electro-torture-ologist

noun. Has a somewhat different specialty than the much sought-after electro-cuddling-ologist.

Real citation: "back from my electro-torture-ologist"
(June 10, 2009, Kathryn Winters, Twitter, http://twitter.com/kathrynwint/statuses/2109237053)

Made-up citation: "I presume an electro-torture-ologist engages in deforesting of the nether-regions... Do they do butt hair too? I'm asking for a friend."

super-mega-butt-crack-destroying

adj. Not a quality I appreciate in underoos.

Real citation: "#crapsuperpowers the ability to fly for 12 hrs a time, but ONLY after you've received a super-mega-butt-crack-destroying old timey wedgie"
(June 9, 2009, Chester McNabb, Twitter, http://twitter.com/chetoftheundead/status/2100293084)

Made-up citation: "Anyone want to buy a pair of hardly used, mint condition, super-mega-butt-crack-destroying nethergarments? These deals won't last!"

sod-mothering

adj. Even sod needs a mommy... Adopt a sod today.

Real citation: "Oh my sod-mothering heavens. I have just played the Tristan Chord on Wagner's Steinway. A piano Liszt played also. And Rubinstein. *faints*"
(June 28, 2009, Stephen Fry, http://twitter.com/stephenfry/statuses/2369926238)

Made-up citation: "You are a sod-mothering, ass-hatting, leg-humping lump of leprous loogies, sources say."

monster-freaking-pocalypse

noun. Now that could spoil a picnic.

Real citation: "MONSTER-FREAKING-POCALYPSE!
Also, MWAHAHAHA! Dibs the British Robot!
Also Also, Twilight Imperium!
Also Also Also, MAKE THE GAME FORUM!
Lotta CAPS in that one. Sorry."
(Aug. 19, 2008, Groovy Gamers, http://www.groovygamers.com/forum/index.php?topic=6196.0)

Made-up citation: "I'm sorry, but I can't see you Saturday. That's the day I wash my hair, and Sunday is the monster-freaking-pocalypse/pancake breakfast. Maybe next weekend!"

atomic space wedgie

noun phrase. I knew there was a reason I'm not an astronaut.

Real citation: "Hell, it's an atomic space wedgie so bad it goes right up the universe's crack and it's coming out its mouth "
(Jan. 12, 2005, The Nightstar Zoo, http://zoo.nightstar.net/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=10950&view=previous)

Made-up citation: "If the new Star Trek wiped out the old timeline, does mean Chekov never gave the atomic space wedgie to Picard?"

erudite-itude

noun. Smarts-itude.

Real citation: "@TomBodett Chicago welcomes you and your erudite-itude."
(June 24, 2009, loosetooth, Twitter, http://twitter.com/loosetooth/statuses/2311628063)

Made-up citation: "You may doubt my erudite-itude, but only because you haven't read my dissertation on worm porn. Of the six stages of 'worm mating behavior', which is your favorite?"

half-wombat-brained

adj. Not sure how half-wombats are doing on standardized tests these days, but this is likely not a compliment.

Real citation: "I'll tell ya what the real bloomin' deal is! The real bloomin' deal is that some half wombat brained twit isn't out there burgling them turds! :P x"
(Dec. 16, 2008, MySpace, http://comment.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewComments&friendID=300775193)

Made-up citation: "I'd rather be a half-wombat-brained buttmunch than a quarter-chicken-feathered assmunch. But that's just me..."

slightly-pseudo-semi-Jennifer-Connelly-like-inspired-ish-esque

adj. If we reach deep into this pile of words with the jaws of life and a pitchfork, we may find Jennifer Connolly.

Real citation: "@NejWej I love the new picture--slightly-pseudo-semi jennifer connolly-like-inspered-ish-esque! Cute Cute Cuteeeeeeees!"
(June 13, 2009, jadeleflore, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jadeleflore/statuses/2156053859)

Made-up citation: "If mail-order-bride catalogs contained descriptions as specific as 'slightly-pseudo-semi-Jennifer-Connelly-like-inspired-ish-esque', we might not have to shut down the mail-order-bride factory. Frickin' economy!"

ham-thusiast

noun. Mmm.... bacon-ologist?

Real citation: "As to whether Iberico lives up to the hype, well... it depends on how much of a Ham Nerd you are, and how seriously you take things like 'trendiness' and 'European' and 'expensive = good.' That said, this meat is making waves from London to Paris to Rome, cities not lacking in native cured delicacies. So if you are a ham-thusiast looking to broaden your ham-rizons, this is probably worth a quarter pound investment. And if you want to wade in slowly, Despana has a fantastic selection of Serrano, house-made chorizo, and delicious blood sausage. So head on down, and make merry Iberian style. Just don't forget to close your eyes and pay respect to those noble pigs who roam the great Spanish plains..."
(Sept. 23, 2008, The Porkchop Express, http://www.porkchop-express.com/2008/02/bring-me-ham-of-alfredo-garcia.html)

Made-up citation: "Every time a wild pig eats a ham-thusiast, an angel gets to eat a cherub wrapped in bacon. That's win-win."

bungmanity

noun. Bungholes are human too. Not like buttmunches, who have no soul.

Real citation: "@JayMewes A finger I can understand but a movie in your bunghole, Jay? Please please no no. Oh the bungmanity!"
(June 21, 2009, Dan Collins, Twitter, http://twitter.com/mrtoons/status/2265950643)

Made-up citation: "There is no statute of limitations for crimes against bungmanity, because that would put a damper on all the fun."

suck on this pancake

verb phrase. My new catchphrase.

Real citation: "Does the pursuit of Happiness make us happy? Suck on this pancake! http://tinyurl.com/l2p8v3"
(June 22, 2009, Rainn Wilson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/rainnwilson/status/2281643568)

Made-up citation: "From the dawn of time till this very moment, people have been trying to express the thought 'suck on this pancake' in song and dance, not to mention rock operas. Now, our journey is completed. The space boat leaves in five minutes--no dawdling."

no-pantsless-bacon-preparation

adj. Referring to a set of rules and customs that have been followed since the days of yore, or possibly pre-yore.

Real citation: "@zuhl So true. Unless you do like I do and bake it on a cookie sheet. Oh yeah, there's a way around the no-pantsless-bacon-preparation rule!"
(June 21, 2009, Wry Redhead, Twitter, http://twitter.com/wryredhead/status/2268710187)

Made-up citation: "Perhaps if the Biblical guidelines regarding no-pantsless-bacon-preparation procedures were followed more rigorously, the a-pork-alypse could have been averted. Alas!"

Robert Downey Jr.-gasm

noun. A very specific event that was definitely not caused by Matthew McConaughey.

Real citation: "I can't even think. Pretty sure I just had a Robert Downey Jr.-gasm."
(June 13, 2009, Elizabeth Hoag, Twitter, http://twitter.com/riza_a/statuses/2157351573)

Made-up citation: "Many Robert Downey Jr.-gasms were caused by Tropic Thunder, but I dunno about that one where he's a reporter helping a homeless musician. That movie looks so bad, I thought it was another satirical trailer on my Tropic Thunder DVD. I'd rather boil my head and tempura my genitals than watch that."

mysterious-osity

noun. Sounds kinda mystery-y-ish-y.

Real citation: "is on holiday! Yes!! Now I can have some time to think and let my thoughts run. Lord thank you for your mysterious-osity!"
(June 13, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/IamWeazel/statuses/2152714926)

Made-up citation: "The grandeur of the cosmos is a great and unfathomable mysterious-osity. Also, I think I have a concussion."

poop-hoser

noun. A hose-wielding eradicator of fecal matter... Or some kind of Canadian, I suppose.

Real citation: "I just took my son and his poop-filled pants to the back yard and hosed him off. I used to play in rock bands, now I'm a poop-hoser. Weeee."
(June 19, 2009, tawnifreeland, Twitter, http://twitter.com/tawnifreeland/status/2240113569)

Made-up citation: "About once a year, my dog forces me to play the role of poop-hoser, when he just can't resist rolling in an ungodly pile of crap that came from a horse, vagrant, or sasquatch-type nethermonster."

humility-meister

noun. Despite my considerable talent, charm, wealth, and strength, the other kids never called me this. Weird.

Real citation: "Matt I am with you and James Geary. I’ve read these pieces in “left wing” news publications and it certainly isn’t a pleasant olfactory sensation I am left with. And yes, I have also heard the humility-meister’s diatribe on how the poor are handing the rich 5K annually per Bush’s cuts. I am still not convinced he really cares though."
(June 9, 2009, Yglesias, http://yglesias.thinkprogress.org/archives/2009/06/larry-summers-on-the-left.php)

Made-up citation: "Wookies don't like to mate with self-conscious humility-meisters. They need a code-orange arrogant hairball to rev their engines. Vulcans, on the other hand, will hump anything that moves, even if it's not moving much, believe me."

Tehran-iness

noun. Look deep into the eyes of a certain Iranian city, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "@Sky2042 Hehe, haven't tweeted in forever... but will comply with Tehran-iness. :D"
(June 15, 2009, Rose. F, Twitter, http://twitter.com/roseisrad/statuses/2186245438)

Made-up citation: "Why is there so much Tehran-iness on the web these days? Are they hosting the Olympics or something?"

kidney-selling-tastic

adj. If you can't afford our kidneys, we also have some great spleens.

Real citation: "Gaah Leeds festival announce faith no more after already selling out, fuelling eBay kidney-selling-tastic prices. What barstewards"
(June 17, 2009, Dave Rawlins, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Piratejuice/statuses/2212882399)

Made-up citation: "I could buy a condo in my neighborhood, but only for kidney-selling-tastic prices. That's why I started organ-harvesting, grave-robbing, and orphan-bottling my way up the corporate ladder. Here's how you can too!"

hamburger-splosion

noun. Warning: may occur in the belly, heart, or toilet area.

Real citation: "@jrosebud Hamburger-splosion"
(June 16, 2009, Nathaniel Miller, Twitter, http://twitter.com/journalistnate/statuses/2194963719)

Made-up citation: "I ready for whatever hamburger-splosions the night brings. Your place or mine, Mayor McCheese?"

co-exorcist

noun. At best, a comrade-in-arms. At worst, someone to hold the holy-water hose.

Real citation: "At wit's end, not to mention utterly frazzled, Casey seeks help from Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman doing a bad imitation of a rabbi), a Kabbala guru who happens to know a thing or two about exorcism. After enlisting the co-exorcist aid of a basketball coach cleric (Idris Elba), the determined duo tie Casey to a gurney in an abandoned building, and get down to business. After much prolonged mayhem and spirit fleeing, it turns out that just a good swat with a crowbar will do the trick nicely."
(Jan. 9, 2009, Two Gays and a Movie, http://twogaysandamovie.blogspot.com/2009/01/jumby-wants-to-be-born-now.html)

Made-up citation: "If you think dating is hard, trying finding a reliable co-exorcist. Nothing strains a relationship quite like driving vicious demons out of innocent host bodies--and there's no summer vacation either."