cuddly-aggressive

adj. More disturbing than passive-aggressive. More snugly too.

Real citation: "Hi i have a baby holland lop rabbit she is very cute and her name is brownie. She is also very cuddly aggressive sometimes. She is a very good bunny and a very fluffy bunny. She is the cuttest bunny you would ever see."
(Dec. 19, 2007, Animal World, http://animal-world.com/php/AllComments.php?cid=hollandlop)

Made-up citation: "How do I deal with cuddly-aggressive behavior? Glad you asked. I just tell your mom to put on her combat boots and head home. Happy new year!"

colonoscosode

noun. The real reason behind the writer's strike.

Real citation: "A fair share of newfangled revenue. Management is currently offering us adjusted bubkes of what they are making off Internet sell-through, streaming, ringtones, Webisodes, cellisodes, iPodisodes, celebrity-narrated colonoscosodes, or the psychotic episodes they’ve been beaming into your brain, brought to you by Clozaril™. All we are asking is 2.5 per cent of revenue, based on forty per cent of gross receipts, divided by zero, in bullion. We believe that this is a fair formula, yet one complicated enough for Management to continue to find ways to exercise their cheating rights."
(Nov. 19, 2007, Larry Doyle, The New Yorker, http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2007/11/19/071119sh_shouts_doyle)

Made-up citation: "Stay tuned for a very special episode--pardon me--a very special colonoscosode of Grey's Anatomy, entirely narrated by Meredith's butt."

un-smurfing-polite

adj. Actually, this is pretty smurfing polite.

Real citation: "You should never have tried to smurf it in her smurfhole without asking. Or at the very least you couldv'e used a little smurfroglide. It just nasty and un-smurfing-polite. Its no smurfing way to treat a lady smurf. Especially the only lady smurf."
(April 1, 2007, Paizo, http://paizo.com/people/ReekyShanks/posts)

Made-up citation: "You may think I am uncouth, ill-mannered, and un-smurfing-polite. But that's just because I smurfed you with my butt."

thongaroos

noun. Underoos with a little less under.

Real citation: "mine has ogre chicks in thongaroos "
(March 11, 2003, EZboard, http://p103.ezboard.com/fchildrenofthemotheranouncements.showNextMessage?topicID=813.topic)

Made-up citation: "Governor Blago-whatsit just posted thirty pictures of himself in thongaroos on his Facebook page, hoping for a sea change in press coverage. Hey, it worked for Lincoln."

exorcism czar

noun. A fancy title for a demon-expeller's demon-expeller.

Real citation: "My only question is, why hasnt your fav preznit created a cabinet post for an Exorcism Czar; it'd be a likely real crowd pleaser for a good number of your fellow base members."
(April 28, 2007, TalkLeft, http://www.talkleft.com/story/2007/4/27/131845/894)

Made-up citation: "There are only four people in the world who can help you right now, Stanley: the Pope, Batman, Angelina Jolie, and me--the exorcism czar of the entire tri-state area."

testosto-moronic

adj. Do you love the smell of testicles in the morning? How about idiocy? Then I think you're going to like this word and planet.

Real citation: "The network gods must be crazy. And clearly, not all of the carnage can be blamed on the writers' strike, despite the relentless attempts by industry executives to do so. Yes, the strike delayed some of our favorite series -- 'The Shield' and '24,' for example -- but many more shows stumbled and fell on their faces after reasonably promising first seasons. 'Lipstick Jungle' and 'Pushing Daisies' were pulled this fall due to story lines that felt repetitive within weeks of their premieres and, not surprisingly, failed to pull in interested viewers over the long haul. Meanwhile, shows like Showtime's 'Californication,' HBO's 'Entourage' and 'The Life and Times of Tim,' and FX's 'Testees' sallied forth clumsily like unholy zombies, defining a whole new subgenre: the plotless, joke-free, cringe-inducing, testosto-moronic half-hour cable tragicomedy."
(Heather Havrilesky, Dec. 28, 2008, Salon, http://www.salon.com/ent/tv/feature/2008/12/28/year_in_tv/)

Made-up citation: "Under the new laws, all testosto-moronic behavior will be punishable with a testosto-colonic nuclear pitchfork."

Greater Scumbagistan

noun. The homeland! Where my scumbag-cestors roamed.

Real citation: "Kerry said the incident raised questions about Fox's fitness to serve as an ambassador, unless it was either to East Assholia or Greater Scumbagistan."
(Feb. 28, 2007, WTF Is It Now?!?, http://maruthecrankpot.blogspot.com/2007/02/not-so-fast-asswipe-kerry-slams.html)

Made-up citation: "Many have tried to visit my apartment without making a detour through Greater Scumbagistan. Many have failed. Life is a journey."

shoe-enfreude

noun. I take pleasure in the suffering of shoes. To me, they're not even human!

Real citation: "The occasion has been referred to as Shoe-enfreude on. A alter ego told me the reporter's dub was Joe and after a mark time while I looked at him blankly, he followed by saying, 'Shoeless Joe'. Then someone asked what President Bush's favorite pie is and the retort is of course, 'shoe-fly' pie. Someone else referred to the to-do as an attempted 'shoe-icide'. But there is a precarious inconsiderable to all of this."
(Dec. 18, 2008, Unknown War Video, http://unknownwarvideo.blogspot.com/2008/12/birmingham-progressive-politicsBlogger: Wordlustitude - Create Post.html)

Made-up citation: "Our relationship was so solid, or so I thought. We overcame many obstacles, including a run-in with a cult, but when I demanded 'shoe-enfreude' be part of our wedding vows, well... That's why I'm single and speaking to you from the roof instead of the parlor of Veronica's estate."

schmubby-wubby-poo

noun. Schmoopy-woopy-poo.

Real citation: "Sera: Hey there handsome! It's me, your schmubby-wubby poo."
(June 13, 2003, Hamtaro World, http://www.hamtaroworld.5u.com/)

Made-up citation: "Jenkins, we need to talk. Your little pet names are inappropriate for the office environment. Professionals don't appreciate being called schmubby-wubby-poo, ho-cake, assbutt, or Daddy's little dumpling. Got that, poopoobutthead?"

paleo-jackass

noun. A jackass of yore.

Real citation: "Clarence Thomas, who you mentioned in your post, is merely a paleo-jackass by comparison"
(Jan. 4, 2008, http://mailman.lbo-talk.org/pipermail/lbo-talk/Week-of-Mon-20071231/000267.html)

Made-up citation: "Only a trained specialist--with at least three grad degrees--can tell the difference between a paleo-jackass and a paleo-douche just by glancing at their bone structure or blog posts."

ex-step-ferret

noun. A rodent unrelated by blood. And lost in the mists of time!

Real citation: "My ex step-ferret used to like to hang out inside the couch. She would come out if you shook a box of cereal because she loved Fruit Loops."
(Nov. 14, 2008, Snopes, http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=38364)

Made-up citation: "I wish I could stop slithering back to my ex-step-ferret. But a soulmate is a soulmate..."

obvious-tacular-ish

adj. Duh-tacular-ish.

Real citation: "Well, why don't I start by saying what's wrong with Halloween? I'm such a pessimist! Everything of life is wrong. No questions asked.
skenk.
1) The obvious-tacular-ish one: SAFETY!
No, I am not talking about the whole "syringe-in-the-bag-of-chips/poisoned-apple" thing. I mean RAPE. There are a lot of rapists out there, especially in MY community (lawl@that) and child predators and whatnot. And on occasion the person you/your child is taking candy from IS a rapist!! GASP. And if you're one of those parents on crack-cocaine, then you MIGGGHHHT not know WHAT your child is dressed up as. So here is a fun little scenario I'm throwing together as it forms in my head.
Child dressed as a ghost goes up to rapist's house. Rapist kidnaps child, escapes to mexico. The parent on crack-cocaine can obv describe the child... but then they'll be all 'zomg I don't know what costume it was wearing'. Then the child floats up dead on your local beach/your well.
That's why Halloween is not safe."
(Nov. 1, 2008, Livejournal, http://whoknew007.livejournal.com/828.html)

Made-up citation: "After 36 years on this planet, one thing and one thing only has become obvious-tacular-ish: pale ale goes great with pizza. Don't say I never taught you anything, future generations!"

semi-ok-crappy-esque

adj. May indicate that best practices are not being followed. Likely to signal the presence of crap. Hardly the kind of language I hoped to see on your report card again, young man!

Real citation: "There was a bunch of other shit, I'm tired of typing, I played semi-ok-crappy-esque, but you know... can't touch this."
(July 28, 2004, Ravetrash, http://www.ravetrash.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=276476&sid=054d52c8e459114f842770c36e4997cd)

Made-up citation: "'Have a semi-ok-crappy-esque holidays!' That's what my mother said to me every year. You know what's worse? She said it in May."

manblogitude

noun. What you'll find, if you dare to look, deep inside the pants of all testosterone-marinated blogs such as this.

Real citation: "I’m not sure I can take a calendar full of steaming hot manblogitude…"
(Dec. 3, 2008, The Comics Curmudgeon, http://joshreads.com/?p=1809)

Made-up citation: "Women love me for my manblogitude. Men hate me for it. Man-blogs admire me. Woman-blogs are curious. Woodland critters are just afraid."

(Thanks to Ben Zimmer for the tip!)

Catholic dog exorcist whisperer guy

noun phrase. A quiet professional who always carries holy water and Scooby snacks.

Real citation: "ahhh thats better. Thanks to the Dog Whisperer/Exorcist, the shapeshifting schitzu dog demon thing is happier and I can now lead it around the house without it perching evil-ly on my back ... thanks Catholic Dog Exorcist Whisperer guy you've saved the universe again with your anti-demon-dog-back-perching superpowers ... and the shoulders on my shirts are now completely clean with no unnecessary evil demon-dog mess."
(Nov. 14, 2007, The Paracast Community Forums, http://forum.theparacast.com/ghost-stories-f12/demon-on-his-back-t1233/)

Made-up citation: "Mom! I want to be a Catholic dog exorcist whisperer guy when I grow up. They wear the funnest hats."

pee-piphany

noun. A wet realization astronauts deal with using a maximum absorbency garment. Hope it was worth it, space-boy.

Real citation: "Pee-piphany
Hi internet! I am sure you will be thrilled to learn that I have more or less perfected the ability to stay half-asleep when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. If there's one thing in this world I have a genuine knack for, it's sleeping. You know how Mr. Newt is the Michael Phelps of giving advice? I am the Michael Phelps of losing consciousness and staying that way."
(Nov. 23, 2008, Dear Gherkin, http://mydeargherkin.blogspot.com/2008/11/pee-piphany.html)

Made-up citation: "I have great respect for your pee-piphanies, dude. Just don't have one again on the top bunk."

douche-wibbler

noun. One of the most loathsome wibblers in the known galaxy.

Real citation: "Jay, you're a douche-wibbler."
(Sarah Silverman, Dec. 4, 2008, The Sarah Silverman Show, http://www.avclub.com/content/tvclub/the_sarah_silverman_6??utm_source=television&utm_medium=RSS)

Made-up citation: "The Zen master smiled at the apprentice and said, 'You are not a douche-wibbler, as your family insists. You are only a wibbler-wibbler.' At this, the apprentice became enlightened."

French-fry-pocalypse

noun. What a way to go. Pommes-frite-geddon.

Real citation: "French Fry-pocalypse
I see this picture and I think…ominous. If this wasn’t such a common occurrence I’d suggest this might be one of the seven signs of the apocalypse. If seagulls stole your fries wouldn’t you think it was the end of the world? Could these be the seven seagulls of the apocalypse? Yah, probably not, but they sure look angry."
(Dec. 9, 2006, Lord of the Fries, http://lordofthefries.wordpress.com/2006/12/09/french-fry-pocalypse/)

Made-up citation: "If I die today, let it be in a French-fry-pocalypse. Bury me in ketchup! Eat me with a burger. Commend my soul to...um...a good soul-commender."

super-duper-robo-thingy-of-doom

noun. Your Christmas shopping is over, along with your entire way of life--because of the doooooooooooom!

Real citation: "Errr, I've beaten the game once, though not including all the Danger room discs. I don't remember all that apocalypse stuff though. Also, the last boss is General Kincaid in his super-duper-robo-thingy-of-doom."
(April 6, 2005, UGO.com Forums, http://forums.ugo.com/archive/index.php/t-20661.html)

Made-up citation: "Child: 'Mom, can I use my super-duper-robo-thingy-of-doom in the bathtub, to destroy the bathtub and all we hold dear?' Mom: 'Yes, you may.'"

CTWF (catastrophic tortilla wall failure)

noun phrase. It's brought down many burritos before their time. And those burritos had families!

Real citation: "If the burrito is especially full or the tortilla is weak, this pressure wave can cause there to be a catastrophic tortilla wall failure or as I call it CTWF, which creates a giant mess."
(Dec. 17, 2008, WunderKraut, http://www.wunderkraut.com/index.php/archives/2008/12/17/how-to-eat-a-burrito/)

Made-up citation: "I'm moving to Switzerland, where even CTWF and hurt feelings are covered by universal health care. I'm not as indestructible as I look, you know. I suffer, and I bleed, and when spilled burrito parts fall in the bleeding wound, I cry too."