank1569/status/13877939686)

Made-up citation: "I wish Halliburtonoilpocalypse had more of a ring to it... I could use a name for my unborn child."

John Goodman-ishness

noun. A quality only one person possesses in abundance: your mom. I apologize to John Goodman for any offense this causes.

Real citation: "@SuperEddie Is it my imagination, or does your new Twitter icon have a somewhat John Goodman-ishness to it"
(Feb. 1, 2010, Melanie MacSmiley, Twitter, http://twitter.com/MacSmiley/statuses/8527405410)

Made-up citation: "One of the many pleasures of The Big Lebowski is the ample amount of John Goodman-ishness. Plus, you know, everything."

conclusiastical

adj. Like Ecclesiastical, but more end-y-ish.

Real citation: "Conclusiastical remarks
Hopefully, some of the high-profile athletes in Vancouver will do a similar service to the old, the squishy and the dimwitted by adjusting their current campaign of shame against the unexceptional. Until they learn to play down their physical fitness and warmth and charm, though, they're going to do enormous damage to the morale of millions of regular, ugly, unfunny, stupid Americans. It needs to stop. Today, we draw a line in the snow and say: No more!"
(Feb. 21, 2010, Heather Havrilesky, Salon, http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/heather_havrilesky/2010/02/20/olympics_damages_the_ricky_gervais_show/)

Made-up citation: "I think 'series finale event' is a silly term for the last episode of Lost. Why not 'conclusiastical clusterfuck'? Come on, marketers!"

post-ear-ectomy

adj. Referring to a tough period in the life of a tortured artist, unlucky pro wrestler, or anyone unfortunate enough to spend a night with your mom.

Real citation: "@AllisonJessica well, it's obvs Van Gogh. and i'm going to say it's that self-portrait he did... post-ear-ectomy."
(May 11, 2010, Andrew Sell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/andy_sell/status/13792099333)

Made-up citation: "If your spouse-to-be insists on including the word 'post-ear-ectomy' in your wedding vows, it might be a good time to run for your life or start wearing your Iron Man helmet to bed."

ChakaKhan-ologist

noun. Not the most respected academic field. It does rank higher than your-mom-ologist.

Real citation: "@CurrieTerrell Don't they know you're a ChakaKhan-ologist?"
(April 14, 2010, Justin Biegger, Twitter, http://twitter.com/JustinBiegger/statuses/12187622434)

Made-up citation: "My mom always wanted me to be a ChakaKhan-ologist... Maybe that's because Chaka Khan is my mom. It was hard growing up with the other kids constantly screaming 'Khaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn!'"