anthro-weirdo

noun. An enthusiastic collector of anthro-whatsits.

Real citation: "There was something the Doctor once said about discussions that made a deep impression on me many years ago. The huge body of lectures and books by this man can easily give anyone an overdose and turn the person into an anthro-nut, an anthro-weirdo, or an anthro-fundy, but one picks up along the way certain profound thoughts and principles and ideas that resonate well with one's own soul, then anthroposophy can be a very progressive and healthy resource for an individual, regardless of how another party may decide to judge the inner life of that individual, especially when such judgements are solely based upon statements typed in public forums on a given subject."
(Nov. 20, 2008, Anthroposophy Tomorrow, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/anthroposophy_tomorrow/message/38551)

Made-up citation: "I hate when pundits act like anthro-weirdos and robo-weirdos are exactly the same. That's like saying toast is like a pancake, or children are people too..."

Hey-look-over-there-istan

noun. A place that is very needy for attention--like Sweden, with their fancy pancakes and massages.

Real citation: "And come to think of it, why did the UK send our most senior guy T Blair straight to the Middle East when he left office, and not to Sri Lanka, or hey-look-over-there-istan?"
(Jan. 10, 2008, Harry's Place, http://www.hurryupharry.org/2009/01/09/a-tale-of-two-stories/)

Made-up citation: "I'm not going to Hey-look-over-there-istan with you, bucko. I'm simply too enthralled by my lengthy sojourn in I'mboredsowhere'sthepornistan."

WOOHOOHUZZAHOMGYAY

interjection. An expression highly correlated with reverse-bummers.

Real citation: "Only a few hours remain before the beginning of the end graces of tv screens!
WOOHOOHUZZAHOMGYAY!*HIGH FIVES*
So! What are your plans for the premiere? Beer? Fancy meal?"
(Jan. 16, 2008, Livejournal, http://community.livejournal.com/frak_spoilers/375884.html)

Made-up citation: "I too feel somewhat WOOHOOHUZZAHOMGYAY about Battlestar Galactica tonight. But I must maintain my stoic reserve, remaining on guard against all eventualities. Gulp. You see, I think my dog is a Cylon: he pooped in my bed, and it destroyed the human race."

menstru-iffic

adj. Aunt Flo-tastic

Real citation: "Apparently, said girlfriend was, to borrow a term from the top five, 'Feelin' Menstru-iffic' and had a bit of an, er...accident. Hey it happens to the best of us. Sometimes it cannot be contained."
(April 14, 2005, Jana say 'qua', http://janasayqua.blogspot.com/2005/04/not-for-weakor-menor-weak-men.html)

Made-up citation: "I will never eat here again. The noodles are gnarly. The tea is toxic. The salad has cysts. The meatballs are menstru-iffic. And you forgot the root beer, Mom!"

metric (bad word)-load

noun. Somewhere between a bazillion and a metric poo-ton. Do I look like a mathematician? I'm only a lonely sailor, on a cold sea...

Real citation: "A really hoppy IPA must have a metric (bad word)-load of aphids in it. No extra charge for the meat boy…"
(July 13, 2008, How to Spot a Psychopath, http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2008/07/12/eeew-of-the-day/)

Made-up citation: "The temperature is a metric (bad word)-load below zero. My dog is huddled against the radiator. I just took a bath in hot coffee. What do I have to do to get warm, blow up my meth lab? I was saving that meth lab for a special occasion."

arachno-butt

noun. An eight-legged ass.

Real citation: "Behind the targeted attacks is the crude Karnelli, an infamous underworld mogul.
Spidey realizes his old nemesis, Shocker, is behind the quake that buried them underground, and manages to stop the vibrating-villian…for now. However, one of the passengers reveals his identity to Spider-man, exposing his relationship to a particular pain in Spidey’s arachno-butt."
(Nov. 20, 2008, Spider-man Crawl Space, http://www.spidermancrawlspace.com/wordpress/?p=1141)

Made-up citation: "I wrote my dissertation on diseases that afflict the arachno-butt, and what they mean for today's Generation Z spider. But the job market is awful... GE just laid off eight arachno-proctologists Wednesday."

snowpoca-geddon

noun. I just call it Buffalo, NY.

Real citation: "Snowpoca-geddon
It's official; Seattle has become Minnesota:
That's the coldest temperature I've ever been in, by the way. I've been in 9 degrees weather twice, once in Texas and once in Seattle, but this is the first time I've seen 8 degrees.
My f-list is full of the words 'snowpocalypse' and 'snowmageddon,' so I know we're not the only part of the country experiencing extreme weather."
(Dec. 19, 2008, Livejournal, http://amy34.livejournal.com/210518.html)

Made-up citation: "I see another snowpoca-geddon has befallen the land whilst I slept. Damn you, Odin! Why must you poo so coldly on your most faithful servants?"

thinga-longwordsomethingortheother-majiggy

noun. Of all the majiggies, this is a whopper of a whatsit.

Real citation: "'The problem with Africa is,' he paused, as if he was going to tell me something really important, or confidential, or novel, or dramatic, or all of the above, 'that we do not have an identity. What we had was overwritten, palimpsest, by various other cultures, identities and outlooks. We were also traumatised, by the processes of colonisation, decolonisation and the failures of the newly independent state that all we see is the floccinaucinihilipilification of our character.' What did you say? I wanted to ask. But then, if he wanted to talk to me he would have talked to me in simple terms. As it stood, he was talking to himself including addressing himself with this thinga-longwordsomethingortheother-majiggy. I thought of cutting his head off, putting it a blender so that I cut all his words to manageable, if not rational, proportions. 'We hear of "An African solution to an African problem", but how many of the problems have we solved? You can't solve a problem if you are the problem. That demands very serious introspection and self conquest, something we do not have both the intention and the capacity of doing.' "
(Dec. 4, 2008, Tinyiko E, http://tinyikohalimani.blogspot.com/2008/12/when-two-people-do-same-thing-its-not.html)

Made-up citation: "Oh sweetheart... I lost my thinga-longwordsomethingortheother-majiggy, along with my dreams and my meth lab. I don't think this marriage is working."

essay-pionage

noun. This essay is a double-agent! Also, it sucks. Two crimes against humanity! Where's my red pen and waterboarding equipment?

Real citation: "The last few days have been goodish, actually. After all the finals panic, I did suprisingly well on my japanese test, and with a few hours to kill before the bike shop opened (I had to buy an adapter for my tires), I went to the library's new books area, and actually, checked out new books--Paul Celan: Selections and some blackwell anthology on epistemology with essays by a whole bunch of professors that I'm going to, eventually, meet over the course of my grad school visits. (call it essay-pionage...or not). I took and nap which seemed like it lasted all last night, and even made a livejournal post appologizing for skipping the party at Stephanie and Jessie's only to realize that it was 10:00 at night (after I made breakfast and got dressed for church). When I saw a party going on next door, I realized the error of my ways, deleted the post, and sat around for another half-hour, reading, before I decided to go the party. I was a bit of a grouch there, I think, but it's nice to go out and remember that you know people."
(May 8, 2005, Livejournal, http://bioproject.livejournal.com/275378.html)

Made-up citation: "I've committed essay-pionage before... An editor thinks I've written a trenchant article on the state of the wine bar and what it means for American culture. In reality, I've written a secret Satanic prayer--to Satan!"

VPILFtastic

adj. A groin-boggling quality that's non-synonymous with gravitas.

Real citation: "she looks very 90s and VPILFtastic"
(Sept. 1, 2008, i am bored, http://www.i-am-bored.com/forums.asp?action=read&ct=10&q_id=33314&read_page=2&ss=&search_where=)

Made-up citation: "Joe Biden may prove to be a fine vice-president. But is he VPILFtastic? That question can only be answered by America's pants, and they're not talking."

diddly-bleeping-squat

noun. On a scale of zero to zilch, this would be there.

Real citation: "If it's _legal_ for our Administration to use Son Of Carnivore and the Patriot Act to monitor U.S. citizen's telecomms, it should be legal to SHUT DOWN the Iraqi cell networks and make possession of RF transmission devices also a bullet-in-ear death penalty condition. Even so, in terms of Jammers, what they are talking about is the equivalent of Shortstop mortar fuze spoofers for cell and remote firing mechanisms and I _doubt seriously_ if they have enough ERPS or area of effect to do diddly bleeping squat to the F-22's 'sigint collection suite'. Because they aren't doing diddly squat to the Iraqi's telecomms. And because, if it's all like previous generations, the ALR-94 is in fact operating in the 4-5 to 20GHZ FIRE CONTROL bands /well beyond/ the radio and cell networks operating at 750MHz to 2GHz range. Certainly comparing these devices (later in the article) to Carrier Deck environments filled with MEGAWATTS of ATC, INS alignment, ACLS, and radio test is ludicrous."
(March 3, 2007, Above Top Secret, http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread270213/pg2)

Made-up citation: "In the winter, my dog spends somewhere between three minutes and diddly-bleeping-squat seconds outside. He is that fast at dropping a deuce and watering the grass. So where's his Golden Globe award, huh?"

henchblob

noun. An underling who could charitably be described as non-svelte.

Related terms: henchboobs, hench-bunny-men, henchchicken, hench-commissioner, henchdoofus, henchdork, henchgoon, henchmoron, henchnoncorporeal being, hench-poodle, henchscum, henchzombie, underhenchling.

Real citation: "You never fight the god, just go inside and pilfer all the treasure and fight battles. It's examples such as these that take well-worn clichés - such as the RPG blob or bat, skeleton, etc and make that cliché into something fresh and interesting. Not to mention extremely silly. I mean there are conversations you have with the blob 'heavies' - yes tough guy mini-boss blobs who threaten to do you in. The whole scenario is just hilarious, as all the enemies inside the giant blob are laughably weak. Just imagine a three year old threatening to beat you up - would you feel scared? And so it is with the blob henchmen, or henchblobs."
(July 7, 2006, Buttonhole, http://www.buttonhole.com.au/review/id/541.html)

Made-up citation: "I have a surefire solution to awkward social solutions: a crack squadron of henchblobs. You'd be surprised how easily social anxiety is forgotten when you're fighting for your life against amorphous, 2000-pound monsters. It really takes the edge off."

phlegmocracy

noun. Rule by coughHACKgak! Excuse me... What were we talking about?

Real citation: "As time passes me by, I guess these new catchphrases do too. I remember it was 'tolerance' for a while. 'Coexistence' must be the new 'word' for the 'new generation' according to those companies that define 'new generations' run by people whose business it is to think up 'words' that coincide with 'generations' they are not a part of. I always thought I would be good at something like this, maybe even revolutionary, with words like parahabitation or phlegmocracy. 'Coexistence' is something your mom would say to insinuate who to hang out with at school and who to, well, 'coexist' with."
(Aug. 27, 2003, the quizod of self-evidence, http://quizod.typepad.com/evidence/2003/08/the_fourth_worl-1.html)

Made-up citation: "I don't like living in a phlegmocracy, but what're you gonna do? It beats an oozing-cyst-ocracy."

frizzle-frizzledness

noun. A substantially less stressful quality than frizzle-frazzledness, I reckon.

Real citation: "Tonight the temps are dropping down into the low 30s, and it's supposed to get a bit cooler than that over the weekend. I had to move Tiny Tim's "sweater" up the priority list. When I was in town last weekend, I picked up a yard of brown fleece. Couldn't beat the price at less than $3/yard! Just right for chicken outerwear.
Learn more about Tiny Tim and his extra frizzle-frizzledness HERE and HERE."
(Nov. 20, 2008, Sassy & Sweet, http://sweetmissdaisy.typepad.com/sassy_sweet_notes/2008/11/project-poultry.html)

Made-up citation: "When I had a long, non-flowing, near-dreadlocky mane, frizzle-frizzledness was my constant companion. Now that I am tastefully shorn, I walk alone. Well, except for the meerkats and hallucinations and orcs."

warlorditude

noun. A quality found in only a few rare hamsters.

Real citation: "Isn't 'spent some time in an army' a pretty standard background for fighters and warlords? Is your objection that studying magic and going to war is too much? Make the character a fighter[warlord] or something, then - the point is that multiclassing into warlord won't provide you with one of the basic aspects of warlorditude until you can swap a power too."
(May 2, 2008, RPGnet Forums, http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=392222&page=27)

Made-up citations: "Past employers have commended me on my initiative and warlorditude. In five years, I hope to be Executive Vice-pillager for a major corporation."

teleportacious

adj. Bamf! Poof! Beam me up, jackasswad.

Real citation: "To be perfectly honest I do not understand this glitch at all, but it is definitely a cool one. Be sure to leave the guy a comment on his teleportacious video."
(March 8, 2008, Glitch Blog, http://glitchblog.com/2008/03/08/incredibly-strange-launch-and-teleport-glitch-in-conflict-denied-ops/)

Made-up citation: "Who's more dangerous? A teleportacious elf or a stain-resistant zombie? I don't know. I'm drunk."

quasi-sorta-medieval-ish

adj. When used in the expression "I'm gonna go quasi-sorta-medieval-ish on your ass!", even squirrels and bunnies won't flee.

Real citation: "On a personal note, since I haven't talked to you ingame about it Rae, it'll be a very tough time convincing Kaeriel to care one way or another about the Sun'S Warmth enough to take that degree of action. He (and kind of myself OOC) sees them as kind of silly and harmless, and especially in a quasi-sorta-medieval-ish fantasy setting, the escort or prostitute is just kind of a thing that exists and will continue to do so, organized or otherwise."
(May 7, 2008, Raven's Eye Order, http://www.ravenseyeorder.com/hall/viewtopic.php?t=94&sid=1f235756c39939542ba08a8e32fbb47d)

Made-up citation: "There's nothing quasi-sorta-medieval-ish about me. I am medieval from my chain-mail latte mug to my dungeon/rec room, where it's always the dark ages, and I am the rampaging barbarian horde of the ping pong world."

abominationistic

adj. In many dialects, this means "eggy". Mmm. Or is that my eggnog a la crack talking? Mmm.

Real citation: "well, the danger that is coming is the abominationistic animals from darkwood."
(Feb. 4, 2008, Shisukana Ame, http://sicarus.proboards54.com/index.cgi?board=pb2&action=display&thread=46&page=3)

Made-up citation: "These days, it's hard to tell the abominationistic beasts from the service animals and beloved pets. Every Tom, Dick, and Lassie has seven heads! I hate these fads."

foreheadologist

noun. A specialist feared and loathed and despised and pooh-poohed by chinologists across the nation.

Real citation: "Is there a foreheadologist out there with an insight into these furrows, or are they merely evidence of a recent and hasty frontal lobotomy?"
(Aug. 9, 2006, Turkey Yoghurt, http://www.chickyog.net/2006/09/06/rachel-from-north-london-how-mad-is-tony-blair/#comment-21567)

Made-up citation: "Illinois foreheadologists are still searching for the lost forehead of Gov. Blago-whatsit. It could be that his forehead and moral compass ran away together, and now they're starting a family."

ooby-doobied

verb. Probably involves a doobie. Or an oobie. No woobies, though. Of this we can be certain.

Real citation: "12:15 p.m. Three men ooby-doobied at the center of the Plaza."
(Kevin L. Hoover, Nov. 25, 2008, The Arcata Eye, http://www.arcataeye.com/index.php?module=Pagesetter&func=printpub&tid=2&pid=1119)

Made-up citation: "Have you ever ooby-doobied? I haven't had the privilege. However, in the seventies, I used to higgledy-piggledy till the cows came home. And what a homecoming it was... What a homecoming it was."

plumber-sploitation

noun. Like mooseploitation, but with a higher hourly rate.

Real citation: "Joe The Plumber-sploitation"
(Oct. 16, 2008, Schadenfreude,
http://www.schadenfreude.net/2008/10/16/joe-the-plumber-sploitation.php)

Made-up citation: "I don't believe in plumber-sploitation. I was raised in a country where the plumbers exploit the people, not the people exploiting the plumbers! What's next, a hot dog puts me in a bun?"

self-fraking-explanatory

adj. Duh-fraking-uh.

Real citation: "What in the blue hell are you talking about?
Well let's see, I said there have been 3 Black African [as opposed to Black Jamacian] Popes before therefore...
It is painfully obvious that I am indeed speaking of Victoria's Secrets new line of lingerie, slated to premier this summer just in time for the beach season...
WTF do you think I'm talking about? 3 Black Popes. Before. Self-fraking-explanatory."
(April 12, 2005, nV News Forums, http://www.nvnews.net/vbulletin/archive/index.php/t-48910.html)

Made-up citation: "My dog doesn't need to explain why it is good to bark at the neighbors, roll on rat corpses, and hump Australian-schnauzer-doodle-whatever-poos. There is nothing to explain: it's self-fraking-explanatory. Arf, woof, aroooo!"

stunt-pope

noun. You didn't think that was the real Pope dropkicking six thugs on YouTube, did you?

Real citation: "The Vatican currently employs six stunt-popes."
(David Letterman, Late Show Fun Facts, 2008)

Made-up citation: "Someday, I'll be a stunt-pope, even if it takes 20 years as a stunt-bishop. Of course, I shouldn't look too far ahead. I take my current position as stunt San Diego chicken very seriously."

poopoowad

noun. One of the worst wads in the west.

Real citation: "ETHER! lol i miss you lots! i am on mandy's computer. i hope you dont get sick! katie white is here too and she says you are a poo poo wad and she misses you!!! I MISS YOU MORE THOUGH! you have no idea! and mandy just told me that you come home a week from thursady and i think i need to run to the bathroom before I PEE MY PANTIES!!! its still like 11 Days away though. AND I AM SO MAD THAT I CANT COME PICK YOU UP AT THE AIRPORT!!! PHOOIE. but as i promised i am going to throw you a HUGE welcome home party the day after you get back! and i am so excited! I LOVE YOU HIVEY BUTT SALSA!!!!"
(Aug. 17, 2008, Esther's Summer in Texas, link dead)

Made-up citation: "At the final battle of Ragnorak, the poopoowads and the peepeewads will fight to the death. That's according to my Norse mythology textbook, as rewritten by local scholars like my cousin Tommy."

coronerette

noun. A coroner with feminine wiles--and three autopsy spatulas.

Real citation: "Plopping down in his old coroner's chair, Noguchi, surrounded by admiring assistant coroners and coronerettes, said, 'Oh, I feel great, I feel good,' and Mrs. Elizabeth Palmer, a secretary who had backed Noguchi at the hearing, seemed to speak for the entire team when she said, 'I feel it was a victory for a great boss, one I did not wish to say sayonara to."
(Bruce Jay Friedman, 2000, Even the Rhinos Were Nymphos: Best Nonfiction, p. 175)

Made-up citation: "My mom was a coronerette. My dad was a zombie. Is it any wonder I'm a high school guidance counselor?"

undernasties

noun. Nastywear worn in the nether-region. Or on your head, if you're a Thong Bandit.

Real citation: "That's a sad loss to the music industry. He was a giant (both literally and figuratively) in the business and anybody who can get women to throw their undernasties on stage at them will forever be a hero of mine."
(July 7, 2003, British Expatriate Network, http://www.british-expats.com/archive/index.php/thread-6993.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm a cool customer. I never get my undernasties in a bunch. I never get my panties in a wad. Only once--in the eighties, during a bad week that involved an astronaut and a duck--have I ever gotten my speedo in a twist."

rebuffooned

verb. The worst part of the buffoonological process.

Real citation: "I haven't been inside a WalMart since July 24, 2002, but it sounds like the same managers are there who caused me to cease giving them my custom. Especially the one who won't run a register. I left an $800 computer and a couple hundred dollars worth of assorted clothes and fishing tackle in my cart and left the cart in line when I was rebuffed (rebuffooned?) by the holier-than-thou schmuck who refused to even come to the front to see what the situation was (two lanes open, thirty people in two lines)."
(Nov. 6, 2006, Friends of South Carolina, http://www.friendsofsc.com/forums/showthread.php?p=43539)

Made-up citation: "I was a suave, stalwart sort. I felt respected in the community--until the council rebuffooned me. Damn you, council! I'm going to speak to the commissioner about this."

non-robo-gynoid-cybersexual

adj. Um, let me finish my Master's in fembotics and get back to you.

Real citation: "Has a non-robo-gynoid-cybersexual female character selectable?"
(April 17, 2007, IGN FAQs, http://faqs.ign.com/articles/781/781268p1.html)

Made-up citation: "I heard you were hiring non-robo-gynoid-cybersexual minions. I think I qualify, except for one nano-mechano-ovary."

who-knows-what-ectomy

noun. A surgical procedure that removes one of the body's several hootchie-whatsits.

Real citation: "Dig the spikes! I wonder if he gets a spleen-ectomy (or who-knows-what-ectomy) if he goes over the bars? Jeez, perish the thought. But spikes like that you gotta wonder. Also spikes on the axle covers and a ton of custom metal all over. I think it started as a road king."
(Jan. 1, 2009, Cartoon Thunder Production Journal, http://rpiston.blogspot.com/2009/01/burrito-run-09-pics.html)

Made-up citation: "As a doctor of philosophy, I am authorized to perform close readings of difficult literature, full-body exorcisms of lonely seafarers, academic presentations on Foucauldian paradigms, and--in an emergency--a who-knows-what-ectomy on a graduate student of my choosing."

organ-harvesty

adj. Not how my dinner parties are described in the town newsletter. Swear to God!

Real citation: "The episodes i remember liking the best were megadoomer and waffles. But i think the standalone greatest things ever made were bad, bad rubber piggy and battledib. I probably liked that organ harvesty episode too. back in the day."
(Feb. 27, 2007, Room with a Moose and GIR Message Board, http://www.roomwithamoose.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=7626712f252d28f7b0ed41a22f47d1db&p=722544#post722544)

Made-up citation: "After my delicious Peking duck, the fortune cookie said, 'The new year will be organ-harvesty and favorable.' Hmm. Guess I have a new hobby to pursue. Mmm. Now I'm hungry again."

Tomb Raider mega-boobies syndrome

noun phrase. Does this really require a definition? If not, I'll be playing Tomb Raider.

Real citation: "I have several gripes about toy human reproductions: girl dolls always have huge heads of an impossible shape and a wire-thin body (the Bratz® merrily took it to a further extreme), while boys' 'action figures' all have steroid-enhanced muscles and for increased contrast a head way too small. (Typical example: the WWE action figures.) Non-caucasian dolls are desperatingly rare: 'African' and other ethnic Barbies usually are just made in a different color, there are practically no chinese, hindu, african, middle-eastern, eskimo, etc. characters that look half-decently realistic. Oh, and what's with the 'Tomb Raider' mega-boobies syndrome? My Resident Evil Ada Wong (came with an amazing plant creature) has bosoms as big as her cranium. Each."
(Dec. 15, 2007, Eolake Stobblehouse Blog, http://eolake.blogspot.com/2007/12/barbie-baby-photographer.html)

Made-up citation: "I value many qualities in a potential partner: honesty, loyalty, faith, Tomb Raider mega-boobies syndrome, and depth. Must love meerkats. No freckles please."

cuddly-aggressive

adj. More disturbing than passive-aggressive. More snugly too.

Real citation: "Hi i have a baby holland lop rabbit she is very cute and her name is brownie. She is also very cuddly aggressive sometimes. She is a very good bunny and a very fluffy bunny. She is the cuttest bunny you would ever see."
(Dec. 19, 2007, Animal World, http://animal-world.com/php/AllComments.php?cid=hollandlop)

Made-up citation: "How do I deal with cuddly-aggressive behavior? Glad you asked. I just tell your mom to put on her combat boots and head home. Happy new year!"

colonoscosode

noun. The real reason behind the writer's strike.

Real citation: "A fair share of newfangled revenue. Management is currently offering us adjusted bubkes of what they are making off Internet sell-through, streaming, ringtones, Webisodes, cellisodes, iPodisodes, celebrity-narrated colonoscosodes, or the psychotic episodes they’ve been beaming into your brain, brought to you by Clozaril™. All we are asking is 2.5 per cent of revenue, based on forty per cent of gross receipts, divided by zero, in bullion. We believe that this is a fair formula, yet one complicated enough for Management to continue to find ways to exercise their cheating rights."
(Nov. 19, 2007, Larry Doyle, The New Yorker, http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2007/11/19/071119sh_shouts_doyle)

Made-up citation: "Stay tuned for a very special episode--pardon me--a very special colonoscosode of Grey's Anatomy, entirely narrated by Meredith's butt."

un-smurfing-polite

adj. Actually, this is pretty smurfing polite.

Real citation: "You should never have tried to smurf it in her smurfhole without asking. Or at the very least you couldv'e used a little smurfroglide. It just nasty and un-smurfing-polite. Its no smurfing way to treat a lady smurf. Especially the only lady smurf."
(April 1, 2007, Paizo, http://paizo.com/people/ReekyShanks/posts)

Made-up citation: "You may think I am uncouth, ill-mannered, and un-smurfing-polite. But that's just because I smurfed you with my butt."

thongaroos

noun. Underoos with a little less under.

Real citation: "mine has ogre chicks in thongaroos "
(March 11, 2003, EZboard, http://p103.ezboard.com/fchildrenofthemotheranouncements.showNextMessage?topicID=813.topic)

Made-up citation: "Governor Blago-whatsit just posted thirty pictures of himself in thongaroos on his Facebook page, hoping for a sea change in press coverage. Hey, it worked for Lincoln."

exorcism czar

noun. A fancy title for a demon-expeller's demon-expeller.

Real citation: "My only question is, why hasnt your fav preznit created a cabinet post for an Exorcism Czar; it'd be a likely real crowd pleaser for a good number of your fellow base members."
(April 28, 2007, TalkLeft, http://www.talkleft.com/story/2007/4/27/131845/894)

Made-up citation: "There are only four people in the world who can help you right now, Stanley: the Pope, Batman, Angelina Jolie, and me--the exorcism czar of the entire tri-state area."

testosto-moronic

adj. Do you love the smell of testicles in the morning? How about idiocy? Then I think you're going to like this word and planet.

Real citation: "The network gods must be crazy. And clearly, not all of the carnage can be blamed on the writers' strike, despite the relentless attempts by industry executives to do so. Yes, the strike delayed some of our favorite series -- 'The Shield' and '24,' for example -- but many more shows stumbled and fell on their faces after reasonably promising first seasons. 'Lipstick Jungle' and 'Pushing Daisies' were pulled this fall due to story lines that felt repetitive within weeks of their premieres and, not surprisingly, failed to pull in interested viewers over the long haul. Meanwhile, shows like Showtime's 'Californication,' HBO's 'Entourage' and 'The Life and Times of Tim,' and FX's 'Testees' sallied forth clumsily like unholy zombies, defining a whole new subgenre: the plotless, joke-free, cringe-inducing, testosto-moronic half-hour cable tragicomedy."
(Heather Havrilesky, Dec. 28, 2008, Salon, http://www.salon.com/ent/tv/feature/2008/12/28/year_in_tv/)

Made-up citation: "Under the new laws, all testosto-moronic behavior will be punishable with a testosto-colonic nuclear pitchfork."

Greater Scumbagistan

noun. The homeland! Where my scumbag-cestors roamed.

Real citation: "Kerry said the incident raised questions about Fox's fitness to serve as an ambassador, unless it was either to East Assholia or Greater Scumbagistan."
(Feb. 28, 2007, WTF Is It Now?!?, http://maruthecrankpot.blogspot.com/2007/02/not-so-fast-asswipe-kerry-slams.html)

Made-up citation: "Many have tried to visit my apartment without making a detour through Greater Scumbagistan. Many have failed. Life is a journey."

shoe-enfreude

noun. I take pleasure in the suffering of shoes. To me, they're not even human!

Real citation: "The occasion has been referred to as Shoe-enfreude on. A alter ego told me the reporter's dub was Joe and after a mark time while I looked at him blankly, he followed by saying, 'Shoeless Joe'. Then someone asked what President Bush's favorite pie is and the retort is of course, 'shoe-fly' pie. Someone else referred to the to-do as an attempted 'shoe-icide'. But there is a precarious inconsiderable to all of this."
(Dec. 18, 2008, Unknown War Video, http://unknownwarvideo.blogspot.com/2008/12/birmingham-progressive-politicsBlogger: Wordlustitude - Create Post.html)

Made-up citation: "Our relationship was so solid, or so I thought. We overcame many obstacles, including a run-in with a cult, but when I demanded 'shoe-enfreude' be part of our wedding vows, well... That's why I'm single and speaking to you from the roof instead of the parlor of Veronica's estate."

schmubby-wubby-poo

noun. Schmoopy-woopy-poo.

Real citation: "Sera: Hey there handsome! It's me, your schmubby-wubby poo."
(June 13, 2003, Hamtaro World, http://www.hamtaroworld.5u.com/)

Made-up citation: "Jenkins, we need to talk. Your little pet names are inappropriate for the office environment. Professionals don't appreciate being called schmubby-wubby-poo, ho-cake, assbutt, or Daddy's little dumpling. Got that, poopoobutthead?"

paleo-jackass

noun. A jackass of yore.

Real citation: "Clarence Thomas, who you mentioned in your post, is merely a paleo-jackass by comparison"
(Jan. 4, 2008, http://mailman.lbo-talk.org/pipermail/lbo-talk/Week-of-Mon-20071231/000267.html)

Made-up citation: "Only a trained specialist--with at least three grad degrees--can tell the difference between a paleo-jackass and a paleo-douche just by glancing at their bone structure or blog posts."

ex-step-ferret

noun. A rodent unrelated by blood. And lost in the mists of time!

Real citation: "My ex step-ferret used to like to hang out inside the couch. She would come out if you shook a box of cereal because she loved Fruit Loops."
(Nov. 14, 2008, Snopes, http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=38364)

Made-up citation: "I wish I could stop slithering back to my ex-step-ferret. But a soulmate is a soulmate..."

obvious-tacular-ish

adj. Duh-tacular-ish.

Real citation: "Well, why don't I start by saying what's wrong with Halloween? I'm such a pessimist! Everything of life is wrong. No questions asked.
skenk.
1) The obvious-tacular-ish one: SAFETY!
No, I am not talking about the whole "syringe-in-the-bag-of-chips/poisoned-apple" thing. I mean RAPE. There are a lot of rapists out there, especially in MY community (lawl@that) and child predators and whatnot. And on occasion the person you/your child is taking candy from IS a rapist!! GASP. And if you're one of those parents on crack-cocaine, then you MIGGGHHHT not know WHAT your child is dressed up as. So here is a fun little scenario I'm throwing together as it forms in my head.
Child dressed as a ghost goes up to rapist's house. Rapist kidnaps child, escapes to mexico. The parent on crack-cocaine can obv describe the child... but then they'll be all 'zomg I don't know what costume it was wearing'. Then the child floats up dead on your local beach/your well.
That's why Halloween is not safe."
(Nov. 1, 2008, Livejournal, http://whoknew007.livejournal.com/828.html)

Made-up citation: "After 36 years on this planet, one thing and one thing only has become obvious-tacular-ish: pale ale goes great with pizza. Don't say I never taught you anything, future generations!"

semi-ok-crappy-esque

adj. May indicate that best practices are not being followed. Likely to signal the presence of crap. Hardly the kind of language I hoped to see on your report card again, young man!

Real citation: "There was a bunch of other shit, I'm tired of typing, I played semi-ok-crappy-esque, but you know... can't touch this."
(July 28, 2004, Ravetrash, http://www.ravetrash.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=276476&sid=054d52c8e459114f842770c36e4997cd)

Made-up citation: "'Have a semi-ok-crappy-esque holidays!' That's what my mother said to me every year. You know what's worse? She said it in May."

manblogitude

noun. What you'll find, if you dare to look, deep inside the pants of all testosterone-marinated blogs such as this.

Real citation: "I’m not sure I can take a calendar full of steaming hot manblogitude…"
(Dec. 3, 2008, The Comics Curmudgeon, http://joshreads.com/?p=1809)

Made-up citation: "Women love me for my manblogitude. Men hate me for it. Man-blogs admire me. Woman-blogs are curious. Woodland critters are just afraid."

(Thanks to Ben Zimmer for the tip!)

Catholic dog exorcist whisperer guy

noun phrase. A quiet professional who always carries holy water and Scooby snacks.

Real citation: "ahhh thats better. Thanks to the Dog Whisperer/Exorcist, the shapeshifting schitzu dog demon thing is happier and I can now lead it around the house without it perching evil-ly on my back ... thanks Catholic Dog Exorcist Whisperer guy you've saved the universe again with your anti-demon-dog-back-perching superpowers ... and the shoulders on my shirts are now completely clean with no unnecessary evil demon-dog mess."
(Nov. 14, 2007, The Paracast Community Forums, http://forum.theparacast.com/ghost-stories-f12/demon-on-his-back-t1233/)

Made-up citation: "Mom! I want to be a Catholic dog exorcist whisperer guy when I grow up. They wear the funnest hats."

pee-piphany

noun. A wet realization astronauts deal with using a maximum absorbency garment. Hope it was worth it, space-boy.

Real citation: "Pee-piphany
Hi internet! I am sure you will be thrilled to learn that I have more or less perfected the ability to stay half-asleep when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. If there's one thing in this world I have a genuine knack for, it's sleeping. You know how Mr. Newt is the Michael Phelps of giving advice? I am the Michael Phelps of losing consciousness and staying that way."
(Nov. 23, 2008, Dear Gherkin, http://mydeargherkin.blogspot.com/2008/11/pee-piphany.html)

Made-up citation: "I have great respect for your pee-piphanies, dude. Just don't have one again on the top bunk."

douche-wibbler

noun. One of the most loathsome wibblers in the known galaxy.

Real citation: "Jay, you're a douche-wibbler."
(Sarah Silverman, Dec. 4, 2008, The Sarah Silverman Show, http://www.avclub.com/content/tvclub/the_sarah_silverman_6??utm_source=television&utm_medium=RSS)

Made-up citation: "The Zen master smiled at the apprentice and said, 'You are not a douche-wibbler, as your family insists. You are only a wibbler-wibbler.' At this, the apprentice became enlightened."

French-fry-pocalypse

noun. What a way to go. Pommes-frite-geddon.

Real citation: "French Fry-pocalypse
I see this picture and I think…ominous. If this wasn’t such a common occurrence I’d suggest this might be one of the seven signs of the apocalypse. If seagulls stole your fries wouldn’t you think it was the end of the world? Could these be the seven seagulls of the apocalypse? Yah, probably not, but they sure look angry."
(Dec. 9, 2006, Lord of the Fries, http://lordofthefries.wordpress.com/2006/12/09/french-fry-pocalypse/)

Made-up citation: "If I die today, let it be in a French-fry-pocalypse. Bury me in ketchup! Eat me with a burger. Commend my soul to...um...a good soul-commender."

super-duper-robo-thingy-of-doom

noun. Your Christmas shopping is over, along with your entire way of life--because of the doooooooooooom!

Real citation: "Errr, I've beaten the game once, though not including all the Danger room discs. I don't remember all that apocalypse stuff though. Also, the last boss is General Kincaid in his super-duper-robo-thingy-of-doom."
(April 6, 2005, UGO.com Forums, http://forums.ugo.com/archive/index.php/t-20661.html)

Made-up citation: "Child: 'Mom, can I use my super-duper-robo-thingy-of-doom in the bathtub, to destroy the bathtub and all we hold dear?' Mom: 'Yes, you may.'"

CTWF (catastrophic tortilla wall failure)

noun phrase. It's brought down many burritos before their time. And those burritos had families!

Real citation: "If the burrito is especially full or the tortilla is weak, this pressure wave can cause there to be a catastrophic tortilla wall failure or as I call it CTWF, which creates a giant mess."
(Dec. 17, 2008, WunderKraut, http://www.wunderkraut.com/index.php/archives/2008/12/17/how-to-eat-a-burrito/)

Made-up citation: "I'm moving to Switzerland, where even CTWF and hurt feelings are covered by universal health care. I'm not as indestructible as I look, you know. I suffer, and I bleed, and when spilled burrito parts fall in the bleeding wound, I cry too."

Ted-Bundy-of-the-month club

noun phrase. A less snuggly social group than the Fluffy-bunny-of-the-month club, sources suggest.

Real citation: "Do not get me wrong, I am enamoured (enthralled?) as the next red-blooded hombre by Penthouse Letters and senseless violence. However, the main reason this venture doesn't quite do it for me is the fact Tom is such an obvious candidate for the Ted-Bundy-of-the-Month club from the start. And his comportment of himself at the end of the piece, though ogreish, is really no surprise. This particular lack of character range serves to magnify the propaganda aspect of the venture when that aspect (propaganda) needs must be almost seamlessly and transparently embedded in a work in order for it to transcend that pejorative label."
(Aug. 25, 2006, TQR Confidential, http://tqrarchive.blogspot.com/2006/08/terminal-discussion-for-fall-issue-o6.html)

Made-up citation: "I like being a guy. It makes dating easier. There are so many bottom-feeding, horror-spreading, mega-drooling dudes out there, that if you're not a member of the Ted-Bundy-of-the-month club, you appear to be a great catch, even if you're not. The bar, it is low."

Odinosity

noun. Odin-itude. The essence of the only lord I worship. Well, other than the sweet sacred goddess of the pancake, Mrs. Butterworth.

Real citation: "For maximum Odinosity, you would probably need to have a single corneal transplant and then leave the other eye alone."
(Jan. 22, 2008, Livejournal, http://lilmissnever.livejournal.com/89104.html?thread=1191440)

Made-up citation: "With sounds and sights of Santa and Jesus attacking the general populace like angry bears upon a jam-covered teenager, it is hard to keep Odinosity in mind. But the faithful shall be rewarded! Someday, Odin's ravens may poop on your head, if you want it bad enough."

boom-boom-boom-ish

adj. Not a good type of sound to hear emanating from a car or diaper.

Real citation: "The problems i had with my clutch was different. I had noise when the clutch was loaded between 1st and 2nd especially uphill.
Can you describe the noise, as i have a noise like a boom boom boom ish kinda noise... duh duh duh noise and there is vibration."
(Jan. 17, 2004, Astra Owners Club Forum, http://www.astraownersclub.com/vb/archive/index.php/t-1274.html)

Made-up citation: "I love you, sweet Gwendolyn. When we're together, my heart makes boom-boom-boom-ish noises, and I get a sharp pain in my arm, along with lightheadedness, anxiety, and a feeling of impending doom. Without you, I'd never make it to the hospital. This IV's for you!"

non-dweebiness

noun. A hard quality to find. Particularly in dweebs.

Real citation: "Will only speak up to defend the non-dweebiness of Adrien Brody in King Kong. Just dreamy, please.
But seriously, isn't he supposed to be more of a theatrical demigod? Doesn't that automatically make him not a dweeb? (Technicality, I realize.)"
(Dec. 20, 2005, EW.com, http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2005/12/double_vision_k.html)

Made-up citation: "Non-dweebiness cannot be bought; it must be earned--except for this week only at the Non-dweeb Store's HOLIDAY BLOWOUT. Be afraid!"

leg burqa

noun. Below-the-belt-wear that won't distract innocent bystanders and other sleazeballs.

Real citation: "Magda just gave directions to two sets of tourists. Fortunately she was wearing a leg burqa (jeans) so they paid attention."
(Magda P., Dec. 14, 2008, Facebook status update)

Made-up citation: "I slipped on half-melted ice and crashed into a puddle, soaking my stylish leg burqa. Though my discourse is elevated by such exotic terminology, I still felt like an ass."

post-traumatic olfactory disorder

noun phrase. The stinkiest of a family of syndromes. This condition is so reverse-delightful that many a sufferer has renounced their own nose with a steak knife.

Real citation: "I have smelled a lot of gross things in my life. But I have NEVER I repeat NEVER smelled anything as horrible or wretched in my entire existence on this planet!
This incident happened 4 years ago people! I can still remember the horribleness.
Clearly I am suffering from Post Traumatic Olfactory Disorder. I need help."
(Nov. 12, 2008, Mrs007, http://www.mrs007.com/mommyville/lip-gloss-in-the-dogs-butt/)

Made-up citation: "Since I have no sense of smell, post-traumatic olfactory disorder is not a condition I suffer often. I wish I could say the same thing about subdural hematomas!"

ping pong shui

noun phrase. Funner than feng shui, I reckon. And it has more balls.

Real citation: "Ping pong shui is hard to master."
(Dec. 7, 2008, Jyte, http://jyte.com/cl/ping-pong-shui-is-hard-to-master)

Made-up citation: "As your therapist, I think it's time you stopped working on your mommy issues, your daddy issues, and the way you feel about your robotic liver. Spend a month perfecting your ping pong shui and come back to the couch. After that, we'll tour the world as a table tennis doubles team. Then, finally, after over thirty years, I will achieve my destiny."

depoopinator

noun. Such a handy device in a turdtastrophe.

Real citation: "If I'm marshalling the 90, it will have to be a real big one. Maybe I should bring along the 'Depoopinator 3000" heavy duty industrial plunger."
(Jan. 24, 2008, Slotblog!, http://slotblog.net/index.php?s=d08f611dc0d161ab0ac68942aa9e5189&showtopic=4919&pid=86142&st=20&#entry86142)

Made-up citation: "Nurse, hand me the depoopinator. Hmm. Doesn't seem to be getting the job done. Do we still have the marmot?"

caketagious

adj. Only a few cakes achieve this divine, herpes-like state. That's going to sound awesome in the commercial.

Real citation: "its caketagious, highly infections desire to consume large amounts of sugary confections..... oooohhh sugar!!"
(Sept. 18, 2008, Twitter, http://twitter.com/elfinamsterdam/statuses/925737284)

Made-up citation: "The holidays are a caketagious time, doctors warn. Is that why I've gained 40 pounds in four days, and my skin has been replaced with a thick layer of frosting? I've never felt so moist, delicious, and desirable to the opposite sex and local rodents."

Iranian-onaut

noun. The real reason war with Iran is inevitable. Hummus in space!

Real citation: "Imagine being an Iranian-onaut(one wonders what they'll be called, besides 'The Late' something something). Iran officially announced their intentions to put a man in space in the next ten years, after sort of almost kinda making a rocket into orbit this week. And they PROMISE they are NOT planning to use any of this orbital guided rocket stuff to launch nuclear warheads at people. Riiiigght."
(Aug. 21, 2008, Livejournal, http://barry-barry.livejournal.com/)
Made-up citation: "Last night, I dreamed about an Iranian-onaut and a leprechaun. They were in love, but on opposite sides of the Cola wars. No one would give ginger ale a chance. Finally, my mother nuked Iceland, and I woke up."

buttlickee

noun. The possessor of a well-lapped ba-donk-a-ma-donk.

Real citation: "I see the buttlicker and buttlickee both in this thread.. baby just got back eh DL?"
(July 3, 2006, Atrip.net Forums, http://www.atrip.net/forums/archive/index.php/t-9229.html)

Made-up citation: "Don't think making me your buttlickee will help you climb the corporate ladder, son. I expect to be a whole-body-lickee by 4:00 sharp. That and the timely submission of TPS reports will take you to the top, my boy."

Gov. Blagowhatsit

noun. The Governor of my state! My state! Could I be prouder? Could I be more entertained? What do you think?

Related terms: Blago-something, Blago-whatever.

Real citation: "The son of famous civil rights leader Jesse Jackson, reportedly offered (through one of his flunkies) $1milllon for Barack Obama’s vacated senate seat. Gov. Blagowhatsit was right, that’s a f***in’ valuable thing. I wonder if he got a free Obama plate and coin too."
(Dec. 10, 2008, South DaCola, http://www.southdacola.com/blog/2008/12/senate-candidate-5-please-stand-up/)

Made-up citation: "Dear Gov. Blagowhatsit, I am a fourth grade student in Chicago. I just sold today's homework on the school bus for 10 bucks. When I grow up I'm going to buy the school bus and do bad things with it. We love you very much!"

Nobel Science Lunatic Prize

noun phrase. Out of decency, this award is no longer known as the Nobel Mad Scientist AT&T Honda Kellogg's Crack On Your Cornflakes Fiesta Bowl Prize.

Real citation: "I am the creator of the 'Hapsadasical Ipsocrackable Rocka-Doca-Doodle' study of rocks. I will be receiving my Nobel Science Lunatic Prize soon for this miraculous discovery. Please enjoy my incredible findings. They will literally 'rock' your world!"
(Aug. 7, 2008, Sheri Williams, Dave's Garden, http://davesgarden.com/guides/articles/view/1413/)

Made-up citation: "I'm a top contender for the Nobel Science Lunatic Prize this year. I created a phone that doubles as a muffin, so you can eat breakfast and talk on the phone at the same time, and all with the same orifice! That's also the same orifice I use to lick the grant money."

dowhateverer

noun. Not a do-gooder. Not an evil-doer. This type can be found somewhere in the middle, on a soft couch suspended in a moral vacuum. Or, this type can be found everywhere, working a bazillion jobs at once, just to keep the boat floating on the solvent seas.

Real citation: "Moving on, things have been, you know, they way they may or may not supposed to be the summer before you leave for college after a non-traditional year of life that makes you pretty sure you're ready for it. Whether or not I'll really like it is not yet the issue. It's just time to move on. It's always on my mind but it's rare that I actually really think about that. Instead, I've spent a couple days doing menial jobs for anyone in the school of the arts where my mom pimps me out. I consider myself a freelance dowhateverer."
(June 7, 2005, almost famous, http://nervouslyweird.blogspot.com/2005/06/where-do-i-start-and-where-do-i-begin.html)

Made-up citation: "Though my card says Executive Freelance Dowhateverer, I have standards. For example, I will humiliate myself, but I won't debase myself. I'll gladly become a floor-licker, but for the bathroom floor, I'll use my toothbrush. For a modest fee, I'll allow strangers to pour beer on me, but only the good stuff--start with a double IPA, please."

congress-cockroach

noun. The preferred gender-neutral term for our congressional compatriots.

Related term: congressroach.

Real citation: "The entire industry is switching to all digital transmission - by 2007 the analog spectrum will be reclaimed for other uses...the new TVs DO have all of this encryption built in...so does Microsoft Vista, so do the new HD-compatible monitors, so do the new Blu-Ray and HD-DVD compatible devices, etc...
...AAAAAND, YOU, the consumer, are paying extra for ALL of it...
Enjoy it. And be sure to thank your Congress-cockroach for making it all happen for you as well..."
(Feb. 9, 2006, TippingPitchers.com, http://www.tippingpitchers.com/showthread.php?p=994087)

Made-up citation: "When I was a kid, I wanted nothing more than to be a congress-cockroach when I grew up, so I could serve my country. But after spending a few years as pond scum, and then a summer as dog poo, I decided that my true destiny was to be the sewer rat my friends know and set traps for today."

battle-tastic-tacular-gasm-worthy

adj. Fight! Fight! Fight! Gak! Ugh! Kaboom! Blurgh! Pow! Fooz! Quuuuk! Hghghg! Vlotz! Aiiiiiiieeee!

Real citation: "After all, even if the game is battle-tastic-tacular-gasm worthy, it'd get old if you had to play it alone or in a foreign language."
(Jan. 14, 2008, Triple Peeps Productions, http://www.triplepeeps.com/boards/viewtopic.php?p=3363&sid=db006ade5e99f72e837a496250094541)

Made-up citation: "So your spaceship is battle-tested, huh? Well, my friend, did you know my astro-death-bomber is battle-tastic-tacular-gasm-worthy? Heh heh heh. Stick that in your crack pipe and smoke it till math class."