goodnight-esque-ish

interjection. See you in the morning-ish-y.

Real citation: "Ok, why the frick am I still awake and playing around online. I posted a few cool posts, so check 'em out. Goodnight-esque-ish."
(Sept. 28, 2009, MairHeard, Twitter, http://twitter.com/MairHeard/statuses/4436382830)

Made-up citation: "Goodnight-esque-ish to you, Dr. Vargas! When you wake up, you'll be my butler in hell, just as you were always destined to be! Damn you!"

atheist-gasm

noun. A happy helping of heathen heaven.

Real citation: "Going to forsake my homework for a book signing with Richard Dawkins. Atheist-gasm!"
(Oct. 6, 2009, istaranews, Twitter, http://twitter.com/istaranews/statuses/4666689705)

Made-up citation: "Christopher Hitchens can give me a major-league, industrial strength, code-4 atheist-gasm anytime he wants. Anybody got a towel?"

old-lady-ifying

verb. A precise Granny-making procedure.

Real citation: "second day of tech: tightening, old-lady-ifying, trying to be productive when i'm off...anyway want to switch places?"
(Oct. 4, 2009, Kaity Cookson, Twitter, http://twitter.com/kaity_did/statuses/4601658468)

Made-up citation: "I'm scared of old-lady-ifying my image... That's why I won't knit and I won't spawn two generations."

distortion-orama

noun. Sonic Youth, anyone?

Real citation: "Things I want, no. 374: better speakers. With my current cheapo set it's distortion-orama if I turn my music up as loud as I want it."
(Sept. 27, 2009, duskyblueskies, Twitter, http://twitter.com/duskyblueskies/statuses/4416365820)

Made-up citation: "Dr. Vargas' characterization of my views is a total distortion-orama! Also, he has carnal knowledge of his orcs."

sucksperiment

noun. An experiment that may not blow, but--according to sources--sucks monkey balls.

Real citation: "Alarmingly enough, Kristin seems aware that this entire suckscapade is an elaborate sucksperiment in sucktastical suckage. Her cackling laugh and flippant attitude indicate that -- gasp! -- she doesn't take 'The Hills' or her role on it all that seriously!"
(Oct. 4, 2009, Heather Havrilesky, Salon, http://www.salon.com/ent/tv/iltw/2009/10/04/the_hills_dollhouse_project_runway/)

Made-up citation: "I bet the worst part of being a mad scientist is when some hero type calls your latest project a sucksperiment. That's got to hurt."

excellentness-itude

noun. A quality found in only the most excellent citizens, critters, situations, and thingamawhackeys.

Real citation: "Wow! Fabulous week, excellent weekend and Monday doesn't put an end to the excellentness-itude. Just #KFTC ! #fb"
(Sept. 28, 2009, Andy D, Twitter, http://twitter.com/superdtg/statuses/4440724705)

Made-up citation: "Buying the complete Seinfeld on DVD was a decision soaked in excellentness-itude. Pooping the bed, not so much."

de-belt-ification

noun. I don't understand this citation, so I'll merely suggest this process was a necessary precondition for the invention of the beltless trenchcoat.

Real citation: "OK, so my miracle save of Protos de-belt-ification had bent the flybar, gave me vibes. Tonight I'll see if feathering shaft is ok."
(Oct. 1, 2009, Jim Mackraz, Twitter, http://twitter.com/trickybit/statuses/4529375665)

Made-up citation: "The worst part about losing your championship is the de-belt-ification. The de-harem-ification is no picnic either."

orange-y-ish-y

adj. Do I smell orange? Do I taste orange? Do I see orange? Kinda maybe sorta.

Real citation: "But I can't decide who Cyborg will be! GRR! -Stabs self- See, originally I was gonna have Cyborg be Sailor Mercury. But then I though, 'Well, Raven wouldn't be a good Sailor Venus, so I'll make her Sailor Mercury!' Then I thought, 'Wait, Cyborg would make an even WORSE Sailor Venus! And it would be funny if Raven was Sailor Venus, because Venus is the god of love!' And THEN I thought, 'BUT WAIT! What if I make Starfire Sailor Venus because she's kinda orange-y-ish-y, then make Cyborg Sailor Mercury, and THEN make Raven as Sailor Moon!' Then I got confused and my brain went splody. DDDD: So, I'm left with making Raven and Cyborg either Sailor Venus or Sailor Mercury. PLEEEEEEEEEASE help me CHOOOOOOOOSE! -Sobs- D:"
(June 13, 2007, deviantART, http://moonstar-legand.deviantart.com/journal/13334427/)

Made-up citation: "This tea is a little orange-y-ish-y...and very pee-y-ish-y. Damn you, Dr. Vargas! I'd know your urine anywhere."

dork-tosterone

noun. The very lifeblood of a dork, besides, you know, Poindextrose.

Real citation: "Furthermore if they have insecurities about their positions why not study instead of committing crimes and make $ instead of being sued, which i hope they do. Another possible argument is the parenting, oh its their parents fault they are like that, yes i am sure somewhere in the back of 'parenting for dummies' it says: Make sure you instruct your child to pick on those who can not fight back and do criminal acts, it is what any aspiring parent would do. In other words, the only explanation is we have a group of teams goofed up on dork-tosterone and they have a video camera."
(Oct. 28, 2007, http://understandinghowie.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!C18C20AF1E564A0D!422.entry)

Made-up citation: "I wouldn't say dork-tosterone is coursing through my veins--more like reading quietly in my veins and gawking at the librarians."

homework-ectomy

noun. A procedure proven to remove math, reading, and other barriers to a healthy, productive life.

Real citation: "I feel like I have had a homework-ectomy. I looked forward to finishing my portfolio, and the relief of not having so much homework, but now I am dealing with the pain after the 'surgery'. Specifically, I feel like a part of me is missing. I have defined myself as a grad student and a National Boards candidate for so long, that I feel like part of me is missing. I'm sure that I will eventually come to terms with it, but, right now, I feel like I am having a personal crisis."
(April 1, 2009, Caps for Sale, http://caps-for-sale.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "I think all students deserve a homework-ectomy and a Pixie Stick longer than Wilt Chamberlain. All I need is your vote for class president."

cupcake-tastrophy

noun. Oh, the cupcake-manity!

Real citation: "A Cupcake-tastrophy"
(Aug. 8, 2009, CupcakesOMG!, http://cupcakesomg.blogspot.com/2009/08/cupcake-tastrophy.html)

Made-up citation: "If the world has to end in a cupcake-tastrophy, well, I guess I'll just have to accept it. Preordained is preordained, you know?"

wedgie-ologist

noun. A respected, trained, learned professional, so wise in the ways of the buttcrack.

Real citation: "Okay, wedgie-ologist:
What's the difference between a Supreme wedgie and an Atomic wedgie?
Inquiring minds want to know."
(Dec. 3, 2001, Free Republic, http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/582838/replies?c=2)

Made-up citation: "My biggest regrets? I never became a wedgie-ologist or supreme leader. Why, oh why, must I be a dean?"

Caucasianistically

adv. Honky-ily.

Real citation: "In other news, we need to come up with a phrase to describe those Awkward White Guy Plays like the one in which Matt Hasselbeck got injured last week. If you didn't see it, he scrambled out of the pocket, thought he might be able to scramble into the end zone, realized he couldn't -- uh-oh, Awkward White Guy Play coming up! -- then ended up lurching forward with a dive, only he looked like a wrapped-up corpse that was being tossed into the ocean by gangsters. THUD! So what do we call these moments? Does 'Awkward White Guy Play' cover it? Could we did deeper with something like 'Vanilla Pudding Play'? Or just a two-word thing like 'Caucasianistically Challenged'? Or maybe just 'Went honky on us'? I'd like to figure this out. In a related story, Hasselbeck cracked a rib and ushered in a few weeks of the Seneca Wallace Temp QB Era, or as it's better-known, 'Ka-Ching.'"
(Sept. 25, 2009, Bill Simmons, ESPN.com, http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmonsnflpicks/090925)

Made-up citation: "I only do two things Caucasianistically: dancing and colonizing. Other than that, you'd hardly know I am a cracker."

nerdgasm-tastic-ness

noun. Would a Cylon boffing a Wookie qualify? I think it might.

Real citation: "@jjwebshows Aw, i could never, never, never, never unfollow you!!! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR NERDGASM-TASTIC-NESS!"
(Aug. 11, 2009, HoneyJune, Twitter, http://twitter.com/HoneyJune/statuses/3240381069)

Made-up citation: "I've been watching Dollhouse, but it doesn't quite fill me with nerdgasm-tastic-ness. The premise doesn't make much sense. The lead role is a million dollar part played by a $10 actor. The tone is totally inconsistent. So why am I watching? Oh yeah, I'm a loser."

were-asshole

noun. A not-so-exotic creature of the night.

Real citation: "its amazing just how impatient and immature people are when they go into a retail store. its like they leave all the manners and etiquette at the door and just become a were-asshole. you like that dont you, a were-asshole. which actually makes sense, because in the retail industry we have this saying 'must be a full moon' meaning, for some reason when a full moon is out, people tend to be worse than normal."
(April 18, 2009, Let There Be Blog, http://koit-saywhat.blogspot.com/2009/04/awww-man-hot-dogs-again-mom.html)

Made-up citation: "Obviously, a silver bullet will kill a were-asshole, but the sledgehammer defense shows promise as well."

craizzzie-daisy

adj. I'm no batshitologist, but that sounds kinda crazy, I reckon.

Real citation: "See the ocean in the BG- beautiful, long, craizzzie-daisy day"
(Sept. 23, 2009, Eliza Dushku, Twitter, http://twitter.com/elizadushku/status/4330497561)

Made-up citation: "My dog has always been adorable and craizzzie-daisy. You don't get a nickname like Crack Baby by driving in the sane lane."

filmguystorytellerwithaknackformakingcorporatetypesrelax-ologist

noun. A complex professional. As an exorcist/milkman, I admire that.

Real citation: "heading off to help a friend brainstorm a name for what he does. hmmm. filmguystorytellerwithaknackformakingcorporatetypesrelax-ologist?"
(June 23, 2009, Natalie Nowytski, Twitter, http://twitter.com/bjorkalie/statuses/2296423011)

Made-up citation: "I could use a good filmguystorytellerwithaknackformakingcorporatetypesrelax-ologist around here... Then again, a couple forties might be more scalable, given budgetary constraints."

Ahmadi-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is

noun. That's Supreme Fuckin' Leader to you.

Real citation: "… on the other hand, I trust Putin even less, and I simply don’t trust his pal Ahmadi-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is, period. A handful of antiballistic missiles is a whole lot cheaper solution than going to an all-out war to contain that maniac."
(Sept. 30, 2007, English Russia, http://englishrussia.com/?p=1521)

Made-up citation: "My first child will be named Plaxico Seven Ahmadi-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is Peters. That works for a boy or girl."

dumbing-down-tacularity

noun. Oh, the duh-manity!

Real citation: "Yay (?Watchdog ?Panorama) for dumbing-down-tacularity. The whole point about the Ross Anderson exploit is that it’s got no imaginable viability in real life, and absolutely couldn’t drive the frauds that the victims in the clip say they were done by."
(Aug. 30, 2008, Longrider, http://www.longrider.co.uk/blog/2008/08/28/fraud-forums/)

Made-up citation: "I'm never afraid to embrace dumbing-down-tacularity in my artwork or marriage. I can go low, and I wear my bib low, to catch the drool."

beard-pocalypse

noun. A hairmageddon of the chin.

Real citation: "@LuucyGoose Beard-pocalypse!"
(Aug. 16, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/wheredidjengo/statuses/3350772588)

Made-up citation: "Dear Lord, do I hate trimming my beard. I'm always one mistake away from a beard-pocalypse. Then I'd have to shave the whole thing, and the whole world would know I am Batman!"

surgery-y

adj. In the medical community, we prefer to call it "knife-y".

Real citation: "And then the priest tells Scully "don't give up," like this is supposed to be something deep and meaningful. HOW? If he'd told her "it's always darkest before the dawn" would that have been deeper and meaningful-er? What about if he'd said "a stitch in time saves nine"? That's even better, being all surgery-y and stuff!"
(July 26, 2008, Livejournal, http://layniek.livejournal.com/84840.html)

Made-up citation: "I told you my headache doesn't feel very surgery-y... I don't think you'll be needing that sterilized sword, Pop-pop."

not-a-shit-givery

noun. The locals call it apathy. The Druids called it "ghghgheeeeeeexo".

Real citation: "What I just described were pretty much my only freakouts the whole weekend! That's NOTHING compared to the previous Drills. This was like an ORGY of NOT-A-SHIT-GIVERY! (Especially considering that *I* am the one who goes to jail if something goes... 'TOO FAR.')"
(July 7, 1999, Subgenius.com, http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/XXDAYad/X0037_XX-Day-Stang-Report2.html)

Made-up citation: "When will I finally embrace not-a-shit-givery for the Buffalo Bills? You'd think I'd learn after the 56th Monday night aneurysm."

six-year-old-ification

noun. May involve replacing huckleberries with dingleberries.

Real citation: "The six-year-old-ification of Twitter is now complete. #nickjonassideboob"
(Sept. 6, 2009, Thomas McLaughlin, Twitter, http://twitter.com/nazbear/statuses/3796216660)

Made-up citation: "I've always been considered a mature elder of my tribe, but for most men, six-year-old-ification would be an impr--hey! Come back here with my binky!"

uncomfortski

adj. An underwear bunch-up of Biblical proportions, for example.

Real citation: "Check out guy was overly friendly. Asked very specific questions. Uncomfortski."
(Sept. 15, 2009, Mason Hastie, Twitter, http://twitter.com/myownbiggestfan/status/4020714359)

Made-up citation: "You're making me uncomfortski! Please put on your pantskis."

pussy-pyloned

adj. See citation for definition. Hey, that rhymes. Sweet.

Real citation: "I would like to thank my dear Natasha for teaching me that when a girl is cock-blocked, the correct term is 'pussy-pyloned'."
(Sept. 14, 2009, Michelle Wood, Twitter, http://twitter.com/EmLaRue/status/3986316486)

Made-up citation: "A pussy-pyloned priestess is much to be feared! But not as much as a virgin-starved volcano, warn geologists."

ugh-gasmic

adj. A close relative of ew-gasmic, argh-gasmic, yeehaw-gasmic, and aaaaaiiiiiiiieeeeee-gasmic.

Real citation: "The Killers aren't exactly a super fave but damn! Brandon F. looks so f'n hawt in 'The World That We Live In' vid -- ugh-gasmic fantastic!"
(June 27, 2009, Cristina dela Dingco, Twitter, http://twitter.com/girldentist/statuses/2359503017)

Made-up citation: "I can't define ugh-gasmic, but I know it when I bazooka barf a little more joyfully."

badass-tastic-ish

adj. Caution: may contain ingredients that are totally badass-ish.

Real citation: "This film looks mega-awesomely badass-tastic-ish. It's been a while since Hollywood has made a movie with such a high ninja quota. Well I presume there are a lot of ninjas in this movie, obviously I can't actually see them to count."
(Aug. 15, 2009, Freakshow Planet, http://freakshowplanet.com/videos/random/rc221-Ninja-Assassin.html)

Made-up citation: "I feel like a schmuck 97.8% of the time, but I feel almost badass-tastic-ish when wearing my cape and special underwear."

oversized novelty breast syndrome

noun phrase. A version of Tomb Raider mega-boobies syndrome.

Real citation: "5. Art: Oversized Novelty Breast Syndrome
The art departments are generally the people who have their act sorted out; the quality of videogame art is often exceptional. Yet we still see female character models in many games with vital statistics fresh from the imagination of a hormonally-possessed teenage boy. Motorstorm was a top-tier release for the PS3, and it has a female motorcyclist with a physique better suited to a porno movie than a racing tournament. It's not just offensive to women to use these hyper-sexualised character models, it’s bad business for any game targeting a mass market audience to present itself with such amateur aesthetics."
(April 29, 2009, International Hobo, http://blog.ihobo.com/2009/04/ten-game-development-vices-part-one.html)

Made-up citation: "No proposed health plan will offer treatment for oversized novelty breast syndrome, because it is awesome."

hammock-deprived

adj. Not as bad as sick or hungry, but it still sucks.

Real citation: "Hammock Reading for the Hammock-Deprived"
(James Wolcott, Sept. 6, 2009, http://www.vanityfair.com/online/wolcott/2009/09/-httpwwwoxfordamericanorg.html)

Made-up citation: "I remember when I was a hammock-deprived boy... I never dreamed I'd grow up to be a fembot-deprived man."

convenientilicious

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

potato-istic

adj. Potato-y, I reckon.

Real citation: "i dont feel like doing anything, at all. Too lazy to move, text, call, bath, and even drive. potato-istic much"
(Aug. 28, 2009, redfists, Twitter, http://twitter.com/redfists/statuses/3599934481)

Made-up citation: "Maybe the Garden of Eden would have worked out differently if the events were more potato-istic. Surely God wouldn't kick anyone out for eating the curly fries of knowledge of good and evil."

shoe-saster

noun. Do my hooker boots qualify?

Real citation: "We had, as Jess has described it, a shoe-saster. The cat likes to knock them over and I don't reliably put mine on the rack."
(Aug. 29, 2009, Robert Sharp, Twitter, http://twitter.com/sharprs/statuses/3629325594)

Made-up citation: "They tried telling me that just because there's fuck-me pumps, fuck-me penny loafers weren't a sure thing. I invested millions in that shoe-saster. But I think the fuck-me Gilligan hat will turn things around."

pesto-friggin-riffic

adj. There is pesto, and it is good. That is all you need to know.

Real citation: ":: just harvested armfuls of basil from the herb garden...pesto-friggin-riffic!"
(Sept. 5, 2009, artforthefolks, Twitter, http://twitter.com/artforthefolks/statuses/3787784249)

Made-up citation: "I just had a pesto-friggin-riffic birthday... I can't recall the details, but it definitely involved a snorkel and your mom."

stupid-pocalypse

noun. A real duh-a-geddon.

Real citation: "@DougPiranha God, all this non-news... seriously. I'm going back in the bunker. Tell me when the stupid-pocalypse is over."
(Aug. 29, 2009, Shatterbound, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Shatterbound/statuses/3627261975)

Made-up citation: "There is only one way to avert a stupid-pocalypse. And when I finish cleaning my dunce cap, I'll tell you."

double-boob-edly

adverb. Sounds like the hench-cleavage is at it again.

Real citation: "Siesta single-handedly, or rather double-boob-edly, tipped the balance in favour of this show. NotoMami's boob fairy joining the cast is a good thing (i hope). And of course i'm dying to find out what happens to the Reiji Maigo. Oops, wrong Hino Rie show. The plot so far has been rather blah, so zero expectations there."
(June 25, 2008, The Legend of Zunderella, http://zunderella.blogspot.com/2008/06/1000th-summer-cue.html)

Made-up citation: "If I can only shrink my man-boobs, through a strict regimen of physical fitness and fewer than three cakes a day, maybe someday the local bloggers will stop using the word 'double-boob-edly' in their reviews of my ballet troupe."

ortho-yada-yada-ology

noun. A medical field that is so crucial when you injure your blah-blah bone.

Real citation: "There were a couple days there that I thought we were going to have to check my 5yo into a Kindergarten rehab for the psychotic! He was in so much pain that he was climbing the cabinets to get to his painkillers that I put in the cabnet over the sink. I am not telling you to scare you, just to let you know that this is (according to our doctor, who was the head of ortho-yada-yada-ology, ENT, at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston) very normal."
(Aug. 5, 2005, Splitcoast Forums, http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75850)

Made-up citation: "Some doctors leave the field of ortho-yada-yada-ology for a quiet life of meditation and poetry, but only the doctors who are cuckoo for crystal meth puffs."

fist-of-death-itude

noun. Highly correlated with loss-of-life-itude and/or ouch!-my-hand-itude.

Real citation: "Finished long read of intense fist-of-death-itude (tx @sarahmei). BAH."
(Aug. 28, 2009, rmei, Twitter, http://twitter.com/rmei/statuses/3598632844)

Made-up citation: "Most doctors can't diagnose fist-of-death-itude. Let's help them out by punching them till they die."

blah-illion

noun. Sounds like a big whatever-load.

Real citation: "Each block of three is written as 'blah hundred an blah-dy blah blah-illion'. For example, the '723' is read as 'seven hundred and twenty three thousand' (yes, an exception to the '-illion' rule) and the '56' is read as 'fifty six million')."
(March 8, 2008, xkcd, http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=22054&p=658698)

Made-up citation: "I have blah-illion reasons why I love you. I just can't seem to think of any."

hair-ma-geddon

noun. Oh, the hair-manity!

Real citation: "hair-ma-geddon
remember that guy with the long hair on the bus?
his name is tim. he's in my class."
(Aug. 4, 2009, miss. chief's blog, http://www.misschiefsblog.com/2009/08/hair-ma-geddon.html)

Made-up citation: "It takes a mystical sword and the sacred parchments to avert an apocalypse, but the hair-ma-geddon can be stopped instantly with a hat."

celebu-swine

noun. Porky Pig qualifies.

Real citation: "This Little Piggie is a Celebu-swine!"
(Aug. 4, 2009, Ellie Brecher, The Miami Herald Blog, http://miamiherald.typepad.com/crazy_for_critters/2009/08/this-little-piggie-is-a-celebuswine.html)

Made-up citation: "From small celebu-swine grow enormous plates of delicious celebu-bacon."

snore-gasmic

adj. Ooh-la-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Real citation: "@moryan Another question about Singer-helmed BSG re-re-boot. Did anyone at Universal see his snore-gasmic Superman Returns? All of it?"
(Aug. 15, 2009, Craig M. Ranapia, Twitter, http://twitter.com/CraigRanapia/statuses/3337047748)

Made-up citation: "I wouldn't want reviews of my hot wings to include the word snore-gasmic, but I'm OK with it appearing in my obituary."

third-person-osity

noun. Mark Peters is enjoying this definition. Oh yeah.

Real citation: "Talking on Twitter without my usual third-person-osity is HARD"
(Aug. 22, 2009, Mike Stanton, Twitter, http://twitter.com/DoGudSnd/statuses/3473432579)

Made-up citation: "If you can't handle the third-person-osity, then maybe you're not ready to date Mark Peters and his tight abs, smooth testicles, pert buttocks, and watermelon-sized man-hooters."

re-re-re-unretire

verb. A zigzagging process that may indicate "spending time with family" isn't exactly a chocolate cake made of rainbows.

Real citation: "NFL bonanza: Favre re-re-re-unretires, the Raiders/Cable murkiness"
(Aug. 18, 2009, Tim Kawakami, Talking Points, http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2009/08/18/nfl-bonanza-favre-re-re-re-unretires-the-raiderscable-murkiness/)

Made-up citation: "Someday I hope to re-re-re-unretire. Now I just need to find a job, a career, and pants."

hench-chimp

noun. Of all the hench-primates, this one is most closely related to the hench-bonobo.

Real citation: "Train a gang of monkeys to be my loyal hench-chimps."
(March 29, 2007, MCF's Nexus of Improbability, http://mysteriouscloakedfigure.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "Note to self: don't house the hench-chimps and hench-bananas together again."

turbo-destructo-pup

noun. Also known in my culture as "puppy".

Real citation: "Candy is very close to our vision of the ideal whippet. Well, she is now. She was a sweetheart of a baby puppy -- not at all the typical turbo-destructo-pup we've come to expect from whippet youngsters."
(Sept. 5, 2008, Timbreblue Whippets, http://timbreblue.com/dogs/candy)

Made-up citation: "I see your new turbo-destructo-pup is going Old Testament on the sofa cushions. Nice. Even the Old Testament wasn't this brutal and romantic."

scoundrel-osity

noun. Han Solo had it. You can have it too for $99.99 and an original copy of your genome.

Real citation: "me too - I'm lovin' the inter-tubes...
...where lying scoundrels have literally microseconds to exist before their scoundrel-osity is exposed for all to see, in living color ;-)"
(Oct. 4, 2008, Daily Kos, http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/4/211344/750/45/620343)

Made-up citation: "Is it my scoundrel-osity that scares women off, even as my chest hair afro draws them ever closer? I am a paradox."

nano-diddly-squat

noun. Add nano-diddly to nano-squat, and this is what you got.

Real citation: "The recent closing of the University of Wyoming’s S.H. Knight Geological Museum due to budget constraints resulted in an uproar of protest from paleontologists, geologists, others in the scientific community, and the public. On June 30, 2009, the museum closed its doors and the job of the museum’s director, paleontologist Brent Breithaupt, was terminated along with that of a part-time employee. Sure, times are tough all over. But we’re talking about a museum with an annual operating expense of only $80,000. In today’s world of massive bailout mania this amounts to less than nano-diddly-squat."
(July 24, 2009, Science Buzz, http://www.sciencebuzz.org/taxonomy/term/14)

Made-up citation: "How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways: nano-diddly-squat. Want me to alphabetize the ways next?"

handjob-ologist

noun. A specialist who may practice even without years of medical training.

Real citation: "'She's like a handjob-ologist!' -Max"
(Aug. 22, 2009, Carlos Santiago, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LoskyS/status/3485100345)

Made-up citation: "No one wants to hear, 'Your sister's a handjob-ologist!' Except me. Hey, it's a step up from lawyer."

beer gut-ify

verb. A complex embiggening process.

Real citation: "Rule of Girl Life: The douchier the ex-boyfriend, the more likely it is that he'll stay hot. Facebook needs a 'beer gut-ify photo' option."
(Aug. 18, 2009, Zolora, Twitter, http://twitter.com/zolora/status/3392245269)

Made-up citation: "It's easy to drink a lot of beer without beer gut-ifying yourself. Nine hours a day at the gym and you're good."

scentofawomantaur

noun. A primordial Pacino-esque beast.

Real citation: "We need some new mythological creatures. I propose the scentofawomantaur. Half Al Pacino, half horse. Speaks in hoo-ahs."
(Aug. 18, 2009, Tim Siedell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/badbanana/status/3396263583)

Made-up citation: "We'll never know if cavemen or asteroids killed the scentofawomantaur, or if it killed its own career by appearing in dozens of horrible movies."

post-dinner-sinner

adj. The dessert of champions.

Real citation: "Wife's been cockblockin' me all day. As she left to meet friend, she made post-dinner-sinner overtures, but I don't buy it. Betcha I tug it."
(Aug. 18, 2009, Kevin Smith, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ThatKevinSmith/status/3397337757)

Made-up citation: "I have always had to curtail post-dinner-sinner activities due to explosive bowel syndrome--the not-so-silent killer."

snausage feet syndrome

noun phrase. A great reason to always wear hooker boots around your dog.

Real citation: "WebMD thinks I either had too much salt today or am experiencing acute liver failure. Curiously, no mention of 'Snausage Feet Syndrome'."
(Aug. 19, 2009, killorn, Twitter, http://twitter.com/killorn/statuses/3401643383)

Made-up citation: "I never used to like looking at women's feet till I moved to the big city, where more money is spent per toe than per child in the schools. Now, I'm a foot-liker to rival Quentin Tarantino. Of course, snausage feet syndrome could probably scare me straight."

prosti-pouting

adj. A facial expression rarely observed on the late Mother Theresa.

Real citation: "Can't say that I'm disappointed in the prosti-pouting plastic divas demise. The thought of a doll dressed in fishnets, boas, heavy makeup and miniskirts marketed to 4-8 year old girls is at the least disturbing, and even more so, is watching companies advocating this sexuality on young children. Wasn't it enough with the busty wasp waisted Barbie?"
(Dec. 4, 2008, Elysian Field Originals, http://elysianfieldoriginals.blogspot.com/2008/12/prosti-pouting-plastic-divasis-this-end.html)

Made-up citation: "I think I'd be more successful if I practiced prosti-pouting more... How does that look? No, I didn't poo myself."

special agent-tastic

adj. See this gun? Well, it's not only a gun. It may appear to be a small, deadly gun, but it is really a freaking enormous, super-deadly turbo-gun that can blow up buildings. It's also a waffle iron.

Real citation: "@jeremyduns is now also tweeting as his character @pauldark1969 from his novel, FREE AGENT. Follow him for some special agent-tastic action!"
(Aug. 17, 2009, Twitter, http://twitter.com/simonschusterUK/statuses/3361147905)

Made-up citation: "I think my new utility belt is quite special agent-tastic. See it? No, you can't. Exactly my point."