Wednesday, June 01, 2005

non-fun-haver god

noun. A deity who sucks several things: 1. Ass. 2. Monkey balls. 3. The life out of the party.

Real citation: "If I were in your pants, I'd run in the other direction. People who follow this kind of punitive, non-fun-haver god are problematic in a host of ways. These are the homemade-cross-toting lunatics who were shrieking outside Terry Schiavo's hospice room. You'll find them disrupting school-board meetings with long screeds about how wrongheaded those newfangled proponents of evolution are because everyone knows god made Adam and Eve (not Adam and Steve), and that's how civilization began, damn it (only they wouldn't swear). These Holy Rollers are that most curious (and hypocritical) mix of antichoice, but pro–death penalty. Plus, have you ever actually listened to Christian rock? Yikes."
(Judy McGuire, "Born Again Virgin," Seattle Weekly,

Made-up citation: “A non-fun-haver god is a lot easier to take as part of a pantheon of gods. Then our diverse spiritual needs can be met by the crack-smoker god, the Peking-duck-gobbler-god, and the blow-milk-out-your-goddamn-nose god.”

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