necro-whatsit

noun. The Necronomicon, that classic source of marauding, unholy evil and spring fashion tips.

Real citation: "How would you respond if someone made you a similar offer? Would you be willing to sincerely invite Allah to have coffee with you while you read the Koran? Or the Mormon god while you read the book of Mormon? Or Satan while you read the necro-whatsit?"
(Jan 21, 2007, Freethought and Rationalism Discussion Board, http://www.freeratio.org/showthread.php?t=193234&page=4)

Made-up citation: "Honey, could you hand me my necro-whatsit? I think I left it in the baby's crib. Um, he's not old enough to read it aloud in a hushed voice, is he? NOOOOOOOOOOO! This was a bad week to stop hoarding holy water and suitcase nukes."

Top Gun-itis

noun. A specific condition that I can respect. I still haven't gotten over One Hour Photo-itis myself.

Real citation: "My Top Gun-itis - I don’t even like “Top Gun” that much, but no matter what, whenever it is on, I watch it. Why? What makes me do this? You know that the part where Val Kilmer bites the air in front of Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell’s face…what is that!?"
(Feb. 2, 2009, Kevin H. MacLean, Primer, http://www.primermagazine.com/2009/live/22-things-viagra-still-hasnt-cured)

Made-up citation: "I don't know what to tell you about Top Gun-itis, but if you have post-traumatic Tom Cruise disorder, Tropic Thunder is the cure. He had me at 'hobo's dick cheese'."

un-CNBC-like

adj. Similar to "unladylike," but the lovely lady was replaced with a moronic financial news network. (No offense intended to Erin Burnett, my new girlfriend in my brain).

Real citation: "By now, I have noticed that I speak a different language than the people on this channel. Or maybe I'm just not as smart as they are. 'I've decided that flat is the new up,' declares one talking head. 'If they can't get their heads together, there's no way we're going to get meat on the bone,' warns another. Their braying seems to mean something to their target audience, but not to me. Even most-esteemed sage Warren Buffett wasn't immune. He spoke in an un-CNBC-like volume, but said things like, 'It's a lot better to have a goose that keeps laying eggs than a goose that just sits there and eats insurance.' Now, that is easy to understand, and probably true. Plus, can you imagine how gross that pâté would taste?"
(March 11, 2009, Gabriel Winant, Salon, http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2009/03/11/cnbc/)

Made-up citation: "My dog is very un-CNBC-like. He rarely barks, and his financial advice is consistently sound. Also, he is content to poop without throwing the poop at hapless bystanders."

catastrophic boob tape failure

noun phrase. A hazard of being a model or dentist. Oh, you didn't know dentists used boob tape? Well, sometimes you run out of floss...

Real citation: "Mr. President, I travel with a LeCroix shopping bag full of Blackberries and cell phones for the express purpose of beaning cheeky ass-hats between the eyes. Let's get back to the interview. Imagine for a moment you're being wedged into a Vivian Westwood hobble skirt and just before it's your turn to slink down the runway you experience catastrophic boob tape failure."
(Jan. 7, 2008, Can O' Whup-Ass, http://canofwhupass.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/01/campbell-chats.html)

Made-up citation: "I will support any charity dedicated to wiping out catastrophic boob tape failure. Any ol' humanitarian can oppose AIDS and cancer, but it takes a special humanitarian to reach out to cleavage and give that cleavage some fresh, powerful, double-sided tape."

women's-magazine-y

adj. How-to-please-your-man-and-remove-stubborn-stains-and-lose-10-pounds-and-bake-a-pie-ish.

Real citation: "Go buy yourself something pretty, wrap it up, and put it under the tree/menorah. Yes, that sounds really lame and women's-magazine-y, but so what? At least it'll fit, and it won't be crafted from manmade fibers."
(Judy McGuire, Nov. 26, 2008, Seattle Weekly, http://www.seattleweekly.com/2008-11-26/diversions/thank-you/)

Made-up citation: "I wish I could think of some women's-magazine-y topics to write about, but I'm stumped. Do you think Cosmo would take a piece on organ harvesting, and like, how it can tone your abs?"

Nostradamus-esque-ish

adj. Prophesy-tastic.

Real citation: "Get all Nostradamus-esque-ish by exercising your powers of Portland prognostication"
(Dec. 18, 2008, Silicon Florist, http://siliconflorist.com/2008/12/18/get-all-nostradamus-esque-ish-by-exercising-your-powers-of-portland-prognostication/)

Made-up citation: "Would it be too Nostradamus-esque-ish of me if I said there will be a great catastrophe on a golden river in a doomed land where squirrels chase dogs and bananas eat monkeys? Or will you just give me the $3.50 right now?"

spokes-dumbass

noun. He/she is talking, but there is no brain! Someone replaced the delicious membranes with delicious apple sauce.

Real citation: "Or is she the spokes-dumbass for the horrifyingly ignorant? As her ridiculous positions and her trollish behavior both qualify."
(Sept. 19, 2008, We Beg to Differ, http://www.webegtodiffer.com/showthread.php?t=45767&page=5)

Made-up citation: "I think I would be a terrific spokes-dumbass, 'cause I talk real good. I'd also make a fine Pope. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always felt a little papal, even when organ harvesting."

hairocaust

noun. All the barbers in Belfast might not be enough to make this one OK.

Real citation: "Hair-ocaust!
Who's up for another food thing sometime this month / hair making / sewing party?"
(Sept. 10, 2008, Livejournal, http://neonfushiastarr.livejournal.com/8330.html)

Made-up citation: "What can stave off a hairocaust? Gel, holy water, scrunchies, flamethrowers? Why did I major in aeronautical science instead of hairology? I didn't think ahead."

genocidal much-better-now-thankiacs

noun phrase. Decent folks--good country people!--who don't wipe out humanity anymore. They wouldn't think of it.

Real citation: "But without the offer Adama would never have considered allowing the genocidal maniacs, sorry, genocidal much-better-now-thankiacs, to join the fleet in the first palce. Tag along, sure, the baseship is no match for the Galactica, but it isn't like the technology offer was created to make it more reasonable for him to think of accepting them fully IMO, as he was never planning to offer them acceptance, it isn't like he was contemplating it and the Cylons agreed to the technology gift in return. The acceptance was part of their terms, not his desire. For all we know he may hate the idea but thinks the benefits are too good to pass up."
(Jan. 25, 2009, "4-12: "A Disquiet Follows My Soul" 2009.01.23," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3181356&view=findpost&p=11285730)

Made-up citation: "My door is welcome to all genocidal much-better-now-thankiacs. We've all made mistakes. Personally, I ate 409 leprechauns during a rough year in the eighties, but who's counting?"

evil-gasmic

adj. Just how I feel after eating a planet or nuking a kitten factory.

Real citation: "Evil-gasmic."
(Jan. 15, 2007, Myth Drannor, http://mythdrannor.11.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=2459&start=15&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=&sid=8fefb59ab51b02762d3a5fc35fd3ce61)

Made-up citation: "I wish I had more evil-gasmic joys in my life... I knew this was a bad year to give up supervillainy and orphan-selling."

light-as-a-feather-itude

noun. A quality I possess once a day, after taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

Real citation: "Little Person
You've gone through life being called all manner of diminutive names, but by this point you've learned to ignore it. In fact, it's become a bit of a tradition for those around you to try to get a rise out of you. You've learned an eclectic set of skills in your strange life, although of course you have sometimes been limited by your light-as-a-feather-itude."
(Blah Blah Online, http://www.blahblahonline.com/register.php)

Made-up citation: "To be successful, every ballerina must have grace, agility, light-as-a-feather-itude, and a father in the mob. Little known fact."

paleo-critter

noun. Such a non-youthful lifeform, like a loving grandpa or Biblical snake demon.

Real citation: "as for the criss-cross features, are those paleo-critter tracks? if so then it probalby means that we are looking at the bottom of a layer."
(Sept. 1, 2008, Looking for Detachment, http://highway8a.blogspot.com/2008/07/friday-field-photos-wheeler-peak.html)

Made-up citation: "A paleo-critter ate my kitten! I guess the old always destroy the young, like that time Bob Barker tried to devour Hannah Montana organs-first."

goofulating

verb. Conduct unbecoming a pillar of the community. There could even be a comportment issue.

Real citation: "But he wasn’t Muslim himself, and he certainly wasn’t “put up to this” like a Manchurian candidate. That’s just getting too much into the realm of X-files goofulating."
(April 23, 2007, Jakob Walter Uhlen, The Anthropik Network, http://anthropik.com/2007/04/ax-ishmael/)

Made-up citation: "I don't regret the years I spent goofulating. I regret the years I spent, as my friend Brian puts it, 'oscillating like a broken grandfather clock'. Because that is tough on the old melon."

dweebularity

noun. An essential component of dweebs, along with Lisa Simpson's discovery, the chemical Poindextrose.

Real citation: "Waldron should patent himself as a perpetual motion machine, for behold: he attracts infinite amounts of energy regardless of what amoebic pertinence his posts are made of. Soon enough the end of the world will come, for as Ghistradamus prophesized, the end is nigh, indeed!: the amount of sound advice poured into Waldron's pinsized head will exceed its schwarzchild radius and implode itself in a spacetime dweebularity like the house in Poltergeist."
(June 24, 2008, Aces High II Bulletin Board, http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/index.php?topic=239303.30)

Made-up citation: "Does it give away my dweebularity if I admit to spending the afternoon of my birthday with cupcakes and a comic book? I'm finally seeing what this Watchmen monkey-doodle is all about. I like the blue dude who killed Vietnam. By my next birthday, I'd like to be a blue dude like that. I think I'll destroy Florida."

collapse-alypse

noun. An unhealthy turn of events for an economy or lung.

Real citation: "Financial Collapse-alypse

I've been following the podcasts out of www.financialsense.com
for some time. I'm pretty sure Jim Puplava called everything that's going on (subprime, housing bubble, stimulus package) years ago. He's big on precious metals which I'm not sure about, but his other advice makes sense (water, oil, commodities.)"
(Jan. 29, 2009, Robot Lounge, http://www.giantrobot.com/forums/showthread.php?t=39588)

Made-up citation: "Among mole men, a cave-in is more commonly known as a collapse-alypse. Mole-man culture is fascinating, from the delicious orphan pies to the festive spring dances with the pig-men."

un-flipping-flapping-real

adj. Groo-flipping-flopping-vy.

Real citation: "ahaha that is un flipping flapping real! those kids got talent. im actually so happy that u shared that with me.
the start- love a birra asian
the middle- new chris brown in the making
the end- heartfelt as you dont want it to be over"
(Clare Pender, http://de.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=72273068)

Made-up citation: "You know what I find un-flipping-flapping-real? Women who have six visible straps. It's a mathematical puzzle. Some straps I understand: two go down to the bra, two come up from the shirt. What are the other two straps connected to? Ovary harness? It seems awkward to ask."

confuzzle-osity

noun. Huh?

Real citation: "My Confuzzle-osity..."
(Oct. 25, 2008, My Wonderful World of Wicketty-Wack, http://wickettywack.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-confuzzle-osity.html)

Made-up citation: "There is much confuzzle-osity in the journey of the cosmos. Hmm. That could be the concussion talking."

supervillainistic

adj. Mwah-hah-hah-y.

Real citation: "Wanted is basically a juvenile superheroic (supervillainistic?) power fantasy for teens and 20-something hooked on comics, action movies and GTA games. Women are best advised to avoid this as the testosterone fueling the comic is in overdrive."
(Nov. 18, 2008, Being Centered, http://lyehuat1973.blogspot.com/2008/11/wanted.html)

Made-up citation: "It wasn't easy being the most supervillainistic kid in school... Everyone else is playing video games, while I'm trying to sterilize the human race or tie a damsel to the tracks. Do you know how hard it is for a kid to get his hands on a good damsel? I just hope my children will have all the damsels they need (and that Amtrak maintains a regular schedule)."

pre-unholy-trinity

adj. Such a simpler time, before non-holy trios roamed the plains.

Real citation: "therefore no clue how the day was spent. although i think that Alicen and Kerry and i hashed out our plans for going to Firenze on saturday. i felt like i was just tagging along...crazy pre-unholy-trinity times."
(Feb. 9, 2007, Il Centro, un'anno fa, http://un-anno-fa.blogspot.com/2007/02/day-27-another.html)

Made-up citation: "Everything changed in my family, pre-unholy-trinity and post-unholy-trinity. Even the dog poo now has seven heads, but it doesn't smell, which is interesting,"

FWBs (followers with benefits)

noun phrase. Hmm. I may have to rethink my atheism. Anyone need a Pope?

Real citation: "I thought this show was a clever commentary on looking at the darkest, and brightest, parts of ourselves. A look at our future and our past. All this has happened before. In my head I always finished with and could happen again if we don't figure out how to stop it. But all this talk of angels and gods and visions is like spiritual technobabble but without the really useful requirements of science or logic or collective observation or even, say, a plan. I find it particularly telling the greatest scientific mind of the colonies is merely a fake religious zealot who says pretty words and has his own visions but doesn't use that amazing scientific brain to use science to help people or even to get more FWBs (followers with benefits). For me, a great show should have an organic ending. It doesn't have to be predictable, just logical. A science fiction show should use science once in a while. And a show that promises to be a mirror should actually reflect us."
(Feb. 28, 2009, "4-17: "Someone To Watch Over Me" 2009.02.27," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3182678&view=findpost&p=11424551)

Made-up citation: "Join my new religion! It's based on a steady diet of pancakes, grain alcohol, organ harvesting, inner peace, and followers with benefits. So when can I stop paying taxes?"