Monday, October 04, 2004

I, Evil Giant Killer Robot

In the movies and the bedroom, robots are popular household appliances--and "robot" is the word of the day.

A quick search through Google news reveals about a gazillion stories of how far robots have come from the toasters and evil giant killer robots of my childhood: I found actual stories about surgical robots, biped entertainment robots, microscopic swimming robots, bug-sized flying robots, yellow torpedo-shaped robots, cockroach-like robots, yo-yo-playing robots, robot telescopes, robot dogs, robot porters, vampire robots who eat flies for energy--and a Christ-like robot that walks on water.

Clearly, an old Onion headline ("I believe the robots are the future") is coming true, but what about the past? Who will speak of yesterday's homespun, rusty, rustic robots? Well, with a simple substitution, even traditional folk songs will sing the praises of our metallic brothers and sisters. Here's the playlist of the future:

Robots Will Guide Us
Lift Me, Gentle Robot
He’s My Rock, My Sword, My Robot
I Wish I Had Someone to Love My Robot
Did They Beat the Robot Slowly?
Bring a Robot, Jeanette Isabella
All the Pretty Little Robots
Sweet Robot of Yesterday
When Robot Eyes are Smiling
When I Was a Curly-Headed Robot
Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Robot
I Didn’t Raise My Boy to be a Robot
Have You Seen the Robot of John?
Fair Young Robot All in a Garden
The Robots are Dripping
A Horse Named Robot
I Can Feel the Sweet Robots
Hallelujah, I’m a Robot!
My Robot Says Stop
Gonna Do What the Robot Says
Goodbye to the Thirty-Foot Robot
I Get Butterflies in My Robot
Don’t Put Your Finger Up Your Robot
Ballad of Springhill Robot Disaster
Robots are Born in a Circle of the Sun
Be Thou My Robot
Dudley Pippen and the Robot
Your Daughters and Your Robots
Who’s Your Mama’s Robot?
Why Weep Ye By the Robot?
Walk in Jerusalem Just Like Robots
I’m Sitting on Top of the Robot
Roll in My Sweet Baby’s Robots
The Rich Man and the Robot Man
Sergeant, I’m a Robot
My Dame Had a Lame Tame Robot
My Robot Said Not to Put Beans in My Ears
Last Night I Had the Strangest Robot
Jesus Jesus Rest Your Robot
Robot Fill the Flowing Bowl
Follow the Drinkin’ Robot
Ah Robot Bird
Brand New Tennessee Robot
Ezekial Saw the Robot
The First Time I Ever Saw Your Robot
I Sat Down With the Robot to Tea
I Ride a Big Blue Robot
Let Us Break Robots Together
Please Tip Your Robot
Freedom is a Constant Robot

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