Batshitistan

noun. The la-la-iest land of the looniest.

Related terms: batshit loony, batshit whacko, batshit insane, batshit nutty, batshit nutso, batshit-demented, super-batshit-insane, completely-fucking-batshit-insane, batshit-fucking-crazy, batshit-sounding, non-batshit, pre-batshit, anti-batshit, batshit loonball, holy batshit, batshittery, batcrap, batpoop.

Real citation: "For the Shi'ites in the south, strip them of all resources, cut them off from everyone, and let them have their batshit insane theocracy. Gradually, airlift in supplies to the people of Batshitistan so they can kick out the oppressive rulers when they get sick of them."
(Ice Hockey Players, Aug. 24, 2006, http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=497202&page=2)

Made-up citation: "As a sometimes resident of Batshitistan, I'm just happy I have a passport. Potato wing!"

skankitudinous

adj. When "skanky" just doesn't cover it.

Real citation: "OT: For those with Paradise Hotel withdrawals... Fox Reality is going to be airing Temptation Island (I think it's Season 2 or 3) beginning the week of 11/1. Obviously PH is the pinnacle of skankitudinous tv entertainment."
(Crankie, "Paradise Hotel," Oct. 24, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3093936&view=findpost&p=3844596)

Made-up citation: "Supposedly, skankitudinous Seattle sisters sip sake so serenely. Selah."

proctologistette

noun. A proctologist of the female-ier sex.

Related terms: proctologistess.

Real citation: "a future proctologistette???"
(zipperzap, Aug. 11, 2006, http://forums.gunbroker.com/post.asp?method=ReplyQuote&REPLY_ID=1493584&TOPIC_ID=
210331&FORUM_ID=4)

Made-up citation: "If my lovely daughter Emily grows up to be a proctologistette, I'll be so proud and barfed out."

sketchbally

adj. A balmier form of sketchitude. Er—make that ballsier. Damn you, spellcheck!

Related terms: sketchballish, non-sketchball.

Real citation: "Well my utmost apologies to anyone who actually reads the stuff on my web site.. no pictures to go along with tonight's blog. You know - I've had a lot on my mind this week. I think that I can credit that to the fact that I've been home sick most of the week. But none the less, I've had a lot on my mind. I'm convinced that God's timing in life, is pretty much just crazy. Not necessarilly crazy in a bad way, but it seems so sketchbally to me. (yes... I just said sketchbally...)"
(Chelsea, May 27, 2005, http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&FriendID=15886063&
amp;amp;amp;blogMonth=5&blogDate=27&blogYear=2005)

Made-up citation: "Dogs are often better than people at detecting sketchbally characters and half-eaten sandwiches."

crapcation

noun. A vacation that sucks mega monkey balls.

Related terms: mancation.

Real citation: "Aug. 12-15th, sporadic last visits (before crapcation)"
(Shadrax, Aug. 8, 2005, http://www.chulsang.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=433&sid=a481e3bcb20ef7b4baf098bf52c14de9)

Made-up citation: "My worst crapcation was probably a drive to Florida with some of the more loathsome fish in my gene pool. I was 10, and if my parents really loved me, they would have hit me with a sledgehammer instead."

biscuitwad

noun. Wads don't get any yummier.

Real citation: "Your face is the biggest laugh though I haven't seen a zombie make it in music yet, still it's early days for you yet. How about you try psychadelics and open your mind rather then poison your soul biscuitwad!"
(http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:RPoMqXBObEAJ:www.linqglobal.com/mdh/index.php%3F%26show%3D4+biscuitwad&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1)

Made-up citation: "Yes, you're a biscuitwad, Julian. But you're my biscuitwad."

turdbuffery

noun. They say you can't put lipstick on a pig, but apparently you can buff a turd.

Real citation: "If you *insist*... I would use a large lawnmower engine. In an extreme act of turdbuffery, the camshaft could be modified with extra lobes to open the intake and exhaust valves on *every* downstroke and upstroke (MIG or braze, and make a "pattern" with filecard stock to get the lobe shape fairly close with the grinder/file) and the neatest thing about this is that many lawnmower engines seem to already use NPT for the muffler attachment *anyway*"
(peejay, April 22, 2004, http://www.rx7club.com/forum/showthread.php?s=924860f93be657c29e530ade30b6365a&p=5571977#post5571977)

Made-up citation: "Even Mr. Turd Blossom Karl Rove doesn't have enough powers of turdbuffery to make this president shine."

schmoopiecakes

noun. Are you my schmoopiecakes? Are you my schmoopiecakes? Yes, yes you are!

Related terms: schmoopiepants, schmoopieface, schmoopiehead, schmoopie-poo, schmoopsie-poo, de-schmoopify.

Real citation: "She was really starting to look unhappy now. Poor schmoopiecakes!"
(mr. pseudostudent & pseudostudent, "How Swede It Is," http://www.tarflies.com/virtual/index.php?leg=3)

Made-up citation: "Many a schmoopiecakes--when called 'schmoopiecakes'--responds with a fork to the eyeball."

unfuckedupedness

noun. A sad state of non-drunken affairs.

Real citation: "The cat needed a broken tooth fixed. *fuckin cat* Normally I would have drowned my sorrows for a while then moved on, but it was winter.*fuckin snow* so there was no work,*fuckin work* which meant no money, which meant no booze.*fuckin unfuckedupedness*"
(Aug. 3, 2006, http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&FriendID=54338333&
amp;amp;amp;blogMonth=8&blogDate=3&blogYear=2006)

Made-up citation: "Professors at a local research university have uncovered new evidence that suggests 'unfuckedupedness' has a lot of syllables."

sentientish

adj. Doctor, we've created conscious life! Or a delicious new bagel.

Real citation: "Unnamed it might be, but it definitely had a purpose. Hmm, a sentientish sword? with a yen for a magic user to fulfill its grand plan? I'm loving this. Giles's mental state is spot on, and his interaction with Travers is distressingly realistic. Poor Grissom, he gets no love around there, does he?"
(houses7177, Dec. 5, 2004, http://elementalv.livejournal.com/114066.html)

Made-up citation: "A good head massage leaves me in a drooly, sentientish, puddle-like state of bliss."

buttholicious

adj. I'll go out on a limb and say "deliciously buttholey."

Real citation: "I'm loving it. JonorJoan is a new archetype for insanely determined, stubborn idiocy. He shall level mountains with mighty blows from his big, throbbing intellect. Jon, honey, you are seriously buttholicious, and let no-one tell you otherwise."
(Jed, Dec. 18, 2001, http://p083.ezboard.com/fpseudochainsawfrm7.showMessageRange?topicID=363.topic&start=141&stop=158)

Made-up citation: "Though their coffee is solid, Intelligentsia's name is pretentious, preposterous, and buttholicious. But if they redubbed themselves 'Buttholia,' I'd be a lifelong fan."

spermthrower

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non-oodles

noun. A metric zilchload.

Real citation: "You can get oodles of belts for non-oodles of money at Goodwill or other thrift shops."
("Rachel's guide to Renaissance Costuming for Badass Babes," http://www.warren-wilson.edu/~redidin/costuming.html)

Made-up citation: "'Non-oodles of Noodles' doesn't sound like a promising lunchtime destination for hungry Americans."

shitheadface

noun. A shithead squared.

Real citation: "I agree with sara you shitheadface! But anyhow whats up!?"
(A.DUCK, Aug. 20, 2006, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=53797465)

Made-up citation: "When dating, I constantly fear the emergence of my inner shitheadface--though I probably have an inner poopoobrain at worst."

tardocracy

noun. A special form of government.

Real citation: "Seriously, guys, this isn't a democracy. And to prevent it from becoming a tardocracy, I've selected moderators, who I trust to delete posts that have no value. So there."
(Jick, Jan. 27, 2003, http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/viewtopic.php?t=859&sid=36e863bb9debbad5c905db5108a0ff02)

Made-up citation: "Living in a tardocracy is annoying and dangerous, though I do enjoy Bowling Night."

kvetchitude

noun. Look deep into a complainer's cold walnut of a heart, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "It's also a good day to brush up on kvetchitude. For, y'see, summer is coming and one of my favorite activities is to get together with a friend or two, sip some homemade lemonade and/or drink some beer and just sit on the porch and bitch about stuff."
(Tuning Spork, April 23, 2005, http://blatherreview.mu.nu/archives/cat_i_got_nothin.html#077601)

Made-up citation: "When my kvetchitude reaches Costanza-like proportions, it's time to make a refreshing grain alcohol smoothie and relax."

post-beefgasm

adj. Mmm...post-coital beefy goodness.

Real citation: "In short, I've been comfortable. So comfortable I've bugger all to write about. Even now I sit here post-beefgasm (that exquisite sensation felt after ingesting 400+ grams of marinated char-grilled scotch fillet), quaffing a glass of Mr. Riggs Shiraz and tapping away at the keyboard over my ever-growing paunch."
(Robbie, Sept. 3, 2006, YMOTG, http://www.ymotg.com/permalink/all-apologies)

Made-up citation: "I haven't eaten beef in 15 years, so I don't know much about the post-beefgasm state. If it's anything like the happiness my dog finds in chewing on pig ears, I'll just stay ignorant, thank you."

deassify

verb. To make something less assy, especially a brain. Or a bathroom.

Real citation: "You are only going to defeat that kind of attack through intelligence, and our intelligence is completely lacking because of political bullshit, and myopia. Not having enough Arab language translators? That's a fixable problem, if only the politicans would deassify their heads."
(HaemishM, May 1, 2006, http://www.gameangst.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=7&pid=142&mode=threaded&show=&st=&)

Made-up citation: "The deassification of my bathtub will now commence."

batfuckery

noun. Batshittery meets bugfuckery in one loonballish nutburger.

Real citation: "What the fuck? This makes no sense. At all. Are you trying to say they called llamas horses? Because that's batfuckery."
(Surlethe, May 4, 2005, http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?p=1588470)

Made-up citation: "George Carlin says men have more stupidity and women have more batfuckery, but I'm not smart enough to know if this is true."

anti-milf

noun. The masses have spoken, and they do not want to do your mom.

Related terms: milf, non-milf, unmilf, milfitude, milfage, milfery, milfosity, milfy, milfish, milfishness, milfesque.

Real citation: "Pamela Anderson: The Anti-Milf"
(January 6, 2006, http://metadish.com/news/celebrities/pamela-anderson-the-antimilf.php)

Made-up citation: "Like the wacky neighbor and the stoic first officer, the anti-milf has been a TV staple since Christ was a cowboy."