fuckwitface

noun. A handy word for the holiday season.

Real citation: "I haffff to use my fucking wrist to hold this thing on now because my hands are completely insubordinate and goodbye legs... sure we may want to bolt from this shitty store and at least out there they'll show a flicker of love for something (even if it's my dying FUCKING FLESH), show something not like stony McRockhard bitchassbitch vengeful fuckwitface here but my legs have officially peeeeaced out for good so"
(http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=96743078&blogID=187341561&MyToken=ed7157d5-159a-4308-9b88-1c58bacf0bf5)

Made-up citation: "When my teenage son called me a fuckwitface, I gave him kudos for creativity and an atomic wedgie for insubordination."

hosebeasty

adj. Though hos have replaced hosebeasts, historians find this adjective useful.

Real citation: “I really enjoyed everybody in In Her Shoes. I'd never read the book so I don't know how true they stayed to the story, but the three leads were all very good together. Cameron Diaz's character was so nasty and awful and lazy and moochy that I just couldn't even picture someone like that existing. For anyone who's read the book, is her character that hosebeasty?”
(IssieCol, Oct. 9. 2005, http://www.madnono.com/boards/showthread.php?s=dc124f6a419f6250c19f55d6e96ae168&threadid=50&perpage=20&pagenumber=15)

Made-up citation: "Is a hosebeast a female hoser? If so, hosebeastiness may be a Canadian export."

mind-firetruck

noun. A heroic-yet-euphemistic mindfuck.

Related terms: mindboink, mindfornicate, motherfiretrucker.

Real citation: "The Vatican tells the people to reproduce so that they remain in poverty and repressed and the vatican can continue to mind-FiretrUCK them. I like the some of the magickal aspects of Catholism. For example, the Catholics couldn't talk the Irish into doing away with the Goddess Brigit - so they made her into a Saint. Dah! The Pope and his Vatican Mafia are all full of that stuff that male cows leave in pasture land after eating a bunch of hay. Just my not so humble opinion."
(Lady Wyldbirch, Feb. 9, 2003, http://www.witchvox.com/wren/wn_detaila.html?id=6255&offset=0)

Made-up citation: "Operation Mind-firetruck is a new educational initiative for our nation's kindergartners. It is totally not evil."

ecto-kitty

noun. A scary, scary kitty with slime.

Real citation: "The only thing is that the tail is a little... off. But I decided that if I were an ecto kitty trying to pull myself together, I might not get everything in exactly the right place either."
("More Visits," http://www.spiritpics.net/MoreVisits.html)

Made-up citation: "I wonder if I'm allergic to ecto-kitties as well as the real thing."

non-squee-inducing

noun. Provoking no girlish squees of approval.

Real citation: "well those leather pants are hardly non squee inducing - I think his butt looks better in those leather pants"
(cancon, April 17, 2006, http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:ulvy5Qp1jrQJ:www.rockband.com/messageboard/topic.asp%3FTOPIC_ID%3D2432%26whichpage%3D28+%22non-squee-inducing%22&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1)

Made-up citation: "My wardrobe is non-squick-inducing and non-squee-inducing. It's just a bore."

jerkatoid

noun. A jerk with more syllables.

Real citation: "Timefishblue, maybe you should stop being such a JERKATOID"
(Squaw Fish, Aug. 2, 2005, http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:hHvYfKLus6YJ:67.19.160.202/~truthand/bb/viewtopic.php%3Fp%3D85785%26sid%3D37cc70484f1929a309d6a8f10aafe672+jerkatoid&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=2)

Made-up citation: "My inner jerkatoid is strong. Unfortunately, my inner Buddha is anorexic, depressed, and has tiny heart syndrome."

hematomeriffic

adj. Absobloody bloody.

Real citation: "Bulldog stands up quickly and punches her in the nose through the bar; she screams and falls down, dead, face all nasty and hematomeriffic."
(Jacob, "Hero," Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/articles/content/a12661/index-3.html)

Made-up citation: "'Hematomeriffic' is another word--like 'scum-sucking'--I hope isn't essential to my obituary."

differentyness

noun. This synonym for "diversity" never quite caught on.

Real citation: "And this is why we had no HPM for the last two days. Just look at all the differentyness!"
(RubberPiggy, June 11, 2005, http://piratemonkeys.proboards41.com/index.cgi?board=board&action=display&thread=1118492309)

Made-up citation: "I should've studied biodifferentyness instead of literature. I prefer monkeys to Shakespeare."

buttheadette

noun. A female-y form of butthead.

Real citation: "I'm so not, I'm a buttheadette today."
(bunny, Oct. 18, 2005, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.support.depression/msg/93570f6636137c67?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "When a butthead and buttheadette breed, the gene pool trembles and sheds a tear."

spoogebot

noun. Um, a delightful blend of all that's good and holy and spoogey and robotic?

Real citation: "I said I thought he was a spoogebot, but he was basically okay since he entertained me so much."
(orange shampoo, May 13, 2003, http://www.atforumz.com/archive/index.php/t-106483-p-56.html)

Made-up citation: "In the terrifying days ahead, nanobots and spoogebots will decide our fate, according to the AP wire."

nonfuckedupedness

noun. A big buoyant bucket of normality.

Real citation: "What would your personal philanthropic organization hope to achieve?
Nonfuckedupedness, through the careful and measured application of happy."
(Shades, http://www.consumating.com/profiles/Shades)

Made-up citation: "As we head home for the holidays, let's think happy thoughts of nonfuckedupedness that might distract us from our families."

ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-gay

adj. I'm guessing, pretty gay.

Real citation: "Hooray! You have to be pretty happy for the ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-gay John Paulk. He's found a new interest in life after stuffing up the lives of many other people."
(Greg, "'Ex-gay' John Paulk's exciting new career," Oct. 13, 2006, enuspride.blogspot.com/2006/10/ex-gay-john-paulks-exciting-new-career.html)

Made-up citation: "According to the Bible, being ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-gay is very naughty. Or totally righteous. One of the two."

un-dumbassify

verb. To perform the delicate reverse-lobotomization process.

Related terms: dumbassify, de-dumbassify, dumbassification, dedumbassification.

Real citation: "Chuck D offered props to the students for 'working to un-dumbassify yourselves,' encouraged students to broaden their horizons, and called for a greater emphasis on education in American culture, saying 'We need the information in the education to get as much repetition as the entertainment.'"
("Study in Contrasts," Feb. 25, 2006, Uncertain Principles, http://scienceblogs.com/principles/2006/02/study_in_contrasts.php)

Made-up citation: "Maybe if teachers were called un-dumbassifiers, they'd make more money."

fantardistically

adverb. When "tardly" just doesn't cover the amplitude of the tarditude.

Real citation: "Earth to Funked, I wasn't talking about the WHOLE tardnet. Just a very small corner that attracts bombardments from some fantardistically tardtacular tards - MrMultiplePersonalityDisorder, Voss, etc."
(AKSWulfe, Aug. 6, 2004, http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:9xU3v8coLSYJ:forums.checksix.net/archive/index.php%3Ft-2221.html+fantardistically&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1)

Made-up citation: "F-words to avoid when writing personal ads: 'fucknut,' 'fantardistically,' 'flaccid,' 'flatulent,' 'ferret-licking.'"

arch-dipshit

noun. A dipshit above all other dipshits. Kind of a dipshit role model.

Real citation: "It was an incident that propelled "Mean Jean" to the title of reigning arch-dipshit of the American polity, the favored punching bag of the Washington press hyenas and the best thing that happened to late night since Bill Clinton's cigar."
(Matt Taibbi, Nov. 1, 2006, "NATIONAL AFFAIRS: OHIO BURNING," Rolling Stone,
rollingstone.com/politics/story/12285739/national_affairs_ohio_burning/print)

Made-up citation: "The Pope appoints a select few arch-dipshits to keep the mini-dipshits in line."

non-orgasmitude

noun. No joy in groinville.

Real citation: “Men had ejaculated prematurely in record numbers, and an extremely high percentage of women had come so close, incredible close, viciously close to raging orgasms, bud had teetered on the brink and then tumbled back to the frustrated heat of non-orgasmitude.”
(Matt, “Margin of Error,” http://www.thetoplessreview.com/archives/margin_of_error.html)

Made-up citation: "'KLPD' is a term for male non-orgasmitude meaning, hilariously, 'trick or betrayal of an erect penis.'"

referendumologist

noun. A proud colleague of the journalistologist.

Real citation: "During the mid-term elections, there were multiple referendums in place to push voter turn-out. One of the more popular ones had to do with, of course, gay marriage. Arizona became the first state to reject a ban on gay marriage. Referendumologist Jason Jones briefly explained what this meant... People are more worried about the GOP taking another term than the idea of two guys humping in their neighborhood."
(The Daily Show, Nov. 13, 2006, http://www.thedailysearch.com/comedycentral.php)

Made-up citation: "The OED includes entries on the sciences of nothingology, dogology, and squalorology--but referendumologists continue to toil in obscurity like the heroes they are."

malcontenty

adj. Not too contenty.

Real citation: "The Target Powers That Be have taken me off the sales floor. My new assignment is as a part of the group known as Presentation. If today is any indication, Presentation involves getting up at five in the morning and then sharing a shift with the frightening malcontents they don't allow on the regular day shift because...well...they're too frightening and malcontenty."
(Michael, "Dirty Cynicism (or Not A 9/11 Post)," Nov. 9, 2006, Notes From a Darkened Room, http://nfadr.blogspot.com/2006/09/dirty-cynicism-or-not-911-post_11.html)

Made-up citation: "To deal with malcontenty elements in your classroom or death squad, use a firm voice and make plenty of eye contact."

ectoplasminess

noun. Like truthiness, but with less truth and more supernatural slime.

Real citation: "The ectoplasminess of the Dribblet is just...EEEEE."
(mentalfloss, May 18, http://kamil.slashcity.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=34159&sid=9e487c6519204e28e1fd312486767ce9)

Made-up citation: "The aspiring restaurateur should avoid words like 'ectoplasminess' and 'phlegm' when writing the menu."

fanboyette

noun. A geeky, fanatical retconner who likes boyish things but has feminine wiles.

Real citation: "Surely that would be fangirl, not fanboyette"
(Dessimat0r, Nov. 4, 2003, http://neowin.net/forum/lofiversion/index.php/t113116.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm looking for a family-values-licking, flying-eyeball-swallowing, filthy-dirty-compelling fanboyette. Must love goliath bird-eating spiders and cuddling."