deathwishiness

noun. A half-hearted desire for the sweet relief of the grave, that chocolate oblivion sandwich!

Real citation: “My homo-preference discovery, denial, and drugging, mixed with desperate, wrenching prayers for change, strength, and death. I repented for things I hadn't done, begged for a new brain and sacrificed what I had not to give... A resounding, God-like: 'No Deal,' followed by increased horniness, loneliness and deathwishiness. This cycle built until about half way through my senior year in High School, when it all caught up. I got expelled, came out to friend number one, and was sent to live in Axtel, Nebraska with mom to graduate there... and most horror of horrors, get cut off from pot.”
(June 6, 2006, Soulforce, http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=722&page=3)

Made-up citation: "Rejected titles for Charles Bronson's hit Death Wish included Deathwishiness, Grrrrr, and I'm Gonna Kill Everybody."