Professor Fuckfacehead

noun. A title you don't even need to go to graduate school to acquire.

Real citation: "Off to Harbour Town for 18...someone please let professor fuckfacehead know, will ya?"
(Schlongy, Oct. 29, 2004, http://www.ubersite.com/m/50029)

Made-up citation: "Don't call me Professor Fuckfacehead again. I prefer Dr. Shitwadbrain."

brainsuckee

noun. Say bye-bye to mental matter! Possibly through a straw!

Related terms: admiree, anus lickee, avengee, ball lickee, beatifee, besmirchee, betrayee, bitee, burnee, car-jackee, clobberee, cock and ball torturee, complimentee, consumee, counselee, cradle-robee, crapee, crushee, decapitatee, disectee, disparagee, downsizee, excommunicatee, exorcisee, filmee, fist fuckee, floodee, Frenchee, gawkee, giftee, golden showeree, gropee, headee, impeachee, killee, kissee, lecturee, lickee, likee, litigatee, lustee, massagee, mindfuckee, moldee, molestee, moochee, motivatee, mugee, murderee, nursee, obsessee, oglee, peggee, pervee, pervertee, piercee, pimpee, pissee, poopee, predatee, promotee, purse-snatchee, regiftee, reprimandee, scoldee, shagee, shitee, skullfuckee, slashee, slobberee, smoochee, smotheree, sniffee, snitchee, spankee, stabee, stalkee, staree, theftee, toe-suckee, undressee, whackee, yoinkee.

Real citation: "You can either be the brainsucker or the brainsuckee."
(Keeton Harrington, "A Political Attack," http://www.1km1kt.net/fiction/political_attack.php)

Made-up citation: "During my horrid night in a youth hostel--a night of snoring, talking, turning on the lights, banging the doors, and squeaking the beds in a squick-like fashion--I would gladly have been the brainsuckee to any enterprising young surgeon with a vacuum cleaner and a dream."

special-forces-y

adj. Used to describe a man, woman, or child who might--all things being equal--go all special forces on your ass.

Real citation: "Quality stuff! Glad to see I'm not the only one who uses the darker suits. Me 'n' a few mates are considering black ones for next year. Y'know, sort of special forces-y. Good looking patches too"
(spandex wondermonkey, Nov. 14, 2003, http://64.233.187.104/search?q=cache:sHofvBJK0PYJ:www.gbprops.com/props_index.php/260++%22special-forces-y%22&hl=en&lr=lang_en)

Made-up citation: "Neither Ben nor Jerry--and not even a bald-headed chickenfucker--would sell ice cream named 'Special-forces-y Strawberry.'"

ewwwww-inspiring

present participle. Sweet holy monkey balls! That's gross.

Real citation: "I'd rather see Lindsay do the nasty with Coulson. Which would still be ewwwww-inspiring, but not so much."
(KMS, Jan. 19, 2004, http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.tv.soaps.abc/
msg/acb4edf41b4125e2?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of the ewwwww-inspiring, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the poo-poo of farmboys."

freakazoid-less

adj. It's hard to find a good freakazoid when you need one.

Real citation: "My bed [freakazoid-less!] is calling my name."
("Delete this and put your Sir Smellyass here. ," Jan. 14, 2004, http://www.swydm.com/blog.php?u=snakey&aw=2&am=1&ay=04)

Made-up citation: "I'll be investigating Chicago's neighborhoods this weekend to find the most freakazoid-less parts of town, the places I could raise a dog, a dog I shall call Mini-Me."

jailbaitdar

noun. A keen jailbait-detecting sense.

Related terms: gaydar, straightdar, bi-dar, hickdar, loserdar, boob-dar, penis-dar, big dick-dar, hair-dar, porn-dar, sex-dar, food-dar, sleep-dar, money dar, ho-dar, slut-dar, babe-dar, virgin-dar, hottie-dar, weirdo-dar, jerk-dar, moron-dar, dorkdar, skankdar, freak-dar, ass-dar, zombie-dar, Pretentious Club-going New York Assholedar, "someone is staring at my ass"-dar, “Jesus Freak” dar.

Real citation: "SHE’S FUCKING 16? jesus h fucking christ, i have a real problem with jailbaitdar."
(scentless, Feb. 28, 2004, http://dontlinkthis.com/archives/1068)

Made-up citation: "In a post-Olsen twins apocalypse, will anyone's jailbaitdar function?"

beat-them-to-death-with-a-brick-worthy

adj. A good word to describe my enemies, who shall remain nameless...and lifeless! Yee-haw!

Real citation: "Assholes. I usually don't bitch about this kind of thing, but, it's barely 9:00 and I've already begun to suffer two beat-them-to-death-with-a-brick-worthy clients."
(Doug Kochmanski, Aug. 19, 2004, http://www.dougkochmanski.com/may03/journal_lateaugust.htm)

Made-up citation: "Researchers at the University of Illinois have discovered that of all the penguins in the world, not even one is beat-them-to-death-with-a-brick-worthy--though five out of eleven researchers are."

cowbell-osity

noun. A rural racket that's rather revolting.

Real citation: "And look how many varieties of cowbells are available from Latin Percussion! A more commercial link than usual, but interesting to see the many variations of cowbell-osity."
(http://ookworld.com/linkalog/linkalog_jul_sep2001.html)

Made-up citation: "The Good Lord said, 'Let there be cowbell-osity,' and there was cowbell-osity. Soon after, Satan whacked the Good Lord in the back of the head with a shovel and burned the cowbell-ers alive, which greatly improved the quality of life for all concerned."

trou-droppage

noun. When the going gets weird, the pants go down.

Real citation: "Since you've made a tit of yourself with this latest bit of trou-droppage, you've done nothing but snivel and carry on about some vague, unspecified "rules" you imagine have been violated."
(Nov. 19, 2004, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.flame/msg/9910760f4dc8195e?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Tourists should note that the no trou-droppage zone is patrolled by a quartet of postal workers with weed-whackers and drinking problems."

sociopath-ish

adj. Well-adjusted, mild-mannered, issue-free, husband material? Not so much.

Real citation: "For all its sociopath-ish tendencies, the director seems intent on reminding us this is a cat first and foremost. Hence, “miaows” are dubbed onto the soundtrack EVERY TIME THE CAT IS IN SHOT. Plus when it is in a scene and not on camera, a few more cat-yelps are put on the soundtrack for good measure. This is equally annoying and hilarious."
(peppersinclaire, "One Mean Pussy," http://dvd.ciao.co.uk/Uninvited_The__Review_5403541/SortOrder/1?xid=38d04f0ef78310d0a44aeb4da19615fb3e)

Made-up citation: "According to the polls, nun-tipping is an increasingly popular hobby among the more sociopath-ish elements of society."

incest-tastic-ness

noun. You thought incest was best? Well, incest is fucking awesome! Whee!

Related terms: girl-tastic-ness, fat-tastic-ness, shit-tastic-ness, crap-tastic-ness, spiff-tastic-ness, drone-tastic-ness, freak-tastic-ness, awesome-tastic-ness, dork-tastic-ness, role-play-tastic-ness, snitch-tastic-ness, brat-tastic-ness, suck-tastic-ness, social-inept-tastic-ness, geek-tastic-ness, hyper-tastic-ness, war-tastic-ness, spas-tastic-ness, glitch-tastic-ness, ass-tastic-ness, frat-tastic-ness, yay-tastic-ness, retro-tastic-ness, jacket-sleeves-rolled-up-tastic-ness, fan-fucking-tastic-ness, fun-tacular-tastic-ness.

Real citation: "As for the P.Twins? I never made it to them, but they were a cool character even if their crazy incest-tastic-ness freaked me out...alot...Yeah, I saw the anime and they had an entire episode practically devoted to them and their backstory."
(PG-13, Nov. 2, 2003, http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:YPT2zyDCLrIJ:www.gamecombos.com/forums/printthread.php%3Fs%3D6c274b4757b30299fc8f9aae25138944%26threadid%3D12450+%22incest-tastic-ness%22&hl=en)

Made-up citation: "Some say incest-tastic-ness is wrong, but Mom always said, 'If you can't keep it in your pants, keep your entire nuclear family in an armed compound in New Mexico.'"

snuzzlewumpkins

noun. Poopieschlopkins! Honey-poopoo! Poopoo-poopoo!

Real citation: "Does Our Cuddly Little Snuzzlewumpkins Hate America?"
(Wonkette, Aug. 16, 2005, http://www.wonkette.com/politics/homeland-security/index.php#does-our-cuddly-little-snuzzlewumpkins-hate-america-117580)

Made-up citation: "If Bev has a girl, we're going to name her Snuzzlewumpkins, and if it's a boy, we'll name him Brick."

Searches that led some fine folks to this blog

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

intestinal gonaditude

noun. In a small, round word? Balls.

Related terms: testicular fortitude.

Real citation: "Of course, Mr. holier-than, in your heart, you know women's hoops is a snooze-o-rama but you just don't have the intestinal gonaditude to admit it publicly. I'll cut you some slack though because we all know courage doesn't flow naturally through the veins of P.Uers."
(Fishin Buddy, Jan. 17, 1994, http://groups-beta.google.com/group/rec.sport.basketball.college/
msg/f9d03998916736c0?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "My personal physician said I have severe intestinal gonaditude, so I'm either 1) quite flattered or 2) about to perish."

doorbell-palooza

noun. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dooooooooooooooooong.

Real citation: "Another doorbell, this time at the Cohens'. It's a doorbell-palooza, and it's the sweet, sweet music of realism -- a welcome score to any episode."
(Heathen, "The Dearly Beloved," page 3, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=112&story=8038&page=2&sort=&limit=)

Made-up citation: "A doorbell-palooza is acceptable on Halloween; otherwise, it's time to grab the grenade-launcher and go all Hunter S. Thompson on somebody's ass."

crap-diddly-crap-crap

adj. Really really totally craptastic, craptacular, or crapolicious.

Real citation: "My crap-diddly-crap-crap first version of H-A.com created in April 2004.I used MS Paint to make the top banner for it too. Ugh."
(Melissa Treglia, http://www.hellish-alchemy.com/index.php?past)

Made-up citation: "Buffalo, NY--to put it delicately--is a crap-diddly-crap-crap shithole. And it sucks rabbit poo too. And it likes it."

nanny-boinking

present participle. When a nanny is treated like a longtime personal secretary, this word is apropos.

Real citation: "Elsewhere, WENN claims that Sienna Miller, who was dropped from George Hickenlooper's Edie Sedgwick biopic "Factory Girl" for not being enough of a name, has won the Edie role back now that the scandal surrounding her nanny-boinking boyfriend has at least temporarily given her a light dusting of fame."
(The IFC Blog, http://ifcblog.ifctv.com/ifc_blog/2005/08/incoming_new_di.html)

Made-up citation: "On the day nanny-boinking becomes an Olympic sport, the gods of Olympus will smile. So will nanny-boinkers, nanny-boinkees, and HBO."

pecker-waggy

adj. Some wave the flag. Others wag the wang.

Real citation: "If this were indeed the right moment to finally expose the true identity of Mr. X, we could entertain you with details aplenty about pecker-waggy, booze-swilly scandal, for Mr. X, who isn't and never was Karl Rove or Steve Pool or Kathi Goertzen, has allegedly been swilling the booze and wagging the pecker at pseudo-willing and mostly gay men in pseudo-salacious and mostly gay circumstances since the peckers and the booze and the gays were invented."
(Adrian Ryan, "Burning Plastic - You want to fuck a newscaster?," Aug. 11, 2005, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=22583)

Made-up citation: "Correlation does not imply causation, but recent studies show that my pecker-wagginess on Thursday should be entirely blamed on the bucket of booze and plate of crack."

newscasterette

noun. A newscaster female-ier than Dan Rather.

Related terms: anchorette.

Real citation: "So I turn on the TV for some news -- in this case, it happened to be an MSNBC news spot. I see Mo Rocca and some purely-for-window-dressing, inarticulate, perky-cutesy newscasterette discussing -- of all things!! -- Mariah Carey's recent insistence that Glitter was intentionally treated with undue severity by film critics in order to distract America from 9/11, and whether Glitter was actually "a film ahead of its time." This verbal diarrhea went on for five minutes. WTH?"
(Old Oligarch, July 15, 2005, http://old-oligarch.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_old-oligarch_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "According to the Handbook of Gender-free Language, 'newscasterette' is preferable to 'news ho.'"

Mr. Horse Fuckee

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.