noun. The quality and essence of something that has been royally pumped full of crass sexual appeal, not unlike a blow-up doll. Pardon me, I've just been informed the preferred term is "Inflatable American."
Related terms: all-wrapped-upedness, backed-upedness, beat-upedness, blowing-upedness, blow-upedness, bottom-upedness, broken-upedness, built-upedness, bundled-upedness, bung-upedness, busted-upedness, catch-upedness, caught-upedness, chalked-upedness, charged-upedness, choked-upedness, chopped-upedness, cooped-upedness, crack-upedness, cuddled-upedness, dipfucked-upedness, fed-upedness, fired-upedness, fucked-upedness, fuck-upedness, funked-upedness, gear-upedness, grown-upedness, hard-upedness, high-upedness, hooked-upedness, hooking-upedness, hung-upedness, hyped-upedness, jacked-upedness, knocked-upedness, made-upedness, mashing-upedness, messed-upedness, mix-upedness, mocked-upedness, not-waking-upedness, one-upedness, pent-upedness, pop-upedness, power-upedness, psyched-upedness, puffed-upedness, pump-upedness, put-upedness, riled-upedness, ripped-upedness, runner-upedness, screwed-upedness, screw-upedness, serious-fucked-upedness, shut-upedness, stirred-upedness, stuck-upedness, stuffed-upedness, suckin’upedness, suck-upedness, total-fucked-upedness, un-made-upedness, warmed-upedness, washed-upedness, wash-upedness, woken-upedness, wound-upedness.
Real citation: "The basic rule of interpreting remade movies is to start with the insistence that the original is better while subvocally recognizing the better pacing and sex-upedness of the Hollywood remake."
(nanio, Jan. 23, 2006, http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:Jx7IRdSm3EwJ:www.quasify.com/+%22sex-upedness%22&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1)
Made-up citation: "Sex-upedness does not necessarily involve sex, though dipfucked-upedness will always involve a dipfuck, according to dudes at a local research university."
Friday, February 24, 2006
milfitude
noun. Look deep into the hotness of a MILF, and this ye shall find.
Real citation: "Despite having the name of someone's uncle, Daryl is way hotter in her milfitude than Uma."
(Rpb406, July 22, 2004, http://wehateerwin.com/search.php?search_author=Rob406&sid=c7961233c6c77f19e3e1d60173482a1e)
Made-up citation: "Lena Olin's got more milfitude than I can fathom, and I can fathom a lot. I'm a real fathomer. She's just HOT, folks."
Real citation: "Despite having the name of someone's uncle, Daryl is way hotter in her milfitude than Uma."
(Rpb406, July 22, 2004, http://wehateerwin.com/search.php?search_author=Rob406&sid=c7961233c6c77f19e3e1d60173482a1e)
Made-up citation: "Lena Olin's got more milfitude than I can fathom, and I can fathom a lot. I'm a real fathomer. She's just HOT, folks."
Thursday, February 23, 2006
anti-kavorka
noun. An essence, mystical power, or animal-magnetismish quality that personally drives women into nunneries or lesbionic activities in droves.
Real citation: "Well, you turned her _into_ a nun, so it seems you have anti-kavorka."
(MikeWrite, June 19, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.books.tom-clancy/msg/305ed42c53aa7cba?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "Though dating does feel like getting a drano enema most of the time, I'm not convinced I have anti-kavorka. Further research is needed."
Real citation: "Well, you turned her _into_ a nun, so it seems you have anti-kavorka."
(MikeWrite, June 19, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.books.tom-clancy/msg/305ed42c53aa7cba?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "Though dating does feel like getting a drano enema most of the time, I'm not convinced I have anti-kavorka. Further research is needed."
perma-sneery
adj. I told you your face would freeze that way.
Real citation: "Doctor Who didn't and yet they're regarded as its defining feature, and though I really shouldn't let these things bother me it's all part and parcel of this perma-sneery attitude the media has now, and I'm fucking sick to the back teeth of it."
(Rob Matthews, Nov. 28, 2003, http://www.pagefillers.com/dwrg/topten10.htm)
Made-up citation: "No one like a perma-sneery putz--not even a portly proctologist."
Real citation: "Doctor Who didn't and yet they're regarded as its defining feature, and though I really shouldn't let these things bother me it's all part and parcel of this perma-sneery attitude the media has now, and I'm fucking sick to the back teeth of it."
(Rob Matthews, Nov. 28, 2003, http://www.pagefillers.com/dwrg/topten10.htm)
Made-up citation: "No one like a perma-sneery putz--not even a portly proctologist."
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
metric dickload
noun. Though actual tallywhackers vary in size from teeny-weeny to circus-freaky, a metric dickload is always more than a mouthful.
Related terms: metric buttload, metric assload, metric arseload, metric bootyload, metric poop-load, metric poo-load, metric shitload, metric crapload, metric fuckload, metric frackload, metric boatload, metric truckload, metric smurfload, metric cuntload, metric cockload, metric pantload, metric pantsload.
Real citation: "Would that be a metric dickload or an Imperial dickload?"
(http://users.erols.com/aburner/quotes.txt)
Made-up citation: "He may not know the difference between a metric dickload and a bazillion, but Alex the parrot does understand the concept of diddly-poo."
Related terms: metric buttload, metric assload, metric arseload, metric bootyload, metric poop-load, metric poo-load, metric shitload, metric crapload, metric fuckload, metric frackload, metric boatload, metric truckload, metric smurfload, metric cuntload, metric cockload, metric pantload, metric pantsload.
Real citation: "Would that be a metric dickload or an Imperial dickload?"
(http://users.erols.com/aburner/quotes.txt)
Made-up citation: "He may not know the difference between a metric dickload and a bazillion, but Alex the parrot does understand the concept of diddly-poo."
Bushtin
noun. The love that can only bloom between George W. Bush and Vladimir Putin.
Related terms: Bennifer, Brangelina, Spuffy, TomKat, Vaunghistan.
Real citation: Bumiller: “Did President Bush misjudge Putin when he said he had looked into his eyes and seen his soul?” Never trust love at first sight. Rice says something that’s not really an answer and unfortunately doesn’t say if Bushtin (Putsh?) is still a couple or not.
(Ana Marie Cox, "Chatology: Digesting the Sunday Spew," Feb. 13, 2006, Wonkette, http://wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-digesting-the-sunday-spew-154401.php)
Made-up citation: "Pootie-Poot and Commander Cuckoo-Bananas were caught canoodling in Kentucky--it's a Bushtin bonanza, live on CNN!"
Related terms: Bennifer, Brangelina, Spuffy, TomKat, Vaunghistan.
Real citation: Bumiller: “Did President Bush misjudge Putin when he said he had looked into his eyes and seen his soul?” Never trust love at first sight. Rice says something that’s not really an answer and unfortunately doesn’t say if Bushtin (Putsh?) is still a couple or not.
(Ana Marie Cox, "Chatology: Digesting the Sunday Spew," Feb. 13, 2006, Wonkette, http://wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-digesting-the-sunday-spew-154401.php)
Made-up citation: "Pootie-Poot and Commander Cuckoo-Bananas were caught canoodling in Kentucky--it's a Bushtin bonanza, live on CNN!"
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
non-bonerish
adj. Yes, we have no bananas.
Real citation: "yea dont worry about it..im on this xanga thing when i should finishing or rather STARTING over due work...hahaha....daughters like mothers? anywhos.....is that your DOG? i want him....bring him to me so i can play with him...in a non bonerish kinda way...haha"
(MonkeeTee, April 26, 2005, http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=morphingsheep&tab=weblogs&uid=249783793)
Made-up citation: "It's never easy for former fuckmonkeys to enjoy a friendship that is completely non-bonerish. Unless they're women."
Real citation: "yea dont worry about it..im on this xanga thing when i should finishing or rather STARTING over due work...hahaha....daughters like mothers? anywhos.....is that your DOG? i want him....bring him to me so i can play with him...in a non bonerish kinda way...haha"
(MonkeeTee, April 26, 2005, http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=morphingsheep&tab=weblogs&uid=249783793)
Made-up citation: "It's never easy for former fuckmonkeys to enjoy a friendship that is completely non-bonerish. Unless they're women."
boinkdom
noun. The land of boinkery, where hot squishy monkey sex is the conjugalicious norm.
Real citation: " One thing for sure: There should be plenty to talk about when two or more AUEers are gathered in the name of boinkdom. There are many sides to this group."
(Maria Conlon, Dec. 28, 2002, groups.google.com/group/alt.usage.english/msg/8448d1272b889a72?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "In the kingdom of heaven, the boinkdom of heaven will melt your face and bake your noodle, if God is a merciful God and not just another asswipe."
Real citation: " One thing for sure: There should be plenty to talk about when two or more AUEers are gathered in the name of boinkdom. There are many sides to this group."
(Maria Conlon, Dec. 28, 2002, groups.google.com/group/alt.usage.english/msg/8448d1272b889a72?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "In the kingdom of heaven, the boinkdom of heaven will melt your face and bake your noodle, if God is a merciful God and not just another asswipe."
Monday, February 20, 2006
fuckheadface
noun. The closest relative of the common fuckfacehead.
Related terms: shitheadface.
Real citation: "Better to succeed entirely at one thing than to be a failure at everything like YOU. Thanks for the superlative, fuckheadface."
(Match 17, 2001, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.games.final-fantasy/msg/5a71b4baade9b0b1?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "I divide the world into two types of people: leprechauns and fuckheadfaces. Wheee!"
Related terms: shitheadface.
Real citation: "Better to succeed entirely at one thing than to be a failure at everything like YOU. Thanks for the superlative, fuckheadface."
(Match 17, 2001, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.games.final-fantasy/msg/5a71b4baade9b0b1?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "I divide the world into two types of people: leprechauns and fuckheadfaces. Wheee!"
sleepwank
verb. A non-master-of-your-domainy, post-sheep-counting, mega-ishy activity that you had better not be doing in the top bunk, mister.
Real citation: "Someone i used to know used to sleepwank, she'd wake up flicking her bean. very embarrising on guide camp."
(Phil, April 26, 2003, http://www.voodoojunkie.com/voodooboard/viewtopic.php?p=172872&sid=ede3cab70df57a388df05276c29e2d08)
Made-up citation: "I thought snoring and jimmy legs were bad qualities in a bedmate...then I read about sleepwanking. Get me to a nunnery, stat!"
Real citation: "Someone i used to know used to sleepwank, she'd wake up flicking her bean. very embarrising on guide camp."
(Phil, April 26, 2003, http://www.voodoojunkie.com/voodooboard/viewtopic.php?p=172872&sid=ede3cab70df57a388df05276c29e2d08)
Made-up citation: "I thought snoring and jimmy legs were bad qualities in a bedmate...then I read about sleepwanking. Get me to a nunnery, stat!"
Friday, February 17, 2006
craptacularosity
noun. Crappy cubed.
Related terms: craptasticosity.
Real citation: “Another warning sign of a movie's craptacularosity is if the trailer contains that song that goes:”
(Filipino Elvis, Aug. 23, 2004, http://chud.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-70151.html)
Made-up citation: "My family had it rough. Grandma died in squalor, and Grandpa died in craptacularosity."
Related terms: craptasticosity.
Real citation: “Another warning sign of a movie's craptacularosity is if the trailer contains that song that goes:”
(Filipino Elvis, Aug. 23, 2004, http://chud.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-70151.html)
Made-up citation: "My family had it rough. Grandma died in squalor, and Grandpa died in craptacularosity."
Thursday, February 16, 2006
circle-jerkesque
adj. When warm looks and warm hands and warm pizzles embrace in a circular (though metaphorical) situation, this word is appropriate.
Related terms: circle-jerky, circle-jerkish, circle-jerkery, circle-jerkage.
Real citation: "It's not encouraging that Ms. O'Malley cites some notoriously circle-jerkesque op-ed writers as her guiding lights. It's like Conservatives citing Ann Coulter."
(Kevin, April 5, 2003, http://calstuff.blogspot.com/2003/04/new-planet-has-pledged-bias.html)
Made-up citation: "Circle-jerkesque behavior isn't just for jerks: fuckwits, cronies, dim bulbs, buttmunches, moonbats, cheese dongs, and doofi have all been observed partaking in circle-jerkitude by smart local scientists."
Related terms: circle-jerky, circle-jerkish, circle-jerkery, circle-jerkage.
Real citation: "It's not encouraging that Ms. O'Malley cites some notoriously circle-jerkesque op-ed writers as her guiding lights. It's like Conservatives citing Ann Coulter."
(Kevin, April 5, 2003, http://calstuff.blogspot.com/2003/04/new-planet-has-pledged-bias.html)
Made-up citation: "Circle-jerkesque behavior isn't just for jerks: fuckwits, cronies, dim bulbs, buttmunches, moonbats, cheese dongs, and doofi have all been observed partaking in circle-jerkitude by smart local scientists."
triangle-age
noun. Love triangles--the most annoying day of geometry class ever.
Real citation: "To be honest, the only good things about this episode was the ending, Bailey, and the lack of triangle-age. Maybe I was just expecting too much from a post-super bowl ep, but it was not even close to one of the best that this show has done."
(EvilSpawn, "2-17: "It's The End Of The World" 2006.02.05," Feb. 5, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3135330&view=findpost&p=4467046)
Made-up citation: "Evidence would suggest that TV writers get their checks doubled every time they add triangle-age to a show. Maybe if somebody clubbed these hacks with a shovel instead, they'd feel a little differently about foisting this crap on us all."
Real citation: "To be honest, the only good things about this episode was the ending, Bailey, and the lack of triangle-age. Maybe I was just expecting too much from a post-super bowl ep, but it was not even close to one of the best that this show has done."
(EvilSpawn, "2-17: "It's The End Of The World" 2006.02.05," Feb. 5, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3135330&view=findpost&p=4467046)
Made-up citation: "Evidence would suggest that TV writers get their checks doubled every time they add triangle-age to a show. Maybe if somebody clubbed these hacks with a shovel instead, they'd feel a little differently about foisting this crap on us all."
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
archskank
noun. A skank of high rank.
Related terms: archangel, archbishop, archdeacon, archpriest.
Real citation: "To Kerr! ArchSkank of the UK"
(http://beautybash.net/messageboard/archive/index85.html)
Made-up citation: "Even a mega-ho or slutbomb can't compare to an archskank, according to the Pope."
Related terms: archangel, archbishop, archdeacon, archpriest.
Real citation: "To Kerr! ArchSkank of the UK"
(http://beautybash.net/messageboard/archive/index85.html)
Made-up citation: "Even a mega-ho or slutbomb can't compare to an archskank, according to the Pope."
cakewalky
adj. Easy as walking on cake, baby--though taken literally, cakewalking may present problems.
Real citation: "Routine operations, in the sense of we can do this many times over, need to be somewhat cakewalky. Its one thing to hang it all over the edge during test phase, its another thing to ask that every operational flight do that."
(Andre Lieven, Jan. 10, 2004, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv.the-west-wing/msg/b89c3f81cad41183?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "Ever try to pee while doing a handstand, just to mark a little arboreal territory? Probably not, but it's cakewalky stuff to a panda."
Real citation: "Routine operations, in the sense of we can do this many times over, need to be somewhat cakewalky. Its one thing to hang it all over the edge during test phase, its another thing to ask that every operational flight do that."
(Andre Lieven, Jan. 10, 2004, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv.the-west-wing/msg/b89c3f81cad41183?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "Ever try to pee while doing a handstand, just to mark a little arboreal territory? Probably not, but it's cakewalky stuff to a panda."
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
va-jay-jay specialist
noun. An expert on all things vaginaltruous.
Real citation: "GA happy new years! umm i need you to check my va jay jay to see if it's time for a wax--- your my va jay jay specialist!"
(Jan 1, 2006, http://www.myspace.com/yourheroine)
Made-up citation: "A gynecologist who calls himself a va-jay-jay specialist or groinocologist may not be trustworthy or recommended by doctors."
Real citation: "GA happy new years! umm i need you to check my va jay jay to see if it's time for a wax--- your my va jay jay specialist!"
(Jan 1, 2006, http://www.myspace.com/yourheroine)
Made-up citation: "A gynecologist who calls himself a va-jay-jay specialist or groinocologist may not be trustworthy or recommended by doctors."
badasslessness
noun. Look deep into the soul or pants of a non-badass, and this ye shall find.
Related terms: asslessness, White Male Asslessness, chapped asslessness, congenital asslessness.
Real citation: “The agents, although cool-looking, had a lot of badasslessness.”
(Nerje, April 6, 2001, http://forums.thelastfreecity.com/viewtopic.php?t=149)
Made-up citation: "With a lisp, 'badasslessness' is easy to have yet hard to say."
Related terms: asslessness, White Male Asslessness, chapped asslessness, congenital asslessness.
Real citation: “The agents, although cool-looking, had a lot of badasslessness.”
(Nerje, April 6, 2001, http://forums.thelastfreecity.com/viewtopic.php?t=149)
Made-up citation: "With a lisp, 'badasslessness' is easy to have yet hard to say."
Monday, February 13, 2006
clusterfrack
noun. A frackin' clusterfuck-type sitch.
Related terms: clusterboink, clusterfornicate, clusterfreak, clusterfrell, clusterfrick, clusterfrig, clusterfug, clusterhump, clusterplook, clusterpork, clusterschmuck, clustersmurf.
Real citation: "What a clusterfrack that was, too."
(Skinny Dipper, April 2, 2004, http://www.lake-cumberland.com/forum/post.php?action=reply&fid=8&tid=2928&repquote=25577)
Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his clusterfrack has no place in our hearts.'"
Related terms: clusterboink, clusterfornicate, clusterfreak, clusterfrell, clusterfrick, clusterfrig, clusterfug, clusterhump, clusterplook, clusterpork, clusterschmuck, clustersmurf.
Real citation: "What a clusterfrack that was, too."
(Skinny Dipper, April 2, 2004, http://www.lake-cumberland.com/forum/post.php?action=reply&fid=8&tid=2928&repquote=25577)
Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his clusterfrack has no place in our hearts.'"
teenageracide
noun. Teen pregnancy, teen violence, and teen sarcasm got you down? There is a solution.
Real citation: "Let me first state that I am not in favor of murder, no matter what. I don't believe in the death penalty, and even though they annoy the crap out of me, I'd never advocate teenageracide. But anyone who's ever been through a horrible breakup can kind of maybe understand, just a little teensy bit, this poor schmoe's motivation."
(Judy McGuire, "A Man Scorned," Feb. 7, 2006, Bad Advice, badadvice.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/02/a_man_scorned_.html)
Made-up citation: "To perform a teenageracide, cut teenager in large cubes and place in one layer on a plate or in a shallow dish. Drizzle with lemon juice and olive oil then sprinkle with salt and pepper. Refrigerate for one hour. Meanwhile, cut vegetables alternating each ingredient. When coals are glowing...oh wait, those are instructions for a buffalo shishkebab. Sorry, parents! My bad."
Real citation: "Let me first state that I am not in favor of murder, no matter what. I don't believe in the death penalty, and even though they annoy the crap out of me, I'd never advocate teenageracide. But anyone who's ever been through a horrible breakup can kind of maybe understand, just a little teensy bit, this poor schmoe's motivation."
(Judy McGuire, "A Man Scorned," Feb. 7, 2006, Bad Advice, badadvice.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/02/a_man_scorned_.html)
Made-up citation: "To perform a teenageracide, cut teenager in large cubes and place in one layer on a plate or in a shallow dish. Drizzle with lemon juice and olive oil then sprinkle with salt and pepper. Refrigerate for one hour. Meanwhile, cut vegetables alternating each ingredient. When coals are glowing...oh wait, those are instructions for a buffalo shishkebab. Sorry, parents! My bad."
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