make a no-no

idiom. Lay an egg; drop the bomb; take a shit.

Real citation: "After a commercial break during which "Tension" makes a no-no on the living room carpet and slinks off to a corner whimpering, we return to Syd waiting and guards stalking. Seriously, that's it. Of course, they find her, and ass-kicking ensues. It's all Jennifer Garner, however, so that's pretty cool. But the entire scene leading up to the ass-kicking was more boring than watching paint dry on the back of a dead cockroach"
(Erin, "The Passage, Part One," Page 9, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=75&story=4267&page=9&sort=&limit=)

Made-up citation: "Coffee in the a.m. makes me make a no-no quicker than I can say, 'Jesus holy shit Christ!'"

limp chimp

noun. Impotent dude (though I guess you could figure out the "dude" part).

Real citation: "Fourth, go back to your psychopharmacologist, have him adjust your dosages and while you’re there, make him give you an ’script for Viagra, Cialis or some other erectile dysfunction drug. With all the pharmaceutical phallus-firmers cluttering the shelves these days, there’s absolutely no reason for anybody to be a limp chimp."
(Judy McGuire, New York Press, http://www.nypress.com/17/7/news&columns/date.cfm)

Made-up citation: "There's a big difference between a limp chimp and a wimp pimp with a gimp. Or is there?"

non-meepitude

noun. 1. A complete lack of meep-oriented activity. 2. Sweet merciful monkey balls, I have no idea.

Real citation: “When you sent out a call for helpers originally I was still in the 'eek, there will be people there, so I'd best not go' mood; now I'm feeling somewhat more sociable I have my day already arranged. Poot, I say. I'd be up for a group Science Museum trip though (assuming continuation of current non-meepitude).”
(gnimmel, Oct. 11, 2003, Livejournal, http://www.livejournal.com/users/gnimmel/52229.html)

Made-up citation: "How many Sylvia Plath poems rhyme 'non-meepitude' with 'mega-creepitude'?"

non-schmuckish

adj. Unschmucklike.

Related terms: schmuckitude, schmuckage, schmuckosity, schmuckbag, schmuckface, schmuckhead, schmucko, absoschmuckinglutely.

Real citation: "For the rest of you...I guess I'm recommending you use Travelocity, since they seem to be kinda non-schmuckish."
(wileemorgana, April 10, 2003, The Inner Workings of Nick "Naraht" Frame, http://www.livejournal.com/users/naraht/2003/04/10/)

Made-up citation: "On my most non-schmuckish day, I'm still pretty much a putz."

loinage

noun. Groinage.

Real citation: "Tell me I don't turn you on. Tell me I don't make your loinage rumble just a wee smidge. Oh no? Really?"
(the Hun, "casual luxe," Dec. 30, 2004, Isabella Wunder, http://isabellawunder.blogspot.com/2004_12_01_
isabellawunder_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "'Strangulated testicle' is a bad loinage problem and a good band name."

bum-flappiest

adj. Embarrassing and bold in an exposed tushie kind of way.

Real citation: "So, final tally: LAMB has one mega-hit, one okay song, three stillborns, and seven full-fledged embarrassments. For Stefani, fashion has officially come first; to her credit, these songs are the slickest, shiniest, bum-flappiest failures of the year."
(Nick Sylvester, "Gwen Stefani: Love Angel Music Baby," Nov. 24, 2004, http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/s/stefani_gwen/love-angel-music-baby.shtml)

Made-up citation: "I don't usually contradict my citations, but the Gwen Stefani CD is extremely swell and non-bum-flappy in my opinion. Harumph."

su-diddly-fucking-uck

verb. Suck--with a little diddly and a lot of fucking, just for emphasis.

Also: su-diddly-uck, su-diddly-suck, suc-uhk-diddly-uck, suck-diddly-uck, suh-diddly-uck, yuck-diddly-uck, diddly fucking squat, diddly fucking shit, diddly fucking doodie, yee diddly fucking ha, tee diddly fucking hee, whoop-diddly-fucking-doo, ho diddly fucking ho ho, jack diddly fucking shit, scrum-diddly-fucking-umptious.

Real citation: "Damn, did this episode su-diddly-fucking-UCK!"
(Harrison Fjord, "3-7: "Magnetic" 2003.11.12," Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3112993&view=findpost&p=662019)

Made-up citation: "Which word is the most redundant: "su-diddly-fucking-uck," "motherfuckingfucker," or "cock-a-diddly-ding-dong-doo-doo"?

ultra-zoomy

adj. Quite fast.

Real citation: "In the movie I, Robot, Will Smith drives his ultra-zoomy sports car up to a parking ramp."
(Gregg Easterbrook, "Load your muskets for the Democracy Bowl, and why "safe" strategy isn't safe," Jan. 25, 2005, http://www.superbowl.com/news/story/8132369)

Made-up citation: "Speedy Gonzalez is the ultra-zoomiest cartoon character of them all, but he just doesn't have the sex drive of Pepe Le Pew."

teen Christian-porn pop

noun. A genre of teen-oriented pop music with equal parts Christian moral uprightness and sticky, porny downlowness.

Real citation: "Is it just us, or is Ashlee Simpson's 'La La' a total masterpiece of teen Christian-porn pop? Ok, it's probably just us. But the Acid Reflux Queen did one of the most memorable live TV gigs in history at the Orange Bowl in Miami on January 4th, screeching 'La La' like Geddy Lee getting a nipple twister from pliers-wielding polar bears."
("Ashlee's Nightmare," Rolling Stone, Issue 966, Jan. 27, 2005)

Made-up citation: "My new band is a spunky mix of teen Christian-porn pop, William Shatner, and angry parakeets."

asshatastic

adj. Fantastically asshatty.

Related terms: asshat, asshattery, asshattitude, asshatish, asshatesque, asshatfest, asshatful, asshatless, asshatted, asshattedness, uber-asshat, mega-asshat, super-asshat, non-asshat, Admiral Asshat.

Real citation: "....wait, Angelina Jolie has a long resume of starring in asshatastic films, too. but her voice does not sound like five testicles, either. "
(El Grego, http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/archive/index.php/t-317593)

Made-up citation: "The most asshatastic thing I've done lately was wear two different shoes to work. Or was that just doofus-like?"

buzz shackle

noun. Buzzkill; bringdown; mellow-harsher.

Also: shackle one's buzz, buzz-shackler.

Real citation: "Personally, exhaust in my lungs is a big fat buzz shackle no matter the end goal."
(Thrashador, Oct. 14, 2003, http://www.cascadeclimbers.com/threadz/printthread.php?Board=UBB7&main=256693&type=post)

Made-up citation: "My fouled-up computer isn't just unreliable and ready for the scrap heap (and the chainsaw)--it's a major league buzz shackle."

kneejerkery

noun. Kneejerk-type behavior, with an emphasis on "jerk-off."

Real citation: "This is not random speculation. This is not incoherent antireligion kneejerkery. This is cold hard fact, just like the fact that I kick ass."
(Imp, May 16, 2001, http://www.stepzero.org/forum/view.pl?1004)

Made-up citation: "'Kneejerkery' almost rhymes with 'beef jerky.'"

poopsome

adj. Literally full of shit.

Related words: freaksome, dollsome, fucksome, yucksome, cuddlesome, skanksome, icksome, squeesome.

Real citation: "6:45 p.m. A potentially poopsome pooch was warned off the Plaza."
(Kevin L. Hoover, "He needed somewhat more pants than that," The Arcata Eye, http://www.arcataeye.com/police/040809police.shtml)

Made-up citation: "When I get that painful poopsome feeling, I know it's time to lay an egg."

nannylicious

adj. Sexy in a nummy nanny way.

Real citation: "It hasn't been a good week for Tiger Woods. First, he lost his No. 1 ranking to Vijay Singh. Now, there are reports that his engagement to nannylicious Elin Nordegren is on the rocks. Rumor has it that Elin balked at wearing that Nike wedding gown. She was afraid it would slice open."
(Michael Bradley, "Don't expect Eagles to soar," SI.com, http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/writers/
michael_bradley/09/09/eagles.problems/)

Made-up citation: "According to The Guide to Better Business Writing, one must always avoid words like "nannylicious" and "ho-tacular" in interoffice memos."

slurpitude

noun. A metric buttload of slurpy activity.

Related terms: slurpage.

Real citation: “I have a deep respect for anyone who has spent the time to decode this phenomenon. I tried it several times and even when I found them in full slurpitude I ended up doing better waiting for the tide to start ebbing and swinging a fly in the wake of some structure where the fish were grabbing worms in the current. The flat calm slurpers had me pulling my hair out.”
(juro, May 10, 2004, Flyfishing Forum, http://www.flyfishingforum.com/flytalk4/showthread.php?t=15871)

Made-up citation: "I've never been accused of moral slurpitude, but I'd like to be."

post-nipslip

adj. This describes the fragile historical period immediately following an unintentional instance of peek-a-boob.

Related terms: nip slip, nip-slipper, nipple slip, nipplage, nipplage slippage, nippage slippage, post-Janet-Jackson's-breast, breastgate, boobgate, breast fest, boob slip, boob-unveiling, boob-slippage, peek-a-boobie, boob blunder, mammary meltdown.

Real citation: "We don't WANT to focus on Tara Reid, but she keeps us so very occupied. In this fat edition, a post-nipslip Tara goes apeshit on a bystander."
("Gawker Stalker: Tara Reid Lashes Out," Nov. 8, 2004, Gawker, http://www.gawker.com/topic/gawker-stalker-tara-reid-lashes-out-025181.php)

Made-up citation: "Not many of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's sonnets rhyme "post-nipslip" with "Toast! Pip pip!"

leg-humpage

noun. Old-fashioned, all-American, Biblically-mandated leg-humping.

Related terms: chest-thrustage, butt-lickage, ass-kissage, butt leakage, toe suckage, finger suckage, self-wettage, self-fuckage, wig lumpage.

Real citation: "I require leg humpage anytime I go above and beyond. :eek: :eek:"
(NetxMan, Oct. 31, 2003, http://www.hosthideout.com/archive/index.php/t-4673.html)

Made-up citation: "Leg-humpage, floor-crapage, and mailman-chompage are three hazards of dog ownership."

come-hither-y

adj. Sexy in a "c'mere and let's make some hot, sweet, buttered, roasted monkey love" way.

Real citation: "I know, ladies, I know. Me, Katie, Queen of the Romantics, Big-Time Booster of looking good and dressing sexy to catch your man, yes, I, Katie, am actually recommending this comfy, cozy, but not necessarily come-hither-y nightshirt. I bet you expected me to pitch some silk lingerie or something, huh? Well, don't get me wrong. I still love lingerie. But you know what? Sometimes it's just fun to curl up with your bunny and a box of candy and the warming glow of the television set, and take some time for yourself. And this nightshirt is perfect for that."
("Katie-Kissed Merchandise," http://soapcity.netscape.com/specials/katie_frasier/
0206_shopping.jhtml)

Made-up citation: "Hello Virgo. According to the planetary portents, you will soon become entangled with either a come-hither-y sexpot or a creepy-uncle-y crackpot."

robo-mommy

noun. A motherly, robotic bucket of bolts and guilt.

Real citation: "While pretending to do all the equations at work, Proteus plans in secret at the Harris home. Finally, he makes himself known, trapping Susan in her house and controlling her surroundings. He wants to reproduce, explaining, "I, Proteus possess the knowledge and ignorance of all men, but I cannot feel the sun on my face." Unfortunately, Susan is to be the robo-mommy."
(Scott W. Davis, April 29, 2003, Horror Express, http://www.horrorexpress.com/forums/index.php?s=e1f1d71dc53a972ce120a03908b14fa2&showtopic=189)

Made-up citation: "A robo-mommy isn't ideal, but it beats a robo-goon."

dorks-gone-chic

noun. A flock of mature, well-dressed, probably-annoying dorks (not to be confused with a gaggle of hipster doofi).

Real citation: "Why men and women swoon for these dorks-gone-chic."
(Michael Hamilton, "Isn’t He Adorkable?" Cultureflux, http://www.cultureflux.com/issues/11112002/adorkable.htm)

Made-up citation: "Oddly enough, the Dorks-Gone-Chic spring break video hasn't been flying off the shelves."