phlegmliness

noun. Is next to I'm-going-to-hack-up-a-lungliness.

Real citation: "I wish there was some magic no phlegm pill I could take and make it go away. Until then, I'll just have to bask in my phlegmliness until I can bask in it no more. Gross."
(Oct. 19, 2006, The Messersmiths, http://themessersmiths.blogspot.com/2006/10/gross.html)

Made-up citation: "Romances have ended, and wars have started, and even the gods have shuddered over acute cases of phlegmliness. Don't believe me? That's probably for the best."

abraca-oops

interjection. 1) Magic schmagic. 2) Magic tragic.

Real citation: "Abraca-Oops!"
(Tom Knapp, May 1992, http://www.rambles.net/abraca_oops.html)

Made-up citation: "Arrested Development's Gob Bluth was the master of the abraca-oops, the abraca-ouch, the abraca-doh, and the hocus-sweet-Jesus-what-have-I-done!"

chemo-psycho-nano-tech

adj. Dude. I just work here. Nano-psycho-loco-turbo-stuffo is down the hall.

Real citation: "They are immensley intelligent creatures from another planet who have come to earth to study us. You obviously were the focus of such a study group. Be thankful that you got away without being splattered by their organic chemo-psycho-nano-tech surface-covering moist surveillance droppings."
(Michael Platt, Jan. 4, 2007, http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976855542&nav=Namespace)

Made-up citation: "Don't look for a chemo-psycho-nano-tech solution to a personal problem. Unless, pray tell, your problem is chemo-psycho-nano-chafing in your own personal crotch--then, I think we can help."

non-doomtastic

adj. Happy, sunny, springy, cheery, bouncy, minty, giddy, and non-apocalypse-licking.

Real citation: "I love that this is a story laced with crack, yet the kind you could almost see CLAMP thinking would be an AWESOME thing to include in canon because Subaru and Seishirou (and Hokuto!) totally used to do stuff exactly like this. Well, not exactly. But it's happy X!SxS fic that's totally perfect and brilliant and non-doomtastic. This should always be cherished."
(http://fleetingfancies.nokoru.net/x-tokyo-babylon-seishirouxsubaru-4.html)

Made-up citation: "I never could cultivate a non-doomtastic outlook. I still see a leper in every leprechaun, and a chamber pot in every pot of gold. But to answer your question, officer, it wasn't me that went wee-wee in the no-no."

mommatruckin'

adj. We brought a dump truck of money, but Samuel L. Jackson still won’t say this word, and he stopped taking calls from our agency. In related news, the ghost of Richard Pryor appears displeased.

Real citation: “And I made up a few new words of my own, too. ('This mommatruckin' mini-blind is a mommatruck!') Not the same, but it felt pretty good.”
(July 28, 2008, Emma Downs, The Journal Gazette, http://www.journalgazette.net/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080728/FEAT/807280360)

Made-up citation: “We’re worried about Joey Jr., ma’am. His language is peppered with words such as ‘mommatruckin’ and ‘ape-poopy,’ and for the pre-k talent show, he consecrated a mystical sword, which he then used to impale the art teacher, who did have it coming, but still… Age inappropriate!”

dog-mentum

noun. A doggedness possessed by only the most batshit-propelled pooches--the kind who, as we speak, are chewing your slippers and contemplating your best Sunday dress as an appetizer.

Related term: God-mentum.

Real citation: "because of this (and his completely obnoxious pent up energy), i have started letting him out earlier on the weekends, in hopes to give him a bit more time to get rid of that which could power the entire globe for the next 30 million years, sufficiently ending the energy crisis. that which i call his dog-mentum, the insane amount of pure unfiltered energy. that which makes me wish there were more things on him to get neutered off, because ISN'T THAT SUPPOSED TO SOLVE THIS RIDICULOUSNESS?"
(Jennifer Caitlin, July 28, 2008, http://jennifercaitlin.blogspot.com/2008/07/mothers-love-stretched-thin.html)

Made-up citation: "I know something about dog-mentum: My rat terrier is the fastest dog in the park, and his nickname is Crack Baby. He burns with the energy of a thousand nuns, like the kids say. If we could wire him up and tap his bottomless reserves, the price of gas would plummet, nuclear fusion would be unnecessary, and we'd both take more naps."

multi-crapola

noun. Why settle for a single serving of crapola? Fill your pie-hole and life-hole to the brim.

Real citation: “it sounded good. last entry. i was going to do this and finish that. no more multi-tasking, just getting things done one at a time.
i tried. really. and it wasn't because i fell back into the multi-crapola. more like the best laid plans..."
(April 26, 2007, Pedro’s Travel Guide, http://swimmmer72.diaryland.com/070426_83.html)

Made-up citation: “Don’t try to rid your life of multi-crapola all in one flush. A clusterflush may only add to the poosaster, and flushing is so last year. Nuke one turd at a time, and you’ll have peace of mind.”

chickensploitation

noun. Exploitation was never so cowardly and delicious.

Real citation: “Exclusive Chicken Scouts Entertaiment Update: Even the hallowed halls of Cartoon Network are tainted by chickensploitation.”
(http://www.renegadechickens.com/chickens/chickenscouts/scouts.htm)

Made-up citation: “As a collegiate chicken-finger-eating champion and longtime consumer of Fredonia’s dreaded Chernobyl chicken wings, I may be a casualty of the chickensploitation industry and not even realize it. Is there someone I can sue?”

diligent-ish-y

adj. This word doesn’t quite describe a virtue, but wants to, if it can be done from the couch.

Real citation: “Basically, right now I'm alternating posting chapters of The Autumn of Our Virility, Leave of Vengeance, and Outclassed. So yes, things are being worked on. Diligent-ish-y. And yes, my chapters are short.”
(http://www.fanfiction.net/~winterofourdiscontent)

Made-up citation: “My work habits are diligent-ish-y, and my maturity level is sub-sewer level, sources say. Maybe it’s because I was stolen by gypsies as a baby, who gave me to wolves to raise in a barn. I also think God, Oprah, and DNA had something to do with it; an investigation is ongoing."

bejackassed

adj. Like beJuicyFruited, but far less nummy.

Real citation: "Then, later, during one of my terrible insomnias, I realised doing a miscarriage pun in the first place was totally bejackassed and jerk-like."
(http://rateyourmusic.com/list/nigh/dustbin_of_doom/)

Made-up citation: "The Oxford English Dictionary has examples of be-belzebubbed, be-blacksmithed, be-Frenchman'd, be-trash'd, and be-Legion-of-Honoured. Until bejackassed makes the cut, I'll keep it safe here, under my pillow, where even Count Chocula can't see it."

trouserwad

noun. A unit of measurement roughly equivalent to a metric pantsload. Also, in certain dialects and solar systems, this may be fightin' words.

Real citation: "...there's no reason to suppose that he hasn't returned and fallen in love with the bright colours and warm people this time around? Even if he hasn't, and is only returning for a trouserwad of cash, we can't deny him his right to do so. We may not like Gary Kirsten, and Gary Kirsten may not like us."
(Nov. 29, 2007, Treason, Stratagems, and Spoils, http://angrynun.blogspot.com/2007/11/gary-baboo.html)

Made-up citation: "After asking her students to solve all word problems in terms of trouserwads and milfometers, the young teacher was arrested."

psycho-robo-rambo

adj. A word seldom used to describe Gandhi, even on a bad day.

Real citation: "Morning of the battle, there's the morale speech, then, when the armies lock eyes, MMS's character comes out of nowhere, nukes the army, and goes all psycho-robo-rambo."
(June 13, 2008, GameSpot Forums, http://www.gamespot.com/cdi/action/escapefromcybercity/show_msgs.php?topic_id=m-1-43645518&pid=581277)

Made-up citation: "When my blood sugar is low, I have three modes: 1) psycho-robo-rambo, 2) smasho-crasho, and 3) creepo-weepo. None are pretty, but all are pretty fun to say."

poopy-ploppy-poo

noun. A little more than poo. A little less than pooageddon.

Real citation: "Poopy ploppy poo :D"
(May 29, 2008, Princess Sabrina Just Memories, http://www.sabrina.sg/2007/01/29/i-hate-my-mum)

Made-up citation: "She said, 'I love you.' I said, 'poopy-ploppy-poo.' She said, 'I know.' The rest is magic."

arghitude

noun. Ask the perturbed, the peeved, the pained, and the chagrinned. They know what it is to argh one out.

Real citation: “Another cause of arghitude is that when you use macros like this, you're sort of writing in your own extension the C language, which means that your code is non-standard, more complex, and somewhat less readable (though it's somewhat balanced out in this case by the readability advantages of forall over for)."
(http://www.cocoadev.com/index.pl?ForallMacro)

Made-up citation: "I've had so little arghitude this week... The sun is shining, the breeze is calming, my work is getting done, new ideas are flowing, and even the toilet has a rainbow. Did I die and no one told me?!?!?"

traumatic facelift perma-surprise

noun phrase. A disturbing condition of the kisser that may result from getting a foot facelift on your face.

Real citation: "Erin turned around to see what woman was so surprised by, realized too late it was traumatic facelift perma-surprise"
(Erin McKean, July 18, 2008, Facebook update)

Made-up citation: "The risks of plastic surgery are many: trout pout, traumatic facelift perma-surprise, camel boobs, schnozal Jacksonitis..."

demon-possessive

adj. Beats passive-aggressive. Or does it? Don't ask me, I'm no exorcist. Unlike this guy.

Real citation: "Primarily used to cure mental illnesses or the 'demon-possessive' type."
("Binding," http://www.umich.edu/~ece/student_projects/remedies/rituals/binding.html)

Made-up citation: "Along with 'court-ordered' and 'poo-propelled,' the appearance of the word 'demon-possessive' in a personal ad or menu is taken as a bad omen in my culture."

Bush’s-colon-scented

adj. Smell the Presidential magic.

Real citation: "Sketch in Karl Rove holding the magazine cover in one sweaty, Bush’s-colon-scented paw as he feverishly pleasures himself."
(Elvis Dingledein, July 14, 2008, The Daily Clusterdouche, http://www.clusterdouche.com/blog/2008/07/14/goddamn-awesome-bob-cesca-cross-post-go/)

Made-up citation: "My favorite writer James Wolcott looks at the man-crush and how a Bush’s-colon-scented head region has become a trendy feather in many stanky caps."

post-beard-scuba-vibe

noun. Like day follows night and bounty hunters follow bounty huntees, something had to come after the golden age of fully bearded scuba vibes.

Real citation: “We do have fun laughing at some of them. Ultimately, its a strange thing to think about. You could call it jazz-punk or jazz-rock or post-rock or, as we call it, ‘post-beard-scuba-vibe.’”
(Safa Shokrai, June 13, 2008, Wired, http://blog.wired.com/music/2008/06/memory-overload.html)

Made-up citation: “’Post-beard-scuba-vibe or pre-beard-scuba-vibe?’ is the question wracking the brains of local citizens who have gone plumb out of their minds.”

baconpire

noun. An Undead American with a taste for the unclean (but deeeeeee-licious).

Real citation: “I'm a hampire, and a baconpire and a cheeseburgerpire. No wonder I'm so ample.”
(Nov. 21, 2005, http://www.haloscan.com/comments/blogho/113258636660043114/)

Made-up citation: “No one knows how baconpires are created. Was a conjugal event between Count Chocula and Porky Pig involved? Further research is needed.”

semi-dipshit

noun. Damn it, Wilson, I asked for a pure dipshit! These non-dipshit impurities will not be tolerated.

Real citation: “As a side note, the Public Morning Musume Tracker has encountered some ‘semi-dipshit’ lately, and a URL change was necessary for good."
(Aug. 3, 2004, http://astrobox.org/archive.html)

Made-up citation: “As your guidance counselor, I am obligated to inform you, based on your test scores, that you will never earn an insult less offensive then semi-dipshit. But if you work hard and strive for quasi-buttmunch status, who knows what is possible.”

schmanotechnology

noun. A schtickle of nanotechnology.

Real citation: “Nanotechnology schmanotechnology”
(Jan. 14, 2002, Slashdot, http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=26193&threshold=1&commentsort=0&mode=thread&no_d2=1&cid=2838883)

Made-up citation: “I wonder if even a trained Yiddish scholar can tell the difference between a schmo, a schmuck, a schlub, and a schnook. Would schmanotechnology help?”

polter-rat

noun. Ghosts are bad. Rodents are bad. But a squeaky, apparition-y combo of the two? Tuck me into bed with a pitchfork.

Real citation: “But today she's even less lucky. When she awakes, craving drugs, she rises from the stained mattress that serves as her bed and immediately falls to the floor. She screams when she sees what has happened to her. A Polter-Rat scurries away, barely seen. While Gumdrop slept, the creature ate all the flesh off her feet, leaving only bare bones.”
(Edward Lee, Dorchester Publishing, http://www.dorchesterpub.com/Dorch/SpecialFeatures.cfm?Special_ID=1530)

Made-up citation: “An exterminator, a ghost hunter, and a rat terrier all failed to remove this polter-rat from my once-happy home. Tonight, I’m polter-nuking the place. So if any of you kids have a soul or ectoplasm you don’t want to lose, you’d better stay with a friend.”

omnidouche

noun. A douche for all seasons. A douche of all trades. One douche fits all.

Real citation: “Dan Bryant—A Brownie + a fratboy + a politico = omnidouche”
(Feb. 8, 2007, The Declaration Online, http://www.the-declaration.com/index.php?issuedate=2007-02-08&showarticle=1609)

Made-up citation: “I don't recommend the life of an omnidouche to my children and disciples. I tell them, show your commitment to douchery by picking a specialty and sticking with it. Carpe douche!”

holy smurfballs

exclamation. Because shitballs aren't fit to be shouted (or served as appetizers) to all audiences.

Real citation: "HOLY SMURFBALLS MORE BEDARD"
(April 26, 2008, http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2008/4/26/461459/4-26-open-game-thread-part)

Made-up citation: "Holy smurfballs! On my trip to the Twin Cities, I have found bookstores, beer, bros, and a surrogate dog, who I bought some pig ears. Thank Zeus my dog doesn't read the blogs; he'd chew my eyeballs out of jealousy."

dingleberry-gate

noun. A scandal that requires careful scrutiny, penetrating analysis, and firsthand accounts. Just not from me, please!

Real citation: “Another word you don’t hear too often is dingleberries. You know, you never hear it on Meet the Press. The dingleberry solution. Dingleberry-gate. Nothing.”
(George Carlin, Nov. 5, 2005, Life is Worth Losing)

Made-up citation: “As a result of the scandal known to pundits and schoolchildren as dingleberry-gate, I am now going to barf up my cowboy boots. Wolf Blitzer signing off.”

wipewad

noun. Asswipe plus jackwad minus jackass. That’s math, people. Embrace the future of the American economy.

Related terms: wadwipe

Real citation: “Last edited by Jake Spike : 24-02-2008 at 14:36. Reason: Because I can, wipewad.”
(Feb. 24, 2008, Aberdeen-Music.com, http://www.aberdeen-music.com/forums/fudgenet/47874-fma-08-best-extreme-act-2.html)

Made-up citation: “To some, Americans are infidel scum. I prefer to think of us as a nation of wipewad scum. But I’m an optimist…”

doomsday-y

adj. It’s-the-end-of-the-world-ish. Oh the humanity-type substance!

Real citation: “We're a RICH Argentina for the moment, which is different. I hate to be all doomsday-y, but we have ceded our economic independence in many ways, and it's just a matter of time before we have to pay the price, whatever that will be. I know it's in other country's interests to keep the goods (and financing) flowing into the US and money flowing out, but it can't go on forever.”
(Jan. 31, 2006, The Next Hurrah, http://thenexthurrah.typepad.com/the_next_hurrah/2006/01/our_growing_inc.html)

Made-up citation: “What do you get your revelation-loving, apocalypse-licking, doomsday-y daughter when the pet store is plumb out of seven-headed hamsters? Try Atom-smasher Barbie—for girls who want to go shopping AND suck the world into hell.”

hellhound whisperer

noun. Dog, horse, baby, and meerkat whisperers step aside…

Real citation: “I was now a Demon Hunter/ Hellhound whisperer, well thats what the guys called me."
(May 20, 2008, Quizilla, http://www.quizilla.com/stories/7220590/until-the-end-ch2)

Made-up citation: "There's a fine line between dog walker and hellhound whisperer. And that fine line is what I like to call the gates of hell. Now who's a good poochie? Are you a good poochie? You're a little poochie-woochie bow-wow."

leprobot

noun. A robot with leprosy? A leprechaun with a hard drive? You buy it, you define it. Call NOW.

Real citation: “What about ‘NinjaPirateZombieSombreroFairyLepR obot?’ I rather like the sound of ‘Leprobot,’ myself. Like, there's a pot of gold, but its actually gold bolts and gears.”
(May 1, 2007, http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com:8080/vb/archive/index.php/t-137329.html)

Made-up citation: “They didn’t make leprobots and nano-ponies when I was a child… We had to make do with nothing but a red wagon, a death star, and something I like to call imagination.”

restraino-complaino

noun. A reverse Valentine enforced by the law, not the Cupid.

Real citation: “A mom complained that the man at the Community Center had been restrained from being near her child. But the restraino-complaino didn’t list the kid, and anyway sporting events were exempt.”
(Kevin L. Hoover, April 15, 2008, The Arcata Eye, http://www.arcataeye.com/index.php?module=Pagesetter&tid=2&topic=7&func=viewpub&pid=896&format=full)

Made-up citation: “Can I file a restraino-complaino against my own guardian angel? He’s a real turd in my metaphysical punchbowl. And when he sits on my shoulder, it itches.”

turbo-doofus

noun. An upgrade to the traditional doofus. Throw that hipster doofus away!

Real citation: “Vanessa is one of the hottest chicks on tv today...but consider this...she was once upon a time married to turbo doofus extrodinare, Corey Feldman. And now I believe she has a kid with the guy who played David Silver on Belverly Hills 90210. Kinda drops her stock a little bit, but I'd still totally take a roll with her.”
(Feb. 28, 2006, Street Racing Online, link dead)

Made-up citation: “A turbo-doofus, a nano-doofus, a cosmo-doofus, and an astro-doofus walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘May God have mercy on us all.’ Then an asteroid hits the earth.”

Oprahvescent

adj. I would define this word, but I'm too busy basking in its divine glow. Ah... That's the stuff... Right there... Lower... I mean, save me, Oprah, from myself!

Real citation: "Newsgasm: Oprahvescent Edition"
(Dec. 2, 2005, TVgasm, http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/industry/newsgasm-ophrav-1480.php)

Made-up citation: "I was asked to be on the Oprah show a few years ago; the dog whisperer was a guest, and he needed pooches with problems. I didn't think mine had enough to qualify, but I've since regretted my rash rejection. Will I ever have a chance to be Oprahvescent again?"

whateverdoodle

noun. A poodle-majig.

Real citation: “i do wonder why do all these breeders start breeding new ‘breeds’ It is a sort of hype having a whateverdoodle?”
(Oct. 12, 2005, http://www.chazhound.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-11647.html)

Made-up citation: “Look at this dog, people. This is not a labradoodle. It’s not a helldoodle—Satan’s favorite slipper-fetcher. And it’s no cocka-shih-poo, by jiminy. Future historians will have to determine how this whateverdoodle was produced, and whether man or Martian or stem-cell cluster mated with a poodle to produce this affront to decency that is both abominable and adorable.”

post-traumatic swirly disorder

noun phrase. A condition the Dude suffers from throughout The Big Lebowski, in addition to hey-that-guy-peed-on-my-rug syndrome and I-am-so-stoned-itis.

Real citation: “Thor encounters some flashbacks due to post-traumatic swirly disorder.”
(July 19, 2008, Brat-halla, http://www.drunkduck.com/Brathalla/index.php?p=418333)

Made-up citation: “There’s no cure for post-traumatic swirly disorder, my friend. Just eat right, get some exercise, and—I can’t stress this enough—keep your head elevated well above toilet level at all times.”

poo-diddly-oop

noun. Not a synonym for diddly-poop. This word has no known mathematical properties.

Real citation: “Well, what a fine mess of poo-diddly-oop I made of that one!”
(July 12, 2006, http://www.fundamentalforums.com/archive/index.php/t-8437.html)

Made-up citation: “Each pile of poo-diddly-oop is a precious part of the divine plan, a sacred mound of manure that no earthly turd-herder should disturb. We must not question or pooper-scoop God's will—except for that pile I stepped in, which is bullshit.”

canoe on Lake Lunacy

verb phrase. A naval voyage in which getting out of the boat—contrary to what you may have learned in movies and the technical manuals—is the one, true path to greater sanity and cleaner drawers.

Real citation: “I'm really not surprised that Athena hung back and said zilch about anything. Kara is canoeing on Lake Lunacy in a big way, for Athena to even offer up one thing the story would have to give some indication that there was any way in the vastness of space that anyone could think she was anything other than raving.”
(stillshimpy, May 3, 2008, “ 4-5: "The Road Less Travelled" 2008.05.02,” Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3172280&view=findpost&p=10217849)

Made-up citation: “In my family, canoeing on Lake Lunacy is a popular summer sport. And in the winter, we ice fish.”

prostiturkey

noun. A bird of the night.

Real citation: “This is my submission, the Prostiturkey. We’ll call her ‘Amber.’”
(http://www.oddtodd.com/turkey3/pages/prostiturkey.htm)

Made-up citation: “I don’t judge prostiturkeys. I prefer to focus on the farmers who pimped them out, the chickens who employed their services in dank coops, and the society that turned away.”

super-blatherdom

noun. An exalted state, above and beyond earthly blithering and blathering, where blah-blahs and yada-yadas get their Viking funeral. I don’t know what that means, which seems apt.

Real citation: “This nine-page poem absolutely transported me into super-blatherdom, which is to say: speechlessness.”
(June 30, 2003, CorpsePoetics, http://winepoetics.blogspot.com/2003_06_01_winepoetics_archive.html)

Made-up citation: “Few doctors can diagnose super-blatherdom in patients anymore, since 92% of new symptoms present in blogs. Even the popsicle stick doesn't help.”

ow-fricking-fracking-ch

interjection. A euphemistic yet emphatic exclamation of pain. Warning: Not likely to impress the guys in the squadron or fantasy league.

Real citation: “Part of one of my molars broke off. I have no dental insurance. (Cause and effect, effect and cause.... Anyway.) Now my tongue is rubbing against the molar, and it is hurting like hell... both the molar and the tongue. Ow-fricking-fracking-ch.”
(May 1, 2008, That Cruel Beast Hope, http://jeremytblack.livejournal.com/38888.html)

Made-up citation: "By Odin's beard! In the name of all that is holy! Ow-fricking-fracking-ch! Sweet merciful meatballs! God diddly damn! Mother Mary on a marsupial! What am I yelling about!"

goo-goo-ga-gun

interjection. Not associated with the mother of the year or the first 765,998 runner-ups.

Real citation: "Goo-goo-ga-gun: Mom packs heat in baby's stroller"
(Rocco LaDuca, July 3, 2008, GateHouse News Service, http://www.wellsvilledaily.com/state_news/x390624661/Goo-goo-ga-gun-Mom-packs-heat-in-babys-stroller)

Made-up citation: "Some parenting manuals now suggest that cooing language such as 'goo-goo-ga-gun' and 'killy-killy' will prepare your child for the challenges of an uncertain tomorrow. Fuzzy Firearm Fun-fun—a new mandatory activity in many pre-school curriculums—should also help to hone your child's moral philosophy and aim."

non-evilosity

noun. This won’t qualify you for sainthood, but you might land a date with my sister, available immediately.

Real citation: “Folks stopped paying attention. So the United Nations slyly increased the price tag to $1.6 billion. You’d laugh, if it weren’t so thoroughly evil. The United States, despite Congress’ attempts to pin our funding of the UN to, well, non-evilosity, basically underwrites 25% of whatever that organization does.”
(April 18, 2006, Joe’s Dartblog, http://www.dartblog.com/data/005520.html)

Made-up citation: “When you live in a moral quagmire, even non-evilosity is an accomplishment. I live in Aunt Edna’s shed with three hobo clowns and a ferret.”

sandwichitude

noun. A quality I admire in a lunch.

Real citation: "Meet the Rube Waddell Burger ($8.95). This hefty sum of saturated fats stands as one of the most brilliant, disturbing mergers of sandwichitude in history."
(Feb. 27, 2008, Taste of the Town, http://www.spokane7.com/blogs/taste/archive.asp?postID=6775)

Made-up citation: "I have many close personal friends with strong values and great potential for sandwichitude. I mean, I might think that if I were a filthy cannibal! Which I absolutely am not--not even during The Secret Feast of The Sacred No-no."

craposterous

adj. “Preposterous” is one of my favorite words. I even like it when it’s full of crap.

Real citation: “Guess it was just too much trouble for the authors to write anything origional. Or else the book companies got them cheap! I've seen some fanfiction that is truely wonderful to read; the characters are written correctly and the plots are believable. This craposterous insult to my eyes offered by the profic (?) authors is not even fit to line the bottom of my bird's cage!!”
(Oct. 12, 2000, Jedi Council Forums, http://boards.theforce.net/prequel_trilogy/b10669/840777/p29)

Made-up citation: “Raiders of the Lost Ark Trivia: It’s fortunate that Stephen Spielberg overruled George Lucas, who wanted Indiana Jones to chase the craposterous gazebo of the covenant while carrying his trusty lacrosse stick and wearing a pillbox hat.”

post-zombie-lyptic

adj. Zombies so rarely leave a civilization in the same shape they found it. What happened to the campsite rule? Were they raised by a zombie master in a barn?

Real citation: “Written by the creator of the hit Sci Fi TV show EUREKA, Andrew Cosby, and EUREKA staff writer Johanna Stokes with art by new fan favorite and current BLUE BEETLE artist Rafael Albuquerque, THE SAVAGE BROTHERS tells the post-zombie-lyptic tale of Dale and Otis Savage–who’ll hop in their Ford F-150, and bring back, or put down any of your undead relatives… for a price. Things get weird (relatively speaking) when Dale and Otis get hired to retrieve a zombie scientist who may hold the key to the supernatural apocalypse.”
(Oct. 17, 2007, Around Comics, http://www.aroundcomics.com/?p=347)

Made-up citation: “Some say my humble home is grody and reeking of filth and squalor. I prefer to think of it as a post-zombie-lyptic terrordome, where heroes roam."

pontiff-licking

adj. A word found in very few installments of the Vatican Pennysaver.

Real citation: “Polly Toynbee is on fine, angry form in today’s Guardian. In a piece headlined Not In My Name, she bashes the greasy flow of pontiff-licking oozing from the media, takes Blair to task for bowing before the corpse of a paedophile-protecting propagator of AIDS, points out the hypocrisy of the public grief-junkies descending on Rome, and ultimately condemns the affluent Western congregation of Catholics for allowing the Church to prop up poverty and death in developing nations.”
(April 8, 2005, http://submitresponse.co.uk/weblog/2005/04/08/wonderful-toynbee-grauniad-pope-slap/)

Made-up citation: “Considering how pontiff-licking the press is, I wonder why all religions don’t have a pope. Think of the possibilities. The Jewish pope, Muslim pope, leprechaun pope, and pope pope could have an annual conference, with a chicken-wing-eating contest and infallibility hoedown live on ESPN 2.”

deca-thousandaire

noun. The boy with the big bucks who all the babes want to bed. He even owns his own skateboard.

Real citation: “Now the doctor has a gardener, who doesn't own a house but owns his truck and tools, and has some equity in his business, maybe in the range of about $20,000 altogether. He's a deca-thousandaire, if you will.”
(Aug. 7, 2007, Peak Oil News Forums, http://www.peakoil.com/post505368.html)

Made-up citation: “The tanking economy is turning bazillionaires into zillionaires and deca-thousandaires into rubble. Even squirrels are selling their nuts on eBay for peanuts.”

octo-centric

adj. When you shuffle off your ethnocentrism and strap on four prosthetic tentacles, you will achieve this lofty state of mind.

Real citation: “After 50 years, in other words, we still don't know that much about what's going on in the heads of octopuses. Carefully designed experiments will be essential for finding out more, but so will a more octo-centric attitude.”
(Carl Zimmer, June 23, 2008, Slate, “How Smart Is the Octopus?”, http://www.slate.com/id/2192211/)

Made-up citation: “The American people have long been wary of octo-centric foreign policy initiatives. But liberals and conservatives alike have embraced the Octo-surge and its terrifying implications for Iraq, decency, and non-tentacled Americans.”