Wednesday, December 30, 2009

plan-diddly-an

noun. A Ned Flanders special.

Real citation: "@rainamoon sounds like a plan-diddly-an. after morning nap? what are they xraying this time?"
(Nov. 30, 2009, Tera Y, Twitter, http://twitter.com/eviltera/statuses/6210172679)

Made-up citation: "According to history, the only plan-diddly-an that works in Afghanistan is booking a flight to Get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here-istan stat."

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

do-whatever-you-want-cation

noun. The ultimate fill-in-the-blank-cation.

Real citation: "For the do-whatever-you-want-cation I'm breaking my This American Life fast. But the minute I start using the Ira voice I'm stopping."
(Dec. 20, 2009, Chase Gregory, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Chaze_Gregoir/statuses/6877339678)

Made-up citation: "I know how I'll spend my do-whatever-you-want-cation: bathing in the blood of... er... ah... um... helping the community?"

Monday, December 28, 2009

re-alcoholating

verb. A life-giving process also known as re-booze-ification.

Real citation: "Re-alcoholating then joining @ELDING to blog Going Rogue: Chap 4: Showertime with Rick Warren! Whee! #WMNP"
(Dec. 1, 2009, Redmond, Twitter, http://twitter.com/theredmond/status/6255730382)

Made-up citation: "Stand back, people! Re-alcoholating in progress! I will be ready for a brawl, romance, or nap in ten minutes."

Sunday, December 27, 2009

orange-fanta-piss-rainbow-flavored

adj. Many stem cells died to create this flavor.

Real citation: "Enthusiastic lovers & their orange-fanta-piss-rainbow flavored love like a PTA mom on crack."
(Dec. 4, 2009, likelovelust, Twitter, http://twitter.com/likelovelust/status/6338780484)

Made-up citation: "I love my orange-fanta-piss-rainbow-flavored coffee. It makes me want to eat my own brains."

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Kenneth-onomist

noun. Someone well-versed in the ways of Kenneth the page. Or any Kenneth (for example, "Kenneth the Barbarian")

Real citation: "'Special K'. More devoted Tracy-ologists (or Kenneth-onomists) will probably remember exactly when he used this before, but all I have is a vague memory that he did at some point."
(Dec. 11, 2009, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3191546&view=findpost&p=12443341)

Made-up citation: "It usually takes years to be a respected Kenneth-onomist, but for $700 and sexual favors to be named later, I can get you on the fast track."

Friday, December 25, 2009

post-pie-pocalypse

noun. A Christmas tradition as old as Mrs. Claus snorkeling an elf.

Real citation: "@smille Hee! It's the post-pie-pocalypse traditional family squabble!"
(Nov. 27, 2009, Wendy A F G Stengel, Twitter, http://twitter.com/wendywoowho/statuses/6112130756)

Made-up citation: "This post-pie-pocalypse has been the worst ever. Even the food babies didn't make it..."

Thursday, December 24, 2009

strip-club-ologist

noun. An expert in the only science that involves pasties.

Real citation: "@CashMcIntosh well excuse me mr strip-club-ologist and we should!"
(Dec. 2, 2009, MFgreatest, Twitter, http://twitter.com/MFgreatest/statuses/6279344449)

Made-up citation: "Can a Festivus pole be used as a stripper's pole? Better call the strip-club-ologist..."

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

un-blue-beanie-ization

noun. A process not unlike un-green-fez-ization.

Real citation: "Un-blue-beanie-ization complete."
(Dec. 1, 2009, Dave Simon, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ds/statuses/6240323181)

Made-up citation: "I hate going through un-blue-beanie-ization. The things I put up with to be in this death cult..."

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

jolly-old-elf-edness

noun. A quality that cannot be found in nubile young orcs.

Real citation: "Leftoverpalooza rounds out the holiday weekend nicely. Now fixing my gaze on Xmas, psyching up for jolly-old-elf-edness & roast beast."
(Nov. 29, 2009, Charlie Toft, Twitter, http://twitter.com/beer_guy/statuses/6187977970)

Made-up citation: "I admire your jolly-old-elf-edness! I would admire it more if you were not a 29-year-old Cylon."

Monday, December 21, 2009

dumplingasm

noun. A moment of dumpling-derived joy that could result in pregnancy.

Real citation: "@sinewave77 Are you trying to give me a dumplingasm?"
(Dec. 9, 2009, Sarah Stanton, Twitter, http://twitter.com/mallardbranx/status/6492051513)

Made-up citation: "My sister gave me three dumplingasms! Is that a crime against nature or what?"

Sunday, December 20, 2009

chode-dependent

adj. Sometimes, everything depends on a single chode.

Real citation: "(I would say chode-dependent) RT @margaretcho just said he was 'Chodependent'"
(Dec. 12, 2009, excitedstoat, Twitter, http://twitter.com/excitedstoat/status/6610053559)

Made-up citation: "Probably one of the least common words in wedding vows is chode-dependent. But higgledy-piggledy turns up five times a month."

Saturday, December 19, 2009

bacon-fucking-geddon

noun. This would be a good death. A very good death.

Real citation: "@MargoEve According to everyone on my friendslist, it's bacon-fucking-geddon. seems to scare the shit out of everyone. had no *fucking* idea"
(Nov. 24, 2009, Scott DeathBoy, Twitter, http://twitter.com/deathboyuk/statuses/6003723971)

Made-up citation: "When faced with a mutant pig-man invasion, the only thing you can do is begin the bacon-fucking-geddon. At least that's what my bible tells me."

Friday, December 18, 2009

day-facingable

adj. Can-go-on-y.

Real citation: "Feeling much more day-facingable after taking a little club nap. Wish I had something to show for the last eighteen hours, though."
(Dec. 10, 2009, indiamos, Twitter, http://twitter.com/indiamos/status/6536043675)

Made-up citation: "My therapist is working on my ability to be day-facingable. After that, she said we're going to have a talk about the hostages..."

Thursday, December 17, 2009

de-bedsheet-ify

verb. Bedsheets go bye-bye. What will the chambermaid say?

Real citation: "I writhe around and de-bedsheet-ify every bed I am ever on."
(Nov. 29, 2009, Elana, Twitter, http://twitter.com/elana_s/statuses/6192684536)

Made-up citation: "Don't de-bedsheet-ify me, mister! Did Dr. Vargas send you?"

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

eat-anything-and-not-become-a-fatass-itude

noun. Gluttonous and slim? USA! USA!

Real citation: "@mizzkaejae I am so incredibly envious of your eat-anything-and-not-become-a-fatass-itude >_____>"
(Dec. 3, 2009, Skifox, Twitter,
http://twitter.com/foxonskis/statuses/6306751754)

Made-up citation: "My dog has ample amounts of eat-anything-and-not-become-a-fatass-itude. He doesn't gain an ounce, and he once ate a polar bear."

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Batriculture

noun. The culture of the Batman, from whence all others spring.

Real citation: "It's time to teach Batriculture to these savages..."
(Dec. 10, 2009, TimeLostBatman, Twitter, http://twitter.com/TimeLostBatman/status/6543914460)

Made-up citation: "Probably the trickiest part of Batriculture is knowing how often to water the boy wonder."

Monday, December 14, 2009

lepersploitation

noun. One of the least titillating genres I can think of, aside from Don Rickles-ploitation.

Real citation: "I'm starting a new sub-genre of lepersploitation literature with the first graphic installment of LARPing Lepers."
(Nov. 16, 2009, Erin Doherty, Twitter, http://twitter.com/erin_jamal/status/5831131338)

Made-up citation: "'Would you like to star in a lepersploitation flick?' is not an
effective pickup line, even in Jersey."

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Nicolas Cage-tastrophe

noun. A terrible natural event, almost as tragic as a Robin Williams-tastrophe.

Real citation: "Is KNOWING a misunderstood masterpiece or another Nicolas Cage-tastrophe? Share your thoughts below! http://bit.ly/7wzZnx"
(Dec. 3, 2009, Quickflix, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Quickflix/statuses/6324407757)

Made-up: "I've avoided almost all Nicolas Cage-tastrophes. It's been a good life."

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Kwanza-rita

noun. A holiday drink I'd be willing to mainline immediately.

Real citation: "Scotch Nog. This is the best idea I've had since Kwanza-ritas."
(Dec. 8, 2009, Michelle Wood, Twitter, http://twitter.com/EmLaRue/status/6479084067)

Made-up citation: "In my family, Festivus isn't complete without a Kwanza-rita and a big straw."

Friday, December 11, 2009

projectile-vomit-tastic

adj. Bazooka-barf-tacular.

Real citation: "I ignored my general slight intolerance to dairy stuff, because it's no biggie. My main thing I avoid, strangely, is cod. It's the only fish where even eating a small amount makes me go all Linda Blair projectile-vomit-tastic. |-("
(Aug. 13, 2008, Livejournal, http://ewx.livejournal.com/491247.html?thread=3343599#t3343599)

Made-up citation: "How do you like my poetry? Thumbs up, thumbs down, or projectile-vomit-tastic?"

Thursday, December 10, 2009

business-man-donkey-thing

noun. An unholy crossbreed, probably created by the government or your mom.

Real citation: "Uh, hi there business-man-donkey-thing hanging out on Carmine: http://twitpic.com/s4hrl"
(Dec. 4, 2009,
Ben Breier, Twitter, http://twitter.com/misterdisco/status/6345385350)

Made-up citation: "I got a business-man-donkey-thing for Christmas. I asked for a pony. I hate my life."

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

boo-hoovianism

noun. A weepy philosophy quite unrelated to choo-choovianism

Real citation: "A misanthropic friend emailed me today to complain about sentimental 'save-the-animals boo-hoovianism.'
I disagree with what he says, but I will fight to the death to promote his neologism as Word of the Year.
(Well, maybe not to the *death* exactly....)"
(Dec. 4, 2009, Jonathan Lighter, American Dialect Society listserv)

Made-up citation: "I subscribe to the school of boo-hoovianism. I even believe that fish and New Zealanders have souls and feel pain."

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

flatul-ometer

noun. A keen, you-smelt-it-you-dealt-it-detecting device.

Real citation: "Flatul-ometer reading v high on train. Morning guffs aplenty from co-commuters. Breathing through jumper. Wrong."
(Nov. 27, 2009, Steve Potter, Twitter, http://twitter.com/stevepotter1/statuses/6106163772)

Made-up citation: "Can you get your gaydar and flatul-ometer repaired at the same shop?"

Monday, December 07, 2009

abso-aaaaahh-choo-lutely

adv. Fuckin' allergies. I hate God, and he hates me.

Real citation: "@sneakertim Abso-- aaaaahh-CHOO! --lutely."
(June 11, 2009, Matt Powell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/fauxparse/statuses/2125365078)

Made-up citation: "I like cats. I would have cats, if I weren't abso-aaaaahh-choo-lutely certain they would kill me to death with a vengeance."

Sunday, December 06, 2009

sweaty monster syndrome

noun. The worst part of dealing with Frankenstein isn't the murder and mayhem, but the B.O.

Real citation: "@enjoyinsanity um have we met? do we not have the same sweaty monster syndrome? yeah Jacob=sweaty monster syndrome (SMS)"
(Nov. 27, 2009, Lindsey Mitchell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/xdeadfredx/statuses/6127418483)

Made-up citation: "The top pet peeve of Dracula is sweaty monster syndrome. Number two? Werewolves borrowing his jet."

Saturday, December 05, 2009

girlfriend-ifying

verb. A process that can only be undertaken by the CIA, my nemesis Dr. Vargas, or a girlfriend. That's a pretty exclusive club.

Real citation: "Girlfriend-ifying the boyfriend's room. He's going to get a surprise when he gets home. The drumkit stays though. For now."
(Nov. 19, 2009, Erin Van Der Meer, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ErinLVee/statuses/5880975369)

Made-up citation: "My bathtub could definitely use a solid girlfriend-ifying. Or a terrorist attack with anthrax. One or the other."

Friday, December 04, 2009

celebu-scum

noun. Scum that hit the big time--an inspiration to all the little scum out there.

Real citation: "@marthastewart - just another liberal caught doing insider trading. Same arrogance - different celebu-scum."
(Nov. 23, 2009, David Henderson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/TheGenuineDavid/statuses/6000582707)

Made-up citation: "I have no respect for scum-scum, but I will defile myself before celebu-scum. That's just how I was raised."

Thursday, December 03, 2009

snot-nose-ette

noun. A snot-nosed punk with feminine wiles.

Real citation: "Mise en scene... Little Jr. Snot-Nose & Snot-Nose-ette come to school... they breathe their germs all over Aegee..."
(Nov. 24, 2009, Robyn BaylorChamplin, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LadyRobyn/statuses/6016306047)

Made-up citation: "I may look like a merciless Viking marauder who eats orphans and bunnies, but on the inside, I'm just an adorable little snot-nose-ette."

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

fogey-osity

noun. A quality found in geezers, coots, grandpas--and, for some reason--Pinkerton the cat.

Real citation: "@MissCellany have them, have them. May I compound my fogey-osity further by also declaring it 'most excellent'? Thank you so much."
(Nov. 26, 2009, Rachael Beale, Twitter, http://twitter.com/FlossieTeacake/statuses/6094020947)

Made-up citation: "I'm not old yet, but I have plenty of fogey-osity. I even nuked my own lawn just to get the kids off it."

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

fan-muppet-tastic

adj. A kid-friendly version of fan-fucking-tastic.

Real citation: "@Messshy I've been chatting to Sharon Corr about it and RTed on youtube...*name drop* It's fan-muppet-tastic!!! Can't stop watching it! x"
(Nov. 27, 2009,
Andalucian Kitty, Twitter, http://twitter.com/AndalucianKitty/statuses/6125134250)

Made-up citation: "Kids today think Elmo is fan-muppet-tastic... But they don't know what I know. In the seventies, Elmo lived on coke and Satanism--and that was on a good day."