unidiotness

noun. Someone's using the old thinkbone.

Real citation: "if the idiot user then manages to read through the manpage for rm and finds out that the argument r makes rm remove directories as well and the argument f makes it not ask any more i am going to congratulate him for his ultimate unidiotness."
(timonator, June 12, 2006, http://forums.introversion.co.uk/introversion/defcon/viewtopic.php?p=4700)

Made-up citation: "Whoever the next President is, I have high hopes for reasonable levels of unidiotness."

missing-the-pointitude

noun. What happens when someone dodges all things pointy.

Real citation: "and of course the film aspect of the festival is also generally overshadowed by the insane hubbub that surrounds it to the point where you wonder if anyone even really thinks of it as a film festival anymore. one example of extreme missing-the-pointitude: the french city is thronged (or is it... thonged?) each year with young girls who plan hairdos, outfits and strategies for months leading up to the festival so they can 'casually' walk past yachts and whore their way into celebrity parties in hopes of being 'discovered.'"
(May 28, 2006, http://ztransmissions.blogspot.com/2006_05_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "Missing-the-pointitude is not one of the seven deadly sins, but it is one of several annoying goddamn faults."

assnutface

noun. An assface--with nuts.

Real citation: "There was no indication that it was the 1st gen until w00t posted the link, assnutface."
(Wheelman, http://www.supercars.net/PitLane?viewThread=true&bottom=10&gID=4&fID=0&tID=115490)

Made-up citation: "The assnutface on my street who destroyed a bike he was trying to steal may not qualify as an evil genius."

scrotumette

noun. Ew.

Real citation: "walking back home from the market, i had to reach down and start into my bag of dried figs. a favorite chinese discovery. these delicacies are the size of a spinning nickel only closer in shape to a hershey's kiss before impact. and really resembling more of a scrotumette, which apparently does not phase me one morsel."
(May 5, 2004, http://solarlab.diaryland.com/stormeye.html)

Made-up citation: "You're not even a scrotum. You're a miserable, passive-aggressive, dried-up scrotumette, and thank Zeus we didn't have any kids."

douche-toolish

adj. Kind of a tool, kind of a douche.

Real citation: "The resulting apoplexy of douche-toolish self-obsession -- too many egos, too small a space, Romo quoting himself, Gaius being all writer guy now, Angeli doing a bang-up job as usual -- causes the entire episode to run backwards from itself and then explode at the very beginning, like it never happened."
(Jacob, "The Son Also Rises," Television Without Pity, page 20, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/articles/content/a12902/index-19.html)

Made-up citation: "Half of good teaching is just being non-douche-toolish."

non-splodey

adj. Safe as houses that don't go kerplooey.

Related terms: non-explodey.

Real citation: "So to yourself, keep your head non-splodey, have Mr. Frank give you a nice rubdown, and calm down. We need you coherently righteous for the 2012 elections."
(shimauma, Sept. 20, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:_U4E6wa0W3YJ:www.imao.us/cgi-bin/monkeystuff.cgi%3Fentry_id%3D6245+%22non-splodey%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Staying away from spicy food makes for a non-splodey ass, says my doctor."

boogerfy

verb. To carry out the hands-on boogerfication process.

Real citation: "Is it child abuse to make sure that the don't create noise pollution and/or boogerfy everthing...? Yeah, I guess pulling it off would hurt. Can somebody please make a kid-muzzle?"
(Jan. 30, 2005, The Pissed Kitty Cometh, http://thepissedkittycometh.blogspot.com/2005_01_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "As a kid, I never knew what to say at confession, so I usually copped to some coveting and boogerfying."

robo-stroke

verb. Some strokes are less fleshy than others.

Real citation: "Hillary thinks we're all stupid and that if we're robo-stroked often enough by her poll-generated paeans, we’ll pull the lever for her."
(Matt Taibbi, "Don't Ask Hillary About Gay Rights -- She Won't Tell," March 14, 2007, Alternet, http://www.alternet.org/columnists/story/49251/)

Made-up citation: "In the future, 'robo-stroke' will take on at least six distinct meanings, only two of which will be sleazebot-related."

concubine-tastic

adj. Looking for concubines and other harem-licious delights? Look no further.

Real citation: "[The Throne Room of the Harem in the Palace in Istanbul. Concubine-tastic...]"
(http://www.anchovy.durge.org/holiday/Europe/22-7.live)

Made-up citation: "The search for the most concubine-tastic quote of the year is over."

rat bleeper

noun. A ratfucker the whole family can enjoy.

Real citation: "Trixie Trischitta remained incommunicado yesterday, but that's OK, because his old co-workers at Avis Rent-a-Car in West Newton surely have a lot to say about their old pal.
'That fat, bleepin' rat bleeper,' said one guy calling from Waltham. 'He got me fired back in '72.'"
(Feb. 26, 1999, Boston Herald, http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-57107093.html)

Made-up citation: "On the inside, we're all rat bleepers, according to Dr. Phil."

meth goggles

noun. The unique worldview imparted on those lucky few who see the world through crystal-meth-colored glasses.

Related terms: vodka goggles, wine goggles, rum and Coke goggles, Long Island Iced Tea goggles, weed goggles, heroin goggles, crack goggles, grain alcohol goggles.

Real citation: "I've done some immoral shit in my life but the worst acts occurred during a phase in which beer goggles had nothing on meth goggles."
(Chester, Feb. 16, 2006, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:M9iW10SbpPQJ:ruthlessforum.com/viewtopic.php%3Fp%3D425600%26sid%3D6e0eadf2d07ab7c53d2552d103d392f5+%22meth+goggles%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Don't confuse meth goggles with protective eyewear: one has to do with dating, the other with a Beavis and Butt-head lab."

fembotization

noun. In the future, we will all be sultry, deadly robots with feminine charms.

Real citation: "That's why the current trend of teen-age girls getting boob jobs is so sad.
I'm not down with the Fembotization of the world."
(Aug. 10, 2005, http://lawrenkmills.mu.nu/archives/111156.php)

Made-up citation: "My presidential platform is consistent: I'm pro-life, pro-family, pro-fembotization, pro-immigration."

crapportunity

noun. A crapfestacular opportunity.

Real citation: "I say that the "Curly W" logo of the Nats is a symbol with two simultaneous meanings -- for "crap" but also for "opportunity": If you will, "crapportunity."
(Dan Shanoff, March 16, 2007, Deadspin, http://deadspin.com/sports/baseball/baseball-season-preview-washington-nationals-244758.php)

Made-up citation: "Seize the crapportunity, kids. It's as easy as shitting the bed."

roommate-cest

noun. A less genetically dubious--yet still unadvisable--form of incest.

Real citation: "Are we talking about roommate-cest here? Bad idea buddy, really bad idea."
(zesovietrussian, Dec. 14, 2005, http://www.geekculture.com/ultimatebb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=7;t=000128)

Made-up citation: "Roommate-cest won't produce any web-footed infants, but paying the cable bill may become an issue when the romance fades."

boogerbutthead

noun. A boogery butthead? A heady boogerbutt? You make the call.

Real citation: "red is a boogerbutthead ;o ^"
(kiwiix33, Aug. 21, 2007, http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:DLfZahW9a3UJ:www.questlife.net/forum/archive/index.php%3Ft-1018.html+boogerbutthead&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: "Modern humans are descended from Neanderthals and bonobos, as well as many other banana-eating boogerbuttheads."

churchgasm

noun. An orgasmic experience--with pews.

Real citation: "so edith was having a churchgasm diring service, during her annual chirch masterbation period. THUS in conclusion. I hate church and -NOTHING- will change that. =]"
(Gracie, Nov. 12, 2006, http://www.melodramatic.com/users/squisheh/%E2%99%A5Bad%20Times~xx/0)

Made-up citation: "All U.S. politicians are required to produce believable, toe-curling churchgasms--because this country is cuckoo-bananas."

bedoofused

adj. An elegant, almost Shakespearian alternative to “doofusistic.”

Real citation: "I seem to remember Mark posting about surgically splicing some X-Box controller to work as a USB device once upon a time, so maybe he will regail us with his exploits of Computer Science genius while me and my penguin look on in bedoofused discombobulation."
(Shabba-doo, May 20, 2004, http://www.bad-candy.com/mb/viewtopic.php?p=37834&sid=222792ecf8d9fc6e193020ec874bd2d3)

Made-up citation: "To stand bedoofused in the morning air really sucks."

plookload

noun. In the lingo of Frank Zappa, a fuckload. Not part of the metric system.

Real citation: "Damn, there seems to be a plookload of new people." (Blandy Buchanan, Sept. 11, 2006, http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=84111&page=468)

Made-up citation: "Thank ye for thy bountiful plookload!"

God on a blue surfboard

idiom. A close relative of "Mother Theresa on a motorbike."

Real citation: "Cally...normally, I try to be civilized and not make the obvious jokes about a character I don't like, and an actress I'm afraid isn't quite up to the job. But not tonight. The acting? Stank on ice. And Cally, within the story? Needs dieing. Stat. Christ I hate her. God on a blue surfboard, I hate her."
(Kaffyr, "3-18: "The Son Also Rises" 2007.03.11," March 12, 2007, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3152128&view=findpost&p=7362563)

Made-up citation: "God on a blue surfboard! I'm a fan of Swedish pancakes."

betrayal-y

adj. Et tu, buttmunch?

Real citation: "82.37 cups of betrayal-y goodness."
(July 21, 2006, http://fallingupstairs.wordpress.com/tag/random/)

Made-up citation: "Is that your destiny? To be as betrayal-y yet adorable as a naked mole rat?"