noun. Apathy. Zen. Whatev.
Related terms: could-give-a-fuckness, couldn't-give-a-fuckness, don’t-give-a-fuckness, give-a-fuckness, I-don't-give-a-fuckness, non-give-a-fuckness.
Real citation: "So, best usage goes to Snoop Dogg for the sheer I-really-couldn't-give-a-fuckness of it, second to Green Day for being cheeky but sincere, third place goes to elderly blonde Madonna who at least gets sympathy points for getting caught up in the Dogg/Razorlight roll."
(Rowan, "Soil the Beeb," July 3, 2002, Jet Set Web Blog, http://www.jetsetweblog.com/_ablog.php?month=7&year=2005&neuron=4)
Made-up citation: "When you feel someone is heaven-on-a-biscuit, but you feel like crap-on-cracker, it's hard to project a suave aura of I-really-couldn't-give-a-fuckness."
Friday, March 31, 2006
non-quailtard-shaped
adj. Not even slightly resembling a bird with low SAT scores and a poorly constructed nest.
Real citation: "Yes, there's plenty of non-quailtard-shaped targets to blast at. You got your cartoon riots, your winter Olympics with not enough brothers in it, your Filipino mudslide (which, despite what you might have heard, is neither a sex act NOR a dessert at TGI McScratchy's). People are even stealing prosthetic legs. Oh, and Dick Cheney shot some geezer in the fucking face!"
(CK, "About Time," Feb. 17, 2006, tubesocket, http://tubesocket.tv/archive/2006_02_12_archive.html)
Made-up citation: "Whether designing birthday cakes or dildoes, non-quailtard-shaped is a good way to go."
Real citation: "Yes, there's plenty of non-quailtard-shaped targets to blast at. You got your cartoon riots, your winter Olympics with not enough brothers in it, your Filipino mudslide (which, despite what you might have heard, is neither a sex act NOR a dessert at TGI McScratchy's). People are even stealing prosthetic legs. Oh, and Dick Cheney shot some geezer in the fucking face!"
(CK, "About Time," Feb. 17, 2006, tubesocket, http://tubesocket.tv/archive/2006_02_12_archive.html)
Made-up citation: "Whether designing birthday cakes or dildoes, non-quailtard-shaped is a good way to go."
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
emotional fuckbuddy
noun. A near and dear lustbunny of a non-groiny nature.
Real citation: "I'm kind of glad McDreamy and Meredith are trying the friendship angle. They've been physical fuckbuddies and emotional fuckbuddies, but they haven't just been there with one another. It could be very telling as to where their relationship goes."
(jopatura, "2-20: "What Have I Done To Deserve This" 2006.02.26," Feb. 26, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3136209&view=findpost&p=4617282)
Made-up citation: "Like saber-toothed rabbits, emotional fuckbuddies are seldom seen in the wild. But they do exist, dear readers."
Real citation: "I'm kind of glad McDreamy and Meredith are trying the friendship angle. They've been physical fuckbuddies and emotional fuckbuddies, but they haven't just been there with one another. It could be very telling as to where their relationship goes."
(jopatura, "2-20: "What Have I Done To Deserve This" 2006.02.26," Feb. 26, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3136209&view=findpost&p=4617282)
Made-up citation: "Like saber-toothed rabbits, emotional fuckbuddies are seldom seen in the wild. But they do exist, dear readers."
buttockial region
noun. Smells like ass. Tastes like ass. It's ass.
Related terms: buttockal region.
Real citation: "Kiss my Buttockial region. Love, Rahn"
(http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Odd%20Pics%202/BugReplies.html)
Made-up citation: "For proctologists, a deep and abiding love of the buttockial region begins in childhood."
Related terms: buttockal region.
Real citation: "Kiss my Buttockial region. Love, Rahn"
(http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Odd%20Pics%202/BugReplies.html)
Made-up citation: "For proctologists, a deep and abiding love of the buttockial region begins in childhood."
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
stroke one's schooner
idiom. Mmm...one's schooner.
Real citation: "Oh, hi! You caught me stroking my schooner."
(Stephen Colbert, March 20, 2006, The Colbert Report)
Made-up citation: "Stroking the schooner, like waxing the dolphin, is a fine naval activity."
Real citation: "Oh, hi! You caught me stroking my schooner."
(Stephen Colbert, March 20, 2006, The Colbert Report)
Made-up citation: "Stroking the schooner, like waxing the dolphin, is a fine naval activity."
make a naughty
idiom. Defe-fuckin'-cation, folks.
Related terms: make a no-no.
Real citation: "Yes, it is a bit much for Don Imus to have a sudden attack of Emily Post and start grouching about the political comments chestily flown at Coretta Scott King's funeral service in the presence of President Bush and his lovely wife Rita. Racial enlightment has never been a shining hallmark of the Imus show, from the verbal blackface of their Sambo caricatures of black celebrities to Sid Rosenberg's infamous dig at the Williams sisters to Imus's own use of the 'n' word, which he first denied, then admitted sheepishly, as if he had been caught making a naughty.*"
(James Wolcott, Feb. 8, 2006, http://jameswolcott.com/archives/2006/02/appeasing_the_g.php)
Made-up citation: "I'm planning on getting a puppy, so I'd better prepare myself--mentally and cleaning-product-wise--for the first time he makes a naughty on the carpet."
Related terms: make a no-no.
Real citation: "Yes, it is a bit much for Don Imus to have a sudden attack of Emily Post and start grouching about the political comments chestily flown at Coretta Scott King's funeral service in the presence of President Bush and his lovely wife Rita. Racial enlightment has never been a shining hallmark of the Imus show, from the verbal blackface of their Sambo caricatures of black celebrities to Sid Rosenberg's infamous dig at the Williams sisters to Imus's own use of the 'n' word, which he first denied, then admitted sheepishly, as if he had been caught making a naughty.*"
(James Wolcott, Feb. 8, 2006, http://jameswolcott.com/archives/2006/02/appeasing_the_g.php)
Made-up citation: "I'm planning on getting a puppy, so I'd better prepare myself--mentally and cleaning-product-wise--for the first time he makes a naughty on the carpet."
Monday, March 27, 2006
evilholic
noun. Evil is so addictive. And minty.
Real citation: "Another analogy is that he's like a evilholic, he has an addiction to evil."
(Ken, Feb. 12, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer/msg/4bff9a3373a4e2e8)
Made-up citation: "Not every evildoer is an evil genius, just as not every evil genius is an evilholic. Not even every bowl of pea soup is evil, according to paleontologists at a local research university."
Real citation: "Another analogy is that he's like a evilholic, he has an addiction to evil."
(Ken, Feb. 12, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer/msg/4bff9a3373a4e2e8)
Made-up citation: "Not every evildoer is an evil genius, just as not every evil genius is an evilholic. Not even every bowl of pea soup is evil, according to paleontologists at a local research university."
boohooage
noun. Wah. Waaaaaaaahhh! Waah.
Real citation: "Hootie and the Blowjob drowned in their own tears after a dolphin made them cry. According to police reports, the aquatic mammal's bottlenose was mistaken for a penis and the impending "Eek eek!" scared the bejesus out of the band, setting off a deluge of boohooage. The porpoise of the sudden outburst is still unknown, but it is thought that lead vocalist Darius Rucker may have failed to cover his teeth."
(coldpizza, Feb. 6, 2006, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=16239904)
Made-up citation: "Did the demise of South Park's Chef or The Shield's Lemonhead cause more boohooage in your diocese, Father?"
Real citation: "Hootie and the Blowjob drowned in their own tears after a dolphin made them cry. According to police reports, the aquatic mammal's bottlenose was mistaken for a penis and the impending "Eek eek!" scared the bejesus out of the band, setting off a deluge of boohooage. The porpoise of the sudden outburst is still unknown, but it is thought that lead vocalist Darius Rucker may have failed to cover his teeth."
(coldpizza, Feb. 6, 2006, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=16239904)
Made-up citation: "Did the demise of South Park's Chef or The Shield's Lemonhead cause more boohooage in your diocese, Father?"
Friday, March 24, 2006
dooky-wipe
noun. A close (possibly inbred) relative of the shitstain.
Related terms: asswipe, buttwipe, fuckwipe, shitwipe.
Real citation: "Will they kill each other? PROBABLY. And it's all because YOU can't be satisfied with a bunch of nice people talking about nice things, or TV columnists who don't use the word "dooky-wipes." YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED."
(William Steven Humphrey, "I Love TV," March 16, 2006, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=31153)
Made-up citation: "The upcoming biography Dooky-Wipe-in-Chief: Portrait of President Short Bus will be made into a movie featuring Will Ferrell. In my dreams."
Related terms: asswipe, buttwipe, fuckwipe, shitwipe.
Real citation: "Will they kill each other? PROBABLY. And it's all because YOU can't be satisfied with a bunch of nice people talking about nice things, or TV columnists who don't use the word "dooky-wipes." YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED."
(William Steven Humphrey, "I Love TV," March 16, 2006, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=31153)
Made-up citation: "The upcoming biography Dooky-Wipe-in-Chief: Portrait of President Short Bus will be made into a movie featuring Will Ferrell. In my dreams."
pregitude
noun. Somebody got knocked up.
Real citation: "Update on various pop cultural impressions. (I'm still encountering incidences of pregitude with alarming regularity.)"
(belsum, April 4, 2005, Knocked Up, http://belsum.blogspot.com/2005_04_01_belsum_archive.html)
Made-up citation: "Do the perils of pregitude outweigh the joys of childbirth? Depends how much you want some crotchfruit."
Real citation: "Update on various pop cultural impressions. (I'm still encountering incidences of pregitude with alarming regularity.)"
(belsum, April 4, 2005, Knocked Up, http://belsum.blogspot.com/2005_04_01_belsum_archive.html)
Made-up citation: "Do the perils of pregitude outweigh the joys of childbirth? Depends how much you want some crotchfruit."
Thursday, March 23, 2006
geishariffic
adj. Terrifically teeming with geisha-y goodness.
Real citation: "The day my geisha arrives on my doorstep I feel, in a word, geishariffic!"
(Rock Stoeckel, "My Memoirs of a Geisha," March 9, 2006, McSweeney's, http://mcsweeneys.net/2006/3/9stoeckel.html)
Made-up citation: "Gazillions of geishariffic girls get government grants! Golly!"
Real citation: "The day my geisha arrives on my doorstep I feel, in a word, geishariffic!"
(Rock Stoeckel, "My Memoirs of a Geisha," March 9, 2006, McSweeney's, http://mcsweeneys.net/2006/3/9stoeckel.html)
Made-up citation: "Gazillions of geishariffic girls get government grants! Golly!"
boneresque
adj. All boners are equal in the va-jay-jay of the Lord. They're all equally boneresque too.
Real citation: "Here is the boneresque Washington Monument."
(abhorrancethrash.com/abhorrance/images/tour/2003SUM/DC-WashMon1.html)
Made-up citation: "Zoologists agree that the animal kingdom can be divided into boneresque and non-boneresque creatures. Naked mole rats are prominent members of the first category."
Real citation: "Here is the boneresque Washington Monument."
(abhorrancethrash.com/abhorrance/images/tour/2003SUM/DC-WashMon1.html)
Made-up citation: "Zoologists agree that the animal kingdom can be divided into boneresque and non-boneresque creatures. Naked mole rats are prominent members of the first category."
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
defribrohooziewhatsit
noun. A cardiologist's handy thingy.
Real citation: "Room of Magical Heart Patients and the Doctors Who Love Them. Denny's heart is beating too fast; they have to slow it down. Alex and Izzie attend to Denny as Burke calls out orders. He wants them to try a synchronized defribrohooziewhatsit."
(Erin Dailey, "What Have I Done to Deserve This?," page 6, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=162&story=8904&page=6&sort=&limit=)
Made-up citation: "I had heart surgery for an atrial septic defect when I was 8, but I've blocked out memories of any defribrohooziewhatsit action."
Real citation: "Room of Magical Heart Patients and the Doctors Who Love Them. Denny's heart is beating too fast; they have to slow it down. Alex and Izzie attend to Denny as Burke calls out orders. He wants them to try a synchronized defribrohooziewhatsit."
(Erin Dailey, "What Have I Done to Deserve This?," page 6, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=162&story=8904&page=6&sort=&limit=)
Made-up citation: "I had heart surgery for an atrial septic defect when I was 8, but I've blocked out memories of any defribrohooziewhatsit action."
non-stalky-creepy
adj. Totally not deserving of having nuts chopped off.
Real citation: "I love the idea of looking at a bookstore; if you could do it in a non-stalky-creepy way"
(Pomeranian, March 15, 2001, http://surveycentral.org/?x=x&V=7420)
Made-up citation: "My mother always said, 'Non-stalky-creepy doesn't mean non-prosecutable.'"
Real citation: "I love the idea of looking at a bookstore; if you could do it in a non-stalky-creepy way"
(Pomeranian, March 15, 2001, http://surveycentral.org/?x=x&V=7420)
Made-up citation: "My mother always said, 'Non-stalky-creepy doesn't mean non-prosecutable.'"
Friday, March 17, 2006
fishmongerette
noun. A fishmonger with feminine charms, wiles, and fish.
Real citation: “I met G while out shopping this morning, at an upmarket food emporium where he often shops (I was buying coffee beans). We chatted a while, eventually arriving at the fresh-fish counter where the fishmongerette greeted him by name. G ordered a dozen oysters.”
(Udge, “On buying oysters,” Sept. 18, 2004, http://udgewink.blogspot.com/2004/09/on-buying-oysters.html)
Made-up citations: "Can a fishmongerette be a vegan? Further research is needed."
Real citation: “I met G while out shopping this morning, at an upmarket food emporium where he often shops (I was buying coffee beans). We chatted a while, eventually arriving at the fresh-fish counter where the fishmongerette greeted him by name. G ordered a dozen oysters.”
(Udge, “On buying oysters,” Sept. 18, 2004, http://udgewink.blogspot.com/2004/09/on-buying-oysters.html)
Made-up citations: "Can a fishmongerette be a vegan? Further research is needed."
horsecest
noun. Conjugalicious relations with a horse, resulting in romance or death.
Related terms: cousincest, dormcest, dogcest, floorcest, horsecest, housecest, momcest, siblingcest.
Real citation: "eww, horsecest."
(Lyvianus, June 6, 2005, http://yaoi.y-gallery.net/comment/164119/)
Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'The snorting of his horsecest was heard from Dan: the whole land trembled at the sound of the neighing of his strong ones; for they are come, and have devoured the land, and all that is in it; the city, and those that dwell therein.'"
Related terms: cousincest, dormcest, dogcest, floorcest, horsecest, housecest, momcest, siblingcest.
Real citation: "eww, horsecest."
(Lyvianus, June 6, 2005, http://yaoi.y-gallery.net/comment/164119/)
Made-up citation: "As the Bible says, 'The snorting of his horsecest was heard from Dan: the whole land trembled at the sound of the neighing of his strong ones; for they are come, and have devoured the land, and all that is in it; the city, and those that dwell therein.'"
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
pole-up-buttedness
noun. This involves no pole of romance--only an intrusive javelin of high-strung, uptight priggery.
Related terms: bad-buttedness, bare-buttedness, big-buttedness, blubber-buttedness, broad-buttedness, bubble-buttedness, cake-buttedness, cute-buttedness, dumb-buttedness, fat-buttedness, fuzzy-buttedness, his-royal-monkey-buttedness, iron-buttedness, kick-buttedness, large-buttedness, non-fuzzy-buttedness, pain-in-the-buttedness, pig-buttedness, pucker-buttedness, stick-up-the-buttedness, suck-buttedness, tight-buttedness, whiny-buttedness.
Real citation: "i was probably laughing as a reaction and statement about the pole-up-buttedness of the proceedings, but perhaps that's mostly knee-jerk and adolescent."
(March 30, 1998, http://www.links.net/daze/98/03/30/)
Made-up citation: "Though not listed in the DMS-IV, pole-up-buttedness is all too real and painful."
Related terms: bad-buttedness, bare-buttedness, big-buttedness, blubber-buttedness, broad-buttedness, bubble-buttedness, cake-buttedness, cute-buttedness, dumb-buttedness, fat-buttedness, fuzzy-buttedness, his-royal-monkey-buttedness, iron-buttedness, kick-buttedness, large-buttedness, non-fuzzy-buttedness, pain-in-the-buttedness, pig-buttedness, pucker-buttedness, stick-up-the-buttedness, suck-buttedness, tight-buttedness, whiny-buttedness.
Real citation: "i was probably laughing as a reaction and statement about the pole-up-buttedness of the proceedings, but perhaps that's mostly knee-jerk and adolescent."
(March 30, 1998, http://www.links.net/daze/98/03/30/)
Made-up citation: "Though not listed in the DMS-IV, pole-up-buttedness is all too real and painful."
bedpanish
adj. Bedpan-y; bedpanesque; semi-bedpan-like.
Real citation: "Not really, most helmets don't have that wrap-around portion at the cheeks; that's what makes it truly look bedpanish..."
(Snake, Jan. 7, 2004, http://www.tfarchive.com/community/showthread.php?s=a46647661be1d6d953d8b180b12fcafc&threadid=
20281&perpage=30&pagenumber=3)
Made-up citation: "Now it is I who have the advantage, my bedpanish friend!"
Real citation: "Not really, most helmets don't have that wrap-around portion at the cheeks; that's what makes it truly look bedpanish..."
(Snake, Jan. 7, 2004, http://www.tfarchive.com/community/showthread.php?s=a46647661be1d6d953d8b180b12fcafc&threadid=
20281&perpage=30&pagenumber=3)
Made-up citation: "Now it is I who have the advantage, my bedpanish friend!"
Monday, March 13, 2006
fucknut magnet
noun. Someone with a powerful and frustrating fucknut-attracting quality.
Related terms: nutjob magnet, wingnut magnet, loser magnet, asshat magnet, asshole magnet, doofus magnet, dork magnet, dumbass magnet, skank magnet, ho magnet, bad kisser magnet, neanderthal magnet.
Real citation: "Yes, I'm a fucknut magnet. (Pssst...must be pissing tilUgetLaid off again. LMFAO!)"
(Debbie, Nov. 26, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/z-netz.alt.wichtig/msg/513eae90f0cc8aa6?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "If I were a fucknut magnet, I'd have to carry a crowbar or big can of Raid at all times. I have little tolerance for fucknuttery."
Related terms: nutjob magnet, wingnut magnet, loser magnet, asshat magnet, asshole magnet, doofus magnet, dork magnet, dumbass magnet, skank magnet, ho magnet, bad kisser magnet, neanderthal magnet.
Real citation: "Yes, I'm a fucknut magnet. (Pssst...must be pissing tilUgetLaid off again. LMFAO!)"
(Debbie, Nov. 26, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/z-netz.alt.wichtig/msg/513eae90f0cc8aa6?hl=en&)
Made-up citation: "If I were a fucknut magnet, I'd have to carry a crowbar or big can of Raid at all times. I have little tolerance for fucknuttery."
wanna-matricide
noun. A mommy-murder that is soooo sub-par and probably takes place on the FX network, where dirty plastic surgeons and dirty cops frolic and play dirty reindeer games.
Real citation: "What extra-special irked me about Julia's wanna-matricide is that while yes, I do agree that in many ways, it could be an act of mercy (someone so appearance-oriented as her mum would NEVER want to live life as a krispy kritter), Julia seemed to be deciding Erica's worth in the world was totally based on her own need/non-need for her."
(kattart, "Nip/Tuck," Dec. 7, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=2864952&view=findpost&p=4117822)
Made-up citation: "According to the Bible, even a wanna-matricide is a no-no."
Real citation: "What extra-special irked me about Julia's wanna-matricide is that while yes, I do agree that in many ways, it could be an act of mercy (someone so appearance-oriented as her mum would NEVER want to live life as a krispy kritter), Julia seemed to be deciding Erica's worth in the world was totally based on her own need/non-need for her."
(kattart, "Nip/Tuck," Dec. 7, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=2864952&view=findpost&p=4117822)
Made-up citation: "According to the Bible, even a wanna-matricide is a no-no."
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