quasi-crackpotitude

noun. The questionable quality that semi-nuttily lurks in the sorta-batshitty heart of a pseudo-whacko.

Real citation: “Ah! It's a very technique-driven game you play, then! One must walk the thin line of almost maybe quasi-crackpotitude carefully...”
(July 19, 2007, nerdnyc, http://www.nerdnyc.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=30229&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=10&sid=7e80e314da25da1468dd5b4606c77315)

Made-up citation: "I like people to think I'm a burbling, carbonated cauldron of pain and quasi-crackpotitude. It improves their opinion of my writing."

thankchristfully

noun. A Christier version of "thankgodfully."

Real citation: “I'm le bored (although, thankchristfully, school is over. I just have to finish all my extensioned stuff). have a barrage of junk.”
(Kaitlin Redmond, May 3, 2006, http://lone-gunfreak.livejournal.com/tag/glenn)

Made-up citation: "Thankchristfully, I live in a neighborhood where I can drink bubble tea, ogle half-naked women, and compose these immortal contributions to lexicography. Jesus loves my sweet ass."

henchnoncorporeal being

noun. An ectoplasmgasmic underling. May or may not be union.

Related terms: henchboobs, henchchicken, henchdork, henchdoofus, henchgoon, henchho, henchmoron.

Real citation: “[Pearl and her henchmen, er, henchape and henchnoncorporeal being, stand in the foreground, looking very, very annoyed.]”
(May 2, 2002, http://home.netcom.com/~mblackwl/spidey.txt)

Made-up citation: "My dead uncle's henchnoncorporeal beings are with me for every shower, every walk to the store, every forkful of food. My life is a nerve-shredding, never-ending, nun-wetting trip to terrortown. Damn you, Uncle Moe!"

Jailbaitistan

noun. A dangerous land, where no one grows up, and the lip gloss and chipmunks frolic in the meadow.

Real citation: “19....you wish she was...she comes from jailbaitistan”
(April 2, 2005, http://forums.ratedesi.com/archive/index.php/t-64100.html)

Made-up citation: "I was surprised that teacher went to Jailbaitistan on Rescue Me. From the look on Tommy's semi-concerned-godfather face, it won't be long before he plans an itinerary of his own to Hot-teacher-stan."

bonerheaded

adj. Boneheaded in a particularly throbulent, male-memberish way.

Real citation: “There are times I think marriage is nothing but legalized prostitution. I said before that I have nothing against marriage per se but I warn any and all poor foggy-eyed love-struck bonerheaded schnooks ready to get married to beware of some of the pityfalls. (Not a typo.)”
(March 31, 2002, http://p197.ezboard.com/ffreedomofspeechfrm7.showMessageRange?topicID=166.topic&start=21&stop=40)

Made-up citation: My new book--Boys Are Bonerheaded; Girls Are Goober-flavored--explores gender, America, stereotypes, and boners."

Bill Clintony

adj. Presidential, southern, blow-job-able.

Real citation: “Speaking of “Rudebox,” here’s the title track, which has it all as far as various danceabilities are concerned. It’s got some hip electronic blips. It’s got Williams quasi-rapping in that conversational, snarky (and strangely Bill Clintony) tone.”
(Oct. 19, 2006, girlpants, http://www.girlpants.org/?m=200610)

Made-up citation: "My wife revels in Bill Clintony bunnycapades; I remain devoted to bootleg exorcisms. The children? Boogerbuttheads, one and all."

non-crapularity

noun. The essence of a non-suckitudinous person, place, or thingy.

Real citation: “For those scoring at home: Victoria still has the shitty entrance theme, but did NOT dance for us in seizure-like fashion, so we're half-way back to non-crapularity.“
(Rick Scaia, June 13, 2004, Online Onslaught, http://www.onlineonslaught.com/recaps/ppv/20040613.shtml)

Made-up citation: "Well, I have at least one reader who insists my manuscript is brimming with non-crapularity. On that note, fetch me a pie."

bacongasm

noun. A part of the porkgasm family that's preferable to the pig's-ear-gasm.

Real citation: “My boyfriend Ryan does the same thing. We once found a pack of 10lb bacon and I thought he was going to have a bacongasm in the store. I had to convince him that there was no way we could eat all that before it went bad and console him with a smaller pack.”
(Feb. 16, 2007, Lois & Clark Fanfic, http://www.lcficmbs.com/cgi-bin/boards/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=007043;p=)

Made-up citation: "The prospect of a bacongasm is a beacon of hope for the millions of Americans suffering from post-traumatic red wine disorder."

boobological region

noun. Sweet merciful boobamaphones.

Related terms: chesticular region, boobular area.

Real citation: “Everyone likes to feel sexy after all, and what could possibly be more flattering or dignified for an actress than having the phrase 'ALWAYS OPEN' plastered above your digitally enhanced boobological region. I'd advise Rosario to reprise this gimmick in ads for any future roles; perhaps a version with a suggestively placed flute, in case she's doing any Shakespeare in the Park anytime soon.”
(July 26, 2006, The Bicameral Mind, http://thebicameralmind.blogspot.com/2006/07/how-did-patton-beat-rommel-he-read-his.html)

Made-up citation: "In the post-Janet-Jackson's-breast era, it warms my cocoa to know that the FCC keeps men, women, children, and all woodland creatures safe from unwanted sojourns to the boobological region, which can be so bleak and traumatizing."

envirodouche

noun. 1) A still-in-development product that cleanses the land, sea, and air of all impurities and gunk. 2) An ecosexual.

Real citation: “Hey envirodouche..... you have been parked in front of this comp all day long posting.”
(Nov. 29, 2005, Bill Maher Forums, http://boards.billmaher.com/showthread.php?t=37787&page=136)

Made-up citation: "Maybe the Great Flood was just the Good Lord's way of giving the earth an envirodouche after things got ishy."

ice-becrotched

adj. You've heard of fire in the loins? This is something different.

Real citation: “Fuck exams in their asss, the lady at the McDonalds is a big fridgid bitch-hole. She called me rude!! that stupid nut sucking whore!@#$#*&(# ^&^$&#^ my shoulder just went ckerpshtnt. I luv mibb. we have fun, damn the the ice-becrotched lady!!!! she pisses me right the fuck off! Never ask for a SOFT drink , just come out and say "Give me a stiffy bitch!" Lori is kind of sort of right now, so please seexxxxxxxxxxxxcuse her. The frrriigiidareeeeeeee bitch suckkkkkkkkkkkkks”
(Jan. 12, 2007, http://www.xanga.com/meowmeowkittyy)

Made-up citation: "Friends, it is one of the most ball-sweat-soaked days of the year, and I would welcome that refreshing ice-becrotched feeling that seems so far away, like a melody from my youth."

hypotetheticonfessional

adj. If I hear one more play on that O.J. title, here's how you can kill me now.

Real citation: “O.J. Simpson said this week that his hypotetheticonfessional book "If I Did It" was ghostwritten, and that the hypothetical ghostwriter did a theoretically lousy job on the chapter in which Simpson hypothetically described the night he killed his wife and her friend. Hypothetically.”
(King Kaufmann, Aug. 3, 2007, Salon, http://www.salon.com/sports/col/kaufman/2007/08/03/friday/)

Made-up citation: "Hypotetheticonfessionally speaking, how would you feel if my dog just peed in your cornflakes?"

Jesuscest

noun. When two Jesi lock eyes, get off their crosses, and put on a little Perry White. Or Barry White, whatever.

Real citation: “Jesuscest?”
(Aug. 3, 2007, http://winhall.livejournal.com/data/atom)

Made-up citation: "Jesuscest: One of several concepts that would have upped the amusement factor and psychological toll of eight years of Catholic school."

cheeseburgerette

noun. A cheeseburger with cheesecake-y wiles.

Real citation: “Hi hamburger How is the misses? May i call her cheeseburgerette?”
(Sept. 7, 2005, http://www.able2know.com/forums/search.php?search_author=turtlette)

Made-up citation: "The drippy, naughty, FDAlicious love between a cheeseburgerette and a he-potato is something Rachel Ray is far better qualified to describe."

celebucaust

noun. A mass recall of celebubots.

Related terms: celebutard, celebuturd, celebudude, celebucon, celebudork, celebudrunk.

Real citation: "Sure, it's bad but someday: Celebucaust."
(June 26, 2007, Gawker, http://gawker.com/news/gossip-roundup/britney-spears-is-sagging-badly-272263.php)

Made-up citation: "Today will be partly cloudy, chance of celebucaust, high 81. It's going to be a tough one for allergy sufferers."

super-hoove-y

adj. Cloven hooves, anyone?

Real citation: “I got the 'tall' ones because I wanted to tuck my new skinny jeans into them. On the recommendation of the lovely Rashida Jones, I also got my Uggs in black, not the typical tan or sand colors, which are super hoove-y.”
(Mindy Ephron, Oct. 31, 2006, Things I’ve Bought That I Love, http://mindyephron.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "When the evil one comes, in all his Anti-Christitude, thou shalt quake in bed-shitting terror at his eight-headed, ectoplasm-spewing, super-hoove-y bod."

fuckheadicide

noun. A fuckhead has perished! No one has written any tragic poems yet, but here’s hoping.

Real citation: “Suicide vs Homicide vs Fuckheadicide"
(Sept. 20, 2002, Poe News, http://www.poe-news.com/forums/sp.php?pi=1000433858)

Made-up citation: "The Bible says nothing of the moral ramifications of fuckheadicide, but I can fill in the blanks with my prayer seminar. Also, we can be as one, for a small fee."

whackopath

noun. I believe the technical term is "cuckooburger with a side of batshit."

Related term: nutsopath.

Real citation: “I would venture a guess your friends view you are a dangerous whackopath.”
(March 31, 2007, thisisby.us, http://thisisby.us/index.php/content/for_guys_mostly)

Made-up citation: "My friend has a very Seinfeldian dating story about a guy who ate everything--even steak--with a spoon. Quirky doofus or ex-con whackopath? Only his case manager knows for sure."

shaving-cream penis enema

noun. Do I have to explain everything to you people?

Real citation: “No, CD, I haven't heard of shaving-cream penis enemas before. But then I've always been lucky in love.”
(Dan Savage, July 26, 2007, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=272569)

Made-up citation: "According to my frat brothers, a shaving-cream penis enema every morning for a fortnight will cure any VD. This is why all my brothers are dead, and I'm writing you from this lonely prison cell, my sweet, sweet Annabelle Lee."

Anti-Christitude

noun. A quality possessed by the Dark Prince, who is one Bad Feller, though somewhat different from his Satanic Majesty, blah blah armageddon-cakes.

Real citation: “The Left Behind franchise is a series of books and movies that take place immediately after the rapture. The rapture, for you heathens that will be burning in hell, is the event near the End of Times when the faithful are instantaneously zapped up to heaven by the Gentle Hand of God. The unclean faithless, i.e. those "left behind," are then treated to vast quantities of war, chaos, and Anti-Christitude, usually portrayed to look something like the picture here.”(Dan. G, “I Want To Be Left Behind,” May 5, 2005, Bald & Effective, http://baldandeffective.com/2005/05/i-want-to-be-left-behind.html)

Made-up citation: "When I'm in the mood for Anti-Christitude, I take quaaludes with nude prudes. Women say I'm shrewd."